1. Gossip Girl here...
your one and only source
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2. into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.
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3. I need your passion for
social upheaval to help me
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4. write the book about the Upper East Side.
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5. Would you prefer the kink
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6. of watching your father do
it with Fake Charlie again?
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7. No, I did not watch. I got the hell out
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8. before they saw me.
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9. As the new head of Waldorf Designs,
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10. I only have one chance to make my debut.
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11. At fashion show for Buyers next week.
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12. Please tell me that means
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13. you're giving your
serial to "The Spectator."
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14. I know you need this to
succeed as much as I do,
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15. but it's only gonna do that
if you print it word for word.
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16. Done.
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17. What do you want me to say,
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18. "thank you for the humiliating experience
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19. of being walked to school by my
dad and his trophy girlfriend"?
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20. "Gossip Girl" says your dad is
dating Serena Van Der Woodsen.
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21. Is it true?
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22. Not for long.
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23. She know you can do this, Miss Blair.
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24. I hope she's right.
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25. My entire future... here and with Chuck
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26. depends on it.
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27. And who am I?
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28. That's a secret I'll never tell.
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29. You know you love me.
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30. X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.
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31. Manhattan has
weathered her share of storms...
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32. heat waves, hurricanes, even an earthquake.
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33. But these days, it looks
like a new force of nature
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34. is taking shape on the Upper East Side.
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35. There's nothing I love more
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36. than the sound of a
sweatshop in the morning.
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37. That hemline is too short.
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38. And that one is too long.
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39. My debut collection must be perfect.
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40. We haven't
been working day and night
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41. for the last two weeks to make errors.
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42. The devil is in the details,
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43. and I'm about to start worshiping Satan.
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44. Blair, here is the list of it girls
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45. walking in tonight's show.
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46. I am so glad Charlotte Casiraghi
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47. agreed to be our centerpiece girl.
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48. She is a veritable style icon
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49. and the only Monegasque
who doesn't hold a grudge.
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50. That is the genius of our strategy.
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51. So what, we missed Fashion Week.
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52. People always take their style cues
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53. from real life it girls, anyway.
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54. Our buyers will clamor for the collection
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55. the second they see it.
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56. Oui, Blair, which reminds me,
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57. I'll go confirm Charlotte's flight now.
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58. Miss Blair, you have no
moment for rest in days.
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59. I bring you health shake with kale.
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60. The only green that I'm
concerned with right now
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61. is the shade of harem pants
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62. Lauren Bush will be donning tonight.
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63. Quel désastre.
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64. Charlotte's lawyers say she has a conflict
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65. with another endorsement.
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66. They've made her drop out
of the show. What do we do?
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67. Not to worry, Jean Pierre.
I've got this under control.
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68. We'll just have to find
someone even more fabulous
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69. to feature as the face of Waldorf Designs.
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70. Thank you.
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71. So, sweetie, what's on tap at school today?
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72. Do you want some berries?
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73. I got 'em fresh at the farmer's market.
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74. Hey, if you wanna be rude to me,
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75. I'll put up with it as
part of my parental duty,
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76. but there is no excuse
to be impolite to Serena.
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77. Ah, it's fine.
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78. No, it's not.
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79. Sage, what's the deal?
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80. You've been cutting school,
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81. and you dropped out out
of all the activities
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82. that used to matter to you.
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83. Our agreement was that you could date Nate
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84. if he didn't distract
you from what's important.
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85. Please leave Nate out of this.
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86. Hey. Look at that.
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87. She actually speaks.
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88. You weren't around all summer,
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89. and now all of a sudden,
you're the world's awesomest dad
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90. trying to impress your trophy girlfriend?
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91. Okay. Wow.
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92. I didn't know that you felt that way,
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93. but now that I do, let's talk about it.
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94. Hi, Nate. No, it's a great time to talk.
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95. Well, there went your teachable moment.
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96. You know, I just don't
know what to do with her.
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97. You know, her grades are abysmal.
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98. College is right around the corner.
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99. You know, I hate to say it,
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100. but maybe I introduced
the two of you too soon.
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101. Well, speaking as someone who
had a lot of stepparent types
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102. waltz in and out of my life,
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103. I know it can be tough,
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104. but we'll make it through it, okay?
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105. I really, really want that.
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106. Well, it sounds like
there's a "but" coming.
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107. Yeah. I just, you know, wonder if I...
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108. moved a little too fast here.
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109. I... make no excuses
for the way she's acting,
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110. but she's still a kid.
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111. You know, if she's this
upset, I need to deal with it.
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112. Well, yeah, you should
definitely talk to her.
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113. You know, I was... I was
thinking more like, um...
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114. you know, maybe you and
I should take a break.
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115. You know, it's the last thing
in the world that I want,
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116. but I should focus on
Sage, you know, get her...
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117. Get her back on track.
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118. Well, what if I talk to her?
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119. You did hear everything
she just said about you.
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120. Well, yeah, but I know how
to relate to girls like Sage
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121. because I was a girl like
Sage not too long ago.
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122. Well, at this point she could
hardly hate either of us more.
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123. Therefore, we have nothing to lose.
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124. She'll come around, I promise. Okay?
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125. Okay.
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126. I heard you on the phone
earlier this morning.
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127. Didn't sound like Blair.
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128. Deeper voice, darker mind. My Uncle Jack.
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129. Ah.
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130. His people on the ground in Dubai
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131. are helping me to find
out who the mystery man
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132. with Bart in Amira's photo is.
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133. Did he come up with anything?
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134. Not yet. We got a
partial plate off the car.
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135. Tracked down the restaurant
it was parked outside of.
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136. So that's a good place
to start asking questions.
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137. Well, that's good news. I
mean, maybe someone in the area
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138. will recognize him, you know?
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139. Yeah, let's hope so.
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140. I may be negotiating with terrorists,
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141. but you're harboring a fugitive.
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142. Come on, Monkey.
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143. I... I'm sorry about that,
man. He's, you know...
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144. No, Chuck's barbs don't bother me.
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145. Anything beats having
Georgina watch me sleep.
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146. I'm just grateful for a place to crash.
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147. Well, as your roommate and publisher,
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148. I am pleased to report that "The Spectator"
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149. is finally ready to post its
very first Humphrey original.
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150. Hey, it's a good
day, and it's only 9:00 a.m.
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151. Before I publish, would
you wanna warn the subject
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152. of this week's serial?
You know, let 'em know
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153. that they're about to be totally skewered?
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154. Yeah. Uh, yeah, no. No, I'd rather not.
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155. Are you sure? I mean, this is kinda like
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156. when you start sleeping with someone's ex.
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157. It's better... better that
they hear it from you first.
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158. You should know.
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159. So should you.
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160. You think Graydon Carter
makes a courtesy call
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161. to the Astors before
publishing an expose on them?
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162. Yeah, actually.
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163. Post it.
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164. How's the invite list for the
gallery opening coming along?
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165. Speaking of, who will you be escorting?
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166. 'Cause I have the perfect suggestion.
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167. Me.
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168. Well, I would love nothing
more than to have you on my arm,
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169. uh, but before we announce
our relationship status
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170. to the world, I have to tell my kids first.
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171. Uh, Jenny sent her blessing from London,
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172. but I still haven't connected with Dan.
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173. Well, he'd better hurry
up and get back from Europe
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174. so I can officially be your girlfriend.
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175. Well, he was gonna do some traveling...
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176. after his writer's retreat,
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177. but he should be back any day now,
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178. and I'm sure he'll reach out
to us as soon as he returns.
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179. I wouldn't be too sure about that.
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180. Look at this.
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181. So... who is our new it girl?
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182. She's impossible to find.
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183. I've called all of our contacts.
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184. This is Manhattan. There's
an it girl on every corner.
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185. Even on this corner?
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186. I can't walk in my show.
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187. Not you.
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188. Serena.
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189. When I was in high school,
my mom was remarried a lot.
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190. That must have been so hard for you.
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191. Yeah, it actually was,
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192. and I learned the hard way that, you know,
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193. if you act out, you're
only hurting yourself,
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194. so please just try to care about college
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195. and stay involved in your extracurriculars.
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196. You're so right, Serena.
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197. And they say you can't be pretty and smart.
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198. And try to go easy on your dad, please.
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199. He's... he's a really good man.
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200. That's why I fell in love with him.
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201. Okay, now my ears are bleeding.
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202. But it's cool to talk to someone
my own age who actually gets it.
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203. I promise I'll turn over a new leaf.
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204. Thanks, Serena.
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205. Hold on one second.
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206. What do you want?
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207. I'm not even going to
pretend to be calling you
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208. as a friend right now because
you have made it quite clear
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209. that you are not mine,
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210. but I do have a mutually
beneficial business opportunity.
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211. I highly doubt that.
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212. I need a power it girl to walk in my show.
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213. You made a splash at the
Central Park Conservancy Gala.
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214. I'm guessing that you need
something equally as exciting
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215. to follow it up.
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216. Oh, well, your concern
for my social standing
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217. really tugs at my heartstrings,
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218. but a fashion show is hardly a life crisis.
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219. It is to me.
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220. My back is up against the wall,
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221. and not in a hot Chuck Bass kind of way.
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222. You and I have
known each other long enough
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223. that we are like family,
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224. which means that we have earned
the right to hate each other
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225. from time to time, but that doesn't mean
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226. that there's not still love underneath.
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227. Come on, Serena.
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228. Please. How many times have I saved you?
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229. It's your turn to save me back.
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230. I'm saving someone else
now... Steven's daughter Sage.
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231. My only focus is her
and keeping her on track.
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232. They're my new family.
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233. Maybe you should find a new one, too.
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234. You know what? If Serena
doesn't wanna be family,
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235. then that's fine. She can
dive right from the gene pool
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236. to the cesspool.
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237. My mother is my family.
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238. My mother... is always watching...
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239. like the "Mona Lisa."
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240. Like the "Mona Lisa" with
a lot of expectations!
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241. You look pale...
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242. Like "Mona Lisa."
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243. This
business is my namesake.
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244. It is the family jewel.
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245. It is what Chuck paid my dowry to save!
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246. If I'm not successful at this,
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247. we might not even end up together!
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248. We all root for you
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249. to be... Blair... Waldorf-Bass.
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250. I must match my mother's hard work,
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251. dedication, and success.
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252. I can't let her down.
I can't let Chuck down.
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253. Can't let myself down.
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254. They say history repeats itself,
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255. but looks like B. is charting a
brand-new course to epic collapse.
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256. Excuse me. Hey, have you seen this girl?
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257. Are you Serena?
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258. Yeah. Yeah. Where is she?
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259. Uh, you just missed her,
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260. but she did say you
would take care of this.
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261. Hello?
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262. Yeah, yeah, everything went
as well as it could have.
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263. She thinks just like I did when I was 17.
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264. It's like looking in a mirror.
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265. It seems as if you're suffering
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266. from severe exhaustion and dehydration.
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267. Have you been sleeping? Eating?
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268. Do I look like I've been eating?
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269. Don't insult me.
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270. Miss Blair running
around like rhesus monkey.
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271. She take no moment for sleeping
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272. or eating or resting or stopping.
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273. Is exhausting me, too.
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274. I have been working harder than a farmhand,
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275. but I do have a multimillion
dollar brand to build
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276. and a fashion show to oversee tonight,
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277. so if you'll excuse me.
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278. You're not going anywhere.
If you wanna be at that show,
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279. you need to be on bed rest and I.V. fluids.
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280. Where did you find this quack?
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281. Oh.
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282. Oh!
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283. Perhaps I am a wee bit tired.
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284. I'll prepare the I.V.
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285. I guess I'll just have to
deal with running my empire
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286. from my own sickbed.
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287. Oh, the state of your shirt
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288. makes me think Sage must be close.
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289. Yeah, well, you just missed her.
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290. Where could she have disappeared to now?
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291. I just searched every
floor of Barney's twice.
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292. You try doing that
without stopping to browse
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293. at either of the shoe departments.
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294. I think you should just give up the chase.
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295. I can't. I'm
supposed to be mentoring her.
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296. You? Mentor?
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297. Just go with it.
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298. She may be 17, but she
is wise beyond her years.
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299. She's high school you
times ten, believe me.
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300. But Sage's entire goal is to destroy
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301. mine and Steven's relationship,
and she's succeeding at it,
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302. because I've been lying to him all day.
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303. I'm supposed to be keeping
her on the straight and narrow,
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304. and I have no idea where she is.
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305. Well, if you feel so guilty,
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306. maybe you should just come clean.
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307. I can't. If he knows that I messed this up,
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308. he'll wanna take a break,
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309. and that's the last thing I want.
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310. He's the most important
person in my life right now.
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311. Look, it's his job to
handle her, not yours.
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312. Oh, you're right.
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313. Okay. As
hard as it's gonna be,
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314. I think I just have to admit defeat.
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315. Well, good luck with that.
I'm around if you need to talk.
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316. Thanks.
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317. You here on one of your
famous blackmail missions?
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318. I hope you got it all on film.
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319. Suck it, Humphrey.
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320. You should probably button up your shirt.
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321. You are editor-in-chief now.
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322. I just can't figure out
how Dan found out about us.
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323. I should have called him
so he heard it from me.
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324. He must be in shock.
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325. Oh, my God.
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326. Rufus, you are too good for your own good.
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327. I mean, your son trashes you in the press,
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328. and you think you're to blame.
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329. I mean, it was bad enough
when Dan fictionalized you
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330. in his last book, but this is next level.
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331. I need to talk to him immediately.
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332. Talk?
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333. Isn't that what you did last time?
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334. And look how well that turned out.
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335. I mean, he's using real names
and distorting the truth.
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336. It's libel.
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337. These ad numbers seem pretty promising.
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338. I think my serial might give
"The Spectator" a real boost.
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339. Yeah, and more importantly,
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340. judging by these online comments at least,
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341. the Rufus piece has reached
a whole new readership.
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342. I mean, people who actually read...
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343. over 35s who love vintage indie rock
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344. and dirt on other people's divorces.
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345. And since my dad isn't exactly
in the "Gossip Girl" demo,
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346. there's no way she can
undermine this story.
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347. Oh, come on.
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348. This says your dad is gonna sue you,
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349. me, and "The Spectator."
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350. And "Gossip Girl" is breaking the news.
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351. Jean Pierre? You are ruining everything.
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352. The runway is the wrong color.
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353. And who approved those wigs?
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354. Even Nicki Minaj knows better.
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355. We will change it all...
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356. paint the runway, ditch the wigs.
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357. Is that Nelly Yuki I see in the background?
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358. She's there for her exclusive interview.
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359. Stall her. Tell her she's pretty.
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360. She's never heard those
words strung together before.
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361. It couldn't get worse, Dorota.
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362. I still haven't found my it girl,
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363. and now Nelly Yuki is sniffing around
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364. like one of Valentino's little dogs.
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365. Jean Pierre should put a muzzle on her.
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366. Jean Pierre thinks "Muzzle"
is the name of our D.J.
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367. I don't know who else to call.
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368. The minions are on probation
because of Poppy-gate,
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369. and Dan is still furious with me.
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370. I just want someone who can read my mind.
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371. Is that too much to ask?
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372. Hello, Blair.
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373. Serena. Your ears must be burning.
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374. Yeah? Why?
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375. I was just telling my dad
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376. about the great opportunity you got me.
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377. Of course. The great opportunity.
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378. You scored me a prime spot
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379. walking in Blair Waldorf's
fashion show tonight.
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380. I did, and it's just so exciting.
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381. Who better for me to learn from
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382. than a young businesswoman like Blair,
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383. running her own company?
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384. I do applaud entrepreneurship.
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385. This could lead to a summer internship
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386. or maybe a whole career in fashion.
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387. I was just happy to do anything
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388. for... for sweet Sage.
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389. You know, this is great news.
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390. My two girls getting along.
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391. Thank you.
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392. This means a lot.
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393. You thought I ratted you out, didn't you?
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394. Do you really think I care
about your childhood baggage?
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395. I go to therapy. I have enough of my own.
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396. Hey, I was just trying to help.
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397. How'd you get a spot in Blair's show?
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398. I didn't.
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399. You'll get me in.
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400. Uh... it's not that easy.
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401. Nothing ever is with Blair.
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402. Well, then I'll just have to tell my dad
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403. that I finally found my true calling,
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404. and you squashed it
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405. by telling your B.F.F. not to hire me.
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406. They say don't hate the
player, hate the game.
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407. But when you invented the rules,
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408. losing really stings.
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409. I knew nobody keep you
in bed except Mr. Chuck.
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410. That's why I call him.
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411. I would love to spend the
day with you under the duvet,
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412. but you're exhausted.
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413. And I know from my brief
stint as a candy stripper
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414. that an I.V. can be quite a hindrance.
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415. So how may I serve?
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416. I can't pull you away
from taking down Bart.
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417. Well, my hands may be momentarily tied
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418. when it comes to my
mission against my father.
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419. Task me, Blair.
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420. I can't. Tasks are for
minions or Dan Humphrey.
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421. On second thought, I know
exactly what you need done.
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422. And I know exactly how you like it.
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423. No instructions necessary.
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424. Dorota.
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425. I'm feverish!
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426. Elton John won $150,000
from "The Sunday Mirror,"
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427. and all they wrote was he
was on some sort of diet
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428. where he chewed his
food but didn't swallow.
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429. Well, don't worry. I'm pretty
sure my father swallows.
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430. Dan, this isn't funny. This
is exactly why I was saying
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431. you should speak to
Rufus in the first place.
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432. No, but this isn't like my father at all.
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433. I mean, granted, nothing he's been doing
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434. has really been in character,
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435. but I just don't believe he would sue.
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436. The last thing he wants
to do is tell the truth,
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437. the whole truth about banging
Ivy Dickens on my sofa.
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438. That doesn't mean that he
isn't gonna try to make a point
Copy !req
439. or get a settlement.
Copy !req
440. Nate, look, if I... if I know my dad,
Copy !req
441. all he wants to do is give me a lecture
Copy !req
442. from his perch on
mount-holier-than-thou.
Copy !req
443. We'll be fine.
Copy !req
444. I'll... I'll go talk to him, but just
Copy !req
445. try and take a deep breath
and maybe a Xanax or two.
Copy !req
446. So the show will open with this track.
Copy !req
447. Here's a list of the rest of the set here
Copy !req
448. with time stamps.
Copy !req
449. Chuck.
Copy !req
450. What do you think?
Copy !req
451. I'm speechless.
Copy !req
452. Is it everything you desired?
Copy !req
453. You read me like tea leaves, Chuck Bass.
Copy !req
454. It's Jack. He has a lead
on the man in the photo.
Copy !req
455. I have to...
Copy !req
456. Go.
Copy !req
457. Tonight will be...
Copy !req
458. Perfect because of you.
Copy !req
459. Go find that man.
Copy !req
460. It means we're one step
closer to being together.
Copy !req
461. Go.
Copy !req
462. Oh, the ice woman cometh.
Copy !req
463. I wanted to apologize
about our conversation earlier.
Copy !req
464. I... I know that I was way out of line.
Copy !req
465. Save it, Serena. What do you want?
Copy !req
466. I need Sage to be in your fashion show.
Copy !req
467. Ironic, since I need a fabulous
it girl to walk in my show.
Copy !req
468. But Sage is in high school.
Sorry. Can't help you.
Copy !req
469. This is your opportunity to discover Sage.
Copy !req
470. Look, Karl found Naomi.
Calvin invented Christy.
Copy !req
471. People love a fresh, new face.
Copy !req
472. So what you're saying
is that you wanna use me,
Copy !req
473. your non-family,
Copy !req
474. to make a good impression
on your new real family.
Copy !req
475. Yeah. Yeah, having Sage in your show
Copy !req
476. will save my relationship with Steven.
Copy !req
477. Okay. I'll do it.
Copy !req
478. Thank you.
Copy !req
479. On one condition.
Copy !req
480. For some reason, people
care what you think.
Copy !req
481. So you will sit front row
in vintage Eleanor Waldorf,
Copy !req
482. applaud wildly, and gush
to anyone who will listen
Copy !req
483. about how fabulous my new collection is.
Copy !req
484. Done.
Copy !req
485. You have a deal.
Copy !req
486. It was almost nice doing business with you.
Copy !req
487. Sage, come meet Blair. You're in.
Copy !req
488. Oh, and stunning.
Copy !req
489. Thank you.
Copy !req
490. Tonight's gonna be amazing.
Copy !req
491. Sage will be working the runway.
Copy !req
492. Steven and I will be sitting in front row.
Copy !req
493. But starting tomorrow,
Copy !req
494. you're gonna start caring
about some things, okay?
Copy !req
495. I am?
Copy !req
496. Yeah, like attending school
and after school activities
Copy !req
497. and making it home in time for curfew
Copy !req
498. and being so, so kind to your father.
Copy !req
499. Do we understand each other?
Copy !req
500. Perfectly. I'm so happy
we're all getting along.
Copy !req
501. I have a feeling tonight's
going to be very memorable.
Copy !req
502. Careful, ladies.
Copy !req
503. Turns out Sage might be
a wolf in B.'s clothing.
Copy !req
504. Thank you.
Copy !req
505. Can't wait to see your line.
Copy !req
506. Eleanor will not be
attending tonight's show
Copy !req
507. because she trusts me completely.
Copy !req
508. I feel honored to have earned that trust
Copy !req
509. and excited about the
future of Waldorf Designs.
Copy !req
510. Blair? This way.
Copy !req
511. Excuse me.
Copy !req
512. Great.
Copy !req
513. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
514. Here you go.
Copy !req
515. To Sage's big night and to
you for making this all happen.
Copy !req
516. Oh, and to us and nothing
standing in the way of our future.
Copy !req
517. I'll drink to that.
Copy !req
518. Oh, of course,
Copy !req
519. when I told you to speak with her,
Copy !req
520. I imagine you igniting her
interest in horseback riding
Copy !req
521. or, you know, maybe
joining the volleyball team.
Copy !req
522. You know, modeling wasn't exactly
Copy !req
523. the... after school activity I had in mind.
Copy !req
524. Well, this isn't just
about modeling, though.
Copy !req
525. I mean, Blair has an incredible
group of women wearing her clothes,
Copy !req
526. from activists to
businesswomen to actresses.
Copy !req
527. Sage is in great company.
Copy !req
528. Okay.
Copy !req
529. Serena. Steven.
Copy !req
530. It is such a pleasure
to have you here tonight.
Copy !req
531. Welcome. And I'm so glad
that Sage is in the show.
Copy !req
532. She's gonna be beautiful.
Copy !req
533. Can't wait.
Copy !req
534. Oh. Look, I see, uh,
Anderson Cooper over there.
Copy !req
535. Excuse me. I should go congratulate him
Copy !req
536. on his old news becoming new news...
Copy !req
537. if that makes sense.
Copy !req
538. Let me show you your seat.
Copy !req
539. Okay, well, I need a good
view if I'm going to applaud.
Copy !req
540. Why isn't there a seat for Steven here?
Copy !req
541. Serena, this is prime fashion real estate.
Copy !req
542. I had to save all the
best seats for journalists
Copy !req
543. and influencers, not do-gooding dads,
Copy !req
544. but not to worry. Steven
has a very nice seat
Copy !req
545. behind you in the third row right there.
Copy !req
546. No, that is so disrespectful.
Copy !req
547. Do you even care that we're here?
Copy !req
548. Well, of course I care.
Copy !req
549. You are so transparent, Blair.
Copy !req
550. You couldn't have a seat
for my boyfriend next to me
Copy !req
551. because you had to save it for
one of your indentured minions.
Copy !req
552. Well, th... that's not true.
Copy !req
553. Why even bother to make a deal with me
Copy !req
554. to have me fake-clap when you've
already got one of your slaves
Copy !req
555. writing a fake story about
how wonderful your line is?
Copy !req
556. For your information,
Copy !req
557. I'm a very real "Women's
Wear Daily" reporter.
Copy !req
558. Yes, Nelly Yuki, a very real reporter
Copy !req
559. who happens to look
incredibly gorgeous tonight
Copy !req
560. and who I am thrilled to
have sitting in the front row.
Copy !req
561. And... I haven't the slightest clue
Copy !req
562. what fake deal Serena is referring to.
Copy !req
563. Nobody likes a fashion counterfeit.
Copy !req
564. You're right. I would never be
caught dead wearing a knockoff,
Copy !req
565. and if tonight really is about honesty,
Copy !req
566. then maybe I will sit next to Nelly,
Copy !req
567. and I will give her all
of my genuine opinions.
Copy !req
568. That's right. Serena.
Copy !req
569. All your true, nice opinions.
Copy !req
570. Nobody likes a Debbie
Downer or a Serena sabotage.
Copy !req
571. I'm sorry that I didn't
let you read it first.
Copy !req
572. That would've been the honest thing to do.
Copy !req
573. And I'm sorry that you
had to find out about Ivy
Copy !req
574. from someone other than me. But...
Copy !req
575. We're together now,
Copy !req
576. and, uh, admittedly,
it's... it's getting serious.
Copy !req
577. W... dad, she... she's a known con artist.
Copy !req
578. She swindled Lily and her entire family.
Copy !req
579. And, you may remember from my article,
Copy !req
580. she tried to have sex with me
Copy !req
581. and asked me to call her "Serena."
Copy !req
582. Dan, you're my son,
Copy !req
583. and we have to find a
way to put this behind us.
Copy !req
584. But... when it comes
to Ivy, you're way out of line.
Copy !req
585. I'm an adult,
Copy !req
586. and you need to respect
my decision to be with her.
Copy !req
587. Being with her is the adult decision?
Copy !req
588. Throughout my entire life,
Copy !req
589. you have portrayed yourself
as the moral compass,
Copy !req
590. the guy who always does the right thing.
Copy !req
591. According to Rufus Humphrey,
Copy !req
592. there's no road like the high road.
Copy !req
593. Yes, I believe in doing the right thing.
Copy !req
594. So can't you see what
you're doing with your life?
Copy !req
595. Your whole thing is a lie.
Copy !req
596. At least I wrote the truth,
Copy !req
597. and the truth, which, by the way,
Copy !req
598. is a defense against a
libel, so you've got no case.
Copy !req
599. Case? I don't want a case.
Copy !req
600. I just wanna have a real
conversation with my son,
Copy !req
601. so let me know if you see him around.
Copy !req
602. I will.
Copy !req
603. I gotta go.
Copy !req
604. That didn't sound like it went very well.
Copy !req
605. Did you leak news that I was
threatening to sue my son?
Copy !req
606. I am definitely the
luckiest guy in Manhattan.
Copy !req
607. I look okay?
Copy !req
608. You look amazing.
Copy !req
609. And if I spend any more time
back here staring at you,
Copy !req
610. that robe's gonna end up
crumpled up in the corner.
Copy !req
611. So... I'm just gonna wish
you luck and take my seat.
Copy !req
612. Can it end up crumpled in the corner later?
Copy !req
613. Absolutely.
Copy !req
614. You know, this looks nice on you,
Copy !req
615. but I think I have something
Serena might like even better.
Copy !req
616. Come with me.
Copy !req
617. Erica Winograd!
Copy !req
618. It's great seeing one of my
advertisers out on the town.
Copy !req
619. Likewise, Nate.
Copy !req
620. Listen, I wanted to thank you for choosing
Copy !req
621. to advertise with us at
"The Spectator" this week.
Copy !req
622. It's been a real pleasure doing
business with you and your team.
Copy !req
623. We were very excited about Dan
Humphrey's inaugural serial.
Copy !req
624. We knew it would draw a lot of eyeballs.
Copy !req
625. And it has, and I know Dan's
piece next week will garner
Copy !req
626. even more attention.
Copy !req
627. You should definitely think
about buying up some more space
Copy !req
628. for that one as well.
Copy !req
629. We did, Nate, in "Vanity Fair."
Copy !req
630. Wait. I'm... I'm sorry. What?
Copy !req
631. Dan's serial is continuing
in "Vanity Fair."
Copy !req
632. Yeah, I thought "The Spectator"
was just a onetime occurrence,
Copy !req
633. which is too bad for me
Copy !req
634. because Graydon is charging ten
times as much as you did for ad space.
Copy !req
635. I'm sorry, Erica.
I... I have to go right now.
Copy !req
636. And different.
Copy !req
637. You know, it could work.
Copy !req
638. She pulls it off.
Copy !req
639. I like it.
Copy !req
640. H... have you guys lost your minds?
Copy !req
641. This isn't fashion forward
or provocative or couture.
Copy !req
642. It... it's exploitation,
and it's embarrassing.
Copy !req
643. Okay, Alexa, it's your
turn.
Copy !req
644. Show must go on.
Copy !req
645. No one cares about one
person's silly opinion.
Copy !req
646. So strut!
Copy !req
647. Yep, I'm out of here.
Copy !req
648. There's no way in hell I'm going out there.
Copy !req
649. Oh. Don't go.
Copy !req
650. w...
Copy !req
651. It's B.'s party,
Copy !req
652. and she'll cry if she wants to,
Copy !req
653. 'cause looks like this birthday suit
Copy !req
654. isn't exactly cause for celebration.
Copy !req
655. I only did it because
I wanted to protect you.
Copy !req
656. No one ever stands up for you.
Copy !req
657. I thought if I...
Copy !req
658. threatened a lawsuit on "Gossip Girl,"
Copy !req
659. "The Spectator" would have
to retract Dan's piece.
Copy !req
660. Standing up for me is one thing,
Copy !req
661. but you shouldn't interfere in
matters between me and my son.
Copy !req
662. I... I apologize, Rufus.
Copy !req
663. I wasn't thinking about the consequences,
Copy !req
664. but Dan did publish this piece to hurt you.
Copy !req
665. There are other ways to fight back, Ivy.
Copy !req
666. No.
Copy !req
667. The only way to deal with the
world of the Upper East Side
Copy !req
668. is to fight fire with fire.
Copy !req
669. Dan may have been an
innocent Brooklyn boy once,
Copy !req
670. but while you weren't looking,
Copy !req
671. he became as ruthless as
any Park Avenue prince.
Copy !req
672. I'm sorry I inserted
myself in your battle,
Copy !req
673. but it broke my heart
Copy !req
674. to see you trashed so viciously.
Copy !req
675. Well, his words may have been nasty,
Copy !req
676. but Dan wrote the truth.
Copy !req
677. We are together.
Copy !req
678. And I want you...
Copy !req
679. by my side, here and
at the gallery opening.
Copy !req
680. Mmm.
Copy !req
681. Why the hell do my advertisers think
Copy !req
682. that "Vanity Fair" is publishing
the rest of your serial?
Copy !req
683. Because they are.
Copy !req
684. Dan, we had a deal.
Copy !req
685. A handshake is hardly a deal.
Copy !req
686. Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna hit you.
Copy !req
687. I told you last week
Copy !req
688. it was a bad idea to mix
business and friendship.
Copy !req
689. You wanted me to go to Rufus
before publishing the piece,
Copy !req
690. and today when he... when
he threatened a lawsuit,
Copy !req
691. you freaked out.
Copy !req
692. I was trying to protect my newspaper.
Copy !req
693. What do you want me to say?
"Vanity Fair" is the big-time,
Copy !req
694. and the more readers I
have, the more power I have.
Copy !req
695. It is that simple.
Copy !req
696. I thought we were in this together.
Copy !req
697. We were, and then
something better came long.
Copy !req
698. Okay, now I know I wanna hit you.
Copy !req
699. Come on, Nate. You know you
and all of your other friends
Copy !req
700. would've done the exact
same thing in my position.
Copy !req
701. You know what? Don't bother
coming back to The Empire.
Copy !req
702. Find another place to stay.
Copy !req
703. I thought you might say that.
Copy !req
704. Dave Berger.
Copy !req
705. You used to work for Bart Bass
a while back as a bodyguard.
Copy !req
706. He fired me. I got nothing
to say about that guy.
Copy !req
707. I just have a few questions
about a weekend you spent
Copy !req
708. with Bart in Dubai, about four years ago.
Copy !req
709. Like I said, I got nothing.
Copy !req
710. Mr. Bass makes everyone sign
a nondisclosure agreement.
Copy !req
711. I don't know who you are,
Copy !req
712. but I know better than to cross him.
Copy !req
713. Think of me as a friend,
Copy !req
714. a compadre, a fellow fighter.
Copy !req
715. This gym is pretty nice.
Copy !req
716. It's all right.
Copy !req
717. Perhaps you'd like to own it
instead of just working here.
Copy !req
718. Personally, I've always taken
great pleasure in being my own boss.
Copy !req
719. How could you do this to me?
Copy !req
720. Just because I didn't give
your geriatric boyfriend a seat
Copy !req
721. doesn't mean that you had to
tell Sage to sabotage my show!
Copy !req
722. Save it, Blair.
Copy !req
723. You were so upset that I care
more about Steven than your show
Copy !req
724. that you had to destroy my relationship.
Copy !req
725. I didn't tell her to take
off the dress. You did.
Copy !req
726. No, I didn't.
Copy !req
727. I would much rather avoid
the child pornography charges.
Copy !req
728. Well, if I didn't tell
her to take off the dress,
Copy !req
729. and you didn't tell her to take
off the dress, then who did?
Copy !req
730. I happened to like the underwear more.
Copy !req
731. Sage, you get in this car
right now. We are going home.
Copy !req
732. I'll see you later.
Copy !req
733. Looks like these besties
were bested by a newbie.
Copy !req
734. When Sage's dress came
off, they both came undone.
Copy !req
735. Steven, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.
Copy !req
736. She's right. It is all her fault.
Copy !req
737. She gave me all this advice
Copy !req
738. and told me to use her as a role model.
Copy !req
739. Save it, Sage. I know you set Serena up.
Copy !req
740. I should've known
Copy !req
741. as soon as you started
talking about the fashion show
Copy !req
742. that you were planning something.
Copy !req
743. Serena isn't the one who
should be apologizing.
Copy !req
744. It's you.
Copy !req
745. I'm waiting.
Copy !req
746. Serena, I'm sorry that
you weren't clever enough
Copy !req
747. to figure out what I was up to.
Copy !req
748. Sage, I am warning you.
Copy !req
749. I apologize.
Copy !req
750. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you.
Copy !req
751. It won't happen again.
Copy !req
752. Good.
Copy !req
753. Now I'm gonna contemplate your punishment
Copy !req
754. while I make us all some tea.
Copy !req
755. It's been a very long night.
Copy !req
756. For the record, I didn't
mean a word of that.
Copy !req
757. I'm not sorry at all.
Copy !req
758. Well, for the record, I don't care.
Copy !req
759. Why don't you just try to wrap
your little machiavellian brain
Copy !req
760. around the fact that your father
and I are gonna be together
Copy !req
761. no matter what you do?
Copy !req
762. So you're gonna have to
get used to me, sweetheart.
Copy !req
763. Chamomile or mint?
Copy !req
764. I just got off the phone with Jean Pierre.
Copy !req
765. It's a fashion prognosis
of disastrous proportion.
Copy !req
766. Not one buyer has made an
appointment to place an order.
Copy !req
767. And to make things worse,
Copy !req
768. Nelly Yuki trashed me
in "Women's Wear Daily."
Copy !req
769. "Can Blair Waldorf step
into her mother's shoes,
Copy !req
770. or is her Achilles' heel
of the stripper variety?"
Copy !req
771. Dorota, I have been relegated
Copy !req
772. to clear heels and Kardashian tastes!
Copy !req
773. I always know this Nelly a real snake.
Copy !req
774. It doesn't even matter
if the clothes are good.
Copy !req
775. Serena walked out, and everyone followed.
Copy !req
776. Once again, I have been defeated
Copy !req
777. at the hands of Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Copy !req
778. She's the double-edged
sword of my very existence.
Copy !req
779. Miss Blair must keep chin
up, must keep company going.
Copy !req
780. You will make Miss Eleanor proud.
Copy !req
781. I know because I proud already.
Copy !req
782. My mother. How am I
gonna explain this to her?
Copy !req
783. Eleanor Waldorf does not
take kindly to the "F" word...
Copy !req
784. "Failure."
Copy !req
785. Save the Dom, Chuck. I would rather die.
Copy !req
786. I am the laughingstock
of the fashion press.
Copy !req
787. The clothes were beautiful,
and you are beautiful,
Copy !req
788. and that is something we need to celebrate.
Copy !req
789. You say celebrate. I say drown my sorrows.
Copy !req
790. Give me the bottle.
Copy !req
791. Tolstoy wrote
Copy !req
792. that all happy families are alike,
Copy !req
793. but every unhappy family
is unhappy in its own way,
Copy !req
794. especially on the Upper East Side.
Copy !req
795. You know, Sage can be a handful,
Copy !req
796. but you handled tonight with true grace.
Copy !req
797. I'm impressed.
Copy !req
798. Mmm.
Copy !req
799. Some are only too happy to be distracted
Copy !req
800. from their pain.
Copy !req
801. Oh, hi.
Copy !req
802. Hi.
Copy !req
803. Well, I had...
Copy !req
804. an awful day with "The Spectator."
Copy !req
805. I had a really awful day with the Serena.
Copy !req
806. I'm not wearing my robe anymore,
Copy !req
807. but my clothes can still
end up in the corner.
Copy !req
808. Well...
Copy !req
809. I guess I could help you out with that.
Copy !req
810. While others choose to bite
the hand that feeds them,
Copy !req
811. even when they have no idea
Copy !req
812. where their next meal is coming from.
Copy !req
813. I heard you sold your serial
to "Vanity Fair" this morning.
Copy !req
814. I can't believe they bought it
ten minutes after it was posted.
Copy !req
815. You're very
up on current events.
Copy !req
816. Word travels fast in
the publishing industry.
Copy !req
817. I guess you took my advice
Copy !req
818. and started playing by your own rules.
Copy !req
819. How does it feel?
Copy !req
820. Uh, weird.
Copy !req
821. Kinda dirty but good.
Copy !req
822. Like you said, the truth
is a very powerful thing.
Copy !req
823. Well, if you have nowhere to go...
Copy !req
824. you can always stay with me.
Copy !req
825. Are you Dan Humphrey?
Copy !req
826. I am.
Copy !req
827. I read your piece in "The Spectator" today
Copy !req
828. and I loved it. Can I buy you a drink?
Copy !req
829. Absolutely.
Copy !req
830. So there you have it.
Copy !req
831. Dave Berger worked as a
bodyguard for my father.
Copy !req
832. He was there that weekend with Amira.
Copy !req
833. Dave drove Bart to meet someone
Copy !req
834. named Lady Alexander.
Copy !req
835. Dave wasn't in the meeting,
so that's all he could tell me.
Copy !req
836. I don't know who she is,
Copy !req
837. what she does,
Copy !req
838. or even where to start looking for her.
Copy !req
839. We will find her.
Copy !req
840. I'm all yours,
Copy !req
841. mind, body, and scheme.
Copy !req
842. You helped me with my show tonight,
Copy !req
843. and, at least for the first few hours
Copy !req
844. before the big fashion fiasco,
Copy !req
845. everything was perfect.
Copy !req
846. And I can help you, too.
Copy !req
847. Let's face it.
Copy !req
848. We... need each other.
Copy !req
849. I need you... right now.
Copy !req
850. For one night, make an exception.
Copy !req
851. A gentleman...
Copy !req
852. wouldn't take advantage of a lady who's had
Copy !req
853. more than her half of the bottle of Dom.
Copy !req
854. But...
Copy !req
855. the exception I'll make is this...
Copy !req
856. we join forces,
Copy !req
857. combine our power,
Copy !req
858. and achieve our goals that much sooner.
Copy !req
859. Ahem.
Copy !req
860. Fine.
Copy !req
861. We're in this together.
Copy !req
862. And I will try with
every fiber of my being...
Copy !req
863. to behave.
Copy !req
864. But whether your family
is happy or unhappy,
Copy !req
865. it's always best to stick together
Copy !req
866. because some ties are simply unbreakable.
Copy !req
867. X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.
Copy !req
868. chamallow
Copy !req