Gossip Girl 2x16

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. There is one stipulation— that should you in any way

3. act inappropriately, the board has the option

4. to replace you with your legal guardian,

5. which—wouldn't you know it? Is me. I had enough trouble

6. with the idea of mom and Rufus dating,

7. but now i share a sibling with my boyfriend?

8. Maybe we weren't meant to be a family.

9. Serena, Dean berube.

10. I'd like to issue a press release

11. He said that Yale could really use a girl like Blair Waldorf.

12. Oh, b., I'm so happy for you.

13. And who am i?

14. That's a secret I'll never tell.

15. You know you love me.

16. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

17. True love and betrayal, revenge and more revenge,

18. a heroine with an impossible goal—

19. if only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side.

20. Blair Bear, you'll be late!

21. But you can keep your magic flute, amadeus.

22. All this queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale.

23. You look like a firing squad.

24. More like a welcoming committee. It's the big day.

25. It's all the color of Yale. You see?

26. That's just what i need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.

27. We know. We heard you watching "gilmore girls"

28. all night, again.

29. Oh. I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory.

30. Dorota.

31. Don't be sad. I'm not going anywhere for six months.

32. That wasn't Dorota, dear.

33. That was handsome Dan.

34. Oh!

35. Oh!

36. Look at him. Yeah, he's a gift from all of us.

37. Oh! - He's the Yale mascot, bulldog—

38. oh! - Just like you after today.

39. I don't know about the name, though.

40. We should just call him "handsome."

41. You're adorable. Yes, just don't look behind sofa.

42. No, you're a shoo-in, darling.

43. Mademoiselle. - Merci.

44. A shoo-in.

45. The personal letter that i wrote to Dean berube

46. should simply cinch it. We will celebrate your acceptance tonight at the opera

47. with champagne at all intermissions.

48. We will be so drunk. By the time someone dies, we'll just laugh.

49. Is Chuck joining us?

50. You know how he loves a good tragedy. Yes. Where is Mr. Chuck?

51. I wouldn't know, and i don't care.

52. He's as dead to me as his father is to him. More blueberries.

53. Whew! Yale day.

54. Good morning. - Mm.

55. I thought we could walk to school together for support.

56. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

57. You know, I'll—I'll end up in the right place,

58. but what if i don't get in?

59. Pfft. Forget you. What if i do and Blair doesn't?

60. Fire and—and brimstone and a lot of bitchy asides,

61. death by Dorota. Thanks. You don't have to worry either.

62. Blair's a lock. The Dean told her as much, right?

63. Yeah. Yeah, Yale is good.

64. We're good.

65. Everything will be fine.

66. You're referring to the recent not fun event,

67. uh, also known as the "you two share a brother,

68. oh, wait. No, you don't" roller coaster.

69. Not to be outdone by the tilt-a-whirl

70. called "discovering this fact has only served

71. to bringing Rufus and Lily closer than ever."

72. Look, getting into Yale will change our lives.

73. It'll give us a chance to reinvent ourselves.

74. Yeah. Yeah, and in the meantime,

75. at least our parents are keeping it on the down low.

76. Yeah. - Rufus, stop it.

77. Oh, hello.

78. I was planning on sneaking out before anyone got up,

79. Right.

80. Well, now that this is all out in the open,

81. maybe we can stop sneaking around.

82. I mean, we've had the awkward run-in, and it isn't so bad.

83. I don't know why we thought this would be so weird.

84. Let's leave now. Nice try, mom.

85. Yeah, seriously good effort.

86. So i was thinking, tonight—

87. more than four hours of sleep?

88. That, and there is a charity gala at the opera.

89. A full 12 hours then. Oh, everyone will be there.

90. It's the—it's the event of the season,

91. and I'm really feeling ready to get back to the world.

92. Aren't you worried about people seeing us together so soon?

93. The kids know. Why shouldn't the world?

94. And, uh, we might as well make our society debut in style.

95. I was just trying to get out of the opera part. I'm not a fan.

96. Well, you can become one tonight. - Mm.

97. I would say, "get a room," but yours is right above mine.

98. Please try to remember that.

99. Oh, my god.

100. No, i told you, under 18, and i want verification.

101. I don't care where you have to import them from.

102. I already ate.

103. I'll get right back to you.

104. Your bush league attempts to take me down—

105. they're getting boring. Although, i must admit,

106. having the freshman class of brearley

107. hold their annual sleepover in my hotel room—

108. that was a nice touch. By the way, don't be alarmed,

109. but, uh, our stock might take a little dip today.

110. You're obviously not cut out for the job,

111. which is why Bart never let you out of the outback.

112. You should be more careful.

113. Or what? It's my company now, kid. You saw to that.

114. Will the, uh, board and i be seeing you at the opera tonight?

115. Even though you're no longer in charge,

116. you are still the public face of the company.

117. I think it's important you display it,

118. show there's no hard feelings.

119. Maybe I'll show them they made the wrong choice instead.

120. Oh, wait. You're already doing that for me, aren't you? No matter.

121. We probably won't be seeing much of each other anyway.

122. I'll be in your father's seats,

123. and you'll be, well, somewhere else.

124. There's a new kid. That "kid" is my Shakespeare teacher, miss carr.

125. That-that's miss carr? Does she have Benjamin button syndrome?

126. Here. Let us help you.

127. It's all right. Oh, thank you, Serena. It's like holding a door

128. never occurred to anybody. No, not on the Upper East Side. These kids have probably

129. Oh, uh, this is my boyfriend, Dan Humphrey. - Hi.

130. although i-i wasn't expecting you to look so... Out of place?

131. No, i was gonna say "young." You could pass for a student. Well, i was, until recently.

132. I've been doing teach for America

133. the past two years in Alabama. This is my first salaried job.

134. I've never even been to New York before.

135. and the palace lobby is a wonderful place

136. to get away from the noise. Yeah, and, you know, if you're ever in Brooklyn,

137. See you third period. Mm-hmm.

138. Nice meeting you, Daniel. Nice meeting you, miss carr.

139. So good luck today.

140. You, too. May the best get in.

141. Mm.

142. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

143. That's not my Eli account. No, it's mine. I applied to Yale, too, remember?

144. Yes, but your application was

145. merely a formality to appease your overbearing parents.

146. You know very well

147. there's no way Yale is going to accept someone

148. who got a 2360 on her s.A.T.S,

149. so give up and go for the gold, my gold. Refresh.

150. Hey, are you going to the opera thing tonight?

151. Um, yeah. Serena's taking me.

152. Yeah? I might go, too.

153. You know, for a while, i couldn't take Vanessa

154. anywhere really nice, 'cause of the whole no money thing,

155. but i saw a DVD of the "ring" cycle at her house,

156. and i figured she might like some champagne

157. in my family's box. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD,

158. though, 'cause i-i pointed it out once,

159. and she made me watch the whole thing with no subtitles. - Wow.

160. If you've ever seen "a clockwork orange,"

161. you know how that ended up. Wait. What's "a clockwork orange"?

162. Ahem.

163. Charles, i didn't expect to see you today.

164. Or ever, if i had it my way.

165. Yes, well, i missed you, too.

166. I'm trying to do something.

167. I really wanted to do it on my own,

168. but that's not working.

169. I'm thinking you're the only person left who can help.

170. What do you say?

171. What are you guys doing? Shh. Don't talk to them. They're working.

172. Refresh.

173. Oh...

174. My... - God.

175. What? What is it?

176. I'm sorry. I...

177. I simply can't read it.

178. The font's too small. I have to check it on a real computer.

179. It says "wait-listed" in bold.

180. I got in. I did it. I got in. Oh, my gosh!

181. I can't believe it. Oh, did you? - Um...

182. No. No, no. Um, I'm wait-listed, just like Blair.

183. Well, don't worry. You'll get in.

184. We'll be together next fall. Even if you have to wait

185. another couple of months to find out for sure,

186. it's all good, or it will be.

187. Yeah, i know it will.

188. I need to see the headmistress.

189. Right now!

190. They say that it's not over till the fat lady sings.

191. But who's that i hear tuning up in the wings?

192. Sorry, b. I think it's curtains.

193. All my usual moves haven't worked. Jack is blood.

194. He thinks too much like me, sees me coming.

195. And the way he's running the business,

196. i worry everything my father had worked for will be lost.

197. Since you're part of the company now, i thought you might care.

198. I do care, Charles,

199. but my concern is for you, not the company.

200. You're living alone. Why don't you move back in here?

201. nor in assuaging your guilt over my father's death.

202. Do you believe in my cause or not?

203. I do,

204. but your shenanigans— planting coke in his gym bag,

205. ambushing him with a transsexual hooker...

206. Two. They owed me a favor.

207. Will only cast a negative light on you in the board's eyes.

208. I don't care about the board anymore.

209. You should. You need them.

210. So let me help you by handling this like a grownup.

211. My 20% stake in bass industries

212. must count for something, and when I'm done,

213. perhaps you'll reconsider your living situation.

214. Don't hold your breath.

215. Meet me here at 2:00?

216. How did this happen?

217. Dean berube said i was a perfect fit.

218. His exact words were,

219. "Yale could use a girl like Blair Waldorf."

220. Well, apparently, they found one somewhere else.

221. Calm yourself.

222. When i spoke to Dean berube this morning,

223. he assured me that if the student they've accepted

224. turns them down, you are next in line.

225. Dan Humphrey?

226. He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery.

227. You couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands

228. with the jaws of life. I wasn't speaking about Mr. Humphrey.

229. Someone from constance got in?

230. Blair, in our school's history, most wait-listed students

231. ultimately get into the college of their choice.

232. Your transcript is a series of unblemished a's.

233. All you have to do is keep up your g.P.A., and you'll get in.

234. I know that Patience and trust

235. aren't necessarily your strong suits,

236. but you'll just have to rise to the occasion, hmm?

237. Thank you. I'm sure i can do that.

238. Just tell me who got in.

239. You got in? Congratulations.

240. Oh, shh. Don't say it too loud. I haven't told anyone yet,

241. not even Dan, especially not Blair.

242. Well, why not? - Oh, i-i couldn't.

243. She was wait-listed. It would have been a disaster.

244. A word of unsolicited advice—

245. it sounds like you're worrying about other people

246. when this is a decision about you.

247. Do you want Yale?

248. Do you know you're the first person

249. that's ever asked me that?

250. The truth is, i don't—i don't know.

251. The whole reason i went there in the first place

252. was because of Blair, and then i applied because of Dan.

253. Honestly, i think Yale

254. might be accepting me for the wrong reasons.

255. I would never advise anyone to turn down a great opportunity,

256. but going to the right school for you

257. is the most important thing.

258. Serena, did you hear someone from constance got in?

259. I bet it's that little Nelly.

260. When i find her, she's not gonna know—hello.

261. Blair, i missed you first period.

262. I had a meeting.

263. You also missed getting this back.

264. I'll talk to you later, Serena.

265. Bye. Well, if you're on a witch hunt,

266. that means you can't be too upset, right?

267. Witch hunts are my valium, Serena.

268. I'm just trying to stay calm.

269. What about you?

270. I have to say, I'm totally surprised Yale passed up

271. the p.R. Of accepting "it" girl Serena Van Der Woodsen.

272. They have more class than i thought.

273. Well, like you pointed out, they didn't want me for me.

274. Dan must be pissed.

275. His hope of arriving on campus with cachet

276. has been shot to hell. Now he'll just be lumped in

277. with the rest of the financial aid-iots and poets.

278. Oh, my god.

279. What?

280. I have to go.

281. Hello? Miss Van Der Woodsen,

282. this is Shirley from Dean berube's office.

283. The Dean would love to issue a press release

284. that you'll be joining Yale's freshman class in the fall,

285. assuming you're accepting.

286. Would you mind? Miss Van Der Woodsen?

287. Um, i-i-I'm gonna have to call you back.

288. Charles has left us no choice.

289. We wish you had been left in charge of the company,

290. of course, but that's not how it laid out.

291. Well, surely there must be something. Jack is Charles' guardian,

292. and the contract clearly states that his guardian has control.

293. Short of being able to prove he's completely negligent,

294. all we can do is our best to temper his actions.

295. Aw!

296. Minority shareholders' meeting.

297. We were just finishing up.

298. See you soon, i hope, Lilian?

299. Yes, Peter, I'd like that.

300. Had i known my own personal mata hari was going to be here,

301. i would have come sooner. Yes, well, i was just being brought up to date

302. on your progress or lack thereof. I'll right myself eventually.

303. I just have to get my legs under me.

304. Maybe the two of us could come together in some way,

305. help me find my strength... Or use it all up.

306. What's that for? - Your nose. You don't seem so worried

307. about the same morality clause that cost Charles this company.

308. They won't touch me.

309. Although i may not be doing a bang-up job yet,

310. it beats having a woman of your reputation at the helm.

311. This is a "b."

312. Yes, it is.

313. You're new here, so you don't know how it works.

314. like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts.

315. Constance wants their students to get into the best colleges.

316. That's why this free pass exists.

317. The headmistress— if she knew about this grade—

318. she'd rap you on the wrist.

319. Maybe in time, I'll get in trouble

320. for not inflating grades like everyone else, miss Waldorf,

321. but until then, I'll give them based on merit.

322. I need to keep my g.P.A. Perfect to get into Yale.

323. You should have thought of that before.

324. What's wrong? - I think i might have just lost Yale.

325. What am i gonna do?

326. I didn't apply anywhere else.

327. Just hold on a second.

328. There's a phone call i have to return.

329. The bastard is untouchable.

330. Well, what should we do? Time to get dirty. I'm all ears.

331. Let me educate you.

332. Did you really try to buy Anthrax with his credit card?

333. The black market isn't what it used to be.

334. And you got him on Megan's list?

335. If only his apartment were a few blocks closer to a playground.

336. Look, i understand why you're trying to do these things,

337. but we have got to do something that is not illegal.

338. I've put calls in

339. to Jack's business associates in Australia.

340. He's not the most upstanding citizen.

341. I'm sure we will find something.

342. You know, i, um, i thought i lost you the day of the funeral,

343. and, um, I'm sorry

344. that Jack's the one to bring us back together,

345. but I'm glad that we're doing this.

346. If your people don't come up with anything,

347. maybe we could try number 26.

348. "Crash Jack in plane."

349. The bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.

350. There's insurance.

351. Hello?

352. Yes. Yeah, that would be fine.

353. I can't really talk right now.

354. Yes, the, uh, the opera has an early curtain.

355. Rufus, stop it.

356. Okay, okay. I'll see you then.

357. Bye.

358. I can't believe you. You're actually going

359. to take your half-price hustler out on the town tonight.

360. I thought we were putting this behind us, Charles.

361. I'm here to help you.

362. And what part of you dating someone else

363. a month after my father's death is helping me?

364. You say you want to be family, but if you really meant it,

365. you wouldn't parade your mistress in public.

366. You'd have some tact,

367. some respect.

368. This isn't about your father, Charles.

369. I should have known from your history i couldn't count on you.

370. You think of yourself.

371. Your kids and my dead father are proof of that.

372. (Dan) Hey, Serena.

373. Hey.

374. Hey, i was thinking maybe we could go to Yale this weekend,

375. get some hope into you. She's going down.

376. Yes, she's gonna go.

377. Would you excuse me for a second? Not really.

378. I know that look. You're up to no good. Good is subjective,

379. A new teacher's like a child. It has to be taught. And spanked.

380. And i can't risk not getting into Yale,

381. so it's open season on miss Iowa.

382. I wasn't supposed to say anything,

383. but you—you are going to Yale. You got in, an early admission. What?

384. How do you know that?

385. Because i declined my acceptance. You're next in line.

386. They're gonna call you in a couple hours. Whoa. You—you got in?

387. You're the constance student?

388. Cancel the Nelly yuki project now!

389. S., why would you turn down Yale?

390. And don't say for me, because even i wouldn't believe you.

391. Yeah, why—why would you do that?

392. I'm—I'm sorry. I-i wanted to tell you.

393. You don't want to go?

394. No. No, i don't.

395. No, please. I'll—I'll see you later.

396. So—so you're not gonna go after Rachel now, right?

397. What would be the point?

398. Okay, okay. Hey, so the reason i asked you to come down

399. is because— - no, wait, wait, wait. Me first.

400. Okay. - Okay, ever since you got your money back,

401. you've been taking me to do all these Archibald-y things,

402. which i love. I just can't keep up.

403. So i decided to do something for us.

404. We're going to the opera tonight.

405. Wow. That is fantastic.

406. They're nosebleed seats, but at least they're something,

407. and i got them. So what did you bring me up here for anyway?

408. Well, there's no reason. I just wanted to see you.

409. Oh!

410. And then the—the queen of the night

411. sings this kick-ass Aria,

412. "der holle rache kocht in meinem herzen,"

413. "the vengeance of hell boils in my heart."

414. Lovely. - It is.

415. It reaches a high "f"--that— that never happens in operas.

416. You know, that's a good fact.

417. You should talk about it at intermission.

418. You're gonna love "the magic flute." It's, uh, well, it's... It's okay. You can say it.

419. Opera for amateurs.

420. If anybody asks you what you thought, just tell 'em,

421. "ist war wunderschien. Danke. Und sie?"

422. That's what Klaus always used to say.

423. Well, that and—and "geh zum teufel,"

424. but, um, whatever you do, don't—don't say that. Okay, this is ridiculous.

425. Only 'cause you're letting it. No, he's right. In our world, people say one thing,

426. but they expect something else. If you can hold your own,

427. it'll go a long way with my mom and her friends.

428. Everyone can geh zum teufel. I just want to do right by her.

429. Let's talk "singspiel," shall we? - "Singspiel."

430. The devil would say,

431. "you're already in Yale. You have security.

432. Now more than ever, you can do what you want."

433. And an angel would say,

434. "all the more reason not to. You have what you want."

435. You don't have a perfect transcript.

436. But you don't need one. You're in.

437. Ugh! I hate having to play the angel.

438. I know. The devil is so much better.

439. So, b., who won?

440. Gimme.

441. Hello. Miss carr? It's Blair Waldorf.

442. How did you get my number? I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier.

443. I was hoping you'd afford me the chance to move past it. I'd like that, too,

444. but couldn't this have waited till we saw each other again?

445. That's precisely why I'm calling.

446. Did you know the school has a block of tickets

447. to the opera tonight? To the opera? No, i didn't know that.

448. Oh, yes. It's a gala event, and my family,

449. who's heard all about you, asked if you could come to dinner

450. and then join us in our grand tier seats afterwards.

451. I don't think that's such a good idea in light of today

452. or at all. - Nonsense. We have an extra ticket.

453. You're not gonna let our little disagreement

454. stand in the way of the opera?

455. I-i have always wanted to go.

456. Do you have a pen handy?

457. Yeah.

458. Spotted—b. Hot for teacher.

459. Too bad miss carr

460. doesn't remember the devil is in the details.

461. What do you say the boathouse in central park?

462. We meet at 6:30 and walk over for curtain at 8:00.

463. Thank you. Sounds wonderful.

464. Yes. Yes, it does.

465. Uh-huh!

466. So if you get into Yale...

467. Yeah. And you go to brown—you did still apply there, right?

468. Yeah. That means two trips for us.

469. Or one. We could go to Providence first,

470. and then hit new haven on the way back. - And stop

471. at the Newport creamery on the way down for milkshakes.

472. Oh! Oh, my gosh, we could take a week. We could take our time.

473. New england is so lovely in the fall.

474. We could bring Jenny and Eric.

475. That sounds great. I can't wait.

476. box two. Uh, row two. Two for you.

477. Thanks.

478. You know what? Uh, if you'll excuse me?

479. Uh, no, thank you.

480. Uh... am i glad to see you.

481. Serena and i had to meet up with our parents before we got here,

482. and it went from "family ties" to faulkner...

483. Ooh. - In one cocktail flat.

484. Uh, hey, you excited about your box?

485. My what? Oh, hey, we're on the third tier, actually. Yeah.

486. It's, um, a better view and straight on.

487. Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, third tier's awesome.

488. Yep.

489. What's going on here? Nothing. Nothing's going on.

490. Okay, so there might be some other seats

491. available to us.

492. Lily. Didn't know you'd be here.

493. Who's your lucky escort this evening?

494. Someone you picked up at the funeral?

495. Mm, this is Rufus Humphrey, the man I'm seeing.

496. Mm. You remember Pauletta Cho?

497. She's head of publicity for my company. - Our company.

498. Yes, hi. It's nice to see you, Pauletta.

499. But your choice of companion? Not so nice.

500. I'm here to keep an eye on him more than anything else.

501. Hope you both enjoy the show.

502. And if not, you can ponder why

503. you thought coming here together was a good idea.

504. Enjoy "Tristan und isolde."

505. Okay.

506. This isn't "the magic flute"? Oh, no.

507. That opera ended weeks ago, and it's mainly for kids.

508. Ah, kids. You gotta love 'em. Yeah.

509. They do such great things, like misread the opera calendar.

510. Bruce, hello.

511. Hey, my condolences about Bart. I-i haven't wanted to call.

512. I-i didn't want to be a bother in your—your time of grief.

513. Uh, well, now that you're here, what do you want me to do

514. about those, uh, documents I'd been working on?

515. Um... could you wait here for just a moment?

516. What's going on? I just need to talk to Charles.

517. Um, you two can just talk about opera while I'm gone.

518. The answer is so simple. How could i have forgotten it?

519. Any chance you could try and forget me?

520. Just meet me back here in 15 minutes.

521. And if you don't like what i suggest,

522. i won't bother you again. You have my word.

523. You don't have any binoculars, do you?

524. Oh, or how about those cool little spy glasses?

525. Or a telescope.

526. All right, i get it. You want to go to the stupid box.

527. Not if you don't want to.

528. Once the show starts, I'm sure it'll be great from up here. Yeah.

529. Candy, dear?

530. Mnh-mnh.

531. You know, it's not that

532. you don't want to go to the same college as me.

533. It's not? - No. A lot of couples go to different schools.

534. But, you know, for months,

535. you acted like going to Yale together was what you wanted.

536. Well, i didn't figure it out until today.

537. And brown is just a better fit for me, Dan.

538. Well, and what about us? I mean, do we still "fit"?

539. Well, it's—it's not like we have to decide anything now.

540. We can just— - what? We can go on having you make choices

541. that affect both of our lives without you talking to me?

542. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

543. I was just— i was so happy about Yale.

544. If we went together, you know,

545. we'd get four years away

546. from—from everything and from...

547. Everyone.

548. But it looks like our lives are gonna follow us to college,

549. wherever we go. - And what if our parents stay together?

550. What happens then? More uncomfortable dinners?

551. Adjoining rooms on family vacations?

552. Pretending not to hear what we hear

553. in the middle of the night?

554. I mean, who knows how long that's gonna last for? Well, you know,

555. i think we'll just have to compartmentalize everything.

556. The—the two of them will be its own thing

557. that we'll put in a box and just keep away somewhere.

558. Things don't just go in boxes. They go all together.

559. No, they don't.

560. No, they—they go in boxes with really tight lids

561. that you bury deep in holes at the bottom of the ocean.

562. Okay.

563. Providence is just a train ride from new haven.

564. I think we're just gonna have to try and push through

565. the next couple of months.

566. Yes.

567. And knowing them, it—it won't last, right?

568. I mean, it can't.

569. It could never.

570. I, uh, studied the wrong opera.

571. I wanted to impress you and your friends,

572. and prove that i could exist in both your world and mine.

573. Oh, Rufus. I don't care what anyone thinks.

574. You exist in our world, and it's the only world that matters.

575. Thanks for trying.

576. Oh. Oh, god. Where are the boxes with the lids?

577. Ahem. - Oh!

578. Oh. Um...

579. Why don't you guys head, um, up to our seats?

580. I—there's something i have to handle first.

581. Okay. Yeah.

582. (Dan) Right behind you.

583. Here we go.

584. And, uh...

585. Darling, turn off your phone.

586. Remember the Kevin kline incident?

587. Hello, headmistress queller.

588. Blair, I'm sorry to call you after hours,

589. but Ms. carr told me how upset you were about your grade.

590. She did? - I confirmed with her

591. that so long as the rest of your grades

592. were up to your usual high standard,

593. that you would still end the course with an "a."

594. It was sweet of Ms. carr to be so concerned.

595. She's a good asset to the school.

596. I think she cares about her students.

597. She cares about their futures. Have a good weekend. Thank you.

598. I'm sorry, but i have to go.

599. The opera's about to begin.

600. It can wait. I have to fix something.

601. Who's this? - Bruce caplan. I'm your father's family lawyer.

602. Before he died,

603. your dad was going to legally adopt Serena and Eric.

604. And i was going to legally adopt you.

605. We were serious about becoming a real family,

606. and we'd had the papers drawn, and your father had signed them.

607. I just didn't get to it in time. - Your stepmother asked me

608. to have these faxed over to the box office.

609. So if you adopt me... Then I'm your guardian.

610. Give me a pen.

611. Just to be clear, this doesn't make us family, just even.

612. What do you think you're doing?

613. You can't sign anything without my consent.

614. Not anymore.

615. I'm sending you back where you belong.

616. You just lost the company.

617. Sticks and stones may break bones,

618. but a poison pen is the best revenge.

619. I was just coming to find you.

620. Inviting me to a closed restaurant for dinner?

621. Telling me the curtain is 8:00 and not 7:00?

622. I just wanted to teach you a lesson,

623. so you knew who was in charge around here.

624. That's not the way it works. I'm the teacher, not you.

625. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home.

626. I was on my way to find you and apologize. "On your way" an hour later?

627. I feel terrible. I do.

628. And...

629. As much as i wish i wasn't, I'm still learning.

630. It's like you not inflating your grades.

631. I can't not act out against people.

632. But I'm trying.

633. So... Please forgive me.

634. I accept your apology.

635. Come. Let's see if we can find you another ticket.

636. I'm actually quite tired.

637. I'll just see you Monday?

638. Yes, of course.

639. Thank you again.

640. Headmistress? - Rachel?

641. I'm sorry to bother you.

642. I just need to talk to you about something.

643. I hate losing.

644. You didn't lose. - Mm-hmm.

645. You just admitted defeat.

646. You know what's great about a box? - Hmm?

647. When the opera gets boring...

648. what do you think you're doing?

649. I should ask you the same thing.

650. It's what Bart wanted. I'm sorry.

651. So you say. I'm not so sure.

652. I'm not scared of you, Jack. - You should be.

653. You're high and you're not thinking clearly.

654. You need to think

655. about the repercussions of what you're doing.

656. I don't think i do.

657. I just had a full conversation with this opera-goer

658. about "the magic flute."

659. And he pretended like that was exactly what he just watched.

660. I'm beginning to get these society people.

661. It's all a big game

662. of pretending like you know what you're talking about. Mm.

663. Where's Lily? I don't know. I haven't seen her all intermission.

664. Keep an eye out for her, huh? All right.

665. Chuck.

666. As much as i hate to ask you anything, have you seen Lily?

667. My dad's looking for her.

668. She said she was going to the powder room.

669. But that was a while ago.

670. what's going on here?

671. What are you doing?

672. Why is this door locked?

673. You think you can squeeze me out, take away my power?

674. I worked for this! I earned it!

675. Jack, it's over.

676. Uhh!

677. Stop it! You can't do this! Get off me!

678. I can't? Who in this town wouldn't believe that the whore

679. didn't ask for it? - Stop! Please!

680. Hey! Get off her!

681. You stupid kid.

682. oh, Rufus! - Oh, my god. Lily!

683. Come on.

684. Get off of me!

685. Oh, my god. Thank you.

686. my hair is terrible. I mean, not since '91.

687. If you care about your hair,

688. you're more a part of my world than ever.

689. You sure you're okay?

690. Yes. Yes, i am.

691. I'll see you later.

692. I heard from the board that Jack is on his way back to Sydney.

693. You didn't press charges.

694. No, i just wanted him gone.

695. But now I'm the, uh, interim head of bass industries,

696. believe it or not. - Is that why you called me here?

697. What you did for me last night— - Lily...

698. It's okay. You don't have to feel the same way.

699. But i do have faith that when you're ready,

700. you will do wonders

701. with bass industries.

702. What are you talking about?

703. On your 18th birthday, i want you to have everything.

704. I don't want this job or the corporate jet

705. or anything related to this business.

706. Just you,

707. as a part of my family.

708. Um...

709. Look...

710. I know what happened to my father was an accident.

711. It was a terrible accident.

712. And, um...

713. If the offer still stands...

714. I'd like to move back in.

715. I would love that.

716. The thing about new beginnings

717. is that they require something else to end.

718. Hey! I'm just on my way out.

719. Miss Blair, we must go or we be late.

720. The headmistress asked if i could come meet her at school.

721. I figured she wants to have tea

722. like we did when i first applied to Yale.

723. What are you doing? I'm just reading the brown catalogue.

724. Oh, and i ordered a home dreadlocking kit.

725. - Wanna meet up later?

726. Definitely. Maybe we can get a jump start on your veganism.

727. Have some celebratory seitan at Angelica kitchen?

728. Mm, i can't think of anything better...

729. Or grosser.

730. I'll call you after.

731. Okay.

732. Some endings take a long time to reveal themselves.

733. But when they do, they're almost too easy to ignore.

734. Hey, Ms. carr. What are you doing here?

735. Rachel.

736. And I'm taking your advice to come out to Brooklyn sometime.

737. Can i—can i get you anything? I make a mean cappuccino.

738. Well, all i have to do is press "start," but i like to pretend. That sounds great. Yeah.

739. Here, sit.

740. Some beginnings start so quietly,

741. You've made it out to a borough.

742. Like anything else, you just have to make it work for you.

743. But most endings come when you least expect them,

744. and what they portend

745. is darker than you've ever imagined.

746. I called you here this morning

747. because Ms. carr told me what you did.

748. You leave me no choice but to give you detention.

749. Yale has been notified.

750. Your acceptance has been placed on hold.

751. If you complete detention to my satisfaction,

752. Yale will still be possible.

753. But if you do not...

754. put that puppy down, Dorota.

755. What happened, miss Blair?

756. it's what's going to happen that you should be worried about.

757. Not all beginnings are cause for celebration.

758. A lot of bad things begin— fight, flu season,

759. and the worst thing of all...

760. Uh-oh. Is it war?

761. Yes.

762. But this one will be different.

763. I need to wait for my moment, and then I'm going black ops—

764. off the radar, no accountability.

765. This war, I'm gonna win.

766. Wanna be starting somethin'.

767. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.