Gossip Girl 4x9

1. Gossip Girl here, your one and only source

2. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

3. 'Blair, don't fall off the wagon now.'

4. I haven't, it's just your ordinary

5. run-of-the-mill ex sex.

6. 'Fueled by the most common of aphrodisiacs.'

7. Mutual loathing and disdain.

8. 'Relationships with faculty'

9. 'are strictly forbidden.'

10. When I met you, I was running away from someone.

11. I'm sorry that I ran right into you.

12. Well, good luck, Serena.

13. Hey, Dan, I'll wait outside for you..

14. '.. for however long it takes.'

15. I really miss you.

16. Just give me a second chance.

17. I won't let you down.

18. You tried to destroy my friendship with Blair

19. my reputation, my academic career.

20. You failed every time, and now it's time for you to go.

21. A friends of ours thinks that we share mutual enemies

22. on the Upper East Side, and, well, I could really use

23. some help from the inside right now.

24. What exactly did you have in mind?

25. Where is she?

26. And who am I?

27. That's one secret I'll never tell.

28. You know you love me. XOXO.

29. Gossip Girl.

30. On the Upper East Side

31. the possibilities are endless.

32. Dom or Krug.

33. Winston or Cartier.

34. Tory or Stella.

35. Eventually, even the people with everything have to choose.

36. Hey, why are you guys eating?

37. I thought we were going to Sarabeth's.

38. Uh, we decided we can spread out better here.

39. There's more room to work.

40. On what? Your calculus homework?

41. Huh, uh, your love life.

42. It's a little something called Dan versus Nate.

43. We're here to help.

44. And we brought protractors.

45. A Venn diagram?

46. Really? Y-you seriously expect me to make

47. this monumental decision with color pencils and graph paper?

48. Don't mock. Elliot got an 800 on his math SAT.

49. Mm-hmm. Probability, set theory.

50. It's, uh, basically what they do

51. when you join an online dating service.

52. Okay, E's Harmony, I will submit to your method.

53. But just so you know, I did choose.

54. I called Dan right after I broke up with Colin.

55. And Nate showed up and said some things

56. that I couldn't ignore.

57. And then?

58. Well, I... ignored him, ran up to my room

59. and haven't spoken to either since.

60. That's a familiar coping mechanism.

61. Well, let's see how you cope with this.

62. "Why did Colin Forrester leave Columbia students

63. "eager to learn about the psychology of business?

64. Answer. His funny business with Serena van der Woodsen."

65. Mom, you have to call them

66. and make them print a retraction and an apology.

67. You know that's not true.

68. Half of New York saw you kiss him at the ballet.

69. Dean Reuther would like to see us in her office.

70. Well, looks like our..

71. compatibility worksheet will have to wait.

72. Hey, Serena, it's me. Uh, I saw your thing in "The Post."

73. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn

74. is a great place to avoid nasty looks.

75. Unless you... throw your recycling in the regular trash

76. or try to open a giant chain store with questionable

77. labor practices, but, uh, anyway, call me.

78. I left her the same message.

79. Only without the lame Brooklyn joke.

80. But you shouldn't wait by your phone, man.

81. Well, last I checked the only thing Serena wanted from you

82. was to make some billionaire jealous.

83. Oh, you mean the same thing she wanted from you?

84. Why are you even here? I assume you're responsible.

85. I totally understand if you guys are still

86. mad at me for what happened with Serena

87. but obviously, you miss each other.

88. I'll take that awkward pause as a yes.

89. Don't think this means I've been calling your name in my sleep.

90. It's not like I've been writing Mrs. Nate Humphrey

91. in my notebook.

92. There's nothing like a friendly benefit

93. to start a day of meetings about getting the empire back on top.

94. You do thrive in that position.

95. I'm sure your Black and White Ball for the Hotel Association

96. will remind everyone of that.

97. And with your glow, Anne Archibald will beg you

98. to be the face of her new foundation.

99. It's a hormonal response to orgasm, nothing more.

100. What else could it be?

101. What indeed.

102. Too bad it couldn't get me an 8 o'clock reservation at the Lion.

103. While I love to delay..

104. your gratification, I can curb your cravings

105. if you'd care to join me there tonight before my party.

106. You have a reservation? Tonight?

107. I can tell my business associates something came up.

108. Unless you object.

109. Nothing wrong with a lobster potpie between friends.

110. I'll see you at 8:00.

111. Dorota.

112. I need Sam Brocato and an assortment of Chloe

113. that's subtle but sexy.

114. For your meeting with Mrs. Archibald?

115. No, for my dinner with Chuck.

116. And I see your brain trying to translate

117. the implications from Polish, but there are none.

118. So stop thinking and do.

119. Delucie, it's Chuck Bass.

120. I need a favor. Two for dinner at 8:00.

121. I wouldn't ask, but it's important.

122. Great.

123. You can at least try to hide your disappointment.

124. Well, I have nothing to hide.

125. I simply want to put this behind us.

126. Even if I have to wear a scarlet letter

127. for something I didn't do?

128. Dean Reuther, I'm sorry you have to disrupt your day

129. with such trivial matters.

130. It's hardly trivial, Mrs. Humphrey.

131. I'm sure you saw the wall of paparazzi at the campus gates.

132. Well, I assure you, none of us

133. is interested in this kind of media attention.

134. I hope you'll let our family

135. make it up to you with an endowment.

136. Maybe you could use it to build a moat around the school

137. keep out the press.

138. The only thing I'd like from your family

139. is to withdraw your daughter from our university.

140. What? Over a gossip column?

141. Hundreds of parents have called concerned about teachers.

142. I'm sorry, Serena.

143. I have to look at the bigger picture.

144. It's no longer just your education

145. that's being disrupted.

146. Well, I'm sure you've realized that Serena

147. was accepted at other Ivy League institutions.

148. Mom, please.

149. Well, getting out of the city

150. is probably your best course of action.

151. We can refund her tuition

152. and I am happy to facilitate a transfer.

153. I think you misunderstood me.

154. Serena chose Columbia.

155. And despite your judgment, she is the victim here.

156. And I'm sure "The Times" would love to do an article

157. about a Dean who tolerates professors in power positions

158. exploiting female students.

159. Well, I hope you'll consider my offer.

160. I swear, I thought I was over Serena

161. until I realized how much Juliet had come between us.

162. I just felt like we had to try again.

163. Is that what you were tellin' her after the ballet?

164. Yeah, until you showed up.

165. I haven't heard from her since.

166. Nah, me neither.

167. So, look, you and I are friends

168. and we both like the same girl.

169. We tried pretending that we didn't.

170. But we do.

171. And we tried to act like we don't care that we're friends.

172. But we do. Oh.

173. That was good. That was good.

174. So-so what if we both take our best shot

175. and like the gentlemen we are

176. agree to be okay with whoever she picks?

177. What are you tryin' to say? Let the best man win?

178. 'Cause I just did.

179. I think Dean Reuther was actually trembling.

180. - You were very impressive. - I was, wasn't I?

181. Thank you for believing in me. It means a lot.

182. 'Well, promise me no more surprises.'

183. You know everything, I swear.

184. Jenny. Ah.

185. That's the kind of surprise I like.

186. I wish I could say the same.

187. I'm gonna say hi to Eric and Elliot.

188. Oh, nice to see you too, Serena.

189. Well, she's had a rough day.

190. I thought you weren't coming until the holidays. Oh.

191. Jenny has something she needs to tell you.

192. Uh... yeah.

193. This girl, Juliet Sharp, called me in Hudson

194. and asked for my help to take Serena down.

195. Now... I know Serena still hates me so

196. I might've done something like this last year, but not now.

197. Well, Serena has filled me in and luckily

198. Juliet's reign is over now that she's failed

199. to get Serena kicked out of Columbia.

200. Well, I don't know, um, she said she was gonna

201. leak a story to "Page Six."

202. Yeah, I-I'm sorry, if I thought she was serious

203. I would've come to you sooner.

204. Um, she also said that..

205. she knew more and she wasn't afraid to use it.

206. Thank you, Jenny, you did the right thing..

207. and I will take it from here.

208. Okay.

209. Well, I know you have to get back to MoMA.

210. And your abstract expressionism day with mom

211. but it's been nice having you, even for a minute.

212. - Thanks, dad. - Mm.

213. Mwah. Bye.

214. Yeah, everything's in place on my end.

215. Vanessa has the boys set, too.

216. Looks like Serena will finally get what she deserves.

217. Well, maybe I miss the Upper East Side after all.

218. Watch out, S.

219. Looks like Brooklyn finally has a team again.

220. And this time, they brought in a ringer.

221. It is so nice to see you again, Anne.

222. You too, Blair.

223. You know, even though things didn't work out with you

224. and Nathaniel, I've remained impressed with you.

225. Which is why you were the first person I thought of

226. to replace me as the face of the Girls Inc. Foundation.

227. I'd be honored to carry on your philanthropic tradition.

228. But I feel I need to tell you..

229. the board is very focused on the fact..

230. that the head of a female empowerment organization..

231. needs to be someone who's empowered herself.

232. Well, they're in luck, because power isn't just my mission

233. it's my mantra.

234. It's more... your personal relationships

235. that are in question.

236. I assume you don't mean Nate.

237. So I took your advice about the re-launch.

238. After tonight, it will be clear I'm back in the game..

239. with Victrola, Gimlet..

240. and the empire as my flagship.

241. Yeah, but a Black and White Ball? It's so, Hilton.

242. Conrad, not Paris.

243. I take your insult as flattering.

244. Well, don't.

245. People aren't checking into the empire

246. for a black-tie experience.

247. They come to live like Chuck Bass.

248. No rules, no repercussions.

249. They still can. The hotel is the same as ever.

250. But you aren't.

251. When you disappeared, you seriously damaged

252. your brand and the hotel has paid the price.

253. People do change.

254. Not that I know if Chuck has

255. since I rarely associate with him anymore.

256. So what do you suggest?

257. If you want to rebuild, you need to commit

258. to being the hedonist everyone loves to hate.

259. No one wants a soft-hearted has-been

260. who's worried about dating Blair Waldorf.

261. Trust me, a relationship with Blair

262. is the furthest thing from my mind.

263. People may forgive the choices you've made in your past.

264. But if you want this foundation in your future..

265. I'll need some assurance that Charles won't be a part of it.

266. He's not even part of my present.

267. You were right.

268. Lily... has requested a meeting.

269. Trust me, nothing drives a wedge between mother and daughter

270. more than Lily trying to cover up for Serena.

271. Why hide your talents in Hudson?

272. I didn't wanna cross any more lines

273. trying to defend myself against Blair.

274. But... when you told me

275. they went after Vanessa at the ballet, I had to help.

276. Blair's pathological for sure, but half of what she does

277. is to protect Serena and she never pays

278. consequences or takes responsibility.

279. Which is exactly why we need

280. to turn everyone against Serena.

281. So she finally knows what it feels like to be an outsider.

282. Uh, I'd say you're pretty expert at this yourself.

283. I just like visual aides.

284. Uh, Nate and Dan are friends again?

285. Mm-hmm.

286. Great, so we just need to get Serena's phone.

287. I already did one better.

288. I replaced her SIM card with a new one

289. and I put all her contacts in so she can call out

290. but this phone has her actual SIM.

291. So we get all her incoming calls and texts.

292. And we can send whatever responses we want

293. and she'll never know because her phone's not even missing.

294. You know, if you stuck around here..

295. we would all be working for you in a week.

296. Okay, so you guys wait for incoming calls..

297. and I... am gonna go meet Lily.

298. I've been rethinking dinner.

299. I read a few more reviews and..

300. the crowds are big and the portions are small.

301. I read the same thing. Why waste our time on mediocrity?

302. Where exactly did you read that?

303. I assume the same place you did.

304. I didn't.

305. 'I lied because Anne Archibald'

306. doesn't want the face of her foundation

307. to be associated with Chuck Bass.

308. What's your excuse?

309. KC thinks you're too good for my bad reputation

310. and it's hurting business.

311. Well, we can't very well risk our futures

312. for some meaningless dinner.

313. 'Even if it would be wrong'

314. 'to assume we're anything more than..'

315. old acquaintances sharing a side of spinach.

316. Why take the risk?

317. I'll see you at your place. Is now too soon?

318. Don't look at me like that.

319. You're the one who's black and white and read all over.

320. How do you think that happened? A secret relationship.

321. But Chuck and I are not in a relationship.

322. What are you? A foot fetishist? They're done.

323. B, come on.

324. You and Chuck have way too much history

325. to interact in a casual way.

326. I just don't wanna see you get hurt

327. or lose this opportunity with Anne.

328. I won't.

329. As long as I keep my heart locked away

330. and our interactions off the street.

331. As for your devoted suitors

332. have you finally decided on whom to crush?

333. No, and I have feelings for both and I don't wanna hurt either.

334. I have a whole new appreciation for "Big Love."

335. Well, even in Utah, only the men

336. get to have more than one spouse..

337. which, I've come to realize is extremely sexist.

338. You should add it to the Girls Inc. agenda.

339. But seriously, B, what am I supposed to do?

340. And please don't say make a list

341. because Eric and Elliot already tried that.

342. Lists are for kids.

343. Dilemmas like these require a meditative state.

344. I find mine by watching Dorota feed the ducks.

345. You can borrow her as long as she's back by dinner.

346. Thank you, but ducks and Dorota

347. couldn't compare to the Zen of shopping.

348. So, go forth to Madison and seek out the perfect dress.

349. And then follow your heart to the perfect guy.

350. Okay, sensei.

351. I actually have to get something

352. for the Black and White Ball tonight, so I have

353. nothing to lose, but remember when it comes to Chuck, you do.

354. Alright, so it's decided.

355. We'll each invite her on a best date ever.

356. Something that's true to who we are

357. shows her why we're the right guy.

358. Oh, so you're gonna take to her to one of those... weird movies

359. that doesn't make sense even when you read the subtitles?

360. No, I'm gonna take her to Frankie's 457.

361. She'll feel like she-she discovered something new.

362. A place where no one cares if she's Serena van der Woodsen.

363. Aww, dude. I won already.

364. Why, 'cause you're gonna go make her watch you play lacrosse?

365. She loves lacrosse..

366. especially when it's followed by dinner and per se..

367. and everyone we grew up with was talking about

368. how perfect we are together.

369. Alright. You're on. For tonight.

370. - Before Chuck's party. - 'Done.'

371. And whoever she says yes to..

372. is the guy she wants.

373. Never, never... to be discussed or debated again.

374. Okay. Hey, don't worry.

375. I'm not one of those winners who rubs it

376. in the loser's face, okay? Okay?

377. Seriously, how many times can Blair text that she knows

378. she's being paranoid, but she just wants to make sure that

379. Serena isn't going after Anne Archibald's foundation?

380. Well, we should write back and thank her for giving us

381. exactly the information we needed.

382. Wait, this is perfect.

383. Dan and Nate both invited her out tonight.

384. And Serena's gonna reject both of them.

385. 'But only after she toys with them enough'

386. to make them hate her, at least for tonight.

387. As much as I find KC personally abhorrent..

388. she's right about black and white.

389. It's decent rather than decadent.

390. You have something more devious in mind?

391. Saints and sinners have a nice feel.

392. There is something alluring about an angel

393. drawn to the dark side.

394. Or a devil redeemed.

395. Masquerade.

396. - Mmm. - Mmm.

397. Where inhibitions can't help but break free.

398. I'll let KC and Gossip Girl know.

399. Now... how to impress Anne..

400. with your virtue?

401. I could denounce your unseemly party.

402. A tasteful dinner..

403. in front of the whole board.

404. Impeccable plan.

405. This really is a beautiful friendship.

406. My black Balenciaga would be perfect

407. for the public to condemn me in.

408. - I love public. - I love condemnation.

409. I love you.

410. 'Course, no one does black like Dior.

411. 'I appreciate the tea, Mrs. Humphrey, but..'

412. I'm not really sure why I'm here.

413. Well, I knew you had a problem with Serena

414. when you tried to keep her out of Hamilton House.

415. But it's come to my attention that you are

416. also responsible for "Page Six".

417. Yes, well, I guess that's the thing.

418. You're not born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

419. You wanna eat, you have to work.

420. Yes, and it seems that you've made a career

421. out of harassing my daughter.

422. Serena and Colin are over.

423. Do not continue to jeopardize her future.

424. I won't mention Colin's name again. I swear.

425. If only he were the only teacher

426. Serena had an inappropriate relationship with.

427. I'm not sure what you're referring to.

428. Oh, I'm pretty sure that you are.

429. Something like that does not go down without a parent knowing.

430. I mean, boarding school?

431. Serena was a minor.

432. Anyway, knowing that it's a pattern..

433. might help Dean Reuther find her grounds for expulsion.

434. So, how much will it take

435. for you to leave my daughter alone?

436. Oh, I don't know.

437. This design is brilliant, and I have nothing like it.

438. But that one I could wear everywhere.

439. How is this better than Venn diagrams?

440. Maybe I should get both.

441. I-I thought the point was to choose.

442. Attention, party people.

443. Bass' Black and White

444. has added some fire and ice.

445. Whether you're a saint or a sinner

446. the afterlife never looked so good.

447. Great. Now, neither of these will work.

448. Should I be a saint or a sinner?

449. Dan versus Nate was hard enough.

450. I'm not touching good versus bad, Serena.

451. We're seeing you later.

452. We should go as Bacchus and Sergius.

453. Yes, we should.

454. Thanks, guys.

455. Thank you.

456. I'm not so sure white's your color.

457. What are you doing here?

458. I assume you mean, how can a poor girl like me

459. afford anything in a place like this?

460. You only have yourself to blame for Colin cutting you off.

461. Luckily, I have a new benefactor.

462. I think you know her.

463. Lily... van der Woodsen? Bass? Humphrey?

464. What is her last name?

465. Oh, you know what? I can just look at the check.

466. My mom already called the "The Post."

467. "Page Six" is printing a retraction.

468. Why would she give you anything?

469. I guess she didn't want the whole world

470. to know your other secret.

471. What a shame... for everyone to find out

472. what an embarrassment it is to have you as a daughter.

473. Hmm.

474. Hey, uh, you don't happen to be at the loft

475. with a blond we don't talk about?

476. I'm here. Serena's not.

477. Did you need me to leave before she gets here?

478. No, no, no, I was expecting her here at the park anyway.

479. I just... thought maybe my loft

480. 'was the only place she knew in Brooklyn.'

481. Thanks anyway.

482. 'Serena's not there waiting for me, is she?'

483. Why would she be?

484. I thought you scared her off

485. with your heartfelt declarations.

486. No, she was supposed to meet me at The Frick.

487. I don't know what happened, we must've

488. had some miscommunication.

489. They do seem to be your area of expertise.

490. In fact... you probably said

491. your share of inappropriate things during intercourse.

492. So what'd you do? Did you call a girl by another girl's name?

493. - 'Talk a little too dirty?' - It's not funny.

494. I may have uttered those three little words

495. that change everything, but she probably didn't even hear me.

496. Scientifically speaking, intense pleasure

497. does dull the other senses.

498. Relax, man, girls know that when a guy says that during sex

499. it doesn't mean "I love you".

500. It means, I love having sex with you.

501. Of course. Thanks.

502. For Mrs. Archibald and the ladies

503. I ordered Petrossian caviar and blini for appetizer.

504. Why would you do that? You know Mr. Chuck loves caviar.

505. But-but you love too. E-everyone loves—

506. Okay, fine, Dorota.

507. Since you badgered it out of me, yes, it's true.

508. Chuck said he loved me while in a compromising position.

509. - He did? - He did.

510. Oh, this is just like in book..

511. when a time traveler comes

512. to declare love for lost princess.

513. Yes, but unlike your dirty, long-haired Lothario

514. Chuck probably didn't mean it.

515. He simply blurted it out in the height of passion.

516. But Mr. Chuck does not seem like blurter.

517. Well, he's obviously become one, and I did the polite thing

518. and acted like I didn't hear.

519. You didn't say I love you back?

520. And be a weak, sniveling, stand by your man

521. who never runs a foundation or anything else?

522. No, I am an empowered woman, and I won't let three words

523. that were probably meaningless change that.

524. This is obviously distracting you from your work.

525. Did you pay Juliet off?

526. Uh, Bruce, let me call you back.

527. If you mean, did I ask Juliet to stop leaking information

528. to "Page Six"? The answer is yes.

529. You never believed that I didn't sleep with Colin, did you?

530. You just said that to the dean

531. so that I could stay at Columbia.

532. I wanted you to be able to move forward

533. and focus on your future.

534. What did she even say she has?

535. What's important is that it's taken care of.

536. She has nothing because I did nothing.

537. So, you believe her over me?

538. You know, you just let yourself get blackmailed for no reason.

539. Can you blame me?

540. It's not like you have a history of great decision making.

541. How can I when you disapprove of every choice I've ever made?

542. No matter how hard I try to do the right thing

543. you always just assume the worst.

544. Lobster potpie..

545. '... cheesecake in a jar and..'

546. John Delucie.

547. Chuck asked me to make sure everything was perfect.

548. Chuck did this?

549. So romantic.

550. Like in book when time traveler

551. sends sign of true love from future

552. and princess needs to get to grand ball where he is waiting.

553. And if she too late, the rift in the time-space continuum

554. close up forever.

555. Miss Blair? Uh, we have mixed company.

556. Tell Anne and the board, that I've been delayed

557. and unless you want to raise Ana in Poland

558. don't let them leave before I get back.

559. - Where you going? - Mm.

560. Straight to hell with all the other sinners.

561. Hey, what are you doing here?

562. We agreed to let this go after the text.

563. Yeah, I know, and she texted me that she'd meet me..

564. only she stood me up.

565. I'm guessing she did the same thing to you.

566. - Yeah. - What are you guys doing here?

567. This is really not a good time.

568. Yeah, and obviously you're not gonna end this, so we are.

569. You know how we both feel.

570. You have until midnight to decide.

571. Eric just texted Serena to see

572. how she's doing after the blow-out with her mom

573. 'and to make sure she's still on for dinner.'

574. Now, the only one left is Blair.

575. Here.

576. Give this resume to one of Anne Archibald's foundation

577. board members at dinner.

578. Tell them that Serena would like

579. to be considered for the position.

580. What do I do if Blair sees me?

581. Lie.

582. Looks like the battle between Brooklyn

583. and the Upper East Side has finally come to a head.

584. Word has it, lonely boy and golden boy

585. both declared their love.

586. They gave Cinderina

587. until midnight to decide.

588. That Carolina Herrera dress makes her look like an angel

589. but this decision is demonic.

590. 'I can't believe it.'

591. Dan and Nate will forgive for anything.

592. How do we keep her from making a choice?

593. We don't. We make it for her.

594. Take off your clothes and take out your credit card.

595. And the forces of evil are just getting started.

596. I should've known taking down Serena

597. involved wearing the perfect dress.

598. Well, anytime I can combine styling with revenge.

599. Plus, this isn't exactly my first masquerade party.

600. I'll see you inside.

601. Good luck, man.

602. Yeah, you, too.

603. Serena van der Woodsen.

604. - Thank you. - Go ahead.

605. That should keep Serena out long enough

606. for us to make her life hell.

607. I got Serena's resume to Anne, but Blair's not here.

608. She's here. I just spotted her.

609. 'Now, you just need to figure out a way'

610. to get the board meeting moved here.

611. I don't think these ladies wanna witness

612. Chuck's eternal damnation.

613. Tell Anne, that Blair's arranged a special surprise

614. to show her dedication to Girls Inc. and, Vanessa..

615. you really need to start showing more initiative.

616. Jenny's carrying you on this thing.

617. I know.

618. Hey, wh..

619. Serena, have you seen Chuck? Wait.

620. I know that..

621. you don't think you my being with him is a good idea

622. but you have bad ideas all the time.

623. 'I don't wanna lose the foundation, but what's wrong'

624. with wanting to keep it secret

625. just long enough to find out how he really feels?

626. I didn't approve of your thing with Colin

627. but at least I had the decency to talk to you about it.

628. Well, I didn't, but you should.

629. I know it's not my Bolognese.

630. No, Rufus. I'm sorry. It's delicious.

631. I'm just, I'm just upset about this Serena situation.

632. 'I thought we'd all moved on..'

633. '... and that Serena broke things off with Colin.'

634. "The Post" is apologizing.

635. The dean can't force Serena out of school

636. and by next semester this whole thing will be forgotten.

637. Well, it'd be a lot easier if Colin was the first teacher

638. that Serena had been involved with.

639. Really? Someone at Constance?

640. Boarding school.

641. Boarding school? Serena was just a kid.

642. Serena was never a kid. Believe me.

643. This was after the Shepherd wedding.

644. Pete Fairman. It didn't end well.

645. I was lucky I found a way... to handle it.

646. Well, just because it happened then

647. doesn't mean it's happening now.

648. Hey, listen, I'm sorry for

649. laying on the line like that earlier, it's just..

650. Serena, you have no idea the hell you've put me through.

651. It is me, right?

652. So, you ready?

653. As hard as it's gonna be, I-I know what I have to do.

654. Hi, uh, Eric and Serena van der Woodsen and Elliot Leichter.

655. Go on in.

656. What was that name again?

657. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought he told you.

658. Serena van der Woodsen.

659. Nice try... but she's already inside.

660. Well, that's a mistake because I'm her.

661. Sorry. Do you have ID?

662. I didn't come to rent a car.

663. Everyone here knows me.

664. Eric, can you get Chuck or KC?

665. And hurry, please. I don't want to keep him waiting.

666. Serena. Hey, there you are.

667. Excellent. Th-that was a kiss hello, right?

668. Not a kiss good-bye? I think I might need another to be sure.

669. Are you gonna tell Nate?

670. 'Let him know I'm, uh, I'm sorry.'

671. I mean, not sorry enough to want you to change your mind, but..

672. I avoided KC's prying eyes.

673. I appreciate that, and you being here half-dressed

674. but don't you have a denouncement to attend?

675. Dorota's distracting the board

676. with Delucie's cavatelli, until I get back.

677. I heard what you said.

678. What conversation are you referring to exactly?

679. Three one syllable words that under the circumstances

680. you may or may not have meant.

681. Do you want me to have meant them?

682. If they were true, I would wanna know.

683. Of course.

684. People do this, the irrational thought during sex.

685. They bark and scream out for God and their mothers.

686. Well, I should get back to Anne.

687. I meant it, Blair.

688. With all my heart.

689. You gonna say something this time?

690. I will, I-I mean..

691. I do.

692. You realize we can't have everything.

693. Anne won't be the only person who might think

694. you're weak for forgiving me.

695. And you helped build a business

696. based on being New York's bad boy bachelor.

697. I understand the consequences.

698. Are we willing to pay them?

699. Serena, what are you doing?

700. Looks like saints and sinners

701. aren't the only ones battling for souls tonight.

702. What say we go up in flames together?

703. It's no surprise, C and B, succumbed to the dark side.

704. But how about the boys from opposite sides of the bridge?

705. It's hard to get word when they're both lip-locked

706. with Serena van der Woodsen.

707. Lucky I have the pictures to prove it.

708. Anne? I can explain.

709. I'm not sure how this shows your dedication to Girls Inc.

710. You know, you lost any sympathy I may have had

711. for your previous choices the moment I saw you

712. kissing Charles in your underwear.

713. Shouldn't empowered women

714. get to have relationships too?

715. Being with Chuck doesn't make me any less Blair.

716. I'm sorry, but it does.

717. The man you're with may not be a reflection of you

718. but you will always be a reflection of him.

719. - That's not fair. - Maybe not.

720. But the sooner you accept it

721. the easier your decisions will be.

722. And please tell Serena while I appreciate

723. her interest in the position, she's not the type of girl

724. we're looking for either.

725. At least, she was polite.

726. I doubt we'll have that with KC.

727. Give me a minute. I have to go find Serena.

728. 'How could I have kissed either of you'

729. when I couldn't even get into the party?

730. So, someone dressed exactly like you, wearing your perfume

731. just happened to be attracted to both of us?

732. I-I don't know. I-I can't explain it.

733. So, this mystery person texted us from Paris too?

734. And used us to make some adjunct professor jealous

735. and stood us up?

736. No, I am partially responsible for this..

737. but I came here tonight to tell you how I felt.

738. Doesn't that count for more than a Gossip Girl blast?

739. We can't keep chasing you in circles.

740. You didn't make the choice. We made it for you.

741. - I didn't do this. - I'm with him.

742. So goodbye, Serena.

743. B, you know I didn't kiss both of them.

744. Do I? It's no worse than what you did to me and Chuck.

745. What?

746. I had nothing to do with you coming here in your underwear.

747. You knew what you had to lose.

748. I kept trying to figure out

749. why you would expose us..

750. and then Anne Archibald told me that you wanted

751. to be the face of her foundation.

752. Oh, come on. When are you gonna give it up?

753. I don't want everything that you want.

754. I couldn't be less interested.

755. So, Anne, Nate and Dan, are all liars?

756. That's a lot of people to blame, even for you.

757. Just admit you did the wrong thing.

758. Or maybe you don't even know what that is anymore.

759. You know, you're not the first person to say that today.

760. So, I guess it must be true.

761. You know, it was a bad choice thinking

762. that you'd be on my side.

763. Not as bad as my believing

764. that you'd ever be happy for my success.

765. Hey, whoa, Serena. Hey.

766. - Don't run off. - Why not?

767. Mom's not the only one who still sees me

768. as a messed up 16 year old.

769. No one can see that I've changed.

770. - No one cares. - I-I care.

771. You're my little brother. You're not enough.

772. Oh, you're just in time to hear KC tell me

773. how I've destroyed my bad boy business plan once and for all.

774. I warned you, but it turns out I was wrong.

775. This party is so decadent and in the private rooms

776. frankly, illegal.

777. The big romantic gesture showed the hedonist has a heart.

778. So, Blair's the perfect balance?

779. With the press this will get, you can expect

780. the hotel will be fully booked by Monday.

781. I'm already getting calls for personal appearances.

782. In fact, I would love to get you some photo ops.

783. You know, Chuck Bass' girlfriend at store openings

784. fashion shows, that kind of thing.

785. Call me and we'll schedule.

786. It appears the rules are there to be broken.

787. We can have everything.

788. No, you can. It's me who can't.

789. Hey, hey, it's okay. Come on, I got you.

790. In the battle between good and evil

791. score one for the sinners.

792. Hi. Sorry.

793. My friend's had a little bit too much to drink.

794. Looks like S, could end up

795. the next saintly sacrifice.

796. Pleasant dreams, sweet angel.

797. - I did no.. - I know.

798. I'll give you the money to start whatever foundation you want.

799. It won't change anything. Anne's right.

800. As long as I'm with you, I'm Hillary in the White House

801. and I wanna be Hillary, Secretary of State

802. but... with better hair.

803. Then you'll find another way to show the world

804. you're a force to be reckoned with.

805. We'll build our futures together.

806. I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere.

807. And now, I need to follow my head.

808. You don't need to choose between them.

809. Look at Brad and Angelina. They takes turns on top.

810. Yeah, but she won an Oscar first.

811. I'm sorry, but I have to be Blair Waldorf

812. before I can be Chuck Bass' girlfriend.

813. I love you.

814. I love you, too.

815. I don't expect you to wait.

816. If two people are meant to be together..

817. eventually they'll find their way back.

818. - Do you really believe that? - I do.

819. So do I.

820. - Still no Juliet? - No.

821. But I gotta get back to Hudson before my luck runs out

822. and I run smack into Blair and my dad.

823. Well, it was nice to finally win one for team Brooklyn.

824. You sure you can't stay and celebrate?

825. I can try texting Juliet again.

826. That's the thing about destiny.

827. Instead of too many choices..

828. you suddenly have none.

829. The prince of darkness finally sees the light

830. only to realize it's no longer an option.

831. And the time for love has come and gone.

832. Well, not to sound like a high school cheerleader

833. but I-I'm-I'm glad we were in this together.

834. You're not hot enough to be a high school cheerleader..

835. but me, too, otherwise, I'd probably be looking

836. for a reason to blame you.

837. Yeah, you did make a damn good scapegoat.

838. Hey, you wanna go play "Red Dead Redemption"?

839. One ground rule, though. One.

840. Serena van der Woodsen..

841. - Does not exist. - Perfect.

842. The rest of us just have to keep moving forward.

843. Yes, of course. I understand. She's over 18.

844. Yea.. Well, thank you, for your call.

845. That was Dean Reuther.

846. 'Your sister just withdrew from Columbia.'

847. Alienate everybody, drop out of school

848. run away, that sounds like Serena.

849. You're right.

850. I'm not sure there's anything we can do anymore.

851. Accept the choice is out of your hands.

852. It's up to the fates to decide.

853. XOXO. Gossip Girl.