1. Well, this is awful.
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2. I can't believe we're spending
Charlie's birthday in jail.
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3. Well, as long as we're
all in here together,
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4. let's go over some ground rules.
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5. This is just a chair.
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6. - Well, what if I...
- Uh-uh.
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7. - What if...
- Hold it.
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8. Guys, it could be worse.
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9. Mom and dad could know we're here.
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10. - Kids?
- Uh-oh.
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11. Hi, mom. Hi, dad.
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12. - Hi.
- Hey.
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13. Nice family you got here.
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14. I'm guessing the dog is in the pound?
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15. We don't have a dog,
officer "snootee."
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16. It's pronounced "snoo-tay."
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17. - Get in there, you two.
- Here.
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18. What are you guys doing here?
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19. What are you guys doing here?
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20. Okay, before we get to that,
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21. let's go over the ground rules again.
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22. Dad, I want you to pay
extra close attention.
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23. So my kids are in jail.
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24. - Anybody wanna tell me why?
- Nope, we're good.
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25. Well, what about you?
Why are you guys in jail?
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26. Hey, we asked you first.
Start talking.
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27. All right well, as the oldest
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28. I guess I owe you guys an explanation.
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29. It's all Teddy's fault.
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30. - What? It is not!
- Oh really?
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31. We wouldn't be here if you
hadn't promised Charlie
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32. a birthday present you couldn't deliver.
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33. Well, Charlie, here you are,
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34. watching your favorite
tv show, "the gurgles."
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35. it's kind of annoying, but I guess
it's entertaining to your little brain.
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36. Oh, "the gurgles!"
What did I miss?
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37. - I love gurgles.
- Shh!
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38. So if we're having a contest
for who gives Charlie
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39. the best birthday present ever,
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40. I'll accept my prize now.
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41. Okay well, I gave her the gift of life,
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42. so let's see what you got.
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43. I'm getting her tickets
to the gurgles concert.
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44. - Oh!
- Yeah.
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45. I want her to have a great second birthday,
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46. unlike mine when I didn't
get the gift I wanted.
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47. Here we go, still whining
about a heo doggy.
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48. Howdy puppy,
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49. the rootinest tootinest
little chihuahua in the West.
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50. I wanted him more than
anything in the world
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51. and I...
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52. Oh, too soon.
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53. Hey, how are you coming
with the entertainment?
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54. Entertainment. Entertainment?
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55. For Charlie's birthday party.
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56. - What did you decide on?
- Ah.
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57. Still thinking. Noodling.
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58. A lot of things going on in the old hopper.
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59. The hopper's empty, isn't it, Bob?
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60. I... I don't even know
where it is anymore.
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61. Honey, Charlie's party is in three days.
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62. Oh, honey, come on, relax.
I'll think of something.
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63. Okay, we'll do a clown,
a bouncy house... whatever.
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64. Bob, honey, you have
to reserve those things.
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65. We have to decide on something good
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66. or it's gonna be hello doggy
all over again.
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67. Howdy puppy!
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68. - Hey, can I check my email?
- No no no no no.
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69. I'm about to buy gurgles
concert tickets online.
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70. They go on sale in eight seconds
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71. and I'm gonna be the first one to get them.
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72. Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one.
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73. What? Sold out?
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74. Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
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75. Hang on. Let me get in there.
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76. Let's see.
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77. - What are you doing?
- Checking my email.
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78. What? Give me that.
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79. How am I gonna get the tickets now?
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80. Well, the other day I was listening
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81. to that radio station
for kids, k. I.D.Z...
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82. Hey, kidz. I just got that.
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83. Why are you listening
to the kidz radio station?
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84. Because they told me
not to change the channel.
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85. Anyway, they're having a contest.
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86. Whoever makes the best video
wins tickets to the gurgles concert.
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87. We could make a great video.
All we need is one good idea.
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88. Oh okay, how about this?
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89. So we make a video of me putting on
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90. 200 pairs of underpants.
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91. And then I turn around
and on my butt it says.
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92. "I heart the gurgles."
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93. Yeah, that's not it.
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94. I've... I've got an idea.
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95. I've written some really great kid songs.
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96. We could turn one of those into a video.
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97. One good idea.
Just one good idea.
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98. I have got a song about talking toes
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99. that will knock your socks off.
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100. You get it? 'Cause it... okay.
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101. Okay, we're still going
through all the bad ideas.
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102. But we need a good one, and Charlie
should be the star of it.
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103. Well, I've always wanted
to shoot her out of a cannon.
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104. All right, still emptying out
all those bad ideas, okay.
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105. No cannons? No underpants?
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106. You're really tying my hands here.
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107. Hey hey, honey! Honey!
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108. Hey, come on.
Come in here. Come on.
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109. - I've got something I wanna show you.
- What is it?
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110. I wanna show you the entertainment
I got for Charlie's party.
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111. Voila.
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112. A little cart.
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113. This is why I'm missing "judge ira"?
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114. Oh my, I seemed to have
put the cart before the...
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115. Horse!
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116. Are you sure it's a horse?
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117. I've seen bigger dogs.
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118. Actually, I've seen bigger cats.
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119. Honey, it's a miniature horse.
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120. Well, he is kind of cute.
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121. - Where did you find him?
- At the stables.
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122. You know, I was gonna get a pony,
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123. and then I met this guy in the parking lot
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124. who said, "have I got
a deal for you."
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125. And well, after I said
"no thank you" to the speakers,
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126. he brought out shamrock here.
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127. Aw, he's adorable.
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128. Why is his tail going up?
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129. Oh.
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130. That was great.
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131. Hey, mom, we finished the video.
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132. - You wanna see it?
- Oh, can't wait.
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133. Yeah, we are so gonna win those tickets.
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134. Gurgles!
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135. Good evening.
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136. I'm here with the world's
biggest gurgles fan,
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137. miss Charlotte Duncan.
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138. Oh no, please call me Charlie.
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139. We're all friends here.
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140. So, Charlie, tell me how you first
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141. became acquainted with the gurgles.
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142. Well, I was 17... no, 18 months
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143. and I was doing a little bit
of channel surfing.
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144. Boring, blah.
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145. Been there, seen that.
Then ba-bam!
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146. The most wonderful collection
of shapes and colors.
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147. - I had ever seen.
- The gurgles.
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148. The gurgles indeed.
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149. And seeing them in concert
would make me feel...
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150. Well, why don't I just show you?
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151. - Lights, please.
- ( Rock music playing )
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152. - Wow, look at this.
- Cool.
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153. Wow!
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154. Forgive me.
I got a bit carried away.
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155. Now if we're done here,
I was promised a juice box.
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156. You guys, that was amazing!
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157. Oh, mom, you made a brilliant Charlie.
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158. Oh, didn't I?
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159. Good show, good show.
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160. Again.
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161. - Yes?
- Yeah.
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162. Hey, honey, you seen
the garage door opener?
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163. - ( Garage door opening )
- ( Hip-hop music playing )
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164. Never mind.
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165. What are you doing?
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166. There's a mini-horse
in our garage.
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167. Did you really think I wouldn't
take advantage of that?
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168. Where did you go?
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169. Just down the street to Austin's house.
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170. He's been bragging about his new dog.
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171. This shut him right up.
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172. All right, come on.
Get out of there, would you?
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173. - ( Shamrock neighs )
- Okay.
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174. Oh, here. There you go.
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175. - What is this?
- Tickets.
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176. Did you know you can't text
while riding a mini-horse?
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177. - Uh, Gabe.
- Yep?
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178. - You forgetting something?
- Oh right.
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179. Hey, it's 3:00.
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180. The winning video should be up by now.
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181. I'm on it.
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182. Hey, P.J. I didn't know
you were working today.
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183. I'm not. This is
my only clean shirt.
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184. Then why are you wearing the hat?
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185. I don't wanna look stupid.
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186. Oh, it's up.
They've posted the winning video.
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187. Oh, I can't look.
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188. Okay, tell me we won.
Tell me we won.
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189. Why aren't you telling me we won?
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190. - Because we lost.
- What? I don't believe it.
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191. What video could possibly
be better than ours?
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192. How much do I love the gurgles?
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193. Now at this point
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194. a jerk might say
"I told you so."
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195. I told you so!
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196. So now what are we gonna do?
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197. Go downtown to the piedmont hotel
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198. where the gurgles are staying
and beg them for tickets?
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199. How do you know where they're staying?
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200. It was on the "all things gurgles" website.
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201. Am I the only one who reads that?
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202. Yes yes, because you're their only fan
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203. that can actually read.
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204. So you're just gonna knock on their door
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205. and they're gonna let you in?
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206. They will if we're delivering
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207. a delicious bucket of chicken.
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208. - Or that stuff you deliver.
- Great! Let's go.
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209. Wait a minute.
How are you gonna know
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210. - what room they're in?
- 423.
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211. I'm an "all things gurgles"
premium subscriber.
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212. You make a simple rule.
You expect people to follow it.
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213. Gabe, she's two.
She can't hold it.
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214. - ( Toilet flushes )
- Can we turn around now?
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215. Actually, give me a second.
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216. Unbelievable.
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217. All right, would you please
just finish the story?
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218. You still haven't told us
how you got arrested.
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219. All right, so we went down to the hotel.
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220. Yeah, this is stan in 423.
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221. I can't find my remote control.
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222. No, I'm not sitting on it again.
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223. Never mind.
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224. - ( Knocking at door )
- It's open.
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225. I can't believe it. It's you!
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226. You're the circle!
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227. You want me to sign something...
Five bucks.
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228. You want it in sparkly pen, it's 10 bucks.
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229. No no, we're not here for autographs.
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230. We want to ask about concert tickets.
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231. - And we brought chicken.
- Huh?
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232. Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute.
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233. The other gurgles put you up to this?
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234. Are they testing me to see
if I'll stay on my diet?
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235. Testing you?
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236. Don't all the shapes love each other
and help each other out?
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237. - Yeah yeah, that's it.
- Here you go.
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238. - So do you have any tickets?
- No. You have any sides?
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239. No ticky, no chicky.
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240. P.J., come on, let's go
find a more helpful shape.
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241. I'll catch up with you.
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242. Listen, circ.
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243. - Heh, can I call you circ?
- No.
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244. Uh, well, the thing is I am a musician
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245. and I wrote a song that is
perfect for the gurgles.
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246. - You wanna hear it?
- No no no, thanks.
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247. Triangle writes all our songs
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248. 'cause he's a genius.
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249. This will only take a minute,
only take a minute.
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250. This is a song...
This is a song I wrote
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251. after I skinned my knee.
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252. you wanna hear another one?
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253. No. Look, kid, I just
want to be left alone
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254. and watch tv, okay?
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255. Aw, nuts.
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256. Okay, I'll be back in a little while.
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257. - Where are you going?
- Taking the horse for a drive.
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258. I like to see people's faces
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259. when he sticks his tiny head
out the window.
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260. Oh! Bob, get out here!
The horse is gone.
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261. We've been rustled? Dag nabbit!
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262. Are you sure you wanna do this?
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263. I don't like the idea
of sneaking into a concert,
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264. but there's no way
I'm gonna let Charlie down.
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265. And besides, what's the worst
that could happen?
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266. It's not like they're gonna
throw us in jail.
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267. Okay, stop laughing.
It's time to get sad.
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268. Think of something really sad.
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269. Okay. Oh, that's good.
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270. - Thinking of hey there, poochy?
- Howdy puppy.
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271. - Next.
- Hi.
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272. - Ticket, please.
- Um, quick story.
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273. - It's actually pretty sad.
- Let me guess.
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274. You're trying to get tickets
for your baby sister
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275. who's the biggest gurgles fan
in the whole world
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276. and they were sold out,
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277. and now you want me
to just let you guys in?
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278. It's even sadder when you say it.
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279. And here's the saddest thing of all.
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280. Next!
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281. Time to kick it up a notch.
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282. - Ready?
- Ready.
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283. Oh oh oh!
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284. Help help!
That boy just collapsed!
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285. It's okay. I'm a doctor.
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286. - I know mouth to mouth.
- All better.
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287. Hi, I'm Bob...
Bob's bugs be gone.
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288. I'm here about the fire ant
problem backstage.
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289. Exterminators, huh?
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290. Why do you have a baby with you?
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291. She's an intern.
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292. - You really think I'm that stupid?
- No.
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293. - Hey, look over there.
- What?
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294. Hey!
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295. Can I help you?
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296. - Animal control.
- Good.
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297. What happened to your face?
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298. Chipmunks are only cute in cartoons, ma'am.
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299. Is this your horse?
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300. - Yes. You found him!
- Hey!
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301. Oh my gosh, we've been worried sick.
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302. - Where is he?
- Not so fast.
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303. I'm afraid this animal is stolen proper.
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304. What? We didn't steal it.
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305. My husband rented it for our
daughter's birthday party.
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306. Just show me the rental agreement,
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307. we can clear this right up.
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308. I haven't got a rental agreement.
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309. I got a sweaty handshake
and he took off in his dark van.
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310. Seemed okay to me.
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311. Then I'm afraid we have a problem.
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312. No no no, hon.
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313. Here's your rental agreement.
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314. Honey, I told you I didn't get one.
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315. Oh no, it's right here.
Yeah yeah.
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316. As a matter of fact,
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317. he has two rental agreements.
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318. Are you trying to bribe me, ma'am?
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319. We also have cake.
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320. So that's how we got here,
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321. which only leaves P.J.
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322. How did you get here?
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323. Oh, cute story, actually.
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324. So it was after the concert.
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325. I can't believe I went to Yale.
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326. Now I'm a gurgle.
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327. that's great, kid.
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328. Oh, you like that one?
I've got plenty of others...
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329. One about talking eyes,
one about talking knees...
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330. Yeah, do you happen to have
a song about security guards?
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331. That's not a good idea for a song.
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332. Oh.
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333. so I was busted for harassing a gurgle
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334. and stripped of my membership
from the fan club.
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335. Okay, Duncans, you're free to go.
You've been bailed out.
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336. - Bailed out?
- By who?
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337. Gurgle circle.
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338. Yeah yeah, biggest moment of your life.
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339. But why did you bail us out?
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340. Well, I played "pick a scab"
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341. for the other gurgles and they loved it.
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342. - I sold a song?
- No, i sold a song.
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343. You got bailed out.
Welcome to showbiz, kid.
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344. You know, I'm gonna miss this place.
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345. Oh, don't worry, you'll be back.
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346. Well, Charlie, your second birthday
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347. turned out to be pretty memorable...
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348. More memorable than my second
birthday, that's for sure.
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349. Still too soon.
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350. Anyways, you never did get to
see the gurgles in concert,
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351. but that's okay because you
have a new favorite show.
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352. Ooh, "the buttercups!"
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353. But if you ever wanna see
the buttercups in concert,
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354. good luck, Charlie.
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355. Shh! This is a new one.
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356. Hey, dad, do you mind if I take
Charlie out for a spin?
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357. Ooh, sorry, Gabe.
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358. We don't have the horse anymore.
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359. But we do have the cart.
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360. Faster!
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361. Okay, say "Cheese."
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362. Giddy up.
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363. Wow. You guys were gone a long time.
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364. Really? Seems like 30 seconds.
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365. Oh! Did you see anything interesting?
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366. No, just a bunch of credits.
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