Gossip Girl 3x4

1. (Gossip girl) Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. I can't rule the N.Y.U. Masses from the Upper East Side.

3. I need to spend time in the dorm to establish myself as queen. It's not constance, Blair.

4. I'm glad you're not wearing that raccoon makeup anymore,

5. 'cause you looked like one of the incredibles. Oh, thanks a lot.

6. I don't want to be queen. For what it's worth, i choose you.

7. I'm Rufus and Lily's son.

8. I wanted to say good-bye before i left for Boston.

9. You're not going to brown. You're scared to tell your mom. Let me help you with this.

10. And who am i?

11. That's a secret I'll never tell.

12. You know you love me.

13. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

14. The first day of a new queen's reign...

15. Nervous subjects Twitter and tweet—

16. will she continue where the old queen left off

17. or strike out on her own?

18. and what of queen b.?

19. We hear N.Y.U. Is not yet under her golden thumb.

20. Is she biding her time or simply doing time?

21. but the real story this morning is a queen of the silver screen

22. just enrolled at N.Y.U.

23. Rumor has it she wants to keep a low profile.

24. Sorry, your majesty. Not if i can help it.

25. How have you never heard of Olivia Burke?

26. Come on. I thought you lived in Brooklyn, not a cave.

27. (Laughs) No, i-i think i have heard of her.

28. She's, uh, what, she's the star of those zombie pirate movies?

29. (Scoffs) Vam-vampire knights. Oh, that makes more sense.

30. No, that "endless knights" series

31. has made, like, a billion dollars.

32. It's king Arthur with vampires. Are you serious right now? - Uh...

33. No, she plays Guinevere,

34. but, like, a hot, blood-sucking Guinevere.

35. Well, being that i have no idea what she looks like,

36. I'll make sure to keep an eye out for her.

37. Hey, uh, one coffee, please. (Man) Sure.

38. Hey, man. I gotta run. I got a 10:00 class.

39. Um, don't forget to read my hawthorne paper. Yeah, that's right.

40. I'll see you, man. - Cool.

41. That's a buck 50. Oh, you know what? I think i forgot my wallet.

42. Hold on. I think i got change in here. Hold on a second.

43. You know what? Um, there you go.

44. No, no, no, no. You don't have to do that. Please.

45. Karma. It'll come back to me.

46. Okay. All right. Thank you. That's incredibly nice.

47. You're welcome. - I'm Dan.

48. I'm, uh, Kate.

49. It's very nice to meet you, Kate.

50. He's an overexaggerated smilodon with comical green hair. (Man) What?

51. Yeah. Nonsense. Clearly battle cat is a relative

52. of the royal Indian tiger. - No.

53. They look exactly alike. Have you even— - no.

54. Excuse me. I'm looking for

55. the masters of the universe society. And you have found us.

56. No, i think you misheard.

57. I said the "masters of the universe."

58. It's a term used for wall streeters.

59. Not that i give two hoots about finance.

60. I just need to know that in this misbegotten corner

61. of Manhattan, that wealth, ambition and moral laxity

62. are alive and well.

63. Young lady, i said we are the masters of the universe—

64. a society dedicated to promulgating the philosophical

65. and political messages contained

66. in the 1981 to '83 cartoon featuring he-man.

67. We also do role-playing.

68. Oh, my god.

69. What are you doing? You don't tell a girl you do role-playing. I love role-playing, all right?

70. Good morning, beautiful. N.Y.U. Is hell.

71. What do you expect from a place where the men wear sandals?

72. Look, just be thankful Georgina's visiting her parents

73. in Connecticut for the week. How can i rule over people i don't understand?

74. It's hopeless.

75. You know, today is the first day of constance.

76. Do you remember?

77. How you used to mortar and pestle

78. all those hopeful young spirits? Look, the day will come.

79. It just takes time.

80. At least i know constance hasn't changed.

81. Oh!

82. Eric, constance is gonna be so different.

83. There's no more hierarchy, no more mean girls,

84. no one copying how the queen dresses.

85. It's gonna be a new era of sunlight and fairness.

86. Yeah, i don't think that's what Blair had in mind

87. when she picked you to be her successor. Too bad. Oh, hey, when does, uh, Jonathan get back

88. from his fencing camp in Torino? Not till next month.

89. (Girl) Jenny.

90. Oh, that's disturbing.

91. Uh... hi.

92. Who are you?

93. I'm Carmen. This is Celeste. That's Jane.

94. We're here to make sure you get exactly what you want this year.

95. You're gonna rule the school with an iron fist.

96. Okay, enough.

97. Uh... First, go wash your eyes,

98. and second, tell everyone i need to talk to them now.

99. Now. - (Scoffs)

100. So...

101. A new era of sunlight and fairness?

102. Shut up. - (Giggles)

103. That is absolutely unacceptable.

104. Okay. Uh, no, I'm sorry.

105. My mom would never hit the table like that.

106. She—she would put her fingers to her forehead and do that,

107. like, "why are you doing this to me?" Thing.

108. Oh, right. I know it. This...

109. Yeah, perfect. - So again.

110. Okay, um... (Clears throat)

111. Mom, i have decided not to go to brown.

112. (Sighs) Oh, Serena.

113. I...

114. Please know that I've put a lot of thought into this.

115. What is it? I'm sorry. She—she would just only do—do the forehead thing

116. for a second, then she would look to the side

117. and do these little head shakes, you know? Uh, Serena, i appreciate your pointers,

118. but the purpose of this role-playing is to get you ready

119. to tell your mom about brown.

120. No, i know. I know. I-I'm just—

121. I'm really nervous about her coming back tomorrow,

122. and—and when are you gonna tell her about the whole Scott drama?

123. Uh, a-after she digests the fact

124. that her daughter's not going to college.

125. That's a lot to hit her with right away. - (Sighs)

126. Now one more time. - Mom.

127. Yes, dear.

128. You're here.

129. (Gasps) Serena.

130. Lily. - (Laughs)

131. Ohh. - Oh, Rufus!

132. Oh, my gosh. Mmm.

133. It is so good to see you both.

134. You didn't tell us you were coming.

135. (Laughs) Well, Cece's feeling so much better,

136. so i thought i would surprise you. (Laughs)

137. Serena, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at brown?

138. So I've been reading the course catalog,

139. and everything just sounds so interesting,

140. like cold war philosophy and the Bible as literature,

141. the post-impressionist movement.

142. I want to take everything.

143. And you say you're from Jersey? (Laughs) Seriously, i had to convince a lot of people

144. to let me come here.

145. I'm determined to take advantage of it. (Cell phone alert dings)

146. Well, you know what? On behalf of everyone at N.Y.U.,

147. all of 'em—welcome. My stuff just got here. I gotta go move in.

148. Okay, well, how am i gonna pay you back for this?

149. Call it my treat. It was really nice to meet you, Dan.

150. It was nice meeting you, Kate.

151. I know how much you want me to go,

152. but this is the right thing.

153. I was against it at first, but i think there are benefits

154. to Serena deferring a year. And I'm gonna do something productive while I'm here—

155. get a job or—or an internship.

156. Mom, say something.

157. Well, Serena, if this is just a case of cold feet, fine.

158. I mean, classes have barely begun.

159. It's not about cold feet.

160. I'm just not ready. I don't know who i am.

161. But that's why people go to college—to figure it out.

162. Wasn't that the point of this Summer?

163. You were going to Europe to find yourself?

164. Well, i didn't find...

165. What i was looking for.

166. Well, unless your real self is waiting for you at antik,

167. i don't see the point in another year of gallivanting

168. around New York. I told you, I'm going to work.

169. (Sighs) I love you, Serena,

170. but you have never worked a day in your life.

171. Look, why don't you give college a try?

172. If it takes me getting a job

173. for you to believe that I'm serious, then I'll do it.

174. But for now, i am not going to college.

175. (Sighs) I'm sorry, lil. I debated calling you.

176. Oh.

177. It's okay, honey. I understand.

178. You knew i was with my mother,

179. and you didn't want to burden me.

180. But make no mistake. I am back, and she is going to brown.

181. All right, I'm gonna unpack.

182. There is no more hierarchy.

183. The steps of the met will no longer be restricted

184. to a certain crowd.

185. No more nair-tinis. No more headbands.

186. This is a new era.

187. Let freedom reign.

188. Well, well. Word is that change is in the air... (Beeping)

189. At constance billard.

190. the madness and genius of skeletor.

191. That is correct. I said "genius."

192. I have to wonder... (Beep)

193. When queen b. Finds out

194. how little j. Is treating her legacy...

195. Will she let it slide?

196. Oh, thank god.

197. By the way, sandals are not shoes.

198. Uh, no, she's not here yet, but the room looks great.

199. She should be here any second.

200. Um, hello? Excuse me?

201. Oh, i gotta go. I will call you back. Bye.

202. You must be Vanessa Abrams.

203. Yeah. Um, i got a message from the housing office today

204. saying that my new roommate was coming in.

205. Are you— - no, i just work for her.

206. I hope you don't mind. We gave the room a little lift. I see that you took down my godard poster.

207. This is for you. I've given one to all the girls in the hall.

208. Hold on. What is all this stuff,

209. and—and who is my roommate?

210. (Knock on door) And still no word from our reclusive starlet,

211. but i have a feeling...

212. Uh, that'd be me.

213. Oh, my god.

214. We're in for a blockbuster.

215. I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my publicist

216. was doing all this stuff.

217. And for the record, i love godard. - I'm just trying to wrap my head

218. around the fact that my roommate is...

219. (Laughs) Olivia Burke.

220. And mine's...

221. Vanessa Abrams.

222. Just two girls going to N.Y.U.

223. It's crazy, right?

224. Yeah.

225. Is that a confidentiality waiver?

226. K.C. Gave this to you?

227. Yeah, and the rest of the hall.

228. I cannot believe her.

229. Excuse me.

230. Thank you so much for seeing me on short notice.

231. You came highly recommended by Anna wintour.

232. I was happy to make the time. Tell me about yourself.

233. Um, i-i grew up on the Upper East Side.

234. I, um, I've always been interested in fashion and art.

235. I graduated from constance billard

236. this past June.

237. I was supposed to start brown a few weeks ago,

238. but then i realized i wasn't ready.

239. So you come here?

240. Fashion isn't fallback college, you know.

241. No, i know. Yeah, i-i understand that.

242. We're thrilled you're serious about this.

243. Yeah, you know, i want more life experience,

244. and with the work you're doing with a.P.F...

245. i find so interesting.

246. I will work for nothing. It can be like an internship.

247. So do you think that you have anything?

248. No, nothing. They all want me to come to their parties,

249. but none of them want me to actually work for them.

250. No, I'm taking myself to lunch at hundred acres.

251. Why do you sound so happy?

252. What do you mean, you had to quell a revolution?

253. Blair, i gotta go. I'll call you later.

254. Why are you not listening to me?

255. I am not asking the girls in my hall

256. to sign confidentiality waivers.

257. They already hate me enough. They don't hate you, at least not after i sent them all

258. invites to your premiere tomorrow.

259. You really don't get it.

260. I told you that i wanted to have a normal college experience.

261. But, honey, this is your moment, okay?

262. I mean, this movie is—is good-bye teenage vampires

263. and hello, Oscar. - (Sighs)

264. All right, I'm backing off.

265. You know, you have "Larry king" tonight.

266. Oh, great. Did you call them?

267. Olivia, calm down.

268. Don't tell me to calm down.

269. Why do you always do this? Ex-excuse me?

270. What?

271. I'm sorry. That was really rude.

272. Uh, yes, hi.

273. Don't worry about it. Um, just go through the kitchen,

274. make a left at the freezer and then a right.

275. It'll put you out on Sullivan.

276. They were following me around for a while,

277. so i learned the back exits everywhere.

278. Wow. Thanks. You're Serena, right?

279. Um, i loved your dress at the met ball.

280. Oh. Thank you.

281. Don't forget—"Larry king."

282. That was amazing.

283. You're like the diva whisperer.

284. I'm Kenny Cunningham, k.C. I'm Olivia's publicist.

285. Serena Van Der Woodsen.

286. I know. So, um, are you going to college in the city?

287. Uh, no, i-i deferred for a year.

288. I'm actually looking for a job.

289. Really?

290. Have you ever thought about publicity?

291. This is not a democracy, ladies.

292. Everyone does not get a voice, and that's okay.

293. What is this? Did you not hear me this morning?

294. Oh, you mean your cute little attempt at perestroika? We're going back to the old way—

295. queens, hierarchy and no Brooklyn wannabes.

296. Sorry, little j.

297. Who told you to call me that?

298. Okay, unless I'm blind,

299. their headbands were monogrammed with "b.W."

300. What a surprise.

301. I can't believe you didn't get that girl's number.

302. How long is Bree in Texas? 'Cause, uh, maybe she should

303. help you out with your English paper. Oh, I'm sorry. You just expect more game

304. from the guy who dated Serena Van Der Woodsen.

305. Hey. There—there she is.

306. What? That's—that's—that's Kate,

307. the girl we've been talking about. She's right there.

308. (Lowered voice) That girl?

309. Yeah. - Dude, that...

310. Is a sign that you should go ask her out.

311. (Sighs) Okay.

312. All right.

313. You know what? I will.

314. (Dan) Hey, Kate.

315. Uh, k—

316. Kate?

317. Hey. (Chuckles) Sorry.

318. I, uh, i said your name twice. Um, it's Dan.

319. Sorry. Uh, i have a lot on my mind.

320. Right. Right. How's your first day going?

321. It's been a harder adjustment than i expected.

322. For this morning, so, um,

323. i thought maybe we could grab some pizza sometime

324. or—or, you know, like, tomorrow or...

325. What about right now?

326. Right—right now?

327. I mean, yeah, sure. Right now is perfect. Right now is great.

328. In fact, i, uh, i know a place around the corner. Okay. (Chuckles)

329. Oh, my god.

330. Unbelievable.

331. We have a movie premiere tomorrow.

332. I'm gonna ask you to work with Olivia's costar.

333. Your background experience with the press—

334. i think you are just what she needs. I appreciate your confidence.

335. Thank me later.

336. (Woman) You are clueless! This is too blue!

337. This is too pink! This is too red!

338. K.C., this is the most important night of my life,

339. and you have me surrounded by amateurs?

340. And color-blind amateurs with hidden agendas?

341. You know that nobody supports me.

342. (Whispers) Everybody wants to see me fail.

343. Ursula, i want you to meet Serena Van Der Woodsen.

344. Poor s. No one told her this was going to be a horror movie.

345. You must have thought i was crazy.

346. No, i didn't think you were crazy. - Oh, please.

347. You know you were like, "let me get this crazy lady to a party."

348. (Laughs) And thank god you did, because I've been cooped up here

349. all day long. Okay, maybe a little crazy.

350. Okay, Serena, I'm sorry that i had you stay here

351. and sleep on this couch. It's just—the stress of this movie

352. is making me feel like I'm losing my mind. Well, it sounds fantastic. And i never knew Josephine Baker

353. was a part of the French resistance.

354. (Whispers) It's an amazing part.

355. (Normal voice) Okay, there's this one scene

356. where we're trapped by the Nazis,

357. and i have to distract them while the others escape.

358. And i think...

359. It's probably the best work I've ever done.

360. Chuck, what are you doing here?

361. I would ask you the same question.

362. I stopped by your dorm last night. No one was home.

363. Oh, i didn't tell you?

364. I've been tutoring a few girls from constance.

365. We went late. - Well, i found this—

366. an invitation to a movie premiere.

367. It appears your entire hall is attending,

368. and since my evening is free...

369. You thought you'd help me curry favor

370. with my outer-borough hall mates. Sweet.

371. But unfortunately, I've already scheduled

372. an all-night cram session with my tutees, so...

373. Miss Blair? You want me set beds before manicurists arrive or—

374. thank you, Dorota. That will be all.

375. You're sure you said "cram session"

376. and not the annual Waldorf sleepover?

377. Fine.

378. I'm hosting the sleepover.

379. But Jenny Humphrey is destroying everything i worked for,

380. and those girls deserve to learn the meaning of aristocracy.

381. We both know it's not about that.

382. I have no idea what you're talking about.

383. Now i have work to do, but feel free to attend the movie alone.

384. I have Dr. hannum. He's English lit.

385. He studied with faulkner.

386. This is so nice of you, to help me.

387. Sharing wisdom is what college is all about, right? - Right.

388. That, and, uh, and finding the cheapest Lebanese food.

389. Which, um, i-i-i thought I'd show you tonight, if...

390. Y-you know—you know what? I'm sorry.

391. That's—that's two nights in a row.

392. It's a huge dating taboo.

393. No. No, it's that i have to work.

394. I was supposed to last night, and i blew it off, so...

395. Dan, i like you.

396. But i think my life is more complicated than you know.

397. Try me. I think i can handle it.

398. Look, i-i-i really like you, too.

399. You're funny and smart,

400. and... you know what?

401. I'm just gonna throw it out there—you're beautiful.

402. I mean, an alarming number of people

403. actually stop on the street just to stare at you.

404. And on top of that, you're refreshingly normal.

405. (Chuckles) What do you mean by "refreshingly normal"?

406. Um, well, the last girl i dated,

407. her—her life was never really out of the spotlight,

408. so it made things kind of hard.

409. I gotta go.

410. So can i— can i call you tomorrow?

411. Or...

412. Dan, I'm not sure I'm the girl you're looking for,

413. even if part of me wishes i was.

414. I'm sorry. I don't understand.

415. You will. I'm sorry.

416. (Jenny) Congratulations.

417. Your girlfriend's installed a puppet regime.

418. Blair's gone colonel kurtz.

419. She needs to be brought back to reality.

420. Help me.

421. I'll help you take back the crown.

422. Why? They don't want my kind of leadership.

423. They want a tyrant who will police their behavior

424. and chart their movement on the social ladder.

425. Find someone else.

426. I need you. You're fooling yourself

427. if you don't think you were born to rule this school.

428. People change, Chuck.

429. Not you, not about this.

430. The Jenny Humphrey who used to sit in Brooklyn

431. and watch the lights across the water,

432. who went toe-to-toe with Blair Waldorf

433. and actually won her respect—

434. you can't tell me that girl isn't still in there.

435. Now that the dream is coming true,

436. you owe it to her to live it.

437. Blair doesn't want me to be queen.

438. Well, maybe we can make her reconsider.

439. (Door closes) (Ursula in distance) Where is it? You've lost it!

440. Hold on. Where have you been? I had to get my dress. What's going on?

441. I don't know. Get in there.

442. My mother's ring—i lost it.

443. I cannot go to the premiere without my mother's ring.

444. It's my good luck charm.

445. Ursula, you—you put it in your bag yesterday. Here.

446. Oh, thank you.

447. (Laughs) Of course.

448. Honey, time's a-wasting. You need to get ready.

449. (Whispers) I'm so nervous.

450. It's gonna be great.

451. Hey, is everything okay?

452. I just heard from the producers.

453. That scene Ursula's so proud of?

454. It got cut.

455. What?

456. We have to tell her.

457. Serena, no.

458. I know this is difficult,

459. but if we tell her, she'll ditch the premiere,

460. which will hurt her career enormously.

461. Trust me. No, this is for her own good.

462. Thanks. I gotta take this. (Ring)

463. (Ursula) Serena, can you help me?

464. Can you help me with my hair? (Cell phone alert chimes)

465. Serena?

466. Serena? I need help with my hair.

467. Hey.

468. (Sighs) So i think i just got dumped.

469. You maybe want to go see a movie or something like that?

470. Yeah. A movie sounds great.

471. But you're gonna have to wear a suit.

472. Blair, o.M.G.B.S.E.

473. Oh, my god. Best sleepover ever.

474. Yes, i suppose it is adequate.

475. Dorota, these Martinis taste like tap water.

476. Don't be a scrooge with the gin.

477. Miss Blair, this not right.

478. Mr. Chuck and i both of the opinion—

479. and who cares what you and Mr. Chuck think?

480. Szybko.

481. Now who wants to hear how i got the great Chuck bass...

482. (Singsongy) To tell me he loved me?

483. exquisite.

484. You exceed even my high expectations.

485. I'm only here for the good of the school, Chuck.

486. And I'm only here for Blair.

487. And now for one of the most time-honored traditions

488. of the sleepover— truth or dare.

489. Hey. I'm not talking to hear myself speak.

490. Sorry, Blair.

491. It's... just...

492. Gossip girl says Jenny Humphrey's

493. at the premiere of Olivia Burke's new movie... And she's with...

494. Who?

495. Spotted on the red carpet—

496. Jenny Humphrey on the arm of the red baron, Chuck bass.

497. Guess queen b. Isn't starring in this melodrama.

498. Oh, my god.

499. Rufus, why are you dragging me to this?

500. You really couldn't wait till it comes out in the theaters?

501. Are you kidding? Nazis and cabaret singers—

502. it's like "Casablanca" meets "showgirls."

503. This is my dream movie. How did you get tickets to the premiere?

504. I have a connection.

505. Mom. Rufus, thank you.

506. No problem. Um, this is some event.

507. What is going on? Did you two arrange this?

508. Hmm. I-I'm gonna go and, uh,

509. get another bag of popcorn, just in case.

510. So i got a job with a publicist,

511. and i thought if you saw me working,

512. you would feel better about brown.

513. Right. Yes.

514. Because, um, a year of parties and premieres is

515. a worthy alternative to an Ivy league education.

516. Mom...

517. Please don't make me regret inviting you here.

518. I've got a lot to worry about already.

519. Fine, fine, no brown talk.

520. Now tell me.

521. Well, um, I've become friends with Ursula nyquist,

522. and she's really counting on this movie

523. and her big scene, which has been cut.

524. K.C., my boss, doesn't want me to tell her.

525. Well, you have to,

526. i mean, if she really is a friend. Right?

527. But k.C. Believes that it's for her own good,

528. and—and k.C.'S my boss.

529. This woman saw an opportunity to exploit your celebrity

530. and your connections.

531. Why else would she hire an 18-year-old with no skills

532. and no college degree?

533. Maybe because she believes in me.

534. Serena, I've been looking all over for you.

535. Oh, Ursula, this is my mom Lily. Lily, this is Ursula.

536. Nice to meet you. - Hi. Nice to meet you, too.

537. Can i talk to your daughter for a second?

538. Is everything okay?

539. I feel like people are whispering.

540. No, every-everything's fine.

541. Look, w-we should get you inside.

542. Mom, i got work to do.

543. Oh, my god. Dan.

544. Hey.

545. What are you doing here? Me? I could ask you the same thing.

546. You're supposed to be working, right?

547. You're not serious. See, it's fine if you didn't want to go out with me.

548. It's really—really—i mean, you didn't have to lie about it.

549. No, i-i didn't. Uh, you know what? I gotta find Vanessa. I'm sorry.

550. Vanessa? W-wait. Like Vanessa Abrams?

551. Yeah. She's—she's my friend, how do you know her?

552. (Sighs) Dan, i-i have to tell you something.

553. O-Olivia. Olivia, hey, can we get... (Camera shutters snapping)

554. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that?

555. What's—what's going on right there? Why are they...

556. Y...

557. Oh, my—oh, my god. Are you—you're not...

558. Fleur.

559. You are. Yeah.

560. I'm sorry.

561. Hey. - Hey.

562. You met Olivia? Yeah. Yeah, apparently.

563. These are the plans from de gaulle.

564. I smuggled them in with my sheet music. - Oh.

565. (Man speaks indistinctly) Germans. They cannot be allowed to have these documents.

566. I'll distract them while you slip out the back. But how?

567. How else? I'll sing.

568. (Fleur) I never heard her song,

569. but i owe Josephine my life, as does France.

570. Next day, i was in London.

571. Hold on. Wait, wait. She's in the stall.

572. We'll give her another minute,

573. then we'll let her go in front of cameras. No, but i-i thought that was bad for her.

574. That's why we didn't tell her in the first place. Serena, an actress who finds out that her scene is cut

575. and skips the premiere is a lame story.

576. An actress who finds it out during the premiere,

577. then has a meltdown—now that is great public theater.

578. So you lied to me.

579. Only because you couldn't deal with the truth.

580. I needed Ursula to trust you, like i do now.

581. Ursula, honey, it's time to come out.

582. Serena's here.

583. Did you really think that your lame attempt... Blair. Blair, stop it.

584. To embarrass me would you get back queen? - Blair.

585. I will make your life a living hell. Blair, calm—

586. it wasn't her idea. - This was you?

587. Do you have any idea how much you humiliated me?

588. I think you accomplished that

589. with your little teenybopper sleepover.

590. Look, N.Y.U.'S hard,

591. but Blair Waldorf does not give up.

592. I'm not giving up. I've made a strategic retreat.

593. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

594. You don't understand.

595. I do understand. Let me help.

596. No, Chuck. N.Y.U. Is not the Upper East Side.

597. They don't care about constance or the social hierarchy.

598. They don't care that I'm Blair Waldorf.

599. It's over.

600. And you'd do this to me?

601. What are you talking about?

602. I'm Chuck bass,

603. and i told you i love you.

604. You're saying I'm easier to win over

605. than a bunch

606. of pseudo-intellectual, homesick malcontents?

607. You'd really insult me like this?

608. That's not how it is.

609. It's exactly how it is.

610. So the next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf,

611. remember, I'm Chuck bass,

612. and i love you.

613. Hey.

614. Great movie.

615. You were, uh, you were amazing. And I'm an idiot.

616. No, i sh—

617. i should have told you who i was.

618. Why didn't you?

619. I have been dreaming of coming to N.Y.U.

620. And just being a normal student.

621. And my very first day,

622. this cute guy doesn't recognize me.

623. I couldn't help myself.

624. And my middle name's Kate.

625. You said it yourself,

626. that i was refreshingly normal.

627. I did, yeah, I...

628. You have to understand, though,

629. that my last couple of relationships

630. have been just—

631. they—they've been full of drama.

632. All right, Dan, i get it.

633. I do.

634. And as much as i want to be Kate,

635. I'm also Olivia,

636. and you don't want that.

637. I'm sorry.

638. I'll see you around.

639. Um, excuse me?

640. Uh, can i take you picture?

641. What? Why?

642. Aren't you Blair Waldorf?

643. Yes.

644. Yes, i guess i am.

645. (Crying) I can't believe they cut my scene.

646. So go out there and—and throw the biggest fit of your life.

647. I mean, those producers screwed you.

648. Go steal their show.

649. Serena, is that what you think i should do?

650. I-i think...

651. If you want people to see you as—as a real actress,

652. you should be gracious and...

653. And that the movie's more important than your scene.

654. Ursula, she's a teenager. She knows nothing.

655. Kenny, shut up.

656. (Whispers) Thank you.

657. I'm sorry. I-i couldn't do it to her.

658. I understand...

659. Like I'm sure you understand that you're fired.

660. I got fired.

661. K.C. Wanted Ursula

662. to have a meltdown in front of the press,

663. and i told her not to, so k.C. Fired me.

664. I guess you were right. Well, it's for the best. You'll love brown.

665. Mom, I'm not going to brown. Maybe next year, but not now.

666. What are you talking about? You're all packed.

667. If this year is about finding out who i am,

668. then i can't do that and live here.

669. Serena, enough is enough.

670. This need to find out who you are—

671. do you think anyone really knows who they are?

672. We don't. We just live. So that's it? That's your advice—to give up?

673. I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna do this your way.

674. (Sighs) - Lil, she's gonna be okay.

675. This is your fault.

676. That's not fair. Not fair? I go away to take care of my mother,

677. and i come back and my daughter is not going to college.

678. I trusted you. - Then trust me now. Don't force her.

679. Ugh.

680. I think i just need to be alone.

681. Hey. - (Door closes)

682. I loved the movie last night,

683. though it was no "endless knights."

684. Don't say anything. I'm a closet fan. (Laughs)

685. So I'm gonna pretend that you're not a movie star,

686. and we're just two roommates.

687. Coming here, i just—

688. i wanted to be normal, everyday me.

689. And amazingly enough, i met someone who liked that person.

690. But i can't pretend that the other one doesn't exist.

691. I dated a guy who kept part of himself hidden.

692. He never gave anyone a chance to accept him.

693. And... in the end,

694. everyone lost.

695. Dan's...

696. A really special guy.

697. I'm gonna go.

698. We're like real roommates.

699. That's kind of totally awesome.

700. Of course, s.

701. Mi casa, su casa.

702. I sound chipper? Well, I'm on my way to a meeting.

703. Just a little club I'm starting. (Beep)

704. Oh, you all made it. Excellent.

705. Now here's the situation.

706. Each of us attended elite schools,

707. failed to go Ivy and now find ourselves wasting away

708. in a patchouli-scented purgatory.

709. Do we deserve it? No.

710. Do we need to put up with it?

711. Definitely not.

712. What do you suggest?

713. Candide said, "on do it cultiver son jardin."

714. Well, N.Y.U. Is my garden,

715. and i plan to rake and hoe and weed it

716. till it looks exactly the way i want.

717. But i can't do it alone. Now who's with me?

718. You can count on us.

719. If you ask me,

720. we go to the movies because we want to see fairy tales...

721. Oh, uh, by the way, that came for you.

722. A sleeping queen woken by her true love's kiss...

723. that concludes our business.

724. So, uh, why'd you want me to take that girl's picture?

725. Dumbo could always fly.

726. He just needed a magic feather.

727. A Princess who puts aside her jewels

728. to make her way in the world... Thank you so much for coming.

729. I wanted to see you before i went back to L.A. of course. Me, too.

730. And i wanted to tell you that i called k.C.,

731. and i told her that if you do not work for her firm,

732. I'm not a client.

733. (Laughs) Wow. That— that was so nice of you.

734. Please.

735. Serena, you helped me find myself.

736. And i hope you are just as lucky.

737. Okay?

738. Come here.

739. Lovers torn apart being brought back together...

740. (Ring) - Uh...

741. Vanessa, hey.

742. Hey. I was just thinking about you.

743. I thought I'd call and see how you were.

744. I'm good. How are you?

745. Good.

746. So, Scott, i... really was...

747. (Call waiting beeps) Hold on a second.

748. Uh, Vanessa, I'm so sorry. I gotta take this.

749. Uh, can i call you later?

750. Oh.

751. Yeah.

752. Sure. That—that's fine.

753. Georgina, hey. What's up?

754. No, I'll be there in a second.

755. I'm a block from the restaurant.

756. But life isn't a fairy tale...

757. and happy endings are few and far between...

758. hey, Jenny. Is there anything we can do for you?

759. In life, the young queen becomes a tyrant...

760. Actually, go make sure my spot's free at the met steps

761. and wait there with a yogurt for me.

762. and takes her subjects to war...

763. And if you do want to wear them, you just need to make sure...

764. So that's why we need movies... - Hi.

765. To remind us that despite it all, love can still spring

766. in the most unlikely of places...

767. I was just thinking, i didn't really give you

768. a chance to know both sides of me,

769. and i guess

770. I'm wondering if you still want to.

771. I don't even know why I'm pretending to think about it.

772. Yes. Yes, of course.

773. And that sometimes even fairy tales can come true.

774. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.