1. Gossip girl here—
your one and only sourceCopy !req
2. into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.Copy !req
3. Top story on my home page—Copy !req
4. Serena Van Der Woodsen,
everybody's favorite "it" girlCopy !req
5. has just returned
from a mysterious absenceCopy !req
6. and was learning the hard wayCopy !req
7. that you can never
go home again.Copy !req
8. Serena?
- Serena's at school.Copy !req
9. Why'd she return?
Let me guess—
you told everyoneCopy !req
10. Eric's just visiting grandpa
in Rhode Island.Copy !req
11. Your aunt Carol in Miami.
He tries to take his own life,Copy !req
12. and you're worried it's gonna
cost you mom of the year?Copy !req
13. Must be a lot of rumors
why you're back.
None of them mention you.Copy !req
14. Nate's gonna wait for Serena.
He can get in line
behind that guy.Copy !req
15. I don't need some new boy
influencing her,Copy !req
16. Guess who's dad is cool?Copy !req
17. It's a trick question.
Yeah,
'cause it can't be ours.Copy !req
18. You're going out with Serena,
and I'm goingCopy !req
19. to kiss on the lips. Who said
this family wasn't cool?Copy !req
20. I thought everything
was good between us.Copy !req
21. It was... before i found out
you had sex with my boyfriend.Copy !req
22. Great,
just in time for brunch.Copy !req
23. I told her to stay away.Copy !req
24. I'm not sneaking around
with you.
- Just to talk.Copy !req
25. You said you'd never
speak to her again.Copy !req
26. So you slept with
your best friend's boyfriend.
Is that true?Copy !req
27. Then she ran away
and lied about it.Copy !req
28. Poor Daniel—so little time,
so many sluts to defend.Copy !req
29. This world,
it's—it's crazy.Copy !req
30. And you're a part of it.Copy !req
31. Blair, how can i fix this?Copy !req
32. You don't, Serena.
You just stay away.Copy !req
33. But now that Serena is back,Copy !req
34. will the Upper East Side
ever be the same?Copy !req
35. It takes two tangle,Copy !req
36. and girls like these
don't go down without a fight.Copy !req
37. And who am i?Copy !req
38. That's a secret
I'll never tell.Copy !req
39. You know you love me.Copy !req
40. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.Copy !req
41. there's plenty of upsideCopy !req
42. to being the spawn
of the fabulously wealthy.Copy !req
43. But the downside?Copy !req
44. Super successful parentsCopy !req
45. except nothing less
from their offspring.Copy !req
46. And when it comes to college,
that means the ivies.Copy !req
47. It's more than just
getting into college.Copy !req
48. It's setting a course
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
49. And for those few
who aren't legacies,Copy !req
50. the pressures are no less.Copy !req
51. When parents have sacrificed
for their children's futures,Copy !req
52. what kid would
wanna let them down?Copy !req
53. Thank you, ladies.Copy !req
54. Good morning, students.
I ask all of youCopy !req
55. to show a little sympathy
for our junior class.Copy !req
56. They are almost through
with Ivy week.Copy !req
57. As is
our long-standing tradition,Copy !req
58. the constance billard girlsCopy !req
59. will be in charge
of Friday night's mixer,Copy !req
60. and the St. Jude's boysCopy !req
61. will provide the ushers for
the visiting representatives.Copy !req
62. For those of you
who dreamCopy !req
63. of attending
an Ivy league school,Copy !req
64. this mixer is the most important
event of your life.Copy !req
65. But no pressure.Copy !req
66. Ah, it's not that bad.
It looks like i shaved
with a wood chipper.Copy !req
67. I was going
with more of a chain saw.
Not helping.Copy !req
68. Not trying to.
Hey, look on the bright side—
you're not a hemophiliac.Copy !req
69. Otherwise, you'd—
you'd be in the emergency room.Copy !req
70. And that's helping?
Mm, not really.Copy !req
71. Dartmouth's
gonna love you.
Yeah, i gotta believeCopy !req
72. being able to shave is
a prerequisite for attending.Copy !req
73. No one is better qualified,Copy !req
74. i have a trust fund
to fall back on, dad.Copy !req
75. You know, all i have
is what's up here.
- Oh.Copy !req
76. Well, that is
the most important thing.Copy !req
77. College is
about academic excellence,Copy !req
78. not your stock portfolio.Copy !req
79. Besides, you're gonna do great
in your interview.Copy !req
80. You take after your dad
that way.Copy !req
81. Spotlight doesn't phase us.Copy !req
82. Ooh, you better hope there's
not a spotlight involved.Copy !req
83. I'm your sister.
It's what i do.Copy !req
84. Not when
it's about dartmouth.Copy !req
85. Remember, students...
Nathaniel,
a little wake and bake?Copy !req
86. We have
our interviews today.Copy !req
87. My point exactly.Copy !req
88. I have my 1-hitter.Copy !req
89. But underclassmenCopy !req
90. should consider this week
a dress rehearsal.Copy !req
91. You are not only representing
yourselves this week,Copy !req
92. but generations from our school
and your families.Copy !req
93. Try not to cut me off
next time.Copy !req
94. You almost knocked me
over the side of the bench.Copy !req
95. I didn't cut you off.Copy !req
96. I didn't mean to.
You win fair and square,Copy !req
97. and nothing
could make me prouder...Copy !req
98. Till you get in
the old Alma mater, that is.
Dad, we talked about this,Copy !req
99. about me keeping my options
open, looking out west.
Yeah, of course,Copy !req
100. but let's get serious here.Copy !req
101. Someone with your grades
wants to get into dartmouth,Copy !req
102. you need to appear
to be working for it.
- Dad, i—Copy !req
103. you act like it's a joke?
Nate, there's a plan here.Copy !req
104. so you can just make things up
as you go along.Copy !req
105. Dartmouth,
law school, Blair.Copy !req
106. Soon you're gonna have
everything.Copy !req
107. Listen, I'm late for work.
Nail that interview today.Copy !req
108. Go, green!Copy !req
109. As part
of Ivy week's festivities,Copy !req
110. at tomorrow night's mixer,Copy !req
111. Blair Waldorf
will announce the charityCopy !req
112. her community outreach committee
will honor this year.Copy !req
113. Have you seen Serena?
I wonder where she is.Copy !req
114. And you know what i wonder?Copy !req
115. How I'm supposed
to hear anything about YaleCopy !req
116. with all this talk
about Serena.Copy !req
117. do you remember when dad gave
me my first Yale sweatshirt?Copy !req
118. I don't think
any piece of clothingCopy !req
119. has ever fit me more perfectly,Copy !req
120. not to mention how adorable
i found that bulldog.Copy !req
121. Remember when i asked you
if i could get a bulldog?Copy !req
122. Good call, by the way,
saying no.Copy !req
123. And now the big day
is finally here.Copy !req
124. Soon Nate and i
will be away at college.Copy !req
125. Him coming down to Yale,
me going up to dartmouth.Copy !req
126. Dad flying in
for the Princeton game.Copy !req
127. I hope it doesn't make you
feel old watching me grow up.Copy !req
128. Eat up, miss Blair.Copy !req
129. Your mom would want you
to have a good breakfast.Copy !req
130. And now
headmaster Prescott...Copy !req
131. So Serena's really not here?Copy !req
132. That's what i said.
When you weren't
supposed to be talking.Copy !req
133. (Man) Thank you, miss tedrow.Copy !req
134. Serena, come on. Hurry up.
You're gonna be late.Copy !req
135. I am! And i know.Copy !req
136. You know, you shouldn't have
stayed at your brother's again.Copy !req
137. I mean, why sleep there? It's
not like he can even see you.Copy !req
138. His eyes are closed.Copy !req
139. Do you have one maternal bone
in your entire body?Copy !req
140. Serena, you need your rest,
okay? It's Ivy week.Copy !req
141. I know, and if i can get out
of this hotel room,Copy !req
142. it's my sole mission in life
to impress that brown rep.Copy !req
143. Well, i am so thrilled to hear
you say that's still your plan,Copy !req
144. because, i mean,Copy !req
145. i know it's something
we've always talked about,Copy !req
146. but honestly,
since you've been back,Copy !req
147. I've, uh, wondered if your mind
was even on college.Copy !req
148. Look, mom, I've had my mind
on a lot of things.Copy !req
149. But since recent events,Copy !req
150. going away to college
sounds pretty good.Copy !req
151. How, um, how did you
leave things with Dan?Copy !req
152. I don't want
to talk about it.Copy !req
153. What's going on
with you and Blair?
- Mom, please!Copy !req
154. It's o—
- look, all i wanna doCopy !req
155. is just finish high school
in peaceCopy !req
156. and go away to a stateCopy !req
157. with lots of people
who don't know who i amCopy !req
158. and just start over, okay?Copy !req
159. Take a cab. Don't walk.Copy !req
160. Oh, god.Copy !req
161. God,
please don't tell me it's over.Copy !req
162. What? You were there.
I-i would say it's pretty over.Copy !req
163. I meant the assembly.Copy !req
164. Oh, right. No, yeah,
no, it just ended now.Copy !req
165. Damn it.Copy !req
166. Anyway, good luck.Copy !req
167. Yeah, you, too.Copy !req
168. Oh, too bad you missed
the assembly.Copy !req
169. Not that it matters.Copy !req
170. Brown doesn't offer
degrees in slut.Copy !req
171. Spotted—Copy !req
172. s. Not so fashionably late
and dressed down by b.Copy !req
173. Game on, ladies.Copy !req
174. look, i made a mistake
with Nate, okay?Copy !req
175. But then you sabotaged me
with Dan.Copy !req
176. We don't have to be friends,
but—oh!Copy !req
177. Ugh!
- What's up, Waldorf?Copy !req
178. Sorry. It slipped.Copy !req
179. I'm fine.Copy !req
180. I really want to believe
that was an accident.
Then you must be delusional.Copy !req
181. Thank you.Copy !req
182. ooh!Copy !req
183. Running out of colors here,
Blair.Copy !req
184. And I'm running out
of Patience. Enough, okay?Copy !req
185. It's enough
when i say it's enough.Copy !req
186. whoa!Copy !req
187. Oh!Copy !req
188. God!Copy !req
189. (Man) Girls, break it up!Copy !req
190. Get off of me!
Is that enough yet?Copy !req
191. so we've actually
come to physical blows, huh?Copy !req
192. Truce?Copy !req
193. Ow! My leg!Copy !req
194. (Man) Serena,
you're out of here.
Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
195. Ow. Ow.
I hope it's broken.Copy !req
196. Hey, upper east siders.Copy !req
197. We hear that world war III
just broke out,Copy !req
198. and it's wearing kneesocks.Copy !req
199. Choose your side
or run and hide.Copy !req
200. We have a feeling
this one's to the death.Copy !req
201. and i think i can answer
your question in three parts.Copy !req
202. And I'd like to start
with the third part first,Copy !req
203. if it's cool, unless, uh,
that would be confusing.Copy !req
204. In which case, i can start
at the beginning.Copy !req
205. Um, the dartmouth
"principles of community"Copy !req
206. highlight integrity,Copy !req
207. responsibility
and consideration.Copy !req
208. Uh, well, from St. Jude's,
I've learned integrity.Copy !req
209. From being an older brother,
i have learned responsibility,Copy !req
210. and from my parents,Copy !req
211. who have sacrificed everything
to send me to this school,Copy !req
212. I've learned consideration.Copy !req
213. It really comes down
to one thing—Copy !req
214. dartmouth is my dream,Copy !req
215. and I've never asked dartmouth,
but...Copy !req
216. I think
it's been dreaming of me.Copy !req
217. That—that was a joke,Copy !req
218. or an attempt at one.Copy !req
219. Next question.Copy !req
220. (Man) You are the ideal
dartmouth candidate.Copy !req
221. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
222. And it would be an honor
to attend dartmouth.Copy !req
223. I've grown up hearing
all about it from my father.Copy !req
224. I'm just not sure
it's my first choice,Copy !req
225. and if there's only
one Usher position available,Copy !req
226. I'm sure there's someone
who wants it more than me.Copy !req
227. Why should i be chosen
to be an Usher?Copy !req
228. I'm Chuck bass.Copy !req
229. Excuse me.Copy !req
230. Hey.Copy !req
231. Hey.Copy !req
232. You get the one
you wanted?Copy !req
233. Uh...Copy !req
234. No. No, actually,
you did...Copy !req
235. Which makes total sense
because I'm second in our class,Copy !req
236. and you're somewhere around—Copy !req
237. what, i don't know,
uh, last?Copy !req
238. No hard feelings, huh?Copy !req
239. Why should there be?
I mean, how many librariesCopy !req
240. has your dad had to endow
to get you this spot?Copy !req
241. You've earned it.
Look, man, you don't know
anything about my family.Copy !req
242. I'm sorry.
You're right. You're right.Copy !req
243. I'm sure j.L. Hall
will be very impressedCopy !req
244. with your passion
for the dartmouth experience.Copy !req
245. Who the hell is j.L. Hall?
He's the Ivy rep.Copy !req
246. You might want
to pick up his bookCopy !req
247. if you want anything
to talk about.Copy !req
248. "The petting zoo"--Copy !req
249. that's the name
of his book.Copy !req
250. Whoa. Angry guy, huh?Copy !req
251. Short fuse.
I'm trying to work on that.Copy !req
252. Well, let me know
how that goes for you.Copy !req
253. Yeah, I'll—
I'll keep you posted.Copy !req
254. It's a tough week.
Not for me, apparently.Copy !req
255. Uh, in an ironic though
not totally unexpected twist,Copy !req
256. Nate got the one i wanted.Copy !req
257. I'm sorry.Copy !req
258. Yeah, well, i guess that's life
when you're not a legacy.Copy !req
259. Well, hey, just 'cause
you're not an UsherCopy !req
260. doesn't mean you're not
gonna get into an Ivy.Copy !req
261. Yeah? Wh—uh, where'd
your parents go to school?Copy !req
262. Harvard and brown.Copy !req
263. That's—that's all
I'm saying.Copy !req
264. i can't believe
Serena did this.
Yeah, such a cheap shot.Copy !req
265. Finally.Copy !req
266. Hello to you, too. I heard about
the field hockey throw down.Copy !req
267. All those mouth guards
and short skirts—Copy !req
268. i hope somebody filmed it.Copy !req
269. You're heinous.
Which is probably
why you called.Copy !req
270. You know me well.Copy !req
271. Women like to pretend they're
complicated. I know better.Copy !req
272. My leg's numb now.
How about a heating pad?Copy !req
273. Sure.
- Okay.Copy !req
274. Serena came home
for a reason.Copy !req
275. One can only guess.
I'm done guessing.Copy !req
276. I want answers,
and no one likes to beCopy !req
277. on the ground floor of a scandal
like Chuck bass.
I am a bitch when i wanna be.Copy !req
278. Opportunity to cause
some trouble, uncover a secret?Copy !req
279. Take "yes" for an answer.Copy !req
280. Let's turn back to school.Copy !req
281. I left something important
behind.Copy !req
282. Oh, Danny boy,
how was your day?Copy !req
283. He's about to hype dinner.
'Cause no matter
how good it was,Copy !req
284. it's about to get
a lot better.Copy !req
285. I've outdone myself
with the bolognese.Copy !req
286. Sorry about
the melodramatic entrance.Copy !req
287. You didn't get it?Copy !req
288. No, i didn't get it.Copy !req
289. And that i do not get.Copy !req
290. They...Copy !req
291. They gave it to Nate...Copy !req
292. Archibald!Copy !req
293. Oh!Copy !req
294. last year, uh, i believe
he had an original thought.Copy !req
295. It died of loneliness.Copy !req
296. I'm sorry.Copy !req
297. You're sorry?Copy !req
298. Yeah, i know how much
you and mom sacrificed.Copy !req
299. The whole reason you send us
to a school like thisCopy !req
300. is so we can go
to a college of our choice.Copy !req
301. What if that's all
for nothing?Copy !req
302. It's not, okay?Copy !req
303. It's not.Copy !req
304. So you don't get
to be the UsherCopy !req
305. of some whatever party.Copy !req
306. Dad, can i just, um,
stew alone for awhile?Copy !req
307. we're Humphreys, dad.Copy !req
308. Not exactly royalty uptown.Copy !req
309. Are you okay with that?Copy !req
310. No,Copy !req
311. but I'm used to it.Copy !req
312. this is way too good.Copy !req
313. Mom, how's Paris?Copy !req
314. You're not going to believeCopy !req
315. where i found
our little Princess.Copy !req
316. Really?Copy !req
317. Admit it.Copy !req
318. Even for me, this was good.
If you weren't such a perv,Copy !req
319. I'm sure the c.I.A.
Would hire you in a second.Copy !req
320. Defending my country—there's
a future i never imagined.Copy !req
321. With good reason.
What is she doing there?Copy !req
322. Well, what's anyone
doing there?Copy !req
323. It's a facility
for the disturbed or addicted.Copy !req
324. You must have
your own wing.Copy !req
325. You don't get nearly
enough credit for your wit.Copy !req
326. So the question is,
what do you do now?Copy !req
327. Well, i was thinking...Copy !req
328. Total social destruction.Copy !req
329. And here i thought
you were getting soft.Copy !req
330. So this is your bed,
huh?Copy !req
331. Leaving now.Copy !req
332. You can repay me
another time.Copy !req
333. I've been in these sessions
every day for the last week,Copy !req
334. but nothing is going to change
unless she stops hiding him hereCopy !req
335. and lets him
have his life back.Copy !req
336. This is not called hiding,
Serena.Copy !req
337. It's called recovery.Copy !req
338. Telling everyone he's staying
with aunt Carol in Miami?Copy !req
339. He's not ready.
He's not, or you're not?Copy !req
340. Okay, let's take
a deep breath.Copy !req
341. It's good to see
honest conversation.Copy !req
342. What does she know
about honesty?
- Serena.Copy !req
343. But i really think a decision
like this includes Eric as well.Copy !req
344. Oh, you mean i have
a say in this? Wow. Thanks.Copy !req
345. Eric, of course.
We're here for you.Copy !req
346. Look, if you're ready
to leave, you tell us, okay?Copy !req
347. No matter what mom says.Copy !req
348. I would really like
to get out of here...Copy !req
349. Oh, no.Copy !req
350. But maybe I'm not ready yet.Copy !req
351. Hey, what about
for a few hours?Copy !req
352. You can be my date
to the Ivy week party tonight.Copy !req
353. Serena, that party is
an important event for you.Copy !req
354. Well, he'll be around
people he knows.Copy !req
355. It'll be fun, comfortable.Copy !req
356. Uh, actually,
that sounds great.
- Well, there we go.Copy !req
357. Compromise.
That wasn't so hard, was it?Copy !req
358. You know what?
I have to go,Copy !req
359. help them set up
for tonight at the school.Copy !req
360. It's my job as both
parent committee chairCopy !req
361. and responsible mother.Copy !req
362. It'll be great, okay?Copy !req
363. Hi. How are you?
- Good.Copy !req
364. Rufus Humphrey.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
365. Uh, my kid, Dan,
goes to St. Jude's,Copy !req
366. and he really should have been
selected as dartmouth's Usher.Copy !req
367. Maybe there was a mix-up,Copy !req
368. some kind of a glitch
in the system?Copy !req
369. I'd like to believe thatCopy !req
370. because i like to believe
the best in people.
I'm sorry, Mr. Humphrey.Copy !req
371. The Usher positions
have been filled.Copy !req
372. There's nothing we can do.
Uh, is there anything else?
Any other positions?Copy !req
373. Uh, you'll have to discuss this
with our committee chairwoman.Copy !req
374. Sure, perfect. I'd love to.
Where can i find her?Copy !req
375. I'm not sure.
She must be running late. I...Copy !req
376. Oh, there she is now.Copy !req
377. Why am i not surprised?Copy !req
378. Lucky for you,
she seems to be in a good mood.Copy !req
379. Until she sees me.Copy !req
380. Rufus.Copy !req
381. Told ya.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
382. You got a minute, lil?
Not for you.Copy !req
383. you're in.Copy !req
384. What?
- The Ivy week party tonight.Copy !req
385. Your name will be
on the program and everything.Copy !req
386. You got me
the dartmouth spot?
I knew you could do it, dad.Copy !req
387. No, you didn't,
and no, i didn't.Copy !req
388. Not until now.
- Oh, god.Copy !req
389. What? Everybody gets thirsty.
It's really a position of power.Copy !req
390. How did you secure me
this prominentCopy !req
391. Serving snacks?Copy !req
392. I'm the head
of the entertainment committee.Copy !req
393. A-another committee
that didn't existCopy !req
394. until you left
the house today.Copy !req
395. Way to go, dad. Wait.
So who's the entertainment?Copy !req
396. Uh, since it was
such short notice,Copy !req
397. the only person
i could get was myself.Copy !req
398. Kind of a staid affair for
early '90s postpunk math rock,Copy !req
399. don't you think?Copy !req
400. I'm bringing
a couple of the guys.Copy !req
401. It'll be Rufus unplugged.
Need a roadie?Copy !req
402. Thanks, sweetie.
Should i call mom,Copy !req
403. and we can just make this
a full-fledged Humphrey affair?Copy !req
404. Look, i did the best i could.Copy !req
405. At least you get to officially
be a part of this thing.Copy !req
406. You can talk
to that author you love,Copy !req
407. ask him anything you want.
Like his, uh, preference
for soft drinks?Copy !req
408. if you get at all anxious,
sweetie,Copy !req
409. if you feel light-headed
or panicky—Copy !req
410. I'll be fine, mom.Copy !req
411. All i have to do
is be normal.Copy !req
412. Or at least act normal.Copy !req
413. Works for mom.Copy !req
414. Do you see the Yale rep?Copy !req
415. I thought you wanted
to go to brown,Copy !req
416. and Blair wanted
to go to Yale.Copy !req
417. Yeah, i know.Copy !req
418. Mm.Copy !req
419. My father would never forgive me
if i didn't introduce myself.Copy !req
420. He says that you two
used to do crew together.Copy !req
421. Crew?Copy !req
422. Oh, hi.
I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen.Copy !req
423. Blair, i didn't know you were
interested in doing crew.Copy !req
424. I'm not. I was just saying
that there's a family connectionCopy !req
425. because of my father—
in fact, i didn't knowCopy !req
426. you were interested
in athletics at all.Copy !req
427. Well, especially ones where
you might get your hair wet.Copy !req
428. She's really more
of the indoors type of girl.Copy !req
429. Oh, my goodness.
Your glass is almost empty.Copy !req
430. Let's get you a drink.
Uh, no, I'll take him.Copy !req
431. Oh, don't worry about it.
So tell me about Yale.Copy !req
432. Can you please explainCopy !req
433. how Serena's
commandeering the Yale repCopy !req
434. while you're supposed
to be his Usher?Copy !req
435. I switched.Copy !req
436. I'm trying to get
into Princeton.Copy !req
437. Oh, don't your la perlas
in a bunch.Copy !req
438. Look who's arrived—
Dr. ostroff.Copy !req
439. Blair, Dr. Donald ostroff.Copy !req
440. Interesting choice of guest, b.Copy !req
441. Such a pleasure. I've heard
s-such wonderful things...Copy !req
442. Coincidence? I think not.Copy !req
443. i liked your book.Copy !req
444. Oh, thanks. What did you think
of the epilogue?Copy !req
445. Some people really love it.Copy !req
446. "The New York times"
called it a "cheap cop-out."Copy !req
447. Warner bros.
Is making a movie.Copy !req
448. I think they're gonna
change the end.Copy !req
449. Well, i can see
how the endingCopy !req
450. might not seem all that...
Commercial.Copy !req
451. Uh...Copy !req
452. Would you like
something to drink?Copy !req
453. Lily, how are you?Copy !req
454. Oh, Bart, hello.
How are you?Copy !req
455. Hey, Eric.Copy !req
456. How's, uh, Miami?Copy !req
457. It was good, thanks.Copy !req
458. You know, go, marlins.Copy !req
459. Would you excuse me, please?Copy !req
460. So the neuroscience project
I'm working onCopy !req
461. involves the cellular
signaling pathwayCopy !req
462. of neuronal
nitric oxide synthase.Copy !req
463. It's initiated when
glutamate binds to n.M.D.A.R...Copy !req
464. hi. You're Eric, right?Copy !req
465. Yeah, you're Jenny,
Dan's sister, right?Copy !req
466. Yeah, we, um, met at...Copy !req
467. Bendel's.
Yeah, i remember.
- Oh, cool.Copy !req
468. Eric, good to see you.
You enjoy Miami?Copy !req
469. Uh, yeah.
S-save the manatees.Copy !req
470. manatees?Copy !req
471. It's a long story.
- I've got time.Copy !req
472. It's a little dark and...Copy !req
473. I can handle it.Copy !req
474. (Dan) You wanna
go to Yale then?Copy !req
475. No, brown. It's just
this thing with Blair.Copy !req
476. Oh, yeah. Yeah, i get it.
I mean, since you don't haveCopy !req
477. to actually worry
about getting into college,Copy !req
478. why not make the entire evening
about screwing over Blair?Copy !req
479. No, thanks.Copy !req
480. Hey.Copy !req
481. Wait, you're seriously
not gonna talk to me?Copy !req
482. Like, literally not speak?Copy !req
483. Hey.Copy !req
484. Oh, much better.Copy !req
485. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
486. So, um, what's he like?Copy !req
487. Like a dartmouth
English lit professorCopy !req
488. i have nothing
in common with.
- Mm.Copy !req
489. Guess i could tell himCopy !req
490. how everything i have
i got because I'm an Archibald.Copy !req
491. You should mention Dr. Seuss.Copy !req
492. Theodor geisel is his real name.
He went to dartmouth.Copy !req
493. Uh, hall said he got the idea
for "the petting zoo"Copy !req
494. from "the lorax."
- The what?Copy !req
495. Um, you know what?
Never mind.Copy !req
496. Just—just mention
how his prose styleCopy !req
497. is influenced
by early faulkner.Copy !req
498. You'll be all right.Copy !req
499. Uh, or not.Copy !req
500. I was actually gonna
get some fresh air.Copy !req
501. How about you
take these over to him?Copy !req
502. All right.Copy !req
503. Yeah, i guess i could
leave my post unmannedCopy !req
504. for a minute or two.Copy !req
505. Where do you think
you're going?
- Home.Copy !req
506. I don't think so.Copy !req
507. Now you get back out there
and you finish what you started.Copy !req
508. You mean what you started?
I don't wanna go to dartmouth.Copy !req
509. There, i said it.
Now back off.Copy !req
510. So we moved into the hotel,
and, uh...Copy !req
511. It was just the two of us,Copy !req
512. and i was really lonely.Copy !req
513. So...
That's when you...Copy !req
514. So i ended up
at the ostroff center.Copy !req
515. And my mom says that they have
the best counselors,Copy !req
516. but what they really
get paid forCopy !req
517. is to to keep
their mouths shut.Copy !req
518. Look,
i-i won't say anything.Copy !req
519. I promise.Copy !req
520. So do you wanna
go back in?Copy !req
521. Yeah, and answer
more questions about Florida?Copy !req
522. Well, i have a grandma
who lives in fort Myers.Copy !req
523. I can help
think of some material.Copy !req
524. May i please
have everyone's attention?Copy !req
525. Welcome againCopy !req
526. to the constance billard/
St. Jude's Ivy week mixer.Copy !req
527. I'm Blair Waldorf,Copy !req
528. chair of the community outreach
committee.Copy !req
529. Every year,
our schools choose to supportCopy !req
530. one local institution that
we feel benefits our community.Copy !req
531. This year,Copy !req
532. our schools have chosen to honor
the ostroff center.Copy !req
533. This semester, our choice
is a very personal oneCopy !req
534. because the center
has helped one of our own.Copy !req
535. What is going on here?Copy !req
536. It's because
of their excellent programCopy !req
537. which aids so many
young addicts and alcoholicsCopy !req
538. that a student here with us
today is clean and sober.Copy !req
539. At least, for now.Copy !req
540. Can i please have
Serena Van Der WoodsenCopy !req
541. join me onstage?Copy !req
542. Spotted at Ivy week mixer—Copy !req
543. s. And b.'S last stand,Copy !req
544. and only one gets out alive.Copy !req
545. Better take cover.Copy !req
546. Please tell me
this isn't happening.
It's not.Copy !req
547. No.
- No, you're
not going up there.Copy !req
548. You're gonna stay
right here, okay?Copy !req
549. Whatever you're doing,Copy !req
550. think about who's standing
in this room right now.Copy !req
551. Don't try to deny it.
Chuck saw you.Copy !req
552. Hi. I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen.Copy !req
553. I just wanna thank my friend,
Blair Waldorf,Copy !req
554. for recognizing
the ostroff centerCopy !req
555. and all of the good things
that they do.Copy !req
556. Thanks, Blair.Copy !req
557. At the center,Copy !req
558. one of the main things
that we learn is forgiveness.Copy !req
559. She's in rehab?
No, it's not her.
It's her brother who's there.Copy !req
560. What?
- You can't tell anyone, okay?Copy !req
561. I won't, but why
is she doing this?Copy !req
562. I've learned about how,Copy !req
563. in order to move forward
with our future,Copy !req
564. we must forgive those
who have wronged us in the past,Copy !req
565. and we must, ourselves,
ask for forgivenessCopy !req
566. from those
whom we've wronged.Copy !req
567. Without this forgiveness,
innocent people get hurt—Copy !req
568. all right, thank you, Serena.
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
569. Honesty may be the best policy
in some zip codes,Copy !req
570. but not in this one,
and not this week,Copy !req
571. 'cause
"i was a teenage drug addict"Copy !req
572. is not exactly
a winning college essay.Copy !req
573. And now can i please have
Dr. ostroff join me onstage?Copy !req
574. Why is Blair outing youCopy !req
575. for a drug problem
that you don't have?Copy !req
576. You don't, do you?
- Mom!Copy !req
577. Well, it's not like we have
some free, open relationship.
And that's my fault?Copy !req
578. Look, what's happened to EricCopy !req
579. has put a huge strain
on our family,Copy !req
580. but we are still a family.Copy !req
581. Why do you think
i did what i just did?Copy !req
582. Will you excuse me?Copy !req
583. I'm gonna go end this
with Blair now.Copy !req
584. Blair,
what the hell was that?Copy !req
585. Will you excuse us,
please?Copy !req
586. Sure.Copy !req
587. So we good now?Copy !req
588. Are we square?Copy !req
589. No, because nothing i doCopy !req
590. will ever be as bad
as what you did to me.Copy !req
591. Look, I'm asking you,
please.Copy !req
592. I'll stop if you will.Copy !req
593. You're just saying that
because today you lost,Copy !req
594. and you're gonna keep losing.Copy !req
595. Now if you'll excuse me,
unlike you,Copy !req
596. i have a future
to get back to.Copy !req
597. Serena.Copy !req
598. Serena!
- What? What, do you want
to congratulate meCopy !req
599. on destroying my future?
No, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
600. I just wanted to ask
if you're okay,Copy !req
601. 'cause what you did in there
for your brother,Copy !req
602. that was...
That was very cool.Copy !req
603. Wait, how did you know
about my brother?
- It—it's okay.Copy !req
604. Really, no one
will ever hear it from me,Copy !req
605. but if you ever need
anybody to talk to,Copy !req
606. or not talk to,Copy !req
607. I'd be happy to do either.Copy !req
608. I'll keep that in mind.Copy !req
609. And, um,Copy !req
610. i know i said
some things about youCopy !req
611. and your world,Copy !req
612. and I'm sorry.Copy !req
613. Obviously, i don't know
anything about your life.Copy !req
614. Thank you,Copy !req
615. but I've really
got to get out of here.Copy !req
616. Yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
617. But...Copy !req
618. Maybe, you know,
i can take you upCopy !req
619. on that getting together
and not talking thing sometime?Copy !req
620. Will you call me?Copy !req
621. Yeah.Copy !req
622. Okay, let's go.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
623. No, there's someone
i need to talk to first.Copy !req
624. Please, mom,
i can do this.Copy !req
625. Okay.Copy !req
626. Blair, can i talk to you?
It'll just take a moment.Copy !req
627. Sure. Sure.Copy !req
628. Serena's not a patient
at the ostroff center.Copy !req
629. Eric, you've always been a sweet
kid, and i can understand youCopy !req
630. trying to protect
your sister—
- i am.Copy !req
631. I've never even seen you
take a drink.Copy !req
632. I'm not an alcoholic.Copy !req
633. I did this.Copy !req
634. And today,
Serena protected me.Copy !req
635. Eric, I...Copy !req
636. I didn't...Copy !req
637. See that coming? Yeah.Copy !req
638. Oh, it must be a shockCopy !req
639. for someone who thinks
she knows everything.Copy !req
640. and what was that all about?Copy !req
641. Another bomb
lands in Blair's lap.Copy !req
642. Will she use it as ammunition,Copy !req
643. or will she finally surrender
and put down her arms?Copy !req
644. Nothing.Copy !req
645. so you really impressed
the guy, huh?Copy !req
646. Must be the way
you poured those sodas.Copy !req
647. Yeah, about that, uh...Copy !req
648. I know i may have been a little
light on the gratitude...Copy !req
649. Yeah, a touch.Copy !req
650. But i appreciate it,
all of it,Copy !req
651. even if i sometimes
don't show it.Copy !req
652. We're real men, son.Copy !req
653. We don't like
to share our feelings.Copy !req
654. But...Copy !req
655. I know
what you're capable of,Copy !req
656. and nothing—Copy !req
657. my last name,Copy !req
658. my bank account—Copy !req
659. is gonna keep you
from getting what you deserve,Copy !req
660. not if i can help it.Copy !req
661. And i see that dartmouthCopy !req
662. has an electroacoustic
music program.Copy !req
663. What do you think
of me applying?
- What?Copy !req
664. Yeah, and Jenny's smart.
We'll get her early admission.Copy !req
665. Maybe we'll all go.Copy !req
666. So not remotely funny.Copy !req
667. Nate.Copy !req
668. Huh?Copy !req
669. Hello?Copy !req
670. Oh, yeah,
I'll be right there.Copy !req
671. Where the hell could you
possibly have to be right now?Copy !req
672. I'm late for a run
with my dad.Copy !req
673. Who's Jessica?Copy !req
674. Aw, Jersey girls.Copy !req
675. Let's just sayCopy !req
676. they're the Princeton tigers
for a reason.Copy !req
677. All right, I'll see ya.Copy !req
678. You feel this?
Feeling good?Copy !req
679. Good.
- All right,
'cause I'm gonna...Copy !req
680. if i knew he was gonna
get me out here this early.
I'm glad to seeCopy !req
681. you're feeling better, Nate.
I was, uh, just telling jedCopy !req
682. about your little bout
of food poisoning last night.Copy !req
683. What do you say, kiddo? You want
to show him how it's done?
Let's go.Copy !req
684. Nate is the captain
of his lacrosse team,Copy !req
685. as well as being an all-star
cross-country runner.Copy !req
686. Hi.
- Hey!Copy !req
687. Um, is it okay
that I'm here?Copy !req
688. Yeah. Hi.Copy !req
689. Uh, will your mom be mad?Copy !req
690. That you're here? That would
require her stopping by.Copy !req
691. Saturday mornings are spent
at bliss, and after last night,Copy !req
692. i think she could use some
extra time on the massage table.Copy !req
693. Right. Well, here.Copy !req
694. Somebody has an admirer.Copy !req
695. They're for my sister...
From the brown rep.Copy !req
696. Um, apparently his cousin
did some time here in his youth.Copy !req
697. Well, that's good, right?Copy !req
698. I mean, at least
her entire future isn't blown.
I don't thinkCopy !req
699. that's making her feel
a whole lot better right now.Copy !req
700. Whenever
something's bothering you,Copy !req
701. i can always find you here.Copy !req
702. You here
for another catfight?Copy !req
703. What's that?Copy !req
704. A letter.Copy !req
705. I wrote it to you when you
were away at boarding school.Copy !req
706. I never sent it.Copy !req
707. "Dear Serena,Copy !req
708. "my world is falling apart,Copy !req
709. "and you're the only one
who would understand.Copy !req
710. "My father left my mother
for a 31-year-old model...Copy !req
711. "A male model.Copy !req
712. "I feel like screamingCopy !req
713. "because i don't have
anyone to talk to.Copy !req
714. "You're gone..."Copy !req
715. "My dad's gone.Copy !req
716. Nate's acting weird."Copy !req
717. "Where are you?Copy !req
718. Why don't you call?"Copy !req
719. "Why did you leave
without saying good-bye?Copy !req
720. "You're supposed
to be my best friend.Copy !req
721. I miss you so much."Copy !req
722. "Love, Blair."Copy !req
723. Why didn't you send it?Copy !req
724. I would've—Copy !req
725. you would've what?Copy !req
726. You knew, Serena,Copy !req
727. and you didn't even call.Copy !req
728. I didn't know
what to say to youCopy !req
729. or even how to be your friend
after what i did.Copy !req
730. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
731. Eric told me what happened.Copy !req
732. I guess your family's been
going through a hard time, too.Copy !req
733. Spotted in central park—Copy !req
734. two white flags waving.Copy !req
735. Could an Upper East Side
peace accord be far off?Copy !req
736. So what will it be—
truce or consequences?Copy !req
737. We all know one nation
can't have two queens.Copy !req
738. What happens next?Copy !req
739. Only time will tell.Copy !req
740. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.Copy !req