Gossip Girl 2x7

1. Gossip girl here, your one and only source

2. Every time mom brought home someone who said, "i love you,"

3. they would end up married. I'm not ashamed of who i am. I may have concealed things

4. in the past, but not anymore. The bad news is that your girlfriend Catherine is

5. a lying, manipulating whore who's sleeping with her stepson.

6. The good news is that i convinced them both

7. to leave town. What do you care about humdrum Humphrey anyway? He's nothing.

8. I actually think he's pretty cool. - The only person

9. with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey, and that's

10. because he's something you'll never be—a human being.

11. And who am i?

12. That's a secret I'll never tell.

13. You know you love me.

14. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

15. There's nothing quite like Autumn in New York,

16. but it's not only the leaves that change.

17. Something in the air brings out the true colors in everyone.

18. Why are you all so quiet?

19. Good morning.

20. Bart, you're back early. My last round of meetings

21. wrapped up sooner than expected. Rushing home to the family.

22. How long's this layover?

23. Didn't Lily tell you? I'm here for the long haul.

24. And just in time for our housewarming party

25. tomorrow night. Um, I've been meaning to ask you.

26. Uh, can we bring friends? Of course, dear.

27. Oh, um, did you get the little suit that i laid out for you,

28. Serena? - That was for me?

29. I thought the housekeepers got new uniforms.

30. Yeah, it's conservative, yes, but classic.

31. Bart brought it from Paris. It had its own seat on his plane.

32. Bart bought me a suit? New watch.

33. Cash—direct deposit into one of my offshore accounts.

34. Now that we are all here,

35. Lily and i have something we want to discuss.

36. As tomorrow's party marks our debut as a family,

37. we've been talking about what that actually means.

38. Less money for me when you die?

39. We were thinking more along the lines of some guidelines.

40. Guidelines? For what?

41. For life together. I mean, now that we're all here,

42. having some rules would be nice. Like what?

43. a weekend curfew of 1:00 A.M. is that eastern or pacific?

44. And no going out on school nights. What?

45. Are you serious? All right, all right.

46. We are in complete agreement on this matter. Yeah, I'm sure.

47. Medicine cabinet, bedside table, underwear drawer?

48. It's borderline solicitation, v., and—and, uh, creepy.

49. It wouldn't be creepy if you'd actually read the flyer. You're on a mission

50. to save Dutch Schultz's favorite speakeasy.

51. But what are you protesting? The—the owner died, didn't he?

52. He did, which is why the whole building's up for auction.

53. And if we don't stop the sale, it won't be long before

54. some evil developer turns it into a pain quotidien. Oh, i like le pain—

55. okay, we're doing a petition for landmark status... Uh, which you signed

56. and dad signed and mom signed...

57. And—and Eleanor Waldorf. How about i come to school with you

58. is looking for their next cause. - Hmm.

59. got mono from making out with Lauren goldenberg... Ew.

60. So i-i guess their only other option was to ask me to try out.

61. Wait. They asked you?

62. Yeah, well, Nate did. I'm now an alternate.

63. I'm also really, really late.

64. Uh, you with me?

65. Yeah.

66. Well, uh, good luck with the guiltless rich.

67. Who watches TV on a TV anymore anyway?

68. It's not about the rules, Eric. It's about mom.

69. When it's just the three of us, it's fine,

70. but anytime she gets a new guy, she stepfords out

71. Remember when we had to move to chamonix

72. because German Klaus wanted to ski all year round? That wasn't so bad.

73. But what about paolo—

74. the raw food diet? Family colonics?

75. Or sameer? I know i enjoyed our brief conversion to islam.

76. I see what you mean. Look, mom can't let these guys choose her life for her

77. because they shouldn't be able to choose ours.

78. It seems different this time.

79. She seems pretty serious

80. about making the whole family thing work with Bart.

81. We could at least try, right? Fine.

82. But the second he starts to call the shots,

83. these gloves come off and the nails come out.

84. I just mixed metaphors, didn't i? - Yeah, but it kind of worked.

85. And the coach is really impressed with your tryouts. Really?

86. Yeah. Thanks for subbing in. Well, save your thanks until after you see me play.

87. It's gonna be— Humphrey, never a pleasure.

88. What happens at Yale stays at Yale.

89. Hey, man. Let's go.

90. Poor Chuck. What is life without a friend to share it?

91. Oh, it looks like you just lost yours to Dan Humphrey.

92. Who cares? I'd rather talk about who you lost yours to anyway.

93. Unh-unh-unh.

94. Been there, done that, been decontaminated.

95. We both know you'll do it again. It's just a question of when.

96. The answer is never.

97. We're inevitable, Waldorf.

98. Despite whatever vestigial attraction

99. my body may feel for you, my brain knows better.

100. And yours should, too. I gotta go.

101. Impressive.

102. Oh, it's not for me.

103. Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey, how many times must we tell you?

104. As one of the girls of the steps,

105. that many girls before you have gotten the ax

106. when their choices reflected poorly on us.

107. I didn't realize— that tights are not pants?

108. Honestly. - Blair, you got a minute?

109. 60 seconds. Clock it.

110. What are you doing here with those?

111. Shouldn't you be at whole foods?

112. As much as i hate these words coming out of my mouth,

113. i could really use your help with this. Oh, saving a teardown.

114. Charity is for diseases and endangered species.

115. Real estate is not on the list, at least not in New York.

116. I can make you help me, you know?

117. Oh, it makes jokes, too.

118. Everyone knows that you and Marcus broke up,

119. but no one knows why.

120. Even you wouldn't stoop that low.

121. Blackmail seems to work so well for you,

122. so maybe I'm missing out.

123. Now that we've established that i own you,

124. you have six hours to get a thousand signatures

125. and make sure they're legible. Have fun.

126. Well, well. Look who's playing by the rules,

127. I'm on my way out to a house call.

128. Ugh. Gross.

129. Well, as long as you're home by 1:00.

130. Naive Serena.

131. Don't you know

132. Bart and lil's list of rules doesn't apply to me?

133. What are you talking about? According to my sources,

134. the real reason my father flew back early

135. is to court some executives in town from the midwest.

136. The only problem is, they won't do business

137. with anyone who doesn't share their family values,

138. so Bart is making sure we do...

139. Or appear to.

140. Wait. All this just so he can close a deal?

141. I do my best work off the radar,

142. but while you're on "page six"

143. with the poppy liftons of the world,

144. you're the bigger threat to Bart's business.

145. Night, sis.

146. I hope your book is captivating.

147. Hi, Bart.

148. We missed you at family dinner. Maybe next time.

149. Where do you think you're going, and in that dress?

150. Oh, the girls and i thought we'd hit up 1oak, then maybe bijoux,

151. and i don't know—anywhere we can find some paparazzi.

152. I'm in the mood for a little show tonight.

153. Oh, i forgot to put on underwear.

154. Waving a white flag, are we?

155. Not exactly.

156. I have a proposition for you.

157. I'll say yes. That little troll Vanessa is working my last nerve.

158. Not what i expected. And then i realized this could benefit both of us.

159. You had me until "troll."

160. Dan stole your best friend. Now you can steal his.

161. Seduce and destroy.

162. What's in it for me? The thrill of the impossible.

163. The only person Vanessa loathes more than me is you.

164. It would be one for the ages.

165. Maybe you're not up for it.

166. If memory serves, you've had some mechanical problems.

167. I'll just imagine she's you.

168. This just in...

169. Blair Waldorf and Chuck bass

170. placing a wager on the takedown of lonely boy's b.F.F.

171. We think we've heard this story before,

172. and we're pretty sure it ended up with everyone dead.

173. So what did Lily have to say

174. Let them discipline the sibling that actually deserves it. You mean Chuck?

175. What? - You smiled.

176. No, i didn't. I hate Chuck. Don't make me lose my appetite.

177. Oh, hey. Is that Eric?

178. Hey, uh, Larissa said you'd be here.

179. Hey. And we are? Who is this?

180. Jonathan, this is my sister, Serena,

181. and her friend, Blair Waldorf.

182. This is Jonathan, my boyfriend.

183. It's nice to meet you both. Nice work, e.

184. Oh, my gosh. Hi. So nice to meet you.

185. Sit down, both of you.

186. I invited him to the party tonight,

187. Chuck. Wow. Hear that, Blair?

188. Chuck.

189. Ignore her. She's dehydrated.

190. Did i miss something? No, but we did—

191. the story of how you two met. We want to know everything. So then the ball came to me,

192. and so i kicked it to this guy, and then—and then, you know,

193. he kicked it to another guy, an he kicked it to another guy

194. and then that guy scored,

195. so, you know, it was basically an assist. - Wow.

196. I mean, pretty soon you're gonna have actual guy friends. What are you talking about?

197. I have plenty of guy friends. Dan, i know that you're Mr. soccer now,

198. but you and i both know you prefer to hang out with girls.

199. Vanessa, Serena, once upon a time.

200. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Except that it's completely untrue.

201. Okay. Dad, will you please tell Jenny that—that i have guy friends?

202. Of course he does. I'm his— no, not including you.

203. Or Cedric? Not including dolls.

204. Okay, watch and learn.

205. Nate. Hey, man. Hey, it's Humphrey. Dan.

206. Yeah, good. Good. Hey, listen.

207. Uh, you want to hook up for some soccer later?

208. You're—you're— you're by the park, right?

209. Noon, yeah. Sweet, bro. All right. I love it. Bye.

210. Apparently, uh, we're gonna play soccer later.

211. Uh-huh. - No big.

212. Is Cedric invited? - Jenny.

213. Hmm. - Come on.

214. Thank you, dad. - You know, Cedric would get dirty.

215. And then Dan would have to bathe him.

216. All right, I'll see you two later.

217. I got my boy waiting for me.

218. Great turnout, v. I got a good feeling.

219. Let's hope so, Horace.

220. Here come the sharks.

221. What the hell are you doing? You mean you have to ask?

222. I'm here because of you. Thank you for introducing me

223. to turn it into another yuppie fusion bar.

224. For your information, since i bought victrola,

225. bass industries has expanded into vintage entertainment.

226. Why don't you have a bake sale while you're at it?

227. In the real world, we are your only hope.

228. Endorse our bid, and we promise to return this place

229. to all its sweet sordidness.

230. It sounds perfect. Just one problem—i know you.

231. Or do you only think you do? (Man) Hey, get outta here, rich boy!

232. (Man) Ooh! Wow. I didn't think that suit could get any worse.

233. I was wrong.

234. I think that's— oh, Serena, wait a minute.

235. Would you excuse us, please? Thank you. - So what's my punishment?

236. Don't be childish. Why not? You're treating me like one.

237. According to Bart,

238. you went out looking like a stripper last night.

239. If you have a problem with our rules, then just say so,

240. but to simply defy us... Not you, him.

241. Bart and i are husband and wife. But he's not our father.

242. Come on, mom.

243. Things were so good last year.

244. We were almost like a real family.

245. Why change that?

246. Serena, you're making this

247. much more complicated than it really is,

248. and going by your actions last night,

249. i clearly think that you could benefit from a little structure.

250. If i thought this was actually you talking, i might listen.

251. If this is how you're acting now,

252. i should have insisted on more structure years ago.

253. You mean, like, three husbands ago?

254. That was unkind.

255. I'm not really in a family mood.

256. I think I'm gonna pass on tonight's little soiree.

257. Nate?

258. Hey, man.

259. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, we're meeting in the park.

260. Yeah.

261. No, no, no. I just— i got—i got tied up.

262. Yeah, I'll see you in ten.

263. Okay.

264. Whoever said, "you can't have it all,"

265. must have known the archibalds.

266. Looks like poor little Nate is...

267. Yuck. Poor.

268. A Mr. Chuck to see you, miss Blair.

269. Dorota, who?

270. Excuse me. Don't you—

271. deal's off. - What? What are you talking about?

272. I'm out. I don't know what i was thinking about,

273. She needs to be destroyed.

274. She's your problem. Humphrey doesn't warrant this.

275. The great Chuck bass is just gonna give up?

276. No, no, no. There's no shame if the prize isn't worth it.

277. You can do your own dirty work.

278. There's not enough in it for me.

279. But what if i made it worth it?

280. What are you talking about? I think you know.

281. You're not serious.

282. My, my.

283. That girl has gotten under your skin.

284. The question is, bass, will you?

285. Aren't you the least bit worried I'll succeed?

286. Do we have an agreement?

287. Careful, b.

288. One thing about making a deal with the devil...

289. Oh, we have a deal.

290. He always comes to collect.

291. After you left,

292. your lawyer came back and showed us your proposal,

293. which did indeed include keeping everything as is

294. and lobbying for landmark status. So i was telling the truth.

295. I'm sure you've done something in your lifetime

296. to deserve getting beaned by an iced beverage.

297. Isn't it possible there are parts of me you don't know?

298. Possible, just extremely unlikely.

299. You have a reason for coming here?

300. If it was to insult me,

301. If he signs off, you have our support.

302. But it still doesn't mean i trust you.

303. Of course not... now.

304. I best go put on something special.

305. I don't know how she expects me to take this family seriously

306. when her record stands at 16 months. Which husband was that?

307. Klaus.

308. Is that the one who wore the wooden shoes? Zip.

309. No, that was Danish claus, with a "c."

310. This is German Klaus, with a "k."

311. Wait, i forget. Did she marry both? No, just German Klaus,

312. but she did date Danish claus longer. Oh, your mother.

313. Remember how she always used to just jet off

314. to mustique or Ibiza without warning

315. while you and Eric were still in school? Eleanor always knew

316. when we showed up with our overnight bags. Lily had a new boyfriend.

317. We tried alternating between you and the archibalds

318. so you guys never knew how bad it really was. - We knew.

319. But Bart is the worst. He's controlling and a hypocrite.

320. He acts like he's family friendly

321. when he's dated half the models in Manhattan.

322. B., you look gorgeous. Where did you get that dress?

323. Oh, this?

324. Just... Chuck.

325. When did Chuck give you a dress? When we were going to Europe.

326. And you're wearing it tonight?

327. It's just that it would be a shame to waste it. That's all. Uh-huh.

328. You know, you gotta teach me that—that, uh,

329. that bouncing-off-the-knees thing,

330. 'cause i tried it once, but i broke my dad's Gibson.

331. My father—not too big on showing emotion. - Mm.

332. Hey, so I'm guessing you're not going

333. to the bass/van der Woodsen housewarming party,

334. are you, tonight? - No, no.

335. Um, well, especially since this is the first I'm hearing of it.

336. would be an understatement. You going?

337. Uh, nah. I think I'm just gonna stay at home,

338. chill out, watch a movie, you know? Yeah, that sounds good.

339. Well, I'd actually invite you over,

340. but the house is, like, a total mess. - Oh, yeah. No.

341. You know, i-i-i don't know... All that stuff with your dad... Yeah. No, it's, uh...

342. My mom's staying out in the Hamptons... - Okay.

343. So i told her i was staying at Chuck's just so she doesn't

344. worry about stuff, you know?

345. I'm gonna get a drink, actually. You want something?

346. Yeah. Sure. Thanks. Cool.

347. What is it?

348. Nothing. I like it.

349. This our guy?

350. Horace Rogers, meet Chuck bass. Pleasure.

351. Man, come here.

352. Look at that outfit.

353. Didn't know it could be worse than the one this morning.

354. Kidding.

355. I know savile row when i see it. Joe Kennedy taught me.

356. You knew Joe Kennedy? Used to come here all the time.

357. Had a girl up the street.

358. I was 9 years old, selling papers out front.

359. Rumor has it

360. he kept this place in booze during prohibition.

361. So you like old Joe?

362. Rumrunner, womanizer, millionaire.

363. He was my kind of guy.

364. They all used to come here back in the day—

365. gangsters, fighters, musicians.

366. Dangerous folks, no doubt.

367. But they had style.

368. Something tells me you'd fit right in.

369. That's possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

370. well, are you sure he's living there?

371. Uh, squatting, i think, would be the correct term.

372. There's just, like,

373. a sleeping bag and a bunch of Brooks brothers shirts.

374. Why isn't he staying with Chuck? Well, obviously, Dan, he's embarrassed.

375. Okay, look, invite him over for dinner tonight.

376. Dad's making chili. And then once he's here,

377. we can convince him to stay. Okay. Uh, don't—don't mention anything to dad, though,

378. 'cause he'll probably, like, handcuff him to the couch

379. or say something stupid. I'll see ya.

380. That was, uh, that was Jenny. - Oh.

381. And it turns out my dad's making his once-a-year chili,

382. and attendance is mandatory for me and whoever I'm with.

383. I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry. But this year, that's you.

384. Wow. Well, i guess i don't have a choice then, do i?

385. You don't.

386. Uh, scattegories will be involved. - Scattegories?

387. Be prepared. - It's been a while.

388. Hey, Jonathan. You visiting Eric? Uh, he's not here.

389. I was just dropping off some books. Have fun tonight. Uh, you're not coming?

390. No. Eric talked to your stepfather,

391. and apparently it's family only.

392. Wait, Bart said that? It's no big deal. I'll see you later.

393. Well, you won Horace over.

394. He trusts me.

395. You're really serious, aren't you?

396. You're gonna save this place.

397. Yeah. I guess i am.

398. I knew it'd take a miracle,

399. but i never thought it would be Chuck bass.

400. I was wrong about you,

401. and I'm sorry.

402. Thanks. Means a lot.

403. Vanessa, there's something...

404. At the conclusion of a deal,

405. i like to celebrate.

406. My parents are having a housewarming tonight.

407. I'd like you to come. - Yeah, okay.

408. Good. I'll send the car at 8:00.

409. Richard Phillips, this is

410. Ariel foxman and honor Brodie from "in style."

411. Everything here that you see is thanks to them.

412. Except for this gorgeous painting,

413. which Richard did.

414. um, would you just excuse us for one second?

415. I'll take care of it, Lily. Excuse me.

416. Serena?

417. the suit looks lovely on you.

418. And I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to join us.

419. We are allowed to bring friends, right? - Sure.

420. Bart, just curious.

421. Does mom know you told Eric he couldn't bring his boyfriend?

422. I told Eric no such thing.

423. We discussed it. The decision was his.

424. Really? The 15 year old and the billionaire?

425. Sounds like a discussion between equals.

426. Serena, i hope that over time

427. you'll see that i want what's best for this family.

428. In the meantime, i suggest you talk with your brother.

429. Good evening, Chuck.

430. Blair.

431. Do i get a progress report?

432. Does Vanessa still think

433. you're buying that beer hall of hers?

434. I am buying it. It's a good investment.

435. You're kidding.

436. fine. But you're still gonna crush her, right?

437. We made a deal, remember?

438. Yes. Excuse me.

439. some housewarming.

440. Good thing i didn't bring a casserole.

441. Can i get you a drink? Chuck.

442. I'd like to speak with you now.

443. I'll be back in a moment.

444. so, Jenny, i still can't believe

445. you dropped out of constance to become a designer.

446. Um, it's incredible how supportive my dad's been.

447. By "incredible," she means "difficult to believe." What about you, Nate?

448. How's everything at home? I know it's been a tough year. Yeah, it has,

449. Uh, you know, I've seen Nate do that knee bounce thing

450. with the soccer ball, and it's—it's amazing.

451. Well, my mom's actually out at our Hamptons house,

452. but i still have school, so i gotta—i gotta stick around.

453. You staying by yourself? Isn't that kind of lonely?

454. Well, yeah, but, i mean... I grew up there.

455. You know, it's where all the memories are.

456. I love what it does with the doors.

457. Did you really think i wasn't gonna find out

458. my company was buying a bar in Brooklyn? It wasn't a secret.

459. I just wanted to make sure i had everything in place.

460. Did you read the proposal? Why would i do that?

461. Because... the tax break will be huge.

462. Saving a landmark buys us amazing p.R.,

463. engenders goodwill in the community,

464. paving the way for future investment.

465. Plus, it's a great place.

466. Look, father, let me take you there and show you around.

467. I'll make you a believer, i promise. - What i believe

468. is that you've betrayed my trust and wasted my time.

469. This is a good move for bass industries.

470. I stand behind it. Really? Chuck bass stands behind it. What's that worth?

471. I gave people my word. They're counting on me.

472. Well, luckily, letting people down is your forte.

473. Oh, man.

474. This has been great. But, look, i should go.

475. Look, i, uh, I'm tired, so... What about scattegories?

476. Oh, i can't believe i just used scattegories as an enticement.

477. Well, next time.

478. W—uh, i mean, it's late.

479. You sure you just don't wanna crash on the couch? Nah. No, it's cool.

480. Look, uh, Nate, I...

481. I, uh, i-i know about how you're living... at home.

482. Excuse me. What? - It was a mistake.

483. I just thought we were supposed to meet at your place today.

484. But i saw the notice. Wait, so you—so you broke into my home?

485. Well, no. I mean, there w—

486. there wasn't really much to break into.

487. It's just, you know, j-Jenny and i wanted to help you. Jenny knows, too?

488. Oh, so suddenly I'm the Humphrey family's favorite charity, huh? No, no, it's not like that.

489. No, look, you tell your dad

490. i said thank you, and then i had to leave. - Nate—

491. Dan, we hang out at Yale, we played soccer once. So what?

492. Just stay out of it.

493. Hey.

494. I overheard the end of that conversation.

495. And I'm sorry.

496. I don't know your dad,

497. but from...

498. What i saw today, you deserve better.

499. you say that...

500. But you don't really know me.

501. My father, on the other hand, has a lifetime of experience.

502. The man makes some good points.

503. stay.

504. Please.

505. Bart told me i could bring Jonathan.

506. But he told me there would be press here,

507. I don't think so. I think he's trying to protect me.

508. Why—why are you so against him? - I don't know.

509. Excuse me. Serena, Eric, would you guys mind

510. if our reporter asked you a few questions?

511. Honestly? - Sure.

512. So your mom told me how close-knit your family is.

513. Is there a particular memory that stands out?

514. A birthday or Christmas? She said what?

515. Just that— um, excuse me. I just need to—to borrow Serena.

516. and I'll tell you all about the wonderful time

517. Or did you forget, the same way

518. you forget to say good-bye to me and Eric every time you left? Serena, don't do this.

519. If you have issues with Bart, fine, but don't sabotage this. What? I-I'm not doing anything.

520. I thought we were just sharing memories

521. of a—what a close family we are.

522. I remember this one time, um, when i was 11.

523. Eric and i wanted a white Christmas.

524. Luckily, mom's husband was a raging cokehead,

525. so he left blow everywhere. Oh, my god.

526. It wasn't everywhere—just on the smooth, shiny surfaces.

527. Was that, um, German Klaus with a "k,"

528. or was it Danish claus with a "c"?

529. I can't ever remember which ones she actually married

530. or which she just decided

531. were more important than her children.

532. You know what? I was—i was wrong.

533. It's not Bart at all. It's you.

534. Looks like the bass housewarming party

535. just got a little colder.

536. Serena's walk down memory Lane has her heading out the door.

537. bet's off.

538. But the game's not over.

539. I'm calling it on account of boredom.

540. You were right. Vanessa's not worth playing with.

541. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Why the sudden change of heart?

542. Like i said, the whole thing is dull.

543. Pursuing Vanessa is beneath us both.

544. You think I'm going in for the kill.

545. You're worried you're gonna

546. have to go through with what you promised.

547. I'm not worried... About... that.

548. Well, then what?

549. Then... nothing.

550. Just... forget it.

551. i can't believe Serena did that in front of everyone—

552. that reporter, all of these people.

553. Eric, my darling, you are always honest with me.

554. It isn't true, is it?

555. I know Serena's timing sucked,

556. but she did pretty much raise me all those years.

557. Oh... - You just weren't here, you know?

558. I wasn't that bad.

559. Our ringtone for you was "since u been gone."

560. - Vanya the doorman

561. used to sign our permission slips from school.

562. Well, there was a lot going on in my life.

563. And i did the best i could, just like I'm doing now.

564. Yeah, but now it's like

565. you want us to go from zero to Brady in 60 seconds.

566. We're not there yet.

567. Oh, i know, but i just thought if—

568. you don't become a family just by telling people you are.

569. You become a family because you want to be one.

570. I—mm. I think mine's carbonated.

571. Yours?

572. You're still upset.

573. Well, like i said, i tried to help him, and then he bailed.

574. So, you know, if he doesn't want my help,

575. then that's—that's fine.

576. And being a friend means giving someone something they need

577. even when they can't ask for it, which you did.

578. Right. I-i did that. So... It also means not giving up on them

579. when they say "no, thank you."

580. I didn't do that, and I'm not doing that.

581. He wants to be alone. It's his choice.

582. Good luck to him. Well, from what you told me, this thing is pretty intense.

583. I don't know if he has anyone else in his life

584. looking out for him right now.

585. You really wanna be his friend, you need to be that person

586. i know i left my bag with my coat.

587. Could you just check again? No need.

588. Don't tell me you took my purse by mistake.

589. Hardly.

590. But then it wasn't your bag i was after.

591. Don't you know

592. never to leave anything that valuable unattended?

593. Oh, and i took the Liberty of increasing your storage space. What did you do?

594. Marcus and Catherine are free

595. to live their sick little lives in peace, as am i.

596. Now that you have nothing on me, you're done here.

597. Except one more thing.

598. You may think you've discovered the hidden Chuck,

599. but you should know

600. he has no real feelings for you whatsoever.

601. It was all a little bet we made

602. to see just how gullible you could be.

603. I don't believe you.

604. It was simple, really.

605. Chuck wanted to get Dan, and i wanted to get you.

606. So are you telling me that Chuck had his dad's company

607. make an offer on the Brooklyn inn

608. in order to get back at Dan?

609. Isn't that a little convoluted, even for the two of you?

610. Real estate was just foreplay.

611. Seducing and humiliating you was the ultimate goal. Chuck didn't hit on me once.

612. Maybe what's really going on here is that you can't stand

613. that he might actually be a good person when he's not around you. I seriously doubt that.

614. What are you doing, Blair?

615. Tying up some loose ends,

616. telling Vanessa that she doesn't mean anything to you.

617. We were just playing chess,

618. and she was another piece that you needed to knock over

619. on your way to take the queen. Do you disagree?

620. Guess i-i should've known.

621. good boy. - What the hell was the point of that?

622. Well, you may not have seduced her,

623. but she seems pretty humiliated to me. What are you saying?

624. I'm saying...

625. I lost, you won.

626. I'll be waiting in my room in one hour.

627. Come claim your prize.

628. Poor Chuck bass.

629. You made your bet. Now you have to lie in it.

630. Dan, is that you?

631. Are you talkin' to me? You're the only person here.

632. Right, but that's, uh, never stopped you before.

633. I deserve that.

634. I haven't started yet.

635. Fine. Sit, pile it on. My night couldn't get any worse.

636. Coming to rub my nose in it? Falling for your line of bull...

637. Talk to Vanessa already?

638. Look, i know you have no reason to trust me.

639. And you ain't gonna be able to give me one, either,

640. so you might as well go. Look, i don't care what you think about me.

641. But I'm not giving up. I'm gonna save this place.

642. Try saving yourself first, kid.

643. I like to think i know people, but i was wrong about you.

644. so what are you doing at Nate's anyway?

645. Well, uh, Nate and i are friends.

646. At least, i hope we are. What about you?

647. I just had to get out of my house, talk to someone.

648. Blair was busy. Chuck is... Chuck.

649. The only person i really wanted to talk to,

650. i can't anymore.

651. So i came here.

652. Pretend I'm Nate.

653. What? - Pretend I'm—

654. well, look, he pretended to be me, so it's only fair.

655. Really?

656. Well, um...

657. My mom hosted this big party.

658. It as supposed to be about our new family.

659. But it turns out, of course, it was for publicity.

660. So i-i blew up at her in front of everyone.

661. And this whole time,

662. i was thinking that Bart was the problem,

663. but i-i realized it's all her.

664. You ever think that your mom acts like she's perfect

665. because she's...

666. She's... too ashamed to acknowledge

667. how far from it she's really been?

668. I thought you were pretending to be Nate.

669. Kidding.

670. I'm sorry.

671. You—do you not think I'm right?

672. No, I'm—i mean, I'm sorry about everything.

673. I am, too.

674. Ugh.

675. They must have had me chipped while i was sleeping.

676. Hi, Mr. bass.

677. Hello, Daniel. Eric said you might be here.

678. I'd like to take you home, Serena.

679. I should probably go,

680. test out some of... Those theories of yours,

681. see if they hold up.

682. I'm really glad you're Nate's friend.

683. He really needs someone like you right now.

684. Hey. Where is everyone?

685. Well...

686. The party wasn't the same after you left.

687. Actually, i think it might've even stopped

688. while you were still here.

689. I owe you an apology.

690. No, I'm the one who said things they shouldn't have.

691. No, not about that, about the 17 years that i wasn't here.

692. And i did put the men in my life before you guys.

693. Well, it wasn't all bad.

694. There was a brief period between klauses.

695. Don't forget that, uh, weekend with sarkozy

696. when he made us go to euro Disney. Oh!

697. I'm sorry i embarrassed you

698. in front of a national magazine.

699. And I'm sorry i acted the way i did.

700. Apology accepted.

701. Well, our family is our family.

702. That's just who we are.

703. And i shouldn't care who knows about it, and i don't.

704. Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change.

705. It doesn't happen very often,

706. but when it does,

707. it's almost always right.

708. You killed the story, didn't you? - I already put out the hit.

709. Sometimes it takes what's broken

710. becoming whole again.

711. Uh... "R."

712. What happened? Sometimes it takes

713. opening up to new people and letting them in.

714. Hope you don't mind, but we've, uh, we've got a lodger.

715. So I'll make up the sofa? I'll get the ice cream.

716. And I'll get the guitar

717. and the "songs of the '80s" fakebook. I'm thinking wham!

718. Uh, almost forgot— make yourself at home.

719. But most times, it takes just one person

720. who is truly afraid to show what they feel

721. getting an opportunity they never thought possible.

722. What took you so long?

723. If you thought that was long,

724. you have no idea what you're in for.

725. say it.

726. Say what? I'll say anything.

727. Say those three words you wanted me to say.

728. "are you kidding?"

729. Not quite.

730. Eight letters. Three syllables.

731. Say them, and I'm yours.

732. But I'm already yours,

733. and you're ruining the mood with all this talk. You can't say it.

734. You wanted it from me. I'm prepared to settle.

735. maybe I'm not.

736. Chuck bass,

737. i...

738. Will never say those words to you.

739. Then you will never have me.

740. is this because of Vanessa? It was a game, Chuck.

741. That's it.

742. Maybe i want to raise the stakes.

743. Are you ready to play that game?

744. I chased you for long enough.

745. Now it's time you chased me.

746. and some things never change.

747. Let a new game begin.

748. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.