1. Okay, dad, so you know how I always
want to go to super adventure land.
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2. But you tell me it's too expensive,
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3. Even though it's totally worth it
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4. 'cause it's the funnest place on earth?
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5. Yes.
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6. Well, problem solved.
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7. "this coupon, good for
$5 off admission price."
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8. To super adventure land.
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9. Upon $100 purchase at Jensen's groceries,
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10. Not valid Tuesday through Sunday,
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11. "Closed Monday."
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12. Nice try.
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13. But, dad,
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14. They have this new ride
called the storm twizzler.
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15. Nine out of 10 people barf on it.
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16. They even take your photo.
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17. Gabe, I'll take you to super adventure land.
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18. Just as soon as I win the lottery.
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19. Oh, hey, speaking of which,
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20. Maybe today is your lucky day.
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21. Could be.
Let's take a look.
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22. Hey, there's a seven, right?
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23. - Yeah.
- That's pretty good.
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24. Hey, look at this.
We got another seven.
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25. That's not too bad.
One more seven... we got...
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26. Oh, look at...
oh, look at... oh!
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27. You're not going.
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28. d today's all burnt toast d
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29. d running late
and dad jokes d
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30. d "has anybody
seen my left shoe?" d
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31. d I close my eyes,
take a bite d
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32. d grab a ride,
laugh out loud d
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33. d there it is
up on the roof d
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34. d I've been there,
I survived d
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35. d so just take my advice d
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36. d hang in there, baby d
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37. d things are crazy d
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38. d but I know
your future's bright d
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39. d hang in there, baby d
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40. d there's no maybe d
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41. d everything
turns out all right d
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42. d sure life is up and down d
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43. d but trust me,
it comes back around d
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44. d you're gonna love
who you turn out to be d
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45. d hang in there, baby. D
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46. Hey, mom.
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47. Hey, honey.
Come meet our new neighbor.
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48. This is my daughter Teddy.
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49. Debbie dooley.
How're you doing?
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50. I'm doing dandy, Debbie dooley.
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51. Debbie and her husband Doug
just moved here from Iowa.
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52. Doug's our new deputy police chief.
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53. And they have a daughter Charlie's age.
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54. - Deedee dooley.
- Oh.
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55. Debbie needed a babysitter for tomorrow.
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56. And I was just telling her
how terrific you are.
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57. Oh yeah. No, actually
my friend Ivy and I.
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58. Were gonna take Charlie
to make-a-monkey tomorrow.
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59. And we'd be happy to bring deedee along.
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60. What's make-a-monkey?
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61. Oh, it's kind of complicated.
It's this place where you...
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62. You make... A monkey.
I...
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63. I guess it's not that complicated.
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64. Oh, I meant to ask...
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65. Where is your dog?
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66. We don't have a dog.
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67. But that nice Mrs. Dabney
next door told me.
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68. To beware of Gabe.
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69. Gabe is my son.
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70. But she said he bit her...
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71. And went to the bathroom on her lawn.
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72. They have a very unique relationship.
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73. Welcome to the neighborhood.
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74. Oh, I think this one goes...
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75. No.
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76. Oh, doesn't this one go...?
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77. No.
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78. Eh, forget it.
Charlie can help us with it later.
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79. Oh, my dad's outside.
I gotta go.
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80. - He doesn't like to be kept waiting.
- All right.
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81. - See ya.
- See ya.
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82. No wonder we couldn't do it.
It's for ages one to three.
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83. You P.J.?
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84. Uh, y-yeah yeah.
That's me.
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85. So you start going out with a girl.
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86. And you don't think it's
important to meet the father?
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87. Oh, I'm sorry.
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88. Makes me wonder what's
going on inside your head.
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89. Trust me, sir,
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90. There's nothing going on in here at all.
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91. I'm gonna be watching you.
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92. To make sure you treat Skyler right,
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93. That you're worthy of her.
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94. One more thing:
I don't want her to know
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95. I've been checking up on you.
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96. Well, what does she think
you're doing right now?
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97. Using the bathroom.
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98. Is there anything else?
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99. Usually it takes me a while
to use the bathroom.
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100. - Hey, dad.
- Hey.
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101. Oh, dad, I think you dropped something.
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102. Oh, hey, one of my scratchers.
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103. Oh, hey, let's see.
Maybe we've won.
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104. Seven.
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105. Another seven.
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106. Been here before.
And the last number.
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107. What?
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108. Look, it's a seven.
It's a seven.
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109. - I won. I won.
- How much did you win?
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110. $1 million!
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111. Whoo-hoo!
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112. Whoo! Whoo!
I won, I won, I won!
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113. What is going on with dad?
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114. He thinks he won the lottery.
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115. - Thinks?
- Yeah, it's a prank.
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116. I bought one of those fake
scratchers from the joke store.
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117. He fell for that?
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118. Whoo-hoo!
I'm king of the world!
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119. He's gonna find out.
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120. Yeah, and I'll be grounded for two weeks.
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121. But, you know, I'll have been
to super adventure land.
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122. It's worth it.
I crunched the numbers.
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123. I'm so happy, I don't know
what to do with myself.
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124. Well, yesterday you said
if you ever win the lottery.
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125. You'd take me to super adventure land.
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126. All right, let's go.
Get in the car.
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127. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
We're millionaires.
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128. Forget the car.
We're renting a limo.
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129. Wait, dad.
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130. Okay.
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131. Oh, thank you,
Dr. Charlie.
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132. I'm all better now.
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133. Ow. Another shot.
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134. No, I've already had seven shots.
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135. There's no more owies.
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136. Ow. Another shot.
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137. Okay, I think I'm kind of over this.
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138. Ivy, are you ready to go?
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139. Check out what I found in the bathroom...
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140. Diamond earrings.
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141. Watch me work it.
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142. Ivy, hey, take those off.
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143. Don't you know that deedee's
daddy's deputy Doug dooley?
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144. Ivy wentz rocking earrings.
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145. From the dooley collection.
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146. Seriously, take those off.
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147. Yeah, they'll look better on you anyway.
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148. No, we're here to babysit, not try on...
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149. - Ooh.
- Yeah.
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150. Oh, these do look good.
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151. Yep, strut your stuff, girl.
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152. - It's fun.
Go ahead, do it. - Okay.
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153. Ooh ooh ooh ooh.
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154. Ow!
Hey, who did that?
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155. - Ooh. Uh-oh.
- What?
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156. One of the doctors spilled a juice box.
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157. At least I hope it's juice.
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158. All right, Ivy, why don't
you take them outside?
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159. I'm gonna clean this up.
And then we can go to make-a-monkey.
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160. Okay, come on.
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161. Come on, deedee.
Let's go bye-bye.
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162. Go with Ivy.
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163. - Let's go to make-a-monkey.
- Yay!
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164. Eww, and it's not juice.
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165. - Where are you going?
- Whoa!
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166. What are you doing here?
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167. I told you I was gonna be watching you.
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168. Did you think I was a liar?
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169. No, I just... I thought you'd be
watching me from a distance...
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170. You know, with, like, a telescope
or binoculars or something.
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171. I did that for a while.
I got bored.
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172. Now I asked you a question.
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173. Where are you going?
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174. Uh, I'm going to the
library to meet Skyler.
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175. Looking like that?
You couldn't even comb your hair?
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176. I spent 20 minutes to get it like this.
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177. What are you doing?
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178. Anytime you do something I do not like,
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179. I mark it down in the negative column.
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180. Is there a positive column too?
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181. Not yet.
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182. Okay.
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183. Well, if you'll excuse me,
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184. I'm gonna go back inside and comb my hair,
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185. But not because of anything you said...
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186. Because I want to.
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187. Stupid.
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188. "bad with doors."
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189. That was four hours of my
life I'll never get back.
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190. I still have that theme
song drilled into my head.
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191. d first you pick a color...
brown or green or red d
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192. d then you take some stuffing
and put it in its head d
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193. d then it goes on for 20 more
verses and you wish you were dead d
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194. d and that's how you make
a mo-oh-oh-oh-nkey. D
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195. - Oh no.
- What?
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196. The earrings...
you're still wearing them.
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197. - What?
- Yes.
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198. Oh! Ivy, Ivy, I just
have one earring on.
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199. - The other one must
have fallen off. - No.
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200. Yes yes, I lost her diamond earring.
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201. What? Why did you
even try them on?
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202. - What? That was your idea!
- You know better than to listen to me.
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203. Okay okay okay okay.
All right, let's not panic.
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204. I'll just... okay,
I'll check the car.
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205. You... you call make-a-monkey
and see if they found it.
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206. The important thing here is...
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207. Is not to panic.
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208. - Not in the car.
- Not at the place.
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209. Okay, time to panic.
Oh!
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210. Calm down.
Ivy's got a plan.
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211. Oh, Ivy's got a plan.
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212. - Look, I think I know where
the earring is. - Where?
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213. Check it out.
I took some pictures at make-a-monkey.
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214. Here you are at the stuffing
machine... two earrings.
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215. Oh oh, here I am after the
stuffing machine... one earring.
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216. Yes, so the missing earring is...
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217. Inside a monkey.
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218. Hi, Charlie.
What you got there?
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219. Monkey.
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220. Can I see it?
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221. - Get that monkey.
- Mm-hmm.
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222. Man, that sister of yours.
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223. Can put up quite a fight.
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224. I know.
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225. We'd be better off
if we fought an actual monkey.
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226. She sure does love that thing.
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227. Yeah.
Yeah, she sure does.
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228. Now let's rip it apart.
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229. It's not in here.
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230. Oh, this is bad.
This is really bad.
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231. T, calm down.
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232. If the earring isn't in this monkey,
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233. It has to be in the other monkey.
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234. Right right right right, deedee's monkey...
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235. That's in the police chief's house.
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236. Is that calm enough for you?
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237. Man, super adventure land was amazing.
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238. It sure is. Hey hey, give me the
picture of the log ride again.
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239. - Ah, look at your face.
- Look at your face.
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240. Look at the limo driver's face.
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241. Okay, dad, now that we've had our fun,
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242. There's something I gotta tell you.
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243. And maybe you should sit down.
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244. Hey, kids, how do you like mama's new ride?
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245. Hey, look at you.
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246. Where did you get that?
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247. At the mall.
Yeah, I did a little shopping.
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248. After your dad told me we won the lottery.
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249. You can return that, right?
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250. Nope, forever rich
has a no-return policy.
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251. But who cares?
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252. Not me. Nothing bothers
a millionaire.
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253. Nothing bothers a millionaire.
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254. - Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
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255. You guys didn't really win the lottery.
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256. It was just a prank so I could
go to super adventure land.
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257. That's really funny.
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258. So why aren't you laughing?
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259. I'm really sorry.
I never meant for it to go this far.
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260. Now I know you're probably gonna
ground me for, like, two weeks,
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261. But under the circumstances,
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262. I'm fine with three.
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263. I quit my job today.
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264. What?
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265. You can get it back, right?
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266. Uh...
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267. What? What? We won?
I can't believe it.
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268. I'll tell you what I can't
believe, Duncan...
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269. It's that you're taking
another personal call.
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270. Now I asked you to do something.
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271. With these bags of saline
a half an hour ago.
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272. Uh, gotta go.
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273. You know what, Karen?
You're absolutely right.
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274. I should have done something
with these saline bags.
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275. A long time ago.
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276. I mean, this is really overdue.
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277. - Oh! Oh!
- Yeah yeah.
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278. Yeah yeah.
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279. Hi.
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280. Take me to easy street.
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281. So long, suckers.
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282. How could you do that?
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283. Because I was a millionaire.
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284. Rich people play by different rules.
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285. I'm so sorry.
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286. Dad, are you okay?
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287. He's hugging the kettle corn.
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288. This is all I have left.
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289. Oh, the old orange peel
smile always cracks me up.
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290. I tried it once with a
pineapple... not as fun.
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291. I gotta go rinse.
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292. I can't stand the feel of pulp on my teeth.
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293. I love learning new things about you.
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294. - Is everything okay?
- Everything's great.
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295. - Really?
- Really, yeah.
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296. Everything...
couldn't be better.
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297. You're acting kind of weird.
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298. I'm not acting weird, no.
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299. If anything, I'm acting not weird.
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300. - Why does this always happen?
- What?
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301. I date a guy for a while.
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302. And then all of a sudden he
starts acting all strange.
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303. Then what happens?
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304. Then he just kind of disappears.
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305. Hey, mom, what are you doing?
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306. Hey. A couple things.
Trying to find a new job.
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307. And researching military schools for Gabe.
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308. Wow, that sounds stressful.
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309. Hey, you know, you should go to the gym,
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310. Maybe... maybe with
a workout buddy,
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311. Somebody like Debbie dooley.
She's fun.
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312. Teddy, I know what you're trying to do.
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313. Mm-hmm, you want back
into Debbie dooley's house,
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314. And I know why.
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315. - You do?
- Yep.
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316. You want another babysitting gig.
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317. Am I that transparent?
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318. Charlie, what happened to your monkey?
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319. I don't know.
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320. $62 for this?
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321. The head's not even facing the right way.
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322. That's the way she wanted it.
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323. Excuse me, are you Karen?
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324. Yeah. Why?
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325. I'm Gabe, Amy Duncan's son.
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326. Look, the reason my mom quit
was all my fault.
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327. I played a really mean prank on my parents.
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328. And it got way out of hand.
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329. Now that you know the truth, can
you please give her her job back?
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330. Oh, well,
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331. If it means that much to you,
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332. No!
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333. Ha! I gotcha!
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334. Oh, you should see your face.
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335. I really had you going there, didn't I?
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336. Oh good.
Good for you, Karen.
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337. Okay.
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338. Excuse me,
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339. Do you know whose lottery ticket this is?
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340. Yes. It's mine.
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341. I won! I won!
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342. I won, I won, I won, I won!
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343. Hey hey hey!
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344. I've always loved you.
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345. Hi. May I...?
Oh.
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346. How much longer are you
gonna follow me around?
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347. Till I find out the kind of guy you are.
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348. Now I'm a guy who's about
to restock the cups.
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349. "bad with cups."
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350. Look, I only messed up
'cause you made me nervous.
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351. Thanks.
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352. - Got all I need.
- For what?
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353. To tell Skyler you're not the guy.
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354. See ya.
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355. No no.
Stop.
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356. I am the guy.
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357. Skyler is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
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358. And I'm not going away, no matter what.
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359. So put that in your little notebook.
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360. Oh, and number 12, your order's ready.
Number 12.
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361. Uh-oh. Is this the part
where you make me disappear?
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362. Relax, kid.
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363. You stuck up for yourself.
That's what I wanted to hear.
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364. So it's okay if I date your daughter?
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365. Oh, she's not my daughter.
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366. She's his daughter.
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367. He always hires me
to check out the boyfriends.
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368. With that elfin smile, people
don't take him too seriously.
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369. Deedee was so excited that Teddy was back.
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370. That daughter of yours is quite something.
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371. Yeah, I make some good daughters.
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372. Bob makes the boys.
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373. Yesterday it was just so good.
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374. To watch deedee have fun with Teddy.
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375. - What do you mean, watch?
- Oh, well,
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376. My husband insisted
we put in a nanny-cam.
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377. Oh, a nanny-cam?
I've never seen one of those.
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378. If you have a laptop,
I'll show you right now.
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379. I do, right behind you.
Let's look.
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380. Oh good.
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381. Oh, there they are.
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382. Your daughter has a real gift.
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383. It takes me forever to put deedee down.
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384. Well, that's a little peculiar.
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385. This doesn't seem right.
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386. Oh my goodness, she's murdering the monkey.
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387. - Oh.
- Oh.
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388. Really?
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389. One neighbor... I just want to
be friends with one neighbor.
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390. Hey, Charlie.
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391. So I learned a very important
life lesson today,
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392. And that is never wear.
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393. A pair of accidentally
make-a-monkey, s to.
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394. Because if you do,
something like... Ht say
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395. "oh my goodness,
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396. That girl's just not
right in the head."
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397. Hi, Charlie.
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398. Oh, and mom's back at work.
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399. Actually her boss quit
for some unknown reason,
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400. And so she got a promotion.
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401. Which is why daddy gets one of these too.
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402. You're going! Ere
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403. Ahh!
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404. Oh.
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405. Yeah, in a couple of years,
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406. When all of us kids have left the house,
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407. They'll be all yours.
Good luck, Charlie.
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408. Hey, what happened to you?
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409. Isn't it obvious?
My head's on backwards.
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410. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.
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411. Doctor, the patients are prepped
and ready for surgery.
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412. She look a little young to you?
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413. I'm sure she's highly trained.
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414. You can go first.
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