1. Great news, everybody!
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2. This year for once, I don't
have to work on Thanksgiving.
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3. So we can all be together!
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4. And I can cook Thanksgiving dinner.
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5. - All right.
- Yay.
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6. Okay, what happened there?
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7. Honey, come on, it's just that cooking
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8. Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work.
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9. Yeah, are you sure we
shouldn't just eat out?
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10. I mean, for your sake.
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11. No way.
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12. Every Thanksgiving I have
to eat Turkey sandwiches.
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13. Out of the hospital vending machine.
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14. And you guys have to go
to the old time buffet.
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15. This year we're gonna be together,
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16. And I am gonna cook.
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17. Old time buffet offers quality and value.
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18. Yeah, and their chicken fingers, mwah!
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19. Right?
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20. We are having dinner here
and that is final.
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21. All right, okay.
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22. Actually, you know, I have a
Thanksgiving announcement.
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23. This year we are going
to be joined by grandpa.
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24. Grandpa Duncan.
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25. Yeah.
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26. Hurts, doesn't it?
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27. Oh, come on, you guys.
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28. - My dad has some good qualities.
- Such as?
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29. You know what? He exhales carbon
dioxide, which is needed by plants.
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30. All right, well, we've got bigger problems.
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31. Mom's cooking Thanksgiving dinner.
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32. Oh, no no no no no.
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33. The best chef in the house...
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34. P.J. Is cooking
Thanksgiving dinner.
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35. I am?
She's never gonna let me.
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36. That's why you have to trick her.
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37. Give her the illusion that she's
cooking, when in reality,
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38. You're the one doing all the work.
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39. Got it, got it.
Just one question.
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40. What does illusion mean?
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41. Right now?
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42. Relax, dad.
Just messing with you.
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43. Oh, by the way,
thanksgiving... two words.
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44. What you drawing there, Charlie?
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45. A Turkey.
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46. - Are you sure?
- Yeah.
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47. It looks a bit more like mashed potatoes.
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48. Look, big Thanksgiving sale
at the gizmo hut.
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49. They're selling mytabs
for $49? That's awesome!
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50. I know! But we have
to get in line early.
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51. Because they'll only have
10 of these at that price.
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52. So we have to wait in line
on Thanksgiving day?
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53. Yes, the sale starts at midnight.
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54. Why did they have to make it so hard?
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55. All we wanna do is celebrate.
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56. The true meaning of Thanksgiving...
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57. Buying electronics at terrific prices.
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58. I'm saying.
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59. Turkey.
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60. Why do you always answer
the door when I come over?
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61. How about you stop coming over and
I'll stop answering the door?
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62. Hi, Mrs. Dabney.
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63. Amy, I have a question for you.
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64. Do you know where I can
get a small Turkey for one?
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65. It's just me this year.
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66. Oh, well,
where's Mr. Dabney?
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67. Didn't you hear?
I divorced his sorry butt.
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68. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
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69. I'm not. We were just making
each other miserable.
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70. Now I can be the happy-go-lucky
person I always was.
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71. You are?
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72. I mean...
I mean, you can.
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73. You are?
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74. So anyway, I'll be eating.
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75. That tiny Turkey in that big empty house,
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76. All alone, by myself,
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77. Just me.
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78. Well, it'll be good practice for Christmas.
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79. After you.
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80. Mrs. Dabney,
would you like to...
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81. Mrs. Dabney, would
you like to join us.
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82. For Thanksgiving dinner?
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83. Well, this is coming out of nowhere.
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84. I'll have to check my schedule.
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85. Bye now.
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86. Why did you do that?
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87. I was being gracious.
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88. And I was being neighborly.
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89. All right, well, that
better end by Christmas.
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90. Hey, mom, what you got there?
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91. It's the menu for Thanksgiving.
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92. Talk about great timing.
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93. Because I was gonna volunteer
to help you cook.
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94. P.J., that is so sweet, but
actually I was gonna ask Teddy.
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95. Mom, Teddy does not have time.
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96. She is off in her own little world.
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97. With the dolls and the horses.
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98. And the dress-up.
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99. You do know she's not seven, right?
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100. Whatever.
Let me see the list.
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101. Okay, I'm just gonna put a little check.
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102. Next to the things I like to cook.
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103. Yeah, yes.
Ooh, definitely.
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104. Oh oh oh oh, yeah.
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105. Honey, you checked
everything but the rolls.
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106. Oh, right, sorry.
"rolls."
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107. Okay, fine, you can cook
all that other stuff,
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108. But I am definitely cooking the Turkey.
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109. Wait, that wasn't on the list.
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110. Well, I thought it was obvious.
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111. I got bogged down on the
side dishes, lost my focus.
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112. So how did it go?
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113. I've got some bad news.
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114. What?
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115. She's making one dish.
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116. Please say broccoli.
Please say broccoli.
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117. It rhymes with schmurkey.
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118. It's Turkey.
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119. - Hey, everybody, grandpa's here.
- Hey!
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120. Yeah yeah, my, how you've grown.
Blah blah blah.
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121. I don't believe you've met Charlie.
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122. Now why is he dressed like a girl?
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123. Well, because she is a girl.
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124. Yes, Charlie is short for Charlotte.
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125. Then why isn't
she called sharlie?
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126. Seriously, I don't get it.
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127. You give the girls boys' names.
He should be Teddy,
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128. He should be Charlie,
and she should be P.J.
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129. We're not renaming the kids, dad.
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130. Good news.
I checked my schedule,
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131. And it turns out I am
available on Thanksgiving.
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132. All right, really?
Who left the door open?
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133. Mrs. Dabney, this is my
father-in-law Frank Duncan.
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134. Frank, estelle dabney.
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135. Bob, I was wondering if you could come over.
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136. And look at my garbage disposal.
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137. - It's not working right.
- Oh, I'll do it.
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138. Had my own plumbing business for 30 years.
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139. Plumbing, now that's a man's job.
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140. You want someone to catch a butterfly,
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141. Call my son.
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142. Let's go.
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143. Yes, we're numbers nine and 10!
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144. Ha!
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145. - You're nine and I'm 10?
- Yeah.
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146. Why don't I get to be nine?
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147. What difference does it make?
We're both getting mytabs.
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148. Then I'm nine.
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149. Oh, great, I gotta spend
the rest of the day in line.
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150. Behind you two losers.
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151. Well well well,
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152. If it isn't Karl, the neighborhood jerk.
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153. If you were planning on getting a mytab,
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154. You're out of luck.
You're number 11.
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155. Not if I outrun you.
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156. And when I get my mytab, I'm gonna
go online to the losers site.
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157. And post something on your loser page.
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158. That says,
"hey, loser!"
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159. This is gonna be a long day.
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160. Excuse me, Karl.
I'm gonna zip up the invisible wall now.
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161. So we don't have to listen to you.
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162. You can still hear me.
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163. I know you can.
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164. Hey, invisible walls...
stupid.
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165. I'm sorry, what?
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166. T, you should get going so you can make
it home for your Thanksgiving dinner.
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167. Yeah, you're right. Well, I'll be back
at 4:00 so you can go to your dinner.
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168. - See ya.
- See ya.
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169. Hey, Ivy,
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170. Now that Teddy's gone,
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171. I can finally admit that
I'm not really a jerk.
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172. I'm just a vulnerable kid
who's too scared to admit.
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173. That he needs a friend.
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174. Oh, really?
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175. No, I'm a jerk.
Loser!
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176. Yep, a real long day.
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177. Oh, man, this is just weird.
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178. - What is?
- Grandpa.
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179. He seems happy.
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180. It's very unsettling.
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181. Peek-a-boo, I see you.
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182. Peek-a-boo.
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183. All right, you know what?
We'd better go make sure he's okay.
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184. Here we go.
I'm gonna get ya!
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185. Here we go.
I'm gonna get ya!
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186. Here he comes. Whooo!
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187. Oh, she's a cutie pie!
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188. And you were cute, too, when you
were at that age, Gabe. Boop.
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189. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
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190. Happy Thanksgiving.
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191. She's acting weird, too?
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192. Okay, something's not right.
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193. This is such a wonderful day.
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194. I have so much to be thankful for.
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195. Pfft. Like what?
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196. Well, I am thankful.
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197. That I have a new man in my life.
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198. And I am thankful to be that man.
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199. Um... So you two
are together now?
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200. That's right.
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201. After Frank unclogged my disposal...
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202. He unclogged my heart.
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203. So it looks like I'll be sticking around.
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204. For a while.
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205. And who knows, Gabe?
Someday soon,
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206. You might be calling me grandma.
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207. Gabe, let's go for a catch.
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208. - A what?
- Just go outside.
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209. All right, what are we gonna do?
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210. There's only one thing we can do.
We gotta split 'em up.
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211. Oh, that sounds evil.
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212. I like it.
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213. Hey, you know what?
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214. All we have to do is just help
them to get to know each other.
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215. I mean, once we do that...
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216. Then they'll hate each other.
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217. - Exactly.
- Yeah!
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218. Wait wait wait.
Should we do this?
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219. They are older people.
This may be their last chance at happiness.
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220. You mean your new mom's
last chance at happiness?
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221. Yeah, they're going down.
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222. - What happened?
- Honey, I shrunk the Turkey.
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223. Oh no, you must have flash roasted it.
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224. Flash roasted?
What's that?
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225. Well, it's complicated.
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226. It's what happens when you simultaneously.
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227. Over-breast
and under-roast.
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228. Put simply, it shrinks everything.
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229. - Even the bones?
- Especially the bones.
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230. P.J.,
what are we gonna do?
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231. Well, I'm just thinking on my feet here,
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232. - But we do have a deep fryer.
- Yeah, so?
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233. So if we deep fry a Turkey, dinner
could be ready in 90 minutes.
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234. Where are we gonna get
another bird on Thanksgiving?
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235. I have a spare Turkey in the garage.
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236. Why do you have a spare
Turkey in the garage?
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237. Why don't you have a spare
Turkey in the garage?
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238. - Go get it.
- Okay.
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239. Hey, mom, are we gonna eat soon?
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240. 'cause everyone's really hungry.
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241. And would love
to be done by 4:00.
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242. Actually, dinner has been delayed.
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243. P.J. Flash roasted
the Turkey.
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244. And now we have to start all over.
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245. Ivy, hi, it's me.
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246. Listen, my mom ruined the Turkey.
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247. And blamed it on my brother,
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248. So I'm gonna be late.
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249. Yeah, no, okay.
Don't worry, though.
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250. I'll think of something.
Just... you stay in line.
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251. I'll be there as soon as I can.
Okay.
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252. Mom, oh... mom,
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253. I have a headache.
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254. Wow. So maybe I should
rest in my room for a bit.
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255. So if you don't see me for, like,
two hours or so just remember,
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256. I'm in my room.
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257. Well, honey, you're probably hungry.
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258. Here, nibble on the flash Turkey.
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259. Yeah, I'll be in my room.
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260. If I boil you, will you plump back up?
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261. Who are you talking to?
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262. The mini Turkey.
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263. Estelle, you make me feel like a new man.
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264. - Woof!
- Meow.
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265. Hey, you know what?
I got a really fun game.
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266. Called let's not make animal sounds.
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267. So, Mrs. Dabney...
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268. Oh, Gabe, baby, why so formal?
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269. Call me Nana.
Or better yet gam-gam.
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270. So, ha ha ha,
gam-gam...
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271. It's interesting that you meowed,
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272. Because we know how much
you love your Cat caboodle.
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273. And dad doesn't like cats at all.
Isn't that right, dad?
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274. - Hate 'em.
- Then caboodle's gone.
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275. But you love that Cat more than anything.
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276. - I thought I did.
- Oh.
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277. Hey, did you know my dad snores so loud,
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278. He rattles the whole house?
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279. Good, Mr. Dabney was one
of those silent sleepers.
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280. At least with a snorer,
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281. You know there's a man in the house.
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282. And I hope he's there for a long time.
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283. Me too.
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284. - Woof.
- Meow.
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285. Hey, how we doing out here?
Everyone's really hungry.
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286. Dinner should be ready in 90 minutes.
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287. You think you could speed it up?
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288. Grandpa Frank keeps tracing finger
hearts on Mrs. Dabney's back.
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289. I guess I could whip up
some little sandwiches.
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290. - Watch the bird, okay?
- Yeah, sure.
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291. I'm gonna watch it cook twice as fast.
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292. Charlie, are you gonna eat your sandwich?
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293. - Yes.
- Well, can I have just a bite?
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294. No, daddy.
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295. I'll buy you a doll.
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296. Okay, everyone,
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297. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.
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298. No, it won't. The Turkey's
gotta cook for another hour.
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299. That's where you're wrong.
I turned up the heat.
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300. - You did what? - Turned up the
heat, cut the cooking time in half.
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301. You can't do that. If the oil gets
too hot, then the Turkey might...
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302. Explode.
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303. Oh, look at that Turkey go!
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304. Oh no, it's coming back down.
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305. - Whoa whoa whoa!
- No no no!
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306. Okay, Ivy, I'm on my way.
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307. Yeah, see ya.
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308. How you feeling, sweetie?
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309. What happened to me again?
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310. Turkey fell out of the sky on you.
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311. But turkeys can't fly.
Can they?
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312. No, I guess in cartoons they can.
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313. Oh, I like cartoons.
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314. Okay, everybody.
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315. Fresh from the vending machine.
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316. - Happy Thanksgiving.
- Well, at least they're Turkey.
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317. Or "may contain Turkey."
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318. Hey, honey, I'm sorry.
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319. You gotta eat Turkey sandwiches
in the hospital again.
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320. I know this isn't
the Thanksgiving you wanted.
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321. Well, it's not.
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322. But you know what?
We're all together.
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323. Teddy's okay.
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324. And that is what I'm thankful for.
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325. Yeah.
Hey, you know what?
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326. I am thankful for everybody in this room.
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327. - Me too.
- Me too.
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328. I'm thankful that the patient
in room 212 ordered ice cream.
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329. I wonder how the lovebirds are doing.
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330. You can't talk
to me that way.
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331. I can talk to you
any way I want, dimwit.
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332. That sounds promising.
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333. Hey, what's going on?
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334. He's an idiot.
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335. She's a battleaxe.
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336. Yeah, we knew that, but what happened?
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337. We spent an hour alone together.
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338. Longest hour of my life.
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339. So you two aren't a couple anymore?
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340. No, we are not.
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341. And to think, I was gonna
move to Arizona with you.
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342. Say what now?
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343. Wait wait.
There's still time.
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344. You guys can work this out.
I mean, you're perfect for each other.
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345. - Oh!
- Wait wait, come back!
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346. Gam-gam!
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347. Well, Charlie, another
Duncan family Thanksgiving.
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348. Has come and gone.
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349. The good news is grandpa Duncan.
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350. Has also come and gone.
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351. Hey, Teddy, tell me
what you think about this.
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352. "dear Mrs. Dabney,"
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353. I'm sorry for our ugly words.
Please forgive me.
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354. Sell your house and move
to Phoenix immediately.
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355. Do not call first.
Just surprise me.
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356. "Forever yours,
grandpa."
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357. Sign it "frank."
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358. Oh, yeah, that's good.
I could use that.
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359. Anyway, since we never got
a Thanksgiving dinner,
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360. P.J. Is about to deep fry
another Turkey.
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361. So just to be on the safe side.
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362. Wish me good luck, Charlie.
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363. That was the worst shopping experience.
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364. - Of my life.
- Mine too.
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365. I mean, I heard those sales were brutal,
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366. But I didn't know they were this bad.
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367. And we were so close
to getting that last mytab.
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368. Then that monster came in.
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369. And started throwing us
around like ragdolls.
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370. What just happened in there?
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371. Karl, are you crying?
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372. Somebody stepped on my neck.
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373. C'mon.
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374. And is it really worth treating people
like this to get a stupid mytab?
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375. Yes.
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