Gossip Girl 2x10

1. Gossip girl here—

2. your one and only source into the scandalous lives

3. of Manhattan's elite. Blair, ever since you walked into the gallery last week,

4. i haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

5. Is it too weird to think that maybe fate brought us

6. back together again? I was up all night finishing the story for Noah shapiro.

7. The guy from "the Paris review"? Which story? - The one about Chuck bass.

8. You should do your own clothing line.

9. I can model them. Max will do some photos.

10. If you think you're getting away with this, you are dead wrong.

11. It's too late. It's done.

12. And who am i?

13. That's a secret I'll never tell.

14. You know you love me.

15. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

16. You're in for a real treat, son.

17. I even amazed myself with this bolognese.

18. I'm amazed at how calm you're acting.

19. Your 15-year-old daughter's moved in

20. with her crazy model friend. And with the model's mother, whom i met today for lunch.

21. Granted, Agnes' mother's more Courtney love than June cleaver,

22. but she's a committed parent,

23. and she's gone through similar phases with Agnes.

24. She promises to call every day, so Jenny's safe.

25. You're gonna act like you're cool with it

26. so she chooses to come home instead of being forced.

27. Well, that's, uh, that's risky, but i like it. I hope it works.

28. Yeah.

29. So you ready for the best sauce ever? Uh, you know, actually,

30. i can't stay. I'm gonna meet shapiro, and i know you don't

31. agree with me writing a story about Chuck and his mother—

32. i don't believe in using other people to get what you want. Well, shapiro loved the story.

33. He's writing me the recommendation for Yale. Congratulations.

34. I'm happy for ya.

35. I'm happy for you and your sister both.

36. Well, I'm glad you're a musician

37. and not an actor, dad, 'cause our family would have starved.

38. Save me some cold pasta?

39. I'll leave it on the stove for you.

40. All right.

41. Though it seems like just yesterday

42. Serena and i were 8 and playing dress-up

43. in my mother's vintage manolos,

44. my 18th birthday has finally arrived.

45. The party needs to be perfect, so blood orange Martinis

46. or beluga and Belvedere? Why don't we make different drinks tonight

47. and do a taste test? Oh, i can't. I'm meeting my mother's new boyfriend.

48. Even moms have boyfriends, and i don't.

49. Cyrus has been one of my mom's attorneys since the divorce.

50. He asked her out when they first met,

51. but she didn't wanna mix business with pleasure.

52. Finally, his amorous overtures wore her down,

53. and she agreed to dinner. She's been smitten ever since.

54. Oh, that's so romantic.

55. One thing my mom has is good taste in men.

56. Maybe a dashing stepdad is just what i need.

57. Speaking of good taste in men, how's the sexy artist, Serena?

58. Oh, uh, Aaron's amazing.

59. He's been sending me these maps to the most beautiful places.

60. The other day i ended up in a private room in the cloisters

61. overlooking the gardens. Spare them the details, Serena.

62. Hazel will kill herself from envy.

63. Oh, this is him again. I gotta go.

64. What? What about my party?

65. Blood orange Martinis all the way.

66. You girls have been getting a lot of press.

67. You got talent. Who's the designer? It's me.

68. And I'm the face of the line

69. and the brains behind the operation.

70. Who do you imagine your client will be? Girls like us.

71. Sophisticated girls with a bit of edge who can afford

72. high-end product, and i know these girls and their style

73. because I'm their peer, so that's what makes me unique

74. as a designer. Hmm. What's the name of the label?

75. ViXen dresses, inc. J. Humphrey designs. We haven't fully decided yet,

76. clearly, but, uh, it really doesn't matter,

77. 'cause we're just here to take the work to the next level.

78. Definitely, which means finding a clear vision for the brand.

79. Which since fashion is a designer-based industry,

80. and I'm a designer, that brand would be me.

81. No, the brand is the concept, which we both came up with. Agnes, can we just talk

82. about this later when we're alone, please?

83. No, we're gonna talk about this now.

84. I mean, if Mr. Smith here wants to represent us,

85. then he should know who he's dealing with. Except Mr. Smith

86. might get the wrong idea about our professionalism. Well, then cut the crap

87. and start acting professional

88. instead of putting on the Jenny show.

89. Me? Agnes, look at who's acting out yet again

90. in another business meeting. You wanna see acting out?

91. And yet another one bites the dust, Agnes.

92. What is the matter with you? This guy was our last chance.

93. Okay, he totally overreacted. I mean, we're artists.

94. We need to work with somebody who's not gonna be freaked out

95. by a little bit of passion. Passion? You know the heat from the fashion show's

96. not gonna last that long. Okay, Jenny,

97. i will find us another business manager tomorrow.

98. Good, because until we get one, we can't meet with any buyers.

99. Yes. Okay? Now it's all gonna work out, all right?

100. And I'm on it.

101. Dorota. - Dorota!

102. Hurry up. Cyrus will be here any minute.

103. He is the most attractive, brilliant man i have ever met.

104. Darling, you're gonna love him.

105. I kind of already do. I'm so excited to meet him.

106. I told you to put the roses on the table next to Cyrus' seat.

107. Cary Grant always looked his best with white roses.

108. Dorota, are you insane?

109. I don't know.

110. You used the everyday China.

111. Cyrus will think we're just common upper middle class.

112. Go get the objet, and hurry up.

113. Yes, miss Blair. Ah, Eleanor, you look like a goddess.

114. That must be his driver. And you're more handsome than ever.

115. Oh. Mmm.

116. Not enough!

117. Darling, come meet Cyrus rose.

118. The lovely Blair.

119. Come here!

120. Not enough!

121. Happy 20th anniversary for bass industries.

122. Surprised you remembered.

123. Not only did i remember, i got you something.

124. You once told me that you snuck

125. into hockey games as a kid, sat in the back row.

126. You bought a box for the season?

127. I thought you could revisit your childhood passion in style.

128. We can go to rangers games together, hang out.

129. Well, nice gesture, but, uh, misguided as usual.

130. I don't have time for hockey games. You know that.

131. I always knew you had chops, Humphrey.

132. Here's your letter. Have a seat.

133. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much.

134. Don't thank me yet. There's more to come.

135. Meet James wolf, senior editor at "New York magazine."

136. Oh, it's nice to meet you. Shapiro took the Liberty of showing me your piece.

137. I'm very interested.

138. Oh, well, I'm, uh, I'm flattered.

139. "New York magazine" doesn't normally publish fiction.

140. It's not really fiction, though, is it?

141. I told James the trout character

142. is based on Chuck bass, son of Bartholomew.

143. It's the 20th anniversary of bass industries.

144. We want an exposé on the man behind the company.

145. You dated the stepdaughter. You know the son.

146. Yeah, look, the last thing i need is Bart bass as an enemy.

147. Yeah, and I'm really not the undercover type.

148. If you're afraid of the man's wrath,

149. we won't print your name, but if your reporting's

150. If i milk him for information and you print it,

151. he's—he's gonna know it came from me.

152. We'll only print something if it's true and can be verified.

153. If the man's clean, the story goes away.

154. If he's not, well, that's on him, isn't it?

155. You just grew a pair, Humphrey.

156. Don't lose them now.

157. This opportunity could open real doors for you.

158. What? How did you do that? I mean, it's amazing, but why?

159. Well, you know, I've shown you

160. the most beautiful places i know,

161. and now I'm showing the beautiful places you.

162. This is nothing, though. I want you to pose for me.

163. Will you?

164. Sure, i-i guess.

165. Yes! Yes.

166. I can't believe this.

167. spotted—s. And a. Bringing sexy back to Times Square.

168. Move over, Disney.

169. 42nd street is steaming up.

170. Serena, i called you, like, ten times last night.

171. Where have you been? I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday

172. i met Aaron in Times Square.

173. when your best friend's having a meltdown?

174. He's totally unsuitable. - Who is?

175. Cyrus. He's 5 feet tall.

176. He has a catchphrase, and he's a hugger.

177. I was expecting Cary Grant, and i got Danny devito.

178. That sounds, um... awful.

179. Um, sorry. I gotta run. Oh, Aaron?

180. Yeah. He asked me to pose for him in his studio,

181. to be his muse.

182. And you said yes? Why not? It's romantic.

183. No, it's a death trap. Being the muse never works out.

184. Plenty of women have been both lover and muse

185. to famous artists, like Picasso.

186. Serena, a guy starts out in his blue period,

187. and everything's great, but it's only a matter of time

188. before he's all into cubism,

189. and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead. Okay, I'm gonna go.

190. Wait! No, what about the gnome? I have to take him down.

191. B., enough already. You always said you wanted to be

192. an elegant woman at 18 like grace Kelly.

193. You're right.

194. I'm going to be an adult. I'll try and tolerate him.

195. Good girl.

196. Well, this has been great.

197. Mr. bass, thank you for answering my questions.

198. Anything for a friend of Serena's. As i mentioned, I'm just—

199. I'm kinda over the writing thing,

200. and i wanna see what else is out there.

201. Um, you're easily the most successful person i know,

202. so i figured why not at the top, right?

203. Yeah, i was hoping that i might be able to shadow you

204. for just a few days a week after school. I'm a busy man, Daniel.

205. I don't think that's gonna be possible.

206. Yeah, of course. I don't want to impose.

207. It's just, um... You know, uh...

208. Well, my dad— his world is pretty narrow.

209. You know? He may have had a hit song in the '90s,

210. but he didn't build half the Manhattan skyline.

211. Your father's a fine man, but, um,

212. i can see how you'd want something more.

213. Why don't we start with two days a week?

214. That's, uh, that's more than enough. Thank you.

215. Agnes, it's 3:00. I have been waiting up for you

216. at the apartment since 8:00 this morning.

217. Will you lower your voice?

218. Your high-pitched shrill is not helping my pounding head.

219. Excuse me? Um, waitress, can i get, um, a revive? Thank you.

220. Where the hell were you? I went out with Max last night,

221. and then we ran into some friends,

222. and it was really good. You should have come.

223. Then you should have answered your phone

224. or at least turned it on

225. so that you could hear the 50 messages i left you. What are you, my mother?

226. No, Agnes, i am your partner! And you promised

227. that you'd find us a new business manager today.

228. And i will do it on Monday or today,

229. if my hangover ever wears off. Do you understand how much I've given up for this?

230. Yes.

231. No, Agnes, you don't.

232. I left home.

233. I quit my job,

234. and my dad— he basically hates me.

235. You need to chill.

236. Take a Xanax or a Tequila shot or something.

237. Hi. This is Jenny Humphrey. I'm calling for Scott Smith.

238. Yeah, i know. I met with him yesterday.

239. Well, again, thank you for your time.

240. It's been a pleasure, Dan. Listen, do you like hockey?

241. Uh, sure, yeah. I was thinking maybe i could give you a business primer

242. over a ranger game Tuesday night.

243. Chuck, what are you doing here?

244. I'm sorry, sir. I told him you were in a meeting.

245. I came by to have Robert clear your schedule for the game.

246. Apparently you already have a date.

247. What are you doing here?

248. Well, I'm, uh, I'm newly interested

249. in the construction business. I thought—

250. i thought your dad could show me the ropes.

251. I was just leaving. Thank you, Mr. bass.

252. $18 a flower? That's absurd.

253. Yeah, yeah, it, uh, it is a bit steep.

254. Yeah. I'm an attorney, and I'm telling you,

255. you're not paying for that peony.

256. You're paying for the florist's Madison Avenue rent.

257. I am grace Kelly. Grace Kelly is me.

258. Blair, i would love

259. to fill this whole penthouse with peonies for you

260. for your birthday, but would you allow me

261. to buy them someplace else?

262. I mean, it's the principle of the thing.

263. I prefer to get my own peonies from my own florist,

264. but thank you so much.

265. Well, Eleanor, over dinner,

266. you mentioned your fondness for cyndi lauper.

267. Mom and i love cyndi lauper.

268. We used to re-enact "girls just want to have fun."

269. Our first DVD was "vibes." Oh!

270. Well, i got tickets to see cyndi lauper at Joe's pub

271. tomorrow night, and that way, your mother and i

272. What? You never want me at your parties. This year is different.

273. I'm 18, and it's a grown-up party.

274. I e-mailed Dorota a new guest list.

275. Parents are invited. Well, we'll return the tickets.

276. No, nonsense, nonsense. Blair and i will celebrate

277. her birthday on her real birthday next week.

278. We are going to see cyndi lauper!

279. Aah!

280. Mmm!

281. Thank you so much for giving me another chance.

282. My, uh, ex-partner had some issues,

283. so I've completely severed all ties with her. I'm glad to hear it.

284. I'd be delighted to work with you alone. - Really?

285. That's amazing. I'm sure we can get started on the incorporation right away.

286. Uh, you are 18, aren't you?

287. Actually, no, I'm 15.

288. That's not a problem, though, is it? No, no, not at all.

289. We just have to get the papers signed by a parent,

290. uh, but that's simple, and then we're good to go. Awesome. Yeah, no problem.

291. Uh, you can stand right here.

292. Okay.

293. Thank you.

294. You're welcome.

295. So... um, tell me, uh, when you're ready.

296. I've been practicing my poses.

297. Okay, zoolander. Just give me a second.

298. So—so what is it that you want?

299. You want, like, a little bit of this?

300. Or, like, you know, some of this?

301. I don't know.

302. Uh... how about, um, how about a little less?

303. You know, uh, try being still. Try... nothing.

304. Okay.

305. Um... you can try that.

306. I don't know what to do.

307. Can you say something?

308. Okay, okay. Put your head up here.

309. Put your feet up. Really enjoy yourself.

310. Okay. There you go. Look over here.

311. That's too close. Get outta here. It's not too close.

312. Gillian, Chuck bass.

313. I never thought I'd hear from you again.

314. Frankly, neither did i. Are you still an intern

315. at "New York magazine"? - Yeah. Why?

316. What do you know about a guy named Dan Humphrey? - Nothing,

317. except he's about to walk into a meeting with my boss.

318. I have to go. I'll call you back.

319. Did Brooklyn boy really think

320. he could bury the bone in the backyard

321. and no one would find it? Every bass will have his day.

322. Now how many muses come over in the morning bearing breakfast?

323. Oh, my gosh. You must have stayed up all night making that.

324. Pretty much.

325. Oh. - What do you think?

326. It's beautiful.

327. It's also kind of weird, maybe.

328. Not—not that it's weird, but it makes me feel that way,

329. you know, seeing myself...

330. Like this.

331. I should probably be more cool and mysterious and stop talking.

332. I kinda like being your inspiration.

333. Good. Get used to it.

334. Hey, Aaron. Am i early?

335. Uh, no, actually, you're right on time.

336. Serena, this is Danielle. She models for me.

337. Hey, i thought modeling was our thing.

338. I'm—I'm doing a series.

339. I should go.

340. No, you don't have to.

341. Yeah. No, i do. Um, i have this thing that i forgot about

342. that i, um, I'm gonna do. Oh, can i have this coffee?

343. Yes, yes. Have— have the coffee.

344. Noah, it's Dan.

345. You know how i told you it might take a while

346. to get anything good on bass? Well, turns out the story's

347. not gonna take as long to crack as we thought.

348. You have glow, miss Eleanor, like Chinese lantern.

349. Well, it's love, Dorota.

350. How can you possibly love Cyrus?

351. He does all the things you hate.

352. He uses the wrong fork. He slurps his soup.

353. He wears sports socks. He's short and pushy.

354. He's nothing like daddy.

355. Which is precisely why i like him.

356. Harold was lovely in a million ways,

357. but he—he had his secrets.

358. Cyrus is someone i can trust.

359. Before i go see cyndi lauper,

360. i have to go pick up my dress at barneys.

361. I have to get my hair done. Would you like to come with? No, thanks. But have fun.

362. Screw grace Kelly. I need to scheme.

363. Oh, no. - That tiny man must have some big secret i can exploit,

364. and with his trusting nature,

365. finding it out shouldn't be too hard.

366. Hey.

367. You're Humphrey? I wasn't expecting a kid.

368. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but no one else is showing up.

369. So if you got information, I'm right here.

370. All right, in '87, your friend bass

371. bought a building in midtown to convert to condos.

372. The market crashed,

373. and he couldn't raise the funds to complete it.

374. So wouldn't you know? That building burned down.

375. Are you saying it wasn't an accident? Kinberg building.

376. Bass collects the insurance.

377. He goes on to build an empire.

378. It was just like in "all the president's men."

379. Yeah, and I'm thinking there's no way this could be legit,

380. but all of the facts check out— the date, the building,

381. the fire, the insurance, even.

382. And you're happy about this? It's—it's huge.

383. Bart bass, an arsonist? This article could change my life.

384. It could also change Serena's life, Lily's life,

385. their whole family's.

386. I know, all right? And i feel badly about that,

387. but if this is true, then people have the right to know.

388. so you can exploit it. Dad, I'm writing an important story

389. for a quality publication.

390. Why can't you just admit this is a good thing for me?

391. Hello, Alison.

392. Jenny asked you to sign what papers?

393. All right, thanks for having my back on this.

394. Talk to you later. You and i are gonna talk more.

395. Now i have to go find Jenny.

396. My mom is so happy. I've never seen her like this.

397. Your mother is a diamond

398. in an ocean of coal.

399. From the moment we met, i knew she was the one.

400. Have you always been so romantic?

401. Like, with your ex-wife?

402. Certainly not.

403. Actually, I've only felt like this once before in my life.

404. tell me about it.

405. Well...

406. You know, Alice and i were very young when we got married.

407. We were very fond of each other but never passionate.

408. And then i got drafted. I was sent to Vietnam.

409. And i fell deeply in love

410. with a vietnamese girl named Kim-ly.

411. It means "golden lion."

412. How feline.

413. - Go on.

414. Oh, i knew i could never stay married to Alice

415. if i could feel a passion like that for somebody else.

416. And i planned to bring Kim-ly back to America.

417. But first, i had to go back by myself and...

418. End my marriage.

419. While i was breaking the news to Alice,

420. Kim-ly was killed

421. in a surprise attack on her village.

422. She died?

423. Yeah.

424. So i was devastated.

425. But i always knew in my heart

426. that what I'd felt for Kim-ly was true love.

427. And i think i was too much of a romantic

428. to stay forever in a loveless marriage.

429. So ultimately, uh, Alice and i parted as good friends.

430. Wow.

431. I'd always hoped i could feel something like that again,

432. and now i have with your mother.

433. So...

434. Yeah. My prayers have been answered.

435. Aaron. Hey, it's me.

436. Oh, hey, what's up? Well, it's—it's such a beautiful day,

437. i was thinking i could take you

438. to one of my favorite spots for a change.

439. Have you ever been to the old puppet theatre in central park?

440. That sounds great, but I'm still in the studio with Danielle.

441. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you still working?

442. No, no. We're just hangin'.

443. Can, uh, we do the puppet thing tomorrow?

444. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

445. Looks like b.'S prophecy came true.

446. One day you're a muse. The next, you're old news.

447. The caterers done setting up downstairs?

448. Yes.

449. And what about you, my sneaky daughter?

450. Are you done yet?

451. What do you mean?

452. Cyrus told me that you had lunch together,

453. and he was very touched.

454. Of course, he doesn't know yet

455. that you have an agenda for absolutely everything.

456. I don't know what you're talking about.

457. Blair...

458. You're not a child anymore.

459. But you can't help it, can you?

460. You can't stop meddling and scheming. Let me guess—

461. you played nice

462. so that you could dig up some dirt on Cyrus.

463. But it didn't work, did it?

464. Because he is

465. the most upstanding man i have ever met.

466. Sorry, mom.

467. It turns out that Cyrus is just like daddy.

468. He cheated on his ex-wife. He had an affair.

469. He fell in love with her.

470. I'm sorry.

471. It's true.

472. You can ask him yourself.

473. Yeah?

474. This is Scott Smith's office

475. calling for Jenny Humphrey. Well, this is Agnes Andrews.

476. Oh, I'm sorry. I must have mixed up your phone numbers.

477. I'm about to see Jenny right now.

478. Is there something you want me to tell her? Please let her know

479. the contracts are ready for j. Humphrey designs.

480. I'll give her that message.

481. there's a totally cute guy over there. - The busboy?

482. Beggars can't be choosers.

483. How's your totally cute boyfriend, Serena?

484. Oh, he—he's not exactly my boyfriend.

485. You mean he's free?

486. Hazel, i can hear your desperation from the other room.

487. Serena, what's wrong?

488. Oh...

489. Well...

490. I think you were right.

491. The whole muse thing kinda backfired.

492. Well, i would say i told you so,

493. but since I'm now 18, I'll refrain. What happened?

494. Well, we had this amazing night.

495. I modeled for him, and he did this incredible installation.

496. He totally loves you.

497. But then another girl showed up at the studio,

498. and she modeled for him,

499. and they've been hanging out all day.

500. So Pablo's already moved on? That was faster than i thought. Blair.

501. It's okay, s. It's actually a good thing. Mm.

502. This way, you can get out before you're in too far.

503. Oh, hey. - Oh, you just missed your dad.

504. He was ringing the buzzer for an hour.

505. My dad? - Hmm.

506. Wait, what are you doing with my dresses?

507. You know, when i let you in, i had no idea

508. you'd be such a little thief— stealing my contact list

509. and our whole business. I wasn't stealing, Agnes—

510. you know, you think you're so talented and unique, don't you? No, i don't.

511. You know, three weeks ago, you were absolutely nothing.

512. You were a little intern pinning my hem.

513. It was my idea to do the fashion line.

514. I found the photographer and the models

515. for the fashion shoot. It was also my idea

516. for the guerilla fashion show, and i have all the contacts!

517. I know. You're right, okay? You're right.

518. Just give me my dresses, please.

519. Do you know how many "talented" artists there are

520. These dresses are as much mine as they are yours.

521. Now they belong to nobody. Are you totally insane?

522. Yes, I'm insane, Jenny!

523. What are you doing? Agnes? Don't!

524. Agnes, please!

525. These dresses are everything! They're my entire future!

526. You are out of your mind!

527. what the hell did you do, Agnes?

528. You did this! Now by the time i get back,

529. i want you and your crap out of my apartment.

530. Well, it was good to see you.

531. Ha. The mythical Serena.

532. Oh, you must be Cyrus,

533. Eleanor's boyfriend. How did you know who i was?

534. Well, i recognized you from Aaron's studio.

535. You know Aaron?

536. He's my son!

537. Wh—

538. Oh, my goodness.

539. You didn't catch the family resemblance?

540. No, it's okay.

541. You know, i think he's quite smitten with you.

542. Really? Uh, I'm not so sure.

543. Well, he told me that he took you to the cloisters.

544. He definitely doesn't do that with just anyone.

545. You know, I'm actually gonna go stop by his studio

546. to see him now, but it was really nice meeting you.

547. Likewise.

548. Oh, Eleanor. - Did you cheat on your ex-wife?

549. Well, did you?

550. Is it true? - Yes, it is.

551. Get out.

552. I-i thought he was...

553. Different.

554. I-i have to go lie down.

555. There are so many hot guys here.

556. My god. Look at that guy.

557. Cyndi lauper?

558. What are you doing here?

559. My pal Cyrus called me yesterday.

560. He bought out my gig and asked me

561. to play this girl's birthday party instead.

562. I guess he's madly in love with her mother.

563. I'm looking for a Blair Waldorf.

564. How do you do?

565. Make yourself at home.

566. I... oh!

567. Dorota!

568. This is Dorota. She's your biggest fan.

569. Oh, my. Miss lauper!

570. Wait! Miss Blair, where are you going?

571. I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday.

572. Instead, i got a conscience.

573. I gotta go.

574. Sorry to bother you at home, sir.

575. What was it you wanted to speak to me about?

576. Uh, well, um, something kind of strange happened

577. while i was at your office.

578. I-i-i overheard this guy talking about you to an employee.

579. He said—he said that you were responsible for a fire

580. in one of your own buildings. He had a lot of details.

581. I figured there must be some kind of explanation,

582. you know, if it even happened, which, uh, I'm sure it didn't.

583. And look, i know it's none of my business. I'm sorry.

584. But he was so insistent, i figured if he was telling

585. people at work, he—he could be telling other people, too.

586. So it's out.

587. I've had that man's death on my conscience for 20 years.

588. Wait. Someone died?

589. Dad, don't say anything else.

590. He's writing a story for a magazine.

591. So what's it gonna cost to make this go away?

592. I don't want your money.

593. If you use this against my father, i will destroy you.

594. Chuck, what happened is bigger than you hating me

595. or me trying to make it as a writer.

596. I couldn't ignore this if i wanted to.

597. It will ruin our family.

598. Don't do it.

599. Please.

600. You're still here.

601. I sent my driver to dinner because i thought

602. I'd be at the party ringing in your birthday.

603. You threw in the towel rather easily.

604. I expected a harder fight.

605. I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war

606. with Eleanor's daughter

607. is never gonna result in a victory.

608. So you retreated with dignity.

609. Who says i gave up?

610. Oh, my god.

611. You outmaneuvered me.

612. You deliberately let me win, counting on the fact

613. that cyndi lauper would prey on my emotions.

614. I'm a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead.

615. Some of us can't rely entirely on our looks, you know.

616. Well done.

617. Not enough.

618. Fine. You're a genius.

619. You better be good to my mother, or I'll be coming for you.

620. Those are fair terms.

621. Now come upstairs and stand next to me

622. while i tell my mom the whole truth about the golden lion.

623. She'll be furious with me, so i may need an attorney.

624. Oh!

625. Oh.

626. Y-you're not what i had in mind.

627. Well, you're not what i had in mind.

628. (man) Sir?

629. This was left for you with the concierge downstairs.

630. I'm sorry I'm interrupting your "work."

631. Serena, i thought i was seeing you tomorrow.

632. Excuse me. Right, because you're seeing Danielle tonight.

633. Well, I'm seeing a lot of people.

634. You and i just started hanging out, okay?

635. Did i miss a talk where we decided to be exclusive? No, but—

636. look, i don't know how it works in high school,

637. but i like to date more than one person at once.

638. but that's not really my thing.

639. - Hey, dad.

640. Can i come in?

641. Of course you can, Jenny. This is your home.

642. I'm happy to have you back. I'm not back yet,

643. but i will be if you sign these papers.

644. You mean the papers your mother already refused to sign?

645. She only refused because she didn't want

646. to get in the middle. And here i thought you'd come to your senses.

647. You don't even have your coat off, and you're already using

648. If i sign this paper, it means that everything

649. you've done up to now—

650. this lying, cheating, manipulation—

651. it's all okay.

652. And if you don't sign it, then everything I've done—

653. everything— is all for nothing.

654. I won't put my name on a piece of paper

655. condoning who you've become.

656. Fine. Then I'll just have to find another way.

657. What other way? You gonna sleep on Agnes' couch

658. till you turn 18? If that's what it takes.

659. Poor little orphan Jenny.

660. Looks like she needs a daddy warbucks.

661. But daddy warbucks don't grow on trees—

662. at least not on a tree that grows in Brooklyn.

663. Mr. Smith? Hi.

664. Yeah, sorry to bother you on a Sunday.

665. Um, is there any way that we can meet at your office today?

666. Can i come in?

667. I can't stop you.

668. I want to apologize, son.

669. Apologize?

670. I never blamed you for your mother's death.

671. I read that short story that, uh,

672. Dan Humphrey wrote about you and your mother.

673. I had no idea you felt that way.

674. It's my fault.

675. I know I've had trouble being close to you.

676. But it's not for the reasons you think.

677. It's just hard because...

678. Every time i look at you,

679. i see her.

680. You miss her. - You have no idea.

681. I've made some terrible mistakes in my life,

682. but i don't want to make another.

683. I want to know my son.

684. So any, uh, interest in going to that hockey game?

685. I'll, uh...

686. Clear my calendar.

687. i spoke to your sister.

688. My, uh, plan didn't exactly pan out.

689. I heard. She called me.

690. You've been thinking about that story on Bart bass?

691. Uh, yeah.

692. I took your advice and killed it.

693. You saved that family.

694. i think it's time you saved ours, dad.

695. It's so important to you to be right.

696. That's a trait i inherited. I'd be the first to say it.

697. But you—you need to get Jenny back,

698. even if it means letting her win.

699. so... What's the urgent question?

700. Neither of my parents will sign the papers.

701. Um, what else can i do?

702. Well, you have one other option, but it's extreme.

703. You could file a suit to become emancipated. What's that mean?

704. You'd be empowered to be your own guardian.

705. Your legal ties with your family would be severed.

706. You mean divorce my parents?

707. Okay. What do i need to do?

708. Well, i can't believe Aaron is Cyrus' son.

709. Of course, you get the prince, and i get stuck with the toad.

710. Well, it doesn't look like I'm gonna have

711. the fairy tale ending.

712. I went to have a talk with Aaron yesterday. - And?

713. Instead, he had a talk with me.

714. I really tried to deal with the casual dating thing...

715. you're totally conventional, just like i am. It's not a facade.

716. I-i believe in freedom, people following their hearts,

717. doing what they want.

718. You know i always wish I'd lived in the '60s.

719. You believe in long hair, peasant skirts and sandals,

720. but you in an open relationship? I don't think so. - Speaking of relationships,

721. how are you faring with Cyrus and Eleanor?

722. Well, he's not exactly my cup of tea,

723. but he makes my mother happy, and... - Yes.

724. He's not that bad. Well, I'm proud of you.

725. It's not like i have to see him that often.

726. He'll come to pick her up for dinner once, twice a week.

727. Have to go. - Bye.

728. Darling, we have some wonderful news.

729. Thanks to you, Blair,

730. we've been up all night talking about love

731. and death and the brevity of life.

732. And we have decided that he should move in today.

733. Some surprises hit you over the head like a squash racket.

734. And others sneak up on you when you're least expecting it.

735. What are you doing here? I'm picking you up for an afternoon of puppet theater

736. in the park. But we broke up last night, remember?

737. Wait, how did—how did we break up if we're not going out?

738. Thanks for reminding me. That feels good.

739. Serena, i-i really like you.

740. Even though i grew up on the Upper East Side,

741. i don't want the same life that my parents had—

742. social obligations and forced conversations,

743. saying no to all the things that i wanted to say yes to.

744. I thought you felt the same way.

745. And if i was wrong, i-i apologize.

746. No.

747. No, you were right.

748. Uh, wait. What are you doing?

749. Don't you want to get dressed? - Nope.

750. Oh. - And sometimes the biggest surprises

751. are the ones you spring on yourself.

752. Come on.

753. scampering about in a slip is one way to shed old skin.

754. But will embracing free love

755. be as easy as flinging off a pair of fendi flats?

756. Looks like someone's going barefoot in the park.

757. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.