Gossip Girl 2x23

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Will you move in with me?

3. Yes, of course i will. I don't want you to go near her again.

4. You said that you trusted me. I thought we found out today it was a mistake,

5. mixing business and pleasure. I would be so proud to help you.

6. If we act now, we make at least triple our investment.

7. I want in. With all these investments from the party,

8. we should have everything we need by the end of the month.

9. The drawers and closets are empty. He's gone. What do you mean gone?

10. There's only one person who knows what really happened

11. that night Gabriel supposedly met Serena.

12. Chuck bass?

13. Have you been saved, too?

14. And who am i?

15. That's a secret I'll never tell.

16. You know you love me.

17. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

18. Four wise men once said,

19. "i get by with a little help from my friends."

20. But on the Upper East Side, there's the added challenge

21. of figuring out who those friends really are.

22. Hello?

23. It as bad as we thought, maybe worse.

24. How so? Well, Gabriel didn't just skip town.

25. He took off with all the money that he got my mom

26. and the co-op to invest, and he took poppy's money, too.

27. The entire thing was a scam.

28. Well, his suits never did fit right. How much did he get?

29. I'm not sure. I'm on my way home to tell my mom right now.

30. When are you gonna be back? As fast as i can,

31. given my current transportation situation.

32. Hey, Chuck, i really am sorry

33. for not believing you and Blair earlier.

34. But you never did tell me how you found out

35. ah.

36. no, thank you.

37. The lord cannot enter a body sullied by alcohol.

38. Good, because i like to be the one doing the entering.

39. To each their own holy water.

40. We want the harp and not the cello,

41. and make sure we have two cases of champagne. Okay.

42. Good-bye. I didn't even know you were out.

43. Yeah, i had to go and try to catch—

44. Gabriel? We had such a nice time with you two last night.

45. He is so charming, and that idea...

46. Yeah, actually, um, i-i wanted to talk to you about that.

47. Okay, but before you do, there is something i want you to have.

48. I was gonna wait until you were 21,

49. but I've been so proud of you lately,

50. with brown and graduation coming.

51. Go ahead. Open it.

52. It was your great grandmother's.

53. I took it out of the, uh, safety deposit box this morning.

54. It's beautiful, mom, but it's—it's too much.

55. I-i can't accept it. I don't deserve it.

56. Well, of course you do.

57. Serena, you're becoming a wonderful woman,

58. and i want you to have

59. something that represents that.

60. Now tell me, what were you gonna say about Gabriel?

61. - Oh, it must be the caterer.

62. Yeah, um, just take that, and—and we'll talk later, okay?

63. And thank you. This is really... something.

64. Uh, don't forget.

65. We have to leave for brunch in ten minutes. - Yeah.

66. Hello?

67. Yes. Okay.

68. Hey, Blair. It's me. Um, i need your help again.

69. I'm on my way. We'll have to continue this later.

70. Serena needs me. - No, no, no. "Serena needs me" is

71. officially an no longer excuse to avoid talking. She's my best friend.

72. The question of whether you got this apartment

73. because you love me or because you don't trust me

74. will have to wait. Fine. That wasn't even the question.

75. The question was and remains—

76. do you want to live in it with me?

77. Serena's waiting.

78. Fine. I'm coming with you.

79. Have a great day.

80. Okay, dad, seriously, this whole happy thing?

81. It's a little annoying.

82. Yeah, seconded. Humming is—is fine for home,

83. but "zip-a-Dee-doo-dah" on the "f"?

84. I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said

85. meant "stop" in her own language. What's not to be happy about?

86. We're all together. You know, Serena's boyfriend let me in

87. on an investment that could pay for both your educations,

88. Oh, not quite yet. I still have to ask permission.

89. Uh, from—from who, Cece?

90. No, Lily's not even speaking to her, and I'm fine with that.

91. The person whose permission i seek is Eric.

92. Well, he's gonna say yes. Well, still, Serena's gonna be at brown next year...

93. And Eric's gonna be there. He'll be the man of the house.

94. So, um, after we eat, we'll go for a walk.

95. I'll show him the ring. Well, it looks like we're not gonna have to wait

96. Y-you know what? Let me see what i can do.

97. I mean, she's generally not a morning person,

98. but show up with a bone dry cappuccino,

99. and she'll pretty much follow you anywhere.

100. So, uh, you know, I'll—I'll meet you at the restaurant.

101. And by the way, dad, congratulations. Dad!

102. Oh, I'm so glad you came, b.

103. Thank you so much for...

104. For bringing Nate.

105. I'm just as flummoxed as you are.

106. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it,

107. but he's faster than he looks.

108. and, b., if you tell me "i told you so" right now,

109. i might lose it, so please don't.

110. I'm sorry.

111. This isn't something i wanted to be right about.

112. Are you okay?

113. I don't know. I don't know.

114. I keep trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't.

115. I... It doesn't make any sense.

116. Feelings never do. They get you all confused.

117. Then they drive you around for hours

118. until they drop you right back to where you started. I need to fix this.

119. How can we help?

120. Well, i-i have a plan.

121. Tell me if you guys think it's crazy.

122. Where's Blair?

123. I agreed to give you a ride.

124. That's all. Meals are not included.

125. I told you. I just want to apologize.

126. One of the most sacred acts is the ritual of forgiveness.

127. Why is it when you say "ritual," i think "human sacrifice"?

128. If i wanted to hurt Blair,

129. don't you think i would have done it by now? - Wait here.

130. Hey, Gabriel, it's me.

131. Um, sorry i never came back this morning.

132. But i was coming to tell you something, and then I...

133. I got scared because...

134. I hope you had an enjoyable ride back on my leather seats. Shh.

135. Um, because...

136. Well, i might as well just say it now,

137. because i-i might get too scared again.

138. I think i might be pregnant.

139. Okay. That's it.

140. Call me, please.

141. A pregnancy ruse— cliché but effective.

142. Make sure you arrange the meeting

143. someplace where the authorities can surround him.

144. No open spaces.

145. You did call the police, right?

146. No, because then my mom will find out,

147. and that can't happen.

148. Well, all this assumes that the dirtbag even calls you back.

149. It's obviously time an expert took over this operation.

150. Serena... you should let Chuck handle this.

151. Gabriel's not calling back.

152. Just because he took off with all the money

153. doesn't mean the feelings between us weren't real.

154. Look, not only do i think he's gonna call me back,

155. but i think i can get all the money back from him. What money?

156. I'm sorry. I just came to coerce you into family brunch.

157. You didn't happen to see

158. Not that it's any of your business,

159. but Serena's fake boyfriend's investment was also fake.

160. He made off with the money. You can go now.

161. Wait. Wait a second.

162. My dad invested my college money with that guy.

163. Oh, my god. Dan, I'm so sorry. I-i didn't know.

164. Um, i-i have to tell him.

165. No, please don't. I-I'm taking care of it.

166. I'm getting everything back.

167. Unfortunately for him, the only way her plan is gonna work

168. wow. Look at that.

169. I'm so glad that everybody's here.

170. (Dan) I'll—I'll do it. Are you trying to have me killed, bass?

171. Why is she here?

172. Shh. Shut up. I am going to scream if somebody doesn't get her

173. out of here right now. So is this how you found out about that night at butter?

174. You bring Georgina here? Hey, does anybody know a Gabriel?

175. Gabriel, hey. Thank you for calling me back.

176. Hi.

177. Hi.

178. You okay?

179. Not really.

180. This is probably the wrong thing to say, but I'm happy to see ya.

181. You sounded really scared when you called me this morning.

182. Then you didn't show up.

183. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about me.

184. No, not at all.

185. Just... really confused.

186. Yeah, me, too. I-i thought we were being careful.

187. Well, i wasn't careful enough, it seems.

188. I'm not pregnant,

189. just naive.

190. I can't believe... I believed you.

191. Don't worry.

192. You're safe, for now.

193. I-i wanted to give you the opportunity to fix things,

194. to prove you're not who you probably are.

195. Listen, you have to know how sorry i am.

196. I don't know what you are right now except a liar and a thief,

197. but you can change one of those by giving the money back.

198. I can't do that.

199. Gabriel, why...

200. If you're just using me, why—why come back?

201. Why—why act like you care about me now?

202. You're not leaving my hotel until you repay your investors.

203. It's your choice.

204. Either you hand over the money

205. or we hand you over to the feds.

206. You have to believe me.

207. I would if i could,

208. b-but i don't have the money.

209. Poppy lifton does.

210. Oh, Daniel.

211. You just missed everyone.

212. Jenny said something about

213. going to an exhibit at the fashion institute,

214. and your father pulled Eric away, all very mysterious.

215. You all right?

216. Uh, no.

217. No. I mean, yeah. No, I'm not.

218. Well, there's clearly something on your mind.

219. Well, Serena asked me not to say anything.

220. Oh, that's my least favorite sentence. Start talking.

221. I think she's wrong not to say anything.

222. I—she doesn't know how serious this is,

223. or if she does, i mean, she thinks she can handle it,

224. and she really can't. Well, I'm sure if it's important,

225. she'll forgive you for breaking her trust.

226. Yeah.

227. Uh...

228. Gabriel is a con artist.

229. His—his investment was a scam.

230. He took all the money for himself, including my dad's. Oh, my god.

231. Yeah. Uh, Serena thinks she can somehow sweet-talk him

232. into giving everything back, but i mean, r—seriously,

233. i-i don't think

234. Blair and Chuck can scheme their way out of this one.

235. I thought about calling the cops,

236. The last thing we need is the authorities

237. I'll take care of it. Honestly, i was kind of hoping you'd say that.

238. Just do me a favor and don't say anything to anyone.

239. We don't need to make this

240. Get my dad's money back.

241. Thank you.

242. You know, poppy's got the rich friends...

243. Who invite her to parties,

244. the designers who give her expensive clothes...

245. To wear for photographs,

246. exes who've given her some awfully nice presents.

247. In other words, she's a "faux-cialite."

248. I met her at a Mercedes launch party.

249. The faux-cialite ball.

250. I tried enticing her into investing

251. in communication satellites for third world countries.

252. She tried enticing me into making her

253. the next Mrs. Edwards.

254. It turns out i was awfully good

255. at getting folks to give me their money.

256. I just wasn't so good at investing it.

257. Hence no Wi-Fi for the poor African children.

258. You know, i had to give my investors something,

259. so i brought on new investors to pay off the old investors.

260. And then those investors—

261. we know the rest. It's called a Ponzi scheme.

262. Serena, i swear to you,

263. in the beginning, you were just a mark.

264. And your mom—Bart bass' widow— was gonna be our big score.

265. But then my...

266. Then my feelings for you got in the way of that.

267. So how did poppy end up with all the money?

268. It was always business for us.

269. As soon as realized that we were both just playing rich,

270. i shared my plans with her,

271. and she shared her society connections.

272. When we hit our number, i was gonna disappear,

273. and she was gonna stay behind

274. and just be another rich society gal that i took advantage of.

275. Then you called me this morning.

276. She thought you made me. Smart girl.

277. Yeah. She said we had to end it now.

278. She offered to buy me out so i could leave.

279. She emptied the bank account and never showed up.

280. Instead, she went to your hotel room

281. and blamed the entire thing on you.

282. And i should've just left town...

283. But i couldn't go without seeing you again.

284. I'm afraid the only chance you have

285. of getting your money back...

286. Is finding poppy lifton.

287. This is taking too long. I'm going to get a cup of coffee.

288. Wait. No, don't leave me alone with her.

289. Well, come and talk with me.

290. Oh, or stay with me and talk.

291. Look, Blair, everyone else has forgiven me.

292. I'm just waiting on you.

293. Everyone who? And besides, some things are unforgivable.

294. God will help me

295. find a way to earn your forgiveness.

296. Oh, it looks like he answers my prayers faster than yours.

297. Chuck, what happened? We've got the wrong guy.

298. Believe it or not, the puppeteer is poppy.

299. Poppy?

300. Thank you for actually coming.

301. Nobody believed that you really would.

302. As much as you don't believe me, you're the only girl

303. who was ever worth waking a priest up for.

304. I really did fall for you.

305. Well, not enough, it seems.

306. The money was more important,

307. listen, Serena—

308. Gabriel, you should go.

309. Where's he going?

310. My p.I. Hasn't confirmed his story yet,

311. and even if it is true, he's still a crook. He's not the one we need,

312. and besides, if we really need to find him,

313. Well, she has to if she's gonna play the victim.

314. She—she wants us to think Gabriel fooled her, too. She wants money.

315. All we need to provide is

316. some sap she thinks she can get it from. Except she knows all of us.

317. She doesn't know all of us.

318. What?

319. No. Unh-unh.

320. Lying is also a sin. I will not perjure myself

321. in front of the lord. We'll see about that.

322. Looks like Georgina's losing her religion...

323. Or has b. Met her match in the battle for g.'S soul?

324. Here are the names and amounts

325. of the residents who invested with Mr. Edwards—

326. if that's his real name. Oh, I'm sorry, Bruce.

327. I know this goes beyond your usual duties.

328. Bass business usually does.

329. Hey. You keep calling. Is everything okay?

330. If you'll excuse us just a moment...

331. I know all about Gabriel's scheme,

332. and frankly, I'm disappointed that you did not come to me.

333. Dan?

334. I'm—I'm sorry, mom. I was gonna tell you and then...

335. I can't believe he told you.

336. Well, he obviously sees the situation and my role in it

337. much more clearly than you do.

338. Well, it is a mess, but—but it's—it's my mess,

339. and I'm gonna fix it. You will do no such thing.

340. Those goes far beyond bad taste in boyfriends.

341. But even you encouraged me to be with him.

342. If word gets out about this, all anyone will ever think

343. when they hear the name "Serena Van Der Woodsen"

344. is how you helped scam your friends and family

345. out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

346. I know. I know, and i feel terrible.

347. That's why I'm gonna get everything back. I have a plan. Ah, well, don't be naive.

348. The madoff people will be in court for years

349. and never see a dime.

350. The only plan is for me to quietly tell everyone

351. that the deal didn't work out and pay them back myself. But what about poppy?

352. What about her? She was behind all of this. She can't just get away with it.

353. Yes, she can, and especially if it means

354. that your name stays out of it. This is an adult scandal.

355. And the adult thing to do is for me to pay everyone back

356. and for you to do absolutely nothing.

357. Now let it go.

358. Am i understood?

359. Yeah.

360. Okay, Bruce.

361. Where were we here?

362. Well, we've been over all the investors except Rufus.

363. Well, how about we handle his payout

364. a little differently?

365. Uh-oh. You don't really seem all that excited.

366. No, the ring is amazing,

367. and i-i think it's great you want to marry my mom.

368. So has she—four times. Ah, those guys weren't right for her.

369. That's definitely true, but my mom can be a little crazy, too.

370. And i-i love her. I... i-i just—

371. i just don't want you to forget where she came from.

372. Trust me. I know the family,

373. and your mother is nothing like her mother.

374. And I'm totally up for the wild ride

375. So have you thought about how you're gonna propose?

376. I mean, Klaus with a "k" did it with a blimp,

377. "c"-claus did it on—on top of a pyramid,

378. although she didn't say yes to that.

379. But, uh, you have the bar set pretty high. Sure. Uh, but, um...

380. Yeah. Yeah. I have lots of ideas.

381. Come on, g.

382. Don't you miss dior? Prada?

383. Looking fabulous?

384. I mean, for you?

385. Jesus loves me as i am.

386. He would love you more with some styling.

387. Think of the fun you used to have

388. pretending to be Sarah and Svetlana,

389. slipping people roofies,

390. outing them to their unsuspecting parents at dinner.

391. Those things don't call to me anymore, Blair.

392. Look, i made a choice.

393. I let go of the evil

394. so i can find love and happiness with the good.

395. I know it sounds dull, but it's actually quite nurturing.

396. Can't you understand?

397. More than you know.

398. I gave up my old ways when i let Jesus take the wheel.

399. That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice.

400. I'm sorry,

401. but i can't help you if it goes against my beliefs.

402. But...

403. When you look at it,

404. Jesus drove you here. Right?

405. Actually, i believe his name was Jesus.

406. Not in the cab—in your country-western way of life.

407. You said god would help you find a way to earn my forgiveness.

408. Here it is.

409. So my amends would be to entrap poppy lifton,

410. get the money back that she stole

411. and destroy her in the process?

412. Exactly. If you cut revenge out of the Bible,

413. there's not even enough pages to make a pamphlet.

414. "And they shall know i am the lord

415. when i shall lay my vengeance on them."

416. How'd you know my favorite passage?

417. Hey, s.

418. My mom wants us to call off the plan.

419. What? No. Do you know how much work this exorcism was?

420. It's gonna take days for Dorota to reorganize my closet.

421. I don't like it either. I'm just telling you,

422. she wants to take care of things herself

423. and she wants us to leave poppy out of it. Poppy is it.

424. She's so evil she makes

425. the old Georgina look like the new Georgina. Serena?

426. I-i have to go. Just put the plan on hold

427. and do not do anything until i call you back, okay? S., wait!

428. I mean it, Blair.

429. Oh. Poppy came by to see how we were doing

430. after all the terrible drama this morning.

431. I mean, the money part was bad,

432. but i just felt like such an idiot.

433. I thought he loved me. Obviously you understand that. Obviously.

434. Poppy also told me that she's going to Miami tomorrow night.

435. Yeah. I have a cousin down there,

436. and i just thought, if i have to feel like a fool,

437. i might as well do it with a tan.

438. Oh, uh, you might want to check.

439. I think you have a little... Oh. Oh. Excuse me.

440. Yes.

441. What are you doing having tea and smiling at her?

442. We should lock the doors and call the police. We already discussed it.

443. The adult thing to do is to let it and her disappear.

444. She's not disappearing. She's going to Miami,

445. where she's gonna do the exact same thing to new people.

446. Well, we can only hope that those people

447. will be smarter than we were.

448. Sorry. My dad's not home. Can i take a message?

449. (Man) Just let him know

450. the paperwork from his recent investment's on its way.

451. Uh, there— there must be a mistake.

452. I was told that investment didn't happen.

453. No, sir. He should begin to receive dividends

454. in about six weeks.

455. I don't care what my mom says. Poppy lifton must pay.

456. I knew you would come to your senses.

457. Ta-da!

458. Hello.

459. Sherilyn Phillips.

460. My daddy's got a piece of the oil sands up in alberta—

461. a piece the size of Florida.

462. I'm so excited to meet my first New York friend

463. for tea tomorrow.

464. Maybe you know her? Poppy lifton?

465. Nice to meet you, sherilyn.

466. What do you think?

467. I sense aspiration,

468. yearning, striving to be accepted,

469. but then...

470. There's this appealing counter note

471. of sincerity and optimism.

472. This is the story of a young girl

473. who is enjoying her first taste

474. of the spoils of dirty oil.

475. It's perfection.

476. Well, there's no detail too small

477. to make sure poppy lifton goes down hard.

478. And you still think this is a better idea

479. than just calling the cops? It's better than my mother's version

480. of sleeping with the enemy. This will work.

481. Georgina has a recording device in her handbag.

482. Once we get poppy on tape

483. talking money, we can blackmail her

484. into handing over the cash. Yeah, and if poppy got arrested, she would never

485. give up the money, and as annoyed as i am

486. She thinks Gabriel took the fall.

487. All she's worried about right now is party invitations

488. and keeping a front row seat at Bryant park.

489. And she's greedy.

490. Hello? Hey, you said the Gabriel deal was a scam,

491. I mean, it's not exactly fair of you to ask me

492. to trust the return of my tuition to Blair and Chuck.

493. I told you i would take care of it,

494. and that's what I'm doing right now.

495. Serena, what are you doing?

496. Uh, I'm in the elevator. I'm losing you. Sorry.

497. Eric said Lily's at Barney's,

498. so we should have at least a couple hours.

499. I hope she likes all of this. Aw, dad, you're nervous. That's so cute!

500. Hey, do not call your father cute.

501. Dad, Lily's gonna love the proposal.

502. I hope so.

503. It's not exactly fireworks over the Eiffel Tower or a g5.

504. No, but you got her favorite flowers

505. and tracked down her favorite wine,

506. you bought bespoke chocolates

507. and you made all her favorite foods.

508. Although i still think that spareribs and scallops

509. are kinda gross together.

510. If you're trying to make me feel better, you're failing.

511. Look, all I'm saying is that big proposals are great, sure,

512. but yours is something more important.

513. It shows that you really know her

514. and you love her for who she is.

515. You're right. I do.

516. Quick. Buy me five minutes. Yeah, I'm on it.

517. Hi. - Oh, Jenny. I wasn't expecting to see you.

518. Lily. Uh, yeah, i know. I, um, wanted you to—

519. here I'll take those—

520. show me that marchesa dress that you wore last week.

521. I loved the zippers.

522. Hey. We need to talk.

523. Can't we talk inside? We need to talk about Blair.

524. Trouble in paradise? Listen, a couple days ago, you told me you were done with her.

525. And then you went and you did everything you could

526. maybe you should ask Serena not to get herself

527. into so much trouble. You know what i couldn't figure out is

528. why you would go out of your way to lie to me about how you felt.

529. Then i realized, you're not lying to me.

530. You're lying to yourself. That's a lovely theory you've concocted, Nathaniel.

531. You should have it published. Now if you'll excuse me...

532. No, no, no. Look, you had your shot, and you blew it.

533. So why start toying with her again?

534. I mean, if you want her, then man up and tell her.

535. Otherwise you gotta cut her loose. You gotta cut her loose,

536. and you gotta do it for real this time, man,

537. because i want her.

538. Bella's so in love with him, even though he's a vampire.

539. Maybe it's because he's a vampire. I don't know.

540. But the thing is, his family doesn't suck the blood,

541. so it makes her feel safer, but the problem is...

542. Is that Edward, the more he falls in love with her,

543. the more wants— - Jenny, ex— just one minute, Jenny.

544. Okay. - Okay. Hello? Yes. Okay.

545. Um. I'm gonna— - oh. Okay.

546. Thank you. Bye.

547. Hi. I'm sorry, Daniel. What—what was your question?

548. Well, i got nowhere with Serena on this,

549. so maybe you have an answer for me.

550. Why is my dad getting calls about dividends?

551. Did you—did you not get his money back?

552. Um... i did.

553. I put it in a very safe mutual fund

554. that will pay him dividends each month.

555. Okay. Then, uh, then what is Serena still taking care of

556. at the Russian tea room right now?

557. Hello?

558. Serena, whatever you're doing, i need you to stop right now.

559. She can't just get away with it.

560. You can smile at poppy all you want, mom,

561. but I'm not like that. It's not right. Well, i will not tolerate

562. you deciding what is right in this situation.

563. I am your mother,

564. and i am telling you to stop this instant.

565. It is nonnegotiable. Serena, do you hear me?

566. I'm sorry, mom. I have to go.

567. Serena, don't you dare.

568. Hi. It's Lily bass.

569. Well, find him.

570. I need to speak with him right now.

571. They say that numbers don't lie,

572. and money talks. Hi. Are you sherilyn?

573. I'm poppy. - Poppy, it's so nice to meet you.

574. But can Georgina still speak poppy's language?

575. I'm just loving it here.

576. Are you a Carrie?

577. I'm a Charlotte.

578. A Carrie?

579. Um, yeah.

580. I thought so.

581. did you see poppy's here?

582. I did. Georgina's going to text me

583. as soon as she starts talking money.

584. Great.

585. You look like you could use a cocktail.

586. You're too late.

587. Wow.

588. What?

589. That's the first true laugh I've gotten out of you in a while.

590. Listen, Blair—

591. no. Me first.

592. Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer.

593. I heard.

594. Don't you want to know what's stopping me?

595. I can't answer his question

596. while I'm waiting for you to answer mine,

597. the one i asked you forever ago...

598. What are we, Chuck?

599. Blair...

600. Last fall you said we couldn't be together.

601. And i believed you.

602. But every time i try to move on, you're right there,

603. acting like— - acting like what?

604. Like...

605. Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are.

606. I would never wish that on anyone.

607. I want you to be happy.

608. Then look down deep

609. into the soul i know you have...

610. And tell me if what you feel for me is real...

611. Or if it's just a game.

612. If it's real...

613. We'll figure it out,

614. all of us.

615. But if it's not...

616. Then please, Chuck,

617. just let me go.

618. It's just a game.

619. I hate to lose.

620. You're free to go.

621. Thank you.

622. Chuck, why did you just do that?

623. Because i love her.

624. And i can't make her happy.

625. New York is full of people doing such amazing things.

626. Who knew you could bring wireless

627. to third world countries? - Mm.

628. What a great job. Yeah. It's—it's really more of a passion than a job.

629. I mean, it gives so much to the children. - Of course.

630. I mean, they can look at faraway places

631. and—and read Bible stories.

632. And oh! Well, they can download kirk Cameron movies.

633. Yeah.

634. You know...

635. I'd really love to be a part of something like that.

636. My father was really hoping I'd find something philanthropic

637. to do while I'm down here.

638. I mean, you're such a great girl.

639. Look, if you can get me a payment today,

640. I'll find a way to get you in.

641. - Really?

642. That would be amazing.

643. I-i can't wait to help the children.

644. Um, let me just call the bank to set up a wire transfer.

645. Oh, um, I'm sorry. Just because of the time crunch,

646. I'm afraid I'm only gonna be able to accept cash.

647. Mm.

648. Hey, the police just pulled up.

649. The police? I thought Chuck was calling his p.I.

650. Wait. Where is he? - He just left.

651. Believe it or not, but as long as Georgina has poppy on tape,

652. we can let the cops arrest her.

653. Okay, well, text Georgina. Make sure she's ready.

654. I'm gonna go talk to the police.

655. Um...

656. Well, this is all the money i have for... emergencies,

657. but if you let me text my father,

658. I'm—I'm sure he can arrange for something more.

659. No, no. It's okay. It's a great start.

660. Okay.

661. god intended for us to meet.

662. I'm just glad i was able to get you in.

663. So I'll call you later. Oh, for cosmos!

664. Yeah. Okay.

665. Hi. Um, Chuck bass had to leave,

666. but the woman he called you about is inside.

667. I can take you. Serena Van Der Woodsen?

668. Yeah, yeah. That's right. You're under arrest.

669. What? Wait. No, no, no. There—there's been a mistake.

670. It's poppy lifton that— what is taking so long? Serena, t—

671. Blair. Blair, tell them. Oh, my god!

672. What are you doing? You have the wrong girl!

673. I don't think so.

674. Hey. What's going on? Why are they taking Serena?

675. Serena, it's okay. We'll f—we'll figure it out. Excuse me, sir?

676. Blair, call Chuck. Call Chuck. Serena, it's okay.

677. Blair, what's going— your plan was a rousing success.

678. So they arrested her?

679. If by "her," you mean Serena, the answer is yes.

680. Wait. I don't understand.

681. Why would they arrest Serena? You should know.

682. Pretending to find Jesus to take us all down—

683. it borders on brilliant. What are you talking about? I...

684. Where's poppy? I gave her the camp's Bible money.

685. Oh, nice touch.

686. But you texted me "all set,"

687. and—and poppy was asking me for a down payment,

688. and all i had was the money my camp gave me to buy bibles.

689. You expect me to believe that after all you've done?

690. Your stupid clothes and your Bible quotes don't fool anyone.

691. You're evil.

692. I know it, you know it,

693. and god knows it, too.

694. But i didn't do anything wrong.

695. I will never forgive you for what you've done

696. and neither will Jesus.

697. Rufus, i hope you weren't waiting too long.

698. What's this?

699. Where did you find that?

700. It's a list of Gabriel's investors.

701. Oh, what beautiful lilies.

702. With bags of money matching each of their investments?

703. - What's going on here, Lily?

704. Well, if you must know,

705. the investment didn't work out, so I'm simply taking care

706. of getting everyone's money back to them.

707. How about your different plan for me?

708. Rufus, this really isn't a big deal.

709. You were planning on giving me money every month

710. behind my back. Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?

711. Well, i wasn't trying to humiliate you.

712. Well, you should.

713. Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you agonize

714. over not being able to send Dan to Yale

715. when i could very easily help you, if you would just let me?

716. You are not putting this on me.

717. I have raised my kids just fine without your help.

718. Um, I'm sorry. I have to take this.

719. I don't understand.

720. You were supposed to arrest poppy lifton.

721. We have her on tape committing fraud.

722. Fraud? - Yes.

723. Thank you. I-i don't understand

724. what you thought you were arresting me for.

725. Theft.

726. What? No. No, i-i didn't steal that.

727. That was my great grandmother's.

728. You can call my mother, Lily bass.

729. She will tell you. This is a huge mistake. - Lily bass?

730. Yes. - She called it in.

731. Thank you, detective. I'll be down in a bit.

732. What was that?

733. Um, Serena's in a little trouble again.

734. Is she okay? - She's been arrested.

735. Oh, no. W—come on. I'll go with you.

736. No, uh, I'm not going just yet.

737. I'm sorry. I don't think i understand— i had her arrested.

738. Look, i know how that sounds, but i had no choice.

739. This coming from the same woman who wouldn't even let me

740. put Jenny in the back of a squad car? I am not a monster, Rufus.

741. I'm not gonna let her sit and rot behind bars,

742. but i needed to remove her from the situation

743. Yes, so that i could drop the charges, and in a few weeks,

744. everyone would forget that it ever happened. Are you hearing yourself?

745. I asked her to stop, and she purposefully disobeyed me.

746. Look...

747. This was the only way that i could protect her.

748. From what, lil?

749. From creating a scandal,

750. from ruining her future

751. and everything that she's worked for,

752. embarrassing me...

753. You just sounded exactly like your mother.

754. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

755. What is all of this?

756. That, um...

757. Was a big mistake.

758. Where is she?

759. She's inside, but they won't let us talk to her.

760. We'll see about that.

761. You called him?

762. Of course i did. He's her brother.

763. You have nothing to worry about with Chuck anymore.

764. Did he— did he tell you that?

765. He gave me my answer,

766. and you deserve yours.

767. I don't think we should move in together.

768. Me neither.

769. Th—

770. Then why...

771. Look, i-i just— I'm sorry.

772. I-i was—i was using the apartment

773. to force our issues,

774. and it's just—it's too big of a step. I'm sorry.

775. Well...

776. Perhaps a more suitable step

777. would be for you to ask me to prom.

778. - Hello?

779. Hello, Blair.

780. Georgina?

781. You don't sound like yourself.

782. That's funny, because i feel more like myself than ever.

783. Where are you?

784. Taking care of what you obviously couldn't.

785. I don't think Jesus would approve of that.

786. Well, you can tell Jesus

787. that the bitch is back.

788. Follow that car.

789. Oh, no. We warned you no good

790. would come from spinning a wicked web.

791. You just end up all tangled in your own lies...

792. Oh, hey. How'd it go?

793. Did she love it?

794. please, uh, return this for me.

795. and the more you twist,

796. the tighter the trap.

797. I need you to dig up what dirt you can

798. on the officers of the 55th precinct. Detective Sanders? Yes.

799. My grandfather, William Van Der bilt,

800. It's been in the family for years.

801. She couldn't have stolen it.

802. Until you're trapped in a prison of your own making.

803. Smile for the camera, s.

804. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.