Good Luck Charlie 3x21

1. Well, Charlie, here we are in our hotel room,

2. and we're not on vacation.

3. Confused? Well, get comfortable,

4. 'cause it's a doozy.

5. ( pounds ) Charlie, get out of the bathroom!

6. In a minute!

7. Hey. Come on, guys. Huh?

8. Not so bad. Kind of an adventure.

9. - Oh, save it. - Be quiet!

10. - Shut up. - Come on.

11. I'm just trying to make the best of it.

12. - 'Cause you caused it. - Not totally my fault.

13. - Then whose fault was it? - I'll get back to you on that.

14. Ugh. Teddy, I need a hand.

15. So how we got here is kind of a long story.

16. Let's just say this is the worst day in Duncan family history.

17. - Amy: Teddy, now! - I'm coming!

18. To be continued.

19. ( softly ) OH. YOU HEAR THAT, TOBY?

20. IT'S CALLED QUIET.

21. ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN, 'CAUSE IN THIS HOUSE IT DOESN'T LAST LONG.

22. - Gabe: MOM! - HMM? TOLD YOU.

23. WHY IS TOBY'S CRIB IN MY ROOM?

24. BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE SHARING A ROOM NOW.

25. - WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. - NO, WE DIDN'T.

26. WE DIDN'T? OH, WELL,

27. TOBY AND I TALKED, AND HE'S FINE WITH IT.

28. I— I CAN'T SHARE A ROOM WITH A BABY.

29. I'M A TEENAGER NOW. I NEED MY OWN SPACE.

30. WELL, I'M SORRY, HONEY, BUT WE ONLY HAVE SO MANY ROOMS.

31. - BESIDES, YOU LOVE TOBY. - THIS ISN'T ABOUT LOVE.

32. THIS IS ABOUT SQUARE FOOTAGE.

33. WELL, IF IT MAKES IT ANY EASIER,

34. TOBY'S ABOUT THE SAME AGE YOU WERE WHEN YOU MOVED IN WITH P.J.

35. YEAH, BUT WITH ME AND P.J.,

36. THE LITTLE BROTHER WAS IN CHARGE.

37. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING WITH US.

38. OH... AREN'T YOU ADORABLE?

39. STOP THAT, GABE! STAY STRONG.

40. OH, HEY, P.J.

41. YOU ARE A GOOD COOK. COULD YOU TASTE THIS

42. - AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK? - SURE.

43. ( clears throat ) UM, WHAT IS IT?

44. WELL, THAT'S NOT A GOOD QUESTION.

45. IT'S NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER.

46. AH. WELL,

47. I'M NOT GETTING ANY CHOWDER...

48. OR CLAMS.

49. OR EVEN ENGLAND.

50. IT IS NEW, THOUGH.

51. OH MAN!

52. I WANTED TO MAKE SPENCER A SPECIAL WELCOME-HOME LUNCH.

53. HE WAS VISITING BIPA.

54. BIPA, THE BOSTON INSTITUTE OF PERFORMING ARTS.

55. - HE'S HOPING TO GO THERE NEXT FALL. - ( doorbell rings )

56. THERE HE IS. HEY, UM, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD RESCUE THIS?

57. - NO PROBLEM. - THANK YOU.

58. STEP ONE.

59. - ( gasps ) OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME. - HEY. ( laughs )

60. - SO HOW WAS BIPA? - SUPA.

61. IT'S HOW THEY SAY "SUPER" IN BOSTON.

62. I KNOW. HEY, YOU WANNA HEAR HOW THEY SAY,

63. "GO PARK YOUR CAR IN HARVARD YARD"?

64. "PAHK YOUR CAH IN HAHVAHD YAHD."

65. ( laughs ) SUPA.

66. ( laughs ) MINE'S BETTER.

67. SO HEY, HOW WAS IT?

68. OH MY GOSH, THE SCHOOL IS AMAZING.

69. - I MEAN, I LOVED IT. - THAT'S AWESOME.

70. SO WHEN DO YOU FIND OUT IF YOU GOT IN?

71. I ALREADY FOUND OUT.

72. THEY ACCEPTED ME.

73. WAY TO GO, BOYFRIEND!

74. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DOING A HAPPY DANCE?

75. WELL, 'CAUSE— 'CAUSE THERE'S ONE OTHER THING.

76. UM, THEY WANT ME TO START A LITTLE EARLY.

77. WELL, LIKE HOW EARLY?

78. MONDAY.

79. - WHAT? - YEAH, IT'S CALLED EARLY ENROLLMENT.

80. THEY HAVE A SPACE AVAILABLE AND IF I WANT IT,

81. I HAVE TO TAKE IT RIGHT NOW.

82. BUT YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL.

83. YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH CREDITS TO GRADUATE.

84. WOW. THIS IS...

85. WOW.

86. HEY, TEDDY, I— I HAVEN'T MADE MY DECISION YET.

87. I MEAN, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FIRST.

88. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

89. I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST KIND OF IN SHOCK.

90. - YEAH, ME TOO. - ( footsteps )

91. WHO'S READY FOR SOME DELICIOUS NEW ENGLAND CHICKEN NOODLE CHOWDER?

92. DENVER OMELET?

93. GUYS, GUYS, I HAD AN UNBELIEVABLE DAY AT WORK.

94. WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

95. OH, I THINK I HEAR TOBY.

96. - BABY'S RIGHT THERE. - ( coos )

97. - OH, THEN I THINK I HEAR CHARLIE. - CHARLIE'S AT A PLAYDATE.

98. ( whispers ) I'M TRYING TO GET OUT OF A BUG STORY.

99. - WORK WITH ME HERE. - OKAY.

100. SO I'M DOING A ROUTINE SPRAY JOB OVER AT THE ANDERSONS'--

101. THEY HAVE A MONTHLY MAINTENANCE PACKAGE,

102. SO THAT MEANS I GO EVERY OTHER TUESDAY.

103. SO THE FIRST TUESDAY IS PERIMETER,

104. - THE SECOND TUESDAY'S INTERIOR. - I THINK I HEAR THE DOORBELL.

105. OH NO, YOU DON'T.

106. ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT—

107. - I CAPTURED THESE BAD BOYS. - UGH.

108. HUH? BRAZILIAN TERMITES.

109. VERY RARE, VERY DESTRUCTIVE

110. AND THEY'VE NEVER BEEN FOUND IN NORTH AMERICA

111. UNTIL NOW.

112. WELL, IF THEY'RE SO DESTRUCTIVE,

113. WHY WOULD YOU BRING THEM INTO OUR HOUSE?

114. OUR WOODEN HOUSE?

115. HONEY, I'M NOT AN IDIOT.

116. THIS CONTAINER— TERMITE-PROOF.

117. - ARE YOU SURE? - I AM SURE.

118. BESIDES, IT'S ONLY GONNA BE FOR ONE NIGHT.

119. TOMORROW I'M TAKING 'EM TO THE UNIVERSITY OF DENVER.

120. ( laughs ) THIS COULD LAND ME

121. IN THE EXTERMINATOR HALL OF FAME.

122. BOB HONEY, THAT DOESN'T EXIST.

123. HONEY, YES, IT DOES. IT'S IN DETROIT.

124. USED TO BE IN CLEVELAND, BUT THEY HAD TO MOVE IT.

125. RAT PROBLEM.

126. SO I KNOW THAT IT'S A GREAT OPPORTUNITY,

127. BUT IF SPENCER LEAVES NOW, I'M GONNA BE SO SAD.

128. WE HAVE SO MANY PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

129. WHEN I GET A BOYFRIEND,

130. WE'RE GONNA MAKE A BUNCH OF PLANS TOO.

131. MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE A PLAN TO GET A BOYFRIEND.

132. MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE A PLAN NOT TO TELL ME TO MAKE A PLAN.

133. VOLLEYBALL FRIENDS, HUH?

134. WELL, ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME.

135. SO SPENCER ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT HE SHOULD DO

136. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HIM.

137. I THINK IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A BOYFRIEND,

138. YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER LET HIM GO—

139. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO LOCK HIM IN THE BASEMENT AND NOT TELL ANYBODY.

140. SO...

141. OF COURSE I DON'T WANT SPENCER TO GO,

142. BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO KEEP HIM FROM GOING.

143. OH MAN. I WISH I HAD SOME EXPERIENCE WITH THESE THINGS,

144. BUT FOR SOME REASON BOYS FIND ME WEIRD AND OFF-PUTTING.

145. NOT JUST BOYS, SWEETIE.

146. KELSEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

147. I THINK WHATEVER HAPPENS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

148. BUT IF SPENCER GOES, THEN TEDDY WILL BE CRUSHED.

149. - YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT. - AND IF HE DOESN'T GO,

150. - HE MIGHT BE MISERABLE. - THAT'S A GOOD POINT, TOO.

151. SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

152. THAT I AGREE WITH EVERYBODY.

153. BUT YOU CAN'T AGREE WITH EVERYBODY.

154. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

155. YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN!

156. OKAY, I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

157. - WHAT IS IT? - I NEED SOME NEW FRIENDS.

158. MY LITTLE DEEDEE JUST LOVES PLAYING WITH YOUR LITTLE CHARLIE.

159. - OH. - ALTHOUGH, LAST TIME SHE ASKED ME,

160. "WHY DOES CHARLIE HAVE A BOY'S NAME?"

161. AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER.

162. HEY, HONEY. HOW'S YOUR PLAYDATE GOING?

163. - EH. - MMM.

164. WHERE'S DEEDEE?

165. IN JAIL.

166. WHAT DOES "JAIL" MEAN EXACTLY?

167. UH, WELL, IT MEANS

168. - WE'D BETTER GO CHECK. - MMM.

169. ( gasps ) OH, MY.

170. - OH. OH, DEEDEE. - ( Amy laughs )

171. - NOT FUNNY. - OH, SORRY.

172. - OH. - YEAH, YOU GUYS GO PLAY.

173. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST STAY IN HERE WITH THE GIRLS FOR A WHILE.

174. - SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. - OKAY, SURE.

175. WELL, AT LEAST THIS WILL MAKE A GOOD POST FOR MY BLOG.

176. UH, YOU HAVE A BLOG?

177. I CALL IT "MAMA DEBBIE'S DAILY DOING'S."

178. ( laughs ) OH MY.

179. OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS.

180. YOU BETCHA.

181. I POST RECIPES,

182. OFFER HELPFUL HINTS,

183. SHARE FUN THINGS

184. DOUG DOOLEY AND I DO TOGETHER.

185. JUST PASSING ALONG SOME OF THE THINGS

186. I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MOTHERHOOD AND SUCH.

187. WOW, AND YOU'VE BASED THIS

188. ON YOUR VAST EXPERIENCE WITH ONE CHILD?

189. AND ONE ON THE WAY

190. FOR A TOTAL OF TWO.

191. OH. I HAVE A TOTAL OF FIVE.

192. IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

193. ( seriously ) IT WASN'T.

194. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE? - TOBY KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT.

195. AH. IT'S CALLED PAYBACK.

196. WHEN YOU WERE A BABY,

197. YOU USED TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE, TOO.

198. I WILL NEVER FORGET

199. THE NIGHT I WOKE UP IN YOUR CRIB

200. AND YOU WERE IN MY BED.

201. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU DID THAT.

202. WELL, ME AND TOBY SHARING A ROOM IS NOT GONNA WORK.

203. SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE... NOW.

204. OH! ARE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING BAD?

205. 'CAUSE THAT'D BE GREAT...

206. - FOR ME. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

207. WELL, I HAVE TO BREAK SOME DIFFICULT NEWS TO MOM AND DAD,

208. AND THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY.

209. SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE IF YOU GOT IN TROUBLE,

210. I COULD SNEAK MY NEWS IN AND KIND OF PIGGYBACK ON YOUR BADNESS.

211. WELL, WHAT'S THE NEWS?

212. OH, IT'S NOTHING.

213. YOU KNOW, I'D GET IT OUT OF YOU,

214. BUT I AM WAY TOO TIRED.

215. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

216. YOU GONNA BE GETTING INTO TROUBLE ANYTIME SOON?

217. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S DIFFERENT.

218. I'M A TEENAGER NOW.

219. WELL, WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT?

220. THAT IS QUITTER TALK.

221. BRAZILIAN TERMITES.

222. THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING THING

223. SINCE I DISCOVERED THOSE UKRAINIAN GRUB WORMS IN '06.

224. EXCUSE ME, I DISCOVERED THOSE.

225. NO, I WAS IN THE CRAWL SPACE.

226. YOU WERE IN THE PORT-A-JOHN.

227. FINE. HERE.

228. FEAST YOUR EYES ON THOSE LITTLE BEAUTIES.

229. I DON'T SEE 'EM.

230. - WELL, THEY'RE IN THERE. - ARE YOU SURE?

231. ALL I SEE ARE TWO LITTLE HOLES.

232. HOLES?

233. OH NO.

234. NO NO NO!

235. THEY ATE RIGHT THROUGH THE PLASTIC!

236. OH, THIS IS BAD. THIS IS REALLY BAD.

237. OKAY, LOOK, WE GOTTA WIPE 'EM OUT BEFORE THEY MULTIPLY—

238. MORE IMPORTANTLY, BEFORE AMY FINDS OUT.

239. WELL, WE COULD TENT THE PLACE.

240. HEY, THERE YOU GO.

241. SHE'LL NEVER NOTICE A GIANT GAS-FILLED TARP COVERING THE HOUSE.

242. WELL, THEN WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

243. I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

244. TO THE BUGMOBILE!

245. I LOVE WHEN HE DOES THAT.

246. HEY, SWEETIE, CAN YOU GO GET ME THE JAIL? MOMMY NEEDS TO DO LAUNDRY.

247. - OKAY. - THANK YOU, SWEETIE.

248. HI, CHARLIE. HEY, MOM.

249. - HEY, SWEETIE. - WHAT YOU DOING?

250. WORKING ON MY MOMMY BLOG.

251. MOMMY BLOG? THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU.

252. I AM GONNA KICK DEBBIE DOOLEY'S BUTT.

253. THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU.

254. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I'M HAVING TROUBLE COMING UP WITH TOPICS.

255. WHAT KIND OF STUFF DOES DEBBIE POST ABOUT?

256. - RECIPES— - OOH, SO THAT'S OUT.

257. SHE ALSO WRITES ABOUT FUN STUFF SHE DOES WITH HER HUSBAND,

258. SO THAT'S OUT TOO.

259. HEY, WHERE IS GABE? HE'S ALWAYS UP TO SOMETHING?

260. WELL, HERE'S HOPING.

261. I MEAN FOR YOU AND YOUR BLOG.

262. NOT FOR ME. ( scoffs )

263. WHY WOULD I NEED HIM TO DO ANYTHING BAD?

264. COMING!

265. - HEY. - HI.

266. - SO LISTEN, I— - SO, TEDDY, I—

267. - YOU FIRST. - OKAY.

268. I'M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT.

269. I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO BOSTON.

270. OH.

271. 'CAUSE I WAS KINDA LEANING TOWARDS NOT GOING.

272. - WHY? - I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN LEAVE YOU.

273. OH, SPENCE, BUT BIPA IS YOUR DREAM SCHOOL.

274. IT'S THE BEST MUSIC PROGRAM IN THE COUNTRY

275. AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DON'T GRAB THIS OPPORTUNITY,

276. YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

277. YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT THE ONLY COLLEGE OUT THERE.

278. I MEAN, I COULD STAY HERE AND AUDITION

279. FOR THE DENVER INSTITUTE OF PERFORMING ARTS.

280. - ( inhales sharply ) DIPA? - YEAH.

281. DIPA'S NOT AS GOOD AS BIPA.

282. OH YEAH? YOU KNOW WHO WENT TO DIPA?

283. - KELLY RIPA. - RIPA WENT TO DIPA?

284. NO, I JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.

285. HEY, YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO DO THIS.

286. YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT US?

287. WELL, THERE WILL STILL BE AN US,

288. JUST A LONG-DISTANCE US.

289. YOU REALLY THINK WE CAN MAKE THAT WORK?

290. HEY, NOTHING IS FAR AWAY ANYMORE.

291. WE CAN— WE CAN TEXT.

292. WE CAN TALK ON THE PHONE.

293. WE CAN VIDEO CHAT. WE CAN EMAIL.

294. OH, AND THE GREAT PART IS THAT WHEN I SMELL FUNNY,

295. - YOU WON'T HAVE A CLUE. - ( laughs )

296. - HEY, YOU NEVER SMELL FUNNY. - I KNOW.

297. IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, SWEETIE. WE CAN DO THIS.

298. YEAH, OF COURSE WE CAN.

299. SO WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?

300. WELL...

301. TOMORROW.

302. OKAY.

303. THEN COME HERE.

304. UNTIL TOMORROW,

305. I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU GO.

306. ME NEITHER.

307. HEY, IT'S KINDA COLD OUT HERE. YOU WANNA GO INSIDE?

308. SURE.

309. OKAY, MY HUNGRY LITTLE ANTS,

310. TODAY'S SPECIAL

311. IS BRAZILIAN.

312. BON APPETIT.

313. - DAD? - OW!

314. - P.J.! - WHY ARE YOU RELEASING ANTS IN THE HOUSE?

315. UH, BECAUSE...

316. I'M TRAINING.

317. I'M LETTING THE ANTS GO NOW

318. SO I CAN CATCH 'EM AGAIN LATER.

319. ALL THE EXTERMINATORS DO IT.

320. DAD, DO YOU THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY

321. I'M NOT THE BRIGHTEST DUNCAN?

322. IT— IT'S MORE THAN FAIR, SON.

323. SO IF I'M NOT BUYING THIS STORY, WHO DO YOU THINK WILL?

324. ( sighs ) ALL RIGHT, LOOK,

325. THOSE BRAZILIAN TERMITES THAT I BROUGHT HOME?

326. - MM-HMM. - THEY GOT OUT, SO I BROUGHT IN SOME ANTS,

327. BECAUSE THE ANTS WILL EAT THE TERMITES. SEE?

328. SO IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

329. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

330. WHY DON'T YOU JUST TENT THE HOUSE?

331. 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT YOUR MOM TO FIND OUT.

332. BECAUSE IF MOM FOUND OUT, THAT'D BE BAD.

333. THAT WOULD BE VERY BAD.

334. BUT SHE'S NOT GONNA FIND OUT.

335. RIGHT, RIGHT.

336. BUT WHEN SHE DOES, COULD YOU LET ME KNOW?

337. - WHY? - JUST 'CAUSE.

338. ( scoffs ) IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE.

339. COMING!

340. - HELLO? - Gabe: IT'S OPEN!

341. - WHAT IS THIS? - IT'S MY NEW ROOM.

342. - NO, IT'S NOT. - THEN WHAT'S MY BED DOING HERE?

343. GABE, YOU ARE NOT TAKING OVER THE LIVING ROOM.

344. IT'S NOT THE LIVING ROOM. IT'S THE FIREPLACE AREA.

345. OH YEAH, THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER—

346. GABE WITH FIRE IN HIS ROOM.

347. NOW PACK IT UP!

348. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR ANSWERING THE CURTAIN.

349. IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOUR FACE.

350. I KNOW IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS, BUT I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

351. Oh, I miss you too.

352. And I'm sorry we haven't been able to talk very much,

353. it's just with orientation and everything—

354. IT'S OKAY. I GET IT.

355. TEDDY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH TOBY?

356. BE RIGHT BACK.

357. - ( yawns ) MORNING, HONEY. - HELLO.

358. - Spencer: Hey, Mr. Duncan. - OH!

359. SPENCER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER?

360. Oh, just video-chatting.

361. HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT?

362. YOU SEE THE BUTT SCRATCH?

363. Yes, sir.

364. I HAD AN ITCH.

365. Oh no, I completely understand.

366. It's just— well,

367. after the scratch you picked up an apple

368. then you put it back.

369. WELL, YEAH, I JUST—

370. I REALIZED I WAS IN THE MOOD FOR CEREAL.

371. Not really the point.

372. - OKAY, I'M BACK. ( chuckles ) - SEE YOU.

373. FINALLY, WE'RE ALL ALONE.

374. HELLO.

375. EXCEPT FOR CHARLIE.

376. - Hi, Charlie. - HOW DID HE GET IN THERE?

377. CHARLIE, SPENCER'S NOT REALLY IN THE COMPUTER.

378. - HE'S IN BOSTON. - CAN YOU SEE ME?

379. I sure can.

380. I just can't see your sister.

381. YEAH, JUST CHILLING IN MY NEW ROOM, DUDE.

382. YEAH, I'M LOVING IT.

383. UM, I'M GONNA NEED TO CALL YOU BACK.

384. NO, THE SPIN CYCLE JUST STARTED.

385. THIS MIGHT BE A PROBLEM.

386. - HI. - HI.

387. JUST THOUGHT I'D POP OVER AND TELL YOU

388. - I SAW YOUR BLOG. - OH.

389. AND I ESPECIALLY ENJOYED YOUR FIRST POST,

390. "THAT DARN CARLIE."

391. SO IMPORTANT TO PROOFREAD.

392. OH.

393. WELL, THANK YOU.

394. AND NEXT TIME YOU HAVE ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS,

395. DON'T COME OVER. YEAH. JUST FEEL FREE TO PUT IT IN MY COMMENTS SECTION.

396. OH, THAT'S THOUGHTFUL.

397. MM-HMM. WELL, I ALWAYS ENJOY TELLING YOU WHERE TO PUT THINGS.

398. MMM. SINCE I'M HERE NOW,

399. LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS.

400. I CALL THEM "DEBBIE DOOLEY'S DOs AND DON'Ts."

401. DO USE SPELL-CHECK.

402. DON'T NOT USE SPELL-CHECK.

403. DO KNOW THAT MY BLOG

404. WILL ALWAYS BE MORE POPULAR THAN YOURS.

405. DON'T THINK IT WON'T.

406. OKAY.

407. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.

408. THOUGH, YOU KNOW, I HAVE SOME HELPFUL HINTS MYSELF. YEAH.

409. ( mockingly ) DO GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

410. DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN.

411. SO HOW'S THE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP GOING?

412. NOT GOOD. YOU KNOW, WE BOTH HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT SCHEDULES,

413. WE BARELY HAD ANY TIME TO TALK.

414. TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD'VE LOCKED HIM IN THE BASEMENT.

415. I KNOW IT'S ONLY BEEN THREE DAYS,

416. BUT I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

417. I JUST WISH I COULD SEE HIM.

418. SO WHY DON'T YOU?

419. FLY ALL THE WAY TO BOSTON

420. BY MYSELF?

421. MY MOM AND DAD WOULD NEVER LET ME DO THAT.

422. UNLESS THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.

423. YOU COULD JUST TELL THEM

424. THAT YOU'RE SPENDING THE WEEKEND AT MY HOUSE.

425. - OOH. - MM-HMM.

426. THAT'S GOOD. I LIKE THAT.

427. SO THIS WEEKEND,

428. WE'LL BE AT "YOUR HOUSE."

429. IT'S NOT REALLY HAPPENING.

430. YEAH, IT'S NOT REALLY HAPPENING.

431. ( whispers ) I'LL BRING THE POPCORN BALLS.

432. ( sighs ) THIS IS NICE.

433. - ( garage door rattling ) - ( vehicle approaches )

434. - ( engine stops ) - ( door opens )

435. - HEY, GABE. - YOU LEFT THE LIGHTS ON, DAD.

436. THEY TURN OFF BY THEMSELVES.

437. - ( clicks ) - SEE?

438. - ( alarm blaring ) - AH!

439. DAD!

440. ( shouting ) YEAH, BEEN HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH THAT!

441. - ( alarm continues ) - WELL, GOOD NIGHT!

442. OKAY, MOM. WELL, I'M OFF TO IVY'S FOR THE WEEKEND.

443. WHOA. THAT'S A PRETTY BIG SUITCASE YOU GOT THERE.

444. OH, IVY AND I ARE DOING MAKEOVERS.

445. WE'RE, UH— YOU—

446. YOU KNOW US GIRLS.

447. OH, WELL, BEFORE YOU GO, COME CHECK OUT MY BLOG.

448. OH, YOU HAVE A BLOG.

449. - "HALF A DOZEN DUNCANS." - CATCHY, HUH?

450. "THE ADVENTURES OF AMY DUNCAN,

451. A MAMA BIRD WHOSE NEST IS BURSTING WITH SIX CRAZY CHICKIES."

452. MOM, YOU ONLY HAVE FIVE KIDS.

453. I MADE ONE UP.

454. SKIPPY.

455. - SKIPPY DUNCAN. - MMM.

456. SKIPPY MARIE DUNCAN.

457. SHE'S EIGHT.

458. YOU ARE AN INTERESTING WOMAN, MOM.

459. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

460. AND OH MY GOODNESS,

461. THIS SKIPPY IS A HANDFUL.

462. LAST NIGHT BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID OF THE DARK,

463. SHE SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS.

464. BOY, DID THAT CAUSE A RUCKUS. ( laughs )

465. A VERY INTERESTING WOMAN.

466. WHAT HAPPENED? DID MOM AND DAD KICK YOU OUT

467. BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE? PLEASE SAY YES.

468. DUDE, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. THIS IS MY NEW ROOM.

469. GABE, YOU CAN'T LIVE ON THE PORCH.

470. - WHY NOT? - WELL, FOR ONE THING, THERE'S NO LIGHT.

471. PORCH LIGHT.

472. THERE'S NO RUNNING WATER.

473. HOSE.

474. WHAT ABOUT A BATHROOM?

475. HELLO. ( laughs )

476. YOU'VE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT, HUH?

477. BEEN SO BUSY WITH YOUR NEW ROOM

478. YOU FORGOT TO GET IN TROUBLE FOR YOUR BIG BROTHER.

479. WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID TO TELL MOM AND DAD?

480. CAN'T SAY. IT'S BAD.

481. OH, COME ON, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS.

482. OKAY, BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYBODY.

483. I PROMISE.

484. ( sighs ) ALL RIGHT. HERE GOES.

485. I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE.

486. WHAT?

487. OH MAN, MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA KILL YOU!

488. YOU JUST SAID IT WASN'T EVEN THAT BAD.

489. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS!

490. WAIT. WHY'D YOU QUIT COLLEGE?

491. BECAUSE IT'S JUST— IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME,

492. AND THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA DO.

493. WELL, YOU'D BETTER DO IT QUICK,

494. - BECAUSE MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA KILL YOU! - YOU SAID THAT ALREADY!

495. WELL, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TELL 'EM?

496. I DON'T KNOW.

497. SOON, PROBABLY.

498. THERE'S A CHANCE DAD MIGHT BE IN SOME HOT WATER WITH MOM.

499. I'M GONNA WAIT AND SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT.

500. HEY, CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?

501. - YEAH, SURE, GO AHEAD. - COOL.

502. - OH, HEY, HON. - HEY, SWEETIE.

503. LOOK, BABE, THERE'S SANDWICH FIXINS OVER THERE IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.

504. OH!

505. THAT SOUNDS... GUH!

506. "GUH"? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

507. NOTHING.

508. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

509. JUST STRETCHING.

510. BEFORE YOU EAT?

511. IT'S PRETTY IMPORTANT.

512. SO WHAT'S BRINGING YOU TO BOSTON?

513. WELL, HOPEFULLY THIS PLANE.

514. NO, ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA GO VISIT MY BOYFRIEND.

515. WE'RE IN A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

516. AH. WELL, YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO THE RIGHT GUY.

517. I TRAVEL FOR A LIVING

518. AND I'VE GOT TONS OF TIPS.

519. FIRST OFF, DON'T TRAVEL FOR A LIVING.

520. SERIOUSLY NOW, YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA HAVE TO HAVE

521. ONE OF THESE THINGS HANDY.

522. WELL, IT LOOKS VERY COMFORTABLE.

523. - AH. I ALWAYS CARRY A SPARE. - ( bag rustles )

524. THANKS. ( chuckles )

525. - HUNGRY? - UH, I GUESS.

526. - WHAT DO YOU GOT? - ( clicks )

527. WALDORF SALAD.

528. WELL, IF THAT'S ALL YOU GOT.

529. FRESH GROUND PEPPER?

530. DON'T MIND IF I DO.

531. BY THE WAY, I'M HERB PICKLER.

532. OH, TEDDY DUNCAN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

533. TELL ME, TEDDY,

534. DO YOU HAVE ANY NEED FOR HIGH-PRESSURE GAS FLANGES?

535. UM, NOT AT THE MOMENT.

536. OH. WELL, TAKE MY CARD, ANYWAY.

537. YOU NEVER KNOW.

538. I PRETTY MUCH KNOW, BUT THANK YOU.

539. SO HOW LONG YOU GONNA BE IN BOSTON?

540. OH, JUST FOR THE WEEKEND. I'M GONNA SURPRISE MY BOYFRIEND.

541. - OH. - I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE.

542. I'M GOING TO DENVER TO SURPRISE MY GIRLFRIEND.

543. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON HER FACE.

544. - ( knocks on door ) - IT'S OPEN.

545. SURPRISE!

546. OH WOW. THIS IS CRAZY.

547. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

548. ( clears throat ) UM, IS SPENCER HERE?

549. HE'S IN DENVER. HE WENT TO SURPRISE HIS GIRLFRIEND.

550. I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND. I CAME HERE TO SURPRISE HIM.

551. - WELL, THAT WAS EXCITING FOR A SECOND. - ( sighs )

552. TEDDY. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GUESS WHERE I AM.

553. - DENVER? - HUH. I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE HARDER.

554. YEAH, WELL, GUESS WHERE I AM.

555. BOSTON!

556. - WHAT? - WELL, I GUESS WE BOTH HAD THE SAME IDEA.

557. SURPRISE!

558. OH GOSH, THIS IS TERRIBLE.

559. WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SEE EACH OTHER.

560. YES, WE ARE. OKAY, YOU STAY RIGHT THERE.

561. I'LL JUST TAKE THE FIRST FLIGHT BACK.

562. WELL, I MEAN I'M ALREADY AT YOUR FRONT DOOR.

563. - I MIGHT AS WELL SAY HI TO YOUR PARENTS. - ( doorbell rings )

564. DON'T. NO NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

565. THEY DON'T KNOW THAT I'M OUT HERE.

566. - WELL, I JUST RANG THE BELL. - JUST— MOVE!

567. SON, THAT IS WHAT WE CALL "DING-DONG DITCH."

568. HEY, CHARLIE, WANNA PLAY A GAME?

569. OKAY, SO I'M THINKING OF A NUMBER,

570. AND IF YOU GUESS IT, YOU GET TO HAVE TOBY MOVE INTO YOUR ROOM.

571. NICE TRY.

572. P.J., YOU WANNA PLAY A GAME?

573. STILL TRYING TO FIND A BEDROOM, HUH?

574. YEAH, AND I'VE TRIED EVERYWHERE—

575. THE LIVING ROOM, THE BASEMENT, THE FRONT PORCH.

576. I ASSUME YOU'VE RULED OUT THE ATTIC. UGH!

577. - THE WHAT? - THE ATTIC. UGH!

578. WE HAVE AN ATTIC?

579. YEAH. IT'S UPSTAIRS.

580. YEAH YEAH, THAT'D BE THE PLACE FOR IT.

581. WAIT. WHY DIDN'T I KNOW WE HAD AN ATTIC?

582. YOU DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A TREE HOUSE EITHER.

583. YOU GOTTA START LOOKING UP.

584. - HUH. - SEE? UGH!

585. IT'S NOT "UGH!"

586. IT'S "HEY!"

587. - ( sighs ) - TEDDY!

588. - HERB. HI. - HEY, HOW WAS YOUR DAY IN BOSTON?

589. ( sighs ) NOT SO GOOD.

590. PILLOW ME.

591. THANKS. SO MY BOYFRIEND

592. DECIDED TO SURPRISE ME AND FLEW OUT TO DENVER.

593. OH, THE OLD DOUBLE SURPRISE GONE BAD.

594. I COULD SING A FEW BARS OF THAT ONE.

595. BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO, RIGHT?

596. NO NO, THEY FROWN UPON THAT DURING THE SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT.

597. IT'S JUST THAT BY THE TIME I GET BACK,

598. SPENCER I WILL BARELY HAVE ANY TIME TOGETHER.

599. ALL LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE BRUTAL.

600. YOU TRY TO MAKE 'EM WORK.

601. YOU EMAIL, YOU TEXT, YOU VIDEO CHAT,

602. THEN ONE NIGHT YOU DECIDE YOU'D RATHER WATCH

603. A "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" MARATHON

604. AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE THE BAD GUY.

605. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WON'T HAPPEN TO ME.

606. STAY AWAY FROM THE FIRST SEASON. IT'S ADDICTIVE.

607. GOOD TO KNOW.

608. ALL I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE

609. FOR BEING IN THE SAME PLACE TOGETHER,

610. AND ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE IS JUST KIDDING THEMSELVES.

611. OH, EXCEPT FOR YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND.

612. YOU KIDS'LL BE FINE.

613. This is the captain speaking. Just wanna let you know

614. that there's some weather over the Ohio Valley,

615. so we're gonna be a little delayed tonight—

616. three, four hours tops.

617. WHA— WELL,

618. ( emphatically ) FLY AROUND OHIO.

619. - ( sighs ) - WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE.

620. MINI QUICHE?

621. - HEY, MOM. - HEY, P.J.

622. P.J.'s voice: OKAY, SHE'S SITTING RIGHT THERE.

623. JUST GET IT OVER WITH AND TELL HER YOU DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE.

624. IF YOU HOLD IT IN ONE MORE SECOND, YOU'LL GO—

625. OOH, GRAPES!

626. WHEN DID WE GET THOSE?

627. MOM MUST'VE GONE TO THE STORE.

628. BUT SHE DOESN'T ALWAYS WASH THEM.

629. DID I JUST EAT AN UNWASHED GRAPE?

630. WHAT AM I DOING IN THE KITCHEN?

631. OH, RIGHT.

632. MOM?

633. - THERE'S SOMETHING I GOTTA TELL YA. - ( phone rings )

634. - ( sighs ) - ( beeps )

635. HELLO.

636. YEAH, HOLD ON.

637. SOMEBODY FROM "GOOD MORNING, DENVER" WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

638. "GOOD MORNING, DENVER"? THE TV SHOW?

639. YEAH.

640. I THINK I HAVE A MINUTE.

641. HELLO.

642. THIS IS SHE.

643. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

644. I— I THINK I COULD ARRANGE SOMETHING.

645. OH, VERY GOOD.

646. YES, THANK YOU FOR CALLING.

647. WHAT'S GOING ON?

648. ( inhales deeply ) I'M GONNA BE ON TV!

649. WOW, THAT'S GREAT, MOM.

650. THEY LOVED MY MOMMY BLOG

651. AND THEY WANT ME TO DO A SEGMENT ON THE SHOW!

652. AND IF IT ALL GOES WELL, BE A REGULAR.

653. - THEY SAID THAT? - NO, BUT THEY WILL!

654. AFTER I'M ON TV.

655. WELL, I THINK THAT'S ALL THE ANT TRAPS.

656. OKAY. WELL, BY NOW THE ANTS HAVE DONE THEIR JOB

657. - AND THE TERMITES ARE GONE. - SURE HOPE SO.

658. COME ON, 2,000 ANTS AGAINST TWO TERMITES?

659. I THINK I LIKES ME MY ODDS.

660. - ( cracks ) - OH!

661. OH NO, I— IT'S TERMITES!

662. DOZENS OF 'EM!

663. HOW DID THEY MULTIPLY SO FAST?

664. WELL, THEY ARE IN THE DUNCAN HOUSE.

665. KIND OF A "WHEN IN ROME" SITUATION?

666. AH. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TENT THE HOUSE.

667. WHAT AM I GONNA TELL AMY?

668. YOU COULD TELL HER THE TRUTH.

669. OR...

670. - A VACATION? - YES.

671. HONEY, YOU WORK SO HARD, YOU DO SO MUCH AROUND HERE

672. - YOU DESERVE A VACATION. - WELL, OKAY.

673. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. WHEN WERE YOU THINKING?

674. 8:00 A.M. TUESDAY TO 8:00 A.M. THURSDAY.

675. 48 HOURS OF FUN!

676. JUST YOU, ME, THE KIDS AND THE PERISHABLES.

677. BOB, BOB, I CAN'T DO THAT.

678. I'M GONNA BE ON TV TUESDAY MORNING, REMEMBER?

679. OH, RIGHT.

680. UM, OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

681. WE'LL LEAVE RIGHT AFTER YOU'RE DONE.

682. OKAY, SOUNDS GREAT.

683. HEY, WHY ARE WE TAKING THE PERISHABLES?

684. BECAUSE...

685. WE— COMING!

686. - FINALLY. - OH THERE'S MY GIRL.

687. HEY, WHAT TIME DID YOU GET IN LAST NIGHT?

688. 4:00 A.M. I AM SO SORRY.

689. THE PLANE GOT DELAYED,

690. QUICHES WENT COLD, HERB ONLY BROUGHT ONE SIDE SALAD—

691. IT WAS A COMPLETE DISASTER.

692. - HERB? - YEAH, YOU'LL PROBABLY MEET HIM ON THE FLIGHT BACK.

693. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE'RE TOGETHER NOW.

694. WELL, FOR AN HOUR.

695. - WHAT? - YEAH, I HAVE TO CATCH A PLANE.

696. - I'VE GOT CLASS TOMORROW. - WELL, GREAT.

697. SO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SPRING BREAK TO SEE YOU AGAIN?

698. OH. GOSH.

699. MY PARENTS ARE COMING TO BOSTON FOR SPRING BREAK.

700. SO WE HAVE ONE HOUR TOGETHER IN FIVE MONTHS?

701. WELL, WE CAN FIND A COUPLE OF WEEKENDS TO VISIT EACH OTHER.

702. NO, SPENCE, I CAN'T.

703. MY PARENTS DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT I TOOK THIS TRIP.

704. I CAN'T LIE TO THEM AGAIN.

705. WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

706. I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD.

707. YEAH, ME NEITHER.

708. I JUST CAN'T SPEND ALL MY TIME MISSING YOU.

709. I'M GONNA DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY.

710. YEAH, I FEEL THE SAME WAY.

711. WHAT DO WE DO?

712. WELL, I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO, EXCEPT...

713. I DON'T WANNA SAY IT. ( sniffles )

714. YEAH, I DON'T WANNA SAY IT EITHER.

715. I LOVE YOU.

716. OH, I LOVE YOU TOO.

717. I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH.

718. WHY YOU SO SAD?

719. OH, UM,

720. BECAUSE WE'RE SAYING GOODBYE, CHARLIE,

721. AND IT'S A VERY HARD THING TO DO.

722. THEN SAY, "HELLO."

723. YEAH.

724. YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S EASIER.

725. HELLO, TEDDY.

726. HELLO, SPENCER.

727. AH! HOME SWEET HOME.

728. OH! ( sighs ) GABRIEL DUNCAN, WHAT IS GOING ON?

729. THIS IS MY NEW ROOM.

730. I DIDN'T THINK YOU KNEW ABOUT THE ATTIC.

731. WELL, THE WORD GETS AROUND.

732. IT TOOK 13 YEARS, BUT IT GOT AROUND.

733. ( sighs ) HONEY, YOU CANNOT TURN THE ATTIC INTO YOUR BEDROOM.

734. ( gasps ) YOU CAN'T,

735. BUT MAYBE I CAN.

736. - WHAT? - WELL, I'VE BEEN LOOKING

737. FOR SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT ON TV TOMORROW

738. AND THIS IS PERFECT!

739. MY HOUSE WAS TOO SMALL,

740. BUT I HAD A BRAINSTORM.

741. YOU HAD A BRAINSTORM?

742. WELL, IT SURE WASN'T SKIPPY.

743. ( laughs ) NO NO NO.

744. ( P.J., high-pitched ) HI, TEDDY, REMEMBER ME?

745. NOT NOW, P.J.

746. OH, I DON'T KNOW ANY P.J.

747. I'M SOCKY THE SOCK PUPPET.

748. YEAH, I REMEMBER.

749. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE AND FEELING SAD,

750. I USED TO CHEER YOU UP.

751. AND THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE TO DO NOW.

752. LET'S TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN!

753. I DON'T THINK I CAN.

754. ( normal voice ) BETTER LET ME HANDLE THIS, SOCKY.

755. ( high-pitched ) OKAY.

756. ( normal voice ) I KNOW IT HURTS,

757. BUT TRUST ME— THIS IS THE HARDEST PART.

758. ( crying ) I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH.

759. IT'S GONNA GET BETTER. IT'S GONNA GET BETTER.

760. I KNOW 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.

761. REMEMBER WHEN SKYLER MOVED AWAY? I THOUGHT MY WORLD WAS OVER,

762. BUT SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO MOVE ON.

763. YOU WILL TOO.

764. WELL, I JUST— I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER.

765. MAYBE IT ISN'T.

766. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

767. MAYBE SOMEDAY, WHEN THE TIMING'S RIGHT,

768. YOU AND SPENCE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN.

769. ( high-pitched ) UH-OH, LINT BALL.

770. - ( coughs ) - ( laughs )

771. HEY, THERE IT IS.

772. - THERE'S THAT SMILE. - OH, SOCKY.

773. WHEN DID MY BIG BROTHER GET TO BE SO WISE?

774. - WHEN HE DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE. - YOU DID WHAT?

775. ( normal voice ) I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

776. HOW YOU FEELING, SWEETIE?

777. - YOU DOING OKAY? - I'M GOOD, MOMMY.

778. OH, HONEY, I WAS TALKING TO TEDDY.

779. NO, I'M OKAY, MOM.

780. BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

781. TODAY IS YOUR BIG DAY.

782. HEY, MOMMY'S GONNA BE ON TV.

783. YEAH YEAH.

784. TEDDY, LOOK, IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK,

785. - YOU KNOW I'M HERE FOR YOU. - THANKS.

786. Teddy's voice: GO AHEAD, TELL HER.

787. TELL HER YOU LIED ABOUT THE SLEEPOVER AND WENT TO BOSTON.

788. NOW'S THE PERFECT TIME.

789. SHE'S IN A GOOD MOOD AND—

790. OOH! GRAPES.

791. YES YES, MUCH BETTER.

792. MUCH BETTER. BEEN WANTING TO GET RID OF THAT DOOR FOR YEARS.

793. IT REALLY OPENS THE SPACE UP.

794. BOB, WHAT IS GOING ON?

795. WHY DO THINGS KEEP BREAKING?

796. HONEY, THINGS BREAK.

797. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. THE REAL QUESTION...

798. IS "WHY WEREN'T THINGS BREAKING BEFORE?"

799. THANKS, PHIL.

800. AND NOW LET'S SAY HELLO TO MOMMY BLOGGER AMY DUNCAN.

801. - GOOD MORNING, AMY. - GOOD MORNING, JAN.

802. AND GOOD MORNING, DENVER.

803. SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO US ABOUT TODAY, AMY?

804. PROBLEM-SOLVING, JAN.

805. WHEN YOUR NEST IS AS FULL AS THIS MAMA BIRD'S,

806. YOU'RE ALWAYS FINDING WAYS TO MAKE MORE ROOM.

807. ALL OF MY LOYAL READERS KNOW

808. THAT MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER CHARLIE SHARES A ROOM WITH HER SISTER SKIPPY.

809. - WHO? - SHH!

810. AND THAT SKIPPY IS QUITE A HANDFUL, ISN'T SHE?

811. OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED, JAN.

812. ANYWAY...

813. NOW THAT BABY TOBY NEEDS HIS OWN ROOM,

814. I HAVE TO FIND SOMEPLACE TO PUT MY TEENAGE BOY, GABE.

815. AND BELIEVE ME, WE TRIED EVERYWHERE—

816. THE LIVING ROOM, THE BASEMENT,

817. EVEN THE FRONT PORCH.

818. AND THEN IT HIT ME—

819. WHY NOT CLEAR OUT THE ATTIC

820. AND CONVERT IT INTO A REALLY COOL LOFT SPACE?

821. WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID.

822. IT WAS A LOT OF HARD WORK,

823. BUT AS I ALWAYS SAY,

824. A MAMA BIRD'S JOB IS TO BUILD THE PERFECT NEST.

825. COULD YOU HOLD THIS, JAN?

826. LET'S KICK IT BACK TO THE STUDIO, JAN.

827. NO NO NO, I THINK WE'LL KEEP IT RIGHT HERE.

828. WHAT JUST HAPPENED, AMY?

829. GOOD QUESTION. BOB?

830. UM, OKAY.

831. YOU KNOW THOSE TERMITES I BROUGHT HOME THE OTHER DAY?

832. THEY KINDA GOT OUT.

833. YOU LET TERMITES EAT OUR HOUSE?

834. - I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE. - WHAT?

835. AND I WENT TO BOSTON WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

836. - WHAT? - WOW!

837. MAMA BIRD, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR NEST IS FALLING APART—

838. IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?

839. Amy's voice: THIS WHOLE THING IS A DISASTER.

840. MIGHT AS WELL TELL HER THAT SKIPPY'S A LIE TOO.

841. JUST GO AHEAD. JUST DO IT.

842. AND NOW FOR THE WEATHER.

843. THE SKIES ARE SUNNY AND CLEAR.

844. BACK TO YOU, PHIL.

845. OKAY, YOU GUYS, COME ON.

846. COME ON, LET'S GO. SHAKE A LEG.

847. I FINALLY GET MY OWN ROOM AND NOW WE HAVE TO MOVE OUT.

848. IT'S JUST FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHTS.

849. WE'RE GONNA GET THE HOUSE CHECKED OUT, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S SAFE...

850. TAKE CARE OF THE TERMITE PROBLEM.

851. I THOUGHT THAT WAS IMPLIED.

852. AND THEN WE ARE GONNA MOVE BACK IN

853. AND EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE BACK TO NORMAL.

854. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NORMAL"?

855. - P.J. DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE. - TEDDY WENT TO BOSTON.

856. - DAD BROUGHT TERMITES IN THE HOUSE. - WELL, GABE...

857. - WHAT DID YOU DO? - NOTHING.

858. AS USUAL, I'M THE GOOD ONE.

859. BOB, THIS FAMILY IS COMPLETELY FALLING APART.

860. NO, IT ISN'T.

861. LOOK, GUYS, I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE FOR A REASON.

862. I WANT TO GO TO CULINARY SCHOOL.

863. I'M GOOD AT COOKING,

864. I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT IT AND I LOOK GOOD IN THE HAT.

865. OKAY, WELL, I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT YOU HAVE A PLAN.

866. YEAH, WELL, AS FOR YOU, YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE GROUNDED.

867. YOU'RE GONNA BE SPENDING A LOTTA TIME IN YOUR ROOM.

868. I DON'T HAVE A ROOM.

869. WELL, WE'RE GONNA FIND YOU A ROOM

870. AND I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN IT.

871. ALL RIGHT. COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO.

872. - CAN YOU— - YEAH.

873. THANK YOU. ( sighs )

874. OKAY, HOUSE, SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

875. OR LONGER.

876. Hi, Charlie, I'm back.

877. Umm, where was I?

878. Oh, right— worst day ever.

879. So the whole house was eaten by termites

880. and we don't have a place to live.

881. Ugh. Yeah, it's a disaster.

882. Well, not for you. You have your own apartment.

883. Oh yeah. That makes me feel better.

884. See ya.

885. - ( door opens, closes ) - ( scoffs )

886. Well, the rest of us have no idea

887. where we'll end up, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

888. But just in case, wish us good luck, Charlie.

889. - HE WAS VISITING BIPA. - WHAPA?

890. BIPA, THE BOSTOTIN—

891. BOSTOTIN— SORRY.

892. OKAY, I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.

893. - WHAPA? - BIPA, THE BOSTONIN—

894. BIPA, THE BOSTON INSTIT— ( laughs )

895. - WHAPA? - ( coughing )

896. IT'S ALL GOING SO WELL.

897. HEY, SWEETIE.

898. OH, THERE'S SOME SANDWICH FICTIONS IF—

899. - I CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. - Man: GO BACK TO ONE.

900. I'M FROM THE SOUTH. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY "FIXINS."

901. WELL, FOR ONE THING, THERE'S NO LIGHT.

902. PORCH LIGHT.

903. - ( laughing ) - NO.

904. - PORCH LIGHT'S RIGHT HERE. - IT'S RIGHT THERE.

905. SO HOW'S THE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP GOING?

906. - NOT GO— - ( motorcycles passing )

907. THERE'S, LIKE, A MOTORCYCLE GANG GOING BY THE SET RIGHT NOW.

908. I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST KIND OF IN SHOCK.

909. YEAH, ME TOO.

910. WHO'S READY FOR SOME DELICIOUS

911. NEW ENGLAND CHICKEN NOODLE CHOWDER?

912. SHOULDER BREAD?