1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,
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2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.
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3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.
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4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.
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5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—
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6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!
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7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,
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8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—
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9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.
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10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.
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11. AND THERE'S CANINE.
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12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.
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13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?
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14. - AH, NEW ENGLAND.
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15. THE OMINOUS WIND.
THE CREEPY FOG.
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16. - STEPHEN KING
LURKING IN THE SHADOWS.
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17. - DON'T MIND ME.
JUST LURKING IN THE SHADOWS.
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18. AND A LITTLE GRAVE ROBBING.
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19. - HERE WE ARE, STOP FIVE
ON OUR TOUR
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20. OF IMPORTANT-YET-DEAD
MARTIN MEN,
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21. SEA CAPTAIN AUGUSTUS MARTIN.
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22. INTRODUCED TOBACCO TO EUROPE
AND INFLUENZA TO THE NEW WORLD.
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23. - HE CHANGED THE LIVES
OF MILLIONS.
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24. WHAT A HERO.
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25. - HERE'S CORNELIUS MARTIN.
HE FOUGHT PIRATES.
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26. - AND THAT'S BACK WHEN THEY
WERE REAL SWASHBUCKLERS,
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27. NOT THE T-SHIRT-WEARING
SOMALIANS WE HAVE NOW.
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28. - WE'VE SPENT THE LAST WEEK
IN GRAVEYARDS
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29. READING THE TOMBSTONES
OF GREAT MARTIN MEN,
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30. BUT WHAT ABOUT
GREAT MARTIN WOMEN?
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31. - YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE FIRST.
- OH.
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32. - COURTNEY, HONEY, THERE WERE
PLENTY OF GREAT MARTIN WOMEN.
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33. - THANK YOU, GLENN.
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34. - BEHIND EACH OF THESE MEN
WAS A TALENTED WOMAN
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35. DOING HIS LAUNDRY,
MAKING HIS DINNER,
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36. AND PROVIDING "COMFORT,"
WHICH IS SOMETHING, GOD WILLING,
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37. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW ABOUT.
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38. - IT'S OKAY, MOM.
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39. I KNOW THAT, BACK THEN,
WOMEN WERE JUST HOUSEWIVES.
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40. - EXCUSE ME, THOSE WOMEN
DID A LOT MORE THAN THAT.
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41. - SUCH AS?
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42. - WELL—
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43. OH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE
GONNA PUT ME ON THE SPOT.
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44. - AH, LOOKS LIKE STEPHEN KING
IS GETTING GREAT STUFF.
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45. IF I BOTHERED TO READ,
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46. THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF BOOK
I'D BE INTERESTED IN.
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47. AH, NOW THIS IS A WELL-MADE BED,
JACKIE.
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48. YOUR ANCESTORS WOULD BE PROUD.
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49. - OH, FOR COURTNEY'S SAKE,
I HOPE SHE REALIZES
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50. HER "HOUSEWIFE" ANCESTORS WERE
POWERFUL IN THEIR OWN RIGHT.
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51. LIKE ME.
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52. YES, I'M A HOMEMAKER, BUT I'M
ALSO A CLOTHING DESIGNER,
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53. SORT OF,
AND A POET,
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54. ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER
WRITTEN ANYTHING DOWN.
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55. - SOMEONE TOSS ME
A PEN AND PAPER.
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56. - COURTNEY NEEDS TO KNOW
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57. ABOUT THE GREAT WOMEN
IN HER BLOODLINE.
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58. I BET WITH SOME DIGGING,
WE'D FIND THAT ONE
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59. OF THESE HOUSEWIVES WAS ALSO
AN ABOLITIONIST OR A LADY POPE.
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60. THEN COURTNEY WOULD FINALLY FEEL
GOOD ABOUT BEING A HOUSEWIFE.
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61. - NOT TO PLAY
AMATEUR PSYCHOLOGIST,
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62. BUT I THINK EVERY TIME
YOU SAY "COURTNEY,"
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63. DEEP DOWN, YOU'RE REALLY
TALKING ABOUT CONOR.
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64. - YOU WANT TO PLAY
AMATEUR PSYCHOLOGIST?
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65. OKAY, ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU DREAM
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER NAKED, GLENN.
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66. - OKAY, NOW YOU'RE TAKING
A PERFECTLY NORMAL THING
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67. AND MAKING IT SOUND WEIRD.
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68. - WELCOME
TO LINEAGE "N" THINGS.
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69. FAMILY TREES TO THE LEFT.
SHOE TREES TO THE RIGHT.
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70. - THIS IS SO BORING.
WHY ARE WE HERE?
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71. - BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REST UNTIL
YOU FIND OUT ABOUT MY PAST,
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72. AND THIS IS THE BEST
GENEALOGIST IN THE MALL.
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73. - UGH.
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74. - SO LET'S CALL UP
THOSE RESULTS.
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75. NO ONE OF NOTE.
NO ONE OF NOTE.
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76. OH, HERE'S SOMETHING.
- IS IT OF NOTE?
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77. - SEEMS YOU ARE RELATED TO A
FAMOUS WOMAN NAMED GOODY PRICE.
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78. - OOH, GOODY.
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79. WHAT DID SHE DO, SURVIVE
THE TITANIC, CURE A DISEASE?
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80. - NOT QUITE.
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81. SHE WAS BURNED AT THE STAKE
IN SALEM FOR BEING A WITCH.
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82. - A WITCH?
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83. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M PART WITCH.
WHAT A DISASTER.
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84. - OH, IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
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85. - MAYBE NOT FOR YOU,
BUT I'M A BUDDING POLITICIAN.
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86. WENDY?
- ALREADY IN DAMAGE CONTROL.
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87. FIRST WE DONATE
TO ANTI-WITCH CHARITIES.
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88. THEN A PHOTO OP OF YOU
HOLDING HANDS WITH A PREACHER,
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89. SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
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90. - DAD, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
LIKE A WITCH IN YOUR FAMILY?
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91. - WITCHES AREN'T REAL.
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92. GOODY PRICE WAS PROBABLY
JUST A STRONG WOMAN
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93. PERSECUTED
FOR STANDING UP FOR HERSELF.
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94. - AYE, SUGAR WENCH,
REFILL ON THE ALE.
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95. - IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED,
I'M GIVING BIRTH.
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96. - OH, SUCH INSOLENCE,
AND IN FRONT OF THE BABY.
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97. - SHE'S A WITCH.
BURN HER!
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98. - WHAT?
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99. - OKAY, MOM,
SO YOU'RE 100% CERTAIN
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100. THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS WITCHES.
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101. - RIGHT.
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102. - BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO YOU,
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC.
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103. - EXACTLY.
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104. - AND YET IT'S A FACT
THAT BOTH SANTA
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105. AND THE EASTER BUNNY EXIST
BECAUSE OF MAGIC.
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106. REBUTTAL.
- UM...
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107. - IT'S CALLED LOGIC, MOM.
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108. NEXT TIME YOU'RE ON AMAZON,
ADD IT TO YOUR CART.
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109. - THAT DOES IT.
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110. WE'RE GOING TO SALEM
TO CLEAR MY ANCESTOR'S GOOD NAME
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111. AND SHOW EVERYONE
THAT AN ORDINARY HOUSEWIFE
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112. CAN CLEAN UP
MORE THAN JUST A KITCHEN.
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113. SHE CAN CLEAN UP HISTORY.
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114. - HONEY, ABOUT THE KITCHEN.
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115. EH, I'M NOT GONNA RUIN
HER MOMENT.
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116. SHE CAN CLEAN IT UP LATER.
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117. JACKIE, DON'T DO ANYTHING
I WOULD DO.
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118. - WHERE'S CITY HALL?
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119. I HAVE A BONE TO PICK
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120. WITH THIS SEXIST,
NO DOUBT RACIST TOWNSHIP.
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121. - SHE'S JUST ORNERY
BECAUSE YOU GUYS BURNED
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122. HER GREAT-GREAT GRANDMA
FOR BEING A WITCH.
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123. - THAT'S SO SHAMEFUL.
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124. OOH, WHAT YOU MUST THINK OF US.
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125. ON BEHALF OF THIS GENTRIFIED
COMMUTER TOWN,
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126. I AM SO SORRY.
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127. - YOU WITCHES CAN PRACTICE
YOUR RELIGION ANY WAY YOU WANT.
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128. SALEM'S VERY PROGRESSIVE NOW.
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129. - YEAH, GREAT,
BUT I'M NOT A WITCH.
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130. - GOT YA.
STILL IN THE BROOM CLOSET.
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131. - DAD, WE SHOULD TOTALLY
RENT A BOAT.
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132. - I DON'T KNOW, SON.
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133. SAILING TAKES A LONG TIME
TO MASTER.
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134. - ON THE OTHER HAND, MARTIN MEN
CAN DO ANYTHING.
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135. ONE BOAT,
MY BOOZE-SOAKED FRIEND.
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136. 25 BUCKS,
PLUS 2 BUCKS FOR LIFE JACKETS.
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137. I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT.
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138. LIFE JACKETS ARE LIKE BUYING
AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.
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139. THEY'RE FOR SUCKERS.
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140. AT LEAST WE'RE NOT SUCKERS!
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141. - I'M HERE FOR JUSTICE
AND REPARATIONS.
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142. WINDOW "C."
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143. - THANK YOU.
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144. - THE WHISPERS SAY THAT YOU'RE
A DESCENDANT OF GOODY PRICE.
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145. I'M DRAVEN, HIGH PRIEST
OF THE LOCAL WICCAN COVEN,
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146. AND MAY I ASK WHAT KIND
OF POWERS YOU POSSESS?
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147. - NO POWERS.
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148. ANYONE!
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149. - NONSENSE.
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150. YOU'RE, WHAT,
A 16-GENERATION DESCENDANT?
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151. YOUR POWERS WOULD BE
BARELY DILUTED.
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152. - AGAIN, VOLDEMORT, NO POWERS.
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153. I'D ALSO LIKE A PERMIT TO BUILD
A WALL BETWEEN HERE AND HERE.
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154. - WHOA,
SO YOU'RE THE GIRL WITCH.
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155. THAT'S COOL.
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156. - YOU LOSERS AND YOUR TOLERANCE.
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157. YOU CAN ALL GO TO—
HELLO, HANDSOME.
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158. - I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU'RE DENYING YOUR HERITAGE.
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159. YOUR SELF-HATRED
DOES NOTHING FOR OUR KIND.
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160. KAZAAM!
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161. - KA-SERIOUSLY.
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162. - MOM, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE
WE'RE NOT WITCHES?
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163. - UGH, FOR THE LAST TIME,
I'M SURE.
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164. - OH.
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165. BECAUSE THAT CUTE BOY
THINKS WITCHES ARE COOL.
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166. - HMM.
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167. UH... WAIT.
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168. WAIT, I THINK
I'M FEELING SOMETHING.
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169. I'M GETTING POWERS.
- WHAT?
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170. - I'M A WITCH.
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171. OOGA-BOOGA.
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172. THE PROPHESY IS TRUE.
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173. ARTEMIS, GO SEND WORD.
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174. - WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE A WITCH.
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175. - SHE'S A WITCH!
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176. GET HER...
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177. - A FREE WITCH HAT.
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178. - I SAY WE BURN HER...
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179. A CD OF OUR FAVORITE SONGS.
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180. - HANG HER...
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181. PORTRAIT IN THE TOWN
HALL OF FAME.
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182. - STAB HER.
- WITH?
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183. - THESE SCISSORS.
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184. - OH, HONKS, YOU'RE LUCKY
WE'RE EVEN TOLERANT
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185. OF PAROLED SERIAL KILLERS.
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186. - THIS IS AMAZING.
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187. SO YOU JUST REALIZED
YOU WERE A WITCH TODAY?
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188. - GREAT QUESTION, NICKY.
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189. - I GUESS BEING BACK
IN THE MOTHERLAND
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190. AWAKENED SOMETHING INSIDE ME.
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191. - THAT SOUNDS REALLY SCIENTIFIC.
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192. - DON'T BLOW THIS FOR ME.
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193. FOR THE FIRST TIME,
MY DAUGHTER SEES ME
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194. AS SOMETHING MORE
THAN JUST A HOUSEWIFE.
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195. - SO YOU TRADED PUSHING A BROOM
FOR RIDING ONE?
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196. - CLEVER GIRLS DIE ALONE, WENDY.
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197. - SO WHAT CAN YOU GUYS DO,
CAST SPELLS, READ MINDS?
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198. - WELL, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN
MY POWERS YET,
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199. BUT I BET MY MOM
CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS.
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200. MOM, DO SOMETHING.
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201. - WELL, TAKE THIS GUY
WITH THE CAT FOOD
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202. AND THE ADULT MAGAZINES,
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203. I'M SENSING HE'S...
NEVER BEEN WITH A WOMAN.
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204. OOH.
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205. - IMPRESSIVE,
BUT WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
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206. CLAIRVOYANCE DOESN'T PROVE
THAT YOU'RE A WITCH.
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207. IT'S ALSO A TRAIT
OF ELVES, ORCS,
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208. AND HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE
OF AMERICA.
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209. - BELIEVE WHO YOU WANT,
THE CUTE REDHEAD
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210. WITH GENERATIONS
OF WITCHCRAFT IN HER BLOOD
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211. OR THE VIDEO STORE CLERK
WEARING HIS MOTHER'S EYELINER.
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212. - IT'S NOT MY MOTHER'S EYELINER,
THANK YOU.
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213. SHE SAID I COULD HAVE IT.
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214. - SO WHO WANTS TO BUY
TWO WITCHES A PIZZA?
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215. - ME!
- I'D LOVE TO.
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216. - I HOPE YOU LIKE VEGAN.
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217. - WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF YOUR OLD LADY NOW?
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218. - WICKED.
- MMM.
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219. - UGH.
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220. - FEAR NOT, ARTEMIS.
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221. REVENGE WILL BE OWLS.
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222. JACKIE, I'M DRIVING.
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223. OH, HE TOOK MY GUM.
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224. DAD, WAKE UP.
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225. OH, MAN.
WE'RE SHIPWRECKED.
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226. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
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227. - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
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228. I'M A LOSER FOR CRASHING
INTO THOSE ROCKS
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229. WHILE YOU WERE CRYING
AND THROWING UP.
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230. - HEY, I ONLY THREW UP BECAUSE
I ATE THAT BACON-WRAPPED HOT DOG
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231. I FOUND UNDER MY SEAT,
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232. AND THE TEARS WERE TO WASH
THE VOMIT OUT OF MY EYES.
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233. - OH, I'M NEVER GONNA BE
A GREAT MARTIN MAN
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234. LIKE AUGUSTUS MARTIN THE SAILOR
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235. OR GLENN MARTIN, THE WORLD'S
ONLY TRAVELING DENTIST.
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236. - WOW, YOU REALLY PUT ME
ON THE LEVEL
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237. OF HISTORY'S GREAT MARTINS?
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238. - OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHY IT MUST BE MY FAULT.
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239. - I NEVER REALIZED YOU SAW ME
AS SUCH A HERO.
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240. LOOK, SON, IT WOULD BE EASY
FOR ME TO SAY
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241. I BLAME YOU FOR THIS CRASH...
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242. - HUH?
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243. - SO LET'S JUST LEAVE IT
AT THAT.
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244. - OKAY, GREAT MARTINS ARE KNOWN
FOR THEIR PROBLEM SOLVING.
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245. FIRST, DRINKING WATER.
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246. THERE'S A WHOLE OCEAN OUT THERE,
SO THAT PROBLEM'S SOLVED.
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247. HEY, CHECK IT OUT,
A BOWLING BALL.
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248. - SOME MARTIN
I TURNED OUT TO BE.
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249. - ON DESERTED ISLANDS,
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250. SPORTING GOODS MAKE
GREAT CONVERSATION PARTNERS.
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251. CONOR?
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252. DID YOU SEE HIM GO, BRUNSWICK?
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253. - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, MOM?
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254. GOODY PRICE
ACTUALLY LIVED HERE.
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255. - IT'S BEEN VACANT AS LONG
AS ANYONE CAN REMEMBER.
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256. LEGEND HAS IT
THE PLACE IS CURSED.
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257. - PEOPLE COULD HEAR MOANS
FROM MILES AWAY.
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258. ALL WHO ENTERED WERE PLAGUED
WITH FIERY RASHES.
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259. IT REALLY ADDS
TO THE LOCAL CHARM.
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260. - COURSE, WE'RE KNOCKING IT DOWN
TO BUILD A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.
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261. - WHAT?
UNACCEPTABLE.
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262. MOM?
- COURTNEY'S RIGHT.
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263. WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN PRESERVING THIS MONUMENT
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264. TO A TRUE FEMINIST?
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265. - WELL, WE WERE THINKING
A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.
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266. - AND YOU CALL
YOURSELVES LIBERAL.
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267. I HAVE A GOOD MIND
TO HEX ALL OF YOU.
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268. POWERS OF DARKNESS,
SPIRITS OF EVIL...
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269. - WHOA, LET'S DIALOGUE.
WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE.
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270. - WE DEMAND THIS HOME
BECOME A HISTORICAL MONUMENT
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271. WITH A STATUE OF GOODY...
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272. RIGHT BEHIND A STATUE OF ME
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273. AND A STATUE OF COURTNEY
LOOKING UP AT THE STATUE OF ME.
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274. HATH NOT A WITCH FEELINGS?
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275. IF YOU LAND A HOUSE ON US,
DO OUR TOES NOT CURL?
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276. - THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU NEED TO SEE.
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277. WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU
CAN'T LET ME ACT LIKE
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278. A COMPLETE BLOWHARD FOR THE SAKE
OF MY DAUGHTER'S APPROVAL?
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279. - THIS.
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280. - OW!
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281. "GOODY PRICE'S HOUSE
OF ILL REPUTE"?
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282. "SERVICES OFFERED: DEFLOWER
THE MAYFLOWER, FIVE PENCE."
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283. OKAY.
"BUTTER CHURN BLAST, TEN PENCE."
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284. OH, NO. THE MOANS. THE RASHES.
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285. - YOUR ANCESTOR WASN'T A WITCH.
SHE WAS A PROSTITUTE.
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286. - THOSE GREEDY INDIANS WANTED
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287. TO CHARGE ME 12 BEADS
FROM MANHATTAN.
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288. WHAT AM I, A FOOL?
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289. DANFORTH!
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290. - ABIGAIL!
WHY AM I NAKED?
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291. GOODY PRICE CONJURED ME
INTO HER BED.
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292. SHE'S A WITCH!
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293. - ARE YOU GONNA HURT ME?
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294. - NO.
THAT'LL COST EXTRA.
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295. - I TOLD YOU NO GOOD
WOULD COME FROM YOUR LIES.
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296. - REALLY?
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297. ALL I REMEMBER IS YOU
BEING A TOTAL PILL.
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298. - STUPID CONOR.
STUPID SAILING.
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299. STUPID AWESOME MANSION.
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300. WHAT?
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301. - DEAR GOD.
THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A SAVAGE.
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302. GET HIM A GIN AND TONIC.
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303. - BUT I'M ONLY 13.
- SMART.
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304. SO THEY CAN'T TRY YOU
AS AN ADULT
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305. AFTER YOU HARASS YOUR SECRETARY.
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306. - IS THIS A MIRAGE?
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307. - THIS IS NO MIRAGE,
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308. THOUGH IT DOES SAY "THE MIRAGE"
ON MY BATHROBES
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309. AND TRAVEL-SIZE SHAMPOOS.
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310. YOU'VE HAPPENED
UPON THE COMPOUND
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311. OF THE GREATEST AMERICAN FAMILY.
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312. - THE WAYANSES?
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313. - THE KENNEDYS.
- WOW.
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314. SO YOU GUYS ARE ALL PRESIDENTS
AND JUNK.
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315. - NOPE, THOSE WERE
THE GO-GETTERS OF THE FAMILY.
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316. WE'RE WHAT YOU'D CALL
SECOND-TIER KENNEDYS.
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317. - I'M KEN F. KENNEDY.
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318. THIS IS MURRAY F. KENNEDY,
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319. NICHOLAS F. KENNEDY,
AND JUAN F. KENNEDY.
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320. - ER, UH... HOLA.
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321. - HE WAS CONCEIVED
AT THE BAY OF PIGS.
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322. THAT'S WHAT WE CALL
THE HOMETOWN BUFFET IN MIAMI.
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323. - SO YOU GUYS LIVE IN THE SHADOW
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324. OF YOUR MORE
SUCCESSFUL RELATIVES.
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325. I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.
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326. - THEN YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW.
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327. WE ACCEPT YOU FOR
YOUR MEDIOCRITY.
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328. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, STRANGER?
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329. - CONOR.
- "CON-AH."
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330. - "CON-OR."
- "CON-AH."
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331. - "CAW-NER"
- "AH-AH."
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332. - CLOSE ENOUGH.
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333. - A COVER-UP?
THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE PLAN?
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334. - YEP, NOW COURTNEY
WILL NEVER KNOW
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335. WHAT HER ANCESTOR DID
FOR A LIVING,
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336. EVEN IF MY KICK-ASS BODY
IS SOMETHING OF A GIVEAWAY.
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337. - HEY, CAN'T A FREEGAN
ENJOY A MEAL IN PEACE?
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338. WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
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339. GOODY PRICE'S LIST OF—
OH, ARTEMIS.
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340. SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO LOOK
LIKE A GIANT FOOL.
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341. OW.
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342. HURRAH!
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343. - CONOR, I'M SO GLAD
I FOUND YOU.
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344. YOU WERE RIGHT, BRUNSWICK.
I WAS A FOOL TO DOUBT YOU.
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345. ER, UH, HELLO, FATHER.
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346. BOWL OF CHOWDER?
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347. - WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT?
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348. AND, SURE, I'LL TAKE A BOWL.
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349. - THAT'S JUST
A FIGURE OF SPEECH, LIKE,
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350. "NO, I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING
TO DRINK, OFFICER."
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351. - UH... OKAY, SON.
LET'S GET GOING.
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352. - I DON'T WANT TO GO, FATHER.
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353. I LIKE IT HERE
WITH MY FELLOW UNDERACHIEVERS.
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354. - SON, WE'RE LEAVING.
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355. - ER, UH, STOP.
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356. - HEY, WHO'S THE OLD BROAD
IN THE HAMSTER BALL?
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357. - VIOLET KENNEDY,
THE SECOND-TIER MATRIARCH.
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358. - THIS DISPUTE WILL BE SETTLED
IN THE MANNER
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359. KENNEDYS HAVE ALWAYS
RESOLVED CONFLICT.
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360. - BY FLEEING THE SCENE?
STEALING AN ELECTION?
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361. SHARING A GIRLFRIEND
WITH A MAFIA KINGPIN?
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362. - A BARBARIC BATTLE WITH
A SERIES OF UNGODLY WEAPONS
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363. HELD INSIDE A FIRE PIT
OF STEAMING SHELLFISH.
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364. - OR IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER
GIANT HAMSTER BALL,
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365. WE COULD HAVE A RACE.
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366. - GOODY PRICE'S ONLY CRIME
WAS PERFORMING A FEW TRICKS.
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367. SHE BENT OVER BACKWARDS
FOR THIS TOWN.
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368. - I'LL BET SHE DID.
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369. - AND NOW I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE MY MOM.
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370. I HOPE SOMEDAY TO BE HALF
AS POWERFUL AS SHE IS.
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371. - WOW.
WHERE TO BEGIN?
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372. HOW ABOUT THE END?
DRIVE CAREFULLY. LET'S BEAT IT.
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373. - PEOPLE OF SALEM, I HAVE PROOF
THAT THIS WOMAN HAS LIED TO YOU.
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374. SHE KNOWS SHE DESCENDS NOT FROM
A WITCH, BUT FROM A PROSTITUTE.
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375. - NO.
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376. - WHAT?
- REALLY?
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377. - IS THIS TRUE, MOM?
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378. - I'LL TELL YOU IN THE RV,
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379. AND EVEN THEN,
I'LL SUGAR-COAT IT.
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380. - YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
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381. - YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF OUR
OPEN MINDS AND LIBERAL GUILT.
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382. BURN HER!
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383. - YOU MEAN BURN ME ANOTHER CD?
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384. - NOT THIS TIME.
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385. - I TOLD YOU SO.
I HATE TO SAY IT.
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386. - THEN WHY DO YOU
KEEP SAYING IT?
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387. - BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN'T
DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
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388. I TOLD YOU SO.
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389. - OH, OKAY, MAYBE MY MOM'S
NOT A BLOOD WITCH,
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390. BUT SHE'S STILL A WITCH.
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391. YOU SHOULD SEE HOW
SHE TALKS TO WAITERS.
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392. - LOOK, I REALLY WANT TO FOCUS
ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW.
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393. MY PAPER ROUTE'S
REALLY TAKING OFF.
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394. SO...
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395. - THANKS A LOT, MOM.
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396. WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED
FOR WHAT YOU DID?
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397. - LIAR!
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398. - IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,
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399. I'M NOT EXACTLY
GETTING OFF EASY.
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400. OW!
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401. THOSE TOMATOES ARE SUPPOSED
TO BE ROTTEN, NOT CERAMIC!
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402. - THIS IS THE BATTLE FOR
THE SOUL OF ONE CONOR MARTIN.
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403. TWO MEN WILL ENTER
THE CLAM BAKE PIT.
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404. ONE WILL EXIT.
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405. - THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
- DINNER.
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406. - CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.
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407. - I CHOOSE... BRUNSWICK.
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408. - COMMENCE.
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409. I CHOSE WRONG!
I CHOSE WRONG!
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410. HEY!
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411. WHOA!
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412. - DAD, WATCH OUT!
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413. I THINK THEY REALLY
WANT TO HURT YOU.
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414. - YES, I'M AWARE OF THAT, SON.
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415. crash!
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416. - HEY, THAT WAS FAIR AND SQUARE.
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417. THAT'S NOT HOW WE
DO THINGS AROUND HERE.
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418. - BRING IN THE IN-LAW.
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419. - I AM BACK.
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420. THIS IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME
TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOUR MOVIES.
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421. - JACKIE ROBINSON MARTIN,
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422. YOU STAND ACCUSED
OF NOT BEING A WITCH.
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423. OKAY, NOW WHAT?
THIS IS MY FIRST WITCH TRIAL.
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424. I MOSTLY MARRY GAY PEOPLE.
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425. - I HAVE DEVISED A SIMPLE TEST.
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426. IF SHE WAS TRULY A WITCH,
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427. SHE COULD MOVE THIS CUP OF WATER
WITH HER MIND.
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428. I SAW IT
ON AN EPISODE OF CHARMED.
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429. I WILL TERMINATE YOU.
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430. - PROTECT SARAH CONNOR.
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431. - IT'S JUST "CONOR."
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432. - ACTUALLY, "SARAH" WAS
YOUR ORIGINAL FIRST NAME.
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433. WE LOVE THE MOVIES.
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434. - I DON'T WANT
TO BE HERE ANYMORE.
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435. - WE'RE PAST THE POINT
OF NO RETURN.
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436. THE CAR'S ALREADY
OFF THE BRIDGE.
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437. THAT HURT.
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438. - UGH, COME ON, CONOR.
THINK.
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439. - YOU'RE A MACHINE?
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440. - NO, I'M JUST THE AVERAGE
FITNESS AFICIONADO.
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441. - WHAT IS A BODYBUILDER
MOST AFRAID OF?
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442. TRANS FATS!
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443. DAD, NOW!
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444. DEFEATED BY A GIRLY MAN.
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445. - YES!
GOOD WORK, SON.
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446. - THE OUTSIDERS
ARE FREE TO LEAVE.
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447. - SO HOW DO WE GET OFF
THIS GOD-FORSAKEN ISLAND?
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448. - ISLAND?
WE'RE SECOND-TIER KENNEDYS.
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449. JUST CUT THROUGH
THAT SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT,
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450. AND YOU'LL BE BACK
WHERE YOU STARTED.
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451. - PEOPLE OF SALEM,
I'M SORRY I LIED.
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452. I JUST WANTED MY DAUGHTER
TO BE PROUD OF ME,
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453. AND LYING TO AN ENTIRE TOWN
ABOUT HAVING SUPERPOWERS
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454. SEEMED THE EASIEST WAY TO DO IT.
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455. - EITHER MOVE THE CUP OR NOT.
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456. - I GUESS I'M JUST INSECURE,
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457. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE DESTINED
FOR GREAT THINGS.
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458. - OH, MOM, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU WERE A GREAT ROLE MODEL.
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459. - YOU HEARD HER.
SHE'S NOT A WITCH.
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460. BURN HER!
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461. - LIGHT HER UP.
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462. I'VE GOT A LOT OF CONVICTIONS
TO OVERTURN.
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463. - OKAY, OKAY!
I'M A WITCH.
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464. - THEN MOVE THE CUP.
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465. - MM... OOGY-BOOGY?
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466. - RIGHT THE WRONG
OF SHE WHO SINNED.
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467. SHIFT THE CUP WITH GUST OF WIND.
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468. WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED?
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469. - I DID IT?
HOW DID I DO IT?
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470. - WHO CARES, MOM?
YOU DID IT!
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471. - SORRY FOR BURNING
YOUR ANCESTOR
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472. AND ALMOST BURNING YOU
FOR THE EXACT OPPOSITE REASON.
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473. - SO IT SEEMS THINGS WORKED OUT
IN MY FAVOR AFTER ALL.
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474. - WITCH.
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475. - OKAY, LET'S GO, GIRLS.
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476. I THINK WE'VE HAD
ENOUGH OF SALEM.
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477. - HELLO.
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478. ARE YOU...
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479. - GLAD I COULD BE OF HELP,
JACKIE.
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480. - WAIT, NOW I'M CONFUSED.
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481. WERE YOU A WITCH OR A HOOKER?
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482. - WHY CAN'T A POWERFUL WOMAN
BE BOTH?
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483. - RIGHT ON, SISTER.
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484. - EXCUSE ME.
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485. I HAVE SOME VIRGIN TERRITORY
TO CONQUER.
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486. HEY, KID, YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE
SOME REAL MAGIC?
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487. - ARTEMIS, YOU STAY HERE.
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