1. Gossip girl
here—your one and only source
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2. Yeah. Yeah, i do.
Don't you think
that dating a movie star
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3. is gonna be hard?
We're completely monogamous.
It's just one of our games.
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4. Chuck plays
the cheating bastard,
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5. and i play the scorned woman.
What happens when one day
you don't get there in time,
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6. Just like going to an Ivy is
your family's way,
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7. not going to college is mine.
I met this woman.
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8. I knew they'd take care
of my debts, so i proposed.
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9. So what, you just disappeared?
It's the worst thing
I've ever done.
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10. And who am i?
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11. That's a secret
I'll never tell.
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12. You know you love me.
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13. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.
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14. But what truly defines
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15. tonight's honored guest
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16. is not something that
can be easily categorized...
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17. (Man) The distinguished-looking
gentleman at the podium
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18. is an alumnus of the university.
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19. He will go on speaking
for a long time.
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20. It is not important
that you hear what he says.
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21. In closing,
those of us at the university
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22. will have had the pleasure
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23. of getting to know
tonight's recipient,
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24. know that she is a kind
and gentle soul.
Hey, you okay?
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25. What? No.
No, i am not okay.
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26. her humility, her devotion,
her love for us.
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27. Ladies and gentlemen,
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28. miss Vanessa Abrams.
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29. No.
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30. No!
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31. No!
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32. - Bad dream?
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33. Don't tell me
it was "charade" again.
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34. I know how terrifying
you find Walter matthau.
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35. Worse.
I was in "all about Eve."
That's not a hepburn movie.
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36. I know.
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37. I was Bette Davis.
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38. I've never been
Bette Davis before.
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39. I'm Audrey hepburn,
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40. not some plain baby Jane.
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41. Who was Eve?
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42. I couldn't see her face.
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43. Blair, we both know
this is about N.Y.U.
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44. Now it may take time,
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45. but one day
you will hold that school
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46. in the palm
of your dainty hand.
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47. I'm Audrey.
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48. I'm Audrey.
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49. Well, thank you, councilman.
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50. I know my cousin
appreciates your support.
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51. Yes, I'll be sure to tell him.
Thanks.
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52. When did Tripp decide
to run for congress?
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53. And should somebody tell him
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54. the election is not
until next year?
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55. Well,
after congressman kruger died,
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56. a house seat opened up
in Manhattan.
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57. You know grandfather.
He figured, why wait?
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58. and with the buckleys buying up
all these attack ads
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59. against his campaign, I'm taking
it kind of personally.
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60. Yeah. Have you—have you spoken
to Bree lately?
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61. No. You spoken to Carter?
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62. Not since my mom's wedding.
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63. I've left him
a dozen messages.
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64. I don't know
if he's mad at me or—
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65. well, Serena,
that's why i called.
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66. Supposedly the buckleys are
flying him out to galveston
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67. so he can work off his debt.
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68. Work it off how?
On one of the family oil rigs.
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69. Th-that's crazy. It would
take him, like, 20 years
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70. to earn that kind of money.
I think they're more interested
in getting Carter
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71. out to the Gulf with
a bunch of Texas roughnecks.
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72. So it's not like he's going
to be making a lot of friends.
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73. No, please tell me
this is a joke.
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74. Don't worry.
I have an idea.
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75. Yes. Yes. Lily loves
her Jefferson airplane.
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76. uh, each day gets better
than the one before.
It must be,
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77. if you're packing these
"welcome back, kotter" mugs.
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78. "In just a few short months,
freshman leader Vanessa Abrams
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79. has tackled numerous social
and environmental issues."
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80. What is that?
Oh, it's just a wildly
flattering cover story
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81. on Vanessa
in the N.Y.U. Paper.
It doesn't mean anything.
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82. Except that she's a shoo-in
to give the toast
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83. He's the alumnus who decides
who gives the toast.
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84. Supposedly it's between me
and some other girl.
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85. I probably won't get it.
Well, speech or no speech,
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86. i-i hope you're inviting
your parents.
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87. You're kidding, right?
My parents hate
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88. that I'm at a private college,
"buying" an elitist education.
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89. "Knowledge shouldn't be
for sale."
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90. Sure, Arlo and Gabriela
are progressive,
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91. but if they knew how much good
you were doing at the school,
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92. I'm sure they'd come around.
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93. It would be kind of amazing
if they came
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94. and, you know, actually approved
of something i was doing.
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95. But whatever. I haven't been
chosen yet, so...
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96. Well, you will be.
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97. And tomorrow night, Dan and i
will be there front and center.
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98. Oh, um, yeah, you know what?
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99. Actually, Olivia
just got back from Japan.
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100. I was hoping we would hang out
tomorrow night.
So bring Olivia.
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101. Or not. It's your call.
I-i don't want to force you.
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102. what? What?
We—we just started dating.
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103. Isn't it a little soon
for meet the parents?
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104. Not for Olivia. She seems
really easygoing and into you.
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105. Yeah, seriously, Dan.
Play the parent card.
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106. People like you more
when they meet our family.
It's true.
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107. All right. Okay.
A-all right. I'll invite her.
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108. Oh, that's awesome.
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109. It's gonna be a great night
for the Humphreys.
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110. And who knows?
Maybe the abramses.
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111. Wait. Bree's cousin hosts
a poker game?
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112. Yeah, p.J. Buckley. Picture,
like, a young j.R. Ewing
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113. in earnest sewn jeans.
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114. And you really think he'll play
for Carter's debt?
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115. Oh, I've seen his friends
bet thoroughbreds,
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116. an island in the Seychelles,
the Knicks.
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117. Okay, but what makes you think
we'll win?
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118. You're not exactly
a card shark.
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119. Well, this one night
at the maidstone,
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120. Bree told me
every one of p.J.'S tells.
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121. So you'll know exactly
when to call his bluff.
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122. Wait. Me?
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123. Oh, yeah.
You're gonna be playing.
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124. Nate.
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125. No.
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126. Well, Serena, p.J. Hates me.
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127. I mean, luckily,
he likes blondes, though.
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128. And didn't you spend a Summer
in monte Carlo with your mom,
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129. when she dated
Carlos mortensen?
- I was 9.
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130. Carlos taught me to play
using necco wafers as chips.
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131. Well, just imagine
Carter owes the buckleys
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132. half a million necco wafers.
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133. "... and Ms. Abrams
has even been mentioned
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134. "as a contender to deliver
this year's toast
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135. at the freshman dinner."
Oh, my god. Enough.
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136. I am in no mood to hear
you Fawn over some girl
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137. with tacky accessories
who lives to recycle.
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138. Blair,
didn't you ask Mr. Ellis
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139. if you could give
the freshman speech?
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140. I put out feelers.
That's totally different.
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141. Of course. I'd be honored,
Mr. Ellis. Thank you.
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142. You.
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143. Yeah, Blair, me.
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144. F.Y.I.--One insipid article does
not mean people here like you.
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145. The fever will pass,
like swine flu.
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146. Really? Huh.
Then i wonder why Josh Ellis—
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147. he's this kind of important
alumni liaison—
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148. told me to start working on my
toast for the freshman dinner.
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149. I love it. You know,
cobalt's my favorite color.
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150. Push the button.
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151. It's 11:45.
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152. Your hair is so pleasing.
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153. It's a compliment watch.
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154. And it flatters in
three different languages.
Oh, my god.
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155. This is the greatest watch
in the history of all watches.
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156. The Swiss should be ashamed
for not thinking of it first.
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157. So, um, what are you gonna do
this weekend to thank me?
Uh, you know,
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158. actually, um, about that, i was
thinking i would invite you
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159. to the parents' weekend
freshman dinner
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160. with, uh,
with me and my parents.
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161. And i-i know
you're probably exhausted.
I would love to.
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162. Really? Are you sure?
'Cause you heard the part
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163. about my parents, right?
Dan, the last three guys
i dated—
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164. i met their agent,
their manager,
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165. their publicist,
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166. a personal trainer
who also read tarot cards,
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167. and i never met
a single one of their parents.
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168. I would love to meet yours.
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169. I missed you.
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170. It's 11:46.
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171. Your teeth shine like diamonds.
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172. It's true.
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173. It's very true.
- Mm.
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174. You've reached
Arlo and Gabriela Abrams.
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175. Pay it forward.
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176. Hey, mom, dad.
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177. Look, i know you guys
aren't happy that I'm at N.Y.U.,
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178. but I'm giving this toast
tomorrow night,
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179. and it's kind of a big honor.
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180. And it would mean
so, so much to me if you came,
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181. so i hope you can.
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182. Careful, v.
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183. Don't send out
your invitations just yet.
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184. We hear another girl
has her eyes on the prize.
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185. Montesquieu, Churchill,
Hobbes—
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186. I'm thinking my toast
should touch on...
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187. Tradition, virtue,
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188. the divine right
of the monarchy.
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189. But, Blair,
Vanessa's giving the toast.
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190. Not when I'm done.
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191. Mao, sun-tzu, of course,
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192. napoléon's always good
for a few zingers.
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193. Though things are rarely
as simple as they appear.
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194. This is Josh Ellis.
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195. Oh.
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196. Well I'm thrilled
he changed your mind.
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197. Of course we'd still love
to have you give the toast.
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198. Yes, there was another girl,
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199. but we hadn't fully committed
to her.
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200. We definitely want you.
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201. Great. I'll see you tomorrow,
Mr. Ellis.
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202. Good-bye, jet lag.
Hello, triple ristretto.
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203. Yes.
- What was that?
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204. Just a surprise.
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205. And something tells me
we're in for a show.
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206. Now, Ms. Waldorf,
if this is about
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207. letting you give
the freshman toast,
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208. like i told you last week,
I'd love to help you out, but—
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209. actually, Mr. Ellis,
I'm here to help you.
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210. Simply put,
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211. Vanessa Abrams is
a tired cliché from the 7-1-8.
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212. The preachy "i hate the man"
toast she no doubt has in mind
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213. won't inspire the kind
of deep-pocket donations
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214. this school needs.
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215. You need a speaker more like,
well, me.
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216. Ms. Waldorf, yes, last week
i narrowed my search
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217. down to two candidates.
But just moments ago,
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218. our first choice, Olivia Burke,
accepted our invitation.
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219. Then why does
activist Abrams
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220. still think
she's giving the toast?
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221. Vanessa was the other student
that we were considering.
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222. You see, initially, Olivia
wasn't planning on attending,
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223. but then luckily,
for everyone,
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224. her new boyfriend
convinced her otherwise.
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225. Yes, she is very famous.
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226. Mm-hmm.
- But she's
a 2-quadrant speaker.
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227. Is it smart to lose everyone
over 25 on parents' weekend?
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228. Besides, actresses are
notoriously unreliable.
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229. Ms. Waldorf, even if
Olivia's schedule did change,
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230. Vanessa would still be
my next choice.
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231. So...
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232. I'm very busy.
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233. I'll see you soon, mom.
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234. Oh, no. Mnh-mnh. You are not
trying to steal my toast.
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235. Nobody told you.
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236. Olivia, your dear roommate,
is giving the toast.
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237. Poor Vanessa.
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238. Always the understudy,
never the star.
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239. Olivia's the other girl?
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240. And i was the one
who told Dan to bring her.
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241. Irony certainly can be cruel.
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242. Did i overhear
your long-absent mother
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243. is coming to hear you speak?
Tragic.
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244. Well, I'll just tell Olivia
how much this toast means to me,
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245. and then she'll step down.
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246. Yeah, probably. Though,
then again, she might not.
Nice try, Blair.
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247. Well, I'm just saying, we all
know Olivia loves the spotlight.
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248. She is an actress.
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249. Then I'll ask Dan
not to bring her.
Another idea with some merit.
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250. See, that's where you and i
are different.
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251. I would never put my fate
in someone else's hands,
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252. and that's why i always win,
and you lose.
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253. So good luck
with your honesty.
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254. Maybe you and mom
could take in a show instead.
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255. (man) Well, well, well.
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256. Nate Archibald.
You looking for a game?
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257. I'm—I'm afraid we—
we don't have a seat for you.
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258. Oh, I'm not here to play.
She is.
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259. That is unless you're afraid
to play a girl.
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260. Buy-in's $25,000.
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261. That's a lot of money.
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262. So don't lose.
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263. pull up a seat, darlin'.
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264. you're kidding, right?
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265. You're the one who told me
to invite her.
- I know.
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266. Remember the whole
"people like you better
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267. and not to mention, she's been
in Japan for ten days.
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268. I mean, she's probably having
reverse culture shock.
Yeah, okay. All right.
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269. So do you have any, uh,
non-insane reasons?
Well, I'm just saying,
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270. why don't you do something
more casual but also romantic?
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271. Vanessa, what is going on?
Nothing.
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272. Uh-huh. I need a refill.
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273. Okay, but you have to promise me
you won't say anything,
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274. because this officially makes me
the worst roommate ever.
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275. Just tell me.
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276. Olivia's freaking out
about meeting your parents.
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277. What? I-i talked to her,
like, two hours ago,
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278. and she said she was
looking forward to it.
I guess she changed her mind
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279. or doesn't want
to hurt your feelings.
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280. Really? I mean, yeah, of course.
And i know this is my fault,
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281. but tell her you want
to have a great night,
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282. just the two of you.
And make my special chicken?
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283. I'll give you a recipe.
Okay.
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284. Hey, Abrams, thank you
for, uh, the heads-up.
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285. What are friends for?
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286. Trip queens.
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287. It just—
it doesn't feel right,
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288. you know, taking
a beautiful woman's money.
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289. I'm getting crushed here.
Hey, don't worry.
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290. P.J.'S on tilt.
This is where you hook him.
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291. Archibald, you want
to call it a night?
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292. I can spot you cab fare.
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293. Just get him to bet Carter
and remember the tells.
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294. Actually, p.J.,
we're gonna buy back in.
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295. But we're upping the stakes.
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296. What are you thinking
of playing for?
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297. Yeah, not likely.
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298. How about Carter Baizen?
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299. Ohh.
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300. I get it.
You're—you're Carter's girl.
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301. Well, bad news, sweetheart,
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302. Carter's debt is a lot more
than you're showing.
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303. You know, can we get some,
uh, some privacy?
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304. I tell you what.
You bet Carter,
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305. and I'll bet...
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306. A photo of Tripp Van Der bilt...
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307. From the night
of his bachelor party.
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308. Your family will kill you.
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309. That'll cost Tripp the election.
Like i said, don't lose.
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310. Let's play some cards.
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311. I'm sorry to cancel on you
like this, Mr. Ellis.
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312. You have a backup speaker,
right?
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313. Okay. Good.
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314. All right. Uh, good-bye.
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315. Everything okay?
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316. Um, Dan has decided
to cook dinner for me
Copy !req
317. instead of going out
with his parents.
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318. He probably just wants
more one-on-one time.
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319. I'll bet he has something
special planned, like chicken.
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320. Yeah.
- Or something.
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321. Yeah. Um, i brought you this.
It's an anime goblin claw.
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322. They are huge
in Japan right now.
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323. I just thought
it was kind of funny.
- Thanks.
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324. I shouldn't be freaking out,
right?
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325. I mean,
i can meet his parents anytime.
Yeah.
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326. Um, I'll be right back.
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327. Okay.
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328. Hi, Mr. Ellis.
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329. Um...
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330. No.
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331. I'd still love
to give the toast.
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332. Thank you.
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333. Tell machiavelli
i hope she enjoys my toast.
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334. Vanessa's giving the toast
again.
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335. And she's got
some big pink claw thing.
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336. Well, i don't know about that.
However, phase one is complete.
Copy !req
337. But even with Olivia
out of the way,
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338. you still don't have
the toast.
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339. Oh, my goodness.
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340. You're right.
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341. Thank you, Amalia.
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342. When are you going to learn
to have a little faith?
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343. Chuck, my love,
Copy !req
344. i was thinking, remember
our game from the Summer?
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345. Well, i have the perfect target
already picked out.
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346. So what's a sweet girl
like you
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347. doing with a guy
like Carter Baizen, hmm?
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348. You heard what happened
to my sister, right?
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349. Heartbroken,
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350. 30 pounds fatter.
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351. Bet.
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352. $20,000.
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353. All in.
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354. You sure you want to play
this hand for Carter?
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355. fine.
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356. I'll call.
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357. Kings.
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358. Aces.
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359. You know, a picture really is
worth a thousand words.
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360. Or in this case,
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361. an election.
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362. Nate, thanks for stopping by.
Copy !req
363. Uh-oh. Looks like
Carter's going down to Texas,
Copy !req
364. and Tripp's career is
going up in smoke.
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365. Hey. You made it.
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366. Hey.
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367. Rufus!
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368. Oh! Come here.
Would you let me look at you?
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369. Lay off the caffeine, huh?
It's giving you wrinkles.
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370. Ah. I'm sorry
Arlo couldn't make it.
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371. He says hello. He had to finish
installing the solar panels
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372. on the chicken Coop
at the co-op.
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373. We have been so busy
organizing the local 72,
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374. the, uh, the union
for the burlington cheesemakers.
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375. Aha.
- Yeah.
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376. Yeah.
- Mom, this is Lily.
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377. Oh, it is such a pleasure to
finally meet Vanessa's mother.
Gabriela.
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378. Oh, Rufus...
We're not in Brooklyn anymore.
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379. Uh, uh, I'm still moving in.
It's Lily's place.
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380. Oh, it is both of our place.
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381. Uh, mom, didn't you bring that
for Lily?
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382. Oh, yes, i did.
Homemade strawberry rhubarb.
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383. Thank you.
- Oh. Mmm.
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384. Wow. Well, you and your husband
must be so proud of Vanessa.
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385. Oh, yes.
Vanessa has always been
Copy !req
386. a very thoughtful
and driven young woman.
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387. This school is
the perfect fit for her.
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388. Well...
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389. Here we go.
To be completely honest,
Copy !req
390. my husband and i don't believe
in private universities.
Copy !req
391. Knowledge should not
be for sale.
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392. Well...
- Well... yes. Oh.
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393. Who's hungry?
- Lovely.
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394. I must confess,
I've missed our little game.
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395. Though it appears
your lady is late.
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396. Actually, there she is now.
Copy !req
397. she's a guy.
Copy !req
398. Who took my speech
at the freshman dinner
Copy !req
399. and gave it
to Vanessa Abrams.
Copy !req
400. He double-crossed me, and I...
Demand satisfaction.
Copy !req
401. You still up for it?
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402. Mm, my wonderful man.
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403. I'll just go powder my nose
for ten minutes?
Copy !req
404. I only need five.
Copy !req
405. Can i help you?
Copy !req
406. Oh, definitely.
Copy !req
407. I don't know if p.J. Is not
as stupid as he looks,
Copy !req
408. but, Nate, those tells were
wrong. What are you gonna do?
Copy !req
409. Well, of course i had to tell
my grandfather what happened.
Copy !req
410. I mean, i have
completely destroyed
Copy !req
411. Tripp's political career.
No. No, Nate.
Let me talk to him. Please.
Copy !req
412. Oh,
it's William right here.
- Nate.
Copy !req
413. No. Serena, i can handle it.
Hello, grandfather.
Copy !req
414. Ugh.
Copy !req
415. Is, uh, Nate Archibald
in there?
Copy !req
416. He's got a phone call—
p.J. Buckley.
Copy !req
417. Okay. Yeah. I'll tell him.
Thank you.
Copy !req
418. P.J. Thinks
he won the picture.
Copy !req
419. Yeah, i have the real one.
Copy !req
420. I mean, i feel bad about lying
to Serena, but it worked.
Copy !req
421. Okay.
Copy !req
422. Gabriela, this strawberry
rhubarb jam to die for.
Copy !req
423. Thank you. It's the agave.
I refuse to use sugar.
Copy !req
424. Mmm.
- Mm-hmm. Oh, Rufus, will we
be seeing Daniel at the dinner?
Copy !req
425. I had hoped so,
but unfortunately not.
Copy !req
426. He has a date tonight.
With Vanessa's
roommate, Olivia Burke.
Copy !req
427. Didn't she tell you?
- Lily.
Copy !req
428. She is a very famous actress.
Copy !req
429. I'm afraid i don't worship
at the altar
Copy !req
430. of shallow
Hollywood celebrities.
Oh.
Copy !req
431. But apparently your school does.
Mom, can you
not do this right now?
Copy !req
432. Honey, these institutions
are businesses first.
Copy !req
433. I mean, was this girl
even qualified to enter...
Copy !req
434. - And also one of the nicest,
smartest people
Copy !req
435. I've met at college.
Excuse me.
Copy !req
436. Hey. How is your date?
Copy !req
437. Great.
Copy !req
438. Dan's making Indian chicken.
Copy !req
439. Moroccan, actually.
Copy !req
440. Oh. Uh, look, i know i shouldn't
be asking you this.
Copy !req
441. I was just wondering,
Copy !req
442. why did Dan change his mind
about me meeting his parents?
Copy !req
443. I must have done something
to scare him off.
Copy !req
444. You can tell me the truth.
I promise.
- No, you didn't do anything.
Copy !req
445. Well, i must have.
Copy !req
446. You know what?
I'm just gonna ask him.
Copy !req
447. No!
Copy !req
448. Look, Dan's parents are just
Copy !req
449. really judgmental,
and they're always going on
Copy !req
450. about celebrities
and the dumbing down of culture.
So he's worried
Copy !req
451. his parents will think I'm
some shallow Hollywood pinhead?
Copy !req
452. No—
- like Dan's embarrassed
to introduce me to them?
Copy !req
453. Olivia, Dan just wants
to protect you from them.
Copy !req
454. You know what, Vanessa?
Copy !req
455. You don't need to make excuses
for him, okay? I get it.
Copy !req
456. I gotta go.
Copy !req
457. so where do you get
your hair cut?
Copy !req
458. Oh, uh, trumper's,
off piccadilly.
Copy !req
459. tut, tut.
Copy !req
460. I'm not that kind of girl.
Copy !req
461. Do you have a boyfriend?
Copy !req
462. Not exactly.
Copy !req
463. Wait.
- What for?
Copy !req
464. Ah.
Copy !req
465. what the... Mr. Ellis.
Copy !req
466. Blair Waldorf. Oh, lord.
Copy !req
467. I-i have to go.
Copy !req
468. Don't you run away from me.
Copy !req
469. Hey! Have you no sense
of decency?
Copy !req
470. Well, you got your kiss.
Copy !req
471. Number 27
on the Tribeca scavenger hunt—
Copy !req
472. kiss the Chuck bass.
Copy !req
473. Check.
Copy !req
474. I expect more from
a representative of a college!
Copy !req
475. And the toast?
Oh, a deal's a deal.
It's all yours.
Copy !req
476. I should call Vanessa,
break the bad news.
Copy !req
477. Allow me.
Copy !req
478. We're rivals,
but friends at heart.
Copy !req
479. Until tonight.
Copy !req
480. Out, you cable-knit queen!
Copy !req
481. You were late.
Copy !req
482. I got caught in a text flurry
with Dorota. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
483. I have to get uptown
for a dinner.
Copy !req
484. I assume you're skipping
the parents' thing?
Copy !req
485. I may pop in...
Copy !req
486. For Vanessa's toast,
just for laughs.
Copy !req
487. Are you upset
because you kissed a guy?
Copy !req
488. I'm upset because i kissed
somebody that wasn't you.
Copy !req
489. You really think
I've never kissed a guy before?
Copy !req
490. Love me?
- Always.
Copy !req
491. Oh, well. I tried.
Copy !req
492. Hi.
Copy !req
493. Guess i should, uh,
Copy !req
494. work on keeping
my opinions to myself.
Copy !req
495. I just wanted to say,
tonight i will promise
Copy !req
496. to keep an open mind
about your school,
Copy !req
497. about everything.
Copy !req
498. When you hear my toast,
Copy !req
499. i think you'll understand why
this is the right place for me.
Copy !req
500. Okay.
Copy !req
501. Come here.
Copy !req
502. So what do you think about
going out to eat tonight?
Copy !req
503. Or we could just go
to the parents' dinner.
Copy !req
504. Are you sure? I mean, my parents
are—are gonna be there.
Copy !req
505. Well, then i better be
on my best behavior.
Copy !req
506. Pick me up in an hour?
Copy !req
507. Okay.
Copy !req
508. As for lonely boy,
Copy !req
509. i suspect tonight's going to be
strictly a family affair...
Copy !req
510. To remember.
Copy !req
511. I'll be right back.
I just have to find someone.
Copy !req
512. don't you just adore
the national arts club?
Copy !req
513. Ahh.
It's so "age of innocence."
Copy !req
514. Are you looking
for Mr. Ellis?
Copy !req
515. Because he asked me to give you
a message. Now what was it?
Copy !req
516. Oh, you're not giving
the toast,
Copy !req
517. i am, and there's nothing
you can do about it.
Copy !req
518. What are you talking about?
I won, like always.
Copy !req
519. Please... don't do this.
Copy !req
520. Oh, my god. Are you begging?
Copy !req
521. My mom is here,
Copy !req
522. and you have no idea
what this speech means for me.
Copy !req
523. Please. You're embarrassing
yourself even more than usual.
Copy !req
524. When will you learn?
Copy !req
525. Some people are simply better
than others.
Copy !req
526. don't worry. I'm sure
they're gonna love you.
Copy !req
527. Uh-huh. So you think they're
gonna want my autograph?
Copy !req
528. I-i doubt it.
Copy !req
529. Dad, Lily, this is Olivia.
Rufus Humphrey. Dan has told us
so much about you.
Copy !req
530. Oh,
that dress is beautiful.
Copy !req
531. I recognize it from
the herve leger show.
- Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
532. Except it wasn't on the runway,
so that's kind of impossible.
Copy !req
533. Max azria's, like,
one of my best friends.
Copy !req
534. He does me crazy favors.
Copy !req
535. are you feeling okay?
- Totes.
Copy !req
536. So anyone famous here?
Copy !req
537. I mean, besides me.
Copy !req
538. you there. You're one of Blair's
new minions, aren't you?
Copy !req
539. You're Chuck bass.
Blair said you weren't coming.
Copy !req
540. My dinner canceled.
The emir had to fly home—
Copy !req
541. something about a revolution.
Where is she?
Copy !req
542. Uh, yes, she is.
Mr. Ellis promised if—
Copy !req
543. promised what?
Copy !req
544. Nate.
Copy !req
545. Hey. What are you doing here?
Serena.
Copy !req
546. I heard you talking
to your grandfather.
Copy !req
547. Why would you leak
a fake photo?
Copy !req
548. Are you trying to destroy
Tripp's campaign?
Copy !req
549. No. That's gonna win Tripp
the election.
Copy !req
550. What are you talking about?
Once the buckleys leak it,
we'll release the real photo.
Copy !req
551. It's gonna look like
Copy !req
552. the buckleys planted
the fake one.
Copy !req
553. People are finally gonna
see them
Copy !req
554. Come on, Serena.
He proposed to p.J.'S sister
Copy !req
555. to pay off his gambling debt.
Copy !req
556. Wake up.
The guy's hardly innocent.
Copy !req
557. But i am sorry
i had to lie to you.
Copy !req
558. No, you're not,
but you will be.
Copy !req
559. Manhattan, New York.
P.J. Buckley.
Copy !req
560. No, I'm doing
the mother Teresa movie.
Copy !req
561. Yes. Yeah, Leo's playing
my boyfriend.
Copy !req
562. I'm sure she'll be
just a second.
Copy !req
563. Well, let's just meet
at your pad in the bu.
Copy !req
564. The bu—the bu is Malibu.
Copy !req
565. Oh, yes.
- You know what?
Just give us a moment, please.
Copy !req
566. Uh-huh. Oh! Wait.
I-i gotta go.
Copy !req
567. I love you, too, bitch.
What—what are you doing?
Copy !req
568. What do you mean?
You're referring to the bu,
you're calling your astrologer.
Copy !req
569. Since when do you even have
an astrologer?
I guess ever since
Copy !req
570. i became another shallow
Hollywood celebrity,
Copy !req
571. you know, the kind
that you are so afraid
Copy !req
572. your parents
wouldn't approve of?
What are you talking about?
Copy !req
573. Vanessa told me
that's why you disinvited me.
Copy !req
574. Vanessa? I-i blew this dinner
off because Vanessa told me
Copy !req
575. that you were freaking out
about meeting my parents.
Copy !req
576. What? I never said that.
Copy !req
577. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
578. The lips, the teeth,
the tip of the tongue.
Copy !req
579. The lips, the teeth, the tip...
Of the tongue.
Copy !req
580. Please tell me you're not coming
here to grovel.
Copy !req
581. You really think you're
that much better than me?
Copy !req
582. Oh, i think we both know
the answer to that.
Blair, i have to talk to you.
Copy !req
583. Not now.
Just listen. I—
Copy !req
584. quiet! God, I've had
just about enough of you.
Copy !req
585. Sophie,
you're Minion number one.
Copy !req
586. Amalia, you're number two.
Copy !req
587. So tell me once and for all,
what makes you better than me?
Copy !req
588. Do you really want to know?
Yeah.
Copy !req
589. Everything.
Copy !req
590. Generations of breeding
and wealth
Copy !req
591. had to come together
to produce me.
Copy !req
592. I have more in common with
Marie antoinette than with you.
Copy !req
593. And granted, you may be popular
Copy !req
594. at some step-Ivy safety school,
but the fact is,
Copy !req
595. the rabble is still rabble,
amd they need a queen.
You stole the toast.
Copy !req
596. I was willing to do what
was necessary,
Copy !req
597. including lying to Chuck,
Copy !req
598. the one person who trusts me
more than anyone.
Copy !req
599. Now if you'll excuse me,
i have to give my toast.
Copy !req
600. Actually, Blair...
Copy !req
601. Congratulations.
You just did.
Copy !req
602. Oh, no.
Copy !req
603. Oh, no.
- Sorry, ladies.
Copy !req
604. Le jeux sont fait.
Copy !req
605. Thanks for playing...
Each other.
Copy !req
606. I know i shouldn't have lied.
It's just when Mr. Ellis
Copy !req
607. Wait a second, you were
supposed to give the toast?
Copy !req
608. Why didn't you tell me?
I wanted to surprise you with
this nice toast about being here
Copy !req
609. Why couldn't you just tell me
you wanted to give the toast?
Copy !req
610. When i called and asked
why Dan didn't want me
Copy !req
611. to meet his family, you said
it's because they looked down
Copy !req
612. on Hollywood people like—
and they probably do now,
you know.
Copy !req
613. for his amazing one.
I love Rufus and Lily,
Copy !req
614. and i wish they were
my parents.
- Vanessa?
Copy !req
615. I just want
to wish you luck.
Copy !req
616. Mom.
Copy !req
617. Chuck?
Copy !req
618. Chuck is gone.
Copy !req
619. But i need to talk to him.
I need to explain.
Copy !req
620. Blair, whatever
you needed him to do,
Copy !req
621. do you really think
he would have refused you?
Copy !req
622. No.
Copy !req
623. He'd never say no...
To anything.
Copy !req
624. I messed up, didn't i?
Copy !req
625. Yes. Yes, you really did.
Copy !req
626. Lily,
you're supposed to say,
Copy !req
627. "everything is
going to be fine."
Copy !req
628. Where did you learn how to give
a pep talk—Guantanamo?
Copy !req
629. Blair, i understand a thing
or two about ambitious women,
Copy !req
630. but without trust,
you're lost.
Copy !req
631. Let Chuck lick his wounds.
Copy !req
632. You can talk to him
tomorrow.
Copy !req
633. Serena.
Copy !req
634. You came.
Copy !req
635. Mmm.
Copy !req
636. I'm sorry for all the things
that i said to you
Copy !req
637. at the wedding.
Copy !req
638. I deserved them. Um, look,
Serena, I'm leaving tomorrow.
Copy !req
639. No, you're not.
Copy !req
640. I settled your debt
with the buckleys.
Copy !req
641. What?
Copy !req
642. How?
Copy !req
643. It's a long story, but...
Copy !req
644. I helped p.J. Avoid
a very public fiasco.
Copy !req
645. Nate probably hates me now,
but it doesn't matter.
Copy !req
646. You can stay.
Copy !req
647. I didn't ask
for you to save me.
- I wanted to.
Copy !req
648. Serena, this was my debt
to settle, not yours.
Copy !req
649. If that means
i have to go work on—
work on an oil rig?
Copy !req
650. Carter, i wasn't gonna allow
that to happen.
Copy !req
651. You have nothing to prove
to the buckleys.
Copy !req
652. I wasn't proving it to them.
Copy !req
653. I was proving it to you,
to myself.
Copy !req
654. I wanted to take responsibility
for what i did.
Copy !req
655. I have to go.
Copy !req
656. No.
Copy !req
657. I saw the way you looked at me
at the wedding,
Copy !req
658. and i see the way
that you're looking at me now.
Copy !req
659. I think I'd rather...
Have you hate me
Copy !req
660. than feel sorry for me.
Copy !req
661. Please.
Copy !req
662. Mom.
Copy !req
663. Please.
Copy !req
664. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
665. Vanessa,
we are so hard on you
Copy !req
666. because we want you to challenge
yourself to be your own person.
Copy !req
667. Are we really wrong
to—to question your decision
Copy !req
668. to attend college here?
Copy !req
669. I think it's time
Copy !req
670. for you to consider who
this place is turning you into.
Copy !req
671. Your parents hate me.
I hate me.
Copy !req
672. We'll just explain what
happened. You'll be fine.
Copy !req
673. Maybe she's different
when they're alone.
- Ahem.
Copy !req
674. Maybe
she's totally different.
- Ahem.
Copy !req
675. Oh, hey.
We missed you guys.
Yes, very much.
Copy !req
676. Oh, god.
Dan,
was that Blair on the p.A.?
Copy !req
677. but, uh, before,
when Olivia was,
Copy !req
678. i don't know, i guess she was
being all Hollywood—
oh, what?
Copy !req
679. Ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
680. it's time
for this year's freshman toast,
Copy !req
681. and it's my honor
to call upon Olivia Burke.
Copy !req
682. What?
Copy !req
683. I was not expecting this.
Copy !req
684. Olivia, can i get a picture?
Me, too.
Copy !req
685. Oh, sure. Um...
Copy !req
686. Nice try, ladies.
Copy !req
687. You came out swinging
but never stood a chance
Copy !req
688. against
a Hollywood heavyweight.
Copy !req
689. Why did we do all this?
You tell me.
Copy !req
690. Hi. I'm Olivia Burke.
Copy !req
691. Okay, Dan, the humiliation
has got to end,
Copy !req
692. it'll be fine this time.
I promise. I hope.
Copy !req
693. Hey.
There you are.
Copy !req
694. Hi. I'm Jenny.
Copy !req
695. It's nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
Copy !req
696. So, uh,
do you really know Leo?
Copy !req
697. Um, it was just a joke
to lighten the mood.
Copy !req
698. Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey, I'm
really sorry about yesterday.
Copy !req
699. Dan, already explained
everything. Let's talk toppings.
Copy !req
700. We have whipped cream,
strawberries, chocolate chips.
Copy !req
701. And, uh,
does anyone want coffee?
Copy !req
702. Jenny, wait. Um...
Copy !req
703. My "welcome back, kotter"
mugs.
Copy !req
704. Yes, well, it wouldn't be
our home without them.
Copy !req
705. Olivia, you get the, uh,
Vinnie barbarino.
Copy !req
706. You know, Travolta has,
uh, a set of these.
Copy !req
707. He got really upset
when i accidentally cracked
Copy !req
708. his Freddie "boom-boom"
Washington.
Copy !req
709. I'm just kidding.
Hey, let's eat.
Copy !req
710. Oh.
Copy !req
711. Oh, you weren't kidding,
were you?
Copy !req
712. No.
Copy !req
713. What do you want, Blair?
Copy !req
714. Forgiveness.
Copy !req
715. I'm so sorry, Chuck.
Copy !req
716. I made a mistake.
Copy !req
717. I know there's no excuse,
but... it was just a kiss.
Copy !req
718. The people you manipulate—
Copy !req
719. i know how little respect
you have for them.
Copy !req
720. But not you. I don't feel
that way about you.
Copy !req
721. And i won't ever do it again.
I promise.
Copy !req
722. It was a mistake.
I'm in a meeting.
Copy !req
723. Call you later?
Copy !req
724. hey, mom. I'm at the place.
I ordered you a croissant.
Copy !req
725. Oh, honey, thank you,
but I'm already on the road.
- Oh.
Copy !req
726. Yeah, it's such a long drive,
and i wanted to get an early—
no, i get it.
Copy !req
727. And i can't leave your dad
alone too long.
Copy !req
728. Yeah, t-tell dad i said hi.
Copy !req
729. I will. Love you.
Copy !req
730. Me, too.
Copy !req
731. when it comes to family, we're
all still children at heart.
Copy !req
732. yes.
Copy !req
733. hey.
Copy !req
734. No matter how old we get,
Copy !req
735. we always need a place
to call home.
Copy !req
736. Because without the people
you love most...
Copy !req
737. you can't help but feel
all alone in the world.
Copy !req
738. you want it?
Copy !req
739. thanks.
Copy !req
740. fortunately,
misery loves company—
Copy !req
741. well, for now at least.
Copy !req
742. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.
Copy !req