Gossip Girl 3x7

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. including lying to Chuck.

3. I'm k.C. I'm Olivia's publicist. I'm actually looking for a job.

4. That "endless knights" series— it's king Arthur with vampires.

5. She plays Guinevere. My father turned his first profit by the time he was 22.

6. Horace Rogers, meet Chuck bass. - Man, come here.

7. Constance is gonna be so different.

8. There's no more hierarchy, no more mean girls.

9. We're here to make sure you get exactly what you want this year.

10. and wait there with a yogurt for me.

11. And who am i?

12. That's a secret I'll never tell.

13. You know you love me.

14. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

15. All hallows' Eve— the one day of the year

16. it's socially acceptable to play dress-up.

17. The only question is— who do you want to be?

18. There are costumes to make men feel like boys again

19. or turn little girls into queens.

20. Jenny, please let me go through this closet.

21. There's no room for your new things.

22. Does this even fit you anymore?

23. Yes.

24. perfectly.

25. All of it does.

26. we're 183 on travelocity,

27. right behind the holiday inn laguardia.

28. Who needs travel sites,

29. with their huddled masses

30. searching the Internet late night, trolling for deals?

31. Without those masses, I'm at less than 20% occupancy

32. for the holidays. That's why you should open the club.

33. Once that's the place to be seen,

34. you'll be so booked, you can turn away

35. the tasteless tourists in Fanny packs.

36. I was thinking an '80s theme.

37. Although shoulder pads can be overwhelming

38. on my delicate frame.

39. This is a business, not a high school party.

40. I told you i was sorry for my little transgression,

41. and you forgave me.

42. Now either make me kiss a girl already or let's move on.

43. I apologize. I've been on edge lately.

44. With all my liquid assets tied up in this hotel,

45. i have to make sure everything gets done right.

46. "Right" for the Chuck bass i know means "right now."

47. People think I'm playing a game, and they want me to lose.

48. I have to prove I'm not just Bart bass' son.

49. My impulsive tendencies have no place

50. in my life as a legitimate businessman.

51. Well, you're very sexy when you're legitimate.

52. Thank you.

53. I'm late to meet my accountant.

54. You understand i have to do this my own way.

55. Of course.

56. Mark? I want to book you for the opening of a new club.

57. all right, so i gotta ask.

58. Did you bring it?

59. Yeah. I got it.

60. Are you 100% sure you want to do this? Yeah, you know, i mean,

61. Olivia and i have been dating for a couple weeks now.

62. It's getting pretty serious at this point.

63. Believe me, i... i know.

64. I know. I-i-i really think I'm ready.

65. Oh.

66. Enjoy, man.

67. Six hours of pleasure.

68. Oh.

69. So you really think the sight of Olivia in fake fangs

70. reciting stilted dialogue is gonna be a deal breaker,

71. don't you? Oh, the dialogue's awesome.

72. It's the, uh, it's the part without the talking

73. that's the problem. I think i can handle some pg-13 bloodsucking. Come on.

74. Seriously, man, do you not get Internet here in Brooklyn?

75. Okay. Patrick Roberts, who plays her vampire costar,

76. was her boyfriend the whole time they were shooting this.

77. All the blogs said they got really into it

78. and started doing it for real,

79. like sex-tape- on-the-cutting-room-floor real.

80. I think the most disturbing part in all this

81. is that you've been reading "endless knights" blogs.

82. Okay, that's—i know you think you're okay with it,

83. but you don't want to watch your girlfriend with another guy.

84. I don't—i don't—i have no idea if she makes noises yet.

85. We haven't gotten to the noises stage,

86. although we, uh, we do have plans tomorrow night, so...

87. Hold on a second. Maybe this is her.

88. Spotted—one star with her hand in the cookie jar.

89. Even Perez Hilton knows our lonely boy

90. is going to be getting a Halloween treat.

91. What the hell is this?

92. It looks like Olivia's picking up some free—

93. i know what she's doing. I want to know why.

94. I assume it's because she wants to practice safe sex.

95. She shouldn't be practicing anything

96. without Patrick Roberts, who's in Toronto on a movie.

97. This obviously means you didn't take care

98. They're very happy together.

99. Well, since I'm not a couples counselor,

100. their happiness is irrelevant.

101. Serena, without "endless knights,"

102. Patrick is on the road to mark hamill-hood.

103. Is that the guy from "star wars" that's not Harrison Ford?

104. Not dating Olivia is the nail

105. in Patrick's culturally relevant coffin.

106. I'm not being ironic about vampire movies.

107. I'm sorry about Patrick, but i told you,

108. if you want Dan and Olivia to break up,

109. that's something you're gonna have to do yourself. Look, Olivia's trying

110. to be a "real" girl and not taking my calls,

111. so i suggest you make yourself useful.

112. Unless, of course, you see yourself delivering

113. James Franco's underwear for the rest of your life.

114. He needs them by noon.

115. I'll be in my office.

116. - So Rufus asked my size this morning.

117. Does this mean I'm getting a flannel?

118. No. He's just a costume enthusiast.

119. Oh. - He likes Halloween more than

120. he likes Christmas and his birthday.

121. So we have to find a party, otherwise, i swear,

122. he's gonna make us hand out candy,

123. dressed as the octo-babies. Uh, speaking of creepy social anomalies...

124. The last time you handed her the yogurt,

125. there was a spoonful missing. Hmm. Time to get to work ruling the kingdom.

126. You look queen-tastic.

127. Thank you.

128. And your yogurt with almonds.

129. It's all there. I checked.

130. Are there skins on these almonds?

131. Fix it, and in a timely fashion,

132. otherwise you're all going

133. as the "real housewives of New Jersey" for Halloween.

134. I mean, even if there are other dillingers at the parade,

135. none of them will have

136. one of Johnny's actual suits from the movie.

137. Jenny, you should come to the village with us.

138. Uh, yeah. What are you guys doing sitting up here?

139. The birds decided to use our usual place as a restroom.

140. Oh, gross.

141. Um, do you guys mind moving down a couple steps?

142. I'm sorry, but you know

143. the whole "no one's supposed to sit higher than me" thing,

144. and if the girls see you up here, they're gonna take it

145. as a sign of weakness and— we—we get it.

146. You can't lead if no one thinks they have to follow. It's cool.

147. Thank you. Not you.

148. Hello, "invasion of the body snatchers."

149. Looks like Jenny, sounds like Jenny,

150. is really a dark, power-hungry monster.

151. Oh, come on. She's still the same Jenny underneath.

152. She just has to wear the mask for school.

153. That mask is becoming her face.

154. Is she actually levitating?

155. Uh, I'm pretty sure that's green screen.

156. Is their acting this good in the rest of the movie?

157. I mean, just look at the way she's looking at him.

158. That's—that's love. That's—that's definitely love

159. and lust and, uh, and gratitude—

160. dude, it's an orgasm. - Yeah.

161. I mean... pfft.

162. It's completely understandable why you're freaking out.

163. No, I'm not— I'm not freaking out.

164. I'm just, you know, I'm processing this.

165. Yeah.

166. Oh, it's Olivia.

167. Oh, hey.

168. Yeah, i know. I just—i got this thing.

169. It's—it's like a flu.

170. Uh, can i call you in a couple days?

171. Mm.

172. Okay. All right. Bye.

173. Mark Ronson is on hold, and i left word

174. for the mixologist from milk & honey. I thought Chuck didn't want

175. to open his club till after the holidays. Well, that's what he says.

176. He also says he wants to do it his way,

177. but that will change, just like it always does,

178. when he sees my plan. I don't know, b.

179. I tried to help Carter, and that just drove him away.

180. The good news is k.C.'S yelling at me all the time,

181. and i don't have time to think about it.

182. Oh, this is probably her calling now,

183. saying there's not enough chai in her chai latte. Hello? Are you alone?

184. Chuck, hey.

185. Am i alone?

186. Serena?

187. Yes. Hi. I'm here. Sorry.

188. Hotels that don't book

189. over the holiday season don't make it to the next.

190. I'm sorry. Are you in trouble?

191. Do you want me to call my mom to see if bass industries can help?

192. I don't want bass help. I want a publicist. Okay, great.

193. Um, well, I'll call condé nast and tablet hotels right away.

194. No. I no longer have time for the establishment to accept me.

195. I need them to come begging.

196. I want to open my club tomorrow,

197. Halloween.

198. See? My idea.

199. Okay, tomorrow. Absolutely.

200. And, Serena,

201. i don't want Blair anywhere near this.

202. Okay. Bye.

203. I'm sorry.

204. Clearly, Chuck hasn't forgiven you.

205. Looks like someone's ghosts tricks past

206. have come back to haunt this Halloween.

207. Swifty, you're the man.

208. (Man) No problem. Everything looks good here, Mr. bass.

209. Thank you for moving so quickly.

210. I'm glad everything's up to code. - Up to code? Wow.

211. Not words I'd usually associate with Chuck bass.

212. What can i tell you? It's the dawning of a new age... Mm.

213. Moonshine Martini.

214. With a call back to the old.

215. Mmm.

216. This is perfect. Thank you.

217. A speakeasy—

218. what could be more timely?

219. A place to escape the modern world

220. and violate its rules... Legally, of course.

221. Yeah, I'm surprised Blair isn't here.

222. What, are you guys in another fight?

223. A fight implies time and energy.

224. It's more of an ongoing detached distrust.

225. I can't believe he chose you over me.

226. I'm gonna ignore that because i know you're upset,

227. but, b., can you please try to keep your voice down?

228. The only way i can prove myself to k.C.

229. Is if she doesn't find out about this party

230. until after i make it amazing. She'll try to take it away.

231. It's not like Chuck hasn't kissed a guy before.

232. He said so himself. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not about the kiss?

233. Your game is based on trust, and you broke his.

234. Me? What do you call him pretending he's not mad at me?

235. That is the most untrustworthy thing I've ever seen.

236. but maybe today is not about you.

237. Chuck has 24 hours to create something from scratch.

238. His liquor license hasn't even cleared yet.

239. Hi. No, i already faxed the permit

240. to control the sidewalk in front of gimlet.

241. Yes.

242. I know Chuck is anti-everything Bart bass,

243. but his father must have had a better way

244. to get these things done. Have you even

245. been listening to anything I've been saying to you?

246. Yes. This is not about me.

247. It is about Chuck.

248. So I'm going home.

249. Hey, lil. Vanya has a package you need to sign for.

250. Who would possibly send all this candy?

251. This is not package. This is package.

252. This is for the trick-or-treaters.

253. Oh, i had no idea you would get all of this

254. or i would have called you. Charles invited us

255. to his club opening, and i want to go be supportive.

256. But i already got costumes. Aren't you the one that keeps telling me

257. to dress up like the ramones. Well, Jenny would make a great Joey.

258. This is a prohibition party— classy, elegant. There's nothing classy

259. about being at a party with your parents.

260. We can dress up and pass out candy.

261. Sorry about that, Vanya.

262. Sorry not to me.

263. Sorry to Mr. Rufus when he sees no trick-or-treaters

264. come into this building. I know. He just seems so happy.

265. I couldn't Bear to take his candy away yet.

266. Not bad, but it's prohibition, not "last of the mohicans."

267. Lose the feathers.

268. You seriously think that's the same Jenny

269. I've got a better idea.

270. Did you make your own costume, Jenny?

271. No. It's vintage. Gaultier.

272. No way.

273. What's your problem? - Him.

274. No one's allowed to sit higher than you.

275. Hey, Jenny. Jonathan, you know you can't sit up here.

276. Are you disobeying a direct order?

277. Sorry. The pigeons.

278. Bird poop is not our problem. You guys will have to sit somewhere else.

279. Jenny, come on. What's—what's gonna happen

280. if we hang out here for a couple of minutes?

281. Girls?

282. Hey. - Oh, hey.

283. Wow. Looks like you're feeling a lot better.

284. Yeah, thank you.

285. Um, yeah, it was, you know, it was just one of those,

286. uh, 24-hour things. Um, it was kind of weird.

287. Dan.

288. If this is about that cookie jar photo...

289. If you're not ready, i totally understand. Ready? No. No.

290. I'm—i-i love that picture of you. It's so flattering.

291. And who can resist free gifts

292. in, uh, in shiny wrappers?

293. Did you watch that?

294. What?

295. Okay, so it's not about the cookie jar photo.

296. You think that I'm a bad actress.

297. What? No, no, no. I didn't— i wouldn't say "bad." Which scene was it?

298. Was it where i sucked that wolf man's blood?

299. Because that was a dummy wolf man,

300. and it's really hard to play with a dummy.

301. Oh.

302. So "flu" as in Patrick Roberts flu?

303. Look, he—he made you levitate. - Dan.

304. That's all acting.

305. Well, reigning blog opinion seems to be

306. that acting with your boyfriend, without your clothes on—

307. it's, um, you know, it's a sex tape.

308. Well, what the blogs don't know

309. is that Patrick was never my boyfriend.

310. Our whole relationship was strictly for publicity.

311. Oh.

312. Mm.

313. Have i ever told you what a great actress you are?

314. Listen, i never had feelings for Patrick like i do for you.

315. Okay? So can we please get back to somewhat normal?

316. Yeah. Yeah. Only if you promise to show me your free gifts.

317. Mm, well we can explore all of my health center acquisitions

318. tonight, after Chuck's club opening.

319. Let me just let Serena know that we're coming. - Okay.

320. Why is m.K. Bringing two guests to some gimlet club opening?

321. I-i know you wanted me to make myself useful.

322. I'm sorry. I-i wanted to surprise you.

323. By stealing my client list?

324. Pack your things.

325. K.C., wait. I-i only did this because i was trying

326. to get Olivia and Patrick back together like you wanted.

327. Olivia is coming tonight.

328. All you have to do is fly Patrick in. Look.

329. Olivia's coming alone?

330. Yeah.

331. This better work.

332. I promise it will.

333. In the future,

334. the only surprises i appreciate are cash and gifts.

335. This is Chuck bass again,

336. regarding the status of my liquor license.

337. I look forward to hearing from you.

338. Voice mail again, huh?

339. With clubs closing all over the city,

340. you'd think it'd be in their financial interest

341. to expedite things. The only "interests" those people understand

342. comes in envelopes full of unmarked bills.

343. I seriously hope you're not thinking

344. about opening without a license.

345. No. I'm considering what my father would do

346. in this situation.

347. I'm trying to find a suitable alternative.

348. This is Chuck bass.

349. Mr. bass, frank Bennett from the a.B.C.,

350. returning your call.

351. I wanted to let you know

352. your liquor license has been approved. Effective immediately?

353. I'll deliver it myself later today.

354. Thank you very much, Mr. Bennett.

355. You see that, Horace?

356. Victory without deceit.

357. Seems like little Chuck...

358. Finally stepped out from big bad Bart's shadow.

359. Too bad his girlfriend's still playing on the dark side.

360. What do you think?

361. Does it really play without the other ramones?

362. I was gonna do iggy,

363. but i thought it might scare the children.

364. Well, not that i don't enjoy you shirtless and in eyeliner,

365. but i do think you made the right choice.

366. but i think they appreciate the effort.

367. Rufus, i know this is important to you, but honestly,

368. Well, but this year i told them we'd be here,

369. and they all seemed pretty excited about it,

370. except for that guy on six who never makes eye contact.

371. I'm not sick. Then what are you doing home so early? Did something happen?

372. Ask Jenny.

373. I'll handle this one.

374. I-i don't like the tickle.

375. Dorota, when i get you a gift,

376. the least you can do is enjoy it.

377. Ah. Oh.

378. Oh, Mr. Chuck. My goodness.

379. When you are mad at miss Blair,

380. Dorota is very tired

381. and has to have the foot bothering

382. and never sees Vanya or movies—

383. Dorota.

384. That will be enough for today.

385. Is it safe to assume this visit signals

386. the end of my community service hours?

387. I wanted to apologize.

388. Last week's incident took longer than anticipated to move past.

389. But seeing as tonight's all about new beginnings,

390. i wanted to put that behind us and make things right.

391. With gifts?

392. I assume word reached you of my club opening this evening.

393. It was never my intention to leave you out.

394. I just needed to create it on my own,

395. as a legitimate businessman.

396. It's beautiful.

397. I love it.

398. Good.

399. Serena, tell Dan that he should be a musician, not a gangster.

400. You have no street cred. I'm offended.

401. You know, once in the fourth grade, i had to miss recess

402. 'cause i purposely broke the rules of grammar.

403. I think Dan will look fine in whatever he wears.

404. Serena Van Der Woodsen doesn't have an opinion on wardrobe.

405. That—that— this isn't right.

406. Look, k.C. Wants you guys to break up. Um, yeah, i know,

407. and that's why I'm not returning her phone calls.

408. Did she seriously send you here to do that?

409. No, i-i didn't come because i want you guys to break up.

410. I-i-i came because i have found a compromise

411. that i think will get her off your backs and mine.

412. I hope it's firing k.C.

413. Patrick is coming out for the gimlet opening tonight.

414. He's already on a plane. I don't like where this is headed. I have a gun.

415. I can get k.C. The publicity bump she's looking for

416. if you're just willing to walk the red carpet with him,

417. just act like you guys are still together.

418. Well, no, right? Wh—

419. it's one night.

420. Uh, I'll do it.

421. Okay. Dan, um, I'll—I'll leave your name at the back door

422. so you guys can meet up after the cameras.

423. Thank you.

424. Yeah.

425. You want me to pretend that we're not together?

426. No, it's just— it's just for the cameras.

427. I just don't understand why you would want to go somewhere

428. with your fake boyfriend rather than your real one.

429. Dan, I'm sorry, and i hope you'll come

430. and meet me inside tonight.

431. I don't know why he's blaming me. I didn't do anything.

432. I can't control every girl at school.

433. Well, Jenny, you and i both know that that's not true.

434. You may not have done the deed,

435. but i suspect you gave the order.

436. He sat above me on the steps.

437. Hmm.

438. That must have put you in a very difficult position.

439. Yeah, and he did it on purpose. He knew that I'd have no choice.

440. Lily, please. My dad would never understand,

441. and you know these girls. I had to do something.

442. Yes,

443. just like i have to do something now.

444. But you and dad already gave us permission

445. to go to Chuck's tonight. Well, and you can,

446. as long as Eric still wants to go with you,

447. and you make sure that all of your so-called friends

448. apologize to him when he gets there.

449. Fine.

450. Horace, put this up behind the bar.

451. Thank you for taking care of this so promptly.

452. It's my pleasure. I'm always happy to help out Jack bass.

453. Are you ready to open the cornerstone

454. of the new Chuck bass empire?

455. You decided this was the way to impress k.C.?

456. What? Chuck, i would never call Jack.

457. You might convince me more if you weren't the only one

458. who knew about the problem.

459. Blair.

460. Blair, did you call Jack?

461. Well—

462. well, you have the liquor license.

463. What does it matter who called who to get it?

464. Jack...

465. Is the last person i would call for help.

466. You're still mad from before. It's clouding your judgment.

467. This isn't about last week. It's about you, Blair.

468. It's the reason why i couldn't say "i love you."

469. It's not a game.

470. It's because i knew i couldn't trust you.

471. I did this because i love you.

472. Be that as it may,

473. i have a club to open,

474. and you're no longer invited.

475. Fine.

476. S., come on. We're leaving.

477. Blair, I'm... sorry.

478. I'm gonna stay with Chuck.

479. You're alone, Nate?

480. What's wrong? You don't have any friends left to screw over?

481. Oh, well, at least I'm on the list

482. and not working the door.

483. Text me when Patrick arrives. All right.

484. I thought you said that this was an exclusive party.

485. Eric's over there on the phone.

486. Um, yeah.

487. He ratted me out to our parents,

488. so now i have to be nice to him...

489. At least to his face. Sounds like you have a plan.

490. I do, and one that won't get me caught this time.

491. Follow me.

492. It's a queen's job to protect her king.

493. Chuck should be thanking me for making his club possible,

494. not treating me like some useless pawn.

495. It's hard to love a powerful man.

496. You think I'm trustworthy, don't you, Dorota?

497. Of course, miss Blair.

498. Knight to queen 7.

499. Tell those pathetic trick-or-treaters

500. there's no prepackaged Joy for them here.

501. Thank you.

502. See?

503. I knew he would come to his senses.

504. I told you this wasn't my fault.

505. What does Mr. Chuck say?

506. They're not from Mr. Chuck.

507. Dress... now!

508. Here you go, Mr. policeman.

509. And here you go, Mr. fireman,

510. and, uh, lady gaga.

511. Wow. You kids look terrific.

512. Thank you. They're perfect.

513. Come on, kids. Let's go. Come.

514. Thank you.

515. Happy Halloween.

516. your powers of disguise have fallen off a bit.

517. I have more important things to deal with

518. than your little surprises.

519. I came to apologize.

520. I was trying to help you so you would see you needed me,

521. that we make a good team.

522. But you were right not to trust me.

523. I ruined everything.

524. Heartfelt.

525. Earnest.

526. Let me guess—

527. you found out the liquor license you so thoughtfully procured

528. was a fake.

529. Y-you already knew?

530. Did Jack send you condolence flowers, too?

531. I don't need condolence flowers. I know Jack bass.

532. If you know, then why is the club still open?

533. If the cops show...

534. You probably don't want to hear this, but i have an idea.

535. I already made the call.

536. I'll take care of the paparazzi.

537. Blair.

538. We still have things to discuss.

539. I know.

540. if you got it, you got it, right?

541. You do not got it.

542. So you want to sit?

543. I'm sorry you had to sit down with my mom.

544. Yeah. No, she clearly has some experience in queendom.

545. Well, I'd take a run-in at the steps with you

546. over her any day.

547. Can we just agree not to say the word "steps" anymore?

548. I'd like nothing better.

549. Without Jonathan here, i know no one.

550. Yeah. Me neither.

551. Where are all your handmaidens?

552. Happy Halloween.

553. Serena.

554. Oh, Patrick, hey.

555. I'm so glad you finally made it. I'm Serena.

556. Wow. If I'd known what you looked like,

557. i would have kept you on the phone longer

558. when i called for k.C. Okay, enough with the chitchat. Where's Olivia?

559. We need to get this picture. Uh, i-i just saw her.

560. What the hell is he doing here?

561. Mm.

562. Come on.

563. It's not what it looks like.

564. Let—let me just go talk to them. Chuck.

565. Excuse me, Serena. (Indistinct police radio chatter)

566. These gentlemen are here to close down my club.

567. And the best costume award

568. goes to New York's finest. This party is a bust.

569. That's it. Shut it down. Let's move, people.

570. Party's over. Let's move, people.

571. Let's go, you guys. You gotta give that drink right now.

572. Keep it moving.

573. Chuck.

574. Well, you might want to try to stop the police.

575. Why would i stop 'em?

576. I called 'em.

577. Why would he have his own club raided?

578. Well, once we found out the liquor license was fake,

579. we could either wait for Jack to call a.B.C. To take us down

580. or we could take control and call the police

581. to blow up the party for a night that no one would ever forget.

582. Brilliant, isn't it?

583. This was your idea? Oh, it was both of ours.

584. You see, s., we belong together.

585. Okay, well, k.C. Blames this whole thing on me.

586. Now i have to go get my clients out of here

587. before they get mug shots or tmz videos.

588. Oh, you could try to go through the hotel. Thank you.

589. But there's probably paparazzi out there, too.

590. I'm sorry, s., but Chuck's hotel needed this.

591. Without your celebrities, we're buried in the city section.

592. Now we're front page news. Why would you do this to me?

593. You knew how important it was for me to prove myself to k.C.

594. Remember when you chose Chuck?

595. Now i did, too.

596. What'd i tell you, lil? We just had to put the word out.

597. Once these kids tell their friends,

598. I'm just teasing you. You got the perfect number. How did you figure it out?

599. Well, after the third time i heard "achoo,"

600. i realized it wasn't a sneeze. It's "thank you" in Lithuanian.

601. Plus, lady gaga forgot to change her hair

602. when she came back as Taylor swift. Well, i just didn't want you

603. to feel you had to leave all your traditions in Brooklyn. And i love you for that.

604. But why don't we start some of our own traditions?

605. How about some grownup trick-or-treating?

606. All right, but i draw the line at door-to-door.

607. I was just thinking of one door.

608. You know, we, um,

609. we should probably get out there eventually.

610. I know.

611. Um, there's something that I...

612. Dan, um,

613. Patrick... wasn't my fake boyfriend.

614. What?

615. I know.

616. Um, i lied because i-i care about you.

617. And i did not want you to compare yourself

618. to some perfectly lit, heavily edited performance.

619. And—and what about tonight? Why get photographed with him?

620. When i ended things with Patrick,

621. i-i broke his heart.

622. And with no more "endless knights" movies,

623. his career just kinda stalled.

624. You don't think it was because of the Bruce jenner biopic?

625. I mean, that was...

626. Dan, my plan was to tell him afterwards

627. that the only person i want to kiss here tonight is—is you.

628. Okay?

629. Okay.

630. You really need to work on your timing.

631. Actually, my timing is perfect. Follow me.

632. Come on. I'll—I'll explain. Hurry.

633. Okay.

634. Sorry i interrupted. Um...

635. Now is probably a good time to get that kiss.

636. Ooh. I could use a real one before we go out there.

637. Mm.

638. Look, everyone. It's Olivia Burke

639. kissing her boyfriend Dan Humphrey.

640. Are you okay with this?

641. Yeah.

642. (Man) Olivia!

643. If you're dating this guy, who's dating Patrick Roberts?

644. (Man) Yeah, how about that?

645. I am.

646. You really proved yourself with this one, s.

647. Looks like your work troubles have just turned into

648. a labor of love.

649. Perez Hilton drew tears on his own photo

650. because he wasn't there. Have you heard from the hotel?

651. Blowing up the club

652. exploded our online reservations.

653. We're already up 50%.

654. Now do you see I'm trustworthy again?

655. Blair, you and i both know

656. you'll never be completely trustworthy—

657. and i admit, it's not my strong suit either—

658. but it's part of what keeps things interesting between us.

659. And why we make a great team.

660. No, in order to be a team,

661. we need to focus our duplicity on others.

662. But what if it's my way of showing you i love you?

663. Oh, i can think of better ways.

664. Oh.

665. Mmm.

666. So i can handle being in the "she's dating him?" Page

667. of "in touch" if you can handle not having a fake boyfriend.

668. Mm. I couldn't be any happier with my real boyfriend.

669. Actually, that's not true.

670. I-i could be a little happier.

671. Is Vanessa still at her sister's gig in Albany? Yeah.

672. Oh, well, I'm feeling a little happier already.

673. Uh, just—just to confirm,

674. that levitation thing was just a special effect, right?

675. Um, there's only one way to find out.

676. Hi.

677. So i guess that means you heard about Jonathan.

678. I guess it does.

679. I wanted to call it off...

680. But as soon as those girls see me hesitate,

681. Come on. Everyone gets egged on Halloween.

682. You didn't.

683. You know i have to act this way about school stuff.

684. But I'm still your friend. I'm still your sister.

685. We just can't let the worlds get confused.

686. I'm not confused.

687. I want nothing to do with you in either world.

688. I'm sorry about your purse getting locked in the club

689. and the police showing up

690. and Dan and Olivia kissing.

691. You did fine. You got my clients photographed

692. at the hottest party of the year.

693. Patrick got more attention

694. than he's had since Olivia dumped him.

695. As long as you get my purse back, your job is safe. Thank you.

696. And, Serena, that job now includes

697. publicly dating Patrick. I don't know if I'd call that work.

698. Get back to me after date two.

699. It's a damn shame.

700. Sometimes the best ones are just too hot not to burn out.

701. In this case, Horace, this is just the first match.

702. Mm. A.B.C. Won't let you get another license

703. for at least six months.

704. From what i recall, speakeasies were built

705. on finding ways around liquor regulation.

706. Are you talking about a secret password type of establishment?

707. I'm thinking keys.

708. Mmm.

709. An ambassador program, like they have at the gates.

710. Keep the lock on the front door,

711. come in through the back.

712. Your father would be proud of you...

713. In the best way.

714. Hey, s.

715. I just came to find k.C.'S purse.

716. Hey. How would you like to be the publicist

717. of a members' only club so exclusive

718. it makes the soho house look like

719. one of those dirty public schools with numbers for a name?

720. Come on. It'll be amazing. Blair, i would never work for you.

721. But I'm giving you a chance

722. to leave that Lizzie grubman wannabe

723. before you get run over. You don't get it. K.C. Can be a bitch because she's my boss.

724. You're supposed to be my friend.

725. Chuck might forgive you, but i don't.

726. like all good things,

727. the witching hour must come to an end.

728. True natures are revealed.

729. tricks turn into treats.

730. and taking off costumes is as much fun as putting them on.

731. everything returns to the way it was,

732. except for little girls who forget

733. that Halloween only lasts one night.

734. They wear their costumes for so long,

735. pretty soon they can't even remember

736. who they were before they put them on.

737. x.O.X.O., gossip girl.