1. Gossip Girl here.Copy !req
2. Your one and only sourceCopy !req
3. into the scandalous livesCopy !req
4. of Manhattan's elite.Copy !req
5. Don't you think it's time
for you to head home?Copy !req
6. I am home.Copy !req
7. No, I mean your other homeCopy !req
8. the one with your wife in it.Copy !req
9. As for the rest of my estatesCopy !req
10. I leave to you, Ivy Dickens.Copy !req
11. You are never gonna get away
with this.Copy !req
12. You don't have a case.
I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
13. The court will decide that.Copy !req
14. Our relationship isn't about
choosing one world or another.Copy !req
15. Our relationship is our world.
We're a team.Copy !req
16. Serena's Gossip Girl.
I'm gonna prove it to you.Copy !req
17. You saved Chuck's lifeCopy !req
18. 'and you did that because..'Copy !req
19. I'm Chuck's mother.Copy !req
20. You're actually her.
You're Gossip Girl.Copy !req
21. Please, whatever you do,
just don't tell anyone.Copy !req
22. It's one thing to accuse
Serena of being Gossip GirlCopy !req
23. but sending in that video
about Chuck..Copy !req
24. I can't forgive that.Copy !req
25. I've always hesitated
going after Lola's fatherCopy !req
26. for child support.Copy !req
27. Do you even know who he is?Copy !req
28. I'm lookin' right at him.Copy !req
29. What if my dad
doesn't even know I exist?Copy !req
30. What if all he'd want
is to know me?Copy !req
31. I'm sure he does.Copy !req
32. And who am I?Copy !req
33. That's one secret
I'll never tell.Copy !req
34. You know you love me.Copy !req
35. X-O-X-O.Copy !req
36. Gossip Girl.Copy !req
37. In our modern age,
there are so many waysCopy !req
38. forinformation to travel.Copy !req
39. And yet, with all our
tablets and smartphonesCopy !req
40. there are still some peoplewho
like to get their morning dishCopy !req
41. the old-fashioned way.Copy !req
42. Even without the information
highwayCopy !req
43. good news always seems
to travelfast.Copy !req
44. But bad news?Copy !req
45. Well, you know what they say..Copy !req
46. 'You know,
I must commend myself'Copy !req
47. 'on my choice of wardrobe
for you today.'Copy !req
48. You are striking just the rightCopy !req
49. tone of literate and serious yetCopy !req
50. playful and accessible.Copy !req
51. I'm just meeting a couple
of Simon & Schuster publicists.Copy !req
52. It's really not a big deal.Copy !req
53. Not a big deal?Copy !req
54. What could be more important
than strategizing waysCopy !req
55. to publicize yourself?Copy !req
56. I don't know,
maybe the banking crisis orCopy !req
57. or what's going on in Syria or—Copy !req
58. Dan, you know you're never
gonna be trending on TwitterCopy !req
59. if you choose
those topics to discuss.Copy !req
60. Now, just be humble,
self-deprecatingCopy !req
61. with a tinge
of intellectual superiority.Copy !req
62. And always leave them
wanting more.Copy !req
63. Have a great day!Copy !req
64. Dorota!Copy !req
65. Run me a hot bath.Copy !req
66. I want a long soak in the tubCopy !req
67. and catch up on my reading.Copy !req
68. I have better idea.Copy !req
69. How about you take quick showerCopy !req
70. then supervise me
as I clean out your closet?Copy !req
71. You need more space and I-I need
to work off baby weight bad.Copy !req
72. Did you see the look on Ivy's
face when mother's nurseCopy !req
73. accused her
of taking unfair advantageCopy !req
74. of the weak and elderly?Copy !req
75. Well, thank God that womanCopy !req
76. came forward and said what
actually happened.Copy !req
77. I knew right then that the judge
would invalidate the will.Copy !req
78. Tell me, Lily.Copy !req
79. How much exactly did you payCopy !req
80. that nurse to lie for you?Copy !req
81. 'Cause I have done nothingCopy !req
82. but love and care for Cece.Copy !req
83. It's not my mom's fault that
the truth finally came out.Copy !req
84. So why don't you leave us aloneCopy !req
85. before we head into
one of these officesCopy !req
86. and file a restraining order
against you.Copy !req
87. Hey, mom.
Where was Rufus this morning?Copy !req
88. I was kinda surprised
he wasn't here to support you.Copy !req
89. Well, Rufus had an appointment
and I just told him notCopy !req
90. to cancel because as long as you
were by my side, I'd be fine.Copy !req
91. Well, so what happens now? The
money just reverts back to you?Copy !req
92. Well, now that
the will has been revokedCopy !req
93. the estate will be split
50-50 between me and Carol.Copy !req
94. And she's flying in tonight
to sign the paperwork.Copy !req
95. There'll be gloating, no doubt.Copy !req
96. Well, believe me, it's a small
price to payCopy !req
97. to be done
with this whole thing.Copy !req
98. And thank God nobody knew
how dirty it really got.Copy !req
99. Lily, Lily, Is the family still
fighting with each otherCopy !req
100. over your mother's inheritance?Copy !req
101. How's it feel going
from high-class to high-trash?Copy !req
102. Well, I assure you, this
is all one big misunderstanding.Copy !req
103. The entire Rhodes Clan couldn't
be happier.Copy !req
104. Any truth to the rumors that
you and your husbandCopy !req
105. are no longer living together?Copy !req
106. No. None at all.Copy !req
107. Serena, shall we?Copy !req
108. Just one more question.Copy !req
109. I think you dialed
the wrong number.Copy !req
110. Obviously, you meant
to call your son and not me.Copy !req
111. I know the news
of me being Chuck's motherCopy !req
112. must have come as rather a..Copy !req
113. big surprise to you.Copy !req
114. You think?Copy !req
115. 'But it doesn't have to ruin'Copy !req
116. anything between us.Copy !req
117. Except for the small fact thatCopy !req
118. every time I look at you nowCopy !req
119. I see a Bass in my face.Copy !req
120. You know I still have feelings
for you.Copy !req
121. And now that you've brokenCopy !req
122. up with that girl LolaCopy !req
123. 'I think you might still'Copy !req
124. 'have feelings for me, too.'Copy !req
125. Am I wrong?Copy !req
126. I should really go.Copy !req
127. I'm gonna be out
of the office all day.Copy !req
128. But can we meet
after work tonightCopy !req
129. 'and at least talk it through?'Copy !req
130. I don't know, I never really
saw myself asCopy !req
131. a sleep-with-your-best-friend's-
mother kind of a guy.Copy !req
132. Just think about it, okay?Copy !req
133. Alright.Copy !req
134. Is it true what the paparazzi
said about you and Rufus?Copy !req
135. Are you really not living
together?Copy !req
136. Well, we're taking a little
hiatus to clear our heads, yes.Copy !req
137. Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
138. Well, because I didn't want
to worry you.Copy !req
139. Rufus is in Brooklyn.
He's fine.Copy !req
140. And, you know, he'll come
around like he always does.Copy !req
141. My bigger concern is the publicCopy !req
142. perception of this whole mess
that Ivy caused.Copy !req
143. 'Cause let me tell you
something, Serena, nothing ruinsCopy !req
144. a family reputation faster
than a money fight.Copy !req
145. You should be focusing on
fixing things with Rufus.Copy !req
146. I know, we'll have a big
family dinner here tonightCopy !req
147. to celebrate
our victory in court.Copy !req
148. And I'll invite a reporter
from the New York Social DiaryCopy !req
149. to dispel all the rumors
of family strife.Copy !req
150. You think the way
to handle this is by invitingCopy !req
151. the media into our home?Copy !req
152. I'll find a way
to get Rufus here.Copy !req
153. - You bring Lola.
- No.Copy !req
154. We're not exactly
in a good place right now.Copy !req
155. Well, get in one.Copy !req
156. Once they see us all togetherCopy !req
157. these vicious rumors willCopy !req
158. evaporate before they began.Copy !req
159. Nathaniel, are my ears playing
tricks on meCopy !req
160. or did I hear you on the phone
with a young lady earlier?Copy !req
161. No, not exactly, um..Copy !req
162. You mother called to talk to me.Copy !req
163. Well, I'm not sure which one
of us this is more awkward for.Copy !req
164. Neither am I.Copy !req
165. Between my history
with Diana and now yoursCopy !req
166. it's just too weird to even
be in business with her.Copy !req
167. I would love
to find some fundingCopy !req
168. and possibly buy her out
for good.Copy !req
169. You interested?Copy !req
170. Unfortunately, I'm still tryingCopy !req
171. to decide
what kind of relationshipCopy !req
172. I want with her.Copy !req
173. Which means I'm not ready to putCopy !req
174. her out of business just yet.Copy !req
175. What you're saying is,
since I already screwed her—Copy !req
176. I don't need to also.Copy !req
177. Oh, by the way,
I hope you don't mind.Copy !req
178. I called Andrew in
to figure outCopy !req
179. where Diana's
getting her money.Copy !req
180. She needed my grandfather
last time.Copy !req
181. Someone must be
bankrolling her now.Copy !req
182. And when you find out who it is?Copy !req
183. I'll try and convince
the investor to bet on me alone.Copy !req
184. Do what you have to doCopy !req
185. but I am respectfully staying
out of it.Copy !req
186. - Andrew.
- Mr. Bass.Copy !req
187. I did some digging.Copy !req
188. I found out that Diana
is getting her fundingCopy !req
189. from an Australian
holding company.Copy !req
190. Were you able to find a name?Copy !req
191. Andrew, I need you to find out
everything you canCopy !req
192. about Diana Payne.Copy !req
193. I'll tell you, DorotaCopy !req
194. for the first time
in a long timeCopy !req
195. I feel as if all is right
in the universe.Copy !req
196. 'Not the Dior!'Copy !req
197. Wait. Why did you throw
these away?Copy !req
198. I haven't read "New York"
magazine yet.Copy !req
199. It's too much clutter.Copy !req
200. It'll clutter your brain.Copy !req
201. You sure you want to read,
Miss Blair?Copy !req
202. There are some bad things
about friends in there.Copy !req
203. Don't you know me at all?Copy !req
204. I love reading bad things
about my friends.Copy !req
205. It's the only thing that makes
me feel better about myself.Copy !req
206. Dan made the approval matrix?Copy !req
207. In the highbrow brilliant box?Copy !req
208. "Dan Humphrey writing
a new bookCopy !req
209. one that isn't a cheap sequel
to "Inside."Copy !req
210. That's brilliant?Copy !req
211. I mean, I'm surprised he made
the magazine at all, but..Copy !req
212. He's highbrow and I'm lowbrowCopy !req
213. "for being married for less
time than Kim Kardashian?"Copy !req
214. I was so wrong, Dorota.Copy !req
215. All is not right
in the universe.Copy !req
216. The universe is totally upendedCopy !req
217. and we must right it
immediately.Copy !req
218. And how we plan to do that?Copy !req
219. I must become as highbrow
as Dan this instant.Copy !req
220. - Hello, sweetie.
- Hey, dad.Copy !req
221. I-I think I need your help.Copy !req
222. For you, anything.
What's going on?Copy !req
223. Word got out about all of our
family drama overCopy !req
224. grandma's inheritance, and now
mom wants to have a big dinnerCopy !req
225. tonight and-and invite the press
to try to fix it.Copy !req
226. I don't know. I just don't thinkCopy !req
227. that's the right way
to handle it.Copy !req
228. This is just your mother's
process.Copy !req
229. She needs to make sure
everything looks goodCopy !req
230. on the outside before
she takes care of the inside.Copy !req
231. Well, is there any way
you can make it?Copy !req
232. You've been
such a calming presenceCopy !req
233. during all this craziness.Copy !req
234. And Carol is gonna be there,
which usuallyCopy !req
235. only adds to the conflict.Copy !req
236. I wish I could, sweetie,
but there's no way I can getCopy !req
237. into town on such short notice.Copy !req
238. 'But don't worry, I promise you'Copy !req
239. 'everything
is gonna be just fine.'Copy !req
240. Okay. Well, thank you anyway.Copy !req
241. - I love you, dad.
- Love you, too, angel.Copy !req
242. Bye.Copy !req
243. I've always been a daddy's girlCopy !req
244. but sometimes the problem
with fathers..Copy !req
245. Sorry about that.
Now where were we?Copy !req
246. I think
you were about to tell meCopy !req
247. how you found out
that you're my dad.Copy !req
248. is that they can be real
sons of bitches.Copy !req
249. How am I supposed to be okay
with this?Copy !req
250. My mom knowingly kept me
from you all these years.Copy !req
251. It may sound crazy,
but I think in her... own wayCopy !req
252. she was just trying
to protect everyone.Copy !req
253. Well, she still should've told
me about itCopy !req
254. and then it could've been
up to you and meCopy !req
255. what kind of relationship
we wanted to have.Copy !req
256. I know in your mind you think
we lost a lot of good yearsCopy !req
257. but... the truth isCopy !req
258. I was a lousy dad
to Serena and Eric.Copy !req
259. I think I finally learned
from my mistakes.Copy !req
260. So instead of looking back
and cursing your motherCopy !req
261. how about we focus on what
we can have moving forward?Copy !req
262. Now your mom told me not
to tell anybody about usCopy !req
263. but... if you'd like everyone
to know the truth..Copy !req
264. it's fine by me.Copy !req
265. I think it would be best if we
didn't tell the family just yet.Copy !req
266. I won't say a word.Copy !req
267. Okay.Copy !req
268. Have you heard the good news?Copy !req
269. A judge invalidated
my mother's willCopy !req
270. so we can now finally put
all this drama behind us.Copy !req
271. Now,
where are the champagne flutes?Copy !req
272. Uh, Lil, why are you here?Copy !req
273. Well, because we're having
a celebratory dinnerCopy !req
274. tonight at our place,
just the familyCopy !req
275. and I want you to come.Copy !req
276. I'm sorry you're upset with me
but I think it's timeCopy !req
277. we put our petty fighting
behind us and move on.Copy !req
278. What do you say?Copy !req
279. I'd say that doesn't sound
like a real apology.Copy !req
280. Well, I'm not sure I'm the one
that needs to apologize.Copy !req
281. Oh, you think I am? For what?Copy !req
282. Taking Ivy's side,
paying her way behind my back?Copy !req
283. She was basically homeless.Copy !req
284. That's because the home
she'd been living in was mine.Copy !req
285. That's exactly right, Lil.Copy !req
286. It was yours, not ours.Copy !req
287. Do you see
what we're doing hereCopy !req
288. all this fighting
and finger-pointing?Copy !req
289. I thought
we were in this togetherCopy !req
290. but you do
whatever you feel like.Copy !req
291. Well, I could say
the same thing about you.Copy !req
292. This isn't how a marriage
is supposed to be.Copy !req
293. Who's wrong? Who's right?
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
294. What matters is that
we're in a partnership.Copy !req
295. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
296. Then how about you give me
a callCopy !req
297. when you're ready
to be a partner again?Copy !req
298. Wow. That must've been
one quick jetCopy !req
299. you took to get you back
to New York already.Copy !req
300. Serena. Hello.Copy !req
301. Do you wanna explain
why you lied to meCopy !req
302. or why you were hanging out
with Lola?Copy !req
303. If you must know, I..Copy !req
304. bonded with my niece
at Cece's wake.Copy !req
305. She's been a bit lonely with all
this stuff with her mother.Copy !req
306. I'm just...
trying to be there for her.Copy !req
307. But that still doesn't explainCopy !req
308. why you told me
you weren't in town.Copy !req
309. I'm sorry.Copy !req
310. It's just, you invited
me to a family dinnerCopy !req
311. and I heard rumors that Lily
and Rufus are having problems.Copy !req
312. As you know, my presence tends
to be the opposite of helpfulCopy !req
313. around the two of them.Copy !req
314. I never should've lied to you.Copy !req
315. I-I didn't know
what else to say.Copy !req
316. Well, if you wanna
make it up to meCopy !req
317. why don't you come
to dinner tonight?Copy !req
318. Please? I'm not gonna take
no for an answerCopy !req
319. so just say yes, dad. For me?Copy !req
320. You convinced me.Copy !req
321. Thank you.Copy !req
322. You know, I'm-I'm gonna invite
Lola, too.Copy !req
323. I'll see you
at mom's at 8:00, okay?Copy !req
324. Great.Copy !req
325. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Thanks.Copy !req
326. Were you able to reach Jack?Copy !req
327. No. Apparently, he's
taken a leave of absenceCopy !req
328. from Bass, Australia, and no one
seems to know where he is.Copy !req
329. Of course, they say that's
rather normal for Jack.Copy !req
330. Well, you have a visitor.
Want me to let her in?Copy !req
331. Yeah, sure. Thanks, Amy.Copy !req
332. Nate, hi.Copy !req
333. Lola, hey.Copy !req
334. I just recently gained insightCopy !req
335. into how painful it must've beenCopy !req
336. for Chuck to find out
that Diana was his momCopy !req
337. and I'm just really sorry
for the role I played in that.Copy !req
338. Oh, yeah, well,
thanks for that.Copy !req
339. But... why?
What happened to you?Copy !req
340. My father finally came forwardCopy !req
341. and, um, I just spent
the morning with him.Copy !req
342. So I really needed someone
to talk to.Copy !req
343. Well, I'm glad you came to me.Copy !req
344. Believe it or not, I went
through the same thingCopy !req
345. with Chuck when he thought
he found his motherCopy !req
346. a couple of years ago.Copy !req
347. Another woman besides Diana?Copy !req
348. Yeah, but it turned out
none of it was true.Copy !req
349. It was just all this big lie
orchestrated by his, um..Copy !req
350. Orchestrated by his Uncle Jack.Copy !req
351. Hey, Lola,
I'm-I'm really sorryCopy !req
352. but I can talk
more about this later.Copy !req
353. I've just gotta deal
with something right now.Copy !req
354. Are you gonna be okay?Copy !req
355. Thanks.Copy !req
356. Hey, Amy, would you give me
Andrew Tyler?Copy !req
357. And if you can't reach him,
see if you can findCopy !req
358. any information online about
a woman named Elizabeth Fisher.Copy !req
359. So as I was cleaning out
my closet this morningCopy !req
360. I suddenly had a brilliant—Copy !req
361. - And highbrow.
- Thank you, Dorota.Copy !req
362. A brilliant and extremely
highbrow idea.Copy !req
363. Such a shame to have
all these beautiful accessoriesCopy !req
364. that are hidden from the world
the vast majority of the time.Copy !req
365. So I decided to allow FITCopy !req
366. to exhibit my shoe
and handbag collection.Copy !req
367. This is the purse
I brought to promCopy !req
368. and, of course,
that is the shoe that LouisCopy !req
369. brought back to me from Paris
in the beginningCopy !req
370. of our storybook romance.Copy !req
371. Which ended even more famously
than it began, didn't it?Copy !req
372. Maybe if you were still
a princess, I'd biteCopy !req
373. but since
you're no longer royalty..Copy !req
374. She still royalty to me.Copy !req
375. Down, Dorota. It's okay.Copy !req
376. Also, it's far too similar
to an exhibitCopy !req
377. we already
did with Daphne Guinness.Copy !req
378. Perhaps another time.Copy !req
379. Who was that guy?Copy !req
380. 'Some representative from FIT.'Copy !req
381. More like similar word,
but spelled S—Copy !req
382. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
383. How was the meeting
with your publicist?Copy !req
384. They just wanted to see me
in personCopy !req
385. so they could tell me I'm one
of the five people nominatedCopy !req
386. for the New York Public
Library'sCopy !req
387. 2012 Young Lions Fiction Award.Copy !req
388. And there's a cocktail reception
tonightCopy !req
389. where they're honoring
the nominees.Copy !req
390. I was wondering if, uh,
if you would be my date.Copy !req
391. Well, of course.Copy !req
392. I can't wait to be there
to honor youCopy !req
393. my boyfriend,
who's doing such highbrowCopy !req
394. brilliant things.Copy !req
395. In fact, I'm gonna buy
a new dress since clearlyCopy !req
396. nothing is worthwhile
in my entire collection.Copy !req
397. Okay, but it's a cocktail party.Copy !req
398. You can keep it casual.Copy !req
399. Despite what FIT believes,
I think I know how to dressCopy !req
400. myself for an evening out,
thank you very much.Copy !req
401. Hey! Have you seen Lola?Copy !req
402. I just saw on
"Gossip Girl" that she was here.Copy !req
403. - Oh, you just missed her.
- Oh.Copy !req
404. I just left her a messageCopy !req
405. inviting her to this family
dinner tonightCopy !req
406. but I really wanted
to make up with her in personCopy !req
407. after our tiff last week.Copy !req
408. Oh, I'm glad,
Lola could really use someCopy !req
409. friends right about now.Copy !req
410. She's just going throughCopy !req
411. some things, you know?Copy !req
412. Unrelated to you, but..Copy !req
413. Really? Everything okay?Copy !req
414. She just met her fatherCopy !req
415. for the first time today.Copy !req
416. She spent the morning with him.Copy !req
417. I think the whole experienceCopy !req
418. just kind of threw her
for a loop, you know?Copy !req
419. She spent the morning
with her father?Copy !req
420. Yeah.Copy !req
421. Nate, no word from Andrew yetCopy !req
422. but I think I found that phoneCopy !req
423. number your were asking for.Copy !req
424. Ah. Thanks, Amy. Listen, Serena.Copy !req
425. I really need to go deal
with this. Excuse me.Copy !req
426. Lily may have wantedCopy !req
427. the perfect nuclear familyCopy !req
428. but this bomb
is going to start a war.Copy !req
429. How's this for tonight's speech?Copy !req
430. "I've learned many things
writing this book.Copy !req
431. "Number one, don't exploit
your friends.Copy !req
432. "Number two, if you are going
to exploit your friendsCopy !req
433. uh, you-you should probably
tell them about it first."Copy !req
434. I can do better than this.Copy !req
435. You know, I'd be happyCopy !req
436. to accompany you to the eventCopy !req
437. as your proud fatherCopy !req
438. if you want me to.Copy !req
439. Okay, what's going on, dad?Copy !req
440. You haven't wanted to spend
this much time with meCopy !req
441. since I wrote a term paperCopy !req
442. on British punk rock
and the subculture of scorn.Copy !req
443. Alright, you got me.Copy !req
444. Lily invited me to this bigCopy !req
445. family dinner tonightCopy !req
446. and I'm not sure if I wanna go.Copy !req
447. Well, do I need to remind youCopy !req
448. that Lily's still your wife?Copy !req
449. Don't tell me
you're on her side.Copy !req
450. No, I'm not on any side.Copy !req
451. But you gave me some very
good advice recentlyCopy !req
452. on the importance of equality
in a relationship.Copy !req
453. And if Lily is taking steps
to make things better..Copy !req
454. how can you not at least
try to do the same?Copy !req
455. That's all.Copy !req
456. Oh, hi.Copy !req
457. Mom, I know you wanna haveCopy !req
458. this great family dinner hereCopy !req
459. tonight,
but you have to cancel.Copy !req
460. Why? What happened?Copy !req
461. I just..Copy !req
462. I just found out that
Lola's not my cousinCopy !req
463. but she's my sister.Copy !req
464. Which means dad was having
an affair with CarolCopy !req
465. while you were still married.Copy !req
466. How did you hear this?Copy !req
467. Well, dad lied to meCopy !req
468. about being out of townCopy !req
469. and then I saw him with Lola.Copy !req
470. And-and then Nate just told meCopy !req
471. that Lola spent
the morning with her father.Copy !req
472. Well, there still could beCopy !req
473. some other explanation.Copy !req
474. No, no, this is the explanation.Copy !req
475. It explains everything.Copy !req
476. Carol hiding Lola from us,
hiring Ivy to be her.Copy !req
477. You know in your heart
that this is the truth.Copy !req
478. Serena..Copy !req
479. your father and I divorced
for many reasons.Copy !req
480. His philandering
was just one of them.Copy !req
481. Nonetheless, we need to handle
our present problemsCopy !req
482. before we start digging
into past ones.Copy !req
483. Are either one of them aware
that we know their secret?Copy !req
484. Okay, then let's keep it that
way until afterCopy !req
485. the reporter leaves
and dinner is over.Copy !req
486. And then I'll sit down with your
father and CarolCopy !req
487. alone and calmly sort through
this in a mature manner.Copy !req
488. I want you to put this out
of your mindCopy !req
489. plaster on your best happy face
and go get ready for the party.Copy !req
490. Will you do that for me?Copy !req
491. If that's what you want.Copy !req
492. I'll see you in a few hours.Copy !req
493. Hi. This is Lily.Copy !req
494. I know I'm probably
the last personCopy !req
495. you wanna talk to right now..Copy !req
496. but I have a partnership
proposition for you.Copy !req
497. I'm sorry to leave all thisCopy !req
498. on your answering machine
Elizabeth.Copy !req
499. I just really need your help.Copy !req
500. I mean, if you have
any proof whatsoeverCopy !req
501. that you are in fact Chuck's
real motherCopy !req
502. and if you care about
him even a little bitCopy !req
503. now would be the time
to come forward.Copy !req
504. Feel free to contact me
anytime, day or night.Copy !req
505. Thank you very much.Copy !req
506. What'd you find out?Copy !req
507. That the first record
of our Diana PayneCopy !req
508. was three years ago.Copy !req
509. Before that, it's like
she didn't even exist.Copy !req
510. So if Diana Payne's
not her real nameCopy !req
511. how do we ever find out
her story?Copy !req
512. How do I look?Copy !req
513. Suspicious.Copy !req
514. You heard Mr. Humphrey.Copy !req
515. Why are you dressed so fancy
for casual book party?Copy !req
516. Ah, guess the opera
gloves may be a bit much.Copy !req
517. I smell a scheme
when I see one.Copy !req
518. What's going on?Copy !req
519. It is very simple, Dorota.Copy !req
520. After carefully studying back
issues of "New York" magazineCopy !req
521. I realized that I don't
aspire to be anythingCopy !req
522. like the highbrow brilliant
people at all.Copy !req
523. They're all boring doctors
curing diseasesCopy !req
524. and lame philanthropists
trying to save the world.Copy !req
525. Who wants to be on that list?Copy !req
526. But Mr. Dan's not lame.Copy !req
527. Fine. He is the exception
to the rule.Copy !req
528. But my point is
highbrow despicable.Copy !req
529. That's where you find
the headline makersCopy !req
530. having all the fun.Copy !req
531. Gwyneth, Victoria Beckham,
Mayor Bloomberg..Copy !req
532. Those are my people, DorotaCopy !req
533. and it is time that
I become one of them again.Copy !req
534. Now I have written a list
of talking pointsCopy !req
535. for when the press calls
later this evening.Copy !req
536. "Do say Blair is generous
and impulsive.Copy !req
537. Don't say any of this
was premeditated."Copy !req
538. You going to steal Mr. Dan's
spotlight on big nightCopy !req
539. aren't you?Copy !req
540. That would be merely despicable.Copy !req
541. But if I do it while performingCopy !req
542. an incredibly honorable
and magnanimous deedCopy !req
543. then it's highbrow despicable.Copy !req
544. So, I was, uh, thinking about
what we talked about earlierCopy !req
545. and I decided that
as your husbandCopy !req
546. I'd like to come
and support you this evening.Copy !req
547. Oh, that's very sweet
of you, RufusCopy !req
548. but unfortunately,
dinner's been canceled.Copy !req
549. 'I'll call you later.'Copy !req
550. Alright, you got me here.Copy !req
551. Now what kind of
a partnership propositionCopy !req
552. did you have in mind?Copy !req
553. - I can work with this.
- You can work with what?Copy !req
554. Take my coat, will you?Copy !req
555. Uh, you look beautiful but I did
tell you this was casual, right?Copy !req
556. This is casual.Copy !req
557. Be right back.Copy !req
558. Dorota, why isn't anything
posted on Gossip Girl yet?Copy !req
559. I don't know,
I sent in tip about how yourCopy !req
560. Elie Saab couture
upstages stodgy lionsCopy !req
561. ten minutes ago,
just like you said.Copy !req
562. Well, it isn't working.Copy !req
563. No one's paying
any attention to me.Copy !req
564. Hey. How you doing?
I'm Dan Humphrey.Copy !req
565. It looks like I'm going
to shift into phase twoCopy !req
566. earlier than I thought.Copy !req
567. 'On modern class distinctions'Copy !req
568. and the near
ritualistic social moresCopy !req
569. of the Upper East Side.Copy !req
570. It was almost
Austenian in nature.Copy !req
571. Or Waldorfian.Copy !req
572. Being as that I was his
muse and inspiration.Copy !req
573. Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf.Copy !req
574. Hi, Blair Waldorf.Copy !req
575. Hi, Blair Waldorf. Hi, mm.Copy !req
576. Victor, I really appreciate
you doing this for me.Copy !req
577. The empire just isn't
the same without you, man.Copy !req
578. Well, I might be back
there very soonCopy !req
579. if anyone finds out
what I just did.Copy !req
580. Well, I'll be
super quick, I promise.Copy !req
581. Alright, Diana.Copy !req
582. Reveal yourself.Copy !req
583. Well, I really
appreciate the invitation.Copy !req
584. Yes, of course,
I think it's very importantCopy !req
585. for you to see firsthand all
this infighting over moneyCopy !req
586. has been just so wildly
exaggerated by the press.Copy !req
587. You can understand
how to an outside eye—Copy !req
588. Oh, nonsense!
The truth is, one bad eggCopy !req
589. threatened to tear
the whole family apart.Copy !req
590. But as you'll see this evening,
I would never let that happen.Copy !req
591. I'm, um, sorry that my
husband won't be in attendanceCopy !req
592. but he's feeling
a little under the weather.Copy !req
593. Excuse me.Copy !req
594. Are you alright,
because this isn't exactlyCopy !req
595. the happy face
that we talked about earlier.Copy !req
596. I just still feel a little
weird about tonight.Copy !req
597. Is it too late to cancel?Copy !req
598. Darling, it is
already happening.Copy !req
599. 'Oh, Carol!'Copy !req
600. Looking just as great as ever.Copy !req
601. Hi.Copy !req
602. Uh, Carol, this is
David Patrick ColumbiaCopy !req
603. of the New York Social Diary.Copy !req
604. - Hi!
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
605. If you wanted
to see my underwearCopy !req
606. all you had to do was ask.Copy !req
607. Are you just gonna stand there,
staring at me or would youCopy !req
608. like to tell me why you've
broken into my hotel room?Copy !req
609. If you must know, I was..Copy !req
610. looking for something
for you to wear.Copy !req
611. Oh!Copy !req
612. The truth is, I've just beenCopy !req
613. thinking about your call today.Copy !req
614. I'm listening.Copy !req
615. Our chemistry
is clearly undeniable.Copy !req
616. And I'm justCopy !req
617. tired of fighting it.Copy !req
618. So... I'm not going to anymore.Copy !req
619. Good evening, Carol.Copy !req
620. How are you?Copy !req
621. You can breathe
easier now, William.Copy !req
622. Since I've gotten half
of my mother's estateCopy !req
623. you're no longer in danger of
losing everything anymore.Copy !req
624. And our little secret?Copy !req
625. I see no reason
to tell anyone else.Copy !req
626. How about you?Copy !req
627. Hello, sweetheart.
You're looking lovely as ever.Copy !req
628. Oh, thank you.
I get it from my mom.Copy !req
629. Wow! Look who's here.
Can you believe it?Copy !req
630. All of us together
in the same room.Copy !req
631. One big happy family.Copy !req
632. Well, now that
our final guest has arrivedCopy !req
633. if you'll follow me, I know
we're in for quite a meal.Copy !req
634. Next up to say
a few words about his bookCopy !req
635. and tell us what
the young lions means to himCopy !req
636. Dan Humphrey.Copy !req
637. Thank you, Deborah.Copy !req
638. Your brilliant short stories
inspire me to write betterCopy !req
639. and get to the point quicker.Copy !req
640. I believe it was
Hemingway who once said—Copy !req
641. What..Copy !req
642. a wonderful
introduction, Dan.Copy !req
643. I truly could not
tell you how moved I wasCopy !req
644. by all the touching things you
wrote about me in "Inside."Copy !req
645. A book can only be read by
people who know how to read it.Copy !req
646. Otherwise, it is nothing
more than a paperweightCopy !req
647. or a doorstop.Copy !req
648. Which is why I, Blair WaldorfCopy !req
649. have decided
to provide an endowmentCopy !req
650. to the young lions fund to
help with children's literacyCopy !req
651. so that all the despicable
New Yorkers our there like meCopy !req
652. can one day grow up to
read "Inside" themselves.Copy !req
653. However, as always,
I prefer to remain anonymous.Copy !req
654. So a toast to Dan.Copy !req
655. 'And to literacy.'Copy !req
656. And to me..Copy !req
657. anonymously.Copy !req
658. Cheers?Copy !req
659. Well, in the spirit
of the eveningCopy !req
660. I've decided to serve
tonight's meal family style.Copy !req
661. Mom, this is so unlike you.Copy !req
662. You hate anything family style.Copy !req
663. Yes, well, I've since realizedCopy !req
664. how important sharing
is to the family dynamic.Copy !req
665. Us Van Der Woodsens
share more thanCopy !req
666. you could possibly imagine.Copy !req
667. Yeah, like when
you used to steal myCopy !req
668. leg warmers when
we were teenagers.Copy !req
669. Yes, just like that or
when you stole my husbandCopy !req
670. and decided to have a baby
with him behind my back.Copy !req
671. Oh, my God.Copy !req
672. 'Mom, why are you
doing this now?'Copy !req
673. Okay, I think David's seenCopy !req
674. enough family bonding
for one evening.Copy !req
675. No, please, Serena,
let him stay.Copy !req
676. I don't want there
to be any more secrets.Copy !req
677. - Why did you tell Lily?
- I never said a word.Copy !req
678. Lola was never supposed
to know about this.Copy !req
679. Well, maybe if you
didn't want me to knowCopy !req
680. you shouldn't have
tried to blackmail him.Copy !req
681. 'And if it wasn't bad enough
that you slept with my husband'Copy !req
682. all those years ago
and left your daughterCopy !req
683. in the dark about
her father's identityCopy !req
684. then you send an imposter
into my home to get money.Copy !req
685. You know what? I don't need
to listen to this any longer.Copy !req
686. I got what I came here for.Copy !req
687. My half of the inheritance
and I'm leaving.Copy !req
688. It's not exactly that easy.Copy !req
689. Gentlemen?Copy !req
690. What's going on?Copy !req
691. You're being arrested for fraud.Copy !req
692. 'Ivy is the one who
committed fraud, not me.'Copy !req
693. Yes, well, you're the one
that put her up to itCopy !req
694. so that kinda
makes you the mastermindCopy !req
695. behind the whole thing.Copy !req
696. 'Well, unfortunately for you'Copy !req
697. Ivy would never
admit that to anyone.Copy !req
698. Otherwise, she would incriminate
herself in the process.Copy !req
699. Ivy?Copy !req
700. Actually, I've already
given my statementCopy !req
701. and in exchange
for ratting you outCopy !req
702. I got off scot-free.Copy !req
703. Uh-oh, Carol.Copy !req
704. Dinner's over,
and it looks likeCopy !req
705. Ivy just served you
your last supper.Copy !req
706. You realize this isn't
just hurting my momCopy !req
707. it's hurting me, too.Copy !req
708. Your mother
deserves to be punished.Copy !req
709. She defrauded all of usCopy !req
710. and we should have
done this months ago.Copy !req
711. You know, don't listen
to her, Lola.Copy !req
712. This has nothing
to do with fraud.Copy !req
713. This is all because I slept with
her husband two decades ago.Copy !req
714. But here's the thing, Lily.Copy !req
715. I never would have been with
William in the first placeCopy !req
716. if he were happy with you.Copy !req
717. One tip,
if you want things to goCopy !req
718. smoothly in the jail,
put her in solitary.Copy !req
719. You know, maybe my mom was
right keeping me from youCopy !req
720. all these years, because
the truth hasn't helped anybody.Copy !req
721. Lola, wait.
Let me take you home.Copy !req
722. You know I never meant for
any of this to happen, right?Copy !req
723. Oh, wow, what's next?Copy !req
724. You gonna walk
her down the aisle?Copy !req
725. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
726. Where are you going?Copy !req
727. They haven't even handed outCopy !req
728. the certificates
to the nominees yet.Copy !req
729. Did you really feel the
need to steal the spotlightCopy !req
730. from me tonight
because I was above youCopy !req
731. on-on the-on the back
page of some magazine?Copy !req
732. - No, that's ridiculous.
- Is it?Copy !req
733. "Cause you said in your speech'Copy !req
734. something about me being
brilliant and highbrowCopy !req
735. and if it's about that,
it's a bitCopy !req
736. of an overreaction,
don't you think?Copy !req
737. I mean, you know
none of that stuffCopy !req
738. means anything to me.Copy !req
739. Well, it means something to me.Copy !req
740. And it isn't
just about the magazine.Copy !req
741. I don't wanna live in someone
else's shadow anymore.Copy !req
742. I did it the whole year,
I was with LouisCopy !req
743. and then with Chuck before that.Copy !req
744. I'm sick of being behind
the scenes in a relationship.Copy !req
745. You-you're not behind
the scenes with me.Copy !req
746. That's what I love about us.
We are equals in this.Copy !req
747. Well, that's not how I feel.Copy !req
748. And it's clearly not how
other people view me.Copy !req
749. Maybe you are so focused on
how everyone else perceives youCopy !req
750. that you no longer
know who you are.Copy !req
751. And that's too bad,
'cause if you could only seeCopy !req
752. what I see..Copy !req
753. Mm, is it safe to assume
that you're ready toCopy !req
754. um, resume our
relationship again?Copy !req
755. What do you say we go
downstairs and grab a drinkCopy !req
756. together and continue
exploring our options?Copy !req
757. Okay.Copy !req
758. Actually, Diana, I, umCopy !req
759. just got a text from Chuck.Copy !req
760. He's back home, and he'sCopy !req
761. um, wondering where I am.Copy !req
762. So if I could justCopy !req
763. take a rain check
on that drink..Copy !req
764. then I'll just see you
at the office.Copy !req
765. 'Wait a minute!'Copy !req
766. Serena, give me
a minute, please.Copy !req
767. Hey, look.Copy !req
768. I'm sorry for not being
truthful with you today.Copy !req
769. And for cheating on your
mother all those years ago.Copy !req
770. That's between you and mom.Copy !req
771. But you lied to me
today to protect Lola.Copy !req
772. You left me when
I was four years oldCopy !req
773. and when I tracked you down
you wouldn't even see me.Copy !req
774. All I ever wanted my
whole life was a fatherCopy !req
775. and all you ever did
was avoid meCopy !req
776. and then now when you
find out about LolaCopy !req
777. you just rush to be by her side.Copy !req
778. Well, you broke my mom's heartCopy !req
779. and now you just broke mine.Copy !req
780. Rufus.Copy !req
781. Don't get up.
I'm not gonna be long.Copy !req
782. Apparently, you did
have a dinner tonightCopy !req
783. or so I read from a newsfeedCopy !req
784. about you getting
your sister arrested.Copy !req
785. Carol hurt this family too badly
to just get away with it.Copy !req
786. You sound just like your mother.Copy !req
787. Well, I'll take that
as a compliment.Copy !req
788. My mother would
have done anythingCopy !req
789. to preserve our family name.Copy !req
790. No matter the consequencesCopy !req
791. to the actual
family members, right?Copy !req
792. I'll bet you even
paid off the nurseCopy !req
793. to testify against Ivy.Copy !req
794. You know, I-I thought
we'd grown togetherCopy !req
795. but if this is
who you wanna be..Copy !req
796. I don't wanna have
anything to do with it.Copy !req
797. Rufus, are you saying
you'd like a divorce?Copy !req
798. 'Cause where exactly
are you gonna findCopy !req
799. some other Upper East Side womanCopy !req
800. to take care of you
the way I have?Copy !req
801. Spoken like a true Rhodes.Copy !req
802. You just made my decision for usCopy !req
803. to spend some time apart
that much easier.Copy !req
804. So... thank you.Copy !req
805. Oh, hey. How was your day?Copy !req
806. I've decided to delete
certain disturbing imagesCopy !req
807. of my mother's past
from my mind.Copy !req
808. And attempt
a relationship with her.Copy !req
809. Well, before you two
start bondingCopy !req
810. and having spa weekends together
maybe you should see this.Copy !req
811. Elizabeth Fisher e-mailed me
that picture a few minutes ago.Copy !req
812. 'Take a look
at the date in the corner.'Copy !req
813. It's right before you were born.Copy !req
814. But Diana said Elizabeth
couldn't get pregnant.Copy !req
815. Well, I guess she lied to you.Copy !req
816. Jack probably put her up to it.Copy !req
817. Jack? What does he
have to do with this?Copy !req
818. Turns out he's the one
funding Diana.Copy !req
819. He could have paid her to tell
you whatever you wanted to hear.Copy !req
820. And had her pretend Elizabeth'sCopy !req
821. donated blood was really hers.Copy !req
822. 'But if Elizabeth
really is my mother'Copy !req
823. then why would she
deny being the donor?Copy !req
824. Something still doesn't add up.Copy !req
825. You were right.Copy !req
826. The problem wasn't your success.Copy !req
827. It was me.Copy !req
828. Somehow between being
traded for a hotelCopy !req
829. and selling out for a tiara,
I lost my true self.Copy !req
830. But I wanna be found.Copy !req
831. Could you possibly help?Copy !req
832. I have a feeling that
the real Blair WaldorfCopy !req
833. is a lot closer than you think.Copy !req
834. Wasn't all that
long ago that she and ICopy !req
835. were working side-by-side
at "W"Copy !req
836. and I totally fell for her.Copy !req
837. And what was that girl like?Copy !req
838. That girl is,
uh, fiercely strong.Copy !req
839. Independent,
outspoken, beautifulCopy !req
840. capable of anything,
and no man or magazineCopy !req
841. should be able to
take that away from her.Copy !req
842. She sounds great.Copy !req
843. I look forward to
meeting her again.Copy !req
844. Uh, I can't believe
Lily did this to me.Copy !req
845. Neither can I,
but you have to stopCopy !req
846. thinking about your sister
and start doing what'sCopy !req
847. best for our daughter.Copy !req
848. 'With you under arrest,
it's going to be very difficult'Copy !req
849. 'for you to access your money.'Copy !req
850. If you sign over
power of attorney to meCopy !req
851. I give you my word that
I'll take care of LolaCopy !req
852. 'and I will get you
the best damn lawyers'Copy !req
853. 'your mother's
inheritance can buy.'Copy !req
854. You really care
about her, don't you?Copy !req
855. I just wanna do the right thing.Copy !req
856. 'You did the right thing.'Copy !req
857. Carol never should have
put you in this position.Copy !req
858. I want you to know
I'm not like her.Copy !req
859. I might have... come to New YorkCopy !req
860. because Carol paid me toCopy !req
861. but once I met youCopy !req
862. the only thing
that mattered to meCopy !req
863. was feeling like I was
a part of your family.Copy !req
864. So you've said,
but there is, umCopy !req
865. nothing to be done
about that, is there?Copy !req
866. I could tear up this check.Copy !req
867. Lily, please.Copy !req
868. Just let me earn back
a place in your heart.Copy !req
869. Goodbye, Ivy.Copy !req
870. - Hello?
- 'I did what you asked.'Copy !req
871. I'll sign Carol's
half of the estateCopy !req
872. over to you when
I get to the apartment.Copy !req
873. Thank you. We both know she
does not deserve that moneyCopy !req
874. and your getting it away from
her is the least you could doCopy !req
875. after what I found out
about you two today.Copy !req
876. But you are going to take
care of Lola, right?Copy !req
877. That was our deal.Copy !req
878. 'What kind of a monster
do you think I am?'Copy !req
879. You think just because
she's a productCopy !req
880. of your extramarital affair
that I would punish Lola.Copy !req
881. - I wouldn't do that.
- 'Why don't I believe you?'Copy !req
882. See you soon.Copy !req
883. On second thought..Copy !req
884. Take me to JFK.Copy !req
885. What do you want?Copy !req
886. I know we've had
our ups and downs.Copy !req
887. Well, mostly downs.Copy !req
888. But... we're sisters now.Copy !req
889. Half. What's your point?Copy !req
890. I don't know a ton
about being a siblingCopy !req
891. but I have a hunch that
uniting against parentsCopy !req
892. is a pretty major
bonding experience.Copy !req
893. I was thinking the best way for
you to get back at your momCopy !req
894. is by helping me get
my mom out of jail.Copy !req
895. You never really stood a chance
of exposing me as Gossip GirlCopy !req
896. and I'm not really
interested in being your sisterCopy !req
897. all of a sudden.Copy !req
898. So please just stay away
from me and my family.Copy !req
899. Okay, sis?Copy !req
900. I'll show you out now.Copy !req
901. You okay?Copy !req
902. The only thing
Diana and ElizabethCopy !req
903. have in common is my Uncle Jack.Copy !req
904. Take a look at this photo again.Copy !req
905. 'You see the tattoo
on the guy's arm?'Copy !req
906. - Yeah. So?
- So I know that tattoo.Copy !req
907. Check it out.Copy !req
908. The man in that photo
is not my dad.Copy !req
909. 'It's Jack.'Copy !req
910. What if all this subterfuge
over my mother's identityCopy !req
911. was actually disguising
the real question?Copy !req
912. It's not who's my mom.
It's who's my dad.Copy !req
913. Nate, I think Jack Bass
is my father.Copy !req