1. Hey. Thank you guys for coming.
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2. Thanks.
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3. Hi.
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4. I'm Jimmy.
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5. Hi.
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6. I'm hanging out...
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7. No, I'm hanging out with
Tony Danza, Bruce Springsteen,
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8. No.
and somebody walks by
and goes, "Hey, Boss."
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9. I go, "Yep?"
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10. Oh, this place is great.
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11. You like it?
Yeah.
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12. Is there a bedroom?
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13. I don't know.
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14. Want to explore?
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15. Mm-hmm.
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16. I'm having so much fun with you.
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17. I'm having fun with you.
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18. But I'm just curious,
Mm-hmm.
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19. where do you see this going?
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20. Where do I see this going?
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21. Stay in touch.
Yeah.
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22. And, uh, I hope they
find your brother.
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23. Hi. I'm Jimmy.
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24. Hey, Jimmy.
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25. All right, everybody,
I have some
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26. important announcements
to make.
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27. I broke it off
with the redhead.
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28. I know you were all fond of her,
so don't be too sad.
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29. Who?
Which redhead?
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30. What happened to the brunette?
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31. Also, I'm closing
the restaurant tomorrow
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32. to get new upholstery...
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33. Oh good, I hated
the upholstery.
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34. Let me finish...
and the new upholstery
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35. is the same
as the old upholstery.
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36. Let me finish.
I hated the upholstery
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37. 'cause it's opposite day.
I love it.
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38. Since we got the night off,
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39. we should all go out
and do something tonight.
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40. Who's in?
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41. Yeah, I'm in. Cool. Dad?
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42. Pshh. You think he wants
to hang out with us lowlives?
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43. My man's got
a phoneful of honeys
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44. just waiting to date him.
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45. Well, he's not wrong.
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46. And they're not honeys,
they're women.
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47. And one of them could be
the next Mrs. Jimmy Martino.
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48. See what we got.
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49. Ooh, text "Bookstore Girl."
All right.
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50. No, no, uh, "Girl in Front
of Door comma Tall."
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51. Okay.
No, no, Poor Man's Halle Berry.
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52. Yes, Victor, yes, yes.
Mm-hmm.
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53. Why pick one?
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54. Why don't we cast a wide net?
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55. And I've got the perfect bait.
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56. Watch this.
Yeah.
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57. Oh.
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58. A response already?
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59. Reel it in, boss.
Reel it in.
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60. No, no, this is Priya.
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61. Yikes, I thought you
blocked her number.
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62. She's obsessed with me.
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63. I never went out with the girl
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64. but she sends me a video
every day.
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65. Hey, Jimmers, I told my boss
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66. I was going to the bathroom,
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67. but really
I was just sneaking away
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68. so I could send you this.
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69. But I am gonna pee after,
'cause I do have to go
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70. and I'm not allowed to take
too many breaks.
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71. Bye.
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72. Who was recording
that video?
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73. I was wondering the same thing.
Ooh.
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74. Get back to work.
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75. Caprese salad.
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76. How's your meal?
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77. My spaghetti only has
one meatball.
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78. Can I have a discount?
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79. Well, dinner's
on the house tonight
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80. and you only have one meatball
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81. because you gave your other
meatball to your daughter.
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82. Nummy.
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83. Way to tank it, Edie.
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84. Ooh, I'd like another glass
of the Montepulciano.
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85. Got it.
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86. Or a more full-bodied red,
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87. if you have it.
Got it.
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88. Done?
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89. That's all.
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90. Got it.
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91. Whoa. No joke,
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92. you order like Beyoncé.
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93. Hey, you're single and classy.
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94. You want to come with me
to this new chic bar
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95. on Melrose tomorrow?
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96. I'm trying to step up
my classy game.
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97. You know, books,
that kind of thing.
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98. Are you talking about
Bar Marseillaise?
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99. I've been dying to go there.
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100. Also, I've been dying
to go anywhere.
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101. The last time I had
a real night off,
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102. I had a date with a man.
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103. Well, a girls' night
sounds like fun.
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104. It's been a long time
since I've rocked the Casbah.
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105. We can tell.
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106. Well, Jimmy, unlike you,
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107. I don't need to go out
every night
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108. and seek validation
from the opposite sex.
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109. That's not true.
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110. No, it's not an insult,
it's a fact.
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111. You're addicted
to female validation.
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112. Everything about you
is aimed at getting it.
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113. Like what?
You car,
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114. your clothes, the way you only
approach women from the right
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115. because that's
your good side.
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116. That one French poem
you memorized.
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117. "Chanson d'Après-midi"
is a classic
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118. that everyone should know.
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119. Ooh, fancy.
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120. Right.
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121. Then, of course,
once you get the validation
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122. that you're after, you bail
before it gets too serious,
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123. and then you're on
to the next girl.
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124. That's not true.
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125. True.
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126. There's a pretty woman
behind you
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127. that keeps looking over here.
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128. I wonder what her deal is.
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129. I'm not falling for that.
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130. Look at those legs.
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131. All right, I am going to look
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132. because I don't want to be rude
in case you're not tricking me,
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133. which I knew the whole time
you were tricking me.
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134. You turned with your right side.
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135. Yup.
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136. Uh, Edie, just stay out of this.
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137. Do I enjoy the company
of women? Yes.
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138. Do they enjoy the company
of me?
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139. I don't know, I don't know.
You know.
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140. But that doesn't mean
I seek validation
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141. or that I... that I have
some sort of addiction.
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142. I'm going out tomorrow night
to a place
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143. that I can pretty much guarantee
is women-free.
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144. Guys, uh, count me in
for whatever stupid thing
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145. you're doing tomorrow night.
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146. We're actually still deciding.
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147. It's between a Korean spa,
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148. and a museum of curiosities.
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149. If we shoot the moon,
we can do both.
Spa.
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150. Damn it.
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151. See, a beautiful woman
just walked by,
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152. and I didn't even notice her.
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153. Isn't this place perfect?
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154. Yeah, I Googled "rich people,
bar, Downton Abbey"
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155. so we can class things up.
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156. Oh, good evening, "gar-kon."
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157. One wine cooler, please.
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158. We don't have those here.
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159. Oh, out of stock. I see.
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160. Then I'll simply
purchase a white wine.
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161. What varietal?
Grape.
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162. Okay.
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163. I am not seeing a lot of talent
out tonight.
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164. It's never a good sign
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165. when you can beat up
every guy in the bar.
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166. I thought that
was your type.
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167. They all look like your ex.
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168. Well, uh, Bruce was nice,
but he didn't really...
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169. Make you horny. Got it.
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170. Oh, sorry I'm late.
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171. Jimmy made me go buy him
a new spa robe.
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172. Anyway, let's get some food.
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173. What do you guys want?
Okay.
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174. What am I gonna get?
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175. Don't say hot dogs—
I had three for lunch.
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176. Ooh, never had this.
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177. Brick oven-roasted
artichoke sounds fancy.
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178. Yeah, get that.
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179. I'm gonna have the, uh...
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180. God. Sorry.
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181. Hello, Jimmy.
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182. Yes, Koreatown is safe now.
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183. The riots ended 24 years ago.
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184. Can I get some
sugar for this?
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185. Sugar?
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186. Just get her some sugar.
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187. This is awesome.
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188. Wait a minute, I thought you
said we were going to a spa.
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189. This is a spa:
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190. the cheapest Korean
spa in all of L.A.
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191. All you can eat, drink
and schvitz for ten bucks.
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192. Great, just what I wanted
to do tonight,
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193. sweat into a bowl
of "bimbimbap."
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194. Mm, yeah, I'm going to
"bimbimbap" my face off.
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195. Uh, and fill up on rice?
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196. First time at a
bargain Korean spa?
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197. Please. All right,
you're talking to the guy
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198. that brought an extra Tupperware
just to fill up
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199. with the complimentary lotion.
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200. Oh, were you just gonna use the
free lotion while you're here?
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201. Are you implying that you can
get more bang for your buck
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202. at this spa
than I can, bro?
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203. I'm not implying it.
I'm straight-up saying it.
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204. Oh, it is on.
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205. Bring it.
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206. Psyched for the sauna, Dad?
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207. Oh, this is perfect. It's
got everything I'd want.
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208. Dirty towels, fungus...
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209. all my employees'
penises. Ew.
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210. Come on, let's go!
No more phone!
Bro time!
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211. Come sauna with us.
The sauna is up.
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212. Let's go, Grandpa.
Sauna is up.
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213. The sauna, the sauna.
All right, all right.
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214. Now I finally understand
why jocks beat up nerds.
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215. Yay! Yeah!
That's because their jealous
of our potential.
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216. Yup, been a Red Sox fan
ever since I went to HBS.
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217. Get the hell out of here!
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218. I went to Hank's
Bartending School, too!
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219. Did you hear they got robbed?
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220. I meant Harvard Business School.
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221. Oh.
Here you go.
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222. Ah...
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223. Looks yummy.
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224. I'll just...
I'm gonna let it cool.
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225. Yeah.
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226. Hot. Steam.
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227. No, seriously,
this tour was unbelievable.
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228. They said we'd be lucky
to see one whale.
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229. We saw two whales.
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230. Wow. That story really lives up
to the hype.
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231. Thanks.
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232. I have to say,
I was hoping you'd talk to me.
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233. I was figuring out
if you were gay.
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234. This is my boss.
Don't go anywhere.
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235. Hey. I got something going
with this Harvard guy...
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236. Mm-hmm.
but how the freak
do you eat a artichoke?
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237. What? Uh, just peel back
the leaves
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238. and scrape off the stuff
at the end with your teeth.
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239. The best part is the heart
in the center.
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240. Got it. Wait, it has a heart?
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241. I don't know how much more
of this place I can take.
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242. I've spoken
to three different accountants
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243. about whale watching.
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244. Ugh.
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245. Oh. Maybe I spoke
too soon.
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246. Pardon my reach.
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247. Hi, I'm Luke.
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248. Oh. Sara.
Nice to meet you.
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249. Ever been on a whale watch?
No.
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250. Good. Buy me a drink.
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251. Love to. Bartender.
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252. Gerald, if I respond
to a flirty text,
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253. that doesn't mean I'm addicted
to female attention, does it?
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254. No, not by itself,
but, you know,
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255. if you take into account
your years of womanizing,
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256. then... yeah.
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257. Victor...
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258. I'm-I'm just trying
to find true love.
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259. Why is that so
controversial?
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260. I guess because
if a man of your stature wanted
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261. to find true love,
he'd have found it by now.
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262. Whew! Round three, baby.
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263. There's at least ten dollars
of free kimchi right here.
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264. No, no, no, no. What about all
this, huh? What about all this?
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265. 50 bucks worth of soju,
$12 worth of baked eggs.
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266. They cook 'em
right in the sauna.
Guys, you better go
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267. a little easy on this food.
It's looking a little... wet.
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268. The buffet table gets
a little splash from the shower.
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269. That's a meal and a beverage
all in one.
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270. Yep.
Ugh.
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271. Come on, Dad, treat yourself.
A little egg action.
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272. Uh-uh.
Why not?
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273. I thought
this was an all-male spa.
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274. Boy, she cuts right
to the chase, doesn't she?
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275. I wonder what her story is.
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276. From the looks of it,
she washes
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277. the towels
and then folds them.
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278. Fascinating.
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279. Would you like
to try our artichoke?
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280. Oh. Yeah. I love 'em.
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281. Those are the discarded pieces.
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282. Have a nice night.
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283. Chipped my tooth—
Fishbone concert.
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284. I broke my arm
at a Better Than Ezra concert.
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285. Cooler injury. Lamer band.
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286. Right.
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287. It's really nice to talk to you.
I have to be honest,
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288. I haven't been out in a while.
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289. Oof. I totally get it.
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290. I'm so bad at this stuff.
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291. No. You're doing pretty good.
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292. How am I doing?
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293. You are doing okay.
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294. I don't want to kill the mood,
but I really hate my ears.
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295. Could you...
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296. Yep.
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297. Thank you.
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298. I got to say,
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299. I kind of miss the ear.
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300. All right, you can put it back.
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301. Yeah! Scored some
of these sick water shoes
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302. someone left in the shower.
These babies are worth
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303. at least 20 bucks. What's up?
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304. Please. I just got
a free full-body massage
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305. from Magic Fingers over there.
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306. Yeah, I don't think
Magic Fingers works here.
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307. But he was so thorough.
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308. Oh. Allow me.
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309. There we go.
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310. Here it is.
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311. They don't teach me how to fold
towels at the restaurant I own.
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312. I own a restaurant.
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313. You have such a great sense
of humor. What's your name?
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314. Uh, towel?
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315. Tuh-owry?
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316. Uh, towel?
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317. Oh, you don't speak English.
You were just...
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318. laughing at my comedic rhythms.
That's... I get that a lot.
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319. Let me text my
assistant Annelise.
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320. Oh, shoot.
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321. Ugh. Sorry this keeps...
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322. happening. Crap.
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323. Yes. Big Sur is amazing.
I get up there whenever I can.
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324. Well, the next time you ride
up there on your motorcycle,
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325. if you want someone to split
the gas money with...
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326. Oh.
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327. Um, I'm sorry.
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328. I must have given you
the wrong impression.
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329. I'm actually married.
What?
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330. Yeah, my wife and I have this
agreement where we can go out
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331. and flirt as much as we want,
just as long as it doesn't lead
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332. to anything physical,
you know?
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333. We call it Catch and Release.
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334. My wife's pretty cool.
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335. What?
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336. What? That's all
an artichoke is?
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337. This is not worth it.
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338. Oh, this heart thing
better be good.
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339. Okay. Okay.
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340. Hangshin lee? What did you say?
I can't understand you.
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341. Are you so obsessed with female
validation that you are flirting
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342. with someone who doesn't
even speak your language?
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343. It doesn't matter that
she doesn't speak my language.
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344. She speaks me.
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345. Chun... Hold on. Can you say it,
please, to her?
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346. Thank you. What is it?
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347. Okay, I translated it.
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348. It means, "I have a husband."
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349. I see.
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350. Could've fooled me, you flirt.
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351. And I have a life. Bye, Jimmy.
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352. Mmm... Mmm...
Mm-hmm.
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353. Nope.
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354. Hey, it's Jimmy.
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355. Yeah, it turns out
I can go to the play now.
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356. Any chance it starts
at 11:00 p.m.
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357. and is near Koreatown?
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358. Hey, it's Jimmy.
You still want to get dinner?
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359. No? Good night.
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360. Hey, well, now that you're up,
you want to go to dinner?
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361. No? Hello?
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362. Hey, any chance
you're free tonight?
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363. You can get free?
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364. Perfect.
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365. Oh, uh, this isn't our bill.
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366. We-we paid the ten dollars
on the way in.
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367. Oh, this is for your
alcohol and food.
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368. You eat like a giant monster.
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369. Wait. Isn't it
all you can eat and drink?
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370. New owner. The old owner
went bankrupt.
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371. That whole all-you-can-eat thing
was a really bad business model.
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372. Thanks.
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373. But...
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374. I can't afford that.
No!
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375. Wh-Why did you make
me eat all those eggs?
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376. I hate eggs.
I hate kimchi.
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377. I don't even like competing!
I just like value!
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378. Come on, you egg eaters,
let's wrap this up.
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379. We're gonna go meet some girls
at a karaoke bar. Come on!
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380. It just keeps
getting worse.
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381. How much does that cost?
Mm.
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382. Hey, there she is.
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383. Jimmers!
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384. Priya?
Oh.
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385. I knew that bathroom video
would get you, you perv!
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386. You guys remember
Priya, right?
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387. Hey.
Hi.
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388. Mm-hmm. Hey, losers.
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389. You want to go sing?
Sure.
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390. Okay, come on.
Come on, let's sing.
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391. Uh, this is a Korean song
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392. that describes how
I'm feeling right now.
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393. It's called "The Penniless
Beggar of Gwangju."
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394. I can't believe
you texted me, stalker.
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395. Yeah, I stalked you.
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396. Priya, how long are we
staying here? These guys suck.
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397. Oh, my God,
get over yourself, Tory.
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398. Right before you texted,
these guys
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399. invited us to a secret
Rihanna show.
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400. but I said we can do that
any time. Anyway,
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401. how was London, England?
I can't believe
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402. you've been living there
this whole time.
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403. Priya, Priya...
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404. Aah!
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405. Isn't she a little bit
of terrific?
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406. Seriously, Priya?
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407. You even need
validation from her?
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408. You've literally
hit rock bottom.
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409. I know you think I have some
sort of addiction towards women,
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410. but that's not
what this is about.
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411. I mean, when I met her I sort of
dismissed her too quickly.
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412. That is immature.
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413. What I'm doing now shows growth.
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414. It's not all about you, Tory.
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415. Ow.
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416. Sweetie, let's
sing something together later.
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417. Something classic.
Do you like here Wiz Khalifa?
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418. Well, I...
Ow! Ow, ow, ow.
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419. And they can flirt as long as
it doesn't lead to anything?
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420. What's crazy is a guy
who sells a dime of pot
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421. is behind bars
while this nutjob roams free.
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422. You don't do time for a dime.
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423. But I know
what you're talking about.
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424. What a jerk.
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425. Want to know how to
get back at him?
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426. help me find
this blonde.
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427. Hey.
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428. Just because you're unhappy
with your sexless marriage
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429. doesn't mean you can
flaunt your chiseled chin
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430. and get my friend all horned up.
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431. Yeah.
I'm all horned up.
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432. Whoa, hey, come on.
It was just harmless flirting.
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433. You should be
ashamed of yourself.
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434. I showed you my ear.
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435. Yeah.
Yeah.
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436. And artichokes are dumb.
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437. Sure, the heart is delicious,
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438. but the leaves
are a bitch, so...
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439. Yeah.
And another thing—
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440. has anyone seen a tall,
blonde lesbian,
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441. blue top...
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442. Hello?
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443. Yes, Jimmy.
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444. We should get out of here.
Yup.
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445. You look terrible.
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446. I feel terrible, too.
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447. I think it was those sauna
eggs— I ate three of them.
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448. Oh, God, we just spent
so much money on food poisoning.
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449. Wait...
the spa gave us food poisoning.
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450. Now we can get our money back.
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451. You want to go puke
and call 'em?
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452. Oh, best night ever.
Yes!
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453. BT-dub, thank you
for saving my night.
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454. I've been out with just girls
for, like, three hours,
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455. and it's like,
what's even the point?
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456. But you can still have fun
with your girlfriends, right?
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457. It's not like you need
male validation.
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458. I didn't get a boob job
for my girlfriends, Jimmy.
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459. I don't squeeze myself into
this for my girlfriends.
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460. I don't wear this much
makeup for my girlfriends.
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461. Actually, can we switch sides?
Because this is my good side.
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462. Oh, my God.
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463. What, you don't think it is?
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464. No...
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465. Priya, this
isn't gonna work out.
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466. It... it's not you, it's just...
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467. London?
Yeah.
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468. But why... When are
you going back?
Now.
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469. Jimmy, uh,
our timing is so off.
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470. I feel like one day we're gonna
see each other in Belgium,
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471. and you're gonna
be like, "Priya?"
Yeah.
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472. And I'm gonna be like, "Jimmy?"
Only I'm gonna have a baby then.
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473. I just hit rock-bottom.
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474. This is nice.
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475. No guys to play their sick
head games with us.
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476. And I know
how to eat everything here.
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477. And you know
what else?
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478. No more Jimmy for tonight.
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479. Off.
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480. I need something to drink
and something to punch.
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481. You know, they're going
to redo the upholstery.
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482. Really?
Mmm. Oh, I'm going in.
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483. Oh, no,
I got my own.
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484. Let's go.
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485. Stop. Calling. Me.
Take that...
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486. Why don't you come in at
6:00 a.m. in the morning?
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487. Always calling...
Motorcycles...
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488. Rough night, angels?
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489. Damn it, you're
everywhere.
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490. I just came here for
a little peace and quiet.
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491. Oh, and actually that's
the new upholstery.
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492. Uh, they finished early;
I tried to text you, but...
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493. Okay.
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494. Thank you so much for
understanding, Mr. Kim.
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495. No, you have a good night.
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496. So we getting
our money back?
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497. No, but he said
we can come back
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498. and sweat out the food
poisoning anytime.
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499. For free?
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500. Half off.
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501. Best night ever.
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502. They're not watching.
Mmm.
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503. They're not watching.
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504. They're not wa...
Mmm, you're so pretty.
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505. Ew, they're not... Ew!
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506. Oh, my God, they're
not even watching.
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507. We're not watching.
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508. Not watching.
Do it again.
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509. Okay, here we go.
All right.
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510. Come on,
come on.
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511. Check it out.
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512. We fixed the booth.
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513. You can barely
even tell.
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514. You can sort of tell.
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515. You can take it
out of my paycheck.
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516. Eh, you work hard.
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517. You earn the right to destroy
a booth once in a while.
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518. Hey, I helped
fix it too!
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519. What do I get?
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520. He really used the term
"catch and release"?
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521. What a tool.
Yeah.
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522. What are we making?
Whatever.
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523. Only food I've been around
tonight is shower kimchi.
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524. Ugh.
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525. Sorry you had
a crappy night.
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526. Makes you feel any better,
you were right about me.
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527. I love women too much.
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528. Or maybe you rely on woman after
woman to make you feel special
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529. because deep down you're
afraid you aren't.
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530. Or I want to find
the right woman,
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531. and I don't care
how long it takes.
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532. Or you're using
that as an excuse.
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533. You're not looking
for the right woman.
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534. That level of intimacy means
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535. that you could get hurt.
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536. Or...
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537. Can't think of any more.
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538. Jimmy, you've been running
around like this for 25 years.
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539. What's your endgame, man?
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540. Says the 46-year-old woman who's
still attracted to bad boys.
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541. Ugh.
What's your endgame, man?
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542. Yeah, well, that's always
been my weakness.
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543. It's how you got
lucky 25 years ago.
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544. It's how I got lucky?
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545. Yeah.
Yeah.
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546. Ugh, I guess at some point
we're gonna need to grow up.
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547. Too hard.
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548. Hey, I know, why don't
we have a backup plan?
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549. Okay, shoot.
Let's do one
of those pacts
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550. where we say that if we're not
married by the time we're 60...
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551. Let's make it 65 to be safe.
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552. Okay, if we're
not married by 70,
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553. then we'll get married.
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554. Yeah, okay. Why not?
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555. Sara Kingsley...
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556. if you're not dead
or married by...
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557. seventy...
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558. Oh.
will you marry me?
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559. Yes.
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560. A thousand times yes.
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561. Maybe we should say
at 75, just in case.
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562. You think? Why don't we,
why don't we just make it 80?
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563. 80! Yes!
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564. Women in my family tend
to die in their 60s,
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565. so 85 it is.
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566. Very good.
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567. There you go,
that's all you get.
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568. isn't it?
Yes! It is. I'm hungry!
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569. Sara...
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