Gossip Girl 1x14

1. Gossip girl here—your one and only source

2. into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. I love you, Nate Archibald.

3. Always have, always will. I love you, too.

4. but i know who i am, and I'm not gonna forget that

5. I can't help myself. I never should have let you let me go.

6. I will not base my personal life on your preferences.

7. Dan is my boyfriend.

8. I would rather be Chuck's stepsister than Dan's.

9. Lily, would you do me the honor of being my wife?

10. He proposed before we left, and I'm going to say yes.

11. Take care, Rufus.

12. How glad are you to see our families merge, sis?

13. So glad that if you ever call me that again,

14. it'll be the last thing you ever say, Chuck. Unless you want

15. dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me

16. in the back of a moving vehicle,

17. Look, i know you're friends with Blair,

18. but if you know something... Well, Blair was never really my friend.

19. So... - So, yeah, there's something you should know.

20. What a bitch. Oh, my god. She is such a slut!

21. It's over.

22. You held a certain fascination

23. when you were beautiful and untouched.

24. I don't want you anymore,

25. and i can't see why anyone else would. What are you doing here?

26. I was just leaving. No, stay.

27. Consider yourself dethroned, queen b.

28. Jenny, if you walk away from me now, i will ruin you.

29. How are you gonna do that?

30. My whole life is falling apart. - Stay and fight.

31. We'll get through this together. - Promise?

32. Promise.

33. And who am i?

34. That's a secret I'll never tell.

35. You know you love me.

36. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.

37. Cat?

38. Cat!

39. Cat!

40. Ew.

41. Cat!

42. Cat.

43. You don't have a cat, Jenny.

44. My name is Blair.

45. You don't have anyone.

46. But I'm Blair.

47. I'm Blair!

48. Ms. Blair. Ms. Blair.

49. Ms. Blair.

50. Wakey, wakey, upper east siders.

51. Spring break is done, and I'm starved for the dish.

52. Were you sunning in Capri or sinning in Croatia?

53. Give me the deets.

54. Oh, what's happening?

55. You have bad dream,

56. and you're sleeping with your chocolates.

57. Oh, lady godiva, my only friend.

58. And has anyone spotted our ex-queen b.?

59. Where does the dethroned royalty

60. vacation these days?

61. Club bed is over. First day back to school.

62. I can't, Dorota. I don't feel very well.

63. Serena come to get you soon.

64. Call her and cancel.

65. And cover my mirrors.

66. I'm in mourning for my former life.

67. Chuck, I'm serious!

68. Are you done yet? This is my bathroom!

69. It's late,

70. and not to mention disgusting.

71. Chuck!

72. What are you doing?

73. All right, ladies. My sister needs to shower.

74. Make room.

75. I'm just messing with you.

76. I can't believe you lit up in my bathroom. Well, if i lit up in mine,

77. then the folks would know it was me, sis.

78. Oh, okay. Let's get one thing straight—

79. our parents may be insisting on blending our households,

80. but i am not your sister.

81. I do not share any of your d.N.A.,

82. nor do i ever wish to.

83. Then i suggest you get new hand towels.

84. Okay.

85. It's imperative that i bathe.

86. Can you just get out?

87. You know what? Fine. Just forget it.

88. Next year, we're doing spring break in Maldives.

89. Skiing is too dangerous. You broke your arm in the spa.

90. Oh, here, Hazel. Thanks for letting me borrow it.

91. What is this? The bracelet you lent me in Aspen?

92. Oh, yeah. You know, you could've just kept it,

93. and i would've forgot i had it.

94. Girls, how excited are we?

95. Party tomorrow night for Jenny at socialista. I know!

96. It's gonna be my best birthday ever.

97. I heard the mojitos are amazing.

98. Wait till you get your mouth around a mini Cuban. Oh, i don't, um—

99. it's a sandwich.

100. Oh. - Wardrobe, ladies?

101. My ferragamo clutch

102. and whatever dress i buy today to go with it. Ooh. What about you, j.?

103. You know, to pay Penelope back for brunch?

104. Oh, uh, yeah. $120, right?

105. Yeah, i don't feel like stopping.

106. You can get the next one.

107. What are you doing?

108. I'm hiding from my valet.

109. He wanted to put my socks on for me this morning.

110. No. No, no, no, he should not meet Brigita. He's 14.

111. Avoid this person. May i remind you, Serena,

112. that you used to have a sense of humor? No.

113. Morning, father. - Hey.

114. Morning, kids. Morning.

115. And how is Lily Von bulow today? Oh, i have a headache.

116. I had a very frustrating conversation

117. with the wedding planner this morning.

118. Well, may i say aggravation becomes you?

119. You may, but i won't believe it.

120. So... first day back at school, huh?

121. Honey, you didn't, uh, want to shower?

122. I have to go meet Blair. Eric?

123. You go ahead. We'll take the limo.

124. As my best man,

125. i expect you to keep things smooth until the wedding.

126. Best man?

127. Uh, um, I'd be honored, sir.

128. To family.

129. (Dan) I came straight from the airport

130. to take Jenny to school, and she's already gone?

131. She slept at Hazel's last night. Oh. Who's, uh, who's Hazel?

132. Her new friend,

133. the girl whose family she went with to Aspen.

134. Yeah, i was actually surprised you let her go

135. and cancel on mom like that. Well, your mom was in complete support of it.

136. Jenny was very well taken care of.

137. I spoke to her every day, twice from the, uh, private plane. Private plane?

138. It's the best early birthday present

139. we ever could have given her. Oh, so you paid for it?

140. Well, i gave her pocket money.

141. Yeah, Jenny's happier than she's been in a long time.

142. Hey, whenever you're done

143. with that "I'd do things differently" look, two things—

144. one—i can't seem to nail Jenny down

145. Good. And, uh, two—

146. what the hell are you still doing here?

147. Mm. Thank you.

148. At least you get to wake up from your nightmare.

149. I'm living with mine.

150. Thank god i have plans with Dan tonight.

151. Finally, the return of some normalcy!

152. B., what are you doing?

153. Giving homeschooling some serious consideration.

154. Look, i know you think

155. everybody's still talking about you,

156. but your 3-week-old-scandal is ancient news.

157. Well, after much concerted effort,

158. Maya finally made it into Brody jenner's cell phone.

159. Ugh.

160. Oh, and kati's dad

161. moved her entire family back to Israel. Yeah.

162. And constance's bad-girl-turned-good...

163. Serena Van Der Woodsen...

164. Moved in with Chuck bass.

165. Yeah. So you're thinking

166. this whole thing could have blown over by now?

167. Come on.

168. That, too.

169. Don't worry, b.

170. The French revolution had cake.

171. Come on. Let's go.

172. The American revolution had tea.

173. But looks like the overthrow of Blair Waldorf,

174. well...

175. Who said you need a silver spoon

176. to dole out just desserts?

177. I can't believe that. Oh, my god, that was so perfect.

178. That was so perfect. So funny.

179. Hey, Jenny.

180. Can i talk to you just for a second?

181. Um, I'll meet up with you guys, okay?

182. Hey, so i may have told Blair

183. you told me the truth about her and Chuck,

184. and I'm sure she didn't react well to that.

185. But you don't know what you're dealing with here.

186. I'm not scared of Blair, Nate. - No, I'm not talking about—

187. I'm talking about your new circle.

188. I mean, they've been friends with Blair forever,

189. and look what they're doing to her.

190. You fall out of line,

191. what do you think's gonna happen to you?

192. Well, then i won't fall out of line.

193. I'm not saying you're gonna...

194. It's just...

195. You're not like those girls, Jenny.

196. That's weird, Nate. Since they're my friends,

197. you'd think we'd have some stuff in common.

198. Okay.

199. Well, i will give you this—

200. you've got good aim.

201. Can't we eat somewhere else?

202. Look, i know this is hard for you, b.,

203. but you can't let them beat you.

204. You're Blair Waldorf, remember?

205. Right. Right. These are my steps,

206. and I'm not going to relinquish them

207. without a fight, though it would be helpful

208. if maybe there was one more person in our crowd.

209. Only old people and children and—

210. ugh, there's Chuck

211. with a blond mini-Chuck.

212. He's trying to torture me.

213. I... i can't believe it. - I know.

214. Does little j. Actually think

215. that she's anything but their lackey?

216. Hey.

217. Hey. - Hi.

218. So since when does Nate Archibald have

219. so much to say to Jenny Humphrey, hmm?

220. Why? You guys don't like him?

221. Penelope's only had a historic crush on him

222. since the 20th century.

223. Since you and Nate are so tight,

224. maybe you can broker that. Yeah. Maybe.

225. They what? - They're taking her out to dinner

226. for her birthday tomorrow night—

227. table service at socialista.

228. So Jenny Humphrey is officially being inscribed on the a-list.

229. Wait. How do you know this? Because they invited me,

230. but i said no out of deference to you.

231. I just thought i could have dinner

232. with her and Dan and the whole family.

233. How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?

234. Because I'm nice. You should try it sometime.

235. Come on. Um, compliment me. Tell me my hair looks beautiful.

236. But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower?

237. B., i say this out of love,

238. but your being a bitch

239. is what got dairy in your hair in the first place, okay?

240. Be nice and neutral, and things will swing back to normal.

241. You're the queen b., so just let nature take its course.

242. I'm going to model u.N., but we're dining tonight, right?

243. Butter, 7:00. Oh, um, i don't know if i can go out again tonight.

244. Why? What are you doing? Do we have a reservation?

245. - Uh, yeah, i mean, doesn't it take,

246. Oh, and don't forget, j.--

247. you owe me.

248. Um...

249. You know, I've got a better idea.

250. What's she doing?

251. What does she think she's doing?

252. She's giving you the perfect opportunity for niceness.

253. Come on. - No.

254. Yes.

255. Serena, i know that you're doing something

256. with Dan tonight, but, Blair, um, we're all going to butter,

257. Great.

258. Great!

259. Very nice.

260. Thank you.

261. mmm.

262. have you always looked this good?

263. You look so good to me.

264. You look so good to me,

265. and you smell... Mmm, so clean.

266. Mm, you're not gonna tell me the Chuck shower story again,

267. are you? - No.

268. Good.

269. Dan.

270. Chuck. How are you?

271. Excellent. Enjoying having family around.

272. Can you just get it over with, Chuck?

273. Say whatever pervy thing you're gonna say and just leave?

274. The wedding caterer

275. is presenting a tasting to the family.

276. I was coming to call you to dinner. Okay, I'll take off then.

277. No need.

278. I already asked the staff to set a place for you.

279. I have to say i prefer the Chestnut pappardelle.

280. Yeah, the foie gras is a bit rich.

281. You know, I'm—I'm, uh, slanting heavily towards

282. the venison fellow. It's fallow.

283. Fallow. Fallow, exactly. Fallow.

284. Oh, for me?

285. Thank you.

286. Who's it from? I don't know...

287. But it says "open immediately."

288. Do i have to refrigerate it? No, it's not from me. I don't know.

289. Oh. - Oh, don't put your dirty package on the table.

290. If i had a dime for every time i heard that.

291. That's enough, Chuck.

292. Porn and handcuffs?

293. Really?

294. Oh, my. - Wow.

295. This is low, Chuck, even for you.

296. What? I didn't send this.

297. Ahem.

298. Excuse me.

299. Uh, could you...

300. Oh, yeah. My pleasure. Uh, it's not—that's not what i—

301. i didn't mean that.

302. It's, uh...

303. It's trash. I'll throw it out.

304. Spotted—Blair Waldorf, alone at butter.

305. I'm sorry, miss,

306. but it—it looks like your friends aren't coming.

307. Humiliated—party of one.

308. Can't you just picture her sitting there?

309. Every time someone comes in the door...

310. "Ah... it's not them. Ooh, no, not them."

311. Not going to butter

312. is so much better than going to butter.

313. My new nanette lepore for Jenny's birthday.

314. Gorgeous.

315. Wow.

316. Right?

317. What's the birthday girl wearing?

318. Oh, I'm still deciding between two dresses at Bergdorf's.

319. I thought you said Bendel's.

320. Bendel's. Right.

321. Oh, it's my dad.

322. Is, are you wearing your black Chanel? Hello?

323. Which one? You know, i never wear the same thing twice.

324. Mommy taught me well. - Hey, dad.

325. and i guess i lost track of time. Um, I'm not mad.

326. I just feel like i haven't seen you in a while.

327. Oh. That's great, honey.

328. But since i have nothing to wear,

329. i don't think that's happening anymore.

330. Well, if you want to be with your friends,

331. we can do the family thing over the weekend.

332. Sweetheart?

333. Uh, yeah. I'll be home soon, dad.

334. Okay. Bye.

335. hello? Hi.

336. Oh, no check, honey. The drink's on us,

337. unless you want something else?

338. yes.

339. Another bellini,

340. the seared squab,

341. and a bus person to separate the tables,

342. please.

343. One may be the loneliest number...

344. (Man) Information. What city and state, please?

345. Brooklyn. I think that's in New York.

346. But sometimes only the lonely can play.

347. Wake up, little Jenny. The bitch is back.

348. I thought you said you didn't have anything else.

349. Well, i found some stuff in the back of my closet.

350. Mm-hmm. Do you want to go with cash again,

351. or do you want to buy your sewing machine back?

352. Neither. I want that dress.

353. Honey, this is $1,200.

354. Well, this one's... Quite lovely.

355. Yeah, well, that's more my color.

356. Hmm.

357. I say we take the jet to Croatia,

358. where young Eric here

359. can exploit the lesser age of consent—

360. I'm invited to the bachelor party? Brother, please.

361. And then head west to monte Carlo

362. for some all-night cards at metropole,

363. then swing by giza

364. just to watch the sun come up over the pyramids.

365. What do you think, father? I think we're here.

366. Uh, see you at home, Bart.

367. Chuck will catch up in a minute.

368. You almost ruined things between me and Lily once before.

369. I'm not gonna let that happen again.

370. What are you talking about? I'm talking about that vulgar stunt you pulled at dinner.

371. I didn't send Serena that package,

372. and quite frankly,

373. her violated virgin Mary act is getting pretty old.

374. I thought making you my best man would help.

375. What is that supposed to mean?

376. Inspire you to value my happiness

377. above your own childish agenda.

378. Things seem to be working out for you at that club, victrola.

379. I'm thinking you might like me to invest more in the place,

380. so you can have more control?

381. In exchange for good behavior, of course.

382. You're bribing me?

383. So we have a deal then?

384. Volunteering to help those less fortunate than myself.

385. Wow. You're in a good mood.

386. Butter with the girls must have gone well last night?

387. I didn't go, actually.

388. Why not? - I figure they should work a little harder

389. for my forgiveness.

390. Hey, Dan's not hanging out in Brooklyn again this morning.

391. Just tell him i say hi.

392. Okay.

393. Hi.

394. Jenny's dad?

395. We met briefly at Thanksgiving.

396. Ah, yeah.

397. Hi.

398. I got three cases of champagne for Serena Van Der Woodsen.

399. Oh. No, no. I-I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen,

400. but those aren't mine.

401. Well, the purchase order never lies. Salud.

402. Whoo! - (Boy) You guys, get over here!

403. Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Whoo! Aah!

404. She must have been so angry. I would be livid.

405. Hey, guys, i just got this incredible dolce.

406. You wanna see? - It's unbelievable.

407. My mother's Valentino was stolen. Oh, my god.

408. It was made especially for her.

409. It was the same year he did, uh,

410. Jackie o.'S lace wedding mini.

411. Well, did someone break in? No, and the maid swore to the police

412. that she didn't take it, but she'll probably get fired. Wait, police for a dress?

413. It's worth, like, $15,000. My mother told imaculata if she returned it,

414. they could work something out. Like she'll bring it back.

415. Well, you never know. I mean, it could turn up.

416. Right, 'cause really, where is she gonna wear it?

417. I'm really glad, because when i spoke to her,

418. she mentioned the plans with the girls falling through.

419. Nope.

420. Tell you the truth, i didn't really believe her. Why?

421. I thought she was just conflicted

422. about choosing friends over family.

423. Well, you know that's the biggest struggle

424. with a girl her age. Memory doesn't serve...

425. Trying to reconcile who you're becoming

426. with who you used to be.

427. She's been running herself ragged, Mr. Humphrey.

428. Straddling two worlds? Well, i know she was running herself ragged

429. trying to get into one of those worlds—

430. picking up dry cleaning, gowns for masked balls...

431. Well, it's no easier once you're in.

432. She needs some relief.

433. Well, then that's what she'll get.

434. Whatever i can do to help.

435. It wasn't over there?

436. I didn't see anything.

437. Oh, thank god.

438. Betty? Hi. Excuse me. Um...

439. Would you pardon me for a moment, please?

440. I need to trade back.

441. All right, you can keep the scarf and the shoes,

442. but i need to give you this one in exchange for the red one. Well, honey,

443. I'm sorry, but that's just not gonna be possible. What? Why?

444. You know, when you leave here with an item,

445. you're agreeing to its value.

446. The dolce sold at $1,200.

447. The Valentino... Is seven times that.

448. Please, look, this has sentimental value,

449. and i didn't realize— no, I'm sorry.

450. A couple of hours ago, this dress was mine, all right?

451. It doesn't even have tags on it yet.

452. Look, it's not my fault

453. that you don't know what a Valentino's worth.

454. Hello? - Nate, it's Jenny.

455. What's going on? Listen, i wouldn't be calling you

456. if i had anyone else to turn to,

457. but i made a mistake, and i need to fix it,

458. I promise I'll pay you back. Is everything okay?

459. Yeah, i just—i made a mistake, and i need to fix it. Well, how much?

460. $8,000.

461. $8,000? Jenny, what do you need that kind of money for?

462. You know what? Forget it. I'm sorry i bothered you.

463. Excuse me. - Mm-hmm?

464. Does this come in a 2? It wasn't on the rack?

465. The price of fitting in

466. might have gotten a little steeper...

467. Excuse me, sir?

468. But little j. Still knows

469. it's what's underneath that counts.

470. Okay, and here we have bridal bouquet number two.

471. Well, we could put this one on a mylar tablecloth

472. and pretend it's a bar mitzvah.

473. Oh, there you are. I have a date with Dan.

474. Could you excuse us?

475. Thank you.

476. You're gonna say something worse than the bar mitzvah remark?

477. Serena, i think we should talk about any feelings

478. you might be having about my upcoming marriage.

479. Okay, but you're asking me this now because...

480. Because i got a call from your headmistress

481. who said that there was something

482. about a case of alcohol?

483. Well, i thought you may be acting out.

484. Right, mom. I actually woke up this morning, and i thought,

485. "hmm. I'm a little uncertain about my mother's wedding.

486. "Why don't i invite the entire junior class

487. Obviously, Chuck's master plan is working.

488. I can't believe you think Chuck is doing these things.

489. Looking good to everyone in my life isn't enough for him.

490. He has to make me look bad or crazy.

491. Well, Chuck may be eccentric, but i doubt he's diabolical.

492. What's he done now?

493. I'll tell you what he's done.

494. (All) Surprise!

495. Wow.

496. Happy birthday, Jenny.

497. Um, dad, i ca—i can't believe you did all this.

498. And, uh, Blair's here.

499. Um, this is so great

500. that all of you are here

501. in my house.

502. Uh, i should go change.

503. Uh, you got it? Okay.

504. I don't think she was surprised.

505. What's Blair doing here? I don't know.

506. This party's kinda weird. "Weird"? It's time for its induction

507. to the birthday hall of lame.

508. So not what i pictured

509. Mint mojitos at socialista,

510. mint milanos with Jenny's dad.

511. He's kind of a hottie.

512. Yeah, a hottie dad.

513. How long do we have to stay?

514. Rice krispie treats?

515. Ooh. - Whoa.

516. You can't believe how mad Bart was. Yes, i can,

517. 'cause you've told me about three times.

518. I wonder what they're gonna do to him.

519. I wish i could see his face. Hey, you know what? I've got some stories, too,

520. uh, about seeing my mother

521. for the first time since she left at Christmas.

522. I'm the worst girlfriend. No, you're not. No, you're not.

523. And there's the funny visit to my grandma

524. at the old folks' home—

525. I wanna be here right now with you.

526. And—and Nate. - What?

527. Hey, guys.

528. Hey. - Hey.

529. Sorry to interrupt. Your mom told me you guys were here.

530. Can i speak with you for one second, Dan?

531. Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

532. All right. Okay.

533. Hey, so have you spoken with your sister at all today?

534. No, no. Why? What's wrong? I-i don't know. She just called me.

535. She was really freaked out, didn't know where to turn.

536. She asked to borrow $8,000. What? Why?

537. Yeah, i don't know. I tried to get her

538. to tell me what was going on, but she wouldn't say anything.

539. Please? Dad, just get out, okay? I need to change!

540. I really just need to get out of this dress.

541. Uhh, it's stuck!

542. Okay, all right.

543. Just help me, okay? Help me get it off.

544. Jenny, you have to calm down. No, hurry up.

545. Did you get it? I need a pair of pliers.

546. Dad...

547. Sorry. Sorry. We were just looking for our wraps.

548. I'll get them.

549. Oh, my god.

550. That's my mother's dress.

551. No, you guys, i got this at—at resurrection.

552. Remember, i was telling you

553. Are you calling my daughter a thief?

554. Well— - excuse me.

555. This feels private, so I'm gonna head out now.

556. I have a table at butter.

557. Reservation's under Waldorf, in case there's an after party.

558. Spotted— Jenny in a red dress

559. with the red hands to match.

560. Looks like utter disgrace

561. is the name on the label.

562. Blair said they told you

563. the original party had fallen through

564. so that they could surprise you with a better one.

565. Blair's a liar. You got played.

566. She also said that you were afraid

567. the girls wouldn't accept everything about you.

568. She knew you were wrong. She wanted you to feel

569. like you had nothing to be ashamed of.

570. Was that a lie, too?

571. Where did you get the dress?

572. And i know you didn't make it,

573. because your sewing machine is gone.

574. You have no idea how hard it is, dad.

575. I sold my sewing machine, okay?

576. What? - Yeah, and a lamp and some jewelry.

577. Why?

578. Because i had to.

579. Dad, you think that you can just send me off to school

580. with a plaid skirt and a metrocard,

581. and everything will be okay. I am not apologizing

582. for not having a private plane for you, Jenny.

583. You think I'm ashamed of where i come from?

584. No, dad, what I'm ashamed of

585. is having to bring a brown-bag lunch to school,

586. and, you know, eat it in the bathroom,

587. and then go out with my friends

588. and pretend that I'm not hungry

589. when i go to lunch with them.

590. You don't have to do those things, Jenny.

591. You're making a choice.

592. What don't you get?

593. Do you want me to choose to have no friends?

594. Well, clearly,

595. i mean, that's not even a choice anymore,

596. because that's just done.

597. I should probably get back.

598. Well, thank you for staying with me

599. while i hid out from my house of horrors. Oh, no problem.

600. Oh, do you think Jenny will be all right? Yeah, Dan's a good guy.

601. He'll take care of her.

602. You are, too, you know, a good guy—

603. a forgiving guy

604. who can't pit himself against Blair forever.

605. Good night. I'm sorry. You gave me an opening.

606. I couldn't resist. I'm just saying.

607. How are you doing, man? Night.

608. Hey. - Hey.

609. Where have you been? - Therapy.

610. For four hours? Um, well, before i was—i was playing Wii tennis with Chuck

611. at this guy named brantforth's house?

612. Why are you hanging out with him?

613. Brantforth?

614. Chuck is fun, okay?

615. He's cool to me, and he doesn't treat me like some freak

616. that just out of the ostroff center. Who treats you like that?

617. Uh, guys at St. Jude's, the girls at constance,

618. sook at the Korean deli on 75th street. - Eric...

619. And he's not—he's not always careful around me,

620. like—like one bad thing, and I'll break or something.

621. Besides, i always wanted a brother.

622. I'm trying it out, you know? Here.

623. What's this? Chuck said it came for you this morning.

624. He thought you might want to open it out of the house,

625. just in case. Why didn't he bring it to me himself?

626. Because he thought you wanted him to stay away from you.

627. Whoa. Is that coke?

628. How do you like a brother who uses you as a drug mule?

629. Serena, I...

630. Hey. Who turned 12?

631. Oh, please don't rub it in.

632. Dad, what happened?

633. Hey.

634. - You okay?

635. You wanna tell me why you needed to borrow $8,000?

636. Not really.

637. Ugh, i can't believe Nate told you.

638. Well, he was worried about you,

639. that you might be turning into some hideous upper east cyborg.

640. He said that?

641. No. No, i did.

642. I just got in way over my head.

643. You know, i thought i could trade the dress

644. and wear it that night and return it,

645. but just...

646. Look, uh...

647. It's your birthday,

648. so i think we should get some ice cream,

649. and we can talk about all this stuff later, okay?

650. Okay.

651. I'll just let dad know what we're gonna do.

652. Jen, you—you have so much more to offer

653. than the things that those girls have, really.

654. You've got so much more to bring to the table.

655. You just need to find a way to believe that.

656. Okay?

657. What the hell is your problem?

658. Specify the context.

659. You disgust me, Chuck.

660. How dare you involve Eric in something like this?

661. No wonder you're friendless and girlfriendless.

662. Even your own father expects the worst from you. Well, you saw to that.

663. Listen, if we're gonna exist under the same roof,

664. What?

665. I'm moving back to my suite.

666. Bart thought it would be best

667. if the family bonded without me for a while.

668. there's a line outside.

669. You ready to give up you're table yet?

670. No. My party's coming.

671. They're coming!

672. These seats taken?

673. Any good general knows

674. you never let your soldiers see you sweat.

675. Look's like this battle's ending at butter,

676. and the win belongs to b.

677. Victory is sweet.

678. I don't want Jenny leaving this house any time soon, okay?

679. I-i know, dad, but it's, you know, it's her birthday,

680. and i kind of promised. Well, since you don't make the decisions around here,

681. Are you just gonna keep her locked up?

682. I don't know.

683. Last week, Aspen. This week, prison?

684. Yeah, well, spring break is over for everyone,

685. including myself.

686. I really took my eyes off the ball.

687. Uh, so—so what do you want to do?

688. Why don't we just celebrate 15

689. with some Jenny cake in the kitchen?

690. Okay. All right. I'll go tell her.

691. So, Jen, w—

692. she's gone.

693. What?

694. She's not in there. She's gone.

695. Hey.

696. Uh, I'm sorry for calling you like that earlier.

697. I'm so embarrassed.

698. I mean, it was stupid and—and inappropriate—

699. no, no, no, no. Listen, I'm just glad you're okay.

700. Yeah.

701. Um, okay, well, i do have a favor to ask you.

702. I mean, it's not money,

703. but i just really don't want to be alone on my birthday.

704. Oh, for me? Thank you.

705. Oh, my god.

706. What's wrong?

707. Nothing.

708. I'll be back.

709. Excuse me.

710. Excuse me!

711. I'm going to the bar.

712. What?

713. Bar!

714. We'll be right back.

715. where are all the hot guys?

716. I don't know.

717. Uh, they don't exactly serve tea and cupcakes here, Jenny. 20 minutes.

718. Is this really happening?

719. Penelope, you know Nate, right?

720. Of course. Hi.

721. Hi. Uh, how are you?

722. Hazel, i think maybe your mom

723. did give away that Valentino.

724. Yeah, she is always cleaning out her closet,

725. and that ativan can really play with her memory.

726. hey.

727. I'm really sorry, Chuck.

728. I know it wasn't you who sent me that stuff.

729. Never thought I'd say this,

730. but it turns out Chuck bass is innocent.

731. So who did send s. All those naughty gifts?

732. why don't i make you a drink?