1. Gossip girl
here—your one and only source
Copy !req
2. into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.
At what point do we admit
Copy !req
3. that no matter how much
we want it or how hard we try...
Copy !req
4. It's just not working.
Copy !req
5. You're going back to Hudson,
aren't you?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
6. Rufus, why are you calling?
Copy !req
7. I miss you.
Copy !req
8. Mom,
you cannot date Bart bass.
Copy !req
9. You said a moment ago
you didn't care who it was.
He raised Chuck.
Copy !req
10. Just thought i should
let you know someone's watching.
Copy !req
11. Chuck, you are
not answering my calls.
Copy !req
12. Please, for the love of god,
do not tell anybody about us.
Copy !req
13. And who am i?
Copy !req
14. That's a secret
I'll never tell.
Copy !req
15. You know you love me.
Copy !req
16. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.
Copy !req
17. on the Upper East Side,
it's easy to think
Copy !req
18. that the world
is exactly as it appears—
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19. refined, elegant, imposing.
Copy !req
20. But sometimes,
all it takes is a little key
Copy !req
21. to open the door
to the wild side.
Copy !req
22. Nate.
- Why have you
been avoiding me?
Copy !req
23. Avoiding you? What?
Copy !req
24. Ever since
i got back from Monaco,
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25. you've been—you're not
returning my calls or my texts.
Copy !req
26. I've barely seen you.
Really? I don't recall.
Copy !req
27. Oh? Well, do you recall that
night after the debutante ball
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28. yes, i do.
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29. Blair?
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30. What are you doing?
- This.
Copy !req
31. Good catching up.
Copy !req
32. Enough with the blackmail.
Aren't you bored already?
Copy !req
33. I can't avoid Nate forever.
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34. Excuse me.
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35. I didn't say forever.
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36. Just until the sight
of the two of you together
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37. doesn't turn my stomach.
And when will that be?
Copy !req
38. Only time will tell,
I'm afraid.
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39. So unless you want
dear Nathaniel to know how
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40. you lost your virginity to me
in the back of a moving vehicle,
Copy !req
41. i encourage Patience
and restraint.
Copy !req
42. Isn't there someone else
you can torture?
Copy !req
43. Probably,
Copy !req
44. but i choose you.
Copy !req
45. why don't i turn that, uh,
one-piece into a no-piece?
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46. Find a floatie
to talk to, Chuck.
Copy !req
47. You know,
if my dad and your mom
Copy !req
48. come back from South Africa
tomorrow engaged,
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49. we'll be brother and sister.
And you know what they say—
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50. the family that plays together
stays together.
Copy !req
51. Ah, incest—
the universal taboo.
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52. One of the, um, only ones
you haven't violated.
Well, I'm game if you are.
Copy !req
53. Dan Humphrey, age 17,
Copy !req
54. enjoying an exotic meal
of cheerios
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55. on an exciting
Saturday night in.
Copy !req
56. Come on. Be interesting.
Copy !req
57. You don't want me
to move back to Vermont, do you?
Copy !req
58. No,
but if your whole future
Copy !req
59. depends on getting this Grant
for your documentary,
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60. i-i really, really think
you should find a new subject.
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61. Absolutely not.
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62. The outsider goes inside—
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63. a likable everyman's pursuit
of his dream girl
Copy !req
64. begins his descent
into the bowels of hell.
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65. This is mythic stuff.
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66. Okay,
not big on the soundtrack.
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67. Whatever movie he's scoring
sounds depressing.
- Yeah, i think it's a biopic.
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68. Try listening to that
for three weeks straight.
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69. But before Christmas, my dad
hadn't finished a song in years,
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70. so i really don't have the heart
to ask him to stop.
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71. Well, i do.
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72. Hey, Serena.
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73. Yes! Finally some action.
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74. Hey. What are you up to...
Besides missing me?
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75. Oh, uh, just wondering
if you're missing me.
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76. Aw!
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77. Well, of course i am,
Copy !req
78. at this party that would be
a lot more fun if you were here.
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79. Party? I thought it was
a quiet night with Blair,
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80. your last night at her place
before your mom comes home?
Yeah, we were,
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81. and then kati and is showed up,
and we all went out,
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82. and we ran into some people
and then ended up here.
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83. Where—where's here?
719 e. 82nd street.
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84. Wait a second. That's, um...
That's school, is it not?
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85. Bring your bathing suit!
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86. You're swimming?
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87. No, you hung up.
Copy !req
88. So what will it be, Dan—
cheerios and chaucer
Copy !req
89. or an illegal party
at your prep school pool with
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90. your high society girlfriend
and her nasty cohorts?
Dad?
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91. Vanessa and i
are—are going out.
All right.
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92. Well, uh,
if you wanted to get
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93. the perfect shot of me
feeling like an outsider,
Copy !req
94. then I'm ready
for my close-up.
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95. Dan! Oh!
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96. Hey.
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97. Hey!
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98. Hey, Vanessa.
- Hey.
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99. Come on, guys.
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100. Hey, get off me.
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101. Help!
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102. Call the ambulance!
(Dan) Call an ambulance.
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103. Someone call 9-1-1.
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104. Hi. Hi. We—we need—
we need an ambulance.
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105. Yeah, a-a kid—
he—he hit his head,
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106. and—and he fell in the pool.
Copy !req
107. It—it's 719, uh,
east 82nd street.
Copy !req
108. Thanks to the cell phone
that somebody left behind,
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109. we've got plenty of evidence
of who was at the party.
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110. Lucky for you,
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111. Andrew Collins
is going to be fine.
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112. Unlucky for you, we need
to hold someone responsible.
Copy !req
113. Ms. queller?
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114. Hello.
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115. I'm Ms. queller,
Copy !req
116. the new headmistress
at constance.
Copy !req
117. It's unfortunate that we meet
under these circumstances.
Copy !req
118. But i look forward
to getting to know
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119. each and every one of you.
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120. I've already
talked to your parents...
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121. At least, those i could reach,
Copy !req
122. and look forward to reading
your personal essays—
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123. 10,000 words
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124. describing how you came to be
on school property after hours,
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125. using alcohol and drugs,
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126. where a fellow student
almost died.
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127. In other words,
what the hell is wrong with you?
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128. I'll also be conducting
one-on-one interviews
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129. until i discover
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130. who broke into the pool
and initiated the party.
Copy !req
131. That person will be expelled.
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132. If that person
is not identified,
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133. then you'll all face expulsion.
Copy !req
134. So we all know
how this works.
Copy !req
135. Look, no one talks,
no one gets into trouble.
Copy !req
136. Who did break in, anyway?
I guess
we don't have to worry
Copy !req
137. about Nate
cracking under pressure.
Copy !req
138. So are we all agreed?
Copy !req
139. Agreed.
Copy !req
140. Look, Blair, i-i know you have
your sights set on Yale,
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141. but this—this skull and bones
stuff is a bit much,
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142. don't you think?
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143. Maybe, but it works...
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144. Every time.
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145. You know, when someone
says "every time,"
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146. it sounds like—like—like
more than a few times.
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147. Everything's gonna be fine.
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148. Were you just
in the same assembly as me?
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149. Do you really think
she's gonna expel
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150. two-thirds
of the junior class?
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151. Look, i got you into this.
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152. I'm gonna get you out of it,
okay? Trust me.
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153. There's a weak link
in every chain,
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154. and it's just a matter of time
before this one snaps.
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155. I'm innocent.
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156. Well... except for
a crime of passion.
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157. I did something stupid
with someone.
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158. And even worse
than doing that stupid thing,
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159. i did the same stupid thing
with someone else
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160. and pretended i had never done
that stupid thing before.
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161. You look confused.
Should i walk you through it?
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162. Let's stay on point.
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163. I reviewed your record.
It's pristine.
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164. If constance has a shining star,
it's Blair Waldorf.
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165. I would never
have expected this from you.
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166. I know. I'm the perfect one.
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167. Ms. Waldorf,
who broke into the pool?
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168. Like you said, my unfortunate
participation in said party
Copy !req
169. was entirely
out of character.
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170. I don't know anything
about it.
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171. You're taking that paper
seriously.
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172. This isn't a paper. It's...
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173. It's a heartfelt letter
to Blair.
A heartfelt letter?
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174. Who spayed you, man?
Blair doesn't even want you.
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175. She's been crystal about that
since we got back.
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176. Didn't seem that way
when she kissed me at the pool.
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177. She kissed you?
Well, i kissed her, but...
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178. Yep.
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179. What was she like? Into it?
Copy !req
180. Or was she more like—
of course she was into it, man.
What do you think?
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181. Yeah, i know, but, uh...
You know Blair...
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182. Yes, i do.
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183. I think she wants me
to suffer a little more.
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184. You know,
even the playing field?
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185. It's worth it,
believe me.
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186. Hey, dad. Listen, uh,
i-i got your 1,001 messages.
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187. I just haven't had a chance
to get back to ya.
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
Copy !req
188. and apparently, some of the kids
who were at the party
Copy !req
189. Dan, don't think for a second
Copy !req
190. these other kids aren't gonna
be looking out for themselves.
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191. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
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192. I just got a message
that our kids are in
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193. some kind of trouble at school.
And you came all the way
to Brooklyn to talk about it?
Copy !req
194. No, no, not about that.
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195. Um, Bart and i
just landed at the airport
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196. back from our trip,
and he proposed,
Copy !req
197. and I'm going to say yes.
Copy !req
198. I wanted you
to hear it from me first,
Copy !req
199. not from my daughter
or your son.
Copy !req
200. you left me
on Christmas day,
Copy !req
201. i didn't get it until
we were already on the plane.
Copy !req
202. It was very endearing,
though.
Copy !req
203. But not enough
to turn the g5 around?
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204. You miss me. That's great.
I miss you, too.
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205. What? You kissed me
at Eleanor's party,
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206. and then you say
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207. you can't see me anymore
because your wife came home,
Copy !req
208. and then you call and say
you should've never let me go,
Copy !req
209. and then you're
back with Alison again.
Copy !req
210. I didn't plan any of that.
That is just it with you, Rufus.
You don't even plan anything.
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211. Well, I'm sure
that your current plan
Copy !req
212. will be full of private jets
and 5-star hotels.
Copy !req
213. Take care, Rufus.
Copy !req
214. Do you really have
to show this to me now?
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215. Trust me when i say
you're gonna wanna see this
Copy !req
216. before you enter
Blair Waldorf's evil lair.
It's a homework group, Vanessa.
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217. We're just gonna be
writing papers, you know?
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218. Here.
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219. I wasn't sure what it was
Copy !req
220. till i got it home and saw it
on the computer, but—
okay, that's Chuck. Wh—wh...
Copy !req
221. What are you holding here?
It's a key.
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222. Spotted—lonely boy learning
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223. that when the punishment
fits the crime,
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224. there's no reason you can't
serve your sentence in style.
Copy !req
225. Yay! You're here.
I thought we were gonna
work on our papers.
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226. We are.
One night at bilboquet,
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227. kati and is made out with a guy
in Cornell's ethics program.
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228. They're getting tips now.
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229. I thought i told you
you couldn't film me.
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230. Come here.
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231. You are so naive.
Michael Moore over there
Copy !req
232. is obviously just using
this film to get close to Dan.
No, she needs that Grant money.
Copy !req
233. so did you bring
your legal pad?
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234. You wait here. I'll find us
a quiet place to work.
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235. Okay.
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236. I can't believe
you brought that here.
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237. It's evidence.
Give it to me.
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238. Chuck.
Copy !req
239. You need to tell the truth.
Copy !req
240. Whatever happened to
"don't speak until spoken to"?
Copy !req
241. I just saw you with that key.
I know you had it at the party.
Copy !req
242. Poor little Humphrey dumpty.
Copy !req
243. Look, let me clarify something
for you.
Copy !req
244. Regardless of who you're
currently sleeping with,
Copy !req
245. you and i come
from different worlds.
Copy !req
246. In my world,
if I'm suspended or expelled,
Copy !req
247. a wing is donated
in the bass name.
Copy !req
248. That sounds like
quite a world.
Copy !req
249. Well, it's not perfect,
I'll admit.
Copy !req
250. But one thing it does offer
in spades is security.
Copy !req
251. My family can take care
of me.
Copy !req
252. What do the Humphreys have
to offer?
Copy !req
253. Used metrocards?
Copy !req
254. Your dad's cassingle?
Copy !req
255. And in case
you were wondering, you narc,
Copy !req
256. i only took the key
from the party to hide it
Copy !req
257. so we didn't all get blamed...
Including you.
Copy !req
258. Blair.
- Nate.
What are you doing here?
Copy !req
259. I, uh, wanted to talk to you.
I brought you this.
Copy !req
260. It's a love letter.
Copy !req
261. A hostess can't hide
in her room. It's unladylike.
Copy !req
262. Hey. Hey,
where are you going?
Copy !req
263. No, the guy has a point,
actually.
Copy !req
264. Maybe the reason none of
you guys take this seriously
Copy !req
265. Vanessa, please, some space.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Copy !req
266. Look, I'm all for loyalty
Copy !req
267. and I'm all
for sticking together,
Copy !req
268. but we are not
in the same boat here.
Copy !req
269. I'm on a partial scholarship.
My parents have no way
Copy !req
270. of buying my way back
into this school, or any other.
Copy !req
271. And i know this isn't going
to be a popular opinion
Copy !req
272. with—with your
band of brothers,
Copy !req
273. but if the person who brought
that key refuses to step up,
Copy !req
274. then anybody who knows anything
has the right to say something.
Copy !req
275. Do—do you know who it is?
Copy !req
276. You do, don't you, and you're
not gonna say anything?
Copy !req
277. Dan, please.
You don't understand.
Copy !req
278. You're right.
I-i mean, i don't understand.
Copy !req
279. Hey, let go of me, bass.
Drop your Archibald habit
first.
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280. You know i already have.
Really? A kiss does sort of
send the wrong signal.
Copy !req
281. Let's not waste time denying.
Copy !req
282. You know what? I'm tired
of this. Go ahead and tell him.
Really?
Copy !req
283. You want me to tell him
how you slept with me
Copy !req
284. And who do you think
he'll believe?
Copy !req
285. You, who bangs anything
in his field of vision,
Copy !req
286. or me, his pure and honest
girlfriend of many years?
Well, now he'll believe me.
Copy !req
287. Why?
Copy !req
288. I have proof.
Copy !req
289. Good eye, docu-girl.
I'll take the tape now.
Copy !req
290. You knew she was watching?
Copy !req
291. This is my house.
That tape belongs to me.
Copy !req
292. Actually, this is my footage,
and thanks to both of you,
Copy !req
293. If you think I'm gonna...
Let go of me.
Copy !req
294. Let you walk out of here
with that tape, you're crazy.
Hey!
Copy !req
295. Last time i checked,
i still owe you a black eye.
Copy !req
296. So unless this is you coming
to claim it, stay away from her.
Copy !req
297. Now that sex and lies
have been caught on videotape,
Copy !req
298. v.'S documentary just became
Copy !req
299. the most anticipated
new release of the year.
Copy !req
300. from the courtyard this time.
Well, i can see that.
Copy !req
301. I told you.
Out of respect for—
respect or regret?
Copy !req
302. You wanted me
to give you a reason
Copy !req
303. not to spend the rest
of your life with Bart bass.
Rufus...
Copy !req
304. I'm still in love with you.
Copy !req
305. So what exactly
are you offering, Rufus?
Copy !req
306. Some retrospective
Copy !req
307. of the way we were
over a decade ago?
Copy !req
308. Look, we're not 20
and on the road.
Copy !req
309. Thank god we're not,
because your mother
Copy !req
310. made this decision for you
back then, remember?
- Yes. Mm.
Copy !req
311. Look...
Copy !req
312. I don't know exactly
Copy !req
313. what it would even mean
for us to be together.
Copy !req
314. But can you look at me
Copy !req
315. and tell me you're not
the least bit curious?
Copy !req
316. You're at the same crossroads
you were years ago.
Copy !req
317. Claim your life this time.
Copy !req
318. Live it the way
you want to live it.
Copy !req
319. I did it.
I broke into the school.
Copy !req
320. After all your family
has been through this year,
Copy !req
321. I'm surprised to learn
Copy !req
322. that you're behind
something like this.
Copy !req
323. I know, i know.
And i apologize.
Copy !req
324. From what i can see,
you always seem to be
Copy !req
325. toeing the line of mediocrity,
Nathaniel.
Copy !req
326. Your grades are average at best,
almost as though
Copy !req
327. you're not committed to school
or your future.
Copy !req
328. Can we just move on
Copy !req
329. to the punishment part
of this meeting, please?
Copy !req
330. Certainly.
Copy !req
331. But I'm curious.
Copy !req
332. Can you please describe
how you broke into the school?
Copy !req
333. I can do better.
I can show you.
Copy !req
334. And how did you get access
to this key?
Copy !req
335. You're not on the swim team.
Not a janitor, right?
- No.
Copy !req
336. Where's the key chain?
The key chain?
Copy !req
337. Do you remember its color?
Size?
Copy !req
338. What it's made of?
Copy !req
339. Anything at all?
Copy !req
340. Who are you trying
to protect?
Copy !req
341. May i have a word?
Copy !req
342. Off camera.
Copy !req
343. Uh, sure. But i think i know
what you're gonna say.
Copy !req
344. And i can save you
the indignity of groveling
Copy !req
345. by telling you right now—no way
are you gonna get that tape.
Copy !req
346. I wasn't going to grovel,
Copy !req
347. and the fact that you even
went there makes it clear
Copy !req
348. Blackball me from eating yogurt
on the met steps?
Copy !req
349. You have nothing i need.
You put that footage
in your film,
Copy !req
350. you won't be able to show it.
I won't sign a release.
Copy !req
351. I'm not looking for
a distribution deal,
Copy !req
352. just a local arts Grant
so i can pay my rent.
Copy !req
353. Now if you'll excuse me...
Copy !req
354. You're in my shot.
Copy !req
355. What's that,
your stripper money?
Copy !req
356. $10,000 for the tape.
Copy !req
357. You think I'd take
your money?
Copy !req
358. Yes, i do.
I know girls like you.
Copy !req
359. You act like
money's not important.
Copy !req
360. The truth is,
money's important to everyone.
Copy !req
361. And i thought Blair
was manipulative.
Copy !req
362. Blair's an amateur.
She thinks you're just like her.
Copy !req
363. To Blair,
Copy !req
364. this money is a couple pairs
of manolos and a Chanel bag.
Copy !req
365. But i know
that this much cash
Copy !req
366. can make a real difference
in your life.
Copy !req
367. You're sick.
Copy !req
368. You're welcome.
Copy !req
369. Who knew b. And c.
Were such patrons of the arts?
Copy !req
370. Call it philanthropy
or bribery.
Copy !req
371. It looks like
everyone has their price.
Copy !req
372. Something on your mind,
Lily?
Copy !req
373. Uh...
Copy !req
374. Yeah?
Copy !req
375. What are you saying?
Copy !req
376. I'm sorry. It's Sheldon.
Copy !req
377. He has those numbers
i was asking for.
Copy !req
378. Do you mind?
Copy !req
379. No.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
380. Just make sure he gets it
at the current rate.
Copy !req
381. The dollar's
been all over the place.
Copy !req
382. Hello?
Copy !req
383. I was thinking
about what you said.
Copy !req
384. Let's do it.
Copy !req
385. Let's see what we are.
Let's see what we could be.
Copy !req
386. Who is this?
- Rufus...
Copy !req
387. Lily, this is great.
Do you know how great this is?
Copy !req
388. Let's get away
from everyone, everything,
Copy !req
389. just figure it out.
Wh-where would we go?
Copy !req
390. Who cares?
Copy !req
391. Okay, sounds like a plan.
Copy !req
392. Um... 90th and 5th. 6:00?
Copy !req
393. Okay.
Copy !req
394. I'm scared, Rufus...
Copy !req
395. In a good way.
Copy !req
396. Me, too.
Copy !req
397. Settle down, please.
Copy !req
398. Yesterday, i talked about
the serious consequences...
Proof. Worth every penny.
Copy !req
399. For your dishonorable actions,
Copy !req
400. and obviously,
you didn't believe me.
Copy !req
401. But someone came forward today
and claimed responsibility...
Copy !req
402. Do you know who?
Copy !req
403. For a crime he did not commit.
Copy !req
404. And although i appreciate
his self-sacrifice,
Copy !req
405. i don't abide dishonesty.
Copy !req
406. And i think it's time
you all know how serious i am.
Copy !req
407. Nathaniel Archibald
is suspended from St. Jude's.
Copy !req
408. And, yes, this will go on
his transcript.
Copy !req
409. Effective immediately.
Copy !req
410. Mr. Archibald,
Copy !req
411. you know where
to find the exit.
Copy !req
412. This just in—Nate Archibald,
dead man walking.
Copy !req
413. We hear St. Jude's
has a new policy—
Copy !req
414. an eye for a lie.
Copy !req
415. Watch him go, students.
Copy !req
416. Who wants to be next?
Copy !req
417. Until one of you comes forward,
we'll keep going
Copy !req
418. until every last one of you
has walked out that door.
Copy !req
419. I don't believe this.
Copy !req
420. Dan, it's okay.
Serena, i-i can't—
i can't get expelled.
Copy !req
421. I cannot get suspended.
Copy !req
422. My whole future
is riding on this.
Copy !req
423. If you know who broke in,
then why won't you give them up?
Copy !req
424. Because it was me.
Copy !req
425. So why—why didn't you
tell me right away?
Copy !req
426. 'Cause i didn't want you
to judge me.
- Aren't we already beyond that?
Copy !req
427. And i didn't want you to know
because i didn't want you
Copy !req
428. to have to be in
the position you're in now
Copy !req
429. of having to choose between
Copy !req
430. protecting me
and helping yourself.
So how'd you even get in?
Copy !req
431. I have a key.
You had a key to the pool?
Copy !req
432. All right, what happened
to being beyond this?
Copy !req
433. Sorry.
Copy !req
434. The end of freshman year,
Copy !req
435. i kind of dated
the swim team captain,
Copy !req
436. and he gave me a key
so that we could...
Copy !req
437. You know, meet up, and...
That's—enough said.
Copy !req
438. And Saturday night—
what happened then?
Copy !req
439. Well, Blair and i
ran out of places to go,
Copy !req
440. and she knew
i still had a key,
Copy !req
441. and... before i knew it,
it's like we were all there.
Copy !req
442. And i thought it was
just gonna be us girls.
Copy !req
443. And then everybody
got on their phone,
Copy !req
444. and more people started
showing up, and...
Copy !req
445. I just never thought
anybody was gonna get hurt.
Copy !req
446. Yeah. Well, you can still
tell queller the truth.
Copy !req
447. I think she'll respect
your honesty.
- Yeah, like she respected Nate's?
Copy !req
448. No, Nate lied.
Copy !req
449. And besides,
you're Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Copy !req
450. You didn't know me
before i went away.
Copy !req
451. I barely got back
into constance.
Copy !req
452. If i got expelled,
Copy !req
453. i don't think any school
in town would take me.
Copy !req
454. I'm sure that's not true.
Copy !req
455. I can't risk going back
to boarding school,
Copy !req
456. being away from you and Eric.
Copy !req
457. But i don't want you
to lose your future.
Copy !req
458. Wow. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
459. You really can be
Copy !req
460. damned if you do
and screwed if you don't.
Copy !req
461. Dan Humphrey,
Copy !req
462. headmistress queller
is requesting
Copy !req
463. to see you in her office
after class.
Copy !req
464. Nate.
Copy !req
465. Hey.
- Are you okay?
Copy !req
466. Yeah, I'll be fine.
It's, uh...
Copy !req
467. My parents have so much other
stuff going on right now...
Copy !req
468. They'll get over it.
Either way, it was worth it.
Copy !req
469. Worth it?
Yes. Blair, i know how much
your future means to you.
Copy !req
470. And you've worked so hard
for Yale and everything—
Copy !req
471. what are you talking about?
Copy !req
472. You don't have to lie.
I saw the key in your bedroom.
Copy !req
473. That key isn't mine.
Copy !req
474. I was just hiding it
for someone else.
Copy !req
475. Wait...
Copy !req
476. That's why
you were suspended?
Copy !req
477. You told the headmistress
it was yours
Copy !req
478. because you thought
it was mine?
Copy !req
479. That's the most romantic thing
anyone has ever done for me.
Copy !req
480. I love you.
Copy !req
481. Please. You and i just
can't happen right now.
Copy !req
482. Why not?
Copy !req
483. I don't want to be with you.
Copy !req
484. Good catching up.
Copy !req
485. You're home early.
Copy !req
486. Please don't tell me
you're expelled.
Not yet.
Copy !req
487. Your position at that school
is already too precarious.
Copy !req
488. One false move,
and you know what?
Copy !req
489. I can't do anything
to help you.
I know. I know.
Copy !req
490. I just wanna
hide under the covers
Copy !req
491. and make it all go away.
And apparently, you do, too.
Copy !req
492. You and Bart just got back.
Why are you packing again?
Copy !req
493. Well, i was just gonna go
for a, you know,
Copy !req
494. a little spa trip
for the weekend.
Copy !req
495. 'Cause you're so stressed out
from your vacation?
Copy !req
496. Aren't you gonna answer that?
No, i don't think so.
Copy !req
497. Mom,
is Dan's dad the reason
Copy !req
498. you haven't answered
Bart's proposal?
Copy !req
499. You can't.
Copy !req
500. Please, mom, not this one.
Copy !req
501. Look, i will not base
my personal life
Copy !req
502. on your preferences.
Copy !req
503. Dan is my boyfriend.
Copy !req
504. And i know we're too young
to talk about forever,
Copy !req
505. but right now
that's what it feels like.
Copy !req
506. I know it does, sweetie,
but—
- but what?
Copy !req
507. Tell me that Rufus
is that important to you.
Copy !req
508. Tell me that whatever
the two of you have
Copy !req
509. is the most important thing
in your life,
Copy !req
510. because that's what
Dan is to me, mom.
Copy !req
511. The most important.
Copy !req
512. I would rather be
Chuck's stepsister than Dan's.
Copy !req
513. Please don't do this to me.
Copy !req
514. Dan means that much to you?
Copy !req
515. Yeah, he does.
Copy !req
516. In fact, i have to go.
Wait. Where?
Copy !req
517. School. There's something
i have to do.
Copy !req
518. And i hope there's something
you have to do, too.
Copy !req
519. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
520. I brought this for you.
Copy !req
521. What's the catch?
Copy !req
522. I know this might
come as a shock,
Copy !req
523. but not everyone operates
from an agenda.
Copy !req
524. In fact,
some people do things
Copy !req
525. simply because
it's the decent thing to do.
Copy !req
526. Smash it, burn it, whatever.
There are no copies.
Copy !req
527. What about
the one you gave to Chuck?
Copy !req
528. It's blank, which I'm sure
he'll be thrilled to discover.
Copy !req
529. And about what's on that tape—
having observed you
Copy !req
530. in your natural habitat
these past few days...
Copy !req
531. Nate seems like
one of the good guys,
Copy !req
532. and you seem
to really care about him.
Copy !req
533. Mr. Humphrey, you have a partial
scholarship at St. Jude's.
Copy !req
534. You are number two
in your class,
Copy !req
535. have a stellar recommendation
for dartmouth from j.L. Hall.
Copy !req
536. It looks as if your dreams
are well within grasp.
Copy !req
537. Thank you, thank you.
Yeah, i guess they are.
Copy !req
538. But it seems you're in
with a new crowd this year,
Copy !req
539. dating
Serena Van Der Woodsen...
Copy !req
540. Is that on my file?
Copy !req
541. Who had the key
to the school?
Copy !req
542. I don't know.
Copy !req
543. Let me remind you
one last time
Copy !req
544. that you are in a different
position than the others.
Copy !req
545. You need this school.
Copy !req
546. Headmistress queller,
i have something to tell you.
Copy !req
547. I must say, your file
reads more like a rap sheet.
Copy !req
548. You cut more sophomore classes
than you attended,
Copy !req
549. That's why
it's important to me
Copy !req
550. that you know—
you being new here—
Copy !req
551. that the person
that you just described
Copy !req
552. is not who i am anymore.
Copy !req
553. Oh, no? Who are you now?
Copy !req
554. Well, my grades are up,
Copy !req
555. my attendance
is nearly perfect,
Copy !req
556. and I've stayed
out of trouble.
Copy !req
557. Until now.
Copy !req
558. Please understand
Copy !req
559. that i never intended
for anything bad to happen.
Copy !req
560. And it may have taken some time,
but i am here now,
Copy !req
561. accepting responsibility
for my actions.
Copy !req
562. Whatever you think is fair.
Copy !req
563. Yes, let's discuss the...
Copy !req
564. Consequences.
Copy !req
565. ahem.
Copy !req
566. I'll be brief.
Copy !req
567. And...
Copy !req
568. I'll be not interested.
Is that how you speak
to the person
Copy !req
569. who just paid your rent
for a year?
What did you just say?
Copy !req
570. Congratulations, Vanessa.
Copy !req
571. You just won 365 more days
in your Ikea-furnished closet.
Copy !req
572. You went to my building?
You talked to my landlord?
Copy !req
573. No, i don't speak
Ukrainian,
Copy !req
574. but i do speak
envelope of cash.
Copy !req
575. And he understood me
perfectly.
Copy !req
576. I can't believe you.
Blair Waldorf
is not indebted to anyone,
Copy !req
577. no matter how much
i appreciate what you did.
Copy !req
578. You're welcome, i guess?
Copy !req
579. Good. Now this transaction
is finished,
Copy !req
580. and I'm free to return
to disliking you.
Copy !req
581. I wouldn't have it
any other way.
Copy !req
582. Oh, and one more thing.
Copy !req
583. If you didn't
pay your rent with it,
Copy !req
584. what did you do
with Chuck's money?
Copy !req
585. I may have created
Copy !req
586. a medical Grant for teens
with genital herpes...
Copy !req
587. In his name.
Copy !req
588. I can't believe
she didn't expel me.
Copy !req
589. Yeah, i know.
It's shocking.
Copy !req
590. I—you—25 hours
of community outreach.
Copy !req
591. That's not bad at all.
Copy !req
592. I mean, i probably
would've done it anyway
Copy !req
593. being as I'm on the committee.
That had occurred to me.
Yeah.
Copy !req
594. Wait. What are you saying?
Copy !req
595. No, no, I'm not saying
anything. Believe me.
Copy !req
596. So you don't buy
what she said
Copy !req
597. about me being the poster child
for the new honor code?
Copy !req
598. Look, i know for a fact
Copy !req
599. my mom didn't plead my case
or donate anything, okay?
I didn't say a thing.
Copy !req
600. Are you really turning this
Copy !req
601. into an "upstairs, downstairs"
thing?
Copy !req
602. No. No, you are.
I'm being completely silent.
Copy !req
603. I'm just happy
that you're not being expelled
Copy !req
604. or leaving town anytime soon.
Are you hungry? We should...
Always.
Copy !req
605. But you still believe that
there's a double standard,
Copy !req
606. that people like me
get special treatment.
Copy !req
607. Ms. Van Der Woodsen. Your mother
sent me to pick you up.
Copy !req
608. Oh. Great.
Copy !req
609. That was... thoughtful.
Copy !req
610. I think you get
no special treatment at all.
Copy !req
611. Your life is completely
uncharmed and... average.
Copy !req
612. It's okay. I'll walk.
Copy !req
613. No, come on. I'm—i was kidding.
I was kidding.
Copy !req
614. You going to Brooklyn?
Copy !req
615. It's a rare occasion
Copy !req
616. to celebrate
the merging of two families.
Copy !req
617. And i couldn't be happier
to be here tonight
Copy !req
618. to celebrate Lily's acceptance
of my proposal.
Copy !req
619. so to my lovely bride
Copy !req
620. and our growing family.
Copy !req
621. you packed light.
Copy !req
622. Please try to understand.
Copy !req
623. I think i do.
Copy !req
624. I'm just sorry.
Copy !req
625. so am i.
Copy !req
626. mom looks about as happy
as grandma at last call.
- I know.
Copy !req
627. It seems Bart's personality—
or lack thereof—is contagious.
Copy !req
628. I don't even know
Copy !req
629. how she breathes with her blouse
buttoned that high.
Copy !req
630. How glad are you to see
our families merge, sis?
Copy !req
631. So glad that if you ever
call me that again,
Copy !req
632. it'll be the last thing
you ever say, Chuck.
Copy !req
633. I love it—our first
brother/sister squabble.
Copy !req
634. I hope you're going
to make yourself available
Copy !req
635. for more missed childhood
memories—
Copy !req
636. bathing together,
for example.
Copy !req
637. (Dvorák's "romantic pieces
opus 75" playing
Copy !req
638. you're probably wondering
why i asked you here.
Copy !req
639. After our last conversation,
yeah.
Copy !req
640. Do you think it's possible
Copy !req
641. for two people who have been
through as much as we have
Copy !req
642. to really
forgive and forget?
Copy !req
643. If we really want to,
i think we can.
Copy !req
644. A lot of mistakes
have been made.
Copy !req
645. If you're ready
to forgive me...
Copy !req
646. Then nothing
can tear us apart.
Copy !req
647. I promise.
Copy !req
648. What you said before...
Copy !req
649. I love you, too.
Copy !req
650. Always have, always will.
Copy !req
651. So...
Copy !req
652. Your new stepbrother told me
about your problem at school.
Copy !req
653. Frankly, i wasn't surprised,
Copy !req
654. given your propensity for
recklessness and adventure.
Copy !req
655. I'm sorry?
Copy !req
656. Don't tell your mother,
but i made a call.
Copy !req
657. You did what?
It was harder than usual.
Copy !req
658. That new headmistress of yours
is a real piece of work.
Copy !req
659. I had to go over her head.
Copy !req
660. Sorry i couldn't get the charges
completely dropped, but, um...
Copy !req
661. At least
i got you a minimal sentence.
Copy !req
662. One thing
about being on the inside—
Copy !req
663. once you get there,
Copy !req
664. you don't always get to choose
where you stand... or sit.
Copy !req
665. I was just
looking out for my family.
Copy !req
666. The new
Van Der woodsen/bass library
Copy !req
667. should be completed
for Eric's graduation.
Copy !req
668. I can see that Lily and i
Copy !req
669. are gonna have our hands full
with the two of you.
Copy !req
670. Will you excuse me?
I need some air.
Copy !req
671. Sometimes you need
to step outside,
Copy !req
672. clear your head
Copy !req
673. and remind yourself
of who you are...
Copy !req
674. And where you want to be.
Copy !req
675. hey.
Aren't you supposed to be
at your mom's engagement thing?
Copy !req
676. Yeah, well,
i had to get out of there.
Copy !req
677. It was getting a little hard
to breathe, you know?
Copy !req
678. Those parties
can be that way.
Copy !req
679. So are you, um,
packing up your music?
Copy !req
680. Nah. I just...
Copy !req
681. Need to find something new
to write about.
Copy !req
682. And i will.
Copy !req
683. Hey.
You're a little overdressed
Copy !req
684. for the study date
i didn't know we had.
Copy !req
685. You were right
about everything.
Copy !req
686. You wanna talk about it?
Copy !req
687. can i just sit here with you
for a while?
Copy !req
688. Yeah.
Copy !req
689. chaucer?
Yeah, i got a test on Friday.
Copy !req
690. Mine's Thursday.
Copy !req
691. and sometimes you have
to venture outside your world
Copy !req
692. in order to find yourself.
Copy !req
693. As for me,
I'm happy right where i am.
Copy !req
694. I only wanna be with you.
Copy !req
695. X.O.X.O., gossip girl.
Copy !req