1. Thanks for the ride home.
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2. I've never been on a motorcycle before.
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3. Were you scared?
You were holding on pretty tight.
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4. Yeah, but that wasn't because I was scared.
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5. Anyway, see you tomorrow
night at the movies?
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6. Yeah, for sure.
What time do you want me to pick you up?
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7. Pick me up?
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8. Um, you know what?
You don't have to do that.
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9. We can just...
we'll meet at the mall.
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10. That way you don't have to come here.
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11. - We'll just meet there.
- Well...
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12. At the mall.
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13. Okay, but maybe we could just,
like, go in and hang out
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14. - for a little while.
- No.
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15. Derek, no.
If we hang out now,
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16. what will we have to talk about tomorrow,
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17. at the mall?
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18. Well, maybe we could...
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19. Shh.
Save it for the mall.
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20. Okay, well, I'll see you later.
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21. All right, bye.
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22. - Who's the guy?
- What?
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23. What guy?
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24. The guy you're trying
to hide from mom and dad.
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25. I'm not trying
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26. to hide anybody from anyone.
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27. Teddy, let's not play this game.
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28. We all know there's a guy.
We all know he has a motorcycle.
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29. And we all know I have photos.
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30. So what do I care?
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31. You care because I can't be trusted
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32. with information like this.
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33. Gabby Gabe they call me.
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34. Okay, just tell me what you want, gabby.
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35. I got into a little trouble at school.
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36. And now my teacher wants
to talk with my parents.
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37. So what does that have to do with me?
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38. Funny you should ask, Teddy.
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39. Or should I say "mom"?
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40. Oh, no no no no.
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41. It can totally work.
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42. Miss Monroe is old
and has terrible eyesight.
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43. No, that's crazy.
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44. I'm not gonna pretend to be mom.
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45. Here's an interesting photo.
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46. I believe they call this a wheelie.
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47. Well, isn't someone being
especially evil today?
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48. I got a good night's sleep.
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49. Okay, so even if I do agree,
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50. who are you gonna get to play dad?
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51. Hey, guys.
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52. P.J., I need you to be my
pretend dad at school.
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53. Sure.
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54. That's it.
You're just gonna do what he says?
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55. In the long run, it just saves time.
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56. Thank you, honey.
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57. Hey hey hey hey!
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58. Didn't you forget something?
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59. I'm not gonna do it every time.
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60. Bob, do you think we should
get something for Charlie
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61. to play on, like a swing set or slide?
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62. She doesn't need any of that stuff.
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63. She's got all sorts of
things to do back here.
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64. Really?
Honey, look at her.
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65. Honey, she's using her imagination.
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66. In her mind, that stick, it's a sword.
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67. It's a magic wand.
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68. - What you got there, Charlie?
- A stick.
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69. Which you are pretending is a...
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70. Stick.
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71. P.J., there's something
we need to talk about.
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72. Oh no, I knew this was gonna happen.
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73. You wanna break up, right?
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74. Oh, no no no, I think things
are going really well.
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75. Me too.
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76. It's just that we've been seeing
each other for three weeks
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77. and we haven't even gone
out on our first date yet.
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78. Oh. Yeah, you're right.
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79. We've only been out with friends.
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80. Yeah, and I think you learn a lot
about a person on a first date.
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81. Like what?
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82. Like sometimes their name.
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83. Or if the relationship is meant to be.
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84. - Really?
- Yeah.
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85. An awesome first date sets the
tone for the entire relationship.
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86. I saw it on a cover of a magazine.
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87. Just the cover?
Did you read the article?
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88. No, I'm not a big reader.
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89. We are so right for each other.
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90. Unh-unh-unh. How do I know until
we've had our first date?
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91. Okay, all right, well, where do you
wanna go on our awesome first date?
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92. What date?
No one's asked me out yet.
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93. - Hint hint.
- Right.
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94. Right, okay.
Well, Skyler, would you like to...
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95. Oops, I think my earring just fell out.
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96. - Uh-oh.
- Do you see it?
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97. No. Wait.
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98. Wait. Oh, yeah,
here it is.
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99. Got it.
Where was I?
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100. Oh, yeah.
Skyler, would you...
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101. - P.J., what are you doing?
- Dad, I was...
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102. I was about to ask Skyler
a very important question.
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103. You're 17 years old.
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104. You work at kwikki chikki.
You wanna ruin your life forever?
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105. I was just gonna ask her out on a date.
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106. Oh.
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107. Have fun.
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108. Li'l tots forts o' fun...
Charlie is gonna love this.
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109. Now let's rip this baby
open and slap her together.
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110. Whoa whoa whoa.
Slow down. Slow down.
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111. Before we do any ripping and slapping,
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112. we're gonna read the directions.
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113. Bob, that always takes forever.
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114. Honey, the directions are the
difference between a fort and firewood.
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115. We don't need directions.
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116. All we have to do is look at the
picture on the box and make that.
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117. Just look at the picture and make that.
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118. Well, that explains your cooking.
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119. I'm gonna go get some reading glasses.
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120. Do not touch anything
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121. until I get back.
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122. I won't.
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123. Take your time.
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124. Stop! Whoa whoa whoa, stop stop!
What are you doing?
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125. I'm making these two pieces fit.
I almost got it.
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126. No no, no more kicking.
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127. We have to read the directions.
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128. We don't have to read the
directions to know that this piece
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129. fits into this piece pretty much.
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130. - Gimme this.
- No, would you just let me do this.
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131. Gimme this.
You don't know what you're doing,
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132. and somebody might get hurt.
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133. Are you okay?
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134. Because I'm seeing three of you right now
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135. and I don't even wanna see one of you,
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136. I'm gonna let you build this by yourself.
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137. Thank you.
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138. From all of us.
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139. Gabe, are your parents coming or not?
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140. Mrs. Monroe, how many
fingers am I holding up?
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141. - Three.
- Yeah, they're on their way.
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142. - Hello.
- Mom!
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143. There you are, you little scamp.
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144. Dial it down.
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145. - I'm Mrs. Monroe.
- Hi.
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146. - So nice to meet you.
- Yes, Amy Duncan, nurse, mother of four.
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147. How you doing?
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148. Way down.
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149. There's my husband.
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150. Dad?
Sorry, I'm late, chaps.
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151. I'm Bob.
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152. Mr. Duncan, I didn't know
you were british.
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153. Yeah, neither did
Mrs. Duncan.
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154. That's right.
I'm british.
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155. What an interesting accent.
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156. What part of england are you from?
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157. Ostrich-shi-shi-shire.
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158. Pardon.
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159. Ostrich-shi-shi-shire.
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160. I don't believe I've heard of ostrichshire.
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161. You one "shi" short, love.
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162. Dad, I'm in trouble.
Let's focus on that.
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163. Yes, Gabe has been misbehaving
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164. and I thought we should talk about it.
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165. Yes, rest assured, we are aware,
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166. and are going to put
an end to this behavior.
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167. Yes, I will be taking the young lad out
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168. to the hollyhock house
where we'll Shepherd his pie.
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169. - What?
- It's just something they say
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170. in ostrich-shi-shi...
where he's from.
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171. - Hey, dad.
- Hey.
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172. Why are you wearing a fake mustache?
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173. Why aren't you wearing one?
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174. I do enjoy our talks, son.
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175. Hey, while we're talking,
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176. at's your idea of a perfect first date?
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177. First date?
First date.
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178. No, I'm sorry.
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179. I really need an answer on that mustache.
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180. Fine. I was pretending to
be a british version of you.
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181. So you got a question about dating.
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182. Yeah, I gotta come up with
something great for Skyler,
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183. but I don't have any ideas.
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184. How about a moonlight picnic?
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185. You can drive up into the mountains,
look out over the lights of the city.
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186. Sounds romantic.
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187. - Yeah. - I like it.
Thanks, dad.
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188. - Hey, dad.
- Hey.
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189. Why are you wearing a fake mustache?
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190. Why aren't you wearing one?
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191. Charlie, before you know it,
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192. you're gonna have something a lot
better than a box to play in.
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193. Now let me just finish off this last nail
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194. and...
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195. Then again, that box looks pretty fun.
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196. - Oh, hey.
- Hey.
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197. - Hey.
- Hey.
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198. - You look good.
- You look good.
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199. We all look good.
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200. Would you sit down? Trying to do
the celebrity word scramble here.
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201. Julia Roberts!
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202. Teddy, I gotta ask you something.
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203. Is there a reason that you didn't
want me to come to your house?
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204. No, what are talking about?
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205. Ryan Reynolds.
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206. Do it in your head.
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207. I don't know.
I kinda got the vibe that maybe
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208. you don't wanna introduce
me to your family.
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209. No, it's not that I don't
want them to meet you.
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210. It's that I don't want them
to meet your motorcycle
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211. and your biker boots
and your leather jacket
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212. with the skull on it.
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213. Teddy, I don't wanna be somebody
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214. you have to hide from your parents.
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215. - Zac Efron!
- Come on!
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216. You know what?
I like you the way you are.
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217. That's all that matters.
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218. So come over tomorrow night
and I'll introduce you.
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219. Cool.
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220. - Here you go.
- Thank you, mother.
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221. That's Gabe's mother.
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222. And that's not her husband.
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223. Relax, maybe they're just friends.
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224. Or not.
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225. Diet, mother?
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226. You're 41 years old and single.
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227. Yeah, diet.
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228. - Angelina Jolie!
- Mom!
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229. Ha! Look at that.
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230. Yeah, first it was there,
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231. and now it's here.
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232. There, here.
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233. - You actually did this.
- Guess somebody was wrong.
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234. - Charlie, honey, who was wrong?
- Daddy!
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235. Well, daddy's very impressed.
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236. And a little shocked.
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237. And mommy is gonna do a victory dance.
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238. Now we're gonna switch it up.
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239. - going inside now.
- Bye-bye. In Spanish...
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240. - hi, I'm Tim.
- I'm Bob.
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241. Why are we talking?
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242. Forgot to give this to your wife.
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243. What is it?
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244. It's the bill for assembling
your play structure.
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245. You put that together?
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246. Yep, turned out pretty good, huh?
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247. Couldn't possibly have turned out better.
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248. Well, if you'd like to reflect
your satisfaction with a tip.
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249. - Bye-bye, Tim.
- You know, I take...
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250. How are you enjoying our first date so far?
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251. Pretty special, right?
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252. This sure is a twisty road.
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253. Which is fine with me 'cause this is fun.
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254. Whoo-oo!
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255. Whoo-oo!
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256. You aren't whooing.
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257. That's because I don't feel very well.
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258. Maybe you're just hungry.
Take something out of the picnic basket.
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259. Or put something in.
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260. Your choice.
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261. Help!
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262. - ( Structure falling )
- Help!
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263. Gabe, Gabe, watch Charlie!
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264. Bob!
What happened?
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265. I don't know.
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266. I was just standing here
admiring the swing set...
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267. You know, the one you put
together all by yourself...
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268. And then boom!
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269. The whole thing came down on top of me.
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270. - Are you okay?
- I don't know.
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271. I just... I feel so sleepy.
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272. No no no. No, Bob, stay with me.
Stay with me.
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273. Amy, just know that
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274. no matter what happens to me,
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275. I don't blame you for the way
you put this thing together.
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276. - I'm gonna go get help.
- No no!
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277. Let me. Tim.
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278. Oh, you know Tim, right?
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279. Of course I do.
Hi, Tim.
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280. - How you doing?
- Hi, Mrs. Duncan.
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281. Bob Duncan, how dare you
scare me like that!
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282. Well, you deserved it for lying to me.
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283. What? So now I
can't lie to you?
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284. I thought we had a good
marriage going here.
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285. Here's the bill for taking it apart.
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286. Thank you.
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287. Oh, could you put this back
together again please?
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288. Sure, then tomorrow
you want me to come back
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289. and take it apart again?
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290. No.
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291. Gosh, Tim, we're not crazy.
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292. I am so glad you're
giving me a second chance.
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293. Let's just pretend our
first date never happened.
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294. What first date?
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295. The one where I puked in the picnic basket.
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296. No, it's an expression.
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297. Puked in the picnic basket's an expression?
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298. I don't think that's gonna catch on.
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299. Excuse me.
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300. Mrs. Monroe,
what are you doing here?
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301. Mr. Duncan, you've seemed
to have lost your accent.
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302. It comes and goes.
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303. Ah, there it is.
Pip pip.
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304. And you've lost your mustache too.
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305. That's right.
Me mustache went cheerio.
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306. Mr. Duncan,
I have disturbing news.
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307. It's about your wife.
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308. Your wife?
You have a wife?
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309. - No.
- You don't?
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310. Of course I do.
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311. - Who are you?
- I'm his girlfriend.
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312. Hey, guys, what's the...
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313. And here she is with her boyfriend?
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314. You're cheating on me?
You're a married woman.
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315. - You're married?
- No. No no no.
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316. - You're not?
- Of course I am.
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317. - Eww!
- Gabe!
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318. - Yes, mother.
- I'm starting to see
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319. why you didn't want me to meet your family.
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320. Gabe, Mrs. Monroe has
found out that your father
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321. and I are having problems.
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322. And does she know
Copy !req
323. that you guys are the reason I misbehave?
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324. I do now.
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325. Well, maybe some good can come
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326. from all this pain.
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327. Dial it down.
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328. Mrs. Monroe,
if you'll excuse us,
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329. this family has some healing to do.
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330. Which I would like to
do just with my parents
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331. and their dates.
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332. Stay warm, love.
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333. Don't wanna freeze off
your English muffins.
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334. Grandma, grandpa!
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335. What's going on?
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336. I'm Gabe's teacher.
I came to talk to his parents.
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337. We're his parents.
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338. That's right, grandpa.
You're my dad.
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339. He thinks he's the president too.
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340. - Who are you?
- Hey, I'm Derek.
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341. - Just a friend.
- Is that your motorcycle?
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342. - Yeah.
- No...
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343. - I love motorcycles.
- We're dating, me and Derek.
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344. Will you stop throwing that in my face?
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345. - We're done with that part.
- Jolly good.
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346. Hey, Charlie.
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347. Well, we all got grounded for
pretending to be mom and dad,
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348. but there's some good news.
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349. Looking good, Mr. Duncan.
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350. Oh, please, call me Bob.
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351. Yeah, turns out
I was worried about nothing.
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352. My new boyfriend is dad's new best friend.
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353. Maybe I do have something to worry about.
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354. And things are cool between me and Skyler,
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355. after I explained I wasn't
married to my sister.
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356. Yeah, that would have been awful.
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357. - Talk about puke in the picnic basket.
- Right.
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358. - What?
- Oh, it's an expression.
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359. - Yeah.
- ( Engine revving )
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360. - Whoopsie.
- My bike!
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361. Oh, well, that should put a
dent in the old friendship.
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362. And of course,
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363. your swing set has now
collapsed three times.
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364. Good luck, Charlie.
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365. - ( Videogame beeping )
- ( Doorbell rings )
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366. - What are you doing?
- Sorry to trouble you, governor,
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367. but I'm visiting the
States from the u.K.
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368. And me auto seems to have broken
down in front of your house.
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369. I'm trying to play a videogame here.
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370. If there's a funny part to this
story, can we please get to it.
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371. Saucy little bloke, aren't you?
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372. Anyway, may I use your telephone
to ring up the garage?
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373. Get in here.
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374. Gabe, who was at the...
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375. By jove, you're a handsome lad.
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376. Back at you, british dude.
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377. Wh...
if you're...
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378. What?
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379. Are you by any chance from ostrich-shi-shi-shire?
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380. Where? Never heard of it.
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381. I'm from ostrich-shi-shi-shi-shire.
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382. Ah, I was one "shi" short.
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