1. Gossip Girl here,Copy !req
2. your one and only source,Copy !req
3. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.Copy !req
4. Dan's serial is continuing in Vanity Fair.Copy !req
5. Dan, we had a deal!Copy !req
6. Vanity Fair is the big time.
And the more readers I haveCopy !req
7. the more power I have. It's that simple.Copy !req
8. Dan wrote the truth.Copy !req
9. We are together.Copy !req
10. And I want you,Copy !req
11. by my side,Copy !req
12. here, and at the gallery opening.Copy !req
13. Are you Dan Humphrey?Copy !req
14. I am.Copy !req
15. I read your piece in "The Spectator" today.Copy !req
16. Can I buy you a drink?Copy !req
17. Absolutely.Copy !req
18. Did this really happen? You and Serena?Copy !req
19. Every dirty detail, exactly as it occurred.Copy !req
20. She said she erased it, but
did you actually see her do it?Copy !req
21. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
22. You had someone who
loved you unconditionally,Copy !req
23. and you threw that all awayCopy !req
24. to let Chuck Bass decide
when he's ready for you?Copy !req
25. I just have a few questions about a weekendCopy !req
26. you spent with Bart in
Dubai about four years ago.Copy !req
27. Dave drove Bart to meet
someone named lady Alexander.Copy !req
28. I don't know who she is or even
where to start looking for her.Copy !req
29. We will find her.Copy !req
30. And who am I?Copy !req
31. That's a secret I'll never tell.Copy !req
32. You know you love me.Copy !req
33. X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.Copy !req
34. Extra,
extra, read all about it...Copy !req
35. the latest upper east
sider to take center stageCopy !req
36. in the social spotlight.Copy !req
37. But you know what they say?Copy !req
38. If you can't take the heat,
then move to Hell's Kitchen.Copy !req
39. "Nate Archibald has the
opposite of the Midas touch.Copy !req
40. Instead of everything he
touches turning to gold,Copy !req
41. he turns all the gold
he's been given to dust."Copy !req
42. Your friend's poor, right?Copy !req
43. I mean, he's probably just jealous.Copy !req
44. Oh, first of all, Dan screwed me overCopy !req
45. by selling the
serialization of his new bookCopy !req
46. right out from under me,Copy !req
47. and then he releases the chapter about me.Copy !req
48. You look really hot in the picture.Copy !req
49. Who cares what it says?Copy !req
50. He's saying thatCopy !req
51. I'm single-handedly
destroying "The Spectator."Copy !req
52. Okay, enough. This Dan guy is full of it.Copy !req
53. No, actually, if he was making stuff up,Copy !req
54. you know, I'd be mad, but I'd get over it.Copy !req
55. Thing is, he's right.Copy !req
56. "The Spectator" is
in serious financial trouble,Copy !req
57. and it's all my fault.Copy !req
58. It's why I'm meeting
with the bank later todayCopy !req
59. to hopefully extend our credit line.Copy !req
60. Can I help? Please.Copy !req
61. I am dying for an excuse to skip brunchCopy !req
62. with my dad and Serena Van Der Floozy.Copy !req
63. No, that's nice, but
you should go to brunch,Copy !req
64. and you should be nice
to Serena, all right?Copy !req
65. She's the one who convinced your dadCopy !req
66. to let us keep dating, all
right? Give her a chance.Copy !req
67. Your article on NateCopy !req
68. is generating major online buzz.Copy !req
69. Huffpo has a link on their main page,Copy !req
70. and Dwight Garner just tweeted about it,Copy !req
71. saying that he's halfway
through and doesn't hate it yet.Copy !req
72. Even "Gossip Girl" gave us a nice plug.Copy !req
73. Overall, the reaction's been positive...Copy !req
74. for you, that is. Not for Nate.Copy !req
75. Are they talking about
how the use of real namesCopy !req
76. makes this my "In cold blood"?Copy !req
77. I mean, do they like the writing?Copy !req
78. Are they making any comparisons
to historical literary figures?Copy !req
79. Perez Hilton. But the important thingCopy !req
80. is that they're talking about it.Copy !req
81. Literary celebrity is fleeting.Copy !req
82. We have to make the most of it.Copy !req
83. Trust me. I have been.Copy !req
84. I am not talking about trolling
for lit groupies at McNally'sCopy !req
85. and sleeping with your coffee dates.Copy !req
86. Well, that's how I'm finding
a bed to sleep in every night.Copy !req
87. Look, being a writer in 2012Copy !req
88. isn't merely about the
words that you write.Copy !req
89. It's about your image.Copy !req
90. So from now on, you're only
going to be seen with girlsCopy !req
91. who have Ivy League pedigrees,
or, at the very least, Vassar.Copy !req
92. She needs to have cover girl looksCopy !req
93. and at least three mentions in "Page Six"Copy !req
94. in the last six months.Copy !req
95. How exactly am I gonna do that?Copy !req
96. I've already set up the interviews.Copy !req
97. This is the guy my daughter's dating?Copy !req
98. Have you read this article on Nate?Copy !req
99. Oh, I'm not a fan of the
author's previous work.Copy !req
100. Well, let me summarize for you.Copy !req
101. His last girlfriend was a madam.Copy !req
102. Before that, he dated
con artists with an "S"Copy !req
103. because, yes, there was more than one.Copy !req
104. Your friend Dan wrote all this?Copy !req
105. Dan Humphrey's a douche.Copy !req
106. Well, you can forget about dating
the guy in this article ever again.Copy !req
107. That's fine by me.Copy !req
108. Nate is nothing like
the guy in that article.Copy !req
109. Well, I don't know what Dan
wrote, but I can vouch for Nate.Copy !req
110. He's kind and honest and a good friend.Copy !req
111. And... and he cares about Sage a lot.Copy !req
112. You should get to know
him before you judge him.Copy !req
113. Or at least before you hit him again.Copy !req
114. Dad, can he come to the horse show with us?Copy !req
115. This afternoon?Copy !req
116. No, that's always been our thing.Copy !req
117. Oh, come on. You hate it, and you know it.Copy !req
118. It'll give you someone to talk
about football with instead.Copy !req
119. Nate loves football.Copy !req
120. See? Look, we're already
finding things to bond over.Copy !req
121. Oh, I guess he can join us.Copy !req
122. It'll give me a chance to talk to him.Copy !req
123. Possibly threaten his life.Copy !req
124. I'll see if he can come.Copy !req
125. Thanks, dad.Copy !req
126. You, too, Serena.Copy !req
127. Did you see that?Copy !req
128. She almost smiled at me.Copy !req
129. Hmm.Copy !req
130. And don't worry about Nate.
You'll really like him.Copy !req
131. He's the best.Copy !req
132. Well, you would know.
When were you gonna tell meCopy !req
133. you've had sex with my
daughter's boyfriend?Copy !req
134. Okay.Copy !req
135. This is definitely a... a fire hazard.Copy !req
136. I think it's time to unpack
the boxes Lily sent over.Copy !req
137. Sorry, I've been so busy
with this new gallery opening.Copy !req
138. I'm actually headed over there now.Copy !req
139. Don't take this the wrong way,Copy !req
140. but maybe you're using
the gallery as an excuseCopy !req
141. to avoid going through your old life.Copy !req
142. Oh, that's ridiculous.Copy !req
143. Is it?Copy !req
144. These boxes are full of stuff
from your time with Lily,Copy !req
145. and I can see how revisiting those memoriesCopy !req
146. could be difficult.Copy !req
147. Look, let me help. I will unpack the boxes,Copy !req
148. and when you come back, they'll be gone.Copy !req
149. That would be nice.Copy !req
150. Keep the things that we
can use around the loftCopy !req
151. and just throw everything else out.Copy !req
152. Gosh.Copy !req
153. "May 17, 2008.Copy !req
154. Dear Rufus, last night was
the best night of my life"Copy !req
155. It's kind of a
big deal not to mention.Copy !req
156. I wasn't trying to hide my past with Nate.Copy !req
157. I swear it was a long time ago.Copy !req
158. We're just friends now, and besides,Copy !req
159. when is something like
that supposed to come up?Copy !req
160. I don't know.Copy !req
161. Maybe the second he
started dating my daughter?Copy !req
162. Sage knows, and she doesn't care.Copy !req
163. I don't see what the big deal is.Copy !req
164. I don't know everyone
that you've been with.Copy !req
165. You're right.Copy !req
166. We both have pasts,Copy !req
167. but mine's not about to be
chronicled in a magazine.Copy !req
168. There's bound to be a
Serena chapter soon, right?Copy !req
169. Maybe it's time we have the conversation...Copy !req
170. Discuss everyone we've been wit to avoidCopy !req
171. any more embarrassing surprises
in print or at parties.Copy !req
172. Everyone?Copy !req
173. Well, within reason.Copy !req
174. Second base and beyond.Copy !req
175. Kissing doesn't count.Copy !req
176. I think it's a great idea.Copy !req
177. I just have to run an errand first.Copy !req
178. When you get back then.Copy !req
179. That Eleanor again?Copy !req
180. Debriefing my mother on
Waldorf Designs can wait.Copy !req
181. She knows I have no buyers,Copy !req
182. and she's just calling to yell at me.Copy !req
183. Besides, I have much more
pressing business to attend to,Copy !req
184. like finding Lady Alexander,Copy !req
185. whoever and wherever she may be.Copy !req
186. Now I've gone through
the peerage registriesCopy !req
187. of all the royals in Western Europe,Copy !req
188. and the closest I could find
was a Lady Alexandria of Lisbon,Copy !req
189. but she died 50 years ago in
a Portuguese mental hospital.Copy !req
190. I am starting to think my fatherCopy !req
191. had his bodyguard feed us bad intel.Copy !req
192. That is in Bart's playbook,Copy !req
193. but I'm having one of
those psychic hunches I get,Copy !req
194. like when I predicted tom
and Katie wouldn't last.Copy !req
195. You didn't have to be
psychic to call that one.Copy !req
196. I know this may be a little crazy.Copy !req
197. My mother has a friend called Lady Vaughn,Copy !req
198. only "Lady" isn't her title. It's her name.Copy !req
199. She literally changed it
to sound more importantCopy !req
200. so she could sit on the
boards of all the big museums,Copy !req
201. and it worked.Copy !req
202. Maybe Lady Alexander did the same.Copy !req
203. There she is.Copy !req
204. Lady Alexander.Copy !req
205. But it says she's not on the board.Copy !req
206. It's a portrait in a private showing.Copy !req
207. By the artist Brian Batt.Copy !req
208. I know him! I mean, I... I know his work.Copy !req
209. He has a studio downtown.Copy !req
210. I always wanted to
commission a portrait of you.Copy !req
211. Hmm.Copy !req
212. What's wrong? The eggs overcooked again?Copy !req
213. No. Well, actually, yes,Copy !req
214. but that's not what's so upsetting.Copy !req
215. Eric just texted me from Sarah LawrenceCopy !req
216. telling me I was on "Gossip Girl".Copy !req
217. This is about our wedding?Copy !req
218. No, the night before,
when I slept with Rufus.Copy !req
219. That's old news.Copy !req
220. I have no idea why I'm
suddenly on the radarCopy !req
221. of this childish blog.Copy !req
222. I think it's fairly
obvious what kind of childCopy !req
223. would be putting out such stories.Copy !req
224. Charles?Copy !req
225. No, he would never.Copy !req
226. He shipped a woman in from DubaiCopy !req
227. to drive a wedge in between us.Copy !req
228. I'm sorry he keeps
dragging you into our fight.Copy !req
229. Well, maybe that's why he
hasn't returned my calls.Copy !req
230. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
231. Okay.Copy !req
232. I love how you combine
the classic portraitureCopy !req
233. with pop culture,Copy !req
234. but we really came to see your
portrait of Lady Alexander.Copy !req
235. Friends of ours saw it in
your private show at the MET,Copy !req
236. and they suggest we mimic the style.Copy !req
237. I wanna do the exact same pose.Copy !req
238. I think you've got the wrong guy.Copy !req
239. I don't do that sort of thing.Copy !req
240. Obviously, we wouldn't want to compromiseCopy !req
241. your artistic integrity by
recreating someone else's pose.Copy !req
242. Unless it's okay with her.Copy !req
243. And we tripled your fee.Copy !req
244. I don't mind calling Lady Alexander myself.Copy !req
245. See, I generally don't
take no for an answer.Copy !req
246. So if you'd simply
provide a phone number...Copy !req
247. Looks like Chuck's Midas
touch is still intact.Copy !req
248. I really hope we're not talking
about the same Lady Alexander.Copy !req
249. Here she is.Copy !req
250. But a horse by any other
name is still a horse.Copy !req
251. And Chuck and Blair
can't seem to buy a clue.Copy !req
252. Assuming that Lady Alexander
isn't related to Mr. Ed,Copy !req
253. it appears we've hit another dead end.Copy !req
254. Well, not exactly.Copy !req
255. Thoroughbred registries
have all the important infoCopy !req
256. on every sale, such as
prices and previous owners.Copy !req
257. It's like M.L.S. for horses.Copy !req
258. So find the horse, find the owner.Copy !req
259. Here she is... Lady Alexander.Copy !req
260. It says she was bought four years agoCopy !req
261. by Bartholomew Bass.Copy !req
262. What else does it say?Copy !req
263. Well, not much except she
was just under $1 million.Copy !req
264. Is that a lot of money?Copy !req
265. For regular people, yes.Copy !req
266. I meant for a horse.Copy !req
267. I didn't realize your father
was such a horse enthusiast.Copy !req
268. He's not.Copy !req
269. Well, then...Copy !req
270. Why did he buy a dozen
thoroughbreds in a single month?Copy !req
271. Let me see that.Copy !req
272. It says here he bought them
all from the same man in Dubai.Copy !req
273. I don't recognize the name,Copy !req
274. and I've been through
the Bass Industries booksCopy !req
275. with a fine-toothed comb.Copy !req
276. Maybe your father's secret is
that he's just into horses...Copy !req
277. really, really expensive horses.Copy !req
278. I doubt he'd pay off Amira for that.Copy !req
279. I need to find Sheikh Hassan.Copy !req
280. There is a big 3-day horse show going onCopy !req
281. just outside the city right now.Copy !req
282. I saw it on one of the registries.Copy !req
283. It... it attracts an
elite international crowd.Copy !req
284. Maybe if the Sheikh isn't there himself,Copy !req
285. he has people there for him?Copy !req
286. Looks like we're back in the saddle.Copy !req
287. You... you have a house
in the Hamptons, too?Copy !req
288. And in Aspen and in St. Barth's, too.Copy !req
289. Sorry. Tiffany. Time's up.
Don't call us. We'll call you.Copy !req
290. Okay, you both know the drill.Copy !req
291. Skip the small talk and
get down to business.Copy !req
292. You have five minutes.Copy !req
293. Serena.Copy !req
294. Are you here to interview for the position?Copy !req
295. I'm sorry. Do you work here now?Copy !req
296. As if.Copy !req
297. I'm pimping out celebutantes
for Dan to have sex with.Copy !req
298. If you're interested,
you can, uh, get in line.Copy !req
299. Uh, Dan told me to meet him
here. I'll just be two minutes.Copy !req
300. That's fine,Copy !req
301. but I'm going to have to
ask you to leave your bag.Copy !req
302. We can't risk any
unauthorized recording devices.Copy !req
303. His words are worth too much.Copy !req
304. No, the bank has all my paperwork, okay?Copy !req
305. And you've seen the
numbers, and they're good.Copy !req
306. No, I... I get that there's a lot of moneyCopy !req
307. going out the door each month, okay?Copy !req
308. But just, with a little more time,Copy !req
309. I know I can turn things around.Copy !req
310. I understand. Thank you.Copy !req
311. Who let you in here?Copy !req
312. That article this morning
was unfairly biased.Copy !req
313. It's my job to report on
other people's business.Copy !req
314. I'd be a hypocrite to get upset about it.Copy !req
315. Plus, "The Spectator" just got pluggedCopy !req
316. in a popular national magazine.Copy !req
317. The glass is half full approach, huh?Copy !req
318. Yeah.Copy !req
319. I know your paper is in trouble.Copy !req
320. I also know that you are a lot smarterCopy !req
321. than that article makes you out to be.Copy !req
322. So I am here to offer you some relief.Copy !req
323. Let's talk.Copy !req
324. So what's so important you
had to see me in person?Copy !req
325. And allow Georgina to frisk you?Copy !req
326. I... I need to know, did
you write a chapter about me?Copy !req
327. Of course I did.Copy !req
328. You really think my father
or Nate are more interestingCopy !req
329. than the infamous Serena Van Der Woodsen?Copy !req
330. Okay, but I need to know what's
in it and when it comes out.Copy !req
331. Well, that would ruin all the fun.Copy !req
332. Dan, I'm serious.Copy !req
333. Did you write about that nightCopy !req
334. that we were together at
the Campbell apartment?Copy !req
335. Relax. I didn't
publish any of that.Copy !req
336. But not to protect you.Copy !req
337. Um, because it was the
most humiliating thingCopy !req
338. I've ever been a part of. But don't worry.Copy !req
339. There's... there's gonna be
some good stuff in your chapter.Copy !req
340. I think I might even
include a little tidbitCopy !req
341. of this desperate conversation.Copy !req
342. Wow, I... I can't believeCopy !req
343. I ever loved someone who could writeCopy !req
344. such awful things about
his friends and family.Copy !req
345. Right, 'cause you were
thinking about my feelingsCopy !req
346. when you made that sex tape.Copy !req
347. You know what?Copy !req
348. The worst part is you actually
seem to be enjoying it.Copy !req
349. Serena, wait a second. Wait.Copy !req
350. On your way out, just let Georgina knowCopy !req
351. that I gotta take a bathroom break.Copy !req
352. Thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
353. Uh, Dan says have the next
girl meet him in the bathroom.Copy !req
354. Mmm. That's more like it.Copy !req
355. Hey. I just finished my errand.
Yeah, I got everything I needed.Copy !req
356. So... you back "The Spectator,"Copy !req
357. and I put out fluff pieces on you and LilyCopy !req
358. to offset her bad press on "Gossip Girl"?Copy !req
359. I know you did well with
that article on Rufus,Copy !req
360. and mature readers help broaden your demo.Copy !req
361. You will have the extra cash you need.Copy !req
362. And as for me,Copy !req
363. a happy wife is a happy life.Copy !req
364. Hmm.Copy !req
365. Next thing I know,Copy !req
366. you'll be asking me to write bad
press on Chuck, huh?Copy !req
367. I'm not looking for
another partner. I'm sorry.Copy !req
368. I'm gonna handle this one on my own.Copy !req
369. I have no doubt you will succeed,Copy !req
370. especially if you've inherited
your father's gift with numbers.Copy !req
371. He was always so...Copy !req
372. inventive.Copy !req
373. Hey, it's Nate.Copy !req
374. Listen, I have a business
proposition for you.Copy !req
375. Well... at least I know
your phone is working.Copy !req
376. What I don't know is why
you're avoiding my calls.Copy !req
377. It's nothing personal.Copy !req
378. As you know, I've been avoiding my father.Copy !req
379. And, well, you're married to him.Copy !req
380. Does that mean you're behind the
stories about me on "Gossip Girl"?Copy !req
381. Is that what he told you?Copy !req
382. I hope you know I would never
do something like that to you.Copy !req
383. Well, I needed to hear it from you.Copy !req
384. I also need for you to end
this feud with your father.Copy !req
385. I love both of you,Copy !req
386. and I can't stand to be in the
middle of it a second longer.Copy !req
387. I appreciate your desire
to bring us back together,Copy !req
388. but we were never close to begin with.Copy !req
389. The man's idea of father/son bondingCopy !req
390. was teaching me how to diversify bonds.Copy !req
391. It's always been business between us.Copy !req
392. Well, I got us tickets to the horse show,Copy !req
393. but it starts in an hour,Copy !req
394. so...Copy !req
395. Oh. Hello, Lily.Copy !req
396. Oh, well, you don't mean the
one at the Stone Orchard stables?Copy !req
397. It is. I... I don't...Copy !req
398. Chuck?Copy !req
399. Oh, I haven't been in
years. It's a fabulous event.Copy !req
400. And a wonderful opportunity,
Charles, for you and your fatherCopy !req
401. to talk about something other than businessCopy !req
402. and start to make amends. I'm
gonna see if he's available.Copy !req
403. Oh, please. No, don't tell
him. This should be a surprise.Copy !req
404. Well, that was fast.Copy !req
405. So... what's this big business opportunityCopy !req
406. you mentioned on the phone?Copy !req
407. Mind if I come in?Copy !req
408. Looks like Chuck and
Blair aren't the only onesCopy !req
409. with a surprise visitor.Copy !req
410. So much for Golden Boy going it alone.Copy !req
411. So what's with all the boxes?Copy !req
412. Are you moving in, or is Rufus moving out?Copy !req
413. It's Rufus' stuff from Lily's.Copy !req
414. I know you released the
story about Rufus suing Dan,Copy !req
415. so I figured out you might also be behindCopy !req
416. all the stories about
Lily on "Gossip Girl."Copy !req
417. Ooh.Copy !req
418. Well, now I know where
you got all the ammo from.Copy !req
419. Lily acts so high and mighty,Copy !req
420. but look at her.Copy !req
421. She's been married a dozen times,Copy !req
422. she's had countless affairs, a secret kid,Copy !req
423. she's even spent time under house arrest,Copy !req
424. but never pays the price.Copy !req
425. And why should Rufus sufferCopy !req
426. while Lily's reputation remains unscathed?Copy !req
427. I agree.Copy !req
428. You do?Copy !req
429. But Lily's friends
don't read "Gossip Girl."Copy !req
430. So you should put the stories
out on "The Spectator."Copy !req
431. I can see why you don't feel
like socializing with your father,Copy !req
432. but why would you insist
on keeping your attendanceCopy !req
433. at an equestrian event a secret?Copy !req
434. I could care less about the horses.Copy !req
435. I'm looking at the propertyCopy !req
436. as long as my father and I are bothCopy !req
437. in the real estate game in New York,Copy !req
438. there will never be peace in our family.Copy !req
439. Stone Orchard is for sale?Copy !req
440. Uh-huh.Copy !req
441. Oh, my God. What a shame.Copy !req
442. It's been in the same
family for two centuries.Copy !req
443. Well, I heard they lost a
fortune in Facebook stock.Copy !req
444. I'm just exploring the possibility,Copy !req
445. and I don't want Bart to knowCopy !req
446. until it's real.Copy !req
447. This is fantastic, Charles.Copy !req
448. Good for you!Copy !req
449. I am so proud of you for
thinking outside of the box,Copy !req
450. and outside of Manhattan.Copy !req
451. I know the place quite well.Copy !req
452. I actually put my horses thereCopy !req
453. when we first moved back out east. And...Copy !req
454. I mean, I could show you around?Copy !req
455. I promise, not a word
of this to your father.Copy !req
456. Ooh. Well, then there was Ben,Copy !req
457. who, contrary to some forged documents,Copy !req
458. I didn't sleep with when I was 15.Copy !req
459. Not until after he got out of prison,Copy !req
460. and that was the last
guy I was with before you.Copy !req
461. You said that was a year and a half ago.Copy !req
462. Not even one random hook-up
between the jailbird and me?Copy !req
463. No. I swore off men. I just
wanted to focus on myself.Copy !req
464. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
465. Oh, I know that must be
hard for you to believe,Copy !req
466. since you spent the
entire winter focusing onCopy !req
467. the "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit models.Copy !req
468. Wait, wait. Come on. You
saw that cat daddy video.Copy !req
469. So that's it, then? We're... we're good?Copy !req
470. I feel prepared for anything
that could be published.Copy !req
471. Okay.Copy !req
472. No.Copy !req
473. Just... no.Copy !req
474. Did, uh, Nate get back to
you about the, uh, horse show?Copy !req
475. He's got some work to do.
He's gonna meet us there.Copy !req
476. I'm really glad he's
going. Go easy on him, okay?Copy !req
477. Serena, did you want to come, too?Copy !req
478. I mean, if my dad wants you to.Copy !req
479. Oh. Well, I... I don't want to intrude.Copy !req
480. No. No, no, come.Copy !req
481. You can keep Sage occupied while
I interrogate her boyfriend.Copy !req
482. Bart, dear, I know you're
going to be devastated,Copy !req
483. but I was thinking we
should cancel our dinnerCopy !req
484. with the Kranzlers this evening.Copy !req
485. Gee, that's too bad.Copy !req
486. I was looking forward to
dodging all their questionsCopy !req
487. about my disappearance.Copy !req
488. Well, don't worry. We'll reschedule.Copy !req
489. You needn't bother, Lily.Copy !req
490. What else did you have in mind instead?Copy !req
491. Well, I was suddenly in the
mood for a spa overhaul...Copy !req
492. masSage, facial, nails, the works.Copy !req
493. Are you still upsetCopy !req
494. about Chuck and those
stories on "Gossip Girl"?Copy !req
495. Because I'm planning to stop by The EmpireCopy !req
496. and have a talk with him.Copy !req
497. Oh, I don't think that's necessary.Copy !req
498. I spoke to Charles, and he said
he didn't leak those stories,Copy !req
499. and I believe him.Copy !req
500. So I'll call you when I'm done, okay?Copy !req
501. Sure.Copy !req
502. Thank you for keeping this between us.Copy !req
503. I hate lying,Copy !req
504. but there's no reason
to concern your fatherCopy !req
505. if it helps you with
your plan to make peace.Copy !req
506. Trust me. If he found
out, he'd run everything.Copy !req
507. Sometimes it's best not to callCopy !req
508. in order to avoid being called out later.Copy !req
509. Just smell the
air... so crisp and clean.Copy !req
510. And fertilized.Copy !req
511. You know, there is so much to show you.Copy !req
512. This could take all afternoon.Copy !req
513. Oh! Uh, uh, did you see that
woman over there waving at you?Copy !req
514. Which one?Copy !req
515. The one that looks like Princess Anne.Copy !req
516. She's saying your name and waving.Copy !req
517. Are you sure?Copy !req
518. Ah. Well, maybe I should go say
hello. I don't want to be rude.Copy !req
519. Mm.Copy !req
520. Excuse me.Copy !req
521. Okay, now it's your chance! Go! Run!Copy !req
522. Blair, this isn't a hostage situation.Copy !req
523. I don't even know who to... excuse me.Copy !req
524. Can you tell me ifCopy !req
525. any of Sheikh Hassan's
horses are competing today?Copy !req
526. Mm... just one... Crown
Jewel. She's on the course.Copy !req
527. Thank you.Copy !req
528. Okay, look.Copy !req
529. I'll go and see what I can
find out about Sheikh Hassan.Copy !req
530. If you can keep Lily occupied for a few...Copy !req
531. I got a closer look,
and it is Princess AnneCopy !req
532. with her daughter Zara,Copy !req
533. but are you sure she was waving at me?Copy !req
534. Because we've never actually met before.Copy !req
535. Maybe she was just swatting away mosquitoesCopy !req
536. or airing out her pits.Copy !req
537. Hmm.Copy !req
538. Well, either way, where
should we begin our tour?Copy !req
539. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
540. Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. I...Copy !req
541. No, it's okay. We just got here ourselves.Copy !req
542. Nate, this is my dad. You
remember his fist, right?Copy !req
543. Ah.Copy !req
544. Yeah, sorry about that.Copy !req
545. I've never actually punched anyone before.Copy !req
546. You definitely did a
good job. It hurt, so...Copy !req
547. Hey, do you wanna go check out the horse?Copy !req
548. Yeah. You guys stay and
bond over how great I amCopy !req
549. and how you want me to be happy, okay?Copy !req
550. Great. Bye!Copy !req
551. You know, just so you know,Copy !req
552. I had to... ice my hand all night.Copy !req
553. Probably hurt me more than it you.Copy !req
554. And I should probably tell youCopy !req
555. I am a huge fan of the
business you've built.Copy !req
556. I've been following your
career for forever now. So...Copy !req
557. You're not dating my daughter
just to get to me, are you?Copy !req
558. No, sir. It's just a purely added bonus.Copy !req
559. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
560. You may be dating my daughter,
but I'm dating your ex.Copy !req
561. That cancels out the need for any "sirs."Copy !req
562. Lily, hi!Copy !req
563. Hi!Copy !req
564. It's so nice to see you back at the barn.Copy !req
565. Thank you, Jessica.
Great to see you as well.Copy !req
566. Enjoy the rest of your day.Copy !req
567. Ah! Thank you.Copy !req
568. If you ladies wanna get a drink,Copy !req
569. I think I'll check out the stables.Copy !req
570. Now leaving the course... Crown Jewel,Copy !req
571. owned by Sheikh Hassan,Copy !req
572. ridden by the Sheikh's daughter Iman.Copy !req
573. Oh, I think the stables are this way.Copy !req
574. Actually, Lily...
can we take a little detour?Copy !req
575. for my next line, and I
want you to introduce meCopy !req
576. to those women in the fabulous fascinators.Copy !req
577. Next on the course...Copy !req
578. That is a beautiful horse.Copy !req
579. I'd love to talk to you about buying it.Copy !req
580. So who's it gonna be?Copy !req
581. Personally, I think Melissa
has the better face for photos,Copy !req
582. but Natasha is a Coppola,Copy !req
583. and that does come with a certain cachet.Copy !req
584. Well, I have to choose now?Copy !req
585. Obviously.Copy !req
586. But can't it wait? I mean,
I'm... I'm... I'm exhausted.Copy !req
587. Oh, suck it up, Humphrey.
They have pills for that.Copy !req
588. These girls are perfect.Copy !req
589. They all come from great neighborhoods,Copy !req
590. have very high I. Qs, and
dress in designer labels.Copy !req
591. They meet all of our requirements.Copy !req
592. This just isn't me.Copy !req
593. These girls might be perfect on paper,Copy !req
594. but they're not who I'm looking for.Copy !req
595. Who you're...Copy !req
596. since when are you looking for anybody?Copy !req
597. Don't go soft on me now, Humphrey.Copy !req
598. Finding true love was
never part of our deal.Copy !req
599. I'm sorry you're not selling.Copy !req
600. She's absolutely stunning.Copy !req
601. Thank you.Copy !req
602. My family takes great
pride in our thoroughbreds.Copy !req
603. I know. I've been a big
fan of your family's horsesCopy !req
604. since I was a child.Copy !req
605. There was one in particular
I remember seeing compete.Copy !req
606. I think she was yours. Lady Alexander?Copy !req
607. Lady Alexander
was my childhood horse.Copy !req
608. She was much loved but never
competed a day in her life.Copy !req
609. My father must've loved
her as much as then,Copy !req
610. because he paid a great deal for her.Copy !req
611. Again, you're mistaken.Copy !req
612. She was sold to a family
friend several years agoCopy !req
613. and put to pasture.Copy !req
614. She was worthless to anyone but me.Copy !req
615. Which made her priceless.Copy !req
616. Uncle Bart! So good to see you.Copy !req
617. I see my son is attempting
to work his charms on you.Copy !req
618. Why didn't you tell me
Bart Bass is your father?Copy !req
619. He's like family.Copy !req
620. Our fathers were such good
friends before his accident.Copy !req
621. Speaking of which,Copy !req
622. I was sorry to hear of his recent passing.Copy !req
623. Is that...Copy !req
624. I think that's Serena.Copy !req
625. You know her?Copy !req
626. Uh, yeah. That's my mom.Copy !req
627. Come on. I'll introduce you.Copy !req
628. Grandma.Copy !req
629. Oh, no, no. Don't call her that.Copy !req
630. Yeah, as much as I'd love to stayCopy !req
631. and chat with your charming daughter,Copy !req
632. I have to take this call from my mother.Copy !req
633. Oh, tell Eleanor I said hello.Copy !req
634. Mm.Copy !req
635. Serena, darling, I had no
idea you were coming to this.Copy !req
636. Oh, yeah. It was just
a last-minute decision.Copy !req
637. But I want you to meet
Steven's daughter Sage.Copy !req
638. Hi. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
639. Oh, likewise.Copy !req
640. Um, you're so much...Copy !req
641. more mature than I'd imagined.Copy !req
642. I should probably go
check on my dad and Nate.Copy !req
643. Okay, I'll be right there.Copy !req
644. How old is she?Copy !req
645. Oh, you know what?Copy !req
646. This is probably my fault
that you have a father complex.Copy !req
647. Wait, so you really
played basketball at Duke?Copy !req
648. You're really that gullible?Copy !req
649. No. No, unlike the other
chemical engi-nerds,Copy !req
650. I did watch a few games.Copy !req
651. Hey, some people call it gullible.Copy !req
652. I like to call it trusting.Copy !req
653. It seems like you guys are getting along.Copy !req
654. No black eyes at least.Copy !req
655. No, you were... you were
right about this guy.Copy !req
656. He's trusting, which may have ledCopy !req
657. to some poor business decisions but...Copy !req
658. it makes for good character.Copy !req
659. He reminds me a little
of myself at his age.Copy !req
660. Hey, that means a lot, man. Thanks.Copy !req
661. Okay, I wanted you guys to get along.Copy !req
662. There's no need for a full-on bromance.Copy !req
663. Where's Serena?Copy !req
664. She ran into her mom.Copy !req
665. Wait. Lily's here?Copy !req
666. Do you know if he still wants to have kids?Copy !req
667. I mean, maybe he's done.Copy !req
668. Mother!Copy !req
669. Can we have this
conversation somewhere else?Copy !req
670. People are starting to stare.Copy !req
671. Oh. It's probably another oneCopy !req
672. of those "Gossip Girl" stories about me.Copy !req
673. Oh, I hope it ends soon.Copy !req
674. Oh, no, it's... it's not
a "Gossip Girl" blast.Copy !req
675. It's a "Spectator"
blast... about both of us.Copy !req
676. "Like mother, like daughter.Copy !req
677. They not only share the
same taste in clothingCopy !req
678. but also in men.Copy !req
679. Looks like Steven Spence
put age before beautyCopy !req
680. by sleeping with Lily before Serena"?Copy !req
681. Excuse me.Copy !req
682. Hey, Serena, wait.Copy !req
683. Did you just omit someone
from our conversation?Copy !req
684. Like, I don't know, my mother?Copy !req
685. What... what are you talking about?Copy !req
686. Your love life is the one being
published on "The Spectator."Copy !req
687. I had no idea that the
story was about him, okay?Copy !req
688. I... I gave it to my editor
so I could be here with Sage...Copy !req
689. and get to know Steven.Copy !req
690. Well, thanks to you, we
all know him better now.Copy !req
691. Way to go, Nate. Dad, seriously? Gross.Copy !req
692. Yeah, I... I have no idea why there's a storyCopy !req
693. about me sleeping with your mother.Copy !req
694. It's not true!Copy !req
695. Actually, it is.Copy !req
696. There are two sides to every story,Copy !req
697. with the truth and Serena
stuck smack in the middle.Copy !req
698. I think you're confusing
me with someone else.Copy !req
699. Unfortunately, I'm not.Copy !req
700. Okay, well, one of you is wrong,
and I really hope it's you, mom.Copy !req
701. I know we've met a few times socially,Copy !req
702. you know, through the
Central Park Conservancy.Copy !req
703. And the Bancroft wedding?
The one in the Irish castle.Copy !req
704. We snuck down to the dungeon,Copy !req
705. opened the oldest bottle
of whiskey we could find.Copy !req
706. My last name was Mueller then. Klaus' ex?Copy !req
707. Lily Mueller.Copy !req
708. Oh, my God.Copy !req
709. Oh! So it is true?Copy !req
710. Look, it...Copy !req
711. it was... it... it was
right after my divorce.Copy !req
712. You know, I had gone skiing in Verbier,Copy !req
713. and hurt my knee.Copy !req
714. There were... there were
painkillers and... and whiskeyCopy !req
715. and... oh, wow.Copy !req
716. Is that why you were so cold
to me at Conservancy events?Copy !req
717. I didn't know about the painkillers.Copy !req
718. Yeah.Copy !req
719. But you did know that we were dating.Copy !req
720. Why didn't you say anything?Copy !req
721. What was I supposed to say?Copy !req
722. I... I... you... you told me
that you two were madly in loveCopy !req
723. and that he could be the one.Copy !req
724. Besides...Copy !req
725. I figured Steven should
be the one to tell you.Copy !req
726. Well, I guess this was
one of those surprisesCopy !req
727. we were hoping to avoid.Copy !req
728. This is your final notice.Copy !req
729. In five minutes.Copy !req
730. What the hell do you
think you're doing here,Copy !req
731. talking to Iman?Copy !req
732. Enjoying the horses. Same as you, right?Copy !req
733. Because Lily would hate to
learn that you had me followed.Copy !req
734. You need to stop sticking your
nose in where it doesn't belongCopy !req
735. and leave Lily out of this.Copy !req
736. Do we understand each other?Copy !req
737. I didn't realize you'd
become such an animal lover.Copy !req
738. I have a dog, too.Copy !req
739. I find the company of animals
preferable to some people.Copy !req
740. Another weakness you
didn't inherit from me.Copy !req
741. I pulled the story off the site, okay?Copy !req
742. I got ahold of some old list Lily made.Copy !req
743. You know, the names of everyone
that she had ever slept with.Copy !req
744. I... I swear I didn't know
your dad's name was on it.Copy !req
745. Everything was going so well.Copy !req
746. My dad was really starting to like you.Copy !req
747. I screwed up. I'm sorry.Copy !req
748. I should've vetted the article
before it ever came out.Copy !req
749. What do you have against
Serena's mom anyway?Copy !req
750. Nothing. I don't have anything against her.Copy !req
751. I just...Copy !req
752. it was a... it was a...
it was a desperate moveCopy !req
753. to save my company.Copy !req
754. It was a mistake.Copy !req
755. Well, you decided to do it
on your own for a reason.Copy !req
756. I did, and I think I
know of a way that I canCopy !req
757. without hurting anyone that I care about.Copy !req
758. Hey. I'm sorry.Copy !req
759. Okay? I'm really sorry.Copy !req
760. And I just...Copy !req
761. I don't want to lose "The Spectator."Copy !req
762. Or you.Copy !req
763. I just saw Lily leaving with Bart.Copy !req
764. Did you not tell him you
tracked down the Sheikh?Copy !req
765. Doesn't matter. Sheikh's dead,
and the daughter won't talk.Copy !req
766. She won't? Why not?Copy !req
767. She calls him "Uncle Bart."Copy !req
768. We're done here. Shall we?Copy !req
769. Uh, I'll meet you at the car.Copy !req
770. I need the ladies' room
after all those mint juleps.Copy !req
771. Right.Copy !req
772. Next on the course...Copy !req
773. Owned by the Kelly stables.Copy !req
774. Iman? Hi.Copy !req
775. I'm Blair. I'm a close friend of Chuck's.Copy !req
776. I know he left before
he could speak to you,Copy !req
777. but this is important to him,
and so it's important to me.Copy !req
778. Is this about the horse?Copy !req
779. Because I know Chuck
never really wanted it.Copy !req
780. He was just flirting with me.Copy !req
781. I don't think he was flirting with you.Copy !req
782. Look, I know how much
these horses mean to youCopy !req
783. and meant to your father.Copy !req
784. Unfortunately, they don't
mean that much to Bart.Copy !req
785. He isn't exactly a big donator at P.E.T.A,Copy !req
786. if you know what I mean.Copy !req
787. I'm not sure I do.Copy !req
788. Well, Bart Bass. Killed a tiger on safari?Copy !req
789. He eats veal on a regular basis?Copy !req
790. I don't know about any of that,Copy !req
791. but he was a good friend to my father.Copy !req
792. He bought Lady Alexander and the othersCopy !req
793. so they could live out their
days on a farm in Virginia.Copy !req
794. Okay.Copy !req
795. Listen, Princess Jasmine,Copy !req
796. the fact is, your Uncle Bart is bad.Copy !req
797. I'm sure every single horse
he bought from your familyCopy !req
798. went straight to the glue factory,Copy !req
799. including your beloved Lady Alexander.Copy !req
800. But, if you like, go ahead. Check it out.Copy !req
801. See if you find the Bart Bass
retirement home for aged equines.Copy !req
802. Trust me, Chuck is the good guy here,Copy !req
803. and he needs your help.Copy !req
804. On the Upper East Side, it's
hard to know who to trust.Copy !req
805. Usually, the answer is no one.Copy !req
806. I'm sorry, but it's gonna
take me more than a car rideCopy !req
807. to forget the fact that
you slept with my mother.Copy !req
808. Serena, I can't change what happened.Copy !req
809. I can forget it, obviously,
but I... I can't change it.Copy !req
810. Maybe you can forget, too?Copy !req
811. I don't know if I'll ever
be able to forget this.Copy !req
812. Well, I...Copy !req
813. I guess I can try to move past it.Copy !req
814. I mean, crazier things
have happened in my family.Copy !req
815. Wait, wait, wait. Please, just not so fast.Copy !req
816. There are certain images
that keep popping up.Copy !req
817. Then we must try to erase them.Copy !req
818. I'm warning you. This could take a while.Copy !req
819. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
820. I never thought I'd see you again.Copy !req
821. Care for a drink?Copy !req
822. I can't stay long,Copy !req
823. but I wanted to tell youCopy !req
824. that I looked into what
your friend Blair told me.Copy !req
825. Lady Alexander never went
to any farm in Virginia.Copy !req
826. Blair told you she did?Copy !req
827. No. Bart told me.Copy !req
828. But the horses he purchased from my familyCopy !req
829. are nowhere to be found.Copy !req
830. I'm sorry to hear that.Copy !req
831. Bart obviously didn't
care much about your horsesCopy !req
832. and probably paid your
father a lot of moneyCopy !req
833. for something else.Copy !req
834. Do you know what it was?Copy !req
835. Maybe a... a real estate
deal? Perhaps a hotel?Copy !req
836. A hotel?Copy !req
837. No, my father was in the oil business.Copy !req
838. But Bart couldn't have
been involved in that.Copy !req
839. Why not the oil business?Copy !req
840. Because we have a home in Dubai,
but we're Sudanese nationals.Copy !req
841. I'm sorry. International affairs
are not my area of expertise.Copy !req
842. Well, at least not this kind.Copy !req
843. Well, the U.S. has an embargo
against trading oil with Sudan,Copy !req
844. so if that's what he
bought from my father...Copy !req
845. Bart was breaking federal law.Copy !req
846. Thanks for taking another
look at my loan application.Copy !req
847. I... can't believe
I left out all the revenueCopy !req
848. from the new markets.Copy !req
849. Just a rookie mistake, I guess.Copy !req
850. Well, the numbers do look better,Copy !req
851. and, uh, I'm glad you caught the error,Copy !req
852. because, uh, with ad sales
projections like this...Copy !req
853. we're happy to extend "The
Spectator's" line of credit.Copy !req
854. Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver.Copy !req
855. Now let me just go make you
a copy of this real quick.Copy !req
856. I'll be right back.Copy !req
857. How did it go?Copy !req
858. Yeah, Nate asked me to take
another look at the numbersCopy !req
859. like you said he would.Copy !req
860. Are you sure you wanna
co-sign on this loan?Copy !req
861. It's obvious he's doctored
his earnings report.Copy !req
862. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.Copy !req
863. Send me the documents
to sign in the morning.Copy !req
864. Again, I'm sorryCopy !req
865. I didn't tell you I was with Charles,Copy !req
866. and you felt the need to follow us.Copy !req
867. Apparently...Copy !req
868. with good reason.Copy !req
869. He's just trying to make
things right with you.Copy !req
870. I know how much you wanna believe that,Copy !req
871. but Charles has done nothing
since we've gotten back togetherCopy !req
872. but lie and manipulate you.Copy !req
873. Oh, really? You really think
I'm that much of a pushover.Copy !req
874. He will prey upon your maternal
instincts to get between us.Copy !req
875. Well, I won't let that happen.Copy !req
876. Neither will I.Copy !req
877. You know how much I don't like ultimatums,Copy !req
878. but I'm afraid Chuck has left me no choice.Copy !req
879. If you wanna be with me,Copy !req
880. you need to stay away from my son.Copy !req
881. You can't ask me to do that.Copy !req
882. He's my son, too.Copy !req
883. We're not done discussing this.Copy !req
884. So Bart was using the horsesCopy !req
885. to hide the money he was
buying illegal oil with?Copy !req
886. He had to hide it somehow.Copy !req
887. Sudan is an embargoed country,Copy !req
888. which means he didn't fake his deathCopy !req
889. because he was worried Mason NevinsCopy !req
890. would come after Lily or me.Copy !req
891. He did it so he could avoid federal prison.Copy !req
892. Well, this is what we need.Copy !req
893. Right? Quick. Call the
CIA or the FBI or TMZ.Copy !req
894. Let's turn him in!Copy !req
895. I wish it were that simple.
We need evidence first.Copy !req
896. I was already planning our
victory celebration in my head.Copy !req
897. We were in a bubble bath
with a bottle of Grande CuvéeCopy !req
898. and no business in the
way of us being together.Copy !req
899. Hold onto that visual.Copy !req
900. Mmm. If I must.Copy !req
901. Call me if you need anything.Copy !req
902. Blair, it's Jean Pierre.Copy !req
903. Your mother is not pleased.Copy !req
904. She knows you're avoiding her callsCopy !req
905. and that you don't have
orders from any buyers.Copy !req
906. She says you have one month to fix this.Copy !req
907. Lily, I cannot apologize to you enough.Copy !req
908. I mean, nothing like this
will ever happen againCopy !req
909. in "The Spectator," I promise you.Copy !req
910. Thank you for understanding, yeah. Bye.Copy !req
911. I hope you're here because
you forgive me, too.Copy !req
912. I hope that answers your question.Copy !req
913. If Serena can forgive my
dad for sleeping with Lily,Copy !req
914. and Lily can forgive you for
publishing a story about it,Copy !req
915. I guess I can forgive you
for acting like a jerk.Copy !req
916. You know, I... I haven't
gone through those.Copy !req
917. Are you sure you just
wanna throw it all away?Copy !req
918. Some of it must have sentimental value.Copy !req
919. Yeah, I'm sure,Copy !req
920. and I'm sorry I put the
responsibility on youCopy !req
921. to begin with,Copy !req
922. but I was at the gallery,Copy !req
923. and I realized I don't want this stuff.Copy !req
924. I... I don't wanna look back.Copy !req
925. I just wanna look forward...Copy !req
926. With you.Copy !req
927. We all have things from
our past we'd like to erase.Copy !req
928. Philip, get some popcorn.Copy !req
929. I ran into Serena earlier today
and picked up a movie for us.Copy !req
930. But on the Upper East Side,Copy !req
931. it's not so easy to hit "delete."Copy !req
932. There's always a record
of misdeed somewhere...Copy !req
933. And someone's always looking for it.Copy !req
934. Humphrey, what are you doing here?Copy !req
935. I'm pretty sure you have
a spare room up in here.Copy !req
936. I was wondering if I could crash.Copy !req
937. You made it pretty clear
you were done with me.Copy !req
938. What's changed?Copy !req
939. I realized I made a mistake.Copy !req
940. I've missed you.Copy !req
941. I've missed... my friend.Copy !req
942. Last year, when you had no
one, I was there for you.Copy !req
943. I kinda need you to do
the same for me right now.Copy !req
944. Serena's bed is empty.Copy !req
945. Make yourself at home.Copy !req
946. Better not to ignore the past
but learn from it instead.Copy !req
947. Otherwise, history has a
way of repeating itself.Copy !req
948. X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.Copy !req
949. chamallowCopy !req