1. - Breakfast!
- Hi, I'm Teddy Duncan,
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2. Reporting live from the
kitchen where, once again,
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3. Mom has taken an innocent
pancake and destroyed it.
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4. Your thoughts?
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5. Why are you insulting me into a fork?
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6. I'm joining the South high
action news team.
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7. - Today's the first meeting.
- Oh, that is so exciting!
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8. You know, Teddy, when I
was reporting for the...
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9. Southwest Denver community college tv news.
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10. Oh, how funny.
Heh heh.
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11. - Guess I must have...
- Mentioned that before.
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12. Anyway, when I was reporting,
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13. I had this really cute catchphrase.
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14. It went a little something like this:
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15. I'm Amy blankenhooper,
gettin' all up in your news.
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16. Morning.
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17. Ooh, pancakes.
Yay.
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18. Uh, maybe I'll pick up
something on the way to work.
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19. When he won't eat it, that's a bad pancake.
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20. Has anyone seen my boots?
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21. Looks like Charlie has.
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22. That's adorable!
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23. Miss Duncan, are you aware
that dad sometimes.
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24. Has to pour sweat out of those boots?
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25. Ew.
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26. Out of the mouths of babes.
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27. - This is Teddy Duncan...
- And Amy Duncan...
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28. - Mom, it's a fork. - ...
Gettin' all up in your news.
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29. Oh, hey, sis.
You want to sit together?
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30. Yeah sure, I'd love to.
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31. - Oh, it never gets old.
- Yeah.
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32. Oh, wait.
Is that dustin Reese?
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33. Who's dustin Reese?
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34. We went to kindergarten together.
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35. Back then he had a ponytail until...
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36. Why'd you cut off his ponytail?
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37. It was my first day with scissors.
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38. I had eaten a doughnut.
I was out of my mind.
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39. - So do you think he remembers you?
- I hope not.
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40. Well, here he comes.
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41. What... you could have
just turned around.
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42. Eh.
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43. Okay, everyone, welcome to the South high.
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44. Action news team, or shant.
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45. Anyway, I wanted to apologize
for postponing the meeting.
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46. As you know, I fell
off my bike... Again.
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47. Who laughed?
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48. Me. I was thinking
about something else.
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49. - And what was that?
- The first time you fell off your bike.
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50. Moving on.
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51. All right, one of you.
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52. Is going to have a big opportunity.
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53. The channel 8 news
is looking for a teen reporter.
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54. For an internship which includes
a chance to appear on tv.
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55. If you're interested, have a two-minute
piece on my desk by Friday...
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56. Something juicy, explosive,
hard-hitting... ow.
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57. I'll pick the best one
and submit it to channel 8.
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58. Now get to work.
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59. - Oh, and Teddy, was it?
- Yeah.
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60. You're new around here.
A piece of advice...
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61. Don't fall in love with me.
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62. I shan't.
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63. Bob, Bob, big news.
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64. Walt mcguire called and invited us.
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65. - Out to dinner at his country club.
- Who is Walt mcguire?
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66. Honey, he's the hospital administrator.
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67. I talk about him all the time.
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68. And I listen about him all the time.
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69. Ooh ooh ooh.
You know what?
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70. I'm going to wear that dress that makes
people ask if I'm Teddy's sister.
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71. Come on, honey, has anybody ever...
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72. I love that dress.
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73. You know what?
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74. I think I'm going to buy
a new pair of shoes too.
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75. And you might want to try on your suit.
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76. Why would I want to do that?
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77. You might have put on a little weight.
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78. Since our homecoming dance.
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79. - Thank you for saying "might have.
" - Aw.
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80. - P.J.!
- Dustin.
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81. What are you doing here?
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82. Do you remember me from kindergarten?
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83. I... I don't know.
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84. It was... it was
a long time ago.
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85. And which year of kindergarten?
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86. I want to show you something.
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87. Come on out.
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88. - What's all this?
- I came to give you a haircut.
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89. Oh. Oh well,
that's very nice of you,
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90. But I always go to Rachel at crazy cuts.
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91. - Not anymore.
- What do you mean?
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92. Ahh!
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93. No!
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94. Oh.
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95. Why do I always have nightmares
when I nap on this couch?
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96. Eh, five more minutes.
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97. - Why are you sitting with me?
- Because I didn't realize it was you.
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98. Why are you dressed like that?
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99. - I don't want dustin to recognize me.
- Oh, the ponytail kid?
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100. You're worried he's going
to get back at you?
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101. He has gotten into my
dreams, my nap dreams.
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102. That is a place filled
with gumdrops and lollipops.
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103. - He does not belong there!
- Okay.
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104. Well, I'm sorry you had a bad nap,
but I've got a real problem.
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105. I have to come up with a
good news story by Friday.
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106. This could be my chance to be on local tv.
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107. Ugh!
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108. You want a good story,
you should do a report.
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109. On whatever this mystery meat is.
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110. Wait a minute.
That's not bad.
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111. I'll solve the mystery meat mystery.
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112. This disgusting slop could be
my ticket to the big time.
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113. - How's lunch today?
- Oh, really good, thanks.
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114. Hey, honey.
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115. - You get some shoes? - Did I get some shoes?
Did I get some shoes?
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116. I don't know.
You tell me. Ba-bam.
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117. Wow! Nice!
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118. - Yeah, and only $400.
- What?
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119. Relax, I'm going to return
them the day after the dinner.
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120. I'm just borrowing them.
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121. They're like a library book
that makes my calves look hot.
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122. Honey, no store is going to take
back shoes once you've worn them.
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123. They're not going to know
that I've worn them.
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124. I'm putting tape on the soles
so they don't scuff.
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125. Where did you learn this stuff?
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126. It's an old trick
from my starving student days.
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127. I thought I'd outgrow it
when I was married,
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128. But four kids later
and here we are... ba-bam!
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129. I don't know.
Sounds wrong to me.
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130. - Or we can just pay the $400.
- I'll get the tape.
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131. So you cut a kid's hair in kindergarten.
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132. And now you're all freaked out?
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133. It was the worst thing I ever did.
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134. I don't know, maybe I
should just apologize.
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135. Apologize? I'd cut his hair
again, show him who's boss.
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136. Okay, guys, what do we think, huh?
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137. Huh? Ready for
the country club?
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138. I don't know, dad.
Button the jacket.
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139. That's not going to happen.
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140. So I'm guessing the top
button of your pants.
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141. Is out of the question too?
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142. Yes, sir, it is.
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143. Bob, a little help,
please?
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144. - Need a little help, please?
- What? Whoa, what's wrong?
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145. Turns out that putting tape
on your shoes makes them.
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146. Just a little bit slippery.
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147. Well, why don't you change shoes?
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148. What, and kill the glamour?
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149. How'd you like to pay all that money.
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150. To join the country club
and see that coming in?
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151. What is the meat in mystery meat?
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152. To find out, I decided to sit
down with Lydia the lunch lady.
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153. And ask her some tough questions.
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154. - Pretty good so far, huh?
- Shh! Ow.
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155. So, Lydia,
let's get right to it.
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156. Tell me about the meat.
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157. Does that camera have to be so close?
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158. Why are you sweating?
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159. Because you're shining a very
bright light in my face!
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160. Or is it because you're lying?
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161. What is it, Lydia?
What is the meat?
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162. - Ground beef.
- Is it?
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163. Or is it something else?
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164. Mystery meat...
is it really such a mystery?
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165. This is Teddy Duncan and I'm on your side.
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166. - So, what do you think?
- I can't submit this.
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167. - Why not? - Because there
are no facts, no proof.
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168. I'm sorry, but it stinks.
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169. But I need that internship.
I want to be on tv.
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170. Then you'd better come up with
something great by tomorrow.
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171. - Oh well, just watch me.
- I don't think you can do it.
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172. - I'm going to make you eat those words.
- Do you want to kiss me.
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173. - As much as I want to kiss you?
- No, I don't.
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174. Worth a shot.
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175. - Aw, that movie was awesome!
- So awesome!
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176. When the blood shot out of that guy's arm,
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177. - It looked so real!
- So real!
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178. What are you guys talking about?
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179. - Uh, nothing.
- We just saw "decapitation 3."
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180. - No, we didn't.
- Yes, we did.
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181. Remember I almost barfed when they used.
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182. That lady's head as a bowling ball?
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183. Wait wait wait.
That movie's rated pg-13.
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184. Who took you guys to go see it?
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185. His mom.
His dad.
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186. We slipped the guy at the box office.
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187. Five extra bucks and he let us in.
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188. What is wrong with you?
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189. She's a direct pipeline to the man.
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190. And by the man I mean my mom.
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191. Okay, so that sleazeball
at the movie theater.
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192. Is taking bribes from kids?
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193. That's... Fantastic!
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194. - It is?
- Yes yes.
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195. This is exactly the kind of story I need.
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196. This is going to put me on tv,
where I belong.
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197. You sound like mom.
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198. Shut up.
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199. Ugh, nice job.
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200. - We're probably going to get
in trouble now. - I'm sorry.
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201. Hey, you want some melted pocket chocolate?
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202. That's disgusting.
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203. Yeah, okay.
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204. - Emergency! Bob, we have an emergency.
- What? What is it?
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205. - The shoes are gone.
- Nobody move!
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206. This house is on lockdown!
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207. What... wh-when was
the last time you saw them?
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208. Um, uh, when I got home last night,
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209. I put them in the box and went to bed.
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210. Then I got out of bed to go to
the bathroom, put them back on,
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211. Went to the bathroom, put them
back in the box and went to bed.
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212. Wait, why would you put on
shoes to go to the bathroom?
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213. Because they make everything an event.
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214. Honey, look, the only event right
now is that we're out $400.
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215. We've got to find the shoes!
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216. - Hey, guys.
- Hey.
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217. Hi. Why is Charlie
so dirty?
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218. We were playing Chase in the yard.
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219. And because she was wearing high
heels, she slipped and fell.
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220. - What heels?
- These.
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221. - No! - Yeah. Yeah, she looked
pretty cute in them too.
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222. I got some great pics on my phone.
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223. - You guys want to see?
- Ugh.
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224. See?
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225. It's funny, not sad.
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226. Hey, dustin, how's it going?
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227. I'm P.J.
I don't know if you remember me.
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228. - We went to kindergarten together.
- We did?
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229. Yeah yeah, I was the kid who
glued his face to the desk.
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230. I was the kid who got his tongue
caught in the hamster wheel.
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231. I was the kid who cut off your ponytail.
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232. Oh yeah, I remember that.
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233. Yeah yeah.
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234. Listen, I know it's probably
way too late for this,
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235. But I just... I want
to say I'm really sorry.
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236. Eh, don't worry about it.
It was a long time ago.
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237. - So you're not mad?
- Not at all.
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238. Oh, that's so great, man.
You mind if I stay?
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239. - Sure sure.
- Cool.
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240. You're not going to cut
my hair again, are you?
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241. - Oh. Whoo.
- Yeah.
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242. Okay okay, you guys, come on.
So here's the plan:
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243. Gabe, you'll buy the tickets.
Jake, you'll wear this hat.
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244. It has a camera in it and
it'll record the whole thing.
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245. I don't look good in hats.
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246. Jake, come on, we got to do this.
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247. Dude, my hair is my best feature.
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248. Okay, well, if you guys
don't go through with this,
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249. I'll tell both your moms
about "decapitation 3"...
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250. And "1" and "2."
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251. - Uh, you know about those?
- I do now.
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252. Can I at least wear it backwards?
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253. It's more hip hop that way.
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254. What he lacks in brains
he makes up for in...
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255. He's got a pool.
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256. Sponge.
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257. Marker.
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258. Pretzel.
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259. - Are they going to make it?
- Shh.
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260. A very critical part of the operation.
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261. I need absolute quiet.
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262. - Hey, guys! How's it going?
- Ooh! My gosh!
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263. Did we lose her?
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264. - What is it, P.J.?
- This is dustin.
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265. Is it okay if he sleeps over?
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266. - Sure. Hi. Fine.
- Cool, thanks.
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267. - What are they doing? - I don't know.
Playing catch with shoes.
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268. Go go.
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269. Two tickets for "decapitation 3," please.
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270. Ooh, that's pg-13, guys.
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271. And since I don't see
any adults around here,
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272. If you want to buy a ticket,
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273. There's going to be a handling fee.
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274. Hey, maybe we should see
"fishy friendz" instead.
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275. No no no no.
Look at Gabe!
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276. Look at Gabe!
Oh!
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277. It features the voice talents
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278. Of Steve carell
and Rosie Perez.
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279. Enjoy the show.
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280. - Okay, are we done now?
- No no, you didn't get it.
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281. Jake was looking at the
poster for "fishy friendz."
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282. I couldn't help it.
The fish was wearing glasses.
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283. That's hilarious!
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284. All right, we're doing this again.
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285. This time I'm wearing the hat.
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286. Here.
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287. Jake, you wait here.
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288. - One ticket for "decapitation 3.
" - Weren't you just here?
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289. Yeah, I was here and you were there.
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290. And I gave you some money.
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291. Now do you want to do it again or not?
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292. Okay, you know the drill.
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293. Handling fee.
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294. Excuse me, did you just
sell an 11-year-old boy.
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295. A ticket
to a pg-13 movie?
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296. What? I... I don't know
what you're talking about.
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297. Oh yeah? Okay.
Well, I think you do.
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298. Because I just caught the whole thing on my hat Cam.
Care to make a statement?
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299. Yeah. How about...
how about I give you.
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300. Two free tickets to "fishy friendz"
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301. And we make this thing go away, huh?
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302. Do it!
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303. Busted! This is Teddy
Duncan, teen reporter.
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304. Remember, when there's news
to be reported, then...
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305. The one reporting it will be me.
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306. I'll fix that later.
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307. - Good morning.
- Hey.
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308. Why are you holding the mirror?
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309. Because now we're even.
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310. Ahh!
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311. Ah!
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312. Dude, I just had the weirdest dream.
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313. Really? What about?
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314. It was actually kind of crazy.
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315. To get back at me you shaved half my head.
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316. Wow. Wow, that is crazy.
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317. - Should we get some breakfast?
- Yeah, sounds good.
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318. - Are you chilly?
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319. I'm a little chilly.
Huh.
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320. This is Teddy duncan
getting all up in your news.
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321. So what do you think?
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322. It's hard-hitting,
informative and entertaining.
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323. It's the best piece I've seen all semester and...
I'm killing it.
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324. - What? Why?
- That box office guy is my brother.
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325. - Your brother?
- Yeah.
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326. I got the looks, but he got the crazy.
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327. Wait, but I want that internship.
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328. - He's my ride to school.
- That's not fair.
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329. - Life isn't fair.
- You can't do this.
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330. - Kiss me.
- No, thank you.
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331. Well, Charlie, looks like
my reporting career.
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332. Has hit a little bump in the road.
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333. Oh, my feet are killing me.
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334. Mom, why did you wear your heels to work?
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335. Oh, they make everything an event.
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336. Oh. The store wouldn't
take them back, huh?
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337. Laughed in my face.
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338. See, this is a good lesson, Charlie.
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339. If you try to pull a scam,
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340. You're going to suffer the consequences.
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341. Here here, give me that camera.
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342. No, mom, I'll do
the video diary, thank you.
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343. No no no no. I've got something
I'd like to say to Charlie.
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344. Stay out of my closet, all right?
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345. Yeah? Next time you take
a pair of my shoes...
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346. You can take it from here.
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347. Good luck, Charlie.
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348. Good evening and welcome to
"gabe and Jake at the movies."
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349. I'm Gabe...
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350. This popcorn makes my fingers shiny.
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351. And that's Jake.
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352. The first movie we're reviewing
tonight is "fishy friendz."
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353. Now I found it familiar and tired,
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354. Nothing I hadn't seen 100 times before.
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355. - Jake?
- It was awesome!
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356. That's what you say about every movie.
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357. Because I like every movie.
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358. Then what's the point of doing this show?
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359. Free popcorn.
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360. - You're an idiot.
- You're the idiot.
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361. - Am not!
- Are so!
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362. That's all the time we have for this week.
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363. See the next time on: Gabe at the movies.
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364. Hey!
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