1. Hey, dad, I want to sign up for hockey.
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2. - No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.
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3. No, you don't!
Keep your voice down.
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4. Why?
What's wrong with hockey?
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5. Shh shh shh!
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6. Did someone say hockey?
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7. N-no, honey.
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8. I said I was feeling a little...
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9. Stocky.
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10. I heard the word hockey
come up from the air vent.
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11. I asked if I could play hockey
and then dad got all weird.
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12. I have been dreaming of the day.
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13. When one of my kids strapped on the skates.
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14. And followed in mama's footsteps.
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15. - I feel a story coming on.
- I was the star.
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16. Of the southwest Denver
community college lady icers.
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17. - You even had a cute nickname.
- They called me "psycho."
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18. Broke the league record
for penalty minutes.
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19. - And that's why they called
me... - Psycho. I got it.
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20. Can I play hockey?
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21. Not only can you play hockey,
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22. I'm gonna teach you everything
I know about the sport.
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23. No, that's okay, mom.
They actually have coaches.
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24. Coach...
I'll be your coach!
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25. - Great idea!
- Coach psycho.
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26. - Psycho.
- That's right, Charlie.
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27. Mommy's psycho.
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28. - Okay, see you tomorrow, babe.
- Okay.
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29. Oh, hey, Derek,
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30. I was wondering if maybe after school.
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31. - You wanna go mini golfing?
- Eh, whatever.
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32. Okay, so, um, is that a whatever like...
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33. "I don't wanna go," or a whatever like
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34. "mini golf, wow!"?
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35. Whichever.
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36. Okay okay, so is that
a whichever like "whatever"
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37. Or a whichever like
"mini golf, wow!"?
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38. - No worries.
- Whatever.
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39. - 'kay, see you, babe.
- Okay.
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40. Ivy, can I ask you something?
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41. - Sure, what's up?
- It's about Derek.
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42. And I want you to be completely honest.
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43. You know, we've been going out for a while.
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44. And at first it was fun
and everything, but now
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45. I'm kinda wondering if maybe I should...
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46. Dump his sorry butt!
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47. - Whoa.
- Do it! Now.
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48. He's probably still out there.
I'll go get him.
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49. Whoa, Ivy, Ivy, wait!
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50. I don't mean right now.
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51. I've never broken up with somebody
before and I'm kind of nervous about it.
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52. - There's nothing to be nervous about.
- Well, I... I don't know.
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53. It's easy.
Look.
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54. Just pretend I'm Derek
and break up with me.
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55. If it helps, I'll put a stupid look on
my face and breathe through my mouth.
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56. Um...
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57. No, I'm not gonna practice
breaking up with somebody.
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58. I mean, how hard can it be?
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59. I just tell Derek
how I feel... nicely...
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60. And then we both go on with our lives.
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61. Heh heh.
Whatever.
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62. Okay, could you stop doing that, please?
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63. Ehhh, I like it.
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64. It's relaxing.
I feel like my brain's on vacation.
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65. Okay, people, listen up.
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66. The geniuses at corporate have
come up with a new menu item.
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67. They are called chicken slivers.
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68. - What's a sliver?
Is it like a nugget? - No.
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69. - Is it like a tender?
- Nope.
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70. - Does it have chicken in it?
- According to legal,
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71. The answer to that question
is "possibly."
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72. And remember, they're not
just chicken slivers,
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73. They are corporal kwikki's chicken slivers,
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74. In honor of our founder,
corporal bull s. Kwikki.
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75. - What's he a corporal of?
- Lip-smacking goodness.
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76. Which is also the title
of his autobiography.
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77. Okay, minimum wagers...
paychecks.
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78. - Thanks.
- Thank you.
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79. Mitch, aren't we supposed
to be making minimum wage?
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80. It's the law.
My dad told me about it.
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81. Never talk to your parents!
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82. Seriously, guys,
what happens here is sacred.
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83. This is a safe place.
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84. Wait a minute.
"minimum" means the least.
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85. We're making less than the least?
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86. Okay, doors opening,
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87. Let's feed the world, huh?
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88. Isn't there something
you can do about our salary?
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89. - Why me?
- You're the smartest one here.
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90. I am?
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91. But my foot's in a mop bucket.
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92. Yeah, but you know how to get it out.
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93. I thought we were going to the ice rink.
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94. No. You can't go anywhere near the ice
until you learn the fundamentals.
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95. Sounds boring.
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96. It's not boring.
It's fun!
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97. Come on, you can't spell
fundamental without "fun."
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98. You also can't spell it
without "mental."
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99. Okay, fundamental
number one: Positioning.
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100. Why is there a pad on the wall?
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101. Because I believe in safety first.
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102. - What was that?
- That's called checking.
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103. It's not allowed at your level...
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104. Unless the ref doesn't see you.
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105. - Now you check me.
- No way, you're my mom.
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106. Come on, check me, you little weenie.
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107. That's called avoiding a check.
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108. Get up.
Let's practice your skating.
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109. Okay, I will demonstrate.
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110. Whoosh whoosh whoosh,
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111. Nice and easy, just like mama.
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112. - Now you try.
- Okay.
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113. - Not bad.
- Not bad?
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114. I'd say I'm pretty good.
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115. Never get comfortable.
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116. - Hey, sweetie pie.
- Hey, dad.
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117. Actually I was...
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118. Hey, P.J.
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119. - You okay?
- I got a big problem at work.
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120. I found out my boss is underpaying us.
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121. And now the staff wants me
to do something about it.
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122. - Why you?
- I'm the smartest.
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123. Um... How exactly
was that determined?
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124. I don't know.
Probably a secret vote.
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125. Maybe a raffle.
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126. Uh, well, what are you gonna do?
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127. I don't know.
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128. - I don't know.
- P.J.!
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129. You can't go through life answering
every question with "I don't know."
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130. Really?
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131. I have so far and I'm
a senior in High School.
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132. Probably a raffle.
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133. Um, look,
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134. Son, if you think you deserve more money,
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135. Then stand up for yourself.
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136. By the way, your coworkers,
they are counting on you
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137. To be strong.
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138. Oh man, I just found out I'm smart,
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139. Now I have to be strong too?
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140. Enjoy your childhood, Charlie.
It does not last forever.
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141. Cookie?
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142. P.J. Wuv a cookie.
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143. Okay... Okay okay,
he's here.
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144. Oh, Ivy, I don't know if I can do this.
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145. My heart is pounding.
Oh, hi, he sees me!
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146. He's waving.
All right, now I'm waving and smiling.
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147. This feels so wrong.
Gotta go.
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148. - Hey there, hi, Derek.
- Hey.
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149. Oh hi, thank you for meeting me.
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150. - Hey, no worries.
- Yeah, uh...
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151. Well, there might be a few.
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152. Listen, I owe you an apology.
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153. - For what? - For blowing off
that whole mini golf thing.
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154. Oh no no no, that's okay.
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155. No! No, it's not.
You're my girl.
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156. If you like mini golf,
I should like mini golf.
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157. I don't like mini golf that much.
And speaking of.
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158. - Not liking things...
- Wait.
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159. Before you say anything else,
I've got something for you.
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160. Mm-hmm.
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161. Oh, ha ha.
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162. A leather jacket just like yours.
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163. Yeah, except this one
says "d's girl."
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164. You like it?
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165. What's not to like?
I mean, I...
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166. I'm d's girl, now it says so...
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167. On a jacket.
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168. - Yeah, well, try it on.
- Ooo-kay.
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169. Wow, awesome.
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170. Now when you're on the back of my bike.
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171. Everyone will know who you are.
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172. D's girl.
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173. - What's going on?
- Mitch, we need to talk.
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174. You found out what's in the chicken?
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175. - No. - You found out what
we feed the chickens?
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176. - No. - Is this about the
finger in the fingers?
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177. - What?
- Why don't you.
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178. Tell me what this is about?
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179. - We want a raise.
- A raise.
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180. Okay.
Okay.
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181. We can discuss that at your
next salary negotiation.
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182. Which I believe is scheduled
for the 5th of...
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183. Octembruary.
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184. That's not even a real month!
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185. Right, P.J.?
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186. Look, Mitch, what you're doing is wrong.
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187. And we're not gonna
let you get away with it.
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188. - We demand a raise!
- And if I don't give it to you.
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189. You're gonna what?
Go on strike?
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190. - That's exactly what we'll do.
- You're gonna walk right out?
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191. If that's what striking is, then yes.
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192. All right.
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193. All right.
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194. Come on, guys.
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195. - You'll be sorry.
- No, we won't.
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196. Uh, I'm kinda sorry.
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197. I left my wallet in the break room.
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198. All right, guys, we're on strike.
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199. Yeah!
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200. What do we do now?
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201. Uh...
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202. I don't know.
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203. While we figure out what a strike is,
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204. Let's get out of the way
and let the customers in.
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205. - Welcome to kwikki chikki.
- Try the slivers!
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206. Mom, mom, hi.
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207. - Teddy, what are you doing here?
- I need some advice.
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208. Oh honey, I'm working.
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209. Yeah, but this is about my love life.
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210. Oh honey, I think that can
wait till tonight.
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211. Nurse Duncan, patient in 312
needs a sponge bath.
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212. Rhonda, can you handle that?
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213. I'm dealing with a family
crisis right here.
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214. Thank you.
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215. What up, girl?
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216. This is what's up.
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217. D's girl? I thought you were
gonna break up with Derek?
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218. Yeah, I tried, but then
he gave me this jacket.
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219. And now I don't know what to do.
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220. Honey, these things are
never easy, but the longer.
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221. You let it go on the worse it's gonna be.
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222. Okay, just promise yourself.
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223. The very next time you see Derek,
you're gonna break up with him.
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224. Okay.
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225. Okay okay, the very next time.
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226. - Yes.
- Hey!
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227. Oh hey, Derek.
What... Derek?
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228. - Oh my gosh.
- What happened?
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229. Uh, well, I was on my motorcycle.
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230. And then I passed that store
that sells Teddy bears.
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231. And I started thinking of you
'cause, well, you're my Teddy bear.
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232. And then I was in someone's backyard.
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233. Not tvery next time.
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234. No bucks, no clucks.
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235. No bucks, no clucks.
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236. No bucks, no clucks.
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237. No bucks, no clucks.
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238. Are you really gonna
cross this picket line?
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239. You're gonna have to go through her.
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240. Yeah!
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241. I say "chikki,"
you say "icky."
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242. - Chikki chikki!
- Icky icky!
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243. How's it going out here, strikers?
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244. So, Mitch, are you here
to meet our demands?
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245. No. I'm here to meet
my new employees.
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246. Welcome to kwikki chikki.
Let's get started right away.
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247. All right, don't worry
about washing your hands.
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248. What about us?
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249. Oh, good news.
You're all fired.
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250. - That's not fair.
- Tell that to the genius.
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251. That told you to go out on strike.
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252. Thanks a lot, P.J.
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253. Wha... guys?
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254. This isn't over.
Guys, come back!
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255. Well, it looks like it's just
you and me, Charlie.
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256. I don't know where you're going.
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257. I'm your ride!
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258. Mom, come on!
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259. Come on, rookie, let's see what you got.
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260. This is what I got.
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261. Had to play hockey.
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262. Gabe, honey, you're gonna have
to do better than that.
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263. If you ever want to set foot on the ice.
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264. Okay, bring it.
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265. Well, dad, I took your advice,
made a stand.
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266. Hey, good for you.
And?
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267. Everyone got fired.
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268. - That's terrible.
- Yeah.
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269. - I know.
- I'm really sorry.
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270. I... I-I can't help feeling kind
of responsible for all this.
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271. Well, you are responsible,
so your feeling is correct.
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272. Look, there's gotta be
somebody you can talk to.
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273. - Go over your boss's head.
- To who?
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274. Not even corporal bull s. Kwikki
himself could save us now.
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275. The guy in the ads?
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276. He's real?
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277. Yeah, of course he's real.
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278. And he really has a horse
named "curly fry"?
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279. That was a joke in a commercial.
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280. You don't even know your history.
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281. Okay.
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282. - You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
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283. All right, just get in there,
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284. Break his heart and get out.
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285. - Hey.
- Hey.
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286. - Are you gonna sit down?
- Uh, no. No, um...
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287. There's something I want to say.
I'm just gonna say it.
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288. This might be a little tough
because I know you're into me.
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289. You got me that jacket, but, uh,
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290. The thing is...
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291. I think we should break up.
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292. Uh... Okay.
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293. Okay?
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294. Yeah, I mean, if...
if it's what you want.
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295. Yeah, no, that's what I want.
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296. No worries.
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297. Great.
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298. Okay, well...
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299. - Goodbye.
- Bye.
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300. Okay, sorry,
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301. You're taking this really well.
Why is that?
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302. I mean, well, if it's not working...
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303. It wasn't working for me, but
it was working for you, right?
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304. Sure.
Whatever.
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305. Cool.
Goodbye.
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306. Again.
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307. Okay, I'm sorry.
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308. I'm breaking your heart here.
The polite response.
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309. Would be to show a little bit of emotion!
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310. - Hey, how are we doing over here?
- Not so great!
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311. I just broke up with Derek and
he's taking it really well!
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312. - But that's good, right?
- No!
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313. No no, I want him to be devastated.
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314. Why aren't you devastated?
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315. Teddy, people are staring.
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316. Oh ho ho,
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317. So I'm embarrassing you?
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318. No no, you're supposed
to be embarrassing me, fella.
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319. - Whoa whoa!
- First breakup, people.
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320. Oh no, this breakup's not over!
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321. I'm calling you later!
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322. Here is your last check.
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323. Do not stay in touch.
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324. I never liked you.
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325. Atten-hut!
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326. Corporal bull s. Kwikki
is in the corral.
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327. - What are you doing here?
- Excuse me, pardner.
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328. I heard there was some
feuding going on down here.
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329. At franchise 157.
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330. Labor dispute.
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331. May I say, corporal,
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332. Um, you look somewhat bigger in person.
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333. Uh, yes.
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334. Well, the promotional department.
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335. Thinks I'm more relatable to the peoples.
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336. When I'm all shrunk down like that.
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337. Let me ask you, corporal,
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338. Where exactly did you come from?
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339. Oh, out yonder.
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340. And exactly which state.
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341. Is yonder in?
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342. Sir, that would be
the great state of, uh...
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343. Alabama?
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344. Wrong! Everyone knows corporal bull s.
Kwikki.
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345. Is from new Jersey.
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346. - Ow.
- Who is this imposter?
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347. Okay, I can explain.
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348. What in tarnation is going on in here?
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349. I don't believe it!
This is the real corporal kwikki!
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350. Come on, how stupid do you think I am?
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351. I did not come all the way from
the great state of new Jersey.
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352. To have my beard yanked by a troll.
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353. Oh my goodness, it really is you.
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354. Corporal kwikki, it's an honor, sir.
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355. Quit flapping your gums, boy,
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356. And give these kids their jobs back.
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357. And pay us what we deserve...
minimum wage!
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358. Done and done.
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359. Now go wrassle me up some Curly fries.
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360. I got a powerful hunger
that can only be satisfied.
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361. By the curliest of fries.
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362. How did I do, P.J?
Was it...
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363. Mr. Kern, that was awesome.
Thank you so much.
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364. - Wait a minute. Mr.
Kern your shop teacher? - Yeah.
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365. I'm trying to become the drama teacher.
How do you think I did?
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366. - 'cause I think I nailed it.
- Oh, it was awesome.
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367. Howdy, y'all.
Bull s. Kwikki here.
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368. Dad, you're late.
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369. We got it covered.
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370. For crying out loud!
I took off work for this?
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371. Hey, Charlie, listen,
don't have a lot of time.
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372. Gotta go meet Derek.
We're still breaking up.
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373. Yeah yeah, you know,
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374. We'll just...
we'll continue to break up.
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375. Until he gets it right.
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376. Mom, let's go.
We're gonna be late for my game.
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377. Okay okay okay,
I have my thun-glathes,
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378. My keyth, my purthe.
What am I mithing?
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379. Your teeth.
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380. And who'th responthible for that?
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381. Thorry.
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382. Hey, don't you thath me, mister.
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383. Well, in this house.
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384. It's always something.
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385. Hey, don't you thtart!
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386. Good luck, Charlie.
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387. Aw, I declare, she is cuter
than a duck's butt.
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388. Well, I hope you boys is hungry.
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389. The missus is rustling up some grub.
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390. Anything but chicken, son.
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391. Well played, sir.
Well played.
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392. Well, while we're waiting,
how about a song?
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393. That's a fine idea.
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394. Do you know any lady gaga?
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395. "home on the range" it is.
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396. Back off, gentlemen,
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397. That toothless darling's all mine.
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