1. Ok people, P.J.'s birthday is this Saturday.
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2. And everyone needs to buy him a present.
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3. And by everyone, I mean Gabe.
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4. And by "buy him a present", she means actually purchase one.
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5. Not borrow or steal it.
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6. Why are you guys peeking on me. I always get P.J. a present.
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7. Last year, you wrapped up one of his shirts and gave it to him.
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8. And he loved it.
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9. I can't believe my baby boy is turning 18.
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10. Hey guys, what're you talking about?
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11. Nothing!
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12. What are you whistling about?
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13. My birthday. That's for sure.
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14. Hey P.J., how would you like a pair of pants exactly like those?
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15. Oh man!
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16. Teddy. Are you ok?
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17. I'm just bummed out that I have to kiss Spencer.
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18. Your ex-boyfriend Spencer? The one who cheated on you?
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19. No, dad, the other Spencer in my life.
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20. Well, why would you want to kiss that guy?
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21. Because I need a car.
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22. Tell him more. He's lost.
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23. Ok, I've got a new job at Super Adventure Land.
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24. I have to play the princess, princess
has to kiss to frog and the frog is...
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25. Spencer.
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26. Teddy honey, I feel for you.
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27. I know how uncomfortable it is to kiss your ex.
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28. I remember this one time in college...
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29. Today's all burnt toast
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30. Running late, and dad jokes
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31. Has anybody seen my left shoe
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32. I close my eyes, take a bite
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33. Grab a ride, laugh out loud
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34. There it is up on the roof
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35. I've been there, I've survived
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36. So just take my advice
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37. Hang in there, baby
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38. Things are crazy
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39. But I know your future's bright
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40. Everything turns out all right
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41. Your life is up and down
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42. But trust me it comes back around
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43. You're gonna love who you turn out to be
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44. Hang in there, baby.
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45. Charlie, did you do something with daddy's can?
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46. No daddy.
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47. Well did you see where it went?
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48. It's a secret.
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49. Well, do you want to tell daddy the secret?
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50. Gabe.
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51. That's why you are my favorite.
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52. Gabe. Did you just steal my can.
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53. Can? I don't know anything about the can.
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54. Step away from the cabin.
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55. No, no, dad.
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56. - Come on.
- Dad, I really don't think you want to...
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57. do that.
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58. What's going on?
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59. I'm recycling.
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60. - No kid.
- Yeah.
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61. I'm... I'm concerned about the environment.
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62. I'm gonna be on this planet for a really long time.
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63. Now you, you've got nothing to worry about.
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64. So, all this sudden interest in recycling
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65. has nothing to do with the fact that maybe...
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66. You think you can make a little money off it.
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67. Ahh, is that right?
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68. I did not know that.
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69. Well, here's something else you don't seem to know,
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70. In the state of Colorado, they don't
give you money for aluminum cans.
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71. Oh, yeah, I knew that.
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72. Oh, dad, by the way, can you give me a ride?
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73. Sure, where to?
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74. Kansas.
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75. Hey mom, guess what? I join Spanish club.
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76. Is it about taking a school trip or meeting girls.
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77. It's about taking a trip...
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78. with girls or as we say in Spanish: con-girls.
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79. Anyway I may need a passport to go to
Mexico so I need my birth certificate.
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80. - You need your birth certificate.
- Yes. You got it, right?
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81. Yeah...
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82. It's...
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83. It's in my files.
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84. I will take it out for you.
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85. - Thanks.
- Yeah, no problem.
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86. Bob, it finally happened.
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87. P.J. wants to see his birth certificate.
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88. We knew this day would come.
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89. Oh, stop whimpering and man up!
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90. Hey!
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91. Hey.
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92. So, today is the... day of the big kiss. Huh?
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93. Yeah, it's so.
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94. You look great... in that outfit.
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95. Oh, I know. I mean thanks.
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96. Look! Spencer, there is no reason why it has to be awkward.
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97. Well... It's not you and I kissing.
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98. It's just our characters. I mean we're professionals. Right?
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99. Eh, you are right. I'm as professional as a guy in...
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100. Frog suit making minimum wage it can be.
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101. Well, that's our cue.
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102. See you out there.
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103. And when their joyous dance came to an end.
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104. The prince and the princess seal their love with a kiss.
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105. Wait, Teddy.
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106. And the prince and the princess walk off
together and live happily ever after.
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107. Bob, you had 18 years to change P.J.
's birth certificate. Why didn't you?
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108. For once, can we not play the blaming game.
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109. It's the only game we know.
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110. Ok, look. There is a... there is a very simple solution.
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111. We'll just tell P.J. we can't afford to send him to Mexico.
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112. You want me to lie to him?
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113. I'm in.
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114. Hola padre. Hola madre.
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115. Hola Sr. And Sra. Duncan.
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116. Hola Emmett. C¨®mo est¨¢s?
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117. What's she saying?
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118. I have no idea.
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119. P.J., hey. Eh, listen.
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120. Look, we've got some bad news about the trip
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121. which is heartbreaking considering how
well you're doing with the Spanish.
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122. Honey. We can't afford to pay for
your trip to Mexico. I'm so sorry.
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123. Actually, the Spanish club is having fund
raised all year. The trip is paid for.
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124. Yeah. No cash ** for a free trip to our neighbour to the north.
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125. It's... south.
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126. Umm, not on the way back.
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127. Spencer.
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128. Hey, eh. Can we talk?
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129. I eh, just want to make sure you are ok.
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130. Well I'm not ok.
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131. Teddy, I felt terrible about this, alright.
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132. You are in the job first
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133. and kissing me makes you feel that
bad then I'm just going to quit.
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134. No, Spencer. It's not that the kiss was bad. It's the kiss was...
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135. Good.
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136. Ohh.
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137. You know. I didn't... I didn't want it to be good.
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138. In fact, I was all prepared to be disgusted.
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139. Thanks.
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140. Now I don't know what to do.
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141. Teddy...
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142. Hurting you was the stupidest thing I've did.
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143. Could you please give me another chance?
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144. Did you notice that every time we kiss balloons appear?
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145. It was good to see them too.
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146. Come on Charllie, say it.
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147. I love you!
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148. Isn't that adorable, grandma?
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149. Yes, she made me call just so she could tell you that.
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150. Hey listen, grandma. While I got you
on the horn a thought occured to me.
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151. Every year you send me a Christmas check for 50$.
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152. And you know what? I'm thinking about it.
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153. Won't it be easier for you to send me
the next 10 checks for all at once?
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154. You know, like a prepay plan.
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155. - Gabe!
- Got to go.
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156. Ok, out with it.
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157. What do you try to get this money for?
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158. Uhm, alright.
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159. The truth is I want the ZCube 6.
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160. A new game system? I just got you the ZCube 5 last year.
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161. Yeah, last year!
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162. It doesn't even have 3D graphics.
I might have used it as a food store.
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163. Ok, you are gonna have to find another way to
make money without shaking down your relatives.
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164. Hello.
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165. Oh, hey Aunt Diane.
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166. Yeah, thanks for calling back.
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167. Oh, what did I want?
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168. Eh, eh just... just say I.. I love ya.
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169. See what you're making me do.
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170. Eh, P.J.. There is something I need to tell you.
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171. Now before I say anything,
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172. I just want you to know your mother
and I would love you very much.
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173. That doesn't sound good. What's going on?
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174. P.J., we've been keeping a secret from you.
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175. - What is it?
- It's about your name.
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176. As you know, you were named after
your great grandfather Patrick John.
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177. Yeah, they gave and usually called me Patty John.
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178. Yeah, yeah, ok, here is what you don't know.
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179. Uhm, when you were born,
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180. I filled out the papers and I was really nervous and...
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181. I-I-I think my hand was shaking a little and here.
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182. That is your legal birth certificate.
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183. That's what P.J. stands for.
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184. I'm afraid so.
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185. My name is Potty John.
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186. Legally, yes!
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187. Potty John.
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188. I'm named after two toilets.
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189. Legally, yeah!
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190. And you never bother to fix this.
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191. But we always meant to.
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192. I just, we just never got around to it.
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193. Kinda like the upstairs potty huh?
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194. Too soon?
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195. So your dad and I were talking and...
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196. We felt really bad that you have to go to work every day
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197. and kiss that horrible Spencer.
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198. Yeah. "Horrible" is kinda a strong word.
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199. Anyway, since the only reason you're
doing this is to get money for a car.
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200. Well...
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201. Come with me.
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202. Tada!
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203. - Ooh. What's this?
- It's your new car.
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204. Shut up!
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205. One of the other nurses was selling it and I got a great price.
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206. Now it's all yours.
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207. Aww! I don't know what to say. Thank you thank you...
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208. Get in.
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209. And the best part is now you can quit your job
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210. so that you never have to go near that jerk Spencer ever again.
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211. Yay.
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212. You should give it a name.
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213. Oh I know. How about the: "Now I don't
have to kiss Spencer anymore mobile"?
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214. Or Ed. I kinda like Ed.
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215. Come on in guys. Right this way.
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216. The fun begins in a minute.
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217. - Err, Gabe.
- Yep.
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218. Who're these kids. I've never seen them before.
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219. You've never seen them because these are
the kids who never get invited anywhere.
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220. Ok, so why are they here. What's in it for you.
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221. The satisfaction of bringing joy to a few sad misfits.
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222. Excuse me!
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223. Yes!
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224. Do I give you the twenty dollars
now or when the play date is over?
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225. - Now is good.
- Awesome.
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226. Gabe.
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227. Did you see the smile on the little scamp's face.
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228. Mom, I had the craziest dream last night.
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229. Ooh, me too.
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230. I was in high school.
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231. Only I had wings and all the cheerleaders were really jealous
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232. because I kept flying around during our routine.
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233. Then out of nowhere, Lady Gaga appeares throwing her shoe at me.
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234. Ok mom, can we stay on me.
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235. Anyway, in my crazy dream,
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236. Spencer and I got back together.
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237. And then you guys found out and you took my car away.
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238. Oh duh.
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239. You know Teddy, my dream is a lot more entertaining than yours.
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240. Mom, I have to tell you something.
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241. Did you know that this car has a satellite radio?
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242. - It does?
- Uh-huh.
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243. Over 100 stations.
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244. Uhm... you were saying?
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245. Right, right, ok. Here is the thing. I...
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246. Is that the mp3 hookup?
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247. This baby is fully loaded.
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248. Oh men. You are not making this easier.
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249. Speaking of making things easier, ba-bam, your very own gas card.
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250. Huh.
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251. And, so you don't get lost. Ba-bam, your very own GPS.
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252. Now what was that you wanted to tell me?
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253. Mom, I want to tell you that I'm in love...
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254. with Ed.
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255. Alright, this is from Gabe.
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256. A 10-dollar gift card for frozen yogurt.
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257. Probably about 6 dollars left on it.
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258. I was feeling snacky!
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259. Ok, here is mine.
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260. It's a journal for your trip to Mexico.
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261. Everyday you can write what you did,
what you saw, how you felt about it.
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262. - Aw, I love it.
- Yeah.
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263. You didn't happen to get a *** for this, did you?
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264. No.
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265. Okay. Here is a little something from mom and dad.
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266. Oh, wow, guys. This is so generous.
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267. Just a little spending money for Mexico.
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268. Enjoy your dinaro.
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269. Oh, do I have to spend it on dinaro.
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270. Can I use it for breakfast-o or lunch-o?
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271. Sweetie, when you're down there, stay close to the teacher.
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272. There is one more thing we got you.
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273. Went down to the court house this morning.
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274. Finally got your birth certificate fixed.
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275. You are now officially P.J. Duncan.
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276. Dad, did you double check this.
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277. No! Why, how can anybody possibly mess up P.J..
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278. Don't ask me. According to this my name is PP Duncan.
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279. Turn out, it's not looking so bad now, is it?
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280. Well, looks like that's all the presents. PP, happy birthday!
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281. Oh wait, wait. There's one left. It says it's from Charlie.
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282. Charlie! You don't have to give me anything.
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283. What? A new guitar!
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284. This is just what I wanted. How do you guys know?
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285. Did you do that?
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286. Awww. It's so cool.
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287. Hey Gabe.
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288. How are you liking that new ZCube?
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289. Oh, I decided not to get it, the ZCube 7's coming out soon.
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290. You used that money to buy that new guitar for your bro.
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291. I don't know what you're talking about.
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292. Oh come on Gabe.
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293. If you tell anybody about this I will never forgive you.
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294. Why would you want to keep that a secret?
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295. Because...
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296. I can't let people think that I've
gone soft or that I love my brother.
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297. Alright alright. Your secret is safe with me.
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298. I'm proud of you. You're a good kid.
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299. See! That's the exact kind of talk I was afraid of.
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300. Hey guys.
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301. - Hey.
- Hi honey.
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302. There are the keys dad. I'm giving 'em back.
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303. What? Why?
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304. Oh because you're gonna taking him back anyway.
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305. Why would we do that?
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306. There is a secret that I've been keeping from you guys.
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307. Come on in.
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308. Hi Mr. and Mrs. Duncan.
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309. Spencer and I are dating again.
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310. Ok, at first I didn't want to tell you guys because
I was afraid that you would take away the car.
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311. I figured that I had a choice to make either Ed
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312. or Spencer so after thinking about it for a long time.
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313. A really long time.
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314. I chose Spencer.
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315. I decided to give him another chance.
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316. So, we're back together now and I'm very happy.
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317. Well. I'm just glad that you could be honest with us.
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318. And. If you're happy I guess that's all that really matter.
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319. Thanks.
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320. You're letting me keep the car.
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321. We're letting you pay for the car.
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322. With the job that you're going to keep.
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323. Fair enough.
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324. Welcome back to the family Spencer.
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325. And if you ever...
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326. Hurt my little girl again...
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327. Ba-Bam.
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328. Hey Charlie, so, big news.
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329. This week I got a new old boyfriend named Spencer
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330. and an old new car named Ed.
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331. And someday if I take good care if him, you could have him.
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332. Oh Ed, not Spencer. That would be just weird.
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333. Excuse me!
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334. Who are you?
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335. I'm Eliot.
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336. I paid Gabe for another play date for playing hide and seek.
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337. But I've been hiding for almost 5 hours.
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338. He went to baseball practice.
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339. Oh, I'll wait.
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340. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to say.
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341. Oh hey, you are here why don't you say it?
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342. Good luck Charlie.
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343. Teddy!
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344. Who said that?
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345. It's me, your car.
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346. Ed, you can talk?
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347. I prefer Edward.
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348. And yes.
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349. Huh, so I have a talking car?
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350. Oh does that mean we're going on an
adventure and solve crimes and stuff.
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351. Well, that sounds kind of dangerous
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352. I've thought we'd just drive carefully
and stay within speed limit and stuff.
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353. Oh man. So I have a talking car who's boring.
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354. Oh uh, one other thing I have to tell you. I don't feel so good.
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355. Edward, Edward talk to me.
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356. Gotcha.
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357. Not so boring now, am I?
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