1. I'm requisitioning some demons.Copy !req
2. - Oh, yeah.
- I have full authorization from Beelzebub.Copy !req
3. I can launch
a demonic invasion upon London.Copy !req
4. Demons?Copy !req
5. I want only the worst, I want
the worst of the worst, I want killers.Copy !req
6. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
7. Right, so how many?Copy !req
8. 10,000 demons.Copy !req
9. Sorry, I thought you said 10,000.Copy !req
10. - Are you actually going through with this?
- Indeed, I am.Copy !req
11. Can I watch?Copy !req
12. Oh, that's most appropriate.Copy !req
13. I'll need you to bring
that with you tonight.Copy !req
14. - Mm-hmm?
- Oh, it's very important.Copy !req
15. 'Cause I'll need musicians at the Whickber
Street Traders and Shopkeepers AssociationCopy !req
16. monthly meeting this evening.Copy !req
17. I trust we'll see you there,
with your harpsichord.Copy !req
18. Erm... no, thank you.Copy !req
19. There will be sandwiches.Copy !req
20. I went to one meeting ten years ago,Copy !req
21. they were wittering on
about the Christmas lightsCopy !req
22. and passed a resolution
condemning the improper useCopy !req
23. of apostrophes on signs in windows.Copy !req
24. There is literally nothing
that would get me there tonight.Copy !req
25. I see...Copy !req
26. Very well.Copy !req
27. You leave me with no alternative.Copy !req
28. I have... at the back of my bookshop...Copy !req
29. a 1965 Doctor Who Annual.Copy !req
30. There was no 1965 Doctor Who Annual.Copy !req
31. The first one was covered in 1966.
Publish—Copy !req
32. September 1965.Copy !req
33. The 1965 Annual was indeed never printed,Copy !req
34. due to problems at the BBC.Copy !req
35. Mine...Copy !req
36. is the only known proof copy.Copy !req
37. You'll let me look at it?Copy !req
38. If you are at the meeting this evening,
with perhaps a quartet of musicians?Copy !req
39. I'll let you have it.Copy !req
40. You just did what I think you did?Copy !req
41. I'm not prepared to talk about it.Copy !req
42. - You gave away a book.
- I had to.Copy !req
43. Maggie and Nina are depending on me.Copy !req
44. They just don't know it yet.Copy !req
45. A thousand...Copy !req
46. blood-thirsty demons.Copy !req
47. We are in Hell.Copy !req
48. I have authorization from Beelzebub.Copy !req
49. You can have authorization
from Satan himself love,Copy !req
50. if I don't have them
I can't send them over.Copy !req
51. I'll give you a malignant
and creeping sense of unease if you like.Copy !req
52. Why would I want a creep?Copy !req
53. Five hundred.Copy !req
54. There must be 500 foot soldiers.Copy !req
55. What they for?Copy !req
56. Attacking a bookshop.Copy !req
57. Don't tell anybody,
but we may be battling angels.Copy !req
58. I'll do you 100.Copy !req
59. - What's—
- It has just dropped to 70.Copy !req
60. I'll take them.Copy !req
61. Hello.Copy !req
62. What can I do you gentleman for?Copy !req
63. It's about the monthly
shopkeepers meeting, tonight.Copy !req
64. Under no circumstances
can I there be for tonight.Copy !req
65. It is my wedding anniversaryCopy !req
66. and I am taking
my beloved spouse out to dinner.Copy !req
67. I have a first editionCopy !req
68. of S. W. Erdnase's
Expert at the Card Table.Copy !req
69. - You've got a first edition?
- It was Erdnase's own copy.Copy !req
70. He signed it with his real name.Copy !req
71. And annotated it.Copy !req
72. - How much?
- It's not for sale.Copy !req
73. However...Copy !req
74. if you come to the meeting tonight,Copy !req
75. I might be willingCopy !req
76. to lend it to you.Copy !req
77. I'll tell the spouse something came upCopy !req
78. Bring them along too.Copy !req
79. I can promise you,
it will be quite a night.Copy !req
80. Hello, Ms. Cheng.Copy !req
81. There is a meeting tonight...Copy !req
82. The Street Traders?Copy !req
83. Yes, Mr. Cheng and I will be there.
What time does it start?Copy !req
84. 6:30.Copy !req
85. See you there! Have a good day!Copy !req
86. Greetings.Copy !req
87. Listen to me now.Copy !req
88. Oh, legions of hell.Copy !req
89. Our mission...Copy !req
90. Excuse me?Copy !req
91. What is it?Copy !req
92. Erm...Copy !req
93. A legion is like,Copy !req
94. about 6,000 demons.Copy !req
95. Yes, I know.Copy !req
96. Tonight, we launch an attack,Copy !req
97. unprecedented in its audacity,Copy !req
98. unique in its...Copy !req
99. Yes, what?Copy !req
100. Technically, we're only about...Copy !req
101. one seventy-fifth of a legion.Copy !req
102. I know,Copy !req
103. but what we lack in numbers,Copy !req
104. we make up for in ferocity.Copy !req
105. And...Copy !req
106. - Scariness?
- No.Copy !req
107. Lost it now.Copy !req
108. Ferocity and...Copy !req
109. danger!Copy !req
110. Ascertain,Copy !req
111. for we are demons
and they are but poultry humans.Copy !req
112. So we're not going up
against Angels, then?Copy !req
113. Because he said
we were going up against Angels.Copy !req
114. - Who said that?
- Fofo.Copy !req
115. - Is it true?
- We are going to Earth.Copy !req
116. To London.Copy !req
117. To storm a bookshop.Copy !req
118. Mr. Phale, I speak fluent English.Copy !req
119. I've been living here for 15 years.Copy !req
120. Excellent.Copy !req
121. Well... Erm...Copy !req
122. Mr. Phale, if it's about
the street traders meeting,Copy !req
123. I can be there, but only until seven,Copy !req
124. as we start to get really busy then.Copy !req
125. Yes, 6:30. See you there.Copy !req
126. So you can guarantee no Angels, then?Copy !req
127. Some of those Angels
are right dangerous bastards.Copy !req
128. We could be permanently discorporated.Copy !req
129. What I can guarantee you,Copy !req
130. sunshine,Copy !req
131. is, if you interrupt me one more time,Copy !req
132. you will regret it forever.Copy !req
133. Understood?Copy !req
134. You speak every language in the world,Copy !req
135. - we both do.
- Yes.Copy !req
136. - So what's with the French?
- Oh, I learned that, pfft... the hard way.Copy !req
137. I went to Monsieur Rossignol's
night classes in 1760.Copy !req
138. You don't have an aunt, she doesn't have
a gardener, he doesn't have a pen.Copy !req
139. But you understood me.Copy !req
140. Only because for 250 years
you've been wittering on aboutCopy !req
141. the plume of your imaginary taunt.Copy !req
142. Bravo. Just enjoying the show.Copy !req
143. Ah. Erm...Copy !req
144. Street Association meeting
tonight at 6:30 in my shop,Copy !req
145. perfectly ordinary invitation
with no hidden agenda of any kind.Copy !req
146. Are they going to talk about the Christmas
lights? Because I have things to say.Copy !req
147. - Yes.
- I'll be there.Copy !req
148. He's never hosted a meeting, ever.
Why the change of heart?Copy !req
149. He's unpredictable.Copy !req
150. He's discovered his civic obligations.Copy !req
151. You've been together long?Copy !req
152. - Who?
- You and your partner.Copy !req
153. Oh, no, no, it's not...
it's not like that.Copy !req
154. It certainly looks like that from here.Copy !req
155. Oh so you've just recently hooked up.Copy !req
156. - No, we...
- You got a husband?Copy !req
157. Or a boyfriend? Is the book selling
your bit on the side?Copy !req
158. He's not my bit on the side.Copy !req
159. I'm far too pure of heart
to be anybody's bit on the side.Copy !req
160. - He's just an angel, I know.
- If you say so.Copy !req
161. But then again, other people's love livesCopy !req
162. always seem so much more
straightforward than our own.Copy !req
163. We leave at nightfall.Copy !req
164. Masks will be provided
for those who can't...Copy !req
165. blend in.Copy !req
166. We use the big transporter.Copy !req
167. - Erm...
- What? What is it?Copy !req
168. The big transporter is out of service.Copy !req
169. We'll have to use
the little transporter, one at a time.Copy !req
170. Or take the stairs.Copy !req
171. We take the stairs.Copy !req
172. Do you want a glass?Copy !req
173. I'm at work and I have a meeting.Copy !req
174. I need to prepare for—
why don't you wait inside?Copy !req
175. - You like waiting inside.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
176. You've got an amnesiac Archangel
hiding out in your bookshop.Copy !req
177. I spent last night worrying
if he's going to wake up.Copy !req
178. What if he remembers who he is,
what if he's faking it?Copy !req
179. He could smite me.
When Gabriel smites you, you've been...Copy !req
180. - Smited? Smut?
- Smitten.Copy !req
181. I believe. You're being silly.Copy !req
182. It's perfectly safe. He's not...Copy !req
183. you know who, any long—
well, I mean, he is, but...Copy !req
184. Have you thought of just talking to him?Copy !req
185. Actually, I will.Copy !req
186. Fuck!Copy !req
187. Let there be light.Copy !req
188. Hello, Gabriel.Copy !req
189. Neat.Copy !req
190. - But I'm—
- Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.Copy !req
191. You're Jim now.Copy !req
192. Got everything just the way you wanted?Copy !req
193. Oh, yes, Mr. Phale's been very good to me.Copy !req
194. Hasn't he just? Surprising, really,Copy !req
195. given that the last time you two metCopy !req
196. you tried to destroy him.Copy !req
197. - I— I don't remember that.
- No, Jim? Oh.Copy !req
198. Well, Mr. Phale
doesn't remember it either.Copy !req
199. He wasn't there, you see.Copy !req
200. - He wasn't there?
- Long story, but...Copy !req
201. I was there.Copy !req
202. And I do remember,Copy !req
203. oh, very clearly,
the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel.Copy !req
204. When you told my only friend
to shut his stupid mouth and die.Copy !req
205. And I...Copy !req
206. did not...Copy !req
207. care for it.Copy !req
208. I don't think that was me,Copy !req
209. but I'm very sorry.Copy !req
210. I hope I'm not causing
too much trouble now.Copy !req
211. More bad news for you then, Jimmy boy.Copy !req
212. You're making him risk
his entire existenceCopy !req
213. - for you.
- Oh, dear.Copy !req
214. I really am sorry.Copy !req
215. - Is there anything I can do?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
216. Now.Copy !req
217. Jump out of that window.Copy !req
218. All right.Copy !req
219. Stop!Copy !req
220. Ugh, get down.Copy !req
221. Well, if you're really not him,Copy !req
222. what are you?Copy !req
223. I don't know, I feel...Copy !req
224. like,Copy !req
225. an empty...Copy !req
226. - house.
- A house?Copy !req
227. Yes, a house someone lived
for a very long time,Copy !req
228. but now they're goneCopy !req
229. and the house can sort of tell
where the things used to be.Copy !req
230. Like when I remembered how it all began.Copy !req
231. When you first arrived,
you said you were hereCopy !req
232. because they were planning
to do something terrible to you.Copy !req
233. So you remembered it then.Copy !req
234. Remember it now.Copy !req
235. It hurts to remember.
My head isn't built for that.Copy !req
236. I know, do it anyway.Copy !req
237. - It's not, I don't have my memory.
- Well, where is your memory, then?Copy !req
238. In a matchbox.Copy !req
239. No, I took it out, first.Copy !req
240. - You took your memory out of a matchbox?
- Yes, that's right.Copy !req
241. I took it out and I put it in the box
and I brought it here.Copy !req
242. - And it's...
- Yes?Copy !req
243. - Everywhere.
- Ah, what else do you remember?Copy !req
244. If it happens again I can make it seem
like it's an institutional problem.Copy !req
245. - What?
- I don't know, I'm just...Copy !req
246. I know, looking at
where the furniture isn't.Copy !req
247. Do you...Copy !req
248. want a hot chocolate?Copy !req
249. So what have you learnt about the miracle?Copy !req
250. I'm in the process of verifying it,
but, of course,Copy !req
251. you can only tell if people are in love
by waiting a few days,Copy !req
252. because humans are weird
and that's how it works.Copy !req
253. I knew that. Any leads on Gabriel?Copy !req
254. Oh, right. Well...Copy !req
255. he's definitely not in the shop.Copy !req
256. Does that count as a lead?
It is just Aziraphale.Copy !req
257. - The traitor?
- Yes.Copy !req
258. He seemed very...Copy !req
259. - Traitorous.
- Hmm...Copy !req
260. - And his grumpy friend, Mr. Crowley.
- The demon.Copy !req
261. Oh, I suppose that
explains the grumpiness.Copy !req
262. Oh, and, of course, his...Copy !req
263. assistant?Copy !req
264. - But I don't think I saw him.
- His assistant?Copy !req
265. - He doesn't have an assistant.
- No.Copy !req
266. Sorry, I don't know why I said that.Copy !req
267. Does he? Does he?Copy !req
268. Didn't we meet a someone, something...Copy !req
269. - about... books?
- No, no.Copy !req
270. Aziraphale himself, he likes books.Copy !req
271. Yes.Copy !req
272. Of course.Copy !req
273. Yes?Copy !req
274. I don't know if it helps, but...Copy !req
275. at one point Mr. Phale and Mr...Copy !req
276. I mean, the traitor and the demon,Copy !req
277. had a secret meeting
about what to do next.Copy !req
278. Ah.Copy !req
279. And?Copy !req
280. - What?
- What did they say?Copy !req
281. Oh, I didn't listen.
They said it was private.Copy !req
282. Thank you.Copy !req
283. - You're really nice.
- Don't thank me.Copy !req
284. And I'm not.Copy !req
285. Oh, nobody would believe you anyway.Copy !req
286. - What are you doing?
- Just making space for...Copy !req
287. everything that needs to happen.Copy !req
288. You're up to something, I can smell it.
What are you planning?Copy !req
289. Wait and see.Copy !req
290. Wait and see? Do you have
any idea how irritating that is?Copy !req
291. Yes, now, if you're going to
stand here and just carp,Copy !req
292. perhaps you could check in
on Nina or MaggieCopy !req
293. and make sure they are on their way.Copy !req
294. I don't know why you invited me,
Mr. Phale.Copy !req
295. Well, you are a Whickber Street trader,
Mrs. Sandwich.Copy !req
296. - And a pillar of the community.
- That's as may be.Copy !req
297. But it's the after work rush and the
several regulars gonna need seeing to.Copy !req
298. I'm sure you young ladies
know what to do by now.Copy !req
299. - Well, if you put it like that.
- I've never asked,Copy !req
300. what exactly is it that they do do?Copy !req
301. They stand on their own two feet.Copy !req
302. Like the government said.Copy !req
303. Ah.Copy !req
304. Just here to tell you the Street Traders
Association meeting is starting now.Copy !req
305. I never miss a meeting, I'll be there.Copy !req
306. Not a problem.Copy !req
307. Seats? Mr. Phale, where are the seats
I dropped off for the meeting?Copy !req
308. - No point.
- No point?Copy !req
309. We'd only have to move them away again
when the dancing begins, wouldn't we?Copy !req
310. Better to keep them for later.Copy !req
311. Dancing?Copy !req
312. "Give me coffee or give me death"Copy !req
313. Funny name for a coffee shop.Copy !req
314. Everything else was taken,
what do you want?Copy !req
315. - Just to remind you about the...
- The meeting? I'm not coming.Copy !req
316. - You have to.
- No, I don't. My...Copy !req
317. My partner, Lindsay, has textedCopy !req
318. and it's now my former partner.Copy !req
319. And I'm buggered if I'm gonna talk about
the stupid Christmas lights tonight,Copy !req
320. so I'm going home and gonna drink
myself senseless and have a good cry.Copy !req
321. - in an empty flat.
- Don't do that.Copy !req
322. - Why not?
- It may not be safe. Something's going on.Copy !req
323. Something's wrong.Copy !req
324. Well, lots of things are wrong right now,Copy !req
325. but right now it's coming in waves.Copy !req
326. - Like a hangover.
- I'm going home.Copy !req
327. You'd be safer in there. My friend
wouldn't let anything happen to you.Copy !req
328. Jeez, for once
in your life trust somebody.Copy !req
329. - You're weird.
- Arg, do it!Copy !req
330. I'm going mad.Copy !req
331. For my dear, it is Nina,
purveyor of coffee for all our needs.Copy !req
332. Charmed, I'm sure.Copy !req
333. Ah, bonsoir. It is,
how do you say, a fine night for dancing.Copy !req
334. Justine, what's going on?Copy !req
335. Why, our good mistress coffee seller.Copy !req
336. Tonight is a meeting
of the Whickber Street TradersCopy !req
337. and shopkeepers Association.Copy !req
338. We all are partaking
of the hospitality of Mr. Phale.Copy !req
339. Hello, would you like to try one of these
tiny little dinners? They are free.Copy !req
340. Ah, Nina!Copy !req
341. Oh, I'm so glad you are here.Copy !req
342. The dancing is about to begin.Copy !req
343. I know I'm really upset,
why don't I feel upset?Copy !req
344. Ah, no long faces tonight.Copy !req
345. I just want to see you
young people enjoying yourselves.Copy !req
346. Dancing?Copy !req
347. Well, it wouldn't be
a Shopkeepers Association meetingCopy !req
348. without dancing, would it?Copy !req
349. Look, I don't know what's going on but
your friend said I was in dangerCopy !req
350. and now I'm in here
and you're all acting...Copy !req
351. - And I'm losing my fucking mind.
- Well, now you're here,Copy !req
352. that's the main thing.
You're definitely safeCopy !req
353. in here.Copy !req
354. Excellent eventide to you, mistress Nina,Copy !req
355. I trust we'll tread a measure togetherCopy !req
356. before tonight's
Shopkeepers Association meeting is over.Copy !req
357. I just wanted to talk
about the Christmas lightsCopy !req
358. Who are you?Copy !req
359. Who sent you?Copy !req
360. You're demons.Copy !req
361. Junior bottom of the barrel demons,Copy !req
362. practically the damp.Copy !req
363. What are you doing here?
What are any of you doing here?Copy !req
364. You can't just manifest
and cause trouble, there are rules.Copy !req
365. - Give us the Angel.
- We want Gabriel.Copy !req
366. You are out of order!Copy !req
367. What exactly is your profession?Copy !req
368. I'm a seamstress.Copy !req
369. Indeed a worthy craft.Copy !req
370. No, I'm not a seamstress.Copy !req
371. I'm a seamstress.Copy !req
372. The devil take it.Copy !req
373. - A seamstress.
- What, in short?Copy !req
374. - You are a seamstress.
- No, I'm not a benighted seamstress.Copy !req
375. I'm a God forsaken...Copy !req
376. seamstress.Copy !req
377. Why can I not say
the word seamstress.Copy !req
378. Perhaps if you were to
describe the profession.Copy !req
379. Nah, the very thing, I thank you.Copy !req
380. Well, when a gentleman finds himselfCopy !req
381. in want of
the tender attentions of a wife,Copy !req
382. he may take himself to my establishmentCopy !req
383. and there have his pick
of a fine stable of ladiesCopy !req
384. all able and willing to mend his shirtCopy !req
385. or darn his socksCopy !req
386. or even... sew on a button.Copy !req
387. But that's extra, and all the girls do it.Copy !req
388. Oh.Copy !req
389. A seamstress.Copy !req
390. - What are you doing?
- I told you.Copy !req
391. Jane Austen. We're having a Ball.Copy !req
392. I've gotta talk to you, it's important.Copy !req
393. I'm afraid I'm hosting a business meeting,Copy !req
394. I'll be with you
in two shakes of a lamb's tail.Copy !req
395. Have a vol-au-vent.Copy !req
396. - This is something new.
- This is something completely bonkers.Copy !req
397. Why is everyone talking like
they just came from Pride and Prejudice?Copy !req
398. Just getting into
the spirit of things, I suppose.Copy !req
399. Spirit of what things?Copy !req
400. This is meant to be the Shopkeepers
Association monthly meeting.Copy !req
401. Oh, yes.Copy !req
402. Well, when you put it like that.Copy !req
403. Are we dancing?Copy !req
404. Yes.Copy !req
405. Did you ever learn
the steps to this dance?Copy !req
406. It's just what we do, isn't it?Copy !req
407. No. No, it isn't.Copy !req
408. This is something mad.Copy !req
409. This is their fault.Copy !req
410. They are doing this.Copy !req
411. I am an assistant book seller,
these are not books.Copy !req
412. They are good old pieces of food
and I am not selling them,Copy !req
413. I'm giving them away.Copy !req
414. Then most certainly
we must indulge ourselves.Copy !req
415. Oh.Copy !req
416. Oh, great...Copy !req
417. We shall want another one presently.Copy !req
418. It is seldom indeed that our little
village has the fortune to welcome one soCopy !req
419. amiable, so gentile and,
if you'll allow me sir, so well made,Copy !req
420. in form and feature.Copy !req
421. This, it's neat,Copy !req
422. isn't it? I'm still working out
all the things it can do.Copy !req
423. I discovered a new one in bed last night.Copy !req
424. Would you like me to show you?Copy !req
425. I must confess you interests us strangely.Copy !req
426. Here, here, watch, watch, watch.Copy !req
427. Making a blend is one thing,
but a Ball with,Copy !req
428. look there's something wrong.
There is something really wrong.Copy !req
429. Well, perhaps you could tell meCopy !req
430. while we dance.Copy !req
431. We don't dance.Copy !req
432. Doors opening. Earth.Copy !req
433. How sweet.Copy !req
434. They're having a party.Copy !req
435. - What do we do?
- I'm not sure.Copy !req
436. Not having a very good day.
My partner, Lindsay,Copy !req
437. has gone.Copy !req
438. Was it my fault?Copy !req
439. What? No.Copy !req
440. Not really.Copy !req
441. That night was the last straw of...Copy !req
442. it's been coming for a long time.Copy !req
443. I don't think Lindsay
actually liked me very much.Copy !req
444. - And, well, I know I'm hard work.
- I...Copy !req
445. I mean...Copy !req
446. I'm not afraid of hard work.Copy !req
447. Hell has sent demons.Copy !req
448. They are milling around outside,
they want Gabriel.Copy !req
449. We're perfectly safe in here.Copy !req
450. Technically, this bookshop
still counts as an embassy.Copy !req
451. I think you need to stop this charadeCopy !req
452. and we need to work out what to do.Copy !req
453. I am not giving them Jim.Copy !req
454. People will get hurt, angel.Copy !req
455. I think you're overestimating
how much trouble we're actually in.Copy !req
456. Well...Copy !req
457. Oh.Copy !req
458. Oh, dear.Copy !req
459. - "Surrender the Angle."
- Yeah, erm...Copy !req
460. Spelling not their strong point,
they meant to say...Copy !req
461. Surrender the Angel.Copy !req
462. Send out Gabriel.Copy !req
463. - Nobody gets too badly hurt.
- Out of the question.Copy !req
464. Might I remind you,Copy !req
465. that this bookshop is technically
an independent embassy.Copy !req
466. Being a former outpost of Heaven,Copy !req
467. - and as such—
- You're an outlaw Aziraphale.Copy !req
468. You have no protection.Copy !req
469. I have a legion of demonsCopy !req
470. by my side.Copy !req
471. And I have no intention of harming you,Copy !req
472. only the humans here with you.Copy !req
473. You have 60 seconds
to hand over the Archangel GabrielCopy !req
474. before we begin to kill people.Copy !req
475. Excuse me.Copy !req
476. Fifty seconds.Copy !req
477. What do you say?Copy !req
478. This is all because of me, isn't it?Copy !req
479. Those people want me,Copy !req
480. don't they?Copy !req
481. You came to me,Copy !req
482. I said I would protect you,Copy !req
483. and I will.Copy !req
484. You don't need to.Copy !req
485. I'm going out.Copy !req
486. I'm here.Copy !req
487. I'm who you want.Copy !req
488. I think.Copy !req
489. It's me.Copy !req
490. I don't know what you're doing,
but you're in my way.Copy !req
491. Send out the Angel now,
or everyone in the bookshop gets it.Copy !req
492. - I mean it!
- Hi.Copy !req
493. Listen.Copy !req
494. The Angel Gabriel is...Copy !req
495. apparently, me.Copy !req
496. But I'm also Jim, which is short
for James, but also Gabriel.Copy !req
497. Will you shut up?Copy !req
498. Get back in there right now, this minute.Copy !req
499. And you tell that ass AziraphaleCopy !req
500. and that arch traitor CrowleyCopy !req
501. that unless they send out
the Angel Gabriel now,Copy !req
502. they are toast.Copy !req
503. T-O-S-TCopy !req
504. E.Copy !req
505. Toast. Now.Copy !req
506. What happened?Copy !req
507. They told me to come back
and tell you to send out the Angel.Copy !req
508. Of course they did.Copy !req
509. Ah. We needed a miracle
to make sure nobody know it's him.Copy !req
510. Now nobody knows it's him.Copy !req
511. - Nice one, ass.
- Excuse me, Mr. Phale.Copy !req
512. Who are these people? What's happening?Copy !req
513. Twenty seconds, Angel,Copy !req
514. before we start hurting them.Copy !req
515. You aren't allowed
to harm humans directly,Copy !req
516. - you know that Shacks.
- Maybe not.Copy !req
517. But I can harm them indirectly.Copy !req
518. We can definitely hurt them
whilst battling Angels.Copy !req
519. There'll be civilian casualties.Copy !req
520. Oh, oh, are you saying
this is officially sanctioned.Copy !req
521. that this attack is consistent
with the rules of engagement.Copy !req
522. Well, is it or isn't it? Were you given
official permission to launch this attack?Copy !req
523. I'm not stupid.Copy !req
524. I have the permission.Copy !req
525. Standard rules of engagement,
clause 1.1.2, subsection 3.Copy !req
526. Civilian non-competence
must be given sufficient timeCopy !req
527. to evacuate the area of hostilities.Copy !req
528. Aziraphale can put in a formal complaintCopy !req
529. to the dark council of
the dukes of Hell, if you want.Copy !req
530. But you'll have to delay your attack
until they reply.Copy !req
531. That could take weeks, maybe. Erm...Copy !req
532. You lot could all be in big trouble.Copy !req
533. Get your...Copy !req
534. humans out of there, then.Copy !req
535. Sure.Copy !req
536. Right, I just made up a rule
that they're too stupid to check.Copy !req
537. I'm gonna get the humans out of here
and then I'm coming back.Copy !req
538. - I won't leave you on your own.
- I know, but I have a suggestion.Copy !req
539. I've got this. Right,
I'm gonna take you all out of here.Copy !req
540. If you do exactly what I tell you,
nobody is going to get hurt.Copy !req
541. I don't know what's actually going on
but I am going to deal with it.Copy !req
542. - Excuse me.
- Oh, that might get messy.Copy !req
543. Oh...Copy !req
544. Madam.Copy !req
545. I don't know why
you think it's appropriate to disruptCopy !req
546. a meeting of the Whickber Street
Traders and Shopkeepers Association.Copy !req
547. Dance.Copy !req
548. Not a meeting.Copy !req
549. You were dancing.Copy !req
550. You had no right
to interfere with these people.Copy !req
551. Right.Copy !req
552. I'm calling the Emergency Services.Copy !req
553. Crowley, what's
the boundary line of this place?Copy !req
554. The door frame, you can't cross it.Copy !req
555. - You can't do that.
- We just did.Copy !req
556. Civilian casualty.Copy !req
557. Get the rest of them out now,Copy !req
558. or we'll take them one at a time.Copy !req
559. I still don't understand.Copy !req
560. - What's happening?
- Erm...Copy !req
561. It's a bit complicated, but...Copy !req
562. probably best if you forget all about it
and do whatever Mr. Crowley suggests.Copy !req
563. Are you trying to hypnotize me,
is that what's happening here?Copy !req
564. - You're doing something to us.
- I'm trying to save your lives.Copy !req
565. Right, everyone line up.
Two by two.Copy !req
566. I was Mrs. Sandwich out from the main.
Nina, Maggie, you take the rear.Copy !req
567. Maggie, come on.Copy !req
568. I'm not leaving him
to face them on his own.Copy !req
569. When I say walk,Copy !req
570. you know, walk.
Don't make eye contact with them,Copy !req
571. just follow me out.
Nina, are you coming?Copy !req
572. No.Copy !req
573. You're saying behind to die bravely?Copy !req
574. Good on you. Right, save lives.Copy !req
575. Have you got your hand in?Copy !req
576. - I've got more than that, love.
- Oh, I bet you do.Copy !req
577. Let's go.Copy !req
578. Happy anniversary, love.Copy !req
579. I brought him out.Copy !req
580. - Why?
- It stacks up by the front door.Copy !req
581. Keep it for now, not a good time.Copy !req
582. - They took him.
- Is he all right?Copy !req
583. Unlikely.
Let's all get safely outside and see.Copy !req
584. Right, I'm gonna formally declare
this meeting of the Whickber StreetCopy !req
585. shopkeepers, thingy over.Copy !req
586. I think it'd be best if you headed back
to your shops as fast as possibleCopy !req
587. and, well, forget
as much of this as you can.Copy !req
588. You're a good lad.Copy !req
589. I'm not actually, either.Copy !req
590. But thank you.Copy !req
591. - Why didn't you go?
- I wanna know what's happening.Copy !req
592. - You're in danger.
- None of this makes sense.Copy !req
593. You're in trouble
and we're not leaving you on your own.Copy !req
594. We aren't in danger.Copy !req
595. Crowley will be back in a moment,
he will have a plan.Copy !req
596. Why don't you stand up for yourself?
Make your own plans.Copy !req
597. I am, but rescuing me makes him so happy.Copy !req
598. Officer, I need to report a crime.Copy !req
599. - Oh, err, I think I'm... the wrong—
- You're a law enforcement officer?Copy !req
600. Yes, I mean, well, probably—Copy !req
601. As a law enforcement officer,
you are able to arrest someoneCopy !req
602. - if a crime has been committed.
- Well, yes, but—Copy !req
603. - Good, then arrest me.
- What?Copy !req
604. Like I said,
put on the cuffs, I'll go quietly.Copy !req
605. This is very difficult,
but I'm not actuallyCopy !req
606. Inspector Constable,
a human law enforcement officer.Copy !req
607. You're an Angel, I know,
that's why I'm surrendering to you.Copy !req
608. I'm a demon,
with knowledge of a crime against Heaven,Copy !req
609. I demand that you arrest me,
we don't have much time.Copy !req
610. But, how would I...?Copy !req
611. You say "I arrest you, anything you say
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
612. - Blah, blah, blah?
- Good job, you're arresting me.Copy !req
613. - What?
- Yeah, you said "bla, bla, bla."Copy !req
614. It's all right, officer,
I'll come quietly.Copy !req
615. Come where?Copy !req
616. Heaven.Copy !req
617. Right.Copy !req
618. Doors opening.Copy !req
619. You aren't trying to trick me, are you?Copy !req
620. You're arresting me,
why would I be trying to trick you?Copy !req
621. Close the doors.Copy !req
622. Doors closing.Copy !req
623. Going up.Copy !req