1. Please hang up
and try your call again.Copy !req
2. Are you the owner of this establishment?Copy !req
3. Do I look like I run a bookshop?Copy !req
4. Aziraphale, where the Heaven
are you, you idiot?Copy !req
5. I can't find you!Copy !req
6. Aziraphale, for God's—Copy !req
7. For Satan's— Ah!Copy !req
8. For somebody's sake, where are you?Copy !req
9. You've gone.Copy !req
10. Somebody killed my best friend!Copy !req
11. Bastards!Copy !req
12. All of you!Copy !req
13. It's a bad world,
but we can fix it.Copy !req
14. And it doesn't matter that you three
aren't my friends anymore.Copy !req
15. I've got better friends
than you'll ever be.Copy !req
16. My new friends will be together soon.Copy !req
17. They're coming here,
and then we make everything better.Copy !req
18. Crowley had lost Aziraphale,Copy !req
19. and the world was ending
in a few hours.Copy !req
20. He was in Hell's bad books.Copy !req
21. Not that Hell has any other kind.Copy !req
22. I shouldn't litter, should I?Copy !req
23. I mean, I probably should litter.Copy !req
24. I'm a demon, after all.Copy !req
25. But nobody's really keeping score anymore.Copy !req
26. Mr Shadwell?Copy !req
27. Oh, what on earth happened?Copy !req
28. What would you say if I told youCopy !req
29. that this hand had just
exorcised a demonCopy !req
30. clean off the surface of the earth?Copy !req
31. I'd say somebody needs to come insideCopy !req
32. and have a nice cup of tea.Copy !req
33. But young Newt, he's still out there.Copy !req
34. In thrall to heathen ways
and lubricious occult wiles.Copy !req
35. There could be women there.Copy !req
36. Oh, well...Copy !req
37. now you can't be in here,Copy !req
38. because Mrs Ormorod and such
will be arriving any minute.Copy !req
39. Why don't you come in here
and have a nice lie down.Copy !req
40. You're no use to young Newt
in this state.Copy !req
41. Aye.Copy !req
42. I'll have a bit of a lie down.Copy !req
43. Nobody's ever done what I've done.Copy !req
44. Not Hopkins, not Siftings,Copy !req
45. not Dalrymple.Copy !req
46. I'm the ultimate weapon.Copy !req
47. I'm the doomsday option.Copy !req
48. What kind of a place is this?Copy !req
49. You! You're late.Copy !req
50. Yes. Um...Copy !req
51. Actually, I...Copy !req
52. I— I didn't mean to be here...Copy !req
53. um, yet.Copy !req
54. Still sorting things out...
on Earth.Copy !req
55. Aziraphale, isn't it?Copy !req
56. Principality, Angel of the Eastern Gate.Copy !req
57. Your whole platoon is waiting for you.Copy !req
58. Aziraphale.Copy !req
59. Aziraphale...
Why is that name so familiar?Copy !req
60. Hang on.Copy !req
61. Aziraphale.Copy !req
62. You were issued with—Copy !req
63. A flaming sword, I know.
It's not my fault.Copy !req
64. She was having a very bad day.Copy !req
65. You were issued with a body.
Where is it?Copy !req
66. I'm afraid I hadn't actually preparedCopy !req
67. to step into the transportation portal,
you see.Copy !req
68. And the body... discorporated.Copy !req
69. Discorporated?Copy !req
70. It was 6,000 years old.Copy !req
71. I count them all out,Copy !req
72. and I count them all in again.Copy !req
73. And then you turn up,Copy !req
74. late for Armageddon,Copy !req
75. no flaming sword,Copy !req
76. not even a body,
you pathetic excuse for an angel!Copy !req
77. Well, I suppose I am, really.Copy !req
78. I mean...Copy !req
79. I have no intention of fighting in any war.Copy !req
80. Don't be a coward!Copy !req
81. You get into position right now,Copy !req
82. and I won't say anything moreCopy !req
83. about the body you discorporated.Copy !req
84. We can take the sword
out of your celestial wages.Copy !req
85. I was in the middle
of something important.Copy !req
86. I demand to be returned.Copy !req
87. Without a body?Copy !req
88. That's ridiculous.Copy !req
89. - It is?
- Obviously.Copy !req
90. What are you going to do?
You can't possess them.Copy !req
91. Demons can.Copy !req
92. You're not a demon.
You're an angel.Copy !req
93. What are you—?Copy !req
94. Where are you going?Copy !req
95. How does one navigate?Copy !req
96. - Oh, well.
- Get away from that thing!Copy !req
97. I'll figure it out...Copy !req
98. as I go.Copy !req
99. What are you lot looking at?Copy !req
100. Don't you know there's a war on?Copy !req
101. My friends are on their way,
and then there'll be a world just for us.Copy !req
102. We'll get rid of everything
stupid and start all over again.Copy !req
103. Won't that be awesome?Copy !req
104. Say something.Copy !req
105. You have to say something.Copy !req
106. I'm telling you to say something!Copy !req
107. Stop it. Stop crying.
This is fun.Copy !req
108. We're having fun.
This is the best day of all.Copy !req
109. You have to smile!
I can make it happen!Copy !req
110. Smile! Smile!Copy !req
111. That was...Copy !req
112. I mean...Copy !req
113. that was...Copy !req
114. You know I've never actually...Copy !req
115. That was my first time.Copy !req
116. I'd never have known.Copy !req
117. Well, seeing as the world's ending,Copy !req
118. can we do it again?Copy !req
119. We don't have time.Copy !req
120. And Agnes only said we did it once.Copy !req
121. She never.Copy !req
122. She bloody—
She can't have predicted that.Copy !req
123. "You go, boy.
May fortune be with you.Copy !req
124. Anathema, my descendant,Copy !req
125. I trust he will be fine of featureCopy !req
126. and mighty of..."Copy !req
127. - Oh, my dear Lord.
- Get dressed.Copy !req
128. So, we find this Adam, and then we...Copy !req
129. - stop him?
- Mmm...Copy !req
130. I'm not sure anymore.Copy !req
131. Agnes doesn't tell us to.Copy !req
132. Because if there's a card with instructions,
I don't know which one it is.Copy !req
133. What do you mean,
"Agnes doesn't tell us to"?Copy !req
134. Don't you ever just
do things for yourself?Copy !req
135. See how they turn out?Copy !req
136. No, not important things.Copy !req
137. And we have maybe an hour or so to go
until there's nothing anybody can do.Copy !req
138. I'm not going to waste
a second of it, so come on.Copy !req
139. You can't let a 400-year-old
witch tell you what to do.Copy !req
140. I've spent my whole life
trying to figure outCopy !req
141. what Agnes wanted me to do.Copy !req
142. And she's never failed me.Copy !req
143. Sometimes I fail her.Copy !req
144. - Same again.Copy !req
145. I never asked to be a demon.Copy !req
146. I was just minding
my own business one dayCopy !req
147. and then... oh, lookie here,Copy !req
148. it's Lucifer and the guys.Copy !req
149. Oh, hey, the food
hadn't been that good lately.Copy !req
150. I didn't have anything on
for the rest of that afternoon.Copy !req
151. Next thing, I'm doing a million-light-yearCopy !req
152. freestyle dive into a pool
of boiling sulphur.Copy !req
153. Aziraphale?Copy !req
154. - Are you here?
- Good question.Copy !req
155. Not certain.
Never done this before.Copy !req
156. - Can you hear me?
- Of course I can hear you.Copy !req
157. Afraid I've rather made
a mess of things.Copy !req
158. Did you go to Alpha Centauri?Copy !req
159. Nah, I changed my mind.Copy !req
160. Stuff happened.Copy !req
161. I lost my best friend.Copy !req
162. I'm so sorry to hear it.Copy !req
163. Listen, back in my bookshopCopy !req
164. there's a book I need you to get.Copy !req
165. Oh, look, your bookshop
isn't there anymore.Copy !req
166. - Oh?
- I'm really sorry. It burned down.Copy !req
167. All of it?Copy !req
168. Yeah.
What— what was the book?Copy !req
169. The one the young lady
with the bicycle left behind.Copy !req
170. - The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of—
- Agnes Nutter!Copy !req
171. - Yes, I took it!
- You have it?Copy !req
172. - Look, souvenir!
- Look inside. I made notes.Copy !req
173. It's all in there.
The boy's name, address.Copy !req
174. Everything else.
I worked it all out.Copy !req
175. Look, wherever you are,
I'll come to you. Where are you?Copy !req
176. I-I-I'm not really anywhere yet.Copy !req
177. - I've been discorporated.
- Oh.Copy !req
178. You need to get to Tadfield Air Base.Copy !req
179. Why?Copy !req
180. World ending.
That's where it's all going to happen.Copy !req
181. Quite soon now.
I'll head there too.Copy !req
182. I just need to find a receptive body.Copy !req
183. - Harder than you'd think.
- I'm not going to go there.Copy !req
184. I do need a body.Copy !req
185. Pity I can't inhabit yours.Copy !req
186. - Ooh.
- Angel, demon...Copy !req
187. - probably explode.
- Blehh...Copy !req
188. So I'll meet you at Tadfield.Copy !req
189. But we're both gonna have
to get a bit of a wiggle-on.Copy !req
190. - What?
- Tadfield Air Base.Copy !req
191. I heard that.
It was the "wiggle-on".Copy !req
192. Enter all seekers after wisdom.Copy !req
193. Only if you are prepared to part the veilCopy !req
194. and receive wisdom from those
who have gone before.Copy !req
195. We are here to receive
your wisdom, Madame Tracy.Copy !req
196. - Oh!Copy !req
197. Very good weather for a séance.Copy !req
198. Did you have them do it special,
the weather,Copy !req
199. - with your psychicness?
- No, dear.Copy !req
200. They're waiting for us.Copy !req
201. Our Ron and the spirits,
they're waiting.Copy !req
202. And we are looking forwardCopy !req
203. to hearing what they are
going to say to us,Copy !req
204. after we've made our donations.Copy !req
205. Aziraphale
had to find a host to inhabit.Copy !req
206. And the Four Horsemen needed
to come together for their final ride.Copy !req
207. Purpose of your visit to the U.K.?Copy !req
208. I ride to where the end
of the world begins.Copy !req
209. Sounds like fun.Copy !req
210. Four cups of tea, please.
One of them black.Copy !req
211. And a cheese sandwich.Copy !req
212. You take a seat
and I'll bring it over for you.Copy !req
213. Four of you, are there?Copy !req
214. There will be.Copy !req
215. I'm waiting for friends.Copy !req
216. You're better off waiting in here.Copy !req
217. - It's hell out there.Copy !req
218. No. Not yet.Copy !req
219. War.Copy !req
220. It's been a long time.Copy !req
221. Famine.Copy !req
222. Feels funny,
all of us getting together like this.Copy !req
223. Funny?Copy !req
224. Hmm.Copy !req
225. We've spent all these thousands of yearsCopy !req
226. waiting for the big day,
and finally it comes.Copy !req
227. We'll have
a thunderstorm to ride in.Copy !req
228. Any idea how far we've got to ride?Copy !req
229. - A hundred miles.
- I would have thought it'd be farther, somehow.Copy !req
230. It's not the travelling,
it's the arriving that matters.Copy !req
231. Any sign of him yet?Copy !req
232. When did you get here?Copy !req
233. I never went away.Copy !req
234. Your tea is getting cold, Lord.Copy !req
235. It's been a long time.Copy !req
236. But now we ride.Copy !req
237. Yes. Now we ride.Copy !req
238. - Ooh. Pfft.
- She's going under.Copy !req
239. Nothing to be alarmed about.Copy !req
240. She's just making herself
a bridge to the other side.Copy !req
241. - Her spirit guide will be along soon.Copy !req
242. Are you there, my spirit guide?Copy !req
243. Ah, begorrah...Copy !req
244. 'tis me.Copy !req
245. Little Colleen O'Leary.Copy !req
246. Colleen died in Dublin in 1746
when she was nine years old.Copy !req
247. - But she was very psychic.Copy !req
248. Colleen. Hello, dear.Copy !req
249. Is my Ron with you?Copy !req
250. - I've got so much to tell him.
- Ooh!Copy !req
251. Ah, Colleen wants to knowCopy !req
252. if there's anyone
named Mr Scroggie here?Copy !req
253. Actually, that's my name.Copy !req
254. Yes.
Well, Colleen wants to knowCopy !req
255. if you've ever known anyone named...Copy !req
256. - John.
- No.Copy !req
257. - Or it could be Jim.
- No.Copy !req
258. - Tom?
- No.Copy !req
259. - Steve?
- No.Copy !req
260. - Dave?
- I knew a Dave from Hemel Hempstead.Copy !req
261. Yes! So, you see,
that's what he's saying.Copy !req
262. He's saying Hemel Hempstead.
He wants you to knowCopy !req
263. that he's doing very well
beyond the veil.Copy !req
264. I saw him walking his dog the other day
and he looked perfectly healthy.Copy !req
265. People go very suddenly.
Like my mum.Copy !req
266. Your mum can bloody well
wait her turn, Julia Petley.Copy !req
267. I've been coming here for seven years.
I do have seniority.Copy !req
268. Now, you tell my Ron—Copy !req
269. Ooh!Copy !req
270. - Is it our Ron?
- No, it's something real.Copy !req
271. Sprechen sie Deutsch?Copy !req
272. - Is that you, Ron?
- Ron?Copy !req
273. Not Ron.
Definitely not.Copy !req
274. Well, I want to speak to Ron Ormorod.Copy !req
275. He's rather short, balding on top.Copy !req
276. Can you put me through, please?Copy !req
277. Ah, well, there does appear to be a spiritCopy !req
278. matching that description
trying to attract our attention.Copy !req
279. Very well.Copy !req
280. I will hand you over,
but you must be very quick.Copy !req
281. I am attempting to avert the Apocalypse.Copy !req
282. - Right.Copy !req
283. Hello, Brenda.Copy !req
284. Ron?Copy !req
285. What...Copy !req
286. You sound like...Copy !req
287. you.Copy !req
288. I am me, Brenda.Copy !req
289. It's c-cold here.Copy !req
290. Right, so I went to our
Krystal's wedding last weekend.Copy !req
291. That's our Tracy's eldest.Copy !req
292. And they start serving Korean food.Copy !req
293. Well, I can take a joke
as well as the next woman.Copy !req
294. - Brenda!
- I'm getting to the good bit.Copy !req
295. So, I hold up the kimchi and I say,Copy !req
296. "What you expect me
to do with this, then?"Copy !req
297. - Whereupon, without evenCopy !req
298. the grace to look ashamed...Copy !req
299. - Brenda!
- Yes, Ron?Copy !req
300. Y-Y-You never g-gave me a chanceCopy !req
301. to get a word in edgeways
when we were married.Copy !req
302. And now I'm dead.Copy !req
303. Oh! There's only one thing
I want to tell you.Copy !req
304. You've never spoken to me
like this before.Copy !req
305. Ron, remember your heart condition.Copy !req
306. I don't have a heart anymore!Copy !req
307. - And Brenda?
- Yes, Ron?Copy !req
308. Shut up!Copy !req
309. Wasn't that touching?Copy !req
310. Right, well, uh, lovely to meet you all.Copy !req
311. Out.Copy !req
312. Show's over.Copy !req
313. World to save. Can't lollygag.Copy !req
314. Well, that's very good value.
Very entertaining.Copy !req
315. Glad you enjoyed it.Copy !req
316. Crowley is currently
stuck in a traffic jamCopy !req
317. as he tries to get out
of London to find Adam.Copy !req
318. And it's official.Copy !req
319. This is the biggest traffic jam
in England's history.Copy !req
320. Why?Copy !req
321. What you did to the M25Copy !req
322. was a stroke of demonic genius, darling.Copy !req
323. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
324. The traffic jam is being
caused by problems on the M25,Copy !req
325. the freeway
that circles London.Copy !req
326. Crowley had a lot to do
with the design of the M25Copy !req
327. back in the 1970s.Copy !req
328. So, thanks
to three computer hacks,Copy !req
329. selected bribery,Copy !req
330. and me moving some markers
across a field one night,Copy !req
331. the M25 London orbital motorway,Copy !req
332. which was supposed to look like this,Copy !req
333. will, when it opens in 1986,Copy !req
334. actually look like this,Copy !req
335. and represent the dread sigil OdegraCopy !req
336. in the language of the dark
Priesthood of Ancient Mu.Copy !req
337. "Odegra" means, "Hail the great
beast, devourer of worlds."Copy !req
338. Can I hear a "wahoo"?Copy !req
339. Once it's built, the millions of motoristsCopy !req
340. who grumble their way around itCopy !req
341. are going to be like water
on a prayer wheel,Copy !req
342. grinding out an endless fog
of low-grade evilCopy !req
343. that will encircle the whole of London.Copy !req
344. Yes, Duke Hastur?Copy !req
345. What's a computer?Copy !req
346. So, what exactly
do you propose we do about this?Copy !req
347. Given the circumstances,Copy !req
348. we're both going to have to be
extremely flexible.Copy !req
349. Get your hands off her, you...Copy !req
350. - Where is he?
- Who?Copy !req
351. Some southern pansy.Copy !req
352. I heard him, making lewd suggestions.Copy !req
353. Not just "a" southern pansy, Sergeant.Copy !req
354. "The" southern pansy.Copy !req
355. Demon!Copy !req
356. You know what this is?Copy !req
357. Four fingers, one thumb.Copy !req
358. Now, you get out
of this good woman's headCopy !req
359. before I blast you to kingdom come.Copy !req
360. That's the trouble, Mr Shadwell.Copy !req
361. Kingdom come.Copy !req
362. It's going to.Copy !req
363. Mr Aziraphale has just been explaining it.Copy !req
364. You come and have a nice cup of tea,Copy !req
365. and listen to him.Copy !req
366. As Adam came into his power,Copy !req
367. the world welcomed him in ways
not even Crowley had expected.Copy !req
368. I can't hold it in.Copy !req
369. Well, what if the traffic
starts moving again?Copy !req
370. It's the M25.Copy !req
371. You can't just get out and have a widdle
in the middle of the road.Copy !req
372. I can, and I will.Copy !req
373. Hail the Great Beast.Copy !req
374. What'd you say, Horace?Copy !req
375. Hail the Great Beast,Copy !req
376. devourer of worlds.Copy !req
377. Hail the Great Beast,
devourer of worlds.Copy !req
378. Hail the Great Beast,Copy !req
379. devourer of worlds.Copy !req
380. Hail the Great BeastCopy !req
381. devourer of worlds...Copy !req
382. The M25 had become,
unexpectedly,Copy !req
383. a burning magical ring of fire
that surrounded London.Copy !req
384. Nobody was getting in or out.Copy !req
385. Crowley had made it, now
Crowley was trapped inside it.Copy !req
386. Right. The M25 is now an impassable
burning ring of infernal fire,Copy !req
387. and that's my fault.Copy !req
388. Come on, Tadfield.
Tadfield. Tadfield.Copy !req
389. Motorists are being advised
to avoid the M25 London orbital motorwayCopy !req
390. because, in the words
of a Transportation Department spokesman,Copy !req
391. "It's on fire or something."Copy !req
392. What does that even mean?Copy !req
393. I know
where the Antichrist is.Copy !req
394. I know where the Antichrist is.
I know where the Antichrist is.Copy !req
395. - Mr Biggs...
- Yes?Copy !req
396. I'm calling about a car accidentCopy !req
397. that was not your fault
that you were involved in.Copy !req
398. Bugger.Copy !req
399. - Hello?
- Mrs Blore?Copy !req
400. Wha' is it?Copy !req
401. I'm calling about a car accident
that you were recently involved in.Copy !req
402. You are eligible for compensation.Copy !req
403. Oh, for Heaven's sake.Copy !req
404. - Yes?Copy !req
405. Hello, Mr Cowwley.Copy !req
406. We're calling about
an accident you had.Copy !req
407. It, eh, wasn't an accident, Lisa.
And this isn't Crowley.Copy !req
408. Um, h-how do you know my name?Copy !req
409. I know lots of things, Lisa.Copy !req
410. I should be grateful to you
for setting me free, shouldn't I?Copy !req
411. I mean, I should thank you personallyCopy !req
412. and meet your friends.Copy !req
413. Uh...Copy !req
414. I'm hanging up the phone now.Copy !req
415. Too late.Copy !req
416. I needed that.Copy !req
417. Right.Copy !req
418. So there really is an Antichrist?Copy !req
419. The Antichrist is aliveCopy !req
420. and on the Earth
at this moment, Sergeant.Copy !req
421. He is bringing about Armageddon.Copy !req
422. I'm sure you can seeCopy !req
423. that the imminent destruction
of the worldCopy !req
424. is not something that any
reasonable person would permit.Copy !req
425. - No.
- Am I correct?Copy !req
426. - Aye.
- The Antichrist...Copy !req
427. must be killed, Sergeant Shadwell.Copy !req
428. And you... are the man to do it.Copy !req
429. Well, I don't know about that.Copy !req
430. Um, the Witchfinder Army,
we just kill witches.Copy !req
431. I'm sure you've killed lots of those.Copy !req
432. Well, early days.Copy !req
433. This Antichrist of yours,
how many nipples does he have?Copy !req
434. Oh... uh... oodles of them.Copy !req
435. Pots of nipples.Copy !req
436. Nipples everywhere.
Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
437. Then I'm your man.Copy !req
438. Now, Sergeant,
what weapons do you have?Copy !req
439. Oh. Here.Copy !req
440. Yes, anything more substantial?Copy !req
441. Um, I've got pins...Copy !req
442. and the Thunder Gun
of Witchfinder Colonel Dalrymple.Copy !req
443. - It'll fire anything. Silver bullets.
- That's werewolves.Copy !req
444. - Ehh... Garlic?
- Vampires.Copy !req
445. Hmm. Bricks?Copy !req
446. That should do nicely. Ha!Copy !req
447. Come on.
There must be a way across it.Copy !req
448. Burning roads.
You predict this, Agnes?Copy !req
449. Why isn't there an index?Copy !req
450. You'll never escape London.Copy !req
451. Nothing can.Copy !req
452. Hastur. How was your time in voicemail?Copy !req
453. Funny, ha-ha.
Joke all you like, Crowley.Copy !req
454. There's nowhere to run.Copy !req
455. Aren't you to be lining up,
ready for battle around now?Copy !req
456. Hell will not forget.Copy !req
457. Hell will not forgive.Copy !req
458. You know where the real
Antichrist is, don't you?Copy !req
459. You'll never reach him.Copy !req
460. You're done, Crowley.Copy !req
461. Think you're going to get across that?Copy !req
462. There's nowhere to go.Copy !req
463. Let's find out.Copy !req
464. What— what— why are you driving?Copy !req
465. That's— what—
Stop this thing.Copy !req
466. You know the thing
I like best about time,Copy !req
467. is that every day it takes us
further awayCopy !req
468. from the 14th century.Copy !req
469. I really didn't like the 14th century.Copy !req
470. - You'd have loved it, then.
- Yeah.Copy !req
471. They didn't have any cars
back in the 14th century.Copy !req
472. Lovely, clever human people
inventing cars,Copy !req
473. and motorways, and windscreen wipers.Copy !req
474. - You got to hand it to them.
- Yeah. Aah!Copy !req
475. Stop it. It's over.Copy !req
476. You're doomed!
You hear me, Crowley?Copy !req
477. You're doomed.
Whatever happens. Doomed!Copy !req
478. See? This day's already got better.Copy !req
479. Stop this!
You'll discorporate us both!Copy !req
480. - This is not funny!
- Come on!Copy !req
481. If you've got to go, then go with style!Copy !req
482. I hate you!Copy !req
483. You are my car.Copy !req
484. I've had you from new.
You are not going to burn.Copy !req
485. Don't even think of it.Copy !req
486. Ha-ha!Copy !req
487. Crowley has something
no other demons have,Copy !req
488. especially not Hastur:
an imagination.Copy !req
489. Right now,
he's imagining that he is just fine,Copy !req
490. and that a ton of burning metal,
rubber and leatherCopy !req
491. is a fully functioning car.Copy !req
492. He had started the journey
in his Bentley,Copy !req
493. and he was damned if he wasn't
going to finish itCopy !req
494. in the Bentley as well.Copy !req
495. The boffins are on their way.Copy !req
496. In the meantime,
nothing is getting out of London.Copy !req
497. - You sure about that?Copy !req
498. What was...?Copy !req
499. Right now, that's someone else's problem.Copy !req
500. He was waving.Copy !req
501. Listen, I'm sorry I made you all shut up,Copy !req
502. but I'm going to make it
so you can talk again,Copy !req
503. and we'll all play a game.Copy !req
504. We're all going to meet my new friends.Copy !req
505. You'll like them so much.Copy !req
506. Come to me!Copy !req
507. Come to me!Copy !req
508. - Come on. We can still be friends.Copy !req
509. After all the people have gone,Copy !req
510. you can rule the world that's left.Copy !req
511. Wensley, you can have America.Copy !req
512. And Pepper, you get Asia and Russia.Copy !req
513. And Brian, you can have
Europe and Africa.Copy !req
514. And Dog, you can have Australia.Copy !req
515. So we'd rule the world.Copy !req
516. But what about you, Adam?Copy !req
517. What?Copy !req
518. What bit are you going to have?Copy !req
519. I'll be here, same as always.Copy !req
520. On your own?Copy !req
521. I don't want to go anywhere else.Copy !req
522. And this is our Hogback Wood too.Copy !req
523. We don't want to go to America or Asia.Copy !req
524. You will do as I say.Copy !req
525. Or what?Copy !req
526. You've already taken our mouths
and frozen us here.Copy !req
527. We can't get away.Copy !req
528. Actually, he could kill us.Copy !req
529. Yes, you could do that.Copy !req
530. You aren't frozen anymore.Copy !req
531. You can go anywhere you want.
See? I don't care where you go.Copy !req
532. - Goodbye, Adam.
- Goodbye, Adam.Copy !req
533. Actually, yes.
Goodbye, Adam.Copy !req
534. What do you mean "goodbye"?Copy !req
535. Stop following us.Copy !req
536. I'm not following you.Copy !req
537. We aren't your friends anymore.
We don't like you.Copy !req
538. I don't care.Copy !req
539. - Dog, come back.Copy !req
540. Dog!Copy !req
541. Let them go. You have the world.Copy !req
542. You have the power.
You have the glory.Copy !req
543. Let them go.Copy !req
544. Give me back my dog!Copy !req
545. He's not your dog.
He's his own dog.Copy !req
546. I don't think he likes you anymore.Copy !req
547. You're really scary,
and you aren't our friend.Copy !req
548. You aren't anybody's friend.
You're going to burn all this away. Why?Copy !req
549. Because some adults mucked things up.Copy !req
550. That's a reason to fix it, not destroy it.Copy !req
551. Come back. Please?Copy !req
552. Come on, little one.
Hello, Adam.Copy !req
553. I'm sorry.Copy !req
554. I wasn't...Copy !req
555. I don't think I was thinking straight.Copy !req
556. I am now.Copy !req
557. Adam, what have you done?Copy !req
558. I don't know.Copy !req
559. But whatever I've started,
we've got to stop it.Copy !req
560. We need our bicycles.Copy !req
561. Meet back here in five minutes.Copy !req
562. Where are we going?Copy !req
563. Adam.Copy !req
564. Adam, after we get our bikes,
where are we going?Copy !req
565. The end of the world.
It's not far.Copy !req
566. - I've got it.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
567. If Agnes tells you what to do,Copy !req
568. and we need to do this right,Copy !req
569. then you just need to pick
a card, any card.Copy !req
570. "When the skies are crimson seen..."Copy !req
571. Well, she got that bit right.Copy !req
572. "... then ye both must stand
between the world of lifeCopy !req
573. and the world of war,
where the iron bird lands no more."Copy !req
574. See?Copy !req
575. It could be talking about us.Copy !req
576. "Where the iron bird lands no more."Copy !req
577. Iron bird.
That could be a plane.Copy !req
578. - Mm-hmm.
- Where don't they land?Copy !req
579. There's an American
Air Force base outside of town.Copy !req
580. They don't land planes there anymore.Copy !req
581. I met some of the guys who work
there at the village pub.Copy !req
582. But why would we go there?Copy !req
583. I mean, all they have left in there
is communication technology.Copy !req
584. Computers and stuff.Copy !req
585. Nothing explosive at all.Copy !req
586. Oh, my God.Copy !req
587. Dear lady, it seems to me,Copy !req
588. we could make better time walking.Copy !req
589. It'd be a miracle
to get past 10 miles an hour.Copy !req
590. Miracles. Yes. Right.Copy !req
591. Uh, hold on extremely tightly,
Sergeant Shadwell,Copy !req
592. if you'd be so kind.Copy !req
593. - Whoa!Copy !req
594. Don't look down,
Sergeant Shadwell!Copy !req
595. And off we go then!Copy !req
596. I'm afraid we're lost.Copy !req
597. The signposts must have blown down.Copy !req
598. We're looking for the air base.Copy !req
599. Well, it's second on the right.Copy !req
600. Well, it's not exactly on the right.Copy !req
601. You go to the left, but you'll findCopy !req
602. that it winds its way around
to the right eventually.Copy !req
603. It's signposted "Porrit's Lane".Copy !req
604. You'll come into the village,
you go up past the Bull and FiddleCopy !req
605. and you can't miss it.Copy !req
606. Not sure I got that.Copy !req
607. I did. Let us go.Copy !req
608. "Behind the eagle's nest
a great ash hath fallen."Copy !req
609. That's it.Copy !req
610. You know, most of my family
thought it was somethingCopy !req
611. to do with the Russian Revolution.Copy !req
612. You know, these places have
some pretty serious peopleCopy !req
613. with some extremely
big guns guarding them.Copy !req
614. And if we don't get shot
trying to break in,Copy !req
615. then we're going to spend
the last few minutesCopy !req
616. before the world ends in a little cell
without any windows in it—Copy !req
617. Okay. I think you're getting
yourself a little overexcited.Copy !req
618. I'm not. I'm getting myself
quite calmly worriedCopy !req
619. about being shot,
and then put in a cell,Copy !req
620. and then waterboarded,
and then shot again.Copy !req
621. Don't worry,
Agnes would have definitely told meCopy !req
622. if someone was going to shoot you.Copy !req
623. This is the place.Copy !req
624. Is this all there is? I thought
it'd be more impressive somehow.Copy !req
625. All these thousands of years waiting,
just for a ride of a hundred miles.Copy !req
626. If Armageddon is anywhere,
then it is everywhere.Copy !req
627. Let's crash through the barriers.Copy !req
628. No. We go in,
we do the job, we go out.Copy !req
629. The geography is immaterial.Copy !req
630. Surprise inspection, officer.Copy !req
631. I was not informated on
any surprise inspection, sir.Copy !req
632. Well, if you had, it wouldn't be
a surprise, now would it?Copy !req
633. Can I...Copy !req
634. Can I see some kind
of identification, sir?Copy !req
635. Very good, sir.Copy !req
636. Don't tell them we're coming, officer.Copy !req
637. We want it to be a surprise.Copy !req
638. "Behind the eagle's nest,
a great ash hath fallen."Copy !req
639. Well, she's on the money there.Copy !req
640. - Nice going, Dick Turpin.Copy !req
641. You really do call your car
"Dick Turpin".Copy !req
642. Yes.Copy !req
643. I bet you're hoping one day
someone's going to ask you why.Copy !req
644. Maybe.Copy !req
645. Right.Copy !req
646. It can't be this easy.
It really can't.Copy !req
647. There's going to be guards
and security cameras.Copy !req
648. Where are we going?Copy !req
649. There.Copy !req
650. How do you know?Copy !req
651. Because everything in my life,Copy !req
652. everything Agnes wrote down
on that book 400 years ago,Copy !req
653. everything is all leading me here.Copy !req
654. Now. With you.Copy !req
655. I know.Copy !req
656. - How are we going to stop them exactly?
- Come on.Copy !req
657. It's stupid calling it a military base.Copy !req
658. I went up there on their open day,Copy !req
659. and they didn't even
have guns and things.Copy !req
660. Just lots of radios,
satellite dishes and stuff.Copy !req
661. Yeah, it was all knobs and dials.Copy !req
662. Stupid.Copy !req
663. What are your new friends
going to do here?Copy !req
664. Well, I suppose they could patch
into the worldwide military netCopy !req
665. and issue orders to all computersCopy !req
666. to activate all automated
systems and start fighting.Copy !req
667. Actually, that would be quite difficult.Copy !req
668. Not really.
Not if you're them.Copy !req
669. Oi, you! Stop!Copy !req
670. I said stop!Copy !req
671. Adam Young, I thought it was you.Copy !req
672. And the rest of you.
Do your parents know you're out?Copy !req
673. Actually, it's not like there's
a law against being out.Copy !req
674. I mean, you can't get sent
to prison for "being out".Copy !req
675. Where are you four troublemakers
going this evening?Copy !req
676. And don't stick your tongue out
at me, young lady,Copy !req
677. or I'll have words with your mother.Copy !req
678. - We're going to the air base.
- If that's alright with you.Copy !req
679. I mean, we wouldn't want
to go there if it wasn't alright with you.Copy !req
680. Adam Young,
don't think I won't talk to your father!Copy !req
681. Can someone pass me the screwdriver?Copy !req
682. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
683. I am neither of Hell nor Heaven.Copy !req
684. What's so special
about this place anyway?Copy !req
685. This is a classified communications hub.Copy !req
686. Everything comes through here.Copy !req
687. See, they've made it
so they don't even have to fight anymore.Copy !req
688. - Machines will do it for them.
- Except the dying.Copy !req
689. When it comes to some things,Copy !req
690. machines will never replace people.Copy !req
691. I can feel it.Copy !req
692. Another five minutes,
and the whole world will be at war.Copy !req
693. And once the war begins,Copy !req
694. the famine comes...Copy !req
695. then the pollution.Copy !req
696. We're in business.Copy !req
697. They are taking charge
of the electricity, all of it.Copy !req
698. And under their rule, it is coming to life.Copy !req
699. They're fusing relays.
They're closing switches.Copy !req
700. They're turning off the lights.Copy !req
701. They are in control.Copy !req
702. Let's get this show off the road.Copy !req
703. - All warheads armed.
- What the heck?Copy !req
704. Did you really just say "what the heck"?Copy !req
705. Get me STRATCOM Cyber Command.
Something's happening.Copy !req
706. It has begun.Copy !req
707. Nuclear codes delivered.Copy !req
708. Everything is set in motion
for the final countdown.Copy !req
709. The sword is raised,Copy !req
710. ready to strike.Copy !req
711. What exactly is happening?Copy !req
712. Coded message from the Kremlin.
I think we're at war!Copy !req
713. - Who with?
- Who do you think?Copy !req
714. - Ukraine?
- Keep going...Copy !req
715. - Uzbekistan?
- Everybody!Copy !req
716. It's not just nuclear destruction.Copy !req
717. It's chemical too.Copy !req
718. And my favourite standbys
are all chemical.Copy !req
719. Say what you like,Copy !req
720. plutonium may give you grief
for thousands of years,Copy !req
721. but arsenic is forever.Copy !req
722. The war, the pollution
and then the winter.Copy !req
723. I like the winter. So cold.Copy !req
724. So clean. So hungry.Copy !req
725. Ah, excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.Copy !req
726. I seem to have got slightly lost.Copy !req
727. Tadfield Air Base?Copy !req
728. There are some things
it is very difficult to say.Copy !req
729. What R.P. Tyler truly wants to say is:Copy !req
730. Your car is on fire.Copy !req
731. But he can't. I mean,
the man must know, mustn't he?Copy !req
732. Perhaps it's some kind of practical joke?Copy !req
733. So he says...Copy !req
734. Might have taken the wrong turn.Copy !req
735. Signpost blown down.Copy !req
736. Easy mistake to make.Copy !req
737. So, second on the right.Copy !req
738. When what he wants to say is...Copy !req
739. Young man, your car is on fire,
and you're still sitting in it,Copy !req
740. and frankly,
it's in no fit condition to drive.Copy !req
741. Right. Got it. Terrific.Copy !req
742. - Young man?
- Yes?Copy !req
743. Very unusual weather for the time of year.Copy !req
744. I'm afraid I hadn't noticed.Copy !req
745. That's probably because
your stupid car is on fire!Copy !req
746. You see this finger, laddie?Copy !req
747. This finger could send you to your maker.Copy !req
748. It really is vitally importantCopy !req
749. that we speak to whoever is in charge.Copy !req
750. He's telling the truth.
I'd know if he wasn't.Copy !req
751. Will you please
stop interrupting? I am trying—Copy !req
752. I just thought
I'd put in a good word for—Copy !req
753. Yeah, I understand, but you must really—Copy !req
754. Will you please be quiet?
Both of you.Copy !req
755. I mean, ma'am,
I must respectfully ask you to—Copy !req
756. You wouldn't get that sort of
performance from a modern car.Copy !req
757. - Crowley?
- Hey, Aziraphale! I see you found a ride.Copy !req
758. - Nice dress. Suits you.
- Ahh!Copy !req
759. This young man won't let us in.Copy !req
760. Leave it to me.Copy !req
761. Army human,Copy !req
762. my friend and I have come
a long way, and—Copy !req
763. Which one of you did that?Copy !req
764. Okay, those kids are in big trouble.Copy !req
765. And so are you people.
Don't move!Copy !req
766. All the chickens are coming home to roost.Copy !req
767. No more chickens.Copy !req
768. Countdown to activation initiated.Copy !req
769. Our lord, our master.Copy !req
770. Our friend.
He's all we've been waiting for.Copy !req
771. When he joins us,Copy !req
772. we will be complete.Copy !req
773. Adam didn't know
what was going to happen next,Copy !req
774. but he did know what he had to do.Copy !req
775. So, what are these people like?Copy !req
776. Don't know.Copy !req
777. Are they grownups?Copy !req
778. - What the hell are you kids doing here?
- It's alright.Copy !req
779. Listen, kid, you're on military property.Copy !req
780. I think you all need to go to sleep now.Copy !req
781. All you soldiers.Copy !req
782. I'm here!Copy !req
783. He is here.Copy !req
784. Everything ends now.Copy !req
785. Time is over.Copy !req