Gossip Girl 2x5

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. You must really want this.

3. Yeah. Yeah, i really, really do. Where's that story of yours?

4. Noah shapiro at the "Paris review"

5. is looking forward to it. I-i know. I tried to write.

6. You'll get no letter of recommendation from me. I need a friend.

7. I'm sorry, Lily. You made your choice to be Mrs. bass.

8. You need to go do that. You're a born queen. This is your year to rule.

9. I wonder how that happened.

10. And who am i?

11. That's a secret I'll never tell.

12. You know you love me.

13. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

14. When the white tents blossom in Bryant park,

15. it can only mean one thing— fashion week,

16. the time of year when any park ave Princess

17. would trade her last Prada pochette

18. for front row seats to the best shows.

19. and we hear the seating chart to Eleanor Waldorf's show

20. is being made by our very own b.

21. This art director

22. just ran off with the husband of this photo editor.

23. So i sat all of "vanity fair" between them.

24. I figured we'd want to avoid

25. than that drug-addled publicist.

26. It's a blessing she was hauled off to rehab

27. And you and Serena will be with me backstage, of course?

28. Of course. It's our tradition.

29. Now i hope you don't mind,

30. but i sat the girls from school in the second row.

31. Well, since they are your friends, why not?

32. Besides, they'll worship you for it. I know.

33. Oh, school.

34. Another day of reading, writing and aristocrats.

35. You back to invisible boy? Invisible suits me. I can go to school unshowered.

36. I can forget to dress. Nobody cares.

37. And now i have all the time in the world

38. to focus on my Yale application, so... Don't you mean dartmouth?

39. Yeah, well, it seems that

40. dartmouth's whole English department was poached by Yale.

41. which stories to submit. Wait. What happened to that Jeremiah Harris guy?

42. Oh, yeah. He, uh, well, after he fired me,

43. i went ahead and sent my story to shapiro anyway,

44. and he—he—he loved it. That's great! Why haven't you told me any of this?

45. Well, I've barely seen you.

46. You're always off at your internship.

47. Hey. You have French first period.

48. Aren't you gonna be late? Uh. Uh, we have a sub, and he always starts late, so...

49. Okay. Well, I'm really late for Italian, so ciao, sorella Mia.

50. Hi. Laurel? Yeah, it's me. Sorry. I got stuck in traffic.

51. I'll see you at Eleanor's in five, okay?

52. Kiki Smith greeting you in the foyer.

53. Elm and drag pulling you into the main room.

54. I love that.

55. And making a statement on the stairwell—

56. Richard Phillips.

57. Hi, mom. I borrowed your necklace.

58. Oh, it's stunning! Serena, do you think— it's a necklace, mom.

59. Oh, but I'm talking about the art collection.

60. Isn't it just breathtaking?

61. Any museum would be thrilled.

62. Let's hope Bart is when he gets back from Luxembourg this week.

63. It's really great, mom.

64. Your art consultant has exquisite taste.

65. You got in late last night. Oh, yeah.

66. I had the m.O.M.A. Event with, uh, poppy. - Mm.

67. We were perfect ladies, though. We sipped on sodas all night.

68. and they've been attached at the hip ever since.

69. Now for over here...

70. Yes, the Ryan mcginley.

71. Yes. Uh, something else.

72. There's a mapplethorpe that's coming up for auction. Uh...

73. Wait. Mapplethorpe—

74. isn't that the one who took all the pictures of the naked guys?

75. Yeah. Um, not just guys.

76. Wait.

77. Mom, did you... Well...

78. You modeled for mapplethorpe? Well, i kept it a secret,

79. You just became the coolest mom on the Upper East Side.

80. Mm. Thank you.

81. Ah, the besieged queen.

82. What do you want, Chuck? To help. Your throne's in danger,

83. and you can't wage war on Serena without an Ally.

84. You need me. - There is no war.

85. Now that Marcus has been booted back to Brighton,

86. I'm free to focus on my old life.

87. Serena's just been keeping my seat warm.

88. And how do you plan on making the girls fall at your feet?

89. You going to trip them? A true monarch bestows favors. It's fashion week,

90. and I'm the only constance girl with clout.

91. Ladies...

92. I trust tomorrow night you won't embarrass me.

93. Oh, my god. Second row seats to your mother's show?

94. Oh, my god. Those are total movie star seats. Oh.

95. Serena is in "women's wear daily"...

96. With poppy lifton. Serena could, like, die now

97. knowing that she's lived a fulfilled life. Hey, guys.

98. What? Oh, gosh. I haven't even seen that.

99. Blair, where are you going?

100. I'll just leave you to your fans.

101. So when can i meet her?

102. Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much Joy.

103. And you know what you give to everyone, Chuck? Misery.

104. There's a reason you're always out here alone.

105. Nate just happens to be away at his grandparents'.

106. Nate's only friends with you out of habit.

107. The only person with fewer friends than you

108. is Dan Humphrey, and at least his lame '90s dad likes him.

109. And that's because he's something you'll never be—

110. a human being.

111. Let me be blunt, Humphrey. These stories are no good.

112. What?

113. Uh, you—you— you said my last one was...

114. It wasn't bad.

115. These are just more of the same.

116. Okay.

117. You sent me five stories,

118. all about a sheltered young man with girl trouble

119. who lives with his daddy in Brooklyn.

120. You think that's gonna knock the Yale English department

121. off their tenured asses?

122. I-i just— i thought a writer

123. was supposed to write what you know.

124. This is what i know.

125. Then learn something new. Get out of your comfort zone.

126. A cardinal rule of writing—

127. if your work's too safe, do something dangerous.

128. I-i wouldn't know where to begin.

129. Then find someone who does know.

130. When i was young,

131. bukowski put a shot glass on my head

132. and blew it off with a pistol.

133. Find your bukowski.

134. Then get back to me.

135. When i said "'50s hemline,"

136. i meant like flirty Marilyn,

137. not long, dowdy poodle skirt. I'm so sorry, Eleanor.

138. Fix this thing before i faint.

139. Eleanor, this seating chart is weak.

140. Where are all our "it" girls?

141. They're there. Look.

142. Well, Kirsten Dunst? So 2007.

143. Her rehab stint barely made the radar.

144. Blair says we can't get "a"-list girls

145. because our show is the same time as Marc Jacobs.

146. But those girls bring press.

147. Without them...

148. Eleanor, Serena has some new friends.

149. I bet she could help. New friends?

150. It's like the plague,

151. only instead of vermin on my doorstep,

152. i get the "human being." Beat it, Humphrey.

153. I-i know we don't like each other.

154. You think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody.

155. I don't think of you. Oh, right. Of course you don't,

156. but, uh, but I've been thinking of me,

157. and—and I've come to the conclusion

158. that i need to get out of my comfort zone.

159. I-i need to experience new things. - Are you gay?

160. Now that would be out of my comfort zone, but no.

161. Uh, i just need to get out of Brooklyn for one night.

162. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck bass.

163. You're lucky I'm bored.

164. Is that a yes?

165. Get in before i change my mind.

166. Don't ever go to high school, Dorota.

167. The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful.

168. One snapshot with a socialite

169. and it's all, "Serena! Serena! Serena!"

170. they'd never see the inside of a fashion tent?

171. They'd be stuck behind the barricades with p.E.T.A.!

172. In fact, i will leave them outside with p.E.T.A.

173. Maybe that'll teach them some manners.

174. Something's different.

175. Who put Serena and that poppy person in the front row?

176. And all these socialites?

177. Someone changed this chart,

178. the chart my mother asked me to do!

179. Who changed it?

180. Eleanor said miss... Jenny change.

181. Jenny Humphrey?

182. I guess she didn't learn her lesson last year.

183. Looks like someone needs a refresher course.

184. What would fashion week be without a fashion victim?

185. Looks like little j. Just started her own trend—

186. wearing a bull's-eye on her back.

187. Mom. - Good. You saw the changes we made to the chart.

188. Aren't they marvelous? That's not quite the word i was going to use.

189. Jenny had the inspired idea putting Serena

190. and poppy lifton and their friends in the front row.

191. But i already told you poppy and her crowd

192. never miss Marc Jacobs' show.

193. And Serena would never watch the show

194. from anywhere but backstage with me.

195. Even Serena?

196. Absolutely. Marc is going to eat his grunge corduroys.

197. All this thanks to little Jenny Humphrey. Ah, the girl is quite a talent.

198. She shouldered most of the workload

199. at the atelier this week. How did she manage that after school?

200. Jenny doesn't go to school. She's got a-a... Independent study?

201. Independent study thing this semester.

202. A 10th grader with an independent study?

203. Mm-hmm.

204. I just realized i forgot a book at school.

205. Have fun, honey.

206. You never learn, do you? Excuse me?

207. Great job ruining my seating chart.

208. Your seating chart? Blair, i didn't know.

209. Well, now you do.

210. (man) Here you go.

211. Wow. Wow, that's cool.

212. You just signal the bartender,

213. and she sends over a line of shots?

214. Do you—do you have another signal if you want a Martini?

215. Is—is there, like, a insider hand-signal system

216. for the drunken elite? Shut up, Humphrey.

217. i, uh, I'm good with just one.

218. You're either in for the full ride or you're out.

219. What's it going to be?

220. all right. Pass me the shots.

221. The liquor's just a chaser.

222. What is that? - Does it matter?

223. Go down the rabbit hole

224. or go out the door.

225. It is so nice to finally get to meet you, Mrs. bass. You, too, poppy.

226. Please call me Lily. Hey, mom, poppy told me that you called her assistant

227. to make arrangements for the two of us

228. Blair would be furious. Things are already tense between us.

229. And we always watch the show backstage together.

230. You know that, mom. I know you did that when you were 12,

231. but it is an honor to sit in the front row,

232. Yeah, but you don't know Blair.

233. She would never forgive me, ever. Okay, we'll do Eleanor's show,

234. and then when we go to the Marc Jacobs after party,

235. your friend Blair can come along. I have extra passes! See, that is a wonderful idea.

236. Oh. Uh, she might be okay with that.

237. I'll ask her. Oh, sorry. Forgive me, girls. I have to take this call.

238. It's my art dealer. Did you find the photo?

239. It can't have already sold.

240. The auction's not until next week.

241. Okay, well, find out who bought it

242. and make them a better offer.

243. Blair, what could we have done to deserve a visit from you?

244. I heard Jenny wasn't feeling well,

245. so i brought her some chicken soup.

246. That's thoughtful of you.

247. Uh, but i think you have the wrong information.

248. You mean Jenny's not sick?

249. That's strange.

250. When i ran into headmistress queller,

251. she told me Jenny Humphrey hadn't been to school

252. in ten days due to a bad case of mono.

253. Apparently, her mother called to make sure the school knew.

254. You know that Jenny's working with your mom tonight.

255. I also know that you don't have

256. my daughter's best interests at heart.

257. Whatever my motives may be, Mr. Humphrey, facts are facts,

258. and the fact is, Jenny hasn't been to school in two weeks.

259. I happen to have

260. headmistress queller's home number in my phone.

261. Why don't you ask her yourself?

262. You know, that was so intense, how you talked to those hookers.

263. Who knew there was a sex club behind the white castle?

264. Oh, and beer before liquor.

265. How do you know so many twins? - The twins find me.

266. Ah. Well, look, you know, i-i-i got to admit,

267. this was, uh, this was awesome.

268. We gotta do this again.

269. God. My feet are hot. Are your feet hot?

270. Why don't you take off your shoes? - Mm.

271. That feels amazing.

272. Arthur, pull over.

273. This isn't Brooklyn. Aren't you taking me home?

274. Get out.

275. Wait. No. I-i-i don't—

276. tonight was nothing.

277. You're just a drunken idiot...

278. My amusement for the night.

279. Can i at least have my shoes?

280. Spotted—Dan Humphrey,

281. shoeless and clueless...

282. That's all. Hey, baby. You want to go out?

283. Dad, what are you doing here?

284. I suggest you get up and come with me without another word.

285. I can't. Eleanor and Laurel are gonna be back any minute.

286. I don't care. As of this minute, your fashion duties are over.

287. Dad, i promised Eleanor I'd fix this hem.

288. She's counting on me, okay? And i counted on you to show up to school,

289. the school to which i pay tens of thousands of dollars

290. every year, might i add.

291. So i think you've had plenty of practice letting people down.

292. Let's go.

293. Okay.

294. They say in fashion, you can become a success overnight.

295. But one minute you're in,

296. and the next you're out.

297. it's not as bad as it looks.

298. A girl in my class was e-mailing me my assignments,

299. and i was keeping up with all of my reading.

300. I just needed to get through fashion week,

301. and it would have been fine.

302. Being a liar and a truant is not what i would call "fine."

303. Look, I'm sorry that i cut school and that i lied.

304. I just—i wanted to help Eleanor so badly,

305. and i did.

306. Dad, I'm really good at this.

307. Well, i hope you're as good at groveling.

308. I just spent 30 minutes on the phone this morning

309. with headmistress queller, convincing her

310. that you shouldn't be expelled.

311. I did my part. Now you're gonna do yours.

312. You have an appointment at her office this afternoon

313. to prove you're an honorable person

314. worthy of a second chance. Go get dressed. Dad, it's a Saturday.

315. So be glad she's willing to come in on her day off.

316. What do you want? I tried to reach you all night.

317. Why haven't you returned any of my calls? What is there to say?

318. You've only taken over the girls at school

319. and abandoned our oldest tradition

320. to go to my mother's show with a complete stranger.

321. First of all, i didn't take over the girls at school. Are you really gonna pretend

322. They move from flower to flower.

323. They'll be on to someone else next week and then back to you.

324. It's not a big deal. And i suppose it's not a big deal

325. Oh, and how could you possibly disappoint my mother?

326. Though you have no qualms about screwing over your best friend. Fine. I won't go.

327. Good! - And then poppy won't go, and her friends won't go,

328. and you can explain to your mother

329. of the Serena show. You know, i was coming here to invite you to hang out with us.

330. Oh, how generous, Serena. I should feel so blessed

331. that you would include me in your little group.

332. You know what, Blair? I am gonna go to that show,

333. and I'm gonna sit front row,

334. and I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it.

335. Boo! - But—

336. Brooklyn kid sees a live hooker for the first time,

337. loses his shoes.

338. There's so much saccharine in this, it's giving me cancer.

339. All right, but i did what you told me.

340. I-i went out with a guy i can't stand.

341. Uh, yes. This Charlie trout character—

342. now that guy's interesting, complex,

343. a young mephistopheles.

344. Write from his point of view. Then you'd have a story. - No, no.

345. No, there's no way that I'm writing from his point of view.

346. I hate that guy. You're judging the character, Humphrey.

347. You think capote got national acclaim

348. for "in cold blood" by judging the murderers?

349. I'm—I'm guessing no.

350. Dig beneath the surface.

351. Get into Charlie trout's head.

352. Find the character's humanity.

353. That might be difficult.

354. We all have a secret.

355. A writer's best tool is the ability

356. to draw out a subject's secret and use it.

357. Okay, so i go back out there,

358. i-i make him trust me and find out his secret?

359. Be ruthless and bring me back a story with teeth.

360. Did you find it?

361. I did. - Did you offer the seller whatever they want for it?

362. I didn't have to. You already know the man who bought it.

363. Excuse me?

364. Your husband. Bart bought it anonymously.

365. I had to call in a favor with a friend at sotheby's

366. to get his name. But i never mentioned it to him.

367. He's Bart bass. I'm sure he found out about it

368. but that is the kind of husband I've always wanted.

369. Lena, so glad you could make it. I love your hat.

370. (Man) This way, poppy. Can we get a picture? (Man) Serena! Poppy!

371. Excuse me.

372. oh. Is there a problem, Serena?

373. Yeah, there is.

374. Excuse me. I think there's been a mistake.

375. My name is Serena Van Der Woodsen,

376. and someone else's name is on my seat. Let me check.

377. There's no mistake.

378. Miss Van Der Woodsen is sitting in the back row. No, she's not.

379. She's in the front row with poppy lifton. What are you doing here?

380. My job, no thanks to you. Don't you have socks to darn?

381. Blair, this is not about you or me.

382. Go find Serena's name card and put it on the correct seat.

383. Don't touch Serena's name card. It remains where it is.

384. Jenny, why aren't you backstage?

385. Oh. What's going on?

386. Uh, it seems like someone's moved Serena's seat.

387. Yeah, someone.

388. what is the matter with you? I am so sorry, Serena.

389. Would you take care of this right away, please?

390. Could you just spare me the dramatics for one day?

391. Go backstage. Try not to get underfoot.

392. Jenny, i am so glad that you are here.

393. Yeah? Good to hear your voice, too, dad.

394. What is it, Chuck? I remembered you were flying in tonight.

395. Is it unimaginable for a son

396. to just want to sit and talk with his father?

397. Chuck, I'm tired, I'm jet-lagged, and ...

398. And i have to take this call.

399. Okay. Well, maybe later.

400. Good talking to you, too.

401. So was that really the best you had last night?

402. Don't tell me that was the great Chuck bass.

403. Stick around.

404. Hey. Um, would you mind putting this in the back for me?

405. It's my dress for the after party. - No problem.

406. Thanks. - Hi. Somehow my job got mixed up with Jenny's,

407. and i want to make sure there's no more confusion.

408. Great. Thanks a lot.

409. Spotted—Blair Waldorf looking to do a good deed?

410. There's a first time for everything.

411. So what's it really like to be Chuck bass?

412. Were you— were you a happy kid?

413. When'd you start drinking in bars alone?

414. When i realized hot, desperate women drink in bars alone.

415. What's your father like?

416. Me.

417. Only older...

418. And meaner.

419. Look, 20 questions is getting a bit boring.

420. If you'll excuse me,

421. I'm going to pursue a more fulfilling pastime.

422. Hey.

423. Hey.

424. I pay cash up front now. Let's go.

425. Excuse me?

426. Oh, my mistake.

427. Hey. What's up?

428. That guy just said I'm a hooker.

429. Did you just call my girlfriend a prostitute?

430. It was an honest mistake.

431. There's nothing honest about it. Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

432. It's not my fault

433. your girlfriend dresses like a high-class call girl.

434. That's it. You're dead. Ooh!

435. Jenny!

436. Message one.

437. Mr. Humphrey, this is headmistress queller.

438. I spoke with Jennifer this afternoon,

439. and the situation has gotten out of control.

440. Please call me immediately.

441. (Man) Michael! Michael!

442. (Man) Oh, you look gorgeous, tinsley. Thank you. (Man) Cristina! Over here!

443. Oh.

444. Full house.

445. Mm-hmm. Jenny, get the models ready to go.

446. Done. - Good.

447. Where are the models? What? Which models?

448. The models that are about to walk the runway

449. wearing your mother's clothes? Oh, those models.

450. Somehow they got the idea that they'd been overbooked,

451. so they went home. What? They went home?

452. They're not the brightest bulbs, are they?

453. Jenny, we start in ten. Are the models ready?

454. No. The models are gone.

455. What? What do you mean, the models are gone?

456. How can they be gone?

457. Wh—what did you do with them? Are you trying to kill me?

458. Laurel, it's gonna be okay.

459. What? - I have an idea.

460. Jail, brawling in public.

461. You know, i hear Yale's looking

462. to recruit more bar fighters this year.

463. Bar fighters and, um, pacific islanders.

464. They're looking to round out the freshman class.

465. For what it's worth, Humphrey, you had my back.

466. College versus Chuck bass' gratitude—

467. i think that's a-an even trade.

468. Oh. Oh, no. My dad— my dad's gonna kill me.

469. Count yourself lucky.

470. Lucky? H-how is it lucky

471. that my own father is gonna murder me?

472. My father doesn't care enough to get angry. Yeah, I'm sure.

473. Please. He expects this.

474. Oh, he'll be annoyed that he has to call his lawyer.

475. After that...

476. Has he always been like that?

477. Since the day i was born.

478. No, that's crazy.

479. Even Bart bass doesn't hate babies.

480. It's, uh, it's in our d.N.A.

481. I think Disney did a study. He hated me.

482. That doesn't make sense.

483. It does if his beloved wife...

484. Died giving birth to me.

485. That's not your fault.

486. Tell him that.

487. Sometimes i swear he thinks i killed her.

488. Who knows? Maybe i did.

489. Chuck bass, your lawyer called.

490. You've been released.

491. I'll, uh...

492. See if my lawyer can have you released into his custody.

493. If they haven't reached your father yet,

494. maybe they won't have to.

495. Thanks.

496. Lily, I'm home.

497. Aha.

498. I have missed you.

499. Good, because i am going to steal your passport

500. and lock you in our room.

501. Mmm.

502. Mmm.

503. That sounds like the perfect plan.

504. But not before i give you something.

505. Oh!

506. I mean, if it's not your taste, we can exchange it.

507. Oh, no, no, no. The necklace is exquisite.

508. It's... it's just—

509. you didn't happen to buy a piece of art recently?

510. Perhaps a mapplethorpe?

511. Yes, i did.

512. You did. Oh! You did. You got it for me.

513. Oh! How did you know and when can i see it?

514. Well, you can't.

515. No one can.

516. I don't understand.

517. Lily, I'm a powerful man,

518. and that makes me and those around me a target,

519. and it is my job to protect this family

520. from anything that can be used against us. Used against us?

521. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

522. H-how did you even know about it?

523. Did you hire someone to look into my past?

524. Do you have a Lily bass dossier?

525. I want to see it.

526. Lily...

527. I want to see it.

528. Everything.

529. How on earth does one lose models?

530. N-n-never mind. This is going to be sensational.

531. "Models lost, socialites save the day."

532. Oh! - Your show will get so much press,

533. it'll drive Marc Jacobs to drink.

534. God forbid.

535. Every time he goes to rehab, his sales soar.

536. What do you think?

537. Well, the dress fits. - Mm-hmm.

538. How handy is it that society girls are wafer-thin?

539. I hope you know what you're doing. Yeah. Me, too.

540. hey. Why aren't you dressed? I don't think I'm gonna do this.

541. Blair would be crushed.

542. If anybody's gonna walk the runway in Eleanor's designs,

543. it's her.

544. Serena, I've only known you for a few weeks,

545. but it's pretty clear you've spent your whole life

546. worrying about Blair and what she thinks and how she feels.

547. You don't understand. I was best friends for years

548. with this girl that was just like Blair,

549. and it was subtle,

550. but i was always having to make myself less sparkly

551. so that she wouldn't feel insecure.

552. Till one day i finally realized that is crazy...

553. 'Cause a true friend would want you

554. to be your most beautiful, vibrant self.

555. No, i just—i really don't want to hurt her.

556. I know. I know.

557. But is that a good reason to hide your light?

558. You're gorgeous, sweet, amazing.

559. If Blair's a true friend, she'll support you.

560. You're right.

561. Yeah? Okay. Come on.

562. Eleanor, where's my dress?

563. Here. Here. - Blair.

564. This will be beautiful on you. It's for the finale. Are you sure?

565. Yes, yes. It's fine. Just hurry. Okay.

566. Where's Serena?

567. She's onstage.

568. But i have her dress.

569. Oh. You mean Serena's on the runway

570. of Eleanor Waldorf's show

571. in a design not made by Eleanor Waldorf?

572. Oh, dear.

573. That's not my dress.

574. Yeah. I-it's my dress.

575. Why did you do this?

576. I waved the white flag at school. Why don't—

577. why don't you just claim your throne and leave me alone? Because i can't.

578. This is about Serena. I didn't realize.

579. And why would you?

580. Y-you might be privileged, Blair,

581. but you work for every single thing you've achieved,

582. like me.

583. Serena just glides through.

584. Tell me about it.

585. I wanted to be your friend last year for a reason.

586. I wanted you to like me.

587. Here you go.

588. Hey, you gave me the wrong bag.

589. You have letters that i wrote to my college boyfriend?

590. You mean the professor you slept with while at school.

591. Bart, where did you get these? It doesn't matter, Lily.

592. I love you, and my concern is for our family.

593. Bart, I'm not ashamed of who i am.

594. I may have concealed things in the past, but not anymore.

595. I want my children to know their mother.

596. Is this something you want your kids to know?

597. Who gave this to you?

598. You were writing about me?

599. Where'd you get that?

600. You watch your back.

601. No one uses Chuck bass.

602. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

603. I hope they make a Humphrey sandwich.

604. The story i told you about my mother?

605. I was lying.

606. My mother died in a plane crash in the andes when i was 6.

607. You did this on purpose.

608. You put Serena into your dress

609. so you could sneak it into my show. No, i didn't. I swear.

610. When i expose your Eve harrington ways,

611. your bright future will be snuffed out like a candle.

612. Eleanor, andré Leon talley is raving about the finale dress.

613. He said it was the perfect culmination to your line,

614. loved it. They loved the dress?

615. My dress?

616. Eleanor, i used scraps of fabric i found around the atelier,

617. and i adapted one of your old patterns.

618. It's basically your design. Please take credit for it.

619. I am Eleanor Waldorf.

620. I do not have to take credit for a dress made by a child.

621. Mom, Jenny saved the show.

622. It was her idea to use the socialites.

623. And look. It's a smash success.

624. Take your bow.

625. Please?

626. What else are you gonna do, mom?

627. What the hell.

628. a guy's acting crazy outside, wants to be let in,

629. says he's your father. Should i put him on the list?

630. Um, no.

631. My dad's out of town. It must be a mistake. - Okay.

632. When the phone rang in the dead of the night,

633. i expected a Booty call from Lucy the stewardess,

634. not a call from lockup. Yeah, look, I'm sorry about this.

635. I didn't have anywhere else to turn, really.

636. Police stations at midnight make me nostalgic for my youth.

637. So it turns out that guy you clocked dropped the charges.

638. Oh, good. That—that's a relief.

639. I'm proud of you, Humphrey. You really shook it up. - Yeah.

640. Did you get Charlie trout's secret in the process?

641. Uh, yeah, yeah. He thinks he killed his mother.

642. Bingo! You're gonna have a hell of a story.

643. Yeah, you know, I'm— I'm not gonna use it, though.

644. What do you mean? Well, if i have to exploit people to be a good writer,

645. then, you know, maybe— maybe I'm not a good writer.

646. I don't—I'd rather be safe than use people for art.

647. Harris was right when he cut you loose.

648. You'll always be second-rate.

649. Maybe, maybe, but you know what?

650. I have—i have an idea for a new story.

651. It's about an egomaniacal, washed-up writer

652. who manipulates his protégée.

653. It's a classic tale of disillusionment.

654. Good luck with that. I'll look for it in "reader's digest."

655. I can use it to prop up my pulitzers.

656. I would like to thank everyone

657. for making the show a spectacular success.

658. But most of all,

659. i would like to thank Jenny Humphrey,

660. the sensational Jenny Humphrey.

661. Without her hard work and talent,

662. the show literally would not have gone on.

663. To Jenny.

664. To Jenny.

665. (All) To Jenny.

666. Serena, can we talk?

667. About what? How you tried to publicly humiliate me?

668. You know about the dress. Yeah, Laurel told me.

669. She said it was an accident. Clearly, she doesn't know you.

670. I'm sorry.

671. I was hurt, okay?

672. Y-you blew off our most beloved tradition.

673. Just get over it, Blair.

674. Excuse me?

675. My whole life, i have been bending over backwards

676. to protect your feelings.

677. And you know what? It's not my fault you're so insecure.

678. And I'm sure it's not your fault you're so conceited.

679. I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back

680. so i don't outshine you. Oh, my god.

681. Can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?

682. Just the truth.

683. From now on, I'm gonna be who i am,

684. and if you can support that

685. and not be threatened and competitive, then great.

686. If not...

687. From now on, your privileges

688. Watch me. Dad, you pursued your music when you were young.

689. You didn't focus on school,

690. and you got what you wanted for a while.

691. then you wouldn't consider them mistakes.

692. And maybe I'm just more— more talented than me? Believe me. I hope you are.

693. I hope you become a success at whatever it is you choose,

694. after you finish school. Well, maybe that's not the path i want.

695. Is that what you told headmistress queller,

696. that you don't care about all the school you've missed?

697. No. I told her I'm not coming back.

698. If there's one thing I've learned,

699. it's that there would be no gossip without secrets.

700. you might be brave enough to reveal your secret,

701. only to have it used against you...

702. Or someone else's secret might affect you in unexpected ways.

703. there are some secrets you're only too happy to keep.

704. Others surface

705. only to be buried away deeper than they were before.

706. But the most powerful secrets

707. are the truths you thought you could never reveal,

708. that once spoken, change everything.

709. but don't worry, b.

710. The brightest stars burn out the fastest,

711. or at least that's what i heard.

712. Waiting for a star to fall,

713. x.O.X.O., gossip girl.