1. Gossip Girl here...
your one and only sourceCopy !req
2. into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.Copy !req
3. Daniel Humphrey has just releasedCopy !req
4. the latest installment of his serial...Copy !req
5. a chapter on our very own Serena.Copy !req
6. Why would you write this now?Copy !req
7. You were supposed to be different.Copy !req
8. What I want isn't in
Brooklyn, dad. I have a plan.Copy !req
9. I have this whole time.Copy !req
10. You are indebted to me.Copy !req
11. You're gonna help me defeat Chuck.Copy !req
12. Meet me at my office first thing tomorrow.Copy !req
13. Unless, of course,Copy !req
14. you'd rather a wake-up call from the feds.Copy !req
15. He is a ruthless criminal.Copy !req
16. There is nothing to stop
him from hurting anyone,Copy !req
17. including you.Copy !req
18. I told you, no one got hurt.Copy !req
19. You're hurting me right now.Copy !req
20. Lily has finally seen the light.Copy !req
21. She's going to help me take down Bart.Copy !req
22. Will you go to war with me?Copy !req
23. I thought you'd never ask.Copy !req
24. And who am I?Copy !req
25. That's a secret I'll never tell.Copy !req
26. You know you love me.Copy !req
27. X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.Copy !req
28. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!Copy !req
29. Alors, you place the
orange under your neck,Copy !req
30. and you pass it to the
player right next to you...Copy !req
31. but without using your hands.Copy !req
32. Alors un, deux, et trois.Copy !req
33. Mrs. Bass?Copy !req
34. Who are you?Copy !req
35. Didn't Charles tell you, Mrs. Bass?Copy !req
36. Tell me what?Copy !req
37. Any morning now,Copy !req
38. he could wake up dead.Copy !req
39. Leave me alone!Copy !req
40. Dead, Mrs. Bass,Copy !req
41. like last week's news.Copy !req
42. Dorota, it's time!Copy !req
43. Wakey, wakey!Copy !req
44. Let's hope in this nightmare,Copy !req
45. father doesn't know best.Copy !req
46. This is the one.Copy !req
47. This hovel? You're flush with
cash from your movie deal.Copy !req
48. Look. Nikki Finke put your
picture up next to Harvey's.Copy !req
49. You should be looking for a soundproof roomCopy !req
50. and a bidet and a guest bath.Copy !req
51. What are you talking about? I
don't... I don't need a bidet.Copy !req
52. It's for me.Copy !req
53. Oh. Well, now I'll never be able
to set foot in the guest bathCopy !req
54. without first thinking of your Geor-Gina.Copy !req
55. But you're not moving in here,Copy !req
56. so you can check your
fantasies at the door.Copy !req
57. What happened to Philip?Copy !req
58. Something happened to Philip?Copy !req
59. Well...Copy !req
60. What? I am a highly sought
after talent manager now.Copy !req
61. I cannot be expected to
live in a lesser borough.Copy !req
62. And Philip loves Brooklyn and he hasCopy !req
63. his little daddy and me classes
every Tuesday in Fort Green.Copy !req
64. You're delusional.Copy !req
65. This is great. I'll take it... solo.Copy !req
66. Great. Great.Copy !req
67. The only thing is that the
co-op board of this buildingCopy !req
68. is particularly stringent,Copy !req
69. so if you want in, you'll
have to get a good reference.Copy !req
70. Right.Copy !req
71. Lily, I have researchedCopy !req
72. all the names and numbers you gave meCopy !req
73. from Bart's offshore accounts.Copy !req
74. I can't pull up the records
without the pass codes.Copy !req
75. Do you recall any of those?Copy !req
76. I'm sorry, Charles.Copy !req
77. I gave you all the information I have.Copy !req
78. Okay. Well, thank you.Copy !req
79. I appreciate your help.Copy !req
80. Unfortunately, I need something more.Copy !req
81. I better go. I'm late for
my bamboo oat body smoother.Copy !req
82. Good luck, darling.Copy !req
83. Lily's information is uselessCopy !req
84. without the P.I.N. numbers.Copy !req
85. We have no hard evidence
Bart illegally traded oil.Copy !req
86. Well, it's too bad.Copy !req
87. Tonight's gala would've been
the perfect time to strike,Copy !req
88. with the city's most
prominent eyes upon him.Copy !req
89. Man of the year. What a charade.Copy !req
90. That's it.Copy !req
91. What's it?Copy !req
92. A charade.Copy !req
93. Lily's information may not
be enough to convict Bart,Copy !req
94. but it may be enough to
bluff a confession out of him.Copy !req
95. I can't put Lily in danger,Copy !req
96. he cannot know she was the one
who told me about the accounts.Copy !req
97. But what if Lily didn't do it?Copy !req
98. Are you on some diet I should know about?Copy !req
99. Huh?Copy !req
100. You literally just tossed a cookie.Copy !req
101. I go to Constance.Copy !req
102. I know an eating disorder when I see one.Copy !req
103. No, it's more like nerves.Copy !req
104. I have my daily meeting with Bart Bass.Copy !req
105. Well, if the stress is
driving you to manorexia,Copy !req
106. maybe you should skip it.Copy !req
107. Yeah, right.Copy !req
108. Only reason Bart's not sending me to jailCopy !req
109. is because I'm being his mole with Chuck.Copy !req
110. I mean, I don't know
how Claire danes does it.Copy !req
111. Spying hurts me head, okay?Copy !req
112. Well, maybe he'll get sick
of these meetings soon enough.Copy !req
113. That's doubtful,Copy !req
114. and the only thing he hates
more than Chuck is tardiness,Copy !req
115. so I'm gonna go.Copy !req
116. Hey, Marshall, it's Serena.Copy !req
117. Uh, let me know if you hear of any subletsCopy !req
118. or productions that need an extra hand.Copy !req
119. I'll be in L.A. tomorrow. Bye.Copy !req
120. Serena!Copy !req
121. Oh. It is a mess in here.Copy !req
122. Oh. Yeah, I'm just purging my closet.Copy !req
123. Ah. A post-Dan cleanse.Copy !req
124. It's just what the doctor ordered,Copy !req
125. and a little distraction.Copy !req
126. Which is exactly what we have for you.Copy !req
127. Is this about Bart? Yeah, my mom
called and told me everything.Copy !req
128. It sounds like it's gotten pretty scary.Copy !req
129. Which is why we need to stop him.Copy !req
130. But in order to do that, we
have to elicit a confession.Copy !req
131. And make him believe we
have proof for his crimes.Copy !req
132. Okay, but how can I help?Copy !req
133. Well, the last person to
be seen with that microfilmCopy !req
134. in her grimy little paw was Ivy Dickens.Copy !req
135. But her cell's been disconnectedCopy !req
136. and she hasn't been spotted
on "Gossip Girl" for weeks.Copy !req
137. She's probably at Cece's Hamptons house.Copy !req
138. That's the place she went
the last time she disappeared.Copy !req
139. Why don't we, uh, get her back here?Copy !req
140. Hello?Copy !req
141. Hey, Ivy. It's Serena.Copy !req
142. Yeah, I know. I can afford caller I.D.Copy !req
143. You know, I've been doing some thinking,Copy !req
144. and... and I realized that my
family treated you horribly.Copy !req
145. True. But why apologize now?Copy !req
146. I don't know. I guess
since Dan humiliated me,Copy !req
147. I have a new appreciation for friendship.Copy !req
148. So why don't we met at
the Oak Room around noon?Copy !req
149. And, uh, we can chat over lunch.Copy !req
150. Fine.Copy !req
151. And there are some things I
wanna talk to you about as well.Copy !req
152. Great. Bye.Copy !req
153. She's in.Copy !req
154. Hey, William, I might not
be here when you get back.Copy !req
155. But you'll be excited to know thatCopy !req
156. your daughter and I are working
on smoothing things over.Copy !req
157. Per your instructions,
I swiped Chuck's phone.Copy !req
158. Well done, grasshopper.Copy !req
159. He had breakfast with Blair
at Rosemary this morningCopy !req
160. and has a hotel management
meeting later this afternoon.Copy !req
161. Isn't this getting a
little bit dull for you?Copy !req
162. My ennui is of no concern to you.Copy !req
163. I will not be caught off
guard by Chuck's anticsCopy !req
164. while I'm being feted at tonight's event.Copy !req
165. Yeah, fine.Copy !req
166. Well, the only other thing I noticedCopy !req
167. was that he called Ivy Dickens a few times.Copy !req
168. Don't try to tell me
you all wanna be friends.Copy !req
169. We don't.Copy !req
170. I called you here under false pretenses.Copy !req
171. We need your help with a mission
we have against Bart Bass.Copy !req
172. Are you kidding?Copy !req
173. I was locked in a room with
Bart Bass. He's dangerous.Copy !req
174. Yes, he is, and you aggravated himCopy !req
175. with your topless antics
and missing microfilm.Copy !req
176. So if you ever wanna
safely return to New York,Copy !req
177. he needs to be taken care of.Copy !req
178. Well, if I knew how, I would've done it.Copy !req
179. We need you to be the goat.Copy !req
180. Don't tell me you've never
studied medieval warfare.Copy !req
181. When the Byzantines wanted to
lure a dragon from its cave,Copy !req
182. they tied a goat to a stick.Copy !req
183. You wanna tie me up and leave me somewhere?Copy !req
184. It's a metaphor.Copy !req
185. We're going to use youCopy !req
186. and the copies you made
of the microfilm as bait.Copy !req
187. But I didn't make any copies.Copy !req
188. As far as Bart's concerned, you did.Copy !req
189. It all went according to plan.Copy !req
190. That's probably Bart calling you now.Copy !req
191. Start talking.Copy !req
192. I heard you're back in town. Where are you?Copy !req
193. Um... The Oak Room.Copy !req
194. Ah. Coincidentally, I'm around the corner,Copy !req
195. and I have time for a chat.Copy !req
196. He's on his way.Copy !req
197. The microfilm had the recordsCopy !req
198. of Bart's illegal oil trade.Copy !req
199. As long as you get him talking,Copy !req
200. he's bound to say something
that links him to his crimes.Copy !req
201. And make sure to record everything he saysCopy !req
202. on your phone.Copy !req
203. Nathaniel Archibald, you're
under arrest for fraud.Copy !req
204. Wait. What?Copy !req
205. Come with me, sir.Copy !req
206. Poor Nate.Copy !req
207. Playing the double agent got
him into double the trouble.Copy !req
208. And now that Bart's wise to this guy,Copy !req
209. the question is,Copy !req
210. who will he outsmart next?Copy !req
211. Thank you.Copy !req
212. My lawyers are doing
everything in their powerCopy !req
213. to have him released as soon as possible.Copy !req
214. Well, obviously Bart figured
out that Nate was playing him.Copy !req
215. And then he started using Nate as his goat.Copy !req
216. Am I the only one who didn't
study Byzantine warfare?Copy !req
217. He thinks having Nate arrestedCopy !req
218. will force me to go to him to make a deal.Copy !req
219. Well, if that's what
he wants, don't give in.Copy !req
220. I'm not about to let Nate rot in jail.Copy !req
221. I have to go to the apartment
and see what he proposes.Copy !req
222. Will you go with him?Copy !req
223. Bart's less likely to pull anythingCopy !req
224. if someone else is on the premises.Copy !req
225. Of course. Chuck?Copy !req
226. After you.Copy !req
227. Well, that's my cue to leave, too.Copy !req
228. Not so fast.Copy !req
229. You are not going anywhere.
We might need you as leverage.Copy !req
230. You're coming with me.Copy !req
231. So... what can I do for you, Daniel?Copy !req
232. Well, um...Copy !req
233. I have... I've found an apartment
that I'm interested in buying.Copy !req
234. Recently, I've had some... troubleCopy !req
235. lending money to my son's friends.Copy !req
236. No. No, I'm not here for a loan.Copy !req
237. For the first time ever, in
fact, I have plenty of money.Copy !req
238. But I need a sponsor to vouch
for me for the co-op board,Copy !req
239. and I know your name
carries a lot of weightCopy !req
240. in New York real estate.Copy !req
241. Well, unlike my son, it's nice to seeCopy !req
242. someone recognizes my stature in this town.Copy !req
243. You couldn't find a better sponsorCopy !req
244. than New York real
estate's man of the year.Copy !req
245. That's right. I hear
congratulations are in order.Copy !req
246. Thank you.Copy !req
247. You know, I've been assigned a
reporter to do a profile on meCopy !req
248. in conjunction with the event.Copy !req
249. Maybe you would like
the opportunity instead?Copy !req
250. Profiles are my specialty.Copy !req
251. Good. Then it's settled.Copy !req
252. You write nice things about me,Copy !req
253. I'll write you a great recommendation.Copy !req
254. If you'll excuse me,Copy !req
255. I have some... family
business to attend to.Copy !req
256. But I look forward to working with you.Copy !req
257. I'm... I'm glad to see you.Copy !req
258. I've been trying to reach
you since Thanksgiving.Copy !req
259. Oh, yeah, and I've been
ignoring your calls,Copy !req
260. your e-mails, and your texts.Copy !req
261. Serena, please. Just let me explain.Copy !req
262. Explain what? That you're
best friends with Bart Bass?Copy !req
263. Congratulations. You've
officially joined the dark side.Copy !req
264. Okay, I'm here. I know that's
why you had Nate arrested.Copy !req
265. So tell me, what's it gonna take
to get you to drop the charges?Copy !req
266. It's quite simple, actually.Copy !req
267. Stop your witch huntCopy !req
268. and leave New York for
Moscow tonight... alone.Copy !req
269. Moscow? As in Russia?Copy !req
270. It's lovely place.Copy !req
271. Real estate market is booming.Copy !req
272. Lots of opportunitiesCopy !req
273. for a young entrepreneur like yourself.Copy !req
274. And how long do you
expect me to live in exile?Copy !req
275. Forever.Copy !req
276. You can never come back to New York.Copy !req
277. That's not a deal.Copy !req
278. That's a different kind of prison sentence.Copy !req
279. I will find another way
to get Nate out of jail.Copy !req
280. There is no other way.Copy !req
281. Don't you get it?Copy !req
282. I'm very close friends with
the police commissioner.Copy !req
283. The only person who can
get Nate out of jail...Copy !req
284. is me.Copy !req
285. We'll see how powerful you areCopy !req
286. when you are locked inside with him.Copy !req
287. If you want to go to Chuck, go.Copy !req
288. You can trust me.Copy !req
289. You were right. I need to
help you get rid of BartCopy !req
290. if I wanna come back to New YorkCopy !req
291. to be with the man that I love.Copy !req
292. We have a pact, just like you and Chuck.Copy !req
293. Rufus?Copy !req
294. What kind of cockamamie love
pact did you make with Rufus?Copy !req
295. It's not Rufus,Copy !req
296. although I'm not at liberty
to name names at this time.Copy !req
297. Really?Copy !req
298. 'Cause I'm just dying to know.Copy !req
299. Oh, no.Copy !req
300. The samples just came in
and they are a disaster.Copy !req
301. I have to go back to the atelier.Copy !req
302. Don't answer your phone unless it's me,Copy !req
303. and do not move off that couch.Copy !req
304. Dorota will be able to tellCopy !req
305. if there are fresh
footprints on the Aubusson.Copy !req
306. I saw your picture all over the news.Copy !req
307. What happened?Copy !req
308. Bart figured out I was playing both sides,Copy !req
309. and this is his way of retaliating.Copy !req
310. How are you doing?Copy !req
311. Well... better now that you're here.Copy !req
312. TMZ leaked your mug shot,Copy !req
313. and you actually look pretty cute.Copy !req
314. Well, cute is gonna help me now.Copy !req
315. I spoke with Chuck's lawyers,Copy !req
316. and they haven't made any progressCopy !req
317. in getting me out on bail.Copy !req
318. Well, I know you don't
trust your grandfatherCopy !req
319. or anyone from the Van Der
Bilt side of the family,Copy !req
320. so I called someone who has some
experience with this kind of situation.Copy !req
321. Dad?Copy !req
322. Why are you stopping?Copy !req
323. Hello? Are you deaf?Copy !req
324. Will you give me a hand signal?Copy !req
325. I... I speak fluent sign.Copy !req
326. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
327. Taking you for a little ride.Copy !req
328. Looking for me?Copy !req
329. Where's Blair?Copy !req
330. She texted me and said she's here.Copy !req
331. If you've done something...Copy !req
332. Blair is fine, okay?Copy !req
333. She's upstairs in the atelier, unharmed.Copy !req
334. She's fineCopy !req
335. because I decided she could be fine.Copy !req
336. Maybe next time I make
a different decision.Copy !req
337. So perhaps you'd like to...Copy !req
338. reconsider my earlier offer?Copy !req
339. Are you threatening
Blair with physical harm?Copy !req
340. Me? No.Copy !req
341. I wouldn't hurt a fly.Copy !req
342. But I'm not God.Copy !req
343. I can't help it if accidents happen.Copy !req
344. This fight is between me and you.Copy !req
345. Leave everyone else out of it.Copy !req
346. If you want your best
friend to get out of jail,Copy !req
347. your stepmother to
enjoy her happy marriage,Copy !req
348. your girlfriend to continue makingCopy !req
349. her pretty little dresses...Copy !req
350. then a new life on the
other side of the worldCopy !req
351. is your only option.Copy !req
352. The Bass jet is waiting on the tarmac.Copy !req
353. Go to Moscow tonight,Copy !req
354. then everyone you loveCopy !req
355. will be safe.Copy !req
356. I spoke to your lawyers.Copy !req
357. The judge is refusing to set bail.Copy !req
358. This can't be happening.Copy !req
359. You're clearly being victimizedCopy !req
360. because of the mistakes
I've made in the past.Copy !req
361. Now don't worry. It'll all get sorted out.Copy !req
362. No, it won't, dad.Copy !req
363. I did it. I'm guilty.Copy !req
364. Nate.Copy !req
365. You've always done the right thing.Copy !req
366. I can't believe you'd
do something like this.Copy !req
367. Although, after the example I set for ya,Copy !req
368. I suppose I only have myself to blame.Copy !req
369. This was all me.Copy !req
370. I fudged the numbers to try
and save "The Spectator."Copy !req
371. So you slipped.Copy !req
372. You've always stood by me.
It's my turn to stand by you.Copy !req
373. We'll go to the lender,
explain everything to them,Copy !req
374. pay them whatever you owe.Copy !req
375. They'll drop the charges.Copy !req
376. No.Copy !req
377. The only person that can
drop the charges is Bart Bass,Copy !req
378. and he won't budge.Copy !req
379. Dorota, the samples were pristine.Copy !req
380. It was a false alarm...Copy !req
381. merely Bart Bass fanning the flames.Copy !req
382. So make sure that Ivy's ass stays gluedCopy !req
383. to that couch cushion.Copy !req
384. Ugh!Copy !req
385. Yes, this is Blair Waldorf.Copy !req
386. Apparently, my town car has been abscondedCopy !req
387. by a ruthless billionaire.Copy !req
388. So if you'd please send another...Copy !req
389. preferably with a different,
less devious driver...Copy !req
390. No. No, what do you mean?Copy !req
391. I'm not still in the car. I'm right here.Copy !req
392. Why? Where'd it go?Copy !req
393. Thank you.Copy !req
394. You seem engrossed.Copy !req
395. Oh, I am.Copy !req
396. Normally, I don't go for...Copy !req
397. romance novels, but, uh...Copy !req
398. the way you describe Serena...Copy !req
399. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
400. A package came this afternoon.Copy !req
401. Thinking it was your
profile on me, I opened it.Copy !req
402. Yeah, well, uh,Copy !req
403. I wrote two versions of the Serena chapter,Copy !req
404. and that's... that's the nice one.Copy !req
405. I prefer the nasty one you published.Copy !req
406. I'm not sure that was the best decision.Copy !req
407. Why not?Copy !req
408. When I was staying here with Serena, I...Copy !req
409. do you wanna hear this?Copy !req
410. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
411. I was trying to make
her fall in love with meCopy !req
412. so I could write the ultimate exposeCopy !req
413. bringing down the golden girl.Copy !req
414. But while I was busy trying
to win her affections,Copy !req
415. I realized I was still in love with her.Copy !req
416. And wrote this nonsense.Copy !req
417. I would've published it, too, but, uh,Copy !req
418. but on Thanksgiving, I
realized that Serena was...Copy !req
419. never gonna take me seriouslyCopy !req
420. unless I could show her
that I wasn't afraid of her,Copy !req
421. that I didn't think she was better than me.Copy !req
422. Bravo.Copy !req
423. You made the right decision.Copy !req
424. Yeah, but she won't speak to me now.Copy !req
425. Let your father...Copy !req
426. serve as a cautionary tale, Daniel.Copy !req
427. He's sitting over there in Brooklyn alone,Copy !req
428. while I'm here married to Lily.Copy !req
429. Serena respects you now,Copy !req
430. even if she doesn't know it.Copy !req
431. You stay the course, she
will come around in time.Copy !req
432. That was the idea, but it's, uh,Copy !req
433. it's taking a little
longer than I expected.Copy !req
434. Well...Copy !req
435. hopefully, you have a few more daysCopy !req
436. until she moves to Los Angeles.Copy !req
437. Los Angeles?Copy !req
438. Chuck!Copy !req
439. Stop! What are you doing?Copy !req
440. I couldn't live with myself
if anything happened to you.Copy !req
441. But I'm fine.Copy !req
442. Because I'm leaving.Copy !req
443. It's a small price to pay for your safety.Copy !req
444. But I don't want to be safe.Copy !req
445. I wanna be with you.Copy !req
446. Come on. Let's go together.
I'll have Dorota send my things.Copy !req
447. Blair, I can't.Copy !req
448. I have to go alone.Copy !req
449. I made a deal. Those
were my father's terms.Copy !req
450. Just have faith in me,Copy !req
451. this one last time.Copy !req
452. But I... I've waited too long.
I need to be with you now.Copy !req
453. Blair, trust me.Copy !req
454. Letting me go is the right thing to do.Copy !req
455. No.Copy !req
456. Don't get on the plane.Copy !req
457. Bart has already hurt so many people.Copy !req
458. I know what my father's capable of,Copy !req
459. but he would never try to kill his own son.Copy !req
460. Then...Copy !req
461. do one thing before you go.Copy !req
462. Kiss me, Chuck Bass.Copy !req
463. I have called you all here because you areCopy !req
464. the most conniving group
of scammers and schemersCopy !req
465. that I know.Copy !req
466. And, Serena, you're my best friend.Copy !req
467. Thanks for clarifying.
I still don't understandCopy !req
468. why Georgina's here, though.Copy !req
469. You can't have an evil cabal
without the queen of con.Copy !req
470. And frankly, I should've
been given more notice.Copy !req
471. You lost your royal status when
I took your phone at cotillion.Copy !req
472. Ha. Phone stealing? Seriously?Copy !req
473. That's the training bra of treachery.Copy !req
474. Enough!Copy !req
475. If I wanted infighting, I
would've called my minions.Copy !req
476. Now I need her here. I need you all hereCopy !req
477. to use your dastardly skills
to take down Bart Bass.Copy !req
478. Yeah, but last time we did
that, Nate ended up in jail.Copy !req
479. Do you want to go back to being the goatCopy !req
480. or lend your impersonation
prowess to my plan?Copy !req
481. Blair, are you sure Chuck would
want you involved in his war?Copy !req
482. It's not his choice.Copy !req
483. Now I want you all to get Bart talking.Copy !req
484. And record him on your phones.Copy !req
485. We'll merge your master manipulations,Copy !req
486. your wanton disregard for authority,Copy !req
487. and your brilliance at playing dumb.Copy !req
488. Bart Bass may be able to fool the FBI,Copy !req
489. but he has never had to face off againstCopy !req
490. Blair Waldorf and her bitches.Copy !req
491. Bart, hey.Copy !req
492. My mom wanted me to tell you
she's so sorry she can't be hereCopy !req
493. to celebrate your accomplishments.Copy !req
494. Well, all...Copy !req
495. all this does seem rather
impressive, doesn't it?Copy !req
496. Yeah.Copy !req
497. Hey, maybe you can show her
the slide show when she returns.Copy !req
498. I'm sure she'd love to see your travels.Copy !req
499. Is everything okay?Copy !req
500. I don't remember approving that slide.Copy !req
501. Well, obviously someone likes it.Copy !req
502. Obviously, there's a glitch in the system.Copy !req
503. If you'll excuse me...Copy !req
504. Have you gotten this evening's program?Copy !req
505. You look even more dashing
in it than you do in person.Copy !req
506. Well, at least they
followed my instructionsCopy !req
507. regarding this part of the presentation.Copy !req
508. Tell me the truth,Copy !req
509. do you trade on your good looks
to get all your adoring donors?Copy !req
510. How did you get Lady
Alexander to give so much,Copy !req
511. and twice on Sundays...Copy !req
512. I bet she really put
you through your paces.Copy !req
513. Did you give this to anyone else?Copy !req
514. No.Copy !req
515. Oh.Copy !req
516. Unless you count everybody here.Copy !req
517. Whatever it is you're trying to pull,Copy !req
518. I'm putting a stop to it.Copy !req
519. Great job on stealing the dead guy's phone.Copy !req
520. Now just keep calling Bart until he cracks.Copy !req
521. I'm gonna start phase two.Copy !req
522. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
523. Serena, there you are.Copy !req
524. Dan. What are you doing here?Copy !req
525. Oh, wait! I forgot.Copy !req
526. You're honoring your new mentor Bart Bass.Copy !req
527. If you'll excuse me, I need
to be anywhere but here.Copy !req
528. Just tell me if you
are really leaving town.Copy !req
529. What do you care? You can just as easilyCopy !req
530. write despicable things about me from afar.Copy !req
531. I know you're mad,Copy !req
532. but that chapter's not the only
thing I've written about you.Copy !req
533. The... the most flattering
things I've written about anyoneCopy !req
534. have been about you, too.Copy !req
535. Oh, okay, that was five years ago.Copy !req
536. Since then, I've beenCopy !req
537. the empty-headed blonde in "Inside,"Copy !req
538. and... and the golden girl with
daddy issues in "Inside Out."Copy !req
539. Your writing changed, and so did you.Copy !req
540. That's no reason to leave
your entire world behind.Copy !req
541. My world turned you from
a person with integrityCopy !req
542. into a cruel satirist.Copy !req
543. I mean, you're worse than gossip girl.Copy !req
544. At least she has a conscience.Copy !req
545. No matter what it looks like,
I'm still on your side, Serena.Copy !req
546. I always have been.Copy !req
547. Yeah, well, excuse me
if I don't wait aroundCopy !req
548. to be disappointed again.Copy !req
549. I'm moving to L.A.Copy !req
550. Just as soon as I'm done
helping Blair with Bart,Copy !req
551. which... you should be doing,
too, but you're on his side.Copy !req
552. Hire more staff if you have to.Copy !req
553. I will not be embarrassed at my own party.Copy !req
554. Okay.Copy !req
555. Excuse me, sir. Would you like a cocktail?Copy !req
556. We have a lovely Sudanese vodka.Copy !req
557. What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
558. Just a waitress trying
to serve you a drink,Copy !req
559. which you look like you could use.Copy !req
560. Lily destroyed what was
inside of this already.Copy !req
561. Hmm. Or did I make copies?Copy !req
562. You never know which one of theseCopy !req
563. has what you're looking for.Copy !req
564. Bart?Copy !req
565. There you are.Copy !req
566. Perhaps you remember my very special guestCopy !req
567. Iman Hassan?Copy !req
568. You did some oil dealings with her father.Copy !req
569. It's lovely to see you, Iman.Copy !req
570. Although I never did any
business with your father.Copy !req
571. We were simply good friends.Copy !req
572. Who shared a love of horses.Copy !req
573. Yes, that's right.Copy !req
574. How is her dear Lady AlexanderCopy !req
575. living out her days at your horse farm?Copy !req
576. Grazing away happily, I should think.Copy !req
577. I know what you did to my horse.Copy !req
578. Did you murder my father, too?Copy !req
579. I loved your father like a brother.Copy !req
580. If you'll excuse us, Iman...Copy !req
581. we need a moment.Copy !req
582. Oh. Tell security where I am.Copy !req
583. I wouldn't want to go mysteriously missing.Copy !req
584. I know what you're trying to doingCopy !req
585. with the envelopes and
the phony phone calls.Copy !req
586. I've seen "a Christmas Carol."Copy !req
587. The classic taleCopy !req
588. of misdeeds haunting a
man who didn't remedy them.Copy !req
589. You know, I've always felt that
scrooge was unfairly maligned.Copy !req
590. He simply expected
people to act like adults.Copy !req
591. And in other news...Copy !req
592. There is no Santa Claus, Ms. Waldorf.Copy !req
593. Owned and operated by Bass Industries.Copy !req
594. The G2 was reported missing
off the coast of Maine.Copy !req
595. Wait. Turn that up.Copy !req
596. Sure.Copy !req
597. The coast guard is investigating the areaCopy !req
598. where the plane went off the radarCopy !req
599. after sending a mayday signal.Copy !req
600. Oh, no.Copy !req
601. I hope that wasn't the one Chuck was on.Copy !req
602. At present, there was no
communication from the plane.Copy !req
603. A search and rescue operation
is currently underwayCopy !req
604. to identify victims.Copy !req
605. Good evening. My name is Jason Pomeranc,Copy !req
606. and I'm the chairman and
founder of Thompson Hotels.Copy !req
607. I'd like to take this
opportunity to welcome you allCopy !req
608. to New York real estate's
man of the year award.Copy !req
609. That's my cue.Copy !req
610. The exact number of
passengers aboard the planeCopy !req
611. is still uncertain.Copy !req
612. We'll bring you more informationCopy !req
613. as it becomes available.Copy !req
614. And in other news...Copy !req
615. Bart Bass has been a boon
to Manhattan's skyline.Copy !req
616. To truly introduce him properly,Copy !req
617. it's my honor to presentCopy !req
618. the number one chronicler
of Manhattan's elite...Copy !req
619. Mr. Daniel Humphrey.Copy !req
620. I would like to introduceCopy !req
621. an icon of New York real estate
and a pillar of our community.Copy !req
622. He is the center of the Bass familyCopy !req
623. and he's a personal inspiration to me.Copy !req
624. Please welcome Charles Bass.Copy !req
625. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
626. My father is being honored
here as a humanitarian,Copy !req
627. but the last time I checked,Copy !req
628. humanitarians value human life...Copy !req
629. and he just tried to
have his own son killed.Copy !req
630. Isn't that why you look so surprised?Copy !req
631. You put me on that plane to die?Copy !req
632. Looks like Chuck found the
emergency exit at 10,000 feet.Copy !req
633. Let's hope he can avoid
going six feet under... again.Copy !req
634. I would like to apologize
for my son's outburst.Copy !req
635. As many of you here know,Copy !req
636. he has long struggled with substance abuse.Copy !req
637. I have already contacted
the Pedowitz Institute,Copy !req
638. and I can only hope that he will acceptCopy !req
639. the help that he so desperately needs.Copy !req
640. Please, let's not let him ruin
this otherwise festive evening.Copy !req
641. Thank you, everybody.Copy !req
642. I overestimated you.Copy !req
643. You're just lucky that
security is getting ChuckCopy !req
644. home to his suite before
he can do any more damage.Copy !req
645. At least you know Chuck's okay.Copy !req
646. I still despise you,Copy !req
647. but thank you for doing
the right thing for once.Copy !req
648. Wait a second. Wait a second.
Do you know where Serena went?Copy !req
649. Why would I tell you, even if I did?Copy !req
650. So you can con her into
falling in love with youCopy !req
651. and humiliate her again?Copy !req
652. No, I was hoping after my speech thatCopy !req
653. maybe she would change her mind
about me and about leaving town.Copy !req
654. I really hope that you're
referring to a vacation spotCopy !req
655. too elite for the likes of you.Copy !req
656. No, I'm talking about L.A., for good.Copy !req
657. I retract everything civil I just said.Copy !req
658. This is all your fault.Copy !req
659. If Serena moves away,Copy !req
660. I will never forgive you, Humphrey.Copy !req
661. I think it's terrific,
and I thank you so much.Copy !req
662. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.Copy !req
663. Let me guess.Copy !req
664. Prison overcrowding,Copy !req
665. or did they let the both
of you out on good behavior?Copy !req
666. My son never should've been
behind bars in the first place.Copy !req
667. But look at how the two
of you have bonded over it,Copy !req
668. so you're welcome.Copy !req
669. Okay, you've had your fun.Copy !req
670. Now what will it takeCopy !req
671. for you to get your
name off my loan documentCopy !req
672. so I can own my paper again?Copy !req
673. See, that's the problem
with this generation.Copy !req
674. They're so entitled. They
don't even say "please."Copy !req
675. Nate worked his ass
off to build that paper.Copy !req
676. He never asked you to cosign for himCopy !req
677. and he's not asking for charity now.Copy !req
678. We'll pay whatever it's worth.Copy !req
679. A million dollars.Copy !req
680. Done.Copy !req
681. I'm kidding. It's not for sale.Copy !req
682. The amount of enjoyment I plan
on getting watching Nate squirm?Copy !req
683. Priceless.Copy !req
684. Come on, Bart.Copy !req
685. Don't do this to my kid.Copy !req
686. Enjoy yourselves tonight, Archibalds.Copy !req
687. Drinks are on me.Copy !req
688. Please tell me that you are heading homeCopy !req
689. to get a good night's
sleep after a trying dayCopy !req
690. and not picking up your bags
and going to the airport.Copy !req
691. I'm sorry, Blair. You know
I'm terrible at good-byes.Copy !req
692. Well, I won't let you say one now.Copy !req
693. I know that things are bad,Copy !req
694. but they're never as bad as you think.Copy !req
695. You were the one who taught me that.Copy !req
696. Do you remember junior year,Copy !req
697. when I was standing out on that helipad,Copy !req
698. ready to flee to EuropeCopy !req
699. after my "who's the
daddy?" pregnancy scandal?Copy !req
700. And you weren't even pregnant.Copy !req
701. You know, we can laugh
about it now because...Copy !req
702. you didn't let me go.Copy !req
703. You told me that the scandal always passes,Copy !req
704. and so will Dan's expose.Copy !req
705. Not as long as I live here.Copy !req
706. In Los Angeles, no one cares
if I date the wrong guy.Copy !req
707. I mean, they don't care
about anything I do.Copy !req
708. I have the chance to reinvent myself.Copy !req
709. Reinvention is for
starlets from trailer parksCopy !req
710. who want to be you.Copy !req
711. Seriously, do you knowCopy !req
712. how few friendships make
it out of high school?Copy !req
713. We finally got to the good
part. You can't leave now.Copy !req
714. But you were the one that saidCopy !req
715. we're better when we
have our own territories.Copy !req
716. Remember Paris? Right bank, left bank?Copy !req
717. Well, then move to the West Side
and we'll meet in Central Park!Copy !req
718. And when we do,Copy !req
719. there will be enough light
for both of us to shine.Copy !req
720. Yeah, but I'd still be
living in my own shadow.Copy !req
721. I have to go.Copy !req
722. But...Copy !req
723. there's no Sarabeth's in L.A.Copy !req
724. Or serendipity.Copy !req
725. Or me.Copy !req
726. Please just think about it.Copy !req
727. Leave a message, and I'll listen to it.Copy !req
728. Hey, it's me. Why aren't
you answering your phone?Copy !req
729. Thank you for waiting.Copy !req
730. I had no choice. Your guards locked me out.Copy !req
731. I wanted for us to have a
chance to talk privately.Copy !req
732. You know, I knew you
were cold and ruthless,Copy !req
733. but I never thought you'd
try to kill your own son.Copy !req
734. We had a deal.Copy !req
735. Your friend is out of jail.Copy !req
736. You were supposed to
be on a plane to Russia.Copy !req
737. You never intended for
me to make it to Moscow.Copy !req
738. You arranged for the pilot
to parachute to safetyCopy !req
739. while I was left to die on the plane.Copy !req
740. You have always hadCopy !req
741. a wonderfully vivid imagination.Copy !req
742. But I warned you earlier...Copy !req
743. accidents can happen.Copy !req
744. We should work together more often.Copy !req
745. I'm just over coddling creative types.Copy !req
746. There's a whole untapped
niche in schemers for hire.Copy !req
747. Have you seen Chuck?Copy !req
748. Bart said that security took him home,Copy !req
749. but I called Nate.Copy !req
750. Chuck's not there and he's
not answering his phone.Copy !req
751. Well, he's here somewhere.
He hasn't left the building.Copy !req
752. How do you know?Copy !req
753. The security guards at the exits
are under strict instructionsCopy !req
754. to inform us of all Bass departures.Copy !req
755. I have my ways of insuring their loyalty.Copy !req
756. Where's Bart?Copy !req
757. Last time I saw him, he
was getting on the elevator.Copy !req
758. All I've been trying to do for
the past two years is just...Copy !req
759. build something that I can be proud of.Copy !req
760. Instead, I lost it,Copy !req
761. and my reputation and...Copy !req
762. most of my trust fund.Copy !req
763. Sorry I wasn't there for you sooner, son.Copy !req
764. Just never wanted you to end up like me.Copy !req
765. Hey.Copy !req
766. You didn't end up so bad.Copy !req
767. Whatever you decide to
set your mind to next,Copy !req
768. I know you can achieve it.Copy !req
769. Thanks, dad.Copy !req
770. Hey.Copy !req
771. Hi.Copy !req
772. Your dad's right, you know.Copy !req
773. You can start over.Copy !req
774. When I first met you,Copy !req
775. you had the perfect story
to get New York's attention.Copy !req
776. What, Gossip Girl's identity?Copy !req
777. I promised her I'd stop lookingCopy !req
778. after she helped find Serena.Copy !req
779. Who knew she was perfectly fine.Copy !req
780. She set you up to protect herself.Copy !req
781. What do you have to loseCopy !req
782. by going through your
research one more time?Copy !req
783. Nothing anymore.Copy !req
784. In fact, I, uh...Copy !req
785. I brought it homeCopy !req
786. so that no one at "The
Spectator" would find it.Copy !req
787. Oh!Copy !req
788. Garcon, where are the stairs?Copy !req
789. The elevators are taking forever.Copy !req
790. What are you doing here?
And with a suitcase?Copy !req
791. I got an apartment in the building.Copy !req
792. What?Copy !req
793. I finally realized where I wanna be,Copy !req
794. and it's here, where you are.Copy !req
795. Where I used to be.Copy !req
796. I have no interest in being
anywhere around here anymore.Copy !req
797. I don't believe that.Copy !req
798. You run away to... to Spain,Copy !req
799. upstate, boarding school, Santorini.Copy !req
800. You always come back.Copy !req
801. Well, that was then.Copy !req
802. That was before I knewCopy !req
803. what this place could do to people,Copy !req
804. before I saw it turn you into Bart Bass.Copy !req
805. I'm not Bart.Copy !req
806. But what's wrong with
wanting power? You have it.Copy !req
807. Maybe if you stopped hating
it, you'd stop hating yourself.Copy !req
808. Then you can finally be happy
where... where you belong.Copy !req
809. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
810. I have no interest in being psychoanalyzedCopy !req
811. by my evil biographer.Copy !req
812. Serena, I know I've hurt
you, but I still love you.Copy !req
813. I've lost track of it at times.Copy !req
814. I've made mistakes...Copy !req
815. I've made massive,
heartbreaking mistakes...Copy !req
816. but I've never stopped loving you.Copy !req
817. Well, excuse me if I don't fall
for that, or you, ever again.Copy !req
818. Please, just...Copy !req
819. if you come upstairs for a second,Copy !req
820. I have something I can
show you that'll prove it.Copy !req
821. I've seen all I need to see.Copy !req
822. I have a plane waiting.Copy !req
823. Tell me...Copy !req
824. did you try to have me killedCopy !req
825. because you hate me so muchCopy !req
826. or because I know too much?Copy !req
827. You know, no matter how hard I have triedCopy !req
828. to turn you into a man,Copy !req
829. it still remains the one
big failure of my life.Copy !req
830. You're not a man.Copy !req
831. A man accepts responsibility
for his actions.Copy !req
832. A man takes care of his family.Copy !req
833. A man doesn't pay a
mother to abandon her childCopy !req
834. and then tell that
child his mother is dead.Copy !req
835. A man doesn't try to
have his own son killed!Copy !req
836. But you can tell the police
what kind of a man you are.Copy !req
837. Your naivete is adorable.Copy !req
838. Even if I didn't haveCopy !req
839. the police commissioner in my pocket,Copy !req
840. who do you think they're gonna believe?Copy !req
841. Huh?Copy !req
842. The man of the year...Copy !req
843. or some sad,Copy !req
844. pathetic,Copy !req
845. little boy?Copy !req
846. Uhh!Copy !req
847. Aah!Copy !req
848. Aah!Copy !req
849. Chuck...Copy !req
850. give me your hand!Copy !req
851. You know I'm all talk! I
would never really hurt you!Copy !req
852. Everything you say is a lie!Copy !req
853. Charles,Copy !req
854. this isn't who you are.Copy !req
855. Please, son!Copy !req
856. Aah!Copy !req
857. Come on. We have to get out of here.Copy !req