1. And now for the finishing touch...
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2. Mr. Pancake smileyface
gets a cherry nose.
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3. That's so cute.
Is that for Charlie?
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4. Uh, yeah, for Charlie.
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5. Thank you.
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6. Hey, honey, I've got some great news.
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7. There was a bedbug infestation.
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8. At this really nice hotel downtown...
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9. Bob, it is amazing what gets you excited.
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10. Anyway, the manager of the hotel
was so pleased with the job I did.
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11. He's letting us stay in their most
romantic suite this Saturday night.
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12. That's great!
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13. You did get rid of all the bedbugs, right?
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14. It's not an exact science, honey.
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15. The point is it's free!
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16. Well, there's just one catch...
who's gonna watch Charlie?
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17. We'll do it.
We're very responsible.
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18. Don't worry...
I'll be here too.
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19. - You guys are great.
- All right!
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20. It sure is nice to have kids we can trust.
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21. And P.J.
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22. Let's throw a party!
Wait what?
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23. No, me first.
I said let's throw a party.
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24. When mom and dad are out of the house.
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25. When do you ever do bad things?
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26. I can be bad.
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27. I can be very bad.
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28. - Cannot.
- Oh yeah?
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29. - Uh-huh.
- Watch this.
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30. I'm gonna drink milk
right out of the carton.
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31. Because I'm bad.
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32. Are you gonna swallow?
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33. Huh-uh.
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34. - You wanna spit it out?
- Mm-hmm.
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35. Mom, you wanna get that?
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36. Great!
What's next?
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37. Making my own bed?
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38. - Hey, Jo.
- Why is your arm in a cast?
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39. Oh, I broke my finger.
See, I was playing baseb...
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40. Okay, now back to me.
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41. My mom says I have to go.
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42. To this stupid thing called cotillion.
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43. It's a stupid class where they reach
you manners and social graces.
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44. And other stupid stuff.
And there's a stupid dance.
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45. And I have to bring a stupid date.
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46. So I thought of you.
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47. Pass.
Bye-bye now.
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48. Oh come on, Gabe.
I think it'd be.
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49. A great idea for you to go to cotillion.
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50. Oh, now you show up.
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51. Come on, I'll get you a little suit,
we'll get Jo a lovely corsage.
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52. Trust me, you'll love it.
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53. Ever notice the things
you say I'm gonna love
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54. I never love?
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55. Yeah.
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56. Gabe's looking forward to it.
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57. See you tonight, stupid.
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58. Not that she needs any social graces.
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59. So I don't have a say in this?
You're just gonna force me to go?
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60. Oh, sweetie, that's part
of the fun of being a parent.
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61. Besides, I want at least one
of my kids to have manners.
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62. Mom, we're out of buns.
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63. Oh yeah, you're going.
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64. Okay, try this one.
Open up.
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65. Okay.
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66. Crunchy,
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67. And smooth.
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68. It's a corn chip with a
scoop of peanut butter.
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69. I call it a corn butt.
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70. It's good.
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71. Needs a new name.
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72. Hey.
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73. What are you guys doing?
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74. Testing snacks for the party.
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75. Care for a... Butt chip?
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76. How about I handle the snacks?
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77. Oh, um, Teddy?
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78. - Looking forward to the party?
- Mm-hmm.
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79. May I have the first dance?
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80. You have butt chip breath.
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81. I'll go brush.
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82. I was being insulted and you
should have defended me!
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83. I couldn't... too busy
being embarrassed by you.
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84. What's going on?
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85. Ask the woman who just got
kicked out of the grocery store.
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86. I was standing
in the 15-items-or-less line.
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87. - Just minding my own business...
- With 17 items.
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88. When this crazy woman in line behind us.
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89. Starts screaming at me to get out of line.
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90. Your mother handled it well though.
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91. Grabbed the pricing gun,
scanned the woman's face.
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92. And through this entire ugly confrontation.
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93. Your father stood there,
like an oaf, eating a donut.
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94. I was trying to get us down to 15 items.
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95. P.J., tell your father.
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96. That I will not be speaking to him.
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97. Until he apologizes for not backing me up.
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98. Okay.
Teddy, tell your mother
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99. I will not apologize.
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100. And that I will not be
speaking to her
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101. Until she apologizes
for embarrassing me.
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102. Whoa, glad I didn't get that one.
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103. Good evening and welcome to cotillion.
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104. I am Mr. Krump.
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105. And I am Mrs. Krump.
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106. And I am planning revenge on my mother.
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107. How are you this evening,
Mr. Krump?
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108. Very well, thank you.
And you, Mrs. Krump?
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109. Oh, very well, Mr. Krump.
Thank you.
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110. I have never hated
two people so fast before.
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111. Now we'll be learning the art.
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112. Of complimenting one's dinner partner.
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113. You look very lovely
this evening, Mrs. Krump.
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114. And you look most
handsome, Mr. Krump.
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115. Now, children, your turn.
Compliment your partners.
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116. Good evening, miss keener.
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117. Your eyes are as blue as the vein on Mrs.
Krump's leg.
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118. Why, thank you, Mr. Duncan.
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119. And may I say your cast is as green.
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120. As the booger peeking
out of Mr. Krump's nose?
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121. Now, gentlemen, escort your ladies.
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122. To a table and take your seats.
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123. Now when dining, it is most important.
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124. To use the proper utensils.
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125. So pick up your smallest spoon.
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126. And enjoy some melon balls.
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127. Here, miss keener, enjoy this.
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128. Exeellent technique,
Mr. Duncan.
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129. But if you use your soup spoon.
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130. You can have twice the enjoyment.
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131. Oh!
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132. I believe I'll give that a try.
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133. Oh ho ho!
Oh ho ho.
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134. All right, all right.
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135. Who did that?
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136. Oh, what are you doing?
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137. Well, since I'm no longer
talking to your mother,
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138. I figured I'd sleep down here tonight.
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139. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- I'll be all right.
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140. I'm talking to the couch.
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141. Next time you need your car insurance paid,
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142. Talk to the couch.
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143. Uh, so, dad,
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144. Are you and mom still planning on going.
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145. To that hotel tomorrow night?
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146. Not unless she apologizes.
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147. She will be doing
nothing of the sort.
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148. - I thought you weren't talking to me.
- I wasn't.
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149. - You just did.
- So did you.
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150. Well, this is nice.
You've got a dialogue going.
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151. - Oaf.
- Lunatic.
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152. Oh, P.J.,
is is bad.
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153. If they don't go to the hotel tomorrow
night then we can't have our party.
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154. - Unless...
- Unless what?
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155. - Unless they...
- Unless they what?
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156. I got the ball rolling here.
I can't think of everything.
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157. Step and turn and dip.
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158. And done.
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159. Now let's have a couple
of students on the floor.
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160. To demonstrate the position.
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161. How about.
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162. The melon launchers?
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163. Now the gentleman...
or in this case.
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164. You...
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165. Holds his left hand thusly.
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166. And his right hand.
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167. Around the lady's waist.
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168. All right, now move in a little closer.
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169. She's not going to bite.
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170. Yes, but she will punch and kick.
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171. It's true.
I do that.
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172. Move a little closer.
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173. Closer!
There you go.
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174. All right, gentlemen,
please address your partners.
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175. This is weird.
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176. - It's not so weird.
- You like it?
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177. Yeah, kinda.
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178. Ew!
You like it.
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179. - So?
- So it's gross.
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180. I don't want to be your boyfriend.
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181. - I don't want to be your girlfriend.
- Good!
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182. - Good!
- I'm outta here.
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183. Fine!
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184. Don't worry.
He'll be back.
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185. They always come back.
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186. And regret it for the rest of their lives.
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187. Look, dad,
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188. - I know you're right.
- And I know you're right.
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189. But at the end of the day
would you rather be right...
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190. Or would you rather be happy?
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191. - Well...
- Happy.
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192. The answer's happy.
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193. All you have to do
is just apologize to mom.
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194. And if you can't do it for yourself,
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195. Do it for the kids.
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196. All right, maybe you're right.
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197. Attaboy, dad.
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198. Yeah yeah yeah.
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199. And besides, you should be used
to apologizing to mom by now.
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200. You've done it like 100 times.
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201. I have, haven't I?
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202. That makes the score mom 100, dad nothing.
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203. Dad, I said like 100 to nothing.
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204. Maybe it's 200 to nothing, we don't know.
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205. Don't listen to him, just go go go!
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206. For the kids.
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207. I'm not apologizing.
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208. I'm right.
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209. And you know what?
After today.
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210. The score is going to be mom 100,
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211. Dad 1.
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212. - What just happened here?
- You blew it.
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213. You started using numbers.
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214. Stupid math.
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215. Now we're gonna have to cancel the party.
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216. No, we can't do that.
It's too late.
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217. I'll just have to talk to mom
and get her to apologize.
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218. It won't be easy, but I can do it.
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219. - Fortunately we have a special bond.
- Mmm.
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220. - Mom...
- I'm not apologizing.
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221. Good night.
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222. Okay, P.J.,
try one more time.
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223. - Okay, Charlie, what's the matter?
- I'm sad.
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224. Why are you sad, Charlie?
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225. Mommy and daddy fight.
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226. Yes, good job, Charlie.
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227. Just try not to say it with a smile.
You're sad.
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228. Let us feel your pain.
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229. - She's two. - So she can't
give us a good performance?
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230. All right, Charlie, work your
magic so we can have our party.
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231. - All right.
- Okay.
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232. - Come on.
- Okay.
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233. Mom, dad, get in here.
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234. - What's going on?
- Everything okay?
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235. Charlie seems very upset.
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236. Charlie, tell mommy
and daddy what's the matter.
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237. Party.
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238. Party!
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239. Why does she keep saying party?
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240. Just stop focusing on what she just said.
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241. Focus on what she said before,
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242. Which was "I sad.
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243. Mommy and daddy fight."
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244. Yeah, and then she said,
"I just wish they'd make up.
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245. And go to the romantic suite
at the hotel."
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246. - You said all that?
- Party!
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247. Hi, welcome to the party.
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248. Little change of plans.
You want to go around the house.
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249. To that window over there and
climb in through the basement.
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250. My mom and dad are home.
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251. So this is going to be a quiet party.
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252. We're not gonna make any noise.
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253. Now go have fun.
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254. Hi, little change of plans.
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255. Amy?
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256. Yes, Bob?
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257. Where's the couch?
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258. Oh, that old thing you've been sleeping on?
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259. I sent it out to be cleaned.
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260. You know, usually when they clean a couch,
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261. They clean it when it's still in the home.
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262. Well, couch eaners-to-go
takes it to go.
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263. I guess they have
some sort of special process.
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264. Very well, I guess I'll be sleeping
on the couch in the basement then.
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265. Yeah, I don't think so.
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266. They were having
a two-for-one special.
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267. You think you're so smart.
There's an air mattress in the garage.
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268. hey! Hey, party animals.
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269. Here's a pen and paper,
chat amongst yourselves.
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270. Okay.
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271. What?
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272. What did I say?
Vibrate only!
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273. Emmett! Emmett, take the
change out of your pockets.
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274. Oh, right.
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275. Oh!
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276. Dad's coming!
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277. Everybody into my room.
Go go go.
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278. Go go go!
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279. Ahhh!
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280. Everything okay down here?
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281. Yeah, we're fine.
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282. I mean, yeah, we're fine.
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283. - I thought I heard noises.
- No no.
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284. No. No noises
down here, dad.
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285. Just down to the brother
and sister getting along.
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286. Ow.
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287. Hey, hon... what?
Why aren't you dressed for cotillion?
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288. I'm not going.
Jo and I had a fight.
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289. - What happened?
- They made us dance really close.
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290. And she liked it!
It was gross.
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291. Well, one day you'll feel different.
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292. Then 20 years will go by.
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293. And it will be gross all over again.
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294. Gabe, jo's here.
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295. - Gabe!
- I'm sorry, what?
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296. I said give me my stupid flower, stupid.
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297. Wow.
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298. Not so gross now, huh?
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299. Just wait.
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300. Is there anything I can
get you, miss keener?
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301. I mean besides a refund...
which I can't get you.
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302. I'm just here to pass the class.
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303. Good evening, miss keener.
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304. What are you doing here, stupid?
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305. May I have this dance?
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306. Thanks.
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307. That was...
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308. Okay.
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309. Dinner, everyone, dinner.
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310. - I have a surprise for you.
- Really? What is it?
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311. I put some earthworms
into Mrs. Krump's salad.
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312. And she should be
finding them right about...
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313. Now.
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314. Oh, miss keener, you are a delight.
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315. Bob!
Where is he?
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316. What?
For heaven's sakes.
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317. What are you doing?
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318. Fine. I'm sorry, okay?
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319. What's that?
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320. I didn't hear you.
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321. Don't make me say it again.
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322. No no no, I mean I really didn't hear you.
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323. I think my ears froze.
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324. I'm sorry.
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325. I was wrong.
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326. And I behaved badly in the grocery store.
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327. And I shouldn't have embarrassed you.
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328. Man, this is hard.
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329. I don't know how you've done it 162 times.
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330. It's because I love you.
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331. Mmm, I love you.
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332. Come here.
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333. Um...
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334. You know there's a secret party
going on downstairs?
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335. Yeah, of course I do.
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336. You know we're gonna have to punish them?
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337. I'm way ahead of you.
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338. Mom, dad, we get it.
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339. Okay, we're sorry.
We'll never do it again.
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340. - Haven't we been punished enough?
- Sprinkler?
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341. Oh, sprinkler, yes, definitely.
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342. - Whoosh, whoosh...
- No!
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343. Hi, Charlie.
So finally tried doing something bad.
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344. It didn't turn out so good.
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345. I got punished.
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346. - Running man.
- Running man?
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347. Yep, and I'm still being punished.
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348. So always try and be
a good girl, because if not...
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349. Gooseneck!
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350. Yeah, good luck, Charlie.
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351. So elegant, so poised.
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352. Such sophistication.
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353. Our finest pupil ever,
Mrs. Krump.
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354. Uh-oh.
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355. She's the last of the Duncan
kids, right, Mrs. Krump?
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356. One can only hope, Mr. Krump.
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