1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - JACKIE, KEEP SLICING.Copy !req
15. - GOT IT.
- COURTNEY, KEEP DICING.Copy !req
16. - ON IT.
- CONOR, KEEP SPICING.Copy !req
17. - CHECK.Copy !req
18. - WHAT CAN I DO,
DR. MARTIN?Copy !req
19. - ALL I CAN THINK OF IS RICING,
AND THAT'S OFFENSIVE.Copy !req
20. - THE REST OF YOU,
MOVE FASTER.Copy !req
21. - OH, GLENN, WILL YOU RELAX?Copy !req
22. IT'S ONLY A CHILI COOK-OFF.Copy !req
23. - ONLY?Copy !req
24. ONLY LOSERS RELAX,
AND ONLY LOSERS SAY "ONLY."Copy !req
25. I ONLY SAID IT THEN
BECAUSE I HAD TO.Copy !req
26. - ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?Copy !req
27. - OOH, NOW THAT I THINK OF IT,
THERE IS.Copy !req
28. YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE
OF THE FAMILY COOKING.Copy !req
29. - GREAT.Copy !req
30. - AH, NEVER MIND.
I'LL TAKE IT.Copy !req
31. - AH!Copy !req
32. I'M BLINDED!Copy !req
33. - CONOR!
- IT'S OKAY, JACKIE.Copy !req
34. HE'S WEARING A HAIRNET.Copy !req
35. - BLAH!Copy !req
36. MORE PAPRIKA.Copy !req
37. - OH, THE CELEBRITY JUDGES
ARE COMING.Copy !req
38. - OH-HO, THAT'S SOME
ELEGANT SPICE WORK, SON.Copy !req
39. - MMM,
THIS IS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF...Copy !req
40. - WOW.Copy !req
41. - PROTECT THE FIRST LADY.Copy !req
42. - BUT I DIDN'T...Copy !req
43. - OWN IT.Copy !req
44. - SORRY,
MUST HAVE SLIPPED OUT.Copy !req
45. - HONORABLE MENTION?Copy !req
46. - WELL, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIRDCopy !req
47. IF SOMEONE HADN'T DETONATED
A DIRTY BOMB.Copy !req
48. - YOU NEVER HEARD
OF SILENT BUT DEADLY?Copy !req
49. - MAN, YOU TEXAS GIRLS
ARE SO HOT.Copy !req
50. - OH, HOTTER THAN
THIS OLD CHILI PEPPER?Copy !req
51. - OH, MUCH.Copy !req
52. - PROVE IT.Copy !req
53. AH-AH-AHH, AHH.Copy !req
54. - BUT AM I HOTTER
THAN THAT GRILL?Copy !req
55. - I GUESS.Copy !req
56. - PROVE IT.Copy !req
57. - AHHH!Copy !req
58. - HOTTER THAN
THAT MEAT-TENDERIZING HAMMER?Copy !req
59. - BUT... A MEAT-TENDERIZING
HAMMER ISN'T HOT.Copy !req
60. - JUST HIT YOURSELF WITH IT,
BROCCOLI HEAD.Copy !req
61. - OH! EH! OH! EH! EH!Copy !req
62. STUPID TEXAS GIRLS.Copy !req
63. THEY ONLY LIKE GUYS
WHO ARE STRONG OR HANDSOME.Copy !req
64. - YEAH, HONEY,
THAT'S JUST TEXAS GIRLS.Copy !req
65. - AW, SON, I KNOW YOUR PAIN.Copy !req
66. MARTIN MEN HAVE NEVER FARED WELL
AGAINST JOCKS.Copy !req
67. ARGH, ACK.Copy !req
68. WHY...Copy !req
69. DON'T YOU...Copy !req
70. LIKE ME?Copy !req
71. I'M AFRAID IT'S OUR LOT IN LIFE
TO BE TERRORIZED BY JOCKSCopy !req
72. AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM.Copy !req
73. - WHAT DOES YOUR STORY
HAVE TO DO WITH MY PROBLEM?Copy !req
74. - NOT A THING, SON.Copy !req
75. JUST REMINISCING
ABOUT MY WONDER YEARS.Copy !req
76. - I'LL TALK TO HIM.Copy !req
77. CONOR, I KNOW IT HURTS,
BUT I PROMISE,Copy !req
78. SOMEDAY, GIRLS WILL APPRECIATE
HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE.Copy !req
79. - WHAT ABOUT NOW?Copy !req
80. I'M SO FRUSTRATED.Copy !req
81. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING
A 13-YEAR-OLD BOY COULD DOCopy !req
82. IN THE PRIVACY OF HIS OWN ROOM
TO GET SOME PHYSICAL RELEASE.Copy !req
83. - OKAY, ENJOYED THE CHAT,
BYE-BYE.Copy !req
84. - ARGH!Copy !req
85. OH.Copy !req
86. EH, HEH-HEH,
UH, UH, HEH, HEH,Copy !req
87. EH, UH, OOOH-EH,
EH, EH.Copy !req
88. OOH-OOH, OOOH.Copy !req
89. OH, YEAH.Copy !req
90. THIS FEELS GOOD.Copy !req
91. - GOOD NIGHT,
LIGHT OF MY LIFE,Copy !req
92. STAR OF MY DREAMS,
AND ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS.Copy !req
93. MWAH!Copy !req
94. AND YOU OVER THERE,Copy !req
95. UM, UH, LATER, POTATER.Copy !req
96. DO YOU THINK IF I DISAPPEARED,
YOUR DAD WOULD EVEN NOTICE?Copy !req
97. - OF COURSE.Copy !req
98. HE'D NOTICE I NEEDED
A NEW ASSISTANT.Copy !req
99. - UGH.Copy !req
100. - I WONDER
WHAT'S HAPPENING THERE.Copy !req
101. - TAILGATE PARTIES,
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS...Copy !req
102. I'M GUESSING
IT'S AN ACADEMIC DECATHLON.Copy !req
103. COME ON, FAMILY.Copy !req
104. IN THE LAND OF NERDS,
THE DENTIST IS KING.Copy !req
105. - FIVE MINUTES LEFT
IN REGULATION,Copy !req
106. AND THE BOBCATS ARE PUMPED.Copy !req
107. OH, IT DOESN'T GET
ANY BETTER THAN THIS,Copy !req
108. JOHN MADDEN.Copy !req
109. - NO, IT DOESN'T,
OWEN HERSHBERG.Copy !req
110. WHY DO YOU THINK
I QUIT ANNOUNCING IN THE NFL?Copy !req
111. BECAUSE TEXAS
HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL IS BIGGER.Copy !req
112. - AHH!Copy !req
113. - BOBCAT FANS HAVE PLACED
THEIR CHAMPIONSHIP HOPESCopy !req
114. ON THE SHOULDERS OF THEIR
FREAKISHLY HANDSOME QUARTERBACK,Copy !req
115. TONY LOBO.Copy !req
116. - AS YOU KNOW,
I'M AFRAID TO FLY ON AIRPLANES,Copy !req
117. BUT IF LOBO HELD MY HAND,
HEY, I BET I COULD DO IT.Copy !req
118. - ARGH!Copy !req
119. - OOH, LOBO IS BURIED.Copy !req
120. - I'LL NEVER MAKE IT
OUT OF THAT STUPID BUS.Copy !req
121. - OH, THIS IS JUST
A DUMB FOOTBALL GAME.Copy !req
122. - JUST BE CAREFUL TURNING.Copy !req
123. YOU DON'T WANT TO HIT A CAR
IN THE ANTLERS.Copy !req
124. - PERHAPS A MOMENT OF SILENCE
IS IN ORDER.Copy !req
125. - I'M STAYING IN.Copy !req
126. - WHOA, LOBO HAS SHAKEN OFF
THE PARALYSIS.Copy !req
127. - UGH!Copy !req
128. - HE'S COMING BACK IN THE GAME.Copy !req
129. - UGH!Copy !req
130. - DAD, I THINK
YOU RAN OVER A PLAYER.Copy !req
131. - OH, NO.
IT'S TOILET TIME.Copy !req
132. THIS TIME,
I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED.Copy !req
133. AHH-AHH-AHHH.Copy !req
134. - BOY,
YOU ARE IN A HEAP OF TROUBLE.Copy !req
135. YOU KILLED OUR CHANCES
FOR STATE.Copy !req
136. - OKAY, HOW MANY RAFFLE TICKETS
DO I HAVE TO BUYCopy !req
137. TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS?Copy !req
138. FOUR? FIVE? FOUR?Copy !req
139. - TAR AND FEATHERS!Copy !req
140. TAR AND FEATHERS!Copy !req
141. - DON'T WORRY, KIDS.Copy !req
142. THIS IS AN OLD SHIRT.Copy !req
143. AHH! AHH!Copy !req
144. THAT TICKLES.Copy !req
145. OH! AUGH! AHH!Copy !req
146. - EVERYONE BACK OFF.Copy !req
147. - AUGH!Copy !req
148. - OH!Copy !req
149. - OW!Copy !req
150. - HOLY BUCKETS.Copy !req
151. DID Y'ALL JUST SEE
WHAT THAT LITTLE GIRL DID DONE?Copy !req
152. - HOO, I SURE DONE DID.Copy !req
153. I THINK WE'VE GOT OURSELVES
A NEW QUARTERBACK.Copy !req
154. - WHO? ME?Copy !req
155. - NO, IT'S OUR LITTLE WENDY.Copy !req
156. THAT'S WHO YOU MEAN, RIGHT?Copy !req
157. - BULL'S-EYE.Copy !req
158. NICE ONE, WENDY.Copy !req
159. UGH!Copy !req
160. OWW.Copy !req
161. - WOW,
I REALLY LIKE YOUR MOVES.Copy !req
162. - WOW,
I REALLY LIKE YOUR FACE,Copy !req
163. EVEN THOUGH THAT'S NOT THE PART
I'M STARING AT.Copy !req
164. - YOU'RE SO BRAVE.Copy !req
165. DANCING'S AGAINST THE LAW
IN THIS TOWN.Copy !req
166. - WHAT?Copy !req
167. WHY WOULD THIS BE ILLEGAL?Copy !req
168. AHHH!Copy !req
169. OKAY, MAYBE THAT MOVE
SHOULD BE ILLEGALCopy !req
170. BUT NOT THE REST.Copy !req
171. - I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT
PLAYING FOOTBALL, DR. MARTIN.Copy !req
172. - I'LL TELL YOU HOW YOU FEEL.Copy !req
173. YOU FEEL GREAT.Copy !req
174. YOU'RE FINALLY SHOWING
THOSE JOCKS WHAT YOU'RE MADE OFCopy !req
175. AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS
OF BEING CALLED A GIRL.Copy !req
176. - THAT'S NEVER REALLY
BOTHERED ME.Copy !req
177. - JUST TRY TO MAKE THE BALL
DO THE SPINNY THING, OKAY?Copy !req
178. - I DON'T UNDERSTAND, GLENN.Copy !req
179. YOU WANT WENDY
TO GO TO SCHOOL HERE?Copy !req
180. - OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
181. THIS IS TEXAS.Copy !req
182. THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS
DON'T GO TO SCHOOL.Copy !req
183. - SO HOW DID YOU GET
SUCH A STRONG THROWING ARM?Copy !req
184. - I HAVE NO IDEA.Copy !req
185. HANDOFF.Copy !req
186. - I STILL DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
187. - WELL, IT'S WENDY'S CHOICE.Copy !req
188. WHAT DO YOU SAY, WEN?Copy !req
189. THIS TOWN IS NUTS FOR YOU.Copy !req
190. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A WEIRD GIFT
IT IS TO BE ACCEPTED LIKE THAT?Copy !req
191. - I'M BEGINNING TO.Copy !req
192. - COME ON,
LET'S GET YOU TO PRACTICE.Copy !req
193. THAT'S JOCK LINGO
FOR "REHEARSAL."Copy !req
194. - WENDY'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.Copy !req
195. SHE HASN'T DESIGNED
MY DAILY SUDOKU YETCopy !req
196. OR SOLVED IT FOR ME.Copy !req
197. - SORRY, I'LL GET THAT.Copy !req
198. - COURTNEY, SHE'S QB ONE NOW.Copy !req
199. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIME
TO BE YOUR ASSISTANT,Copy !req
200. BUT HOSS WILLIKER HERE
HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGHCopy !req
201. TO LINE UP SOME POSSIBLE
REPLACEMENTS.Copy !req
202. - I SURE DONE DID, DEAR.Copy !req
203. MEET AMBER, MOLLY, KIKI,
AND...Copy !req
204. WILLIE NELSON.Copy !req
205. - WELL, I GUESS,
BUT GRAMPS HERE SHOULD KNOW,Copy !req
206. I AGE DISCRIMINATE.Copy !req
207. - FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req
208. - NOW,
I WANT TO PICK AN ASSISTANTCopy !req
209. BUT IN A WAY
THAT DEGRADES ALL OF YOU.Copy !req
210. - YOU COULD ASSIGN
DIFFERENT CHALLENGESCopy !req
211. AND FIRE ONE OF US
AFTER EACH ROUNDCopy !req
212. UNTIL YOU HAVE A WINNER.Copy !req
213. - THAT'S A GREAT IDEA...
THAT I'LL TAKE CREDIT FOR.Copy !req
214. MOLLY, YOU'RE FIRED.Copy !req
215. - THAT A GIRL, WENDY.Copy !req
216. - YOU SURE SHE'S ALLOWED TO BE
ON THE TEAM?Copy !req
217. - MM-HMM, NOTHIN'
IN THIS RULE BOOKSCopy !req
218. SAYS A GIRL
CAN'T PLAY VARSITY,Copy !req
219. AND WE JUST TORE OUT THE PAGE
THAT SAYS "NO ASIANS."Copy !req
220. - PUT A LOT OF MUSTARD ON IT,
WENDY.Copy !req
221. - YOU GOT IT, DR. M.Copy !req
222. - AHHH!Copy !req
223. - YEAH, BOY, MARTY.Copy !req
224. THAT KID YOU BRUNG
IS GONNA TAKE US TO STATE.Copy !req
225. TAKE A KNEE.Copy !req
226. - ALL MY LIFE,
I'VE SEEN JOCKS TAKE A KNEE.Copy !req
227. NOW IT'S MY TURN.Copy !req
228. DOES IT MATTER
WHICH KNEE I TAKE?Copy !req
229. - JUST SIT DOWN, MARTY.Copy !req
230. - GOTCHA.Copy !req
231. ON MY TUSHY
OR CRISSCROSS APPLE SAUCE?Copy !req
232. - SO, MY CHILD,
ENJOYING BUFORD?Copy !req
233. - WELL, SEEMS THE ONLY THINGS
TO DO HERE ARE PLAYING FOOTBALL,Copy !req
234. WATCHING FOOTBALL,
AND NOT DANCING.Copy !req
235. - MAKE A SCHEDULE.Copy !req
236. YOU'LL FIT IT ALL IN.Copy !req
237. - NOT THAT I HAVE
THOSE TENDENCIES,Copy !req
238. BUT WHY WOULD DANCING
BE AGAINST THE LAW?Copy !req
239. - BECAUSE IT'S SINFUL.Copy !req
240. IF THE LORD CATCHES YOU DANCING,
THE EARTH WILL CRACK OPEN.Copy !req
241. WE'LL ALL PLUMMET
INTO THE GATES OF HELL.Copy !req
242. - ALL DANCING?Copy !req
243. WHAT ABOUT THE WATUSI?Copy !req
244. - HELL!Copy !req
245. - HOKEY POKEY?Copy !req
246. - HELL!Copy !req
247. - THE CHICKEN DANCE?Copy !req
248. - OUTSIDE THE CONFINES
OF A POLISH WEDDING?Copy !req
249. - YES.Copy !req
250. - HELL!Copy !req
251. - OH, MAN.Copy !req
252. - THAT BETTER NOT BE
A MOONWALK.Copy !req
253. - HEY, FROSH,
NICE PRACTICE TODAY.Copy !req
254. ONE OF THE PERKS.Copy !req
255. - HELLO, GORGEOUS.Copy !req
256. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
257. YOU'RE DREAMY.Copy !req
258. CAN I KEEP HIM, DR. MARTIN?Copy !req
259. - SURE, WE CAN KEEP HIM
IN THE CLOSET.Copy !req
260. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MARTY?Copy !req
261. - JUST GOING HOME.Copy !req
262. - NO, NO,
YOU DONE DONE LIVIN' THERE.Copy !req
263. NOW YOU DO DONE LIVE HERE.Copy !req
264. OHHHH.Copy !req
265. - HI, TONY.Copy !req
266. GUYS, I KNEW
YOU WOULDN'T FORGET ME.Copy !req
267. - TAKE IT AWAY, CLETE.Copy !req
268. - OH, NO.Copy !req
269. AH, AH, AHHH!Copy !req
270. OHHHH.Copy !req
271. - THANK YOU, WENDY.Copy !req
272. YOU KNOW,
A MAN CAN RAISE A FAMILYCopy !req
273. IN A PARKING SPOT LIKE THIS.Copy !req
274. WENDY,
YOU MUST BE STARVING.Copy !req
275. MORE CASSEROLE?Copy !req
276. JACKIE, LESS CASSEROLE?Copy !req
277. - I HAD AN INTERESTING DAY.Copy !req
278. I WAS INTERVIEWING ASSISTANTS—Copy !req
279. - IS THIS STORY ABOUT WENDY?
- NO.Copy !req
280. - THEN CAN YOU MAKE IT
MORE WENDYISH?Copy !req
281. - HEH-HEH.Copy !req
282. - CONOR,
TIME FOR DINNER.Copy !req
283. - WOW, I THOUGHT DOING IT
BY MYSELF FELT GOOD,Copy !req
284. BUT DOING IT WITH A GIRL
IS EVEN BETTER.Copy !req
285. OKAY, EVERYONE STOP WHAT—Copy !req
286. I WASN'T DANCIN'.
I SWEAR.Copy !req
287. - OH, DANCING.Copy !req
288. OH, THANK GOD.Copy !req
289. I'M TOO YOUNG
TO BE A GRANDMOTHER.Copy !req
290. I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY
I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOTHER.Copy !req
291. OH, WAIT.
DANCING'S ILLEGAL IN THIS TOWN.Copy !req
292. NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT TO FIND
SOMETHING ELSE TO DO,Copy !req
293. BUT NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING.Copy !req
294. - BUT DANCE
IS EVERYTHING TO ME.Copy !req
295. MARK MY WORDS, SHELBY.Copy !req
296. ONE DAY,
I'M GONNA GET OUT OF THIS TOWN.Copy !req
297. - THAT'S CRAZY TALK.Copy !req
298. I KNOW SOMEWHERE WE CAN
TRIP THE LIGHT FANTASTIC,Copy !req
299. A SECRET PLACE
WHERE NO ONE WILL FIND US.Copy !req
300. - IS IT A BARN?Copy !req
301. - YES, BUT WHICH BARN?Copy !req
302. - IS IT YOUR BARN?Copy !req
303. - DANG IT.Copy !req
304. - NOW, A GOOD ASSISTANT
NEEDS TO BE A MIND READER.Copy !req
305. FOR YOUR LAST CHALLENGE,
I WANT YOU TO READ MY—Copy !req
306. - MIND.Copy !req
307. - NOT IMPRESSED,
WILLIE NELSON.Copy !req
308. - AMBER,
WHAT AM I THINKING?Copy !req
309. - YOU'RE THINKING
SOMEONE SHOULD REALLY MAKECopy !req
310. A COURTNEY MARTIN BIOPIC?Copy !req
311. - DUH, STARRING WHO?Copy !req
312. - ASHLEY TISDALE?Copy !req
313. AMBER, YOU'RE FIRED.Copy !req
314. WILLIE,
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.Copy !req
315. - OW!Copy !req
316. - CONGRATS, WILLIE NELSON.Copy !req
317. YOU'RE MY NEW ASSISTANT.Copy !req
318. - WHEN DO I START?Copy !req
319. - RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
320. I JUST NEED
A CLEAN SAMPLE OF URINE.Copy !req
321. - NOT A PROBLEM.Copy !req
322. YEAH, AMBER, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO MAKE FIVE BUCKS?Copy !req
323. - WHAT A PASS.Copy !req
324. WENDY PARK HAS PUT THE BOBCATS
IN DRIVE.Copy !req
325. - BOBCATS ARE ONE WIN AWAY
FROM GOING TO STATE.Copy !req
326. I AM SO EXCITED.Copy !req
327. AHH! AHH! ARRGH!Copy !req
328. TURDUCKEN, I'M BACK.Copy !req
329. - COME ON, BUDDY,
NIPPLE TO NIPPLE.Copy !req
330. HOO!Copy !req
331. - WOW, A CHEST BUMP
WITH AN AGING JOCK.Copy !req
332. THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.Copy !req
333. - HEY, LOOK, GUYS.Copy !req
334. I GOT
A BUNCH MORE OPERATIONS.Copy !req
335. I'VE GOT
MOTOR-ASSISTED MOVEMENT.Copy !req
336. - THAT'S GREAT, TONY,
BUT THIS HERE'S THE V.I.P. AREA.Copy !req
337. CLETE.Copy !req
338. - NOT THE POND.Copy !req
339. - DID YOU SEE MY FOURTH DOWN
CONVERSION, DR. MARTIN?Copy !req
340. - WENDY, THAT WAS FANTASTIC.Copy !req
341. MWAH!Copy !req
342. - NOW, WIN ONE FOR THE GLIPPER.Copy !req
343. - BE AGGRESSIVE.Copy !req
344. BE-E AGGRESSIVE.Copy !req
345. - BLUE 38, HIKE.Copy !req
346. HI.Copy !req
347. AUUGH!Copy !req
348. OHHH.Copy !req
349. - GO, WENDY.Copy !req
350. - AHH!Copy !req
351. - TOUCHDOWN!
YEAH!Copy !req
352. - YAHOO!
WHOO-HOO!Copy !req
353. - THIS BARN LOOKS SAFE,Copy !req
354. EXCEPT FOR THE DANGEROUSLY SHARP
FARM EQUIPMENTCopy !req
355. AND THE GASOLINE-SOAKED HAY.Copy !req
356. - I CAN FINALLY BE FREE.Copy !req
357. OH, WE WERE JUST, UH...Copy !req
358. - WE CAME HERE TO BE
IRRESPONSIBLE WITH FIRECRACKERS,Copy !req
359. BUT COULD YOU TEACH US
TO DANCE INSTEAD?Copy !req
360. - YES, DON'T BE AFRAID.Copy !req
361. COME OUT OF THE SHADOWS.Copy !req
362. AND FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.Copy !req
363. - WHAT IN TARNATION
IS GOING ON IN HERE?Copy !req
364. - UH...Copy !req
365. - I HAD MY SUSPICIONS
ABOUT YOU, BOY.Copy !req
366. - IF YOU KILL ME, BLUESTONE,Copy !req
367. MY POWERS
WILL ONLY GROW STRONGER.Copy !req
368. - NO ONE IS TALKING
ABOUT KILLING YOU, SON,Copy !req
369. BUT IF YOU DANCE AGAIN,
I WILL PULL YOUR LEGS OFF.Copy !req
370. - HUH.Copy !req
371. AHH!Copy !req
372. - THAT BETTER NOT BE
THE RUNNING MAN.Copy !req
373. - YOU GOT QUITE A LUMP
ON YOUR HEAD, LITTLE LADY.Copy !req
374. LOOKS SERIOUS.
- AH!Copy !req
375. - I BETTER GET YOU
A BIGGER HELMET.Copy !req
376. - ARE YOU SURE IT'S SAFE
FOR ME TO PLAY FOOTBALL?Copy !req
377. - OH, ABSOLUTELY,
UNLESS YOU GET HIT.Copy !req
378. THEN YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING
AT BRAIN DAMAGE.Copy !req
379. - I DON'T THINK I WANT THAT.Copy !req
380. - WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,Copy !req
381. PLAY AND RISK
MY MEDICAL CAREERCopy !req
382. OR NOT PLAY AND RISK
THE BOBCATS' 1973 SEASON.Copy !req
383. THANKFULLY,
I MADE THE RIGHT CALL.Copy !req
384. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO RELEARN
SOME THINGS, LIKE BREATHING,Copy !req
385. BUT YOU'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER
BEING QB ONE... KIND OF.Copy !req
386. BOBCAT FEVER.Copy !req
387. I'VE GOT THE FEVER.Copy !req
388. - OH, I LOVE IT.Copy !req
389. DANG, YOU REALLY DID DONE DIDDLY
DONE DID IT THIS TIME, HOSS.Copy !req
390. - ONLY I CAN SAY THAT.Copy !req
391. I'M KIDDIN'.Copy !req
392. YOU CAN SAY IT TOO.Copy !req
393. - DR. MARTIN, I HAVE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL,Copy !req
394. AND I HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE.Copy !req
395. - ALL RIGHT, MARTY,
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.Copy !req
396. CLETE, LIGHT THE MENORAH.Copy !req
397. - OH, THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.Copy !req
398. NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED
TO TELL ME, WENDY?Copy !req
399. - GO, BOBCATS.Copy !req
400. - YEE-HAW.Copy !req
401. - IN CASE OF BRAIN DAMAGE,Copy !req
402. LAY IN BED,
HEAD ON PILLOW,Copy !req
403. BLANKET OVER BODY,
CLOSE EYES.Copy !req
404. - COME ON, QB ONE,
IT'S KICKOFF TIME.Copy !req
405. THAT'S JOCK LINGO
FOR "OPENING CURTAIN."Copy !req
406. BE RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
407. - HONEY,
WHY ARE YOU SEWING SLEEVESCopy !req
408. BACK ON YOUR SLEEVELESS SHIRT?Copy !req
409. - BECAUSE I'M NEVER GONNA
DANCE AGAIN.Copy !req
410. THE DREAM IS OVER.Copy !req
411. - NO, MY SON
HAS FINALLY FOUND A HOBBYCopy !req
412. THAT HAS MADE HIM APPEALING
TO GIRLS.Copy !req
413. I'M NOT LETTING ANYONE
TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HIM.Copy !req
414. CONOR, WE'RE GONNA GIVE THIS
ONE-HORSE TOWN ANOTHER HORSE,Copy !req
415. A DANCING HORSE.Copy !req
416. - OH, YEAH!Copy !req
417. GO, MOM!Copy !req
418. OHHH!Copy !req
419. - IT'S PANDEMONIUM
AT THE STADIUM.Copy !req
420. ALL THE CELEBRITIESCopy !req
421. HALL AND OATES, RIC OCASEK,
AND THE BOSS, TONY DANZA.Copy !req
422. - COOL.Copy !req
423. SO WHERE ARE THE CELEBRITIES?Copy !req
424. - OKAY, AT HALFTIME,
WE'RE GONNA SHOW THIS TOWNCopy !req
425. THAT DANCING IS NOTHING
TO BE ASHAMED OF.Copy !req
426. - SUPER.Copy !req
427. - TEXAS MIGHT NOT BE THE
BEST PLACE FOR YOU TO GROW UP.Copy !req
428. - HEY, YOU MIND PLUGGING ME IN?Copy !req
429. HEY, GET—COME ON, GET...Copy !req
430. - SUITING UP AGAINST THE BOBCATSCopy !req
431. IS THEIR OLD QUARTERBACK,
TONY LOBO.Copy !req
432. HE'S COMPLETED
AN EXPERIMENTAL REHABCopy !req
433. WITH THE FOLKS
AT TEXAS INSTRUMENTSCopy !req
434. AND IS NOW 20% ROBOT.Copy !req
435. - OHH!Copy !req
436. HE'S A MONSTER.Copy !req
437. MOMMY, IT'S ME. DON'T CRY.Copy !req
438. - GOSH DARN IT.Copy !req
439. THERE'S NOTHING
IN THIS DIGGITY-DANG RULE BOOKCopy !req
440. THAT SAYS A CYBORG CAN'T PLAY.Copy !req
441. - QUARTERBACK DESTROY.Copy !req
442. - GLENN, I DON'T LIKE
THE LOOKS OF THIS.Copy !req
443. - ME NEITHER.Copy !req
444. THIS ONE KEEPS FLICKERING.Copy !req
445. - SO YOU'VE NEVER HAD
YOUR HAIR BRAIDED?Copy !req
446. WHAT DID MY PREDECESSOR DO
ALL DAY?Copy !req
447. - OH, WILLIE, YOU'RE SO CATTY.Copy !req
448. - AUGH!Copy !req
449. - AND A LUCKY FAN
TAKES HOME A SOUVENIR.Copy !req
450. I COULD GO ALL THE WAY.Copy !req
451. - DON'T WORRY, PEOPLE.Copy !req
452. IT'S NOT A DANCE.Copy !req
453. IT'S JUST
EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION.Copy !req
454. - HEY, WHY IS WENDY
WEARING A BIG HELMET?Copy !req
455. - OH, THAT'S TO KEEP HER BRAINS
FROM SPILLING OUT.Copy !req
456. - IS SHE HURT?Copy !req
457. - WELL, AS I TOLD WENDY,
AS LONG AS NO ONE TOUCHES HER,Copy !req
458. SHE'S FINE,
AND IF SHE GETS HIT,Copy !req
459. I'LL FIX HER UP
WITH ONE OF THESE.Copy !req
460. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
461. - SO SHE'LL WEAR A BASEBALL CAP
THE REST OF HER LIFE.Copy !req
462. SO DOES RON HOWARD.Copy !req
463. - WHY WOULD WENDY RISK HER LIFE
FOR A GAME?Copy !req
464. - SHE'S PROBABLY DOING IT
TO IMPRESS YOU.Copy !req
465. YOU'RE HER FATHER.Copy !req
466. - I'M NOT HER FATHER.Copy !req
467. IN FACT,
WE BARELY EVEN TALKEDCopy !req
468. UNTIL SHE STARTED
PLAYING FOOTBALL,Copy !req
469. BUT NOW WE'RE REALLY CLOSE,
AND...Copy !req
470. - AHHH!Copy !req
471. - HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN
SO BLIND?Copy !req
472. - LOOKS LIKE TONY "ROBO" LOBO
IS CLOSING IN FOR THE KILL.Copy !req
473. - WENDY, GET OFF THE FIELD.Copy !req
474. - BUT THE GAME'S ON THE LINE.Copy !req
475. WHY WOULD YOU WANT ME
TO DO THAT?Copy !req
476. - BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.Copy !req
477. I MEAN,
NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY.Copy !req
478. THAT'D BE
WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE,Copy !req
479. NOT THAT I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE CUTE,Copy !req
480. BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY, VERY—
OH, THANK GOD.Copy !req
481. HERE COMES TONY.Copy !req
482. ARGH!Copy !req
483. OHHHH!Copy !req
484. GAME... OVER.Copy !req
485. - FLAG ON THE PLAY.Copy !req
486. WAIT. THEY'RE CALLING
FAN INTERFERENCE.Copy !req
487. - HEY, IT'S AGAINST THE GUY
IN THE ELECTRIC COWBOY SUIT.Copy !req
488. I DON'T BELIEVE IT.Copy !req
489. THE REFS ARE CALLING IT
A FORFEIT.Copy !req
490. BOBCATS LOSE.Copy !req
491. - THAT POOR SAP PICKED THE
WRONG NIGHT TO BLOW THE GAME.Copy !req
492. IT'S CROWBAR NIGHT.Copy !req
493. - UH-OH.Copy !req
494. - CONOR, WE CAN'T WAIT
TILL HALFTIME.Copy !req
495. LET'S DO IT.Copy !req
496. - HELLO.Copy !req
497. YOU PEOPLE THINK
THAT THE ONLY FUN THINGSCopy !req
498. ARE FOOTBALL AND LYNCHINGS,Copy !req
499. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
EVEN BETTER.Copy !req
500. IT'S CALLED DANCE.Copy !req
501. HIT IT, CLETE.Copy !req
502. - STOP!
YOU'LL OPEN THE GATES OF HELL.Copy !req
503. - REVEREND, YOU KEPT ME
FROM DANCING AT MY PROMCopy !req
504. AND ON THE GRAVE OF MY ENEMY.Copy !req
505. HELL, YOU EVEN CHASTISED ME
FOR DOING THE PEE-PEE DANCECopy !req
506. OUTSIDE
THE STUCKEY'S MEN'S ROOM.Copy !req
507. WE WANT TO DANCE.Copy !req
508. - I QUIT, BOSS.Copy !req
509. WHOO, FREE WILLIE.Copy !req
510. HEE-HEE!Copy !req
511. - THANKS FOR TAKING THE HIT
FOR ME, DR. MARTIN.Copy !req
512. - EHH, I'D DO IT
FOR ANY OF MY KIDS.Copy !req
513. - REALLY?Copy !req
514. - I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, CONOR.Copy !req
515. NOW THAT THIS TOWN
IS MORE OPEN-MINDED,Copy !req
516. JOSH AND I CAN DANCE
AT OUR WEDDIN'.Copy !req
517. - WHAT?Copy !req
518. - OH, HE'S NOT SMART
OR PARTICULARLY NICE TO ME,Copy !req
519. BUT HE'S STILL A JOCK.Copy !req
520. - OHHH.Copy !req
521. - OH, DON'T WORRY, CONOR.Copy !req
522. WHO NEEDS A GIRL
WHEN YOU HAVE MOMMY?Copy !req
523. - NOOOO, I SAY.Copy !req
524. NOOOOO.Copy !req
525. I WARNED YOU!Copy !req
526. - YEAH, I THINK THESE PEOPLE
ARE GONNA REMEMBER USCopy !req
527. FOR A LONG TIME.Copy !req