Gossip Girl 3x6

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. Yeah. Yeah, i do. Don't you think that dating a movie star

3. is gonna be hard? We're completely monogamous. It's just one of our games.

4. Chuck plays the cheating bastard,

5. and i play the scorned woman. What happens when one day you don't get there in time,

6. Just like going to an Ivy is your family's way,

7. not going to college is mine. I met this woman.

8. I knew they'd take care of my debts, so i proposed.

9. So what, you just disappeared? It's the worst thing I've ever done.

10. And who am i?

11. That's a secret I'll never tell.

12. You know you love me.

13. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

14. But what truly defines

15. tonight's honored guest

16. is not something that can be easily categorized...

17. (Man) The distinguished-looking gentleman at the podium

18. is an alumnus of the university.

19. He will go on speaking for a long time.

20. It is not important that you hear what he says.

21. In closing, those of us at the university

22. will have had the pleasure

23. of getting to know tonight's recipient,

24. know that she is a kind and gentle soul. Hey, you okay?

25. What? No. No, i am not okay.

26. her humility, her devotion, her love for us.

27. Ladies and gentlemen,

28. miss Vanessa Abrams.

29. No.

30. No!

31. No!

32. - Bad dream?

33. Don't tell me it was "charade" again.

34. I know how terrifying you find Walter matthau.

35. Worse. I was in "all about Eve." That's not a hepburn movie.

36. I know.

37. I was Bette Davis.

38. I've never been Bette Davis before.

39. I'm Audrey hepburn,

40. not some plain baby Jane.

41. Who was Eve?

42. I couldn't see her face.

43. Blair, we both know this is about N.Y.U.

44. Now it may take time,

45. but one day you will hold that school

46. in the palm of your dainty hand.

47. I'm Audrey.

48. I'm Audrey.

49. Well, thank you, councilman.

50. I know my cousin appreciates your support.

51. Yes, I'll be sure to tell him. Thanks.

52. When did Tripp decide to run for congress?

53. And should somebody tell him

54. the election is not until next year?

55. Well, after congressman kruger died,

56. a house seat opened up in Manhattan.

57. You know grandfather. He figured, why wait?

58. and with the buckleys buying up all these attack ads

59. against his campaign, I'm taking it kind of personally.

60. Yeah. Have you—have you spoken to Bree lately?

61. No. You spoken to Carter?

62. Not since my mom's wedding.

63. I've left him a dozen messages.

64. I don't know if he's mad at me or—

65. well, Serena, that's why i called.

66. Supposedly the buckleys are flying him out to galveston

67. so he can work off his debt.

68. Work it off how? On one of the family oil rigs.

69. Th-that's crazy. It would take him, like, 20 years

70. to earn that kind of money. I think they're more interested in getting Carter

71. out to the Gulf with a bunch of Texas roughnecks.

72. So it's not like he's going to be making a lot of friends.

73. No, please tell me this is a joke.

74. Don't worry. I have an idea.

75. Yes. Yes. Lily loves her Jefferson airplane.

76. uh, each day gets better than the one before. It must be,

77. if you're packing these "welcome back, kotter" mugs.

78. "In just a few short months, freshman leader Vanessa Abrams

79. has tackled numerous social and environmental issues."

80. What is that? Oh, it's just a wildly flattering cover story

81. on Vanessa in the N.Y.U. Paper. It doesn't mean anything.

82. Except that she's a shoo-in to give the toast

83. He's the alumnus who decides who gives the toast.

84. Supposedly it's between me and some other girl.

85. I probably won't get it. Well, speech or no speech,

86. i-i hope you're inviting your parents.

87. You're kidding, right? My parents hate

88. that I'm at a private college, "buying" an elitist education.

89. "Knowledge shouldn't be for sale."

90. Sure, Arlo and Gabriela are progressive,

91. but if they knew how much good you were doing at the school,

92. I'm sure they'd come around.

93. It would be kind of amazing if they came

94. and, you know, actually approved of something i was doing.

95. But whatever. I haven't been chosen yet, so...

96. Well, you will be.

97. And tomorrow night, Dan and i will be there front and center.

98. Oh, um, yeah, you know what?

99. Actually, Olivia just got back from Japan.

100. I was hoping we would hang out tomorrow night. So bring Olivia.

101. Or not. It's your call. I-i don't want to force you.

102. what? What? We—we just started dating.

103. Isn't it a little soon for meet the parents?

104. Not for Olivia. She seems really easygoing and into you.

105. Yeah, seriously, Dan. Play the parent card.

106. People like you more when they meet our family. It's true.

107. All right. Okay. A-all right. I'll invite her.

108. Oh, that's awesome.

109. It's gonna be a great night for the Humphreys.

110. And who knows? Maybe the abramses.

111. Wait. Bree's cousin hosts a poker game?

112. Yeah, p.J. Buckley. Picture, like, a young j.R. Ewing

113. in earnest sewn jeans.

114. And you really think he'll play for Carter's debt?

115. Oh, I've seen his friends bet thoroughbreds,

116. an island in the Seychelles, the Knicks.

117. Okay, but what makes you think we'll win?

118. You're not exactly a card shark.

119. Well, this one night at the maidstone,

120. Bree told me every one of p.J.'S tells.

121. So you'll know exactly when to call his bluff.

122. Wait. Me?

123. Oh, yeah. You're gonna be playing.

124. Nate.

125. No.

126. Well, Serena, p.J. Hates me.

127. I mean, luckily, he likes blondes, though.

128. And didn't you spend a Summer in monte Carlo with your mom,

129. when she dated Carlos mortensen? - I was 9.

130. Carlos taught me to play using necco wafers as chips.

131. Well, just imagine Carter owes the buckleys

132. half a million necco wafers.

133. "... and Ms. Abrams has even been mentioned

134. "as a contender to deliver this year's toast

135. at the freshman dinner." Oh, my god. Enough.

136. I am in no mood to hear you Fawn over some girl

137. with tacky accessories who lives to recycle.

138. Blair, didn't you ask Mr. Ellis

139. if you could give the freshman speech?

140. I put out feelers. That's totally different.

141. Of course. I'd be honored, Mr. Ellis. Thank you.

142. You.

143. Yeah, Blair, me.

144. F.Y.I.--One insipid article does not mean people here like you.

145. The fever will pass, like swine flu.

146. Really? Huh. Then i wonder why Josh Ellis—

147. he's this kind of important alumni liaison—

148. told me to start working on my toast for the freshman dinner.

149. I love it. You know, cobalt's my favorite color.

150. Push the button.

151. It's 11:45.

152. Your hair is so pleasing.

153. It's a compliment watch.

154. And it flatters in three different languages. Oh, my god.

155. This is the greatest watch in the history of all watches.

156. The Swiss should be ashamed for not thinking of it first.

157. So, um, what are you gonna do this weekend to thank me? Uh, you know,

158. actually, um, about that, i was thinking i would invite you

159. to the parents' weekend freshman dinner

160. with, uh, with me and my parents.

161. And i-i know you're probably exhausted. I would love to.

162. Really? Are you sure? 'Cause you heard the part

163. about my parents, right? Dan, the last three guys i dated—

164. i met their agent, their manager,

165. their publicist,

166. a personal trainer who also read tarot cards,

167. and i never met a single one of their parents.

168. I would love to meet yours.

169. I missed you.

170. It's 11:46.

171. Your teeth shine like diamonds.

172. It's true.

173. It's very true. - Mm.

174. You've reached Arlo and Gabriela Abrams.

175. Pay it forward.

176. Hey, mom, dad.

177. Look, i know you guys aren't happy that I'm at N.Y.U.,

178. but I'm giving this toast tomorrow night,

179. and it's kind of a big honor.

180. And it would mean so, so much to me if you came,

181. so i hope you can.

182. Careful, v.

183. Don't send out your invitations just yet.

184. We hear another girl has her eyes on the prize.

185. Montesquieu, Churchill, Hobbes—

186. I'm thinking my toast should touch on...

187. Tradition, virtue,

188. the divine right of the monarchy.

189. But, Blair, Vanessa's giving the toast.

190. Not when I'm done.

191. Mao, sun-tzu, of course,

192. napoléon's always good for a few zingers.

193. Though things are rarely as simple as they appear.

194. This is Josh Ellis.

195. Oh.

196. Well I'm thrilled he changed your mind.

197. Of course we'd still love to have you give the toast.

198. Yes, there was another girl,

199. but we hadn't fully committed to her.

200. We definitely want you.

201. Great. I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Ellis.

202. Good-bye, jet lag. Hello, triple ristretto.

203. Yes. - What was that?

204. Just a surprise.

205. And something tells me we're in for a show.

206. Now, Ms. Waldorf, if this is about

207. letting you give the freshman toast,

208. like i told you last week, I'd love to help you out, but—

209. actually, Mr. Ellis, I'm here to help you.

210. Simply put,

211. Vanessa Abrams is a tired cliché from the 7-1-8.

212. The preachy "i hate the man" toast she no doubt has in mind

213. won't inspire the kind of deep-pocket donations

214. this school needs.

215. You need a speaker more like, well, me.

216. Ms. Waldorf, yes, last week i narrowed my search

217. down to two candidates. But just moments ago,

218. our first choice, Olivia Burke, accepted our invitation.

219. Then why does activist Abrams

220. still think she's giving the toast?

221. Vanessa was the other student that we were considering.

222. You see, initially, Olivia wasn't planning on attending,

223. but then luckily, for everyone,

224. her new boyfriend convinced her otherwise.

225. Yes, she is very famous.

226. Mm-hmm. - But she's a 2-quadrant speaker.

227. Is it smart to lose everyone over 25 on parents' weekend?

228. Besides, actresses are notoriously unreliable.

229. Ms. Waldorf, even if Olivia's schedule did change,

230. Vanessa would still be my next choice.

231. So...

232. I'm very busy.

233. I'll see you soon, mom.

234. Oh, no. Mnh-mnh. You are not trying to steal my toast.

235. Nobody told you.

236. Olivia, your dear roommate, is giving the toast.

237. Poor Vanessa.

238. Always the understudy, never the star.

239. Olivia's the other girl?

240. And i was the one who told Dan to bring her.

241. Irony certainly can be cruel.

242. Did i overhear your long-absent mother

243. is coming to hear you speak? Tragic.

244. Well, I'll just tell Olivia how much this toast means to me,

245. and then she'll step down.

246. Yeah, probably. Though, then again, she might not. Nice try, Blair.

247. Well, I'm just saying, we all know Olivia loves the spotlight.

248. She is an actress.

249. Then I'll ask Dan not to bring her. Another idea with some merit.

250. See, that's where you and i are different.

251. I would never put my fate in someone else's hands,

252. and that's why i always win, and you lose.

253. So good luck with your honesty.

254. Maybe you and mom could take in a show instead.

255. (man) Well, well, well.

256. Nate Archibald. You looking for a game?

257. I'm—I'm afraid we— we don't have a seat for you.

258. Oh, I'm not here to play. She is.

259. That is unless you're afraid to play a girl.

260. Buy-in's $25,000.

261. That's a lot of money.

262. So don't lose.

263. pull up a seat, darlin'.

264. you're kidding, right?

265. You're the one who told me to invite her. - I know.

266. Remember the whole "people like you better

267. and not to mention, she's been in Japan for ten days.

268. I mean, she's probably having reverse culture shock. Yeah, okay. All right.

269. So do you have any, uh, non-insane reasons? Well, I'm just saying,

270. why don't you do something more casual but also romantic?

271. Vanessa, what is going on? Nothing.

272. Uh-huh. I need a refill.

273. Okay, but you have to promise me you won't say anything,

274. because this officially makes me the worst roommate ever.

275. Just tell me.

276. Olivia's freaking out about meeting your parents.

277. What? I-i talked to her, like, two hours ago,

278. and she said she was looking forward to it. I guess she changed her mind

279. or doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

280. Really? I mean, yeah, of course. And i know this is my fault,

281. but tell her you want to have a great night,

282. just the two of you. And make my special chicken?

283. I'll give you a recipe. Okay.

284. Hey, Abrams, thank you for, uh, the heads-up.

285. What are friends for?

286. Trip queens.

287. It just— it doesn't feel right,

288. you know, taking a beautiful woman's money.

289. I'm getting crushed here. Hey, don't worry.

290. P.J.'S on tilt. This is where you hook him.

291. Archibald, you want to call it a night?

292. I can spot you cab fare.

293. Just get him to bet Carter and remember the tells.

294. Actually, p.J., we're gonna buy back in.

295. But we're upping the stakes.

296. What are you thinking of playing for?

297. Yeah, not likely.

298. How about Carter Baizen?

299. Ohh.

300. I get it. You're—you're Carter's girl.

301. Well, bad news, sweetheart,

302. Carter's debt is a lot more than you're showing.

303. You know, can we get some, uh, some privacy?

304. I tell you what. You bet Carter,

305. and I'll bet...

306. A photo of Tripp Van Der bilt...

307. From the night of his bachelor party.

308. Your family will kill you.

309. That'll cost Tripp the election. Like i said, don't lose.

310. Let's play some cards.

311. I'm sorry to cancel on you like this, Mr. Ellis.

312. You have a backup speaker, right?

313. Okay. Good.

314. All right. Uh, good-bye.

315. Everything okay?

316. Um, Dan has decided to cook dinner for me

317. instead of going out with his parents.

318. He probably just wants more one-on-one time.

319. I'll bet he has something special planned, like chicken.

320. Yeah. - Or something.

321. Yeah. Um, i brought you this. It's an anime goblin claw.

322. They are huge in Japan right now.

323. I just thought it was kind of funny. - Thanks.

324. I shouldn't be freaking out, right?

325. I mean, i can meet his parents anytime. Yeah.

326. Um, I'll be right back.

327. Okay.

328. Hi, Mr. Ellis.

329. Um...

330. No.

331. I'd still love to give the toast.

332. Thank you.

333. Tell machiavelli i hope she enjoys my toast.

334. Vanessa's giving the toast again.

335. And she's got some big pink claw thing.

336. Well, i don't know about that. However, phase one is complete.

337. But even with Olivia out of the way,

338. you still don't have the toast.

339. Oh, my goodness.

340. You're right.

341. Thank you, Amalia.

342. When are you going to learn to have a little faith?

343. Chuck, my love,

344. i was thinking, remember our game from the Summer?

345. Well, i have the perfect target already picked out.

346. So what's a sweet girl like you

347. doing with a guy like Carter Baizen, hmm?

348. You heard what happened to my sister, right?

349. Heartbroken,

350. 30 pounds fatter.

351. Bet.

352. $20,000.

353. All in.

354. You sure you want to play this hand for Carter?

355. fine.

356. I'll call.

357. Kings.

358. Aces.

359. You know, a picture really is worth a thousand words.

360. Or in this case,

361. an election.

362. Nate, thanks for stopping by.

363. Uh-oh. Looks like Carter's going down to Texas,

364. and Tripp's career is going up in smoke.

365. Hey. You made it.

366. Hey.

367. Rufus!

368. Oh! Come here. Would you let me look at you?

369. Lay off the caffeine, huh? It's giving you wrinkles.

370. Ah. I'm sorry Arlo couldn't make it.

371. He says hello. He had to finish installing the solar panels

372. on the chicken Coop at the co-op.

373. We have been so busy organizing the local 72,

374. the, uh, the union for the burlington cheesemakers.

375. Aha. - Yeah.

376. Yeah. - Mom, this is Lily.

377. Oh, it is such a pleasure to finally meet Vanessa's mother. Gabriela.

378. Oh, Rufus... We're not in Brooklyn anymore.

379. Uh, uh, I'm still moving in. It's Lily's place.

380. Oh, it is both of our place.

381. Uh, mom, didn't you bring that for Lily?

382. Oh, yes, i did. Homemade strawberry rhubarb.

383. Thank you. - Oh. Mmm.

384. Wow. Well, you and your husband must be so proud of Vanessa.

385. Oh, yes. Vanessa has always been

386. a very thoughtful and driven young woman.

387. This school is the perfect fit for her.

388. Well...

389. Here we go. To be completely honest,

390. my husband and i don't believe in private universities.

391. Knowledge should not be for sale.

392. Well... - Well... yes. Oh.

393. Who's hungry? - Lovely.

394. I must confess, I've missed our little game.

395. Though it appears your lady is late.

396. Actually, there she is now.

397. she's a guy.

398. Who took my speech at the freshman dinner

399. and gave it to Vanessa Abrams.

400. He double-crossed me, and I... Demand satisfaction.

401. You still up for it?

402. Mm, my wonderful man.

403. I'll just go powder my nose for ten minutes?

404. I only need five.

405. Can i help you?

406. Oh, definitely.

407. I don't know if p.J. Is not as stupid as he looks,

408. but, Nate, those tells were wrong. What are you gonna do?

409. Well, of course i had to tell my grandfather what happened.

410. I mean, i have completely destroyed

411. Tripp's political career. No. No, Nate. Let me talk to him. Please.

412. Oh, it's William right here. - Nate.

413. No. Serena, i can handle it. Hello, grandfather.

414. Ugh.

415. Is, uh, Nate Archibald in there?

416. He's got a phone call— p.J. Buckley.

417. Okay. Yeah. I'll tell him. Thank you.

418. P.J. Thinks he won the picture.

419. Yeah, i have the real one.

420. I mean, i feel bad about lying to Serena, but it worked.

421. Okay.

422. Gabriela, this strawberry rhubarb jam to die for.

423. Thank you. It's the agave. I refuse to use sugar.

424. Mmm. - Mm-hmm. Oh, Rufus, will we be seeing Daniel at the dinner?

425. I had hoped so, but unfortunately not.

426. He has a date tonight. With Vanessa's roommate, Olivia Burke.

427. Didn't she tell you? - Lily.

428. She is a very famous actress.

429. I'm afraid i don't worship at the altar

430. of shallow Hollywood celebrities. Oh.

431. But apparently your school does. Mom, can you not do this right now?

432. Honey, these institutions are businesses first.

433. I mean, was this girl even qualified to enter...

434. - And also one of the nicest, smartest people

435. I've met at college. Excuse me.

436. Hey. How is your date?

437. Great.

438. Dan's making Indian chicken.

439. Moroccan, actually.

440. Oh. Uh, look, i know i shouldn't be asking you this.

441. I was just wondering,

442. why did Dan change his mind about me meeting his parents?

443. I must have done something to scare him off.

444. You can tell me the truth. I promise. - No, you didn't do anything.

445. Well, i must have.

446. You know what? I'm just gonna ask him.

447. No!

448. Look, Dan's parents are just

449. really judgmental, and they're always going on

450. about celebrities and the dumbing down of culture. So he's worried

451. his parents will think I'm some shallow Hollywood pinhead?

452. No— - like Dan's embarrassed to introduce me to them?

453. Olivia, Dan just wants to protect you from them.

454. You know what, Vanessa?

455. You don't need to make excuses for him, okay? I get it.

456. I gotta go.

457. so where do you get your hair cut?

458. Oh, uh, trumper's, off piccadilly.

459. tut, tut.

460. I'm not that kind of girl.

461. Do you have a boyfriend?

462. Not exactly.

463. Wait. - What for?

464. Ah.

465. what the... Mr. Ellis.

466. Blair Waldorf. Oh, lord.

467. I-i have to go.

468. Don't you run away from me.

469. Hey! Have you no sense of decency?

470. Well, you got your kiss.

471. Number 27 on the Tribeca scavenger hunt—

472. kiss the Chuck bass.

473. Check.

474. I expect more from a representative of a college!

475. And the toast? Oh, a deal's a deal. It's all yours.

476. I should call Vanessa, break the bad news.

477. Allow me.

478. We're rivals, but friends at heart.

479. Until tonight.

480. Out, you cable-knit queen!

481. You were late.

482. I got caught in a text flurry with Dorota. I'm sorry.

483. I have to get uptown for a dinner.

484. I assume you're skipping the parents' thing?

485. I may pop in...

486. For Vanessa's toast, just for laughs.

487. Are you upset because you kissed a guy?

488. I'm upset because i kissed somebody that wasn't you.

489. You really think I've never kissed a guy before?

490. Love me? - Always.

491. Oh, well. I tried.

492. Hi.

493. Guess i should, uh,

494. work on keeping my opinions to myself.

495. I just wanted to say, tonight i will promise

496. to keep an open mind about your school,

497. about everything.

498. When you hear my toast,

499. i think you'll understand why this is the right place for me.

500. Okay.

501. Come here.

502. So what do you think about going out to eat tonight?

503. Or we could just go to the parents' dinner.

504. Are you sure? I mean, my parents are—are gonna be there.

505. Well, then i better be on my best behavior.

506. Pick me up in an hour?

507. Okay.

508. As for lonely boy,

509. i suspect tonight's going to be strictly a family affair...

510. To remember.

511. I'll be right back. I just have to find someone.

512. don't you just adore the national arts club?

513. Ahh. It's so "age of innocence."

514. Are you looking for Mr. Ellis?

515. Because he asked me to give you a message. Now what was it?

516. Oh, you're not giving the toast,

517. i am, and there's nothing you can do about it.

518. What are you talking about? I won, like always.

519. Please... don't do this.

520. Oh, my god. Are you begging?

521. My mom is here,

522. and you have no idea what this speech means for me.

523. Please. You're embarrassing yourself even more than usual.

524. When will you learn?

525. Some people are simply better than others.

526. don't worry. I'm sure they're gonna love you.

527. Uh-huh. So you think they're gonna want my autograph?

528. I-i doubt it.

529. Dad, Lily, this is Olivia. Rufus Humphrey. Dan has told us so much about you.

530. Oh, that dress is beautiful.

531. I recognize it from the herve leger show. - Oh, yeah?

532. Except it wasn't on the runway, so that's kind of impossible.

533. Max azria's, like, one of my best friends.

534. He does me crazy favors.

535. are you feeling okay? - Totes.

536. So anyone famous here?

537. I mean, besides me.

538. you there. You're one of Blair's new minions, aren't you?

539. You're Chuck bass. Blair said you weren't coming.

540. My dinner canceled. The emir had to fly home—

541. something about a revolution. Where is she?

542. Uh, yes, she is. Mr. Ellis promised if—

543. promised what?

544. Nate.

545. Hey. What are you doing here? Serena.

546. I heard you talking to your grandfather.

547. Why would you leak a fake photo?

548. Are you trying to destroy Tripp's campaign?

549. No. That's gonna win Tripp the election.

550. What are you talking about? Once the buckleys leak it, we'll release the real photo.

551. It's gonna look like

552. the buckleys planted the fake one.

553. People are finally gonna see them

554. Come on, Serena. He proposed to p.J.'S sister

555. to pay off his gambling debt.

556. Wake up. The guy's hardly innocent.

557. But i am sorry i had to lie to you.

558. No, you're not, but you will be.

559. Manhattan, New York. P.J. Buckley.

560. No, I'm doing the mother Teresa movie.

561. Yes. Yeah, Leo's playing my boyfriend.

562. I'm sure she'll be just a second.

563. Well, let's just meet at your pad in the bu.

564. The bu—the bu is Malibu.

565. Oh, yes. - You know what? Just give us a moment, please.

566. Uh-huh. Oh! Wait. I-i gotta go.

567. I love you, too, bitch. What—what are you doing?

568. What do you mean? You're referring to the bu, you're calling your astrologer.

569. Since when do you even have an astrologer? I guess ever since

570. i became another shallow Hollywood celebrity,

571. you know, the kind that you are so afraid

572. your parents wouldn't approve of? What are you talking about?

573. Vanessa told me that's why you disinvited me.

574. Vanessa? I-i blew this dinner off because Vanessa told me

575. that you were freaking out about meeting my parents.

576. What? I never said that.

577. Oh, my god.

578. The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue.

579. The lips, the teeth, the tip... Of the tongue.

580. Please tell me you're not coming here to grovel.

581. You really think you're that much better than me?

582. Oh, i think we both know the answer to that. Blair, i have to talk to you.

583. Not now. Just listen. I—

584. quiet! God, I've had just about enough of you.

585. Sophie, you're Minion number one.

586. Amalia, you're number two.

587. So tell me once and for all, what makes you better than me?

588. Do you really want to know? Yeah.

589. Everything.

590. Generations of breeding and wealth

591. had to come together to produce me.

592. I have more in common with Marie antoinette than with you.

593. And granted, you may be popular

594. at some step-Ivy safety school, but the fact is,

595. the rabble is still rabble, amd they need a queen. You stole the toast.

596. I was willing to do what was necessary,

597. including lying to Chuck,

598. the one person who trusts me more than anyone.

599. Now if you'll excuse me, i have to give my toast.

600. Actually, Blair...

601. Congratulations. You just did.

602. Oh, no.

603. Oh, no. - Sorry, ladies.

604. Le jeux sont fait.

605. Thanks for playing... Each other.

606. I know i shouldn't have lied. It's just when Mr. Ellis

607. Wait a second, you were supposed to give the toast?

608. Why didn't you tell me? I wanted to surprise you with this nice toast about being here

609. Why couldn't you just tell me you wanted to give the toast?

610. When i called and asked why Dan didn't want me

611. to meet his family, you said it's because they looked down

612. on Hollywood people like— and they probably do now, you know.

613. for his amazing one. I love Rufus and Lily,

614. and i wish they were my parents. - Vanessa?

615. I just want to wish you luck.

616. Mom.

617. Chuck?

618. Chuck is gone.

619. But i need to talk to him. I need to explain.

620. Blair, whatever you needed him to do,

621. do you really think he would have refused you?

622. No.

623. He'd never say no... To anything.

624. I messed up, didn't i?

625. Yes. Yes, you really did.

626. Lily, you're supposed to say,

627. "everything is going to be fine."

628. Where did you learn how to give a pep talk—Guantanamo?

629. Blair, i understand a thing or two about ambitious women,

630. but without trust, you're lost.

631. Let Chuck lick his wounds.

632. You can talk to him tomorrow.

633. Serena.

634. You came.

635. Mmm.

636. I'm sorry for all the things that i said to you

637. at the wedding.

638. I deserved them. Um, look, Serena, I'm leaving tomorrow.

639. No, you're not.

640. I settled your debt with the buckleys.

641. What?

642. How?

643. It's a long story, but...

644. I helped p.J. Avoid a very public fiasco.

645. Nate probably hates me now, but it doesn't matter.

646. You can stay.

647. I didn't ask for you to save me. - I wanted to.

648. Serena, this was my debt to settle, not yours.

649. If that means i have to go work on— work on an oil rig?

650. Carter, i wasn't gonna allow that to happen.

651. You have nothing to prove to the buckleys.

652. I wasn't proving it to them.

653. I was proving it to you, to myself.

654. I wanted to take responsibility for what i did.

655. I have to go.

656. No.

657. I saw the way you looked at me at the wedding,

658. and i see the way that you're looking at me now.

659. I think I'd rather... Have you hate me

660. than feel sorry for me.

661. Please.

662. Mom.

663. Please.

664. I'm so sorry.

665. Vanessa, we are so hard on you

666. because we want you to challenge yourself to be your own person.

667. Are we really wrong to—to question your decision

668. to attend college here?

669. I think it's time

670. for you to consider who this place is turning you into.

671. Your parents hate me. I hate me.

672. We'll just explain what happened. You'll be fine.

673. Maybe she's different when they're alone. - Ahem.

674. Maybe she's totally different. - Ahem.

675. Oh, hey. We missed you guys. Yes, very much.

676. Oh, god. Dan, was that Blair on the p.A.?

677. but, uh, before, when Olivia was,

678. i don't know, i guess she was being all Hollywood— oh, what?

679. Ladies and gentlemen,

680. it's time for this year's freshman toast,

681. and it's my honor to call upon Olivia Burke.

682. What?

683. I was not expecting this.

684. Olivia, can i get a picture? Me, too.

685. Oh, sure. Um...

686. Nice try, ladies.

687. You came out swinging but never stood a chance

688. against a Hollywood heavyweight.

689. Why did we do all this? You tell me.

690. Hi. I'm Olivia Burke.

691. Okay, Dan, the humiliation has got to end,

692. it'll be fine this time. I promise. I hope.

693. Hey. There you are.

694. Hi. I'm Jenny.

695. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.

696. So, uh, do you really know Leo?

697. Um, it was just a joke to lighten the mood.

698. Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey, I'm really sorry about yesterday.

699. Dan, already explained everything. Let's talk toppings.

700. We have whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate chips.

701. And, uh, does anyone want coffee?

702. Jenny, wait. Um...

703. My "welcome back, kotter" mugs.

704. Yes, well, it wouldn't be our home without them.

705. Olivia, you get the, uh, Vinnie barbarino.

706. You know, Travolta has, uh, a set of these.

707. He got really upset when i accidentally cracked

708. his Freddie "boom-boom" Washington.

709. I'm just kidding. Hey, let's eat.

710. Oh.

711. Oh, you weren't kidding, were you?

712. No.

713. What do you want, Blair?

714. Forgiveness.

715. I'm so sorry, Chuck.

716. I made a mistake.

717. I know there's no excuse, but... it was just a kiss.

718. The people you manipulate—

719. i know how little respect you have for them.

720. But not you. I don't feel that way about you.

721. And i won't ever do it again. I promise.

722. It was a mistake. I'm in a meeting.

723. Call you later?

724. hey, mom. I'm at the place. I ordered you a croissant.

725. Oh, honey, thank you, but I'm already on the road. - Oh.

726. Yeah, it's such a long drive, and i wanted to get an early— no, i get it.

727. And i can't leave your dad alone too long.

728. Yeah, t-tell dad i said hi.

729. I will. Love you.

730. Me, too.

731. when it comes to family, we're all still children at heart.

732. yes.

733. hey.

734. No matter how old we get,

735. we always need a place to call home.

736. Because without the people you love most...

737. you can't help but feel all alone in the world.

738. you want it?

739. thanks.

740. fortunately, misery loves company—

741. well, for now at least.

742. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.