Gossip Girl 3x8

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. The only thing Nate's ever voted for is "American idol." Tripp was the same way.

3. Grandfather can be very persuasive.

4. (Man) Oh, Olivia! Oh, my god. Are you— you're not...

5. Fleur. - I lied because i-i care about you.

6. And what happens to Carter? I am sorry i had to lie to you.

7. No, you're not. I settled your debt with the buckleys.

8. Without your celebrities, we're buried in the city section.

9. Now we're front page news. You got my clients photographed at the hottest party

10. of the year. Your job is safe. And, Serena, that job

11. Get back to me after date two.

12. And who am i?

13. That's a secret I'll never tell.

14. You know you love me.

15. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

16. In Manhattan, some parties are v.I.P. Only.

17. others are strictly private.

18. but some parties are political,

19. and those lines are drawn

20. by the most established of the establishment.

21. hey. You want to use that?

22. And once those lines are drawn, they can never be crossed.

23. A Michael mann political thriller? That's good news. Wonderful news.

24. And my source tells me

25. Michael's only considering two actors for the lead.

26. Patrick and Ryan phillippe.

27. Well, then he's in. Ryan totally lost his mojo

28. after Reese got with Jake. Don't "Jake" me, Serena. This is serious.

29. Your job is to get Patrick's photo taken with politicians

30. at the Van Der bilt election party tonight. But, k.C., i can't.

31. The producers will eat it up. Plus, it'll totally help him

32. get into character for his audition next week.

33. I'm kind of on the outs with the Van Der bilts right now.

34. Serena, what's p.R. Rule number one?

35. My only value is my social network.

36. But I'm afraid that network

37. is currently one Archibald short. Make it happen.

38. Clean up your mess or clean out your desk. No, that one.

39. hey. How long you been awake?

40. Mm. Not long.

41. Remind me to send the Van Der bilt campaign

42. a muffin basket. Vanessa's been completely m.I.A.

43. Since she started shooting that documentary.

44. She was here for, like, ten seconds yesterday,

45. I mean, dinner was great last night.

46. I just wish we'd gotten back in time to see it.

47. Yeah. Sorry i-i dragged you to that gelato shop.

48. I had a really bad sugar craving.

49. You know what? I bet it's online.

50. No. Uh, you can't watch it like that.

51. Th-the—the quality's so bad, you know?

52. I'd rather you watch it in h.D. Okay. When? I'm sorry.

53. I'm just excited. It's been a while since i had

54. a girlfriend on a late night talk show.

55. Um, well, I'm—I'm sure i can get a copy from k.C.

56. Okay.

57. Ho ho! Watch out.

58. It's bathroom boy.

59. Clear the way.

60. Uh, good morning to you, too.

61. Welcome to my new suite. We may patent the media system—

62. interactive, high-def 3-d gaming.

63. Instant access to the world's largest media library

64. and all in-house food, spa services.

65. Just touch the button.

66. Blair's favorite part—

67. real-time surveillance playback.

68. It's naughty.

69. Well, it certainly is a step up from the Columbia dorms.

70. Most penthouses are, Nathaniel.

71. There's two bedrooms.

72. Feel free to crash any time you like.

73. Tripp, Maureen. Hey, Chuck.

74. Hey. All this behind-the-scenes stuff is really great.

75. Thanks again for letting me film Tripp's campaign.

76. Oh, no problem.

77. Charles. Well, you've outdone yourself. My pleasure, sir.

78. I can't think of a better way to christen the ballroom

79. This morning's polling numbers aren't great.

80. We're down where we should be up, and where we are up,

81. we're barely hanging on. That's what makes it exciting, right?

82. Excuse me. He's right, Nathaniel.

83. Things aren't where they should be.

84. The buckleys' dirty pool is starting to work.

85. Thanks to Serena, we weren't able to expose it.

86. Well, isn't there something we can do?

87. It's election day. At this point, Nathaniel,

88. it would take nothing short of a miracle.

89. Hey. I was running errands,

90. and k.C. Asked me to drop off your Jimmy fallon interview.

91. Great. I guess that means you've seen it.

92. Yeah.

93. You know i didn't mean what i said.

94. Oh, don't—don't worry about that. I'm sure Dan understands. He hasn't even seen it.

95. I don't know what to do. I have to fix this,

96. and meanwhile, keep him away from TV and the Internet

97. Um... - Serena just, uh, came by

98. to tell us how much she likes Patrick. Oh.

99. Yeah. Uh, oddly, he's my favorite part of my job.

100. It's actually pretty fun having a fake relationship.

101. Talk about no pressure. I'm slightly relieved.

102. I heard some pretty crazy stuff about Patrick after we broke up.

103. Supposedly he went a bit method

104. Are filtering all the scripts that get to him.

105. So far, he's only been allowed to read a political thriller.

106. to my ex-girlfriend about her fake boyfriend who is also

107. my current girlfriend's ex, uh, you—you—you could probably

108. get us a copy of that fallon interview, right? But first, um, Serena,

109. you should probably get to Patrick's

110. before fedex does with more scripts. - Good-bye.

111. Okay. - Bye.

112. S. I hope you're not here looking for an apology.

113. No, i was just dropping something off to Olivia.

114. Oh, that's right. I momentarily forgot your job

115. is more important than your friends.

116. I have a couple minutes. Do you want to get a latte?

117. If by "getting a latte" you mean apologizing, then no, i don't.

118. Out of respect for our many years of friendship,

119. I'm willing to let what you did slide. - What i did?

120. Okay, we both made decisions that hurt the other.

121. We both feel badly. Now let's move on.

122. I actually have to go meet Chuck right now.

123. We've been going nonstop, prepping

124. for Tripp Van Der bilt's election party tonight.

125. Speaking of which, i noticed you're not on the guest list.

126. That can only mean one thing— Nate still hates you

127. for whatever it is you did to him. I'd check your sources, b.

128. And i am going tonight, with my handsome boyfriend, Patrick.

129. Since your boyfriend's working the party,

130. who are you going with, one of your knockoffs?

131. Since you're so interested, i have made real friends here.

132. I just don't share your need to brag.

133. Okay.

134. Well, i can't wait to meet them tonight.

135. I need a friend. Stat.

136. I'm your friend.

137. Please.

138. I'm not friends with staff.

139. You need to get that?

140. - No, it's not important.

141. This is Nate. Leave a message.

142. I'm just saying, if this morning's polls

143. put you neck and neck with Sullivan,

144. then there's still time, so why not let grandfather help you?

145. Nate, I've said it before, and I'll say it again—

146. I'd rather lose fair and square than win with a dirty campaign.

147. Yeah, well, asking grandfather for help

148. (Man) Hey! Someone's drowning over here! Call 9-1-1!

149. (Man) Help! I can't swim!

150. Help! I'm drowning!

151. It look like Tripp's prayers have been answered

152. with another miracle on the Hudson.

153. Are the Van Der bilts blessed with good luck or good timing?

154. (Man) You're watching New York 1—

155. news all day.

156. Just this morning,

157. congressional candidate Tripp Van Der bilt

158. rescued a man who was drowning in the Hudson river.

159. One minute I'm walking along the pier,

160. and the next thing i know i lose my balance,

161. and boom! I'm in the Hudson. If it wasn't

162. Ten hours till the polls close. Let's seize the day, gentlemen.

163. Where are we with media? I've locked down coverage from every local station

164. for the midday news. Time to call Couric. She owes me a favor.

165. Maybe she can squeeze Tripp into the evening news.

166. Remember, until the polls close, any time someone mentions

167. the name Tripp Van Der bilt,

168. it should be followed by the word "hero."

169. Well, i guess miracles do happen,

170. huh, grandfather?

171. Our family is really blessed.

172. So is that man who almost died.

173. William, can you take a look at this?

174. Absolutely. No, thank you. Thank you so, so much.

175. Hey. - My rescue footage is gonna be on the news tonight.

176. William told me to go out and drum up some interest,

177. Yeah. He's over there. Tell him bye for me.

178. I've gotta go home and get my tapes together. Okay.

179. What are you doing here? I-i left you a message. Y-you never called me back.

180. Yeah, well, as you can see, I've been sort of busy.

181. and Patrick Roberts on the guest list for Tripp's party tonight. What? Are you kidding me?

182. Nate, my job is at stake. Oh, that's funny.

183. You used me for your Buckley photo scam.

184. All i need is an invite, plus one.

185. Serena.

186. Tripp, hey. I-i voted for you.

187. Thanks. You coming tonight?

188. Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it.

189. Thanks, Nate.

190. (Man) Tripp, can i get you to sign off on this?

191. Washington square park, bobst library, bar none.

192. I even tried spinning the cube in St. mark's place,

193. but not a friend in sight.

194. I just know this wouldn't be so hard at Yale. What about that Vanessa girl?

195. Now feel free to see yourself out.

196. Oh, my god.

197. How does that girl have the Valentino 360 bag?

198. I'm still wait-listed. Who? Where?

199. At the register.

200. Quick. How do i look?

201. Superior.

202. No one follow me.

203. I love your 360.

204. Thanks. I just got it. Very smart to pair it with Peter som.

205. You're good.

206. I know. I'm Blair. May i?

207. Oh, please. Do.

208. The moment i saw it,

209. it joined my list of Blair's most wanted.

210. Believe me when i tell you

211. i don't say this very often—

212. but i think i like you.

213. Well, give me those peep toes and maybe I'll believe you.

214. Sorry. My Alexandre birmans are sacred.

215. Amen.

216. By the way, I'm Brandeis.

217. How would you like to come with me to a fabulous party tonight?

218. "Mat." Are you joking? Oh, not in the least. It's going on the end of "door,"

219. which makes it a triple word score, scrabble bitches.

220. That's my son. Wow. The Humphreys are—are so serious

221. about their scrabble games. Oh, yeah.

222. Mm-hmm. You two are so sweet to come over and entertain Jenny.

223. Poor thing. Well, she's been cooped up with this virus for a week.

224. Really getting sick of, uh, TV and Internet.

225. Oh, i need a s.A.R.S. Mask. Um, can i— can i borrow your phone?

226. Yeah, go ahead. I keep leaving mine in the dorm.

227. - That's 33.

228. A whopping 33 points.

229. "Jetdoorman"-- is that a word?

230. (Dan) Don't you mean "jetdoormat"?

231. Oh, jetdoormat. (Dan) S.A.R.S. Mask!

232. So it's election day. Who are you voting for?

233. I don't know. That's a good question.

234. You know, I'm not really sure

235. who I'm gonna vote for. He's awfully young.

236. You know, I'm not really—

237. what?

238. sure who I'm gonna vote for. He's awfully young.

239. Wow. You look hot.

240. Same. I have great news.

241. Yeah. So do i. You first.

242. I just finished reading a fantastic script.

243. The political thriller? No, it's a remake of "leaving las Vegas."

244. In the garbage. I'm telling you, this one's amazing.

245. Care to join me in a little research? No. No research.

246. Your team has been pushing very hard for the political one.

247. And i have worked my butt off to get you into this party tonight.

248. Yeah, but Miley Cyrus is already signed on

249. to play the Elisabeth shue role.

250. You need to get ready.

251. This party is a very big deal for both of us.

252. There will be tons of important political people there tonight.

253. Forget Vegas. It's all about D.C., okay?

254. Put on some clothes, please.

255. Hey, Vanessa.

256. Listen, I'm really busy. Uh, this couldn't wait?

257. Honestly, no.

258. And i thought it'd be better

259. to talk away from the campaign chaos.

260. Mm. I'm in a really awkward position,

261. so I'm just gonna say what i have to say. - Okay.

262. What happened at the Hudson this morning

263. wasn't what it looked like.

264. What do you mean?

265. The guy you and Tripp saved—

266. he didn't fall.

267. I think it— i think it was set up.

268. That's ridiculous.

269. I have it all on tape.

270. Well, has anyone else seen the footage?

271. No, but i-i already agreed to sell it to New York 1,

272. and I'm going to meet Caroline lowe,

273. one of the producers, at cafeteria.

274. Whoa. Wait. Vanessa, if you do that, then— Nate, I'm sorry,

275. some high school thing with Blair and the mean girls.

276. Someone set Tripp up to look like a hero,

277. and i think we both know the person most likely

278. to orchestrate something like that is your grandfather.

279. I have so much respect for Tripp,

280. and he has been so generous to let me film his campaign.

281. Should i warn him so he can prepare a strategy

282. for damage control? Don't worry about telling Tripp.

283. Okay? I'll tell him.

284. I'm sorry, Nate.

285. No.

286. This election may be too close to call,

287. but when it's his family's honor or his own,

288. Nate Archibald has the number on speed dial.

289. Yes, uh, New York 1, please.

290. Caroline lowe.

291. wow. Thank you so much for explaining that.

292. Hey, we were just discussing

293. the senate committee on appropriations.

294. Maybe you'd like to join us. Oh, my god. Hello.

295. Thank you so much.

296. See? Isn't this great?

297. You've got the—the perfect capitol hill vibe.

298. I gotta hit the can.

299. Okay.

300. He's great. Do you wanna...

301. oh, my god. That's senator proctor.

302. Wow. You really do know everyone.

303. Oh, i don't know everyone. I'll be right back.

304. Hey, Blair. Hey. Do you see that gorgeous blonde in proenza schouler

305. talking to those high-profile politicians?

306. That's my best friend Brandeis.

307. aren't the first thing most people look for in friends. They must really love her,

308. because when she introduced us, they seemed thrilled to meet me.

309. He's over at the bar, getting me a drink right now.

310. I feel so lucky. He's so attentive. It doesn't take much, does it?

311. What? No one's ever accused you of saying no.

312. hey, where is the scrabble dictionary?

313. I could swear "squiffy's" a word.

314. Oh.

315. Scrabble dictionary.

316. Bathroom boy?

317. All right, you know our next guest

318. from the "endless knights" movie franchise—

319. please welcome the lovely Olivia Burke, everybody!

320. She's cute.

321. Served four years on city council

322. and ten in the state legislature.

323. He was a supporter of John mccain,

324. stumping for him all across rural upstate New York

325. in the 2008 presidential race.

326. Someone just told me you're Vanessa Abrams. Is that right?

327. Yeah. - So who did you end up selling the footage to?

328. My office just called, said that you sold

329. a woman named Caroline lowe.

330. I met her two hours ago.

331. I'm Caroline lowe.

332. So who was the woman in the restaurant?

333. Finally. It's your turn.

334. Oh, you know what? I just realized i have

335. an, uh, environmental studies paper due tomorrow.

336. Oh, wait. Um, I'll just get my stuff.

337. No, you know what? Stay. You're winning,

338. and you gotta keep Jenny company.

339. I'll text you later, okay? Did my son just walk out

340. before playing a "q" on a double letter?

341. That is so not the Humphrey way.

342. My computer.

343. Hmm. - Hmm.

344. You know, i am sensing something else is going on here.

345. Well, you didn't actually think they wanted

346. to play five hours worth of board games with us, did you?

347. Mm.

348. Uh, no. He's probably getting mobbed by fans right now.

349. He's—he's just still on the way to get us a drink. Doubt it,

350. because he downed both your drinks

351. and then ordered two more— for himself.

352. Where is he? - Don't worry. I took care of it.

353. I had him taken up to his suite.

354. What? Why? - He's bombed.

355. He's drunker than Paula Abdul during Hollywood week.

356. having been in that state so many times yourself.

357. I guess you just met your match.

358. But since i just found out that your date is really work,

359. you may want to play closer attention to him next time.

360. This is Nate's big night at Chuck's hotel,

361. so sorry, s., i did what i had to do... again.

362. So you're out with this guy, and he goes to the bathroom. Yes.

363. He comes back... Well, it was— it was our first date,

364. and he goes to the restroom and when he comes back,

365. his—his shirt was on inside out. Uh, uh, check, please.

366. No. - That's where you go right there.

367. into the bathroom, he's walked into a spiderweb,

368. - Yeah, we've all used that one before.

369. Yeah, the old "oh, a spider came down on my shirt,

370. and that's why i had to take my shirt off and"--

371. okay, that— yeah, i believe that.

372. Yeah, i would believe that one.

373. And—and now are you still dating bathroom boy or... - Jimmy.

374. Aw! Oh, oh, my gosh. Well, congratulations.

375. Yeah. Yeah, it's big. In—in honor—in honor, I'll be taking my clothes off

376. in the bathroom and then redressing myself.

377. He must hate me.

378. Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up.

379. It went to voice mail.

380. Hey. Um, it's me.

381. I know that you're not picking up

382. because you must be so mad at me.

383. Please know that I'm so, so sorry.

384. Patrick.

385. Patrick.

386. Patrick!

387. Patrick. What are you doing? Whoa!

388. I told you how important tonight was.

389. Serena, what? Oh.

390. You think Blair had me thrown out

391. because i was a little tipsy or because i was talking

392. to that high-priced call girl friend of hers?

393. What did you just say?

394. why'd you do it?

395. Do what? - Come on, Nate. You're the only one who knew

396. i had a meeting to sell that footage. I had to protect Tripp.

397. to further your own career. That is not true.

398. Oh, so you're saying you weren't excited to see your name

399. in just a minute. What does that mean?

400. (Man) Hey. Hey, everybody, quiet down for a second. With breaking news.

401. We are just now getting reports that firsthand footage

402. of the Hudson river rescue reveals Tripp Van Der bilt's

403. heroic act might not have been so heroic.

404. It seems after close inspection

405. of the footage taken at the time, it's apparent

406. the man deliberately went into the Hudson river...

407. The polls are closed,

408. and gossip girl is calling this election dirty.

409. It remains to be seen

410. who exactly is responsible for this hoax.

411. Someone in the Van Der bilt camp?

412. Maybe the candidate himself? But news of this breaking... Grandfather.

413. effect it'll have on the polls

414. is impossible to measure. All right, could someone just turn that off?

415. And, please, just give us a moment of privacy. Thank you.

416. I can't believe

417. you would compromise my integrity like this. Take a deep breath, Tripp.

418. You didn't believe i could actually win, did you?

419. Honestly, i had my doubts,

420. but i did not do this.

421. The hell you didn't. Tripp, just calm down.

422. Listen to me very carefully, grandfather.

423. If you don't go out there

424. and take responsibility for this, then i will—

425. by stepping out of the race. I'm not gonna go stand in front of those cameras and lie.

426. Oh, come on, grandfather. It's time to come clean.

427. I give you my word. I'm not responsible for this.

428. Unfortunately for the both of us,

429. your word means nothing anymore.

430. Well, if you are both done,

431. I'm going to go down and join the celebration.

432. Gather the press, Nate.

433. I'm going to announce my official withdrawal.

434. I just have to tell Maureen first.

435. I know I'm an enemy of the state right now.

436. What happened to you, Nate?

437. The guy i used to call my friend

438. had a moral compass.

439. Well, right now I'm thinking I'm just gonna go for my master's,

440. but who knows?

441. Sorry to interrupt. Brandeis, right? I'm Serena.

442. Hi, Serena. This is congressman Wade.

443. Pleasure to meet you.

444. And are you a, uh, student, like Brandeis?

445. No, I'm just a regular old working girl.

446. Really? And—and do you two work together?

447. Let me guess— you want to go upstairs

448. and see if two blondes make a right? - Uh, excuse us.

449. I'm sorry.

450. I thought i was working this party alone.

451. Did the agency send you?

452. No, you're right. This party is all yours.

453. Excuse me.

454. As a friend of the family, what do you have to say

455. about the allegation

456. that Tripp Van Der bilt's heroism might have been staged?

457. if the empire's inaugural event is mired in scandal?

458. Look, you think anyone goes to the Mercer for the maid service?

459. They go 'cause they want to see Russell Crowe throw a hissy.

460. Anyway, nothing happens at the empire without my say-so.

461. I was, uh...

462. what are you doing, Blair? Looking for your best friend?

463. Bad news. Security just escorted her out

464. in time to avoid a major political scandal.

465. You're kidding me. Now we're doing tit for tat?

466. She was an escort, a high-priced hooker.

467. You're ridiculous.

468. Brandeis is not a call girl. She's a psych major.

469. Who on earth told you that? Patrick.

470. The guy is wasted. He thought Chuck schumer was his father.

471. I doubt Chuck would want a prostitute at his hotel,

472. especially at this party. You don't get it. Patrick was about to cause a scene.

473. I was protecting everyone, including you. - What are you talking about?

474. Look, ladies, please.

475. This is supposed to be a classy event,

476. She had my friend kicked out of the party. The call girl?

477. Security just told me.

478. W—no, no. I promise you, Brandeis is not an escort.

479. Serena's just trying to get even with me.

480. Look, i don't know what's going on here,

481. but if the girl's still here, I'll find her

482. and get to the bottom of it, okay? - Thank you, Chuck.

483. And who's the one getting paid to date her clients anyway?

484. That's enough, Blair. No. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

485. The only prostitute here... Is you.

486. Come on, Chuck.

487. I want some cake.

488. Blair and Serena at war again.

489. Yummy.

490. Hey. Let me go first.

491. Nate, it's okay. I know what I'm doing.

492. Excuse me.

493. Excuse me.

494. Hi.

495. My name is Nate Archibald.

496. I'm Tripp Van Der bilt's cousin.

497. And i know there's a lot of buzz going around

498. about what exactly happened

499. this morning at the Hudson river.

500. And it saddens me to tell you all

501. that the story about it being a hoax—

502. it is true.

503. However, my cousin, Tripp Van Der bilt,

504. had no knowledge of any kind of setup.

505. My cousin is not only the most moral,

506. honest...

507. And courageous guy i know...

508. He's still a hero.

509. And how do i know this?

510. Because I'm the one who set it up.

511. She called me a prostitute.

512. Yeah. Why do you think she did that? - I'm not sleeping with Patrick.

513. Don't tell me after 18 years, you can't read Waldorf subtext. I shouldn't have to.

514. If that's what she's feeling, then she should tell me.

515. It is time for her to grow up. This coming from someone

516. who just pushed their best friend into a cake.

517. Look, you think your friendship is going to take care of itself.

518. You're not kids anymore. You can't say you hate each other

519. then make up an hour later on the met steps.

520. You tell her that. I'm telling you.

521. And you should be careful, because one day you're

522. gonna find yourself telling people about Blair Waldorf,

523. the girl who used to be your best friend.

524. Hi. I got your text.

525. Yeah. All it said was— "maybe we should talk"--

526. and so i just came right away.

527. I'm sorry about fallon.

528. Up till now, my publicist would decide everything for me—

529. what I'd talk about during interviews

530. and even script exactly what i would say.

531. And just this one time, i wanted to just... be myself

532. and—and go out there and be me, and I... i bombed.

533. What? No, you didn't. No. No, it was funny, really.

534. And then today, you left, and i knew—i knew that I'd hurt you.

535. And our first date meant so much to me.

536. Olivia, fallon was right.

537. The spider story isn't even true.

538. What is—what is this?

539. You want to know the truth about our—our first date?

540. There was no spider. I, uh, i-i was so nervous

541. that i was with you, i kept sweating through my shirt,

542. so i was running to the bathroom to use the hand dryer to—

543. And then today,

544. i rushed out of scrabble because I'd just seen

545. your interview on TV, where you told the whole world

546. that today was our 1-month anniversary, you know, and...

547. I mean, I'm—I'm usually very on the ball with these things. Stop. You're amazing.

548. And you're not the only one with a surprise today.

549. (man) You're watching New York 1—

550. news all evening.

551. Before we return to the race for the mayor of New York City,

552. we first want to take you to the congressional election,

553. which really couldn't be any closer.

554. At this time, with 85% of the votes counted,

555. Mike Sullivan has 49,837 votes.

556. Hey.

557. What are you doing down here? Get back to your party.

558. I was hoping you'd still be here. I wanted to thank you

559. for the sacrifice you made on that stage tonight,

560. for me.

561. Hey, i was happy to,

562. because i believe in you.

563. Here it is. And apparently, New York does, too.

564. We are now prepared to call the election in favor

565. of newcomer 26-year-old William Van Der bilt III,

566. affectionately known to those around him as "Tripp."

567. That is right. With 96% of the votes counted... - I won.

568. Yeah, you did. Just do me one favor, though. Anything.

569. I have complete faith in you. And after all, i mean,

570. you're the only honest man in our family.

571. Congrats.

572. Thanks. - You deserve it.

573. I better get going before we're seen together

574. and another scandal erupts. I promise you,

575. one day i will make things right. I will fix this.

576. This is the beginning of a new Van Der bilt dynasty,

577. one we can be proud of.

578. Tripp Van Der bilt has been declared the winner in the race

579. Stay away from me.

580. Blair, I'm sorry.

581. I-i shouldn't have done that.

582. But whether it was Patrick tonight

583. or—or k.C.'S clients at Chuck's party,

584. a real friend would have come to me with the problem,

585. and we would have solved it together. Seriously, Serena?

586. After 18 years of this, i actually feel sorry for you.

587. You're so far deep in Serena world,

588. you can't even recognize what's really going on.

589. Throughout all my years with Nate—

590. my whole life, really—

591. you've always been number one.

592. And now for the first time,

593. things are different.

594. I'm different.

595. I have college

596. and a real relationship.

597. I'm starting to build a life for myself.

598. I'm building a life for myself, too.

599. With Carter? With your job as an assistant to a publicist

600. who pays you to date a whacked-out movie star?

601. You're drifting away from Dan and your family,

602. and you've lost Nate,

603. one of your oldest friends.

604. This night is finally over...

605. And as far as I'm concerned, so are we.

606. Who would have thought

607. that s. And b.'S friendship had a term limit?

608. Sorry, ladies.

609. Party's over.

610. Thank you.

611. Hey, Brandeis.

612. I thought you'd be long gone by now.

613. Hey, Blair. Great party. I am so sorry. I can't believe Serena

614. told everyone you were a prostitute.

615. That is, like, so crazy.

616. Well, to be honest, it's not... That crazy.

617. How so?

618. It's true. I'm a working girl.

619. I wanted to tell you, but we just met.

620. Ew! Do you even go to school at N.Y.U.?

621. Yes. And i am a psych major.

622. Ask me anything— Freud, Skinner, piaget.

623. I'm still the same person, Blair.

624. This is just how i pay for college and couture.

625. Huh.

626. Well, i have to run it by my people, but...

627. We can still shop together, perhaps.

628. Absolutely.

629. But right now...

630. I got a job.

631. You used me to meet new clients?

632. Sorry, but I'm new to the big apple.

633. And rotten to the core.

634. Okay, come on. Come on.

635. Let's get you in. Easy.

636. Come on. Watch your head. Hey, come on. Let's go to bar boulud.

637. No. - You have to. You're my girlfriend.

638. I can't be seen without you, remember?

639. That's what you get paid for.

640. There you go. Come on.

641. 710 east 76th street.

642. Tell miss Cunningham she has a delivery.

643. I think Nathaniel was brilliant tonight, don't you?

644. Brilliant? Foolish is more like it.

645. Come on, William.

646. Even you have to admit it.

647. This couldn't have worked any better if it was planned.

648. You.

649. All this time, you thought the only thing i was capable of

650. was holding his hand and smiling on the sidelines.

651. To be honest, my dear,

652. i never really spent that much time thinking about you.

653. Well, your loss is my gain.

654. My husband is a congressman.

655. And thanks to Vanessa's camera,

656. you're out of our lives for good.

657. Finally Tripp can be his own man,

658. my man.

659. You think I'm really just going to stand aside,

660. let myself become collateral damage?

661. I'll tell him.

662. You don't exactly have a lot of credibility right now.

663. Who's he going to believe?

664. I thought you said you were going home.

665. I changed my mind.

666. Well, if I'd known,

667. i would have come sooner.

668. did you ever find Brandeis?

669. yes.

670. we're not friends anymore.

671. but that's okay.

672. I have you.

673. That's all i need.

674. Sometimes it's hard to see

675. the lines we've drawn...

676. Until we cross them.

677. This is used for the sake cups.

678. All right, oh, you know, i did want to say something.

679. Uh, we want to apologize for last time.

680. I was a little hard on your boyfriend,

681. and i apologize for that, so, Dan, if you're watching,

682. we wanted to say happy anniversary. - Oh!

683. This is for you, Olivia and Dan.

684. Happy anniversary. I'm very sorry. - Thank you. Oh!

685. That's when we rely on the ones we love

686. to pull us back...

687. And give us something to hold on to.

688. congratulations, congressman elect.

689. S-Serena, thank you.

690. shouldn't you be in the ballroom?

691. Probably.

692. Where's your better half?

693. I don't know. I was looking for her.

694. Then i realized this might be

695. my last private moment for a while.

696. Well, i can leave. No, it's okay. Stay. Please.

697. I'd love to have someone to sit with,

698. not talking about politics, not talking about anything.

699. You wanna tell me about it?

700. No. I-i don't think you want to hear this one.

701. I do. Let your problem

702. be the first that i address as your elected representative.

703. Okay, congressman.

704. But I'm gonna warn you. This one might need a special committee.

705. Uh, wait. This sounds serious.

706. Bartender, I'll have what she's having.

707. Uh, I'll have another, please. Thank you.

708. then there are the clearly marked lines,

709. the ones that if you dare cross,

710. you may never find your way back.

711. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.