1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - ANOTHER PAIR
OF JACKIE'S KHAKISCopy !req
15. FROM MY OWN PERSONAL SWEATSHOP.Copy !req
16. - STARTING CONSTRUCTION.Copy !req
17. - ZIPPER WORKS.Copy !req
18. - NICE BUTT CLEAVAGE.Copy !req
19. JACKIE, I'M JUST
PANTS INSPECTOR 38,Copy !req
20. NOT A PANTS EXPERT.Copy !req
21. BUT YOU HAVE
AN INVENTORY PROBLEM.Copy !req
22. - I KNOW.Copy !req
23. IT'S SO HARD GETTING
THE WORD OUT ABOUT THESE PANTS.Copy !req
24. I ALREADY BOUGHT THE LONGEST
TV AD I COULD AFFORD.Copy !req
25. BUY JACKIE'S KHAK—Copy !req
26. - ATTENTION HEMORRHOIDS
SUFFERERS!Copy !req
27. - WELL, SALES OR NOT,
THESE ARE GREAT PANTS,Copy !req
28. AND I REALLY—Copy !req
29. I SMELL BURNT TOAST.Copy !req
30. THAT'S A SIGN OF A STROKE.Copy !req
31. OH, NO, CALL A DOCTOR!Copy !req
32. TELL HIM I ALSO SMELL
OLD YOGURT, AN EMPTY JELLY JAR,Copy !req
33. AND EGGSHELLS COVERED
WITH COFFEE GROUNDS.Copy !req
34. - YOU'RE NOT HAVING A STROKE.Copy !req
35. THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE A DUMP.Copy !req
36. CONOR HASN'T EMPTIED
THE GARBAGE IN WEEKS.Copy !req
37. - CONOR, WE ALL HAVE CHORES
IN THIS RV.Copy !req
38. MINE IS DRIVING AND RETELLING
JOKES FROM LATE-NIGHT TV.Copy !req
39. YOURS IS TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE.Copy !req
40. - IT'S NOT FULL YET.Copy !req
41. - NOT FULL?
LOOK AT IT.Copy !req
42. - I MEANT THE RV.Copy !req
43. - CONOR, IF YOU WANT
TO SUCCEED IN LIFE,Copy !req
44. YOU NEED TO ESTABLISH
A WORK ETHIC NOW.Copy !req
45. - YEAH, BY THE TIME DONALD TRUMP
WAS YOUR AGE,Copy !req
46. HE'D BOUGHT AND SOLD
THREE LITTLE LEAGUE TEAMS.Copy !req
47. - AND TRADED IN HIS SEVENTH
GRADE GIRLFRIENDCopy !req
48. FOR A SIXTH GRADE
TROPHY GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
49. - THE GIRLS AND DONALD TRUMP
ARE RIGHT.Copy !req
50. NO ONE'S GONNA PAY YOU
TO LIE AROUND ALL DAY.Copy !req
51. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO DO
FOR A LIVING?Copy !req
52. - PROFESSIONAL VIDEO GAMER.Copy !req
53. - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.Copy !req
54. YOU JUST LOST TO CANINE'S TAIL.Copy !req
55. - DARN IT.Copy !req
56. LET'S DO IT AGAIN, TAIL.Copy !req
57. - WHY CAN'T CONOR HAVE
YOUR STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS?Copy !req
58. - WELL, THAT'S VERY SWEET.Copy !req
59. - I MEAN,
NOTHING SLOWS YOU DOWN,Copy !req
60. NOT FAILURE, COMMON SENSE,Copy !req
61. KNOWING YOU'RE THROWING
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.Copy !req
62. I SALUTE YOU.Copy !req
63. - LOOK AT THIS AD
FOR FREDERIK JEANS.Copy !req
64. THIS IS APPALLING.Copy !req
65. IT SHOULD BE MY PANTS
IN THAT FILTHY BATHROOM.Copy !req
66. - YOU KNOW, I MAY BE ABLE
TO HELP.Copy !req
67. I DIDN'T WANT
TO MENTION IT BEFORE,Copy !req
68. BUT I HAVE A FASHION CONTACT,
SOMEBODY HUGE.Copy !req
69. - YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO MENTION IT BEFORE?Copy !req
70. - I WAS WORRIED THAT YOU'D THINK
I WAS A NAME-DROPPER.Copy !req
71. YOU KNOW, IN MANY WAYS
WE'RE STILLCopy !req
72. JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER.Copy !req
73. - WELL, WHO IS IT?
RALPH LAUREN?Copy !req
74. HUGO BOSS?
HUGO BOSS'S BOSS?Copy !req
75. - EVEN BIGGER.Copy !req
76. - THESE ARE NO GOOD.Copy !req
77. THEY'RE SCRATCHY
AND NOT ABSORBENT.Copy !req
78. SEE?Copy !req
79. - THIS IS YOUR BIG CONTACT?Copy !req
80. - ACTUALLY,
I SAID "BIB CONTACT."Copy !req
81. MAURY, WHAT IF JACKIE WERE TO
TAKE THESE LOUSY BIBS OF HERSCopy !req
82. AND TRY TO TURN THEM INTO PANTS?Copy !req
83. ANY ADVICE?Copy !req
84. - ASSUMING THE PANTS GAME
IS LIKE THE DENTAL BIB GAME,Copy !req
85. AND I HAVE NO REASON
TO THINK IT ISN'T,Copy !req
86. IT'S ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW.Copy !req
87. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
88. - LADY, NO MATTER HOW GOOD
YOUR PRODUCT IS,Copy !req
89. UNLESS YOU HAVE AN IN,Copy !req
90. YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
IN THIS BUSINESS.Copy !req
91. - HEY, MAURY, SINCE WE'RE HERE,Copy !req
92. CAN YOU GIVE US A PREVIEW
OF THE FALL LINE?Copy !req
93. - I SHOULDN'T, BUT...Copy !req
94. IT'S LIGHT, LIGHT BLUE.Copy !req
95. I LIGHTENED THE LIGHT BLUE.Copy !req
96. - OOH!Copy !req
97. - MAURY WAS RIGHT
ABOUT ONE THING.Copy !req
98. IT'S ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW.Copy !req
99. I NEED TO GET TO NEW YORK.Copy !req
100. I'LL SHOW MY STUFF
TO FREDERIK HIMSELF.Copy !req
101. HE'LL BE WHO I KNOW.Copy !req
102. - SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.Copy !req
103. KIDS, WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK,
NEW YORK.Copy !req
104. - WAIT, ARE WE GOING
TO NEW YORK CITY,Copy !req
105. OR NEW YORK, NEW YORK,
THE VEGAS CASINO?Copy !req
106. - THE CASINO, SILLY.Copy !req
107. - GLENN.Copy !req
108. - THE CITY, SILLY.Copy !req
109. - MY HEAD IS TURNED
THE WRONG WAY.Copy !req
110. CAN SOMEONE DESCRIBE NEW YORK
TO ME?Copy !req
111. - OH, LOOK,
THERE'S TIMES SQUARE.Copy !req
112. - AND THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
- FORGET THAT.Copy !req
113. THERE'S THE FOUNTAIN
FROM FRIENDSCopy !req
114. AND THE DINER FROM SEINFELD.Copy !req
115. THAT'S THE NEW YORK
YOU DON'T SEE ON TV.Copy !req
116. AH, AND UP AHEAD,
THE MIGHTY HUDSON RIVER,Copy !req
117. WHERE CAPTAIN "SULLY"
SULLENBERGERCopy !req
118. SAFELY LANDED
A CRIPPLED JETLINER.Copy !req
119. THAT DAY HE BECAME
AMERICA'S HERO.Copy !req
120. GOOD OLD SULLY.Copy !req
121. THEY DON'T MAKE THEM—Copy !req
122. - GLENN!Copy !req
123. THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.Copy !req
124. WINDOWS UP, I GOT TO
PUT THIS BIRD DOWN IN THE RIVER.Copy !req
125. - ARE WE ALIVE?Copy !req
126. - IT'S HARD TO TELL,Copy !req
127. BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY
HOW I PICTURE HEAVEN.Copy !req
128. - GLENN, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?Copy !req
129. - PLEASE REMAIN SEATED UNTIL WE
HAVE COME TO A COMPLETE STOPCopy !req
130. ON THE RIVER BOTTOM.Copy !req
131. - ALL RIGHT, PULL IT UP.Copy !req
132. MOVE IT OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
133. - WOW, I SAVED OUR LIVES.Copy !req
134. HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE MARRIED
TO A HERO?Copy !req
135. - UGH, I'M GOING TO SEE
FREDERIK.Copy !req
136. WHILE I'M GONE, TRY TO GET
ALL THE FISH OUT OF THE RV.Copy !req
137. NO PROBLEM THERE.Copy !req
138. THE HUDSON IS FAR TOO TOXIC
TO SUPPORT LIFE.Copy !req
139. OOH, LOOKS LIKE THIS POOR
SWIMMER DIEDCopy !req
140. OF A FOOT INFECTION.Copy !req
141. - SINCE MOM'S GONNA SEE
HER IDOL,Copy !req
142. WE SHOULD GO SEE OURS.Copy !req
143. - SO WHERE DO YOU THINK
WE'LL FIND TRUMP?Copy !req
144. TRUMP TOWER, TRUMP PLAZA,
ST. TRUMP'S CATHEDRAL?Copy !req
145. - I'M JUST GONNA GO INSIDE
AND WATCH THE CARPET DRY.Copy !req
146. - NO WAY, LAZYBONES.Copy !req
147. YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.Copy !req
148. IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED
WHAT IT TAKESCopy !req
149. TO MAKE IT IN THE REAL WORLD.Copy !req
150. - YEAH, IT WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU
TO SEE SOMEONE WITH A DREAMCopy !req
151. POUNDING THEIR HEAD
INTO THE WALL.Copy !req
152. - THANK YOU, GLENN.Copy !req
153. - THERE HE IS.Copy !req
154. - THANK YOU, JANE GOMEZ
YAMAGUCHI.Copy !req
155. I'M WITH THE MAN THAT DROVE
HIS RV HERE INTO THE HUDSON.Copy !req
156. - "HERO OF THE HUDSON"?Copy !req
157. WOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON
TO CALL ME THAT.Copy !req
158. BUT I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION
YOU WON'T BE THE LAST.Copy !req
159. - HELLO, I'M JACKIE MARTIN.Copy !req
160. I'M HERE TO SEE FREDERIK.Copy !req
161. - DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?Copy !req
162. - NO, BUT I TWITTERED AHEAD.Copy !req
163. - YOU ARE NOT SEEING FREDERIK.Copy !req
164. - THANK YOU.Copy !req
165. - SHE SAID WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT.Copy !req
166. HE'S RUNNING A LITTLE BEHIND.Copy !req
167. - MAYBE YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.Copy !req
168. THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE
GOING TO SEE FREDERIK.Copy !req
169. - YOU'RE SO SWEET.Copy !req
170. SHE ASKED IF WE WANTED WATER.Copy !req
171. I TOLD HER WE PACKED
JUICE BOXES.Copy !req
172. HARD BOILED EGG?Copy !req
173. - ORDINARILY, I DON'T GRANT
INTERVIEWS TO MEDIA OUTLETSCopy !req
174. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF.Copy !req
175. WHAT'S THE NAME
OF YOUR PUBLICATION AGAIN?Copy !req
176. - THE MARTIN FAMILY
POST GAZETTE.Copy !req
177. - FIRE AWAY.Copy !req
178. - MR. TRUMP, WHAT MAKES YOU
SUCCEEDCopy !req
179. AT EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH?Copy !req
180. - IT'S ALL UP HERE.Copy !req
181. THAT'S HOW I CAME UP
WITH TRUMP WATER,Copy !req
182. THESE TRUMP BAGEL CHIPS,Copy !req
183. AND OF COURSE, TRUMP AIR.Copy !req
184. - MMM, SMELLS LIKE THE FLOOR
OF A CASINO.Copy !req
185. - SORRY, LADIES.Copy !req
186. I HAVE TO DRESS
FOR THE TRUMP FOUNDATION'SCopy !req
187. MAN OF THE YEAR DINNER.Copy !req
188. I WON AGAIN.Copy !req
189. - WOW, HE WAS SO DOWN TO EARTH.Copy !req
190. - BEFORE WE LEAVE,Copy !req
191. I'VE GOT TO GET ONE LAST
LUNGFULL OF TRUMP AIR.Copy !req
192. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
193. IT'S—
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
194. - FREDERIK, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THIS?Copy !req
195. - YOU CALL THAT A JUMPSUIT?Copy !req
196. I CALL IT
A JUMP-TO-YOUR-DEATH SUIT.Copy !req
197. - TOODLE-OOO.Copy !req
198. - UH, EXCUSE ME, FREDERIK.Copy !req
199. I KNOW YOU'RE FAMOUS,
AND I'M NOBODY,Copy !req
200. BUT IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME
YOUR HONEST OPINIONCopy !req
201. ABOUT MY DESIGNS?Copy !req
202. - OH, FABULOUS.Copy !req
203. - YOU REALLY LIKE MY PANTS?Copy !req
204. - NO, THAT BOY OVER THERE.Copy !req
205. HIS CODFISH COMPLEXION,
HIS NOODLY POSTURE.Copy !req
206. - FABULOUS!Copy !req
207. - CONOR?Copy !req
208. - THANK YOU, JANE GOMEZ—Copy !req
209. - HEY, LOOK, I'M ON TV.Copy !req
210. - SO YOU COST THE CITY
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARSCopy !req
211. TO SAVE A RAT'S LIFE.Copy !req
212. - NOT JUST ONE LIFE, FRANK.Copy !req
213. IN A MONTH THAT RAT
WILL HAVE MULTIPLIEDCopy !req
214. INTO THOUSANDS OF RATSCopy !req
215. ALL TEEMING
IN THE STREETS OF NEW YORK,Copy !req
216. BECAUSE OF ME.Copy !req
217. - AND THAT MAKES YOU,
GLENN MARTIN,Copy !req
218. CHANNEL FIVE'S DOLT OF THE DAY.Copy !req
219. - WHAT?Copy !req
220. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T COUNT TOWARD
MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME.Copy !req
221. - GREAT NEWS, GLENN;
TODAY I MADE A CONNECTIONCopy !req
222. WITH SOMEONE
IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY.Copy !req
223. - WHO?
- CONOR.Copy !req
224. HE'S GOING TO BE A MALE MODEL.Copy !req
225. - YOU WERE SO WRONG, DAD.Copy !req
226. SOMEBODY IS GONNA PAY ME
TO LIE AROUND ALL DAY.Copy !req
227. - YOU KNOW,
I'M STARTING TO THINKCopy !req
228. DRIVING THE RV INTO THE HUDSON
WASN'T A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.Copy !req
229. - OKAY, CONOR, LOOK BORED.Copy !req
230. NOW APATHETIC.Copy !req
231. - CONOR, A MODEL?Copy !req
232. - NICE, NICE, NOW BACK TO BORED.Copy !req
233. LOVE IT.Copy !req
234. - SURE, I THINK HE'S ATTRACTIVE.Copy !req
235. I WOULDN'T CHANGE A HAIR ON HIS
HEAD OR BETWEEN HIS EYEBROWS.Copy !req
236. HOWEVER—
- IT'S CALLED GEEK CHIC.Copy !req
237. MUSCLES, TANS,
AND NORMAL PROPORTIONS ARE OUT.Copy !req
238. PALE, GANGLY,
AND UNDERFED ARE IN.Copy !req
239. - AND TO THINK I USED TO BE
ASHAMED OF MY INVERTED NIPPLES.Copy !req
240. - BEST OF ALL, FREDERIK HAS
AGREED TO MENTOR ME.Copy !req
241. I'LL HAVE ROUND-THE-CLOCK ACCESS
TO HIS DESIGN SAVVYCopy !req
242. AND COSMOPOLITAN PUT-DOWNS.Copy !req
243. - FINE, BUT CONOR'S MODELING IS
NOT GOING TO INTERFERECopy !req
244. WITH HIS HOUSEHOLD
RESPONSIBILITIES.Copy !req
245. SON, SQUEEZE THE HUDSON RIVER
WATER OUT OF THIS BREADCopy !req
246. SO YOUR MOM CAN MAKE SANDWICHES.Copy !req
247. - LOVE TO, DAD,Copy !req
248. BUT FREDERIK DOESN'T WANT ME
TO DEVELOP ANY MUSCLE TONE.Copy !req
249. - JACKIE, HE'S GETTING
WORSE ALREADY.Copy !req
250. - TRUST ME, GLENN.Copy !req
251. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT
OUR BOY NEEDS TO GROW UP.Copy !req
252. - MOM, CAN YOU CARRY ME
TO THE BATHROOM?Copy !req
253. - SURE, HONEY.Copy !req
254. - AND SQUEEZE DOWN
ON MY ABDOMEN?Copy !req
255. - ABSOLUTELY, DEAR.Copy !req
256. - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STOLE
TRUMP'S WIG.Copy !req
257. - BUSINESS PEOPLE
HAVE TO SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES.Copy !req
258. TRUMP SAID THE SECRET OF HIS
SUCCESS WAS UP HERE.Copy !req
259. - MR. TRUMP'S BUSINESS ACUMENCopy !req
260. HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS
HYBRID OF EXPERIMENTAL PLASTICSCopy !req
261. AND CHINCHILLA FUR.Copy !req
262. - I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.Copy !req
263. YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
264. I DON'T FEEL ANY TRUMPIER.Copy !req
265. I'LL CALL AND APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
266. HUH?Copy !req
267. - WOW, THAT WIG MAKES THINGS
TURN TO GOLD.Copy !req
268. - HUH.Copy !req
269. LET'S TRY THIS OUT.Copy !req
270. SHOULD HAVE TOUCHED
THE DESK FIRST.Copy !req
271. - I WANT HIS FACE WHITER
AND HIS TEETH YELLOWER.Copy !req
272. - FREDERIK, I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT MY NEW DIRECTION.Copy !req
273. COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK?Copy !req
274. - OUCH! I'D HATE TO BE THE
POTATO THAT CAME IN THAT SACK.Copy !req
275. IT HANGS TERRIBLY.Copy !req
276. IT'S THE COLOR OF VOMIT.Copy !req
277. AND EVEN A KANGAROO WOULD SAY
ITS POCKETS ARE TOO BIG.Copy !req
278. AND YET...Copy !req
279. - YES?Copy !req
280. - I'VE SEEN WORSE, JACKIE.Copy !req
281. KEEP IT UP, GIRLFRIEND.Copy !req
282. - YES!Copy !req
283. - HEY, SLEEPYHEADS.Copy !req
284. GLAD YOU FINALLY
JOINED THE LIVING.Copy !req
285. MEET THE NEW BLOOD.Copy !req
286. - UGH, FREDERIK,
DON'T WASTE OUR TIME.Copy !req
287. - LOOK AT THOSE BICEPS.Copy !req
288. IS THIS A FASHION SHOOT
OR MUSCLE BEACH?Copy !req
289. - HERCULES HERE SHOULD BE
IN A MILK AD.Copy !req
290. - STOP BULLYING.Copy !req
291. I'M JUST AS STOOP-SHOULDERED
AS YOU.Copy !req
292. - SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'VE GOT,
CONOR.Copy !req
293. GIVE ME LESS, CONOR.Copy !req
294. GIVE ME LESS.Copy !req
295. YOU'RE A SLINKY.Copy !req
296. YOU'RE A WORM.Copy !req
297. THE CAMERA HATES YOU.Copy !req
298. OH, YOU'RE A NATURAL.Copy !req
299. COOL.Copy !req
300. - YOU THE OWNER OF THIS VEHICLE?Copy !req
301. I HAVE A CITATION FROM THE CITY.Copy !req
302. - OH, A CITATION.Copy !req
303. FINALLY SOME RECOGNITION
FOR MY HEROISM.Copy !req
304. - NO, YOU PARKED
IN A TOW-AWAY ZONE.Copy !req
305. HEY, YOU'RE THE DOLT OF THE DAY.Copy !req
306. - THAT'S ME.Copy !req
307. - MY THREE-YEAR-OLD THINKS
YOU'RE A REAL PUTZ.Copy !req
308. - WELL, I THINK YOUR
THREE-YEAR-OLD'S A REAL PUTZ.Copy !req
309. AND I'M STILL KEEPING
THIS CITATION.Copy !req
310. - MORNING.
TIME FOR BED.Copy !req
311. - CONOR, HAVE YOU BEEN
OUT ALL NIGHT?Copy !req
312. - NOT NOW, GLENN.Copy !req
313. HE'S EXHAUSTED.Copy !req
314. DADDY WILL CARRY YOU TO BED,
SWEETIE.Copy !req
315. - I KNEW NOTHING GOOD WOULD
COME FROM MODELING.Copy !req
316. SURE, EVERYBODY LOVES YOU WHEN
YOU'RE THE SHINY NEW THING,Copy !req
317. BUT AFTER YOU GET
A LITTLE TARNISHED,Copy !req
318. THEY THROW YOU
IN THE SCRAP HEAP.Copy !req
319. LOOK AT REBECCA ROMIJN.Copy !req
320. SHE WENT FROM JOHN STAMOS
TO JERRY O'CONNELL.Copy !req
321. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT
FOR OUR SON, JERRY O'CONNELL?Copy !req
322. - UGH!Copy !req
323. - OH, YOU'RE FRIGHTENING HIM,
GLENN.Copy !req
324. - HE NEEDS TO BE FRIGHTENED.Copy !req
325. I DON'T LIKE THE FAST WORLD
HE'S CAUGHT UP IN.Copy !req
326. - CONOR IS STILL THE SAME SWEET
INNOCENT HE'S ALWAYS BEEN.Copy !req
327. - YEAH, DAD, CHILL.Copy !req
328. HOW MUCH TO MAKE YOUR WHOLE
BUMMER ATTITUDE GO AWAY?Copy !req
329. $100, $200?Copy !req
330. - UNACCEPTABLE;
I'M GROUNDING YOU.Copy !req
331. - AND I'M UNGROUNDING YOU.Copy !req
332. GLENN, YOU MIGHT BE
CONOR'S FATHER,Copy !req
333. BUT FREDERIK IS CONOR'S
FATHER FIGURE.Copy !req
334. YOU HAVE TO SHARE.Copy !req
335. - WHEN THE DOLT OF THE DAY IS
THE VOICE OF REASON AROUND HERE,Copy !req
336. WE SHOULD ALL BE VERY WORRIED.Copy !req
337. GOLD FISH.Copy !req
338. - COME ON!Copy !req
339. IT'S MY TURN TO TURN THINGS
INTO GOLD.Copy !req
340. - I'M NOT SATISFIED YET.Copy !req
341. I WANT TO DO SOMETHING
REALLY BIG.Copy !req
342. GIVE ME A HUG.Copy !req
343. YOU EVIL LITTLE—Copy !req
344. - DONALD TRUMP SPORTS A NEW
HAIRSTYLECopy !req
345. AND A NEW MOOD TO MATCH.Copy !req
346. - I FEEL LIKE A GIANT WEIGHT'S
BEEN LIFTED.Copy !req
347. AFTER YEARS OF TAKING,
I ONLY WANT TO GIVE.Copy !req
348. IVANA, CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE
A BALD OLD FOOLCopy !req
349. FOR FAILING TO SEE
A MIDDLE-AGED BEAUTY?Copy !req
350. - IT MUST BE THE WIG.Copy !req
351. THE WIG IS EVIL.Copy !req
352. - YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
353. WE SHOULD ONLY WEAR IT
ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS.Copy !req
354. THANK YOU.Copy !req
355. - I'M SO MAD AT MY DAD.Copy !req
356. HE THINKS MODELING IS EASY.Copy !req
357. HIS JOB DOESN'T
GIVE HIM BEDSORES.Copy !req
358. HEY, HOW COME I DON'T SEE
YOUR GUYS' REFLECTIONS?Copy !req
359. - UM, WE TRY TO SAVE IT
FOR THE CAMERA?Copy !req
360. - EXCUSE ME, FREDERIK BOYS.Copy !req
361. I'M SUCH A FAN.Copy !req
362. THESE FLOWERS ARE FOR YOU.Copy !req
363. - SO YOU'LL CALL ME, RIGHT?Copy !req
364. - HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?Copy !req
365. - I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE
FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW, DUDE.Copy !req
366. WE'RE VAMPIRES.Copy !req
367. - WOW, YOU MODEL
AND REFEREE BASEBALL GAMES?Copy !req
368. - THAT WOULD BE UMPIRES.Copy !req
369. WE'RE EVEN MORE REVILED.Copy !req
370. WE'RE VAMPIRES,
THE UNDEAD.Copy !req
371. - IT'S AWESOME, MAN.Copy !req
372. YOU LIVE FOREVER.Copy !req
373. - AND YOU GET TO DRINK AT MUCH
SQUIRREL BLOOD AS YOU WANT.Copy !req
374. - AND SOON YOU'LL BE
A VAMPIRE TOO.Copy !req
375. - AT THE END OF YOUR FIRST
RUNWAY SHOWCopy !req
376. FREDERIK BITES YOU ON THE NECK.Copy !req
377. THEN YOU'RE ONE OF US FOREVER.Copy !req
378. - IT'S EVERY BOY'S
DREAM COME TRUE.Copy !req
379. NO MORE PARENTS,
NO MORE NAGGING,Copy !req
380. NO MORE CHORES FOR ETERNITY.Copy !req
381. - YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK MY
FOLKS WILL BE COOLCopy !req
382. WITH ME FEEDING OFF THE BLOOD
OF THE LIVING.Copy !req
383. THEY DON'T EVEN LET ME
HAVE SODA PAST 6:00.Copy !req
384. - ONCE BITTEN, YOU'LL NEVER SEE
YOUR PARENTS AGAIN.Copy !req
385. - OH, IN THAT CASE—Copy !req
386. WHAT?Copy !req
387. SO THEY'RE NOT UMPIRES,
BUT THEY ARE BAT BOYS.Copy !req
388. - OKAY, HERE'S MY NEW DESIGN.Copy !req
389. LAY INTO IT.Copy !req
390. - THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD.Copy !req
391. - YOU KNOW, I AM SO SICK
OF YOUR PISSY PUT-DOWNS.Copy !req
392. SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?Copy !req
393. - THESE PANTS TELL A DESIGN
STORY I WANT TO HEAR.Copy !req
394. YOU'VE JUST WON YOURSELF
A SPOT IN MY NEW SHOW.Copy !req
395. - THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU!Copy !req
396. - THE PLEASURE WILL BE ALL MINE.Copy !req
397. - WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TURN
THIS STUPID SHOVEL INTO GOLD?Copy !req
398. - THE IMPORTANT THINGCopy !req
399. IS THAT WE GET THIS HORRIBLE WIG
OUT OF OUR LIVESCopy !req
400. ONCE AND FOR ALL.Copy !req
401. - I DON'T KNOW HOW HE EVER
PUT THAT AWFUL THING ON HIS HEADCopy !req
402. IN THE FIRST PLACE.Copy !req
403. - THERE, THAT'S THE LAST PIN.Copy !req
404. - OW, MY SCROTUM!Copy !req
405. - PLUS OR MINUS A COUPLE.Copy !req
406. - MOM, I'M THINKING MAYBECopy !req
407. I DON'T WANT TO BE
A MODEL ANYMORE.Copy !req
408. THOSE PEOPLE ARE ALL VAMPIRES.Copy !req
409. - WELL, THAT'S THE BIZ, HONEY.Copy !req
410. - NO, I MEAN
THEY'RE BLOODSUCKERS.Copy !req
411. - UH-HUH, GREAT ANALOGY.Copy !req
412. LET'S NOT WEAR IT OUT.Copy !req
413. - BUT—
- CONOR.Copy !req
414. THIS RUNWAY SHOW IS IMPORTANT
TO BOTH OF US.Copy !req
415. YOU FOUND A CAREER,
AND I FOUND A PURPOSE.Copy !req
416. ISN'T THAT ALL WE EVER WANTED?Copy !req
417. - YEAH, BUT—Copy !req
418. - I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE
TO SAY THIS, DEAR,Copy !req
419. BUT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.Copy !req
420. - I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, MOM.Copy !req
421. - THAT'S MY BOY.Copy !req
422. - MAYBE BEING A VAMPIRE
WON'T BE THAT BAD.Copy !req
423. OW!Copy !req
424. MM, COULD USE A LITTLE
LEMON JUICE.Copy !req
425. - SHE'S SO GORGEOUS.Copy !req
426. - ABSOLUTE FEMALE PERFECTION.Copy !req
427. - ACHOO!Copy !req
428. - MAYBE A LITTLE TOO SKINNY.Copy !req
429. - IT'S SO GREAT TO FINALLY BE
FREE OF TRUMP'S EVIL WIG.Copy !req
430. - OH, LOOK,
SOMEONE'S LITTLE DOGGY.Copy !req
431. - APPLE MARTINI, SIR?Copy !req
432. - MARTINI, HUH?Copy !req
433. THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE NAMED
AFTER GLENN MARTIN,Copy !req
434. HERO OF THE HUDSON?Copy !req
435. - NO, SIR.
STOP ASKING.Copy !req
436. NONE OF THE MARTINIS
ARE NAMED AFTER YOU.Copy !req
437. - REMEMBER, ON THE RUNWAY
IT'S HEAD HIGH AND HIPS OUT.Copy !req
438. THEN WORK IT, WORK IT,
TURN AND WORK IT SOME MORE.Copy !req
439. I BITE YOUR NECK,
YOU'RE UNDEAD,Copy !req
440. AND THEN IT'S COFFIN SHOPPING
IN MILAN.Copy !req
441. - WELL, AS LONG
AS MY MOM'S HAPPY.Copy !req
442. - OH, I'M SO NERVOUS I JUST
THREW UP ON A MODEL.Copy !req
443. FORTUNATELY IT BLENDED IN
WITH SOME EARLIER VOMIT.Copy !req
444. - WOW, MY LIFE IS ABOUT
TO CHANGE FOREVER.Copy !req
445. - ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?Copy !req
446. AFTER THE SHOW LET'S CELEBRATE.Copy !req
447. YOUR FAVORITE MEAL,
SPAGHETTI AND GARLIC BREAD.Copy !req
448. GARLIC?Copy !req
449. - BREAD?Copy !req
450. - SORRY, BUT I'M GONNA
HAVE TO PASS.Copy !req
451. AFTER THE SHOW ALL US MODELS
KIND OF HANG OUT.Copy !req
452. - OH, I UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
453. SURE, I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK,
RIGHT?Copy !req
454. - DON'T YOU HURT MY FRIEND!Copy !req
455. NO, GET BACK ON HER!Copy !req
456. - I BROUGHT YOU HERE, DALI LAMA,Copy !req
457. TO SHOW YOU THE UNHOLY
MATERIALISMCopy !req
458. THAT I HAVE RENOUNCED.Copy !req
459. - MR. TRUMP,
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.Copy !req
460. HE HAVE YOUR WIG.Copy !req
461. - KEEP IT, GIRLS.Copy !req
462. THAT WIG BELONGED
TO THE OLD DONALD TRUMP.Copy !req
463. - IT WANTS TO COME HOME,
MR. TRUMP.Copy !req
464. - I'M SORRY, LITTLE FRIEND.Copy !req
465. BUT I'VE MOVED ON.Copy !req
466. I'VE GROWN.Copy !req
467. - OH, WHAT AM I SAYING?Copy !req
468. I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.Copy !req
469. GET BACK UP HERE
AND WARM MY CRANIUM.Copy !req
470. - OH!Copy !req
471. - HEY, BALDY, YOU OWE ME
TEN BUCKS FOR THE WATER.Copy !req
472. ATTENTION, MODELS.Copy !req
473. I'M GETTING DIVORCED AGAIN.Copy !req
474. - THE UNIVERSE
HAS BEEN CORRECTED.Copy !req
475. - SO IT HAS.Copy !req
476. NOW HELP ME GET THIS THING BACK
TO THE RV.Copy !req
477. - EVERY HIPSTER NEEDS A PAIR
OF JACKIE'S KHAKIS ON HIS HIPS.Copy !req
478. LOOK HOW STYLISH
YOUNG CONOR IS.Copy !req
479. - BRAVO, CONOR.Copy !req
480. AND BRAVA, JACKIE.Copy !req
481. YOU'RE EXCITING WORK TROUSERSCopy !req
482. WILL TURN THE DUNGAREE SEGMENT
ON ITS HEAD.Copy !req
483. - I SHOULD BE HAPPY,
BUT I'M NOT.Copy !req
484. PART OF ME FEELS LIKE
I'M LOSING CONOR.Copy !req
485. - OH, YOU'RE NOT LOSING CONOR.Copy !req
486. ONE BOY FOR ONE CAREER.Copy !req
487. NO TAKE-BACKS.Copy !req
488. - WHAT?
NO, YOU DON'T GET CONOR.Copy !req
489. - ONCE I SINK
MY TEETH INTO HIM,Copy !req
490. HE'LL BE MINE FOREVER.Copy !req
491. AFTER THE SHOW,
THE BOYS AND ICopy !req
492. ARE OFF ON A TOUR OF ROMANIA,
ESTONIA, AND MOLDOVA.Copy !req
493. I ADORE CREEPY CASTLE COUNTRY.Copy !req
494. CONOR, YOUR DESTINY AWAITS.Copy !req
495. - IS THIS GONNA HURT
LIKE A SHOT IN THE ARMCopy !req
496. OR A SHOT IN THE TUSHY?Copy !req
497. - YOU CAN KEEP MY CAREER.Copy !req
498. I'M KEEPING MY SON.Copy !req
499. - YEAH.
OW!Copy !req
500. - FREDERIK,
YOU MIGHT MAKE GREAT CLOTHES,Copy !req
501. BUT YOU DO NOT MAKE
A GREAT PERSON,Copy !req
502. LIVING IN YOUR DARK COCOON,
SEALED AWAY FROM THE REAL WORLD.Copy !req
503. YOU NEED TO TAKE A GOOD
LOOK AT YOURSELFCopy !req
504. IN THE HARSH LIGHT OF DAY.Copy !req
505. - YEAH, MOM.Copy !req
506. OPEN THE CURTAINS.Copy !req
507. - NO, NOT THAT!Copy !req
508. - WHAT?
- HUH?Copy !req
509. - I FRECKLE EASILY.Copy !req
510. - HEY!Copy !req
511. - I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THE CITY
EVEN AWARDED ME A CITATION.Copy !req
512. - GLENN, HELP!Copy !req
513. - IT'S HERO TIME.Copy !req
514. WHOA!Copy !req
515. - PUT ME DOWN!Copy !req
516. - THAT'S WEIRD.Copy !req
517. USUALLY SAYING "PUT ME DOWN"
DOESN'T WORK.Copy !req
518. - HEY, UMPIRES, STRIKE THREE.Copy !req
519. - CONOR,
WE DON'T OFFICIATE BASE—Copy !req
520. poof!Copy !req
521. - WHOA!Copy !req
522. - I'LL GIVE FREDERIK THIS.Copy !req
523. HE'S A SHOWMAN.Copy !req
524. - I SAVED CONOR
FROM A LIFE OF MODELING,Copy !req
525. BUT I FEEL LIKE I FAILED.Copy !req
526. - YOU MAY HAVE FAILED
AS A DESIGNER,Copy !req
527. BUT YOU SUCCEEDED AS A MOTHER.Copy !req
528. ALTHOUGH THAT WASN'T WHAT YOU
WERE SHOOTING FOR,Copy !req
529. SO YEAH, YOU HAVE A POINT.Copy !req
530. - I GUESS I'LL ALWAYS BE
A WANNABE.Copy !req
531. - GET YOUR GENUINE
JACKIE'S KHAKIS, TWO BUCKS.Copy !req
532. I GOT TRANSFORMERS MOVIES,
50¢.Copy !req
533. - OH, MY GOD, GLENN.Copy !req
534. I'VE BEEN COUNTERFEITED.Copy !req
535. WHAT A COMPLIMENT!Copy !req
536. I REALLY DID MAKE IT.Copy !req
537. YOU'RE RIPPING OFF MY WIFE.Copy !req
538. THANK YOU.Copy !req
539. - HEY, COULD SOMEONE TELL CONOR
TO EMPTY THE TRASH?Copy !req
540. - YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME TWICE.Copy !req
541. I LEARNED MY LESSON.Copy !req
542. - ATTA BOY.Copy !req
543. - GLENN, HE'S THROWING TRASH
ON THE STREETS.Copy !req
544. - OH, IT'S NEW YORK.Copy !req
545. THEY WON'T EVEN NOTICE.Copy !req