1. Hey, you know what I
was thinking, honey?
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2. We should have a little romantic
getaway this weekend, just you and me.
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3. Guys, please, we're
trying to eat here.
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4. I think that sounds fun.
Where should we go?
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5. Casper, Wyoming...
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6. the most romantic city...
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7. in Wyoming.
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8. Is the bug convention
in Casper this year?
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9. The bug convention?
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10. Well, I'll just check
the old calendar.
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11. Ha! Now that is a coincidence.
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12. Hey, Mom, I think you should go.
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13. Why? You planning to throw
a party while we're gone?
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14. Now that is a coincidence.
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15. Oh.
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16. Well, party's
off. I'm not going.
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17. Why not, Mom?
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18. Bug convention
sounds like a lot of...
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19. I can't even get through it.
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20. What do you even do
at a bug convention?
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21. Nothing. It's just a
bunch of exterminators
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22. in a cramped conference
room talking about deadly gas.
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23. And then it gets boring.
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24. First of all, honey,
we are not a bunch.
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25. We are a swarm.
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26. Huh?
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27. We got a lot of fun
bug-related lingo like that,
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28. like, uh, uh... we don't
get rooms, we nest.
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29. We don't dine, we feed.
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30. I can't believe I'm saying this, but
can someone drive me to school?
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31. All right, guys, you know what?
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32. Pest control is
what I do for a living.
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33. Now I know it just may be rats
and roaches and maggots to you,
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34. but it's my bread and butter.
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35. And I'm done with
my bread and butter.
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36. - Hey, Mom.
- Hey, honey.
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37. Remember when I went
off to college to KCU?
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38. - Kwikki Chikki University.
- Yeah.
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39. The weekend training seminar.
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40. I remember it well.
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41. Uh, well, back in those
crazy college days...
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42. Those two crazy college days.
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43. I met this guy named Gravy and
I told him if he was ever in town,
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44. he could stay with us.
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45. And I just found out
he's moving to Denver,
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46. and he's gonna be
working at Kwikki Chikki.
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47. Okay, I think I see where this is
going. When is this happening?
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48. Party!
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49. Right about now.
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50. PJ, I can't believe you're springing a
houseguest on me at a time like this.
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51. - Gravy!
- PJ!
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52. That was the Kwikki
Chikki handshake.
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53. I was hoping.
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54. Dude, you didn't tell me
your sister was so hot.
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55. Gravy, stay as long as you like.
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56. Oh! Sweet crib!
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57. Yeah, dude. Oh!
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58. I'm so psyched
you're here, dude.
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59. - This is gonna be a blast.
- Oh, epic!
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60. Just think of all those
wild times at college.
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61. Yeah.
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62. Dude, remember the time
the girls from hamburger tech
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63. - came and partied with us?
- Yeah, yeah!
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64. Oh! Or what about the time...
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65. I think that's the
only story we have.
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66. Hey, Mom, listen to this.
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67. It's from that advice
column "Dear Tammy."
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68. It says, uh, "Dear Tammy,
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69. recently, a car I owned for
20 minutes was sadly wrecked.
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70. How do I ask my
parents for another one?"
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71. Wow. That's almost exactly
what happened to you.
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72. I know.
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73. So, so then "Dear
Tammy" replied,
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74. "If your parents love you,
they will buy you a new car
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75. and be glad they did."
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76. - That is so strange.
- Yeah.
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77. Because "Dear Tammy"
passed away three years ago.
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78. Well, that's a pretty good
answer for a dead lady, right?
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79. Hmm.
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80. Mom, please, owning that car
was the best 20 minutes of my life.
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81. Honey.
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82. If it were up to me,
I'd buy you a new car.
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83. The problem is your father.
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84. He's been on a tear
lately about saving money.
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85. What is wrong with him?
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86. He's always saving and
planning for the future.
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87. What did grandma
and grandpa do to him?
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88. How badly do you want this car?
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89. Really badly.
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90. Sit down.
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91. Teddy...
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92. your father is a simple man.
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93. - Yes, yes, I'm with you so far.
- Okay.
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94. If you want something from him,
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95. then you need to do
something he wants to do.
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96. Then when he's in his happy
place, just strike like a cobra.
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97. Okay, what are
you talking about?
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98. The bug convention, Teddy.
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99. The bug convention.
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100. You go there with your father
and he will be so happy...
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101. He will buy you a car.
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102. Perfect. I'll go to the bug
convention. How bad could it be?
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103. You have no idea.
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104. I went to one convention.
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105. I still have the dreams.
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106. Hey, Gabe, guess what I got.
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107. Last time we played
this game, it was lice.
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108. My mom gave me this cool new video camera
for getting cut from the baseball team.
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109. How does getting cut from
the team get you a camera?
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110. She felt bad for me,
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111. and my dad gave me a
skateboard for trying out.
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112. I love sports.
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113. This is pretty cool.
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114. - We should make a movie.
- Yeah.
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115. Ew!
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116. The camera does not love you.
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117. But it does love me.
So I should be the star.
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118. Dude, you're getting more
like your mom every day.
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119. So, uh, what kind of
movie should we make?
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120. How about a romantic comedy?
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121. Everyone loves a good rom-com.
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122. Hey, I thought of something
while you were talking.
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123. Let's make a monster movie.
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124. Cool, but where are we
gonna find a scary monster?
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125. Boo!
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126. I think we found our monster.
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127. Done.
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128. Done.
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129. And...
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130. not done.
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131. How are you doing, A. Dunc?
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132. A. Dunc?
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133. Oh, yeah. That's my
new name for you.
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134. Amy just wasn't kind
of working for me.
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135. Aren't you loving him?
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136. Loving? No, no.
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137. Liking? No.
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138. Getting on my very last nerve?
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139. Ding, ding, ding!
We have a winner.
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140. Gravy honey, did you forget
something in the kitchen?
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141. No, I'm good.
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142. I meant your pants.
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143. Oh, yeah, I know. I just like to
take those off when I get home.
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144. It's kind of how I unwind.
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145. Okay, look, I get it that
you're trying to be comfortable.
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146. That is not how we roll
in the Duncan house.
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147. Dude, you're right. This is
so much more comfortable.
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148. Honey, you're not
gonna believe this.
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149. Teddy wants to go to the
bug convention with me.
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150. Are we going pantsless now?
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151. This is the best day ever!
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152. "Attack of the 50-foot Baby,"
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153. scene 1, take 1.
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154. Okay, you're a mad
scientist. On action!
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155. Now that I've finished
my super growth formula,
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156. it's time to test it out
on an ordinary grape.
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157. Cut.
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158. Action.
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159. It works on fruit,
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160. but what about on human beings?
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161. I'll test it out myself.
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162. But first, let me
check on my baby.
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163. Baby. Oh, baby!
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164. Charlie, come here. Come here.
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165. - Can you go drink the stuff now?
- No.
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166. It's just juice.
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167. And cut.
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168. Dude, what's your
sister's problem?
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169. She's gotta drink the stuff.
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170. She's two.
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171. When I was two,
I drank everything.
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172. Just let me talk to her.
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173. Charlie, sweetheart.
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174. You're doing great.
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175. The picture's
gonna look terrific.
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176. Here's the thing.
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177. When we say drink the stuff,
you gotta drink the stuff, okay?
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178. Okay, great. Here we go.
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179. Are you ready to...
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180. Jake, what are you doing?
We need that for the movie.
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181. I'm doing an experiment.
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182. I wanna see if it
turns my pee blue.
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183. PJ!
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184. Hey, Mom, what's up?
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185. What's up?
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186. Look at what Gravy
has done to this place.
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187. Hey, he tidied up.
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188. I've had it.
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189. He's disgusting. He's a slob.
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190. I can't take it anymore.
I want him out.
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191. Is this about the
onion ring in the toilet?
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192. 'Cause he needs a target.
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193. Either you tell him by the
end of the day tomorrow,
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194. or I do it.
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195. Oh, but he's my best
friend from college.
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196. Chicken college, a
two-day chicken college!
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197. All right, okay.
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198. But this has to be done the right way
'cause Gravy's actually really sensitive.
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199. All right, bad news, guys.
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200. I just drank, like, a gallon of
water and we are out of onion rings.
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201. Casper, Wyoming,
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202. bug convention,
guys in overalls.
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203. Eh...
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204. You talk now.
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205. Oh, hey, hors d'oeuvres.
Help yourself, honey.
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206. Okay.
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207. Mmm.
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208. Mmm.
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209. This is good. It's crunchy.
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210. Freeze-dried ants.
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211. All the food here is
insect-based. Isn't that fun?
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212. - Bob.
- Murray.
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213. Hey, I would like to introduce
you to my daughter Teddy.
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214. Um, hi.
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215. Hey, Dad, do I have
any legs in my teeth?
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216. She's a charmer.
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217. So, Bob, you gonna
pop by my speech?
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218. Keynote address, whatever.
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219. Yeah, I got a new
way to kill termites...
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220. the Murray method.
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221. Well, actually, Murray,
I'm going on right after you.
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222. Yeah, I got my own new
method of killing termites...
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223. the Slam Dunc.
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224. I don't get it.
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225. Bob Duncan.
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226. Dunc. Slam Dunc.
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227. - Ooh, I see because... no.
- Ah.
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228. Well, I'm sure it will be very
clear after the presentation.
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229. I've seen your
presentations, Duncan.
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230. They lack pizzazz. No visual
aids. That's your problem.
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231. Pass.
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232. Man, I hate that Murray.
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233. But do you know what?
Here's what he doesn't know.
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234. This year, I have a visual aid
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235. that is going to blow
the roof off this place,
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236. thanks to you, honey.
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237. Or, uh, should I say
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238. termite queen?
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239. - What?
- Yeah!
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240. You're gonna be
onstage with me this year
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241. playing the disgustingly huge
supreme monarch of the termite colony.
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242. But... but... uh...
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243. Okay.
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244. Hey, Gravy. Uh...
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245. Can I talk to you for a
sec? It's kind of important.
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246. Of course. You
can tell me anything.
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247. I mean, you were my
best buddy at Kwikki Chikki.
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248. I would do anything for you.
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249. I would even eat
our chicken for you.
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250. I would never
ask you to do that.
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251. Yeah. Um...
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252. But the thing is, uh... it's been
super great having you here.
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253. Yeah. Yeah.
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254. Uh, but... Yeah.
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255. Wow, this is hard.
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256. Uh, well...
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257. Actually, there was
something I wanted to tell you.
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258. Um, A. Dunc keeps
rearranging my room.
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259. Not cool, all right?
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260. Talk to her for me?
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261. Dude, I've been
home for like an hour.
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262. What am I still doing
with my pants on?
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263. The Murray method,
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264. a safe non-toxic elixir
for killing termites,
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265. derived from the common orange.
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266. Try the Murray
method and you'll say,
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267. "Orange you glad
you're not a termite?"
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268. Try and top that, Duncan.
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269. Oh, go squeeze yourself.
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270. Hey, everybody,
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271. I am Bob Duncan of
Bob's Bugs Be Gone.
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272. Now sure, yes.
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273. You can pay Murray to go and spray
orange juice all over your house or...
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274. you can attack the
problem at its source.
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275. And what is that source?
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276. Ladies and gentlemen,
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277. I give you
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278. the termite queen!
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279. Oh, gonna get a
car. Gonna get a car.
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280. The termite queen,
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281. the grand royal
mama of the colony.
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282. Her only job,
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283. pumping out termite
eggs around the clock.
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284. Behold!
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285. Termite eggs,
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286. 30,000 every single day.
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287. Go, my babies, go.
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288. Eat wood and destroy siding.
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289. Relax, everybody,
relax. Keep your seats.
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290. There is a solution.
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291. Here, your majesty,
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292. try the Slam Dunc.
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293. Ha!
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294. Oh! Curse you, Slam Dunc method.
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295. I'm rendered useless.
Do you hear me? Useless.
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296. Oh! Oh, what a world.
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297. What a world.
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298. Car.
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299. Okay, you're a 50-foot baby
about to destroy the entire city.
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300. On action.
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301. Cut!
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302. What do you want me to do?
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303. Dude, we're never gonna finish
this movie if she keeps running off.
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304. How do we solve that?
Glue her shoes to the floor?
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305. Okay, these puppies
aren't going anywhere.
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306. Charlie.
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307. Dude, your mom.
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308. There you are.
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309. What are you boys doing?
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310. Not gluing shoes to
the floor. That's for sure.
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311. Gabriel Duncan!
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312. She... she wouldn't
do what we wanted.
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313. Oh, I should have known.
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314. Every time you ask
to watch Charlie,
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315. it's because you wanna
glue her to something.
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316. Mom.
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317. Sorry, boys, the
kid's out of the picture.
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318. Mom, we're not done yet.
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319. Now, what are we gonna do?
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320. We got a monster
movie with no monster.
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321. Unless...
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322. Now rain down some terror.
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323. Welcome to Kwikki Chikki.
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324. Would you like to try
our new batter balls?
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325. - No.
- Good call.
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326. I will have the Kwikki
combo number three
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327. with coleslaw, curly fries,
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328. and you have to
move out by tomorrow.
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329. PJ, is that you?
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330. Yeah, it's me.
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331. I couldn't do this face to face,
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332. so I thought I'd
do it face to...
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333. beak.
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334. Look, Gravy, I love
you like a brother,
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335. but you're kinda messy and
you're driving my mom nuts,
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336. and you gotta go.
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337. Oh, and I'll have a
chocolate milkshake.
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338. Talk to me, man,
come on. You there?
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339. Oh, hey, do you mind?
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340. I'm having a moment here.
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341. Gravy, come on.
Dude, talk to me.
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342. PJ, I'll find another
place to stay.
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343. It's no biggie.
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344. Oh, and that'll be $4.95
at the second window.
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345. I'm sorry, man.
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346. Ah! Don't worry about it.
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347. I mean, you're my buddy.
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348. The fact that it was so hard
for you to say this to me,
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349. I mean, it means a lot.
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350. So we good?
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351. You wanna flap it out?
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352. Yeah.
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353. Oh, uh, Dad, before we go in,
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354. there's something I
wanted to talk to you about.
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355. - What's that, honey?
- First, are you happy?
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356. Are you kidding me?
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357. I'm over the moon.
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358. That was the best
bug convention ever.
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359. Oh! Great, great.
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360. 'Cause there's something
that I wanted to ask you.
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361. Actually, you know what?
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362. Before you do, there's
something I wanna say.
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363. You know, sometimes I just feel
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364. like you kids are
growing up so fast that...
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365. oh, that you just don't
have time for your old man.
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366. You know?
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367. So when you asked to
come with me this weekend,
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368. honey,
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369. you made me feel so great.
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370. Thank you.
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371. And I love you very, very much.
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372. I'm sorry. What did
you wanna ask me?
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373. Oh, uh, I just wanted to say...
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374. I... I love you too, Dad.
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375. Love you too.
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376. - Hey.
- Hey, there's my little bugaboos.
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377. - How was the convention?
- The best ever.
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378. Well...
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379. Hey, Teddy, tell
her all about it.
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380. Okeydokey.
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381. He looks pretty happy.
What kind of car you getting?
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382. Oh, I couldn't do it.
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383. What?
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384. You got him all
happied up for nothing?
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385. Looks like mama's
getting a new pair of shoes.
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386. Oh, Bob honey.
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387. Hey, Charlie.
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388. Well, I did the right thing, went
with Dad to the bug convention,
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389. made him real happy.
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390. Unfortunately, so happy
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391. he invited me to
go again next year.
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392. I'm gonna be a mosquito.
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393. - What are you doing?
- Just measuring your wingspan.
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394. Oh.
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395. We're gonna be selling
the Duncan zapper.
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396. Oh, zapper!
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397. Sounds painful.
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398. Now someday you're gonna be
going to these bug conventions.
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399. Yeah. Good luck, Charlie.
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400. Okay.
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401. "Attack of the 50-foot
Baby," scene 1, take 1.
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402. "Attack of the 50-foot
Baby," scene 1, take 1.
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403. Okay, you're a mad
scientist. On action.
Copy !req
404. Now that I've finished
my super growth formula,
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405. it's time to test it out
on an ordinary grape.
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406. It works!
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407. No, it doesn't. It's
a rubber ducky.
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408. Well, if somebody hadn't
eaten the watermelon,
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409. I wouldn't have to improvise.
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