1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. RIVERBOAT CASINOS,Copy !req
15. THE FAMOUSLY SUPERSTITIOUS
POPULATION...Copy !req
16. IS THERE ANY GREATER SCENTCopy !req
17. THAN TRADITIONAL
SOUTHERN BARBECUE?Copy !req
18. - DR. MARTIN, THAT'S ACTUALLY
A BOOK BURNING.Copy !req
19. YOU'RE SMELLING
HARRY POTTER NOVELS.Copy !req
20. - WELL, WHATEVER IT IS,
THEY SHOULD BOTTLE ITCopy !req
21. AND SLAP IT ON SOME RIBS,
BECAUSE IT'S MAKING ME HUNGRY.Copy !req
22. - THIS STORE HAD THE QUAINTEST
BOBBLES, TRINKETS, AND DOODADS.Copy !req
23. - AGH!
I LOVE BOBBLES AND TRINKETS.Copy !req
24. BUT FOR SOME REASON,
I'VE ALWAYS HATED DOODADS.Copy !req
25. - WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.Copy !req
26. I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING.Copy !req
27. - WHAT?
NOT EVEN A DOODAD?Copy !req
28. - MATCHING SEERSUCKER
PANTSUITS.Copy !req
29. I LOVE IT.Copy !req
30. - I DON'T, BUT I'M NOT PAID
FOR MY OPINION.Copy !req
31. SO I LOVE IT TOO.Copy !req
32. - A STARFISH?Copy !req
33. STARFISH ARE LAME.Copy !req
34. I LIKE SEAHORSES.Copy !req
35. YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.Copy !req
36. - OH, GOD, IT'S TRUE.Copy !req
37. MY BABY'S GROWING UP,
AND I DON'T KNOW HIM AT ALL.Copy !req
38. - LOOK, WE GOT TO GET GOINGCopy !req
39. IF WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
SARGE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.Copy !req
40. HEY, IF CONOR'S
NOT GOING TO WEAR THIS,Copy !req
41. CAN I EXCHANGE IT
FOR A DOODAD?Copy !req
42. - SO WHO IS THIS SARGE GUY,
ANYWAY?Copy !req
43. - ONE OF MY OLD ARMY BUDDIES.Copy !req
44. THEY WERE THE BEST GROUP OF GUYS
I'VE EVER KNOWN.Copy !req
45. - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN
THE ARMY, DR. MARTIN.Copy !req
46. - YEP, FIRST GULF WAR.
THE ONE WE WON.Copy !req
47. I WAS ASSIGNED TO A DENTAL UNIT
SURGICAL HOSPITAL,Copy !req
48. OTHERWISE KNOW AS D.U.S.H.Copy !req
49. I WAS STATIONED IN THE CAPITAL
OF THE ARAB WORLD—Copy !req
50. DEARBORN, MICHIGAN.Copy !req
51. DETROIT'S ON FIRE AGAIN.Copy !req
52. PISTONS MUST HAVE JUST WON
THE CHAMPIONSHIP.Copy !req
53. - WE NEED A DENTIST HERE!Copy !req
54. - OUR BOYS OVERSEAS WERE GREAT
AT FIGHTING SADDAM,Copy !req
55. BUT NOT SO GOOD
AT FIGHTING PLAQUE.Copy !req
56. THIS MAN HAS TARTAR BUILDUP
ON HIS MAXILLARY FIRST PREMOLAR.Copy !req
57. WHY!Copy !req
58. IT WAS EYE-HAWK, OUR
WISECRACKING ORAL SURGEON...Copy !req
59. - DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL
THE TOOTH, THE WHOLE TOOTH,Copy !req
60. AND NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH?Copy !req
61. STILL MAKES ME LAUGH.Copy !req
62. AND THEN THERE'S JERSEY PETE.Copy !req
63. HE WAS FROM JERSEY.Copy !req
64. - BOB'S YOUR
UNCLE AND ALL THAT, RIGHT?Copy !req
65. - KIPLINGER,
HE WAS CROSS-DRESSINGCopy !req
66. TO GET KICKED OUT OF THE ARMY,Copy !req
67. THOUGH I'M NOT SURE WHY
HE WAS ALWAYS TRYINGCopy !req
68. TO KISS ME ON THE LIPS
WHEN NO ONE WAS AROUND.Copy !req
69. - FINALLY, THERE WAS
OUR FATHER FIGURE, SARGE.Copy !req
70. I NEVER KNEW WHY
THEY CALLED HIM SARGE,Copy !req
71. THOUGH HE SURE
WAS A GREAT SERGEANT.Copy !req
72. AFTER THE MADNESS WAS OVER,Copy !req
73. WE ALL WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS,Copy !req
74. EXCEPT FOR THE FOUR OF THEM.Copy !req
75. THEY OPENED UP THEIR OWN
DENTAL PRACTICE TOGETHER.Copy !req
76. I TELL YOU, THE BOND I FELT
WITH THOSE GUYSCopy !req
77. HAS NEVER BEEN REPLICATED.Copy !req
78. - WHAT ABOUT US, DAD?Copy !req
79. - NEVER BEEN REPLICATED.Copy !req
80. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, CONOR,Copy !req
81. THESE GUYS WERE LIKE FAMILY
TO ME.Copy !req
82. - IF YOU WERE SO CLOSE,Copy !req
83. WHY DIDN'T THEY ASK YOU
TO JOIN THEIR PRACTICE?Copy !req
84. - THE GUYS DIDN'T WANT TO MIX
BUSINESS WITH FRIENDSHIP.Copy !req
85. - BUT ISN'T THAT EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE DOING?Copy !req
86. - OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
87. WELL, I ADMIT THERE ARE
SOME SIMILARITIES,Copy !req
88. SOME OF THEM GLARING.Copy !req
89. - YEAH, YOUR BUDDY SARGE
IS TWITTERING.Copy !req
90. "JUMPING OUT OF AIRPLANE
TO CELEBRATE BIRTHDAY.Copy !req
91. "BEAUTIFUL VIEW.Copy !req
92. "PULLING RIPCORD,
CHUTE NOT OPENING.Copy !req
93. BACKUP CHUTE NOT—"Copy !req
94. - NOT WHAT?Copy !req
95. AH, THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.Copy !req
96. I'LL HAVE TO ASK SARGE
WHEN I SEE HIM.Copy !req
97. I CAN'T BELIEVE SARGE IS DEAD.Copy !req
98. GLENN MARTIN.Copy !req
99. THE BIGGEST D.U.S.H. THAT EVER
WALKED THE PLANET.Copy !req
100. - EYE-HAWK,
JERSEY PETE...Copy !req
101. - HELLO.Copy !req
102. - KIPLINGER.Copy !req
103. - mwah!Copy !req
104. - YOU RASCAL.Copy !req
105. HE'S STILL TRYING TO GET OUT
OF THE SERVICECopy !req
106. 20 YEARS AFTER GETTING OUT
OF THE SERVICE.Copy !req
107. - SHAME ABOUT SARGE.Copy !req
108. - YEAH, WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS,Copy !req
109. I ALMOST CRASHED MY MASERATI
INTO JERSEY'S PETE'S MASERATI.Copy !req
110. - YOU GUYS BOTH DRIVE MASERATIS?Copy !req
111. WOW, THIS PRACTICE
YOU EXCLUDED ME FROMCopy !req
112. SOUNDS REALLY EXCLUSIVE.Copy !req
113. - HI, FELLAS.Copy !req
114. - OH, GOOD, THE STRIPPER'S HERE.Copy !req
115. - AH, SHAME.Copy !req
116. THE BIRTHDAY BOY DIED.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO.Copy !req
117. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
STAY.Copy !req
118. AFTER ALL, THIS IS A CELEBRATION
OF LIFE.Copy !req
119. BUT STRIP SLOWLY, YOU KNOW,
OUT OF RESPECT.Copy !req
120. - NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
121. I'LL BE SURE
TO KEEP MY SHOES ON.Copy !req
122. - UH-OH, IT FEELS LIKE THE SOUTH
HAS MORE FORTUNE TELLERSCopy !req
123. THAN RACIST SHERIFFS.Copy !req
124. - THIS IS SO SAD.Copy !req
125. THESE POOR GULLIBLE PEOPLE
ARE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.Copy !req
126. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING
WE COULD DO.Copy !req
127. - I AGREE.Copy !req
128. WE'RE GOING TO NEED A CARDBOARD
TABLE, A CRYSTAL BALL,Copy !req
129. AND A DEAD CHICKEN.Copy !req
130. - JUST SAY THE WORD, BOSS.Copy !req
131. - SO, FUNERALS...
AM I RIGHT?Copy !req
132. - I GUESS SO.Copy !req
133. - CONOR, I'M SORRY
I LET US GROW APART.Copy !req
134. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE STOPPED
BREAST-FEEDING YOU.Copy !req
135. - I BEGGED YOU NOT TO.Copy !req
136. - YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?Copy !req
137. SOMETHING WE CAN DO TOGETHER?Copy !req
138. BUT WHAT?Copy !req
139. WE'VE ALREADY TRIED
STAMP COLLECTING.Copy !req
140. - AND YOU DON'T SEEM INTERESTED
IN ADDING TO MY BOOGER WALL.Copy !req
141. - HOLD ON.Copy !req
142. ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?Copy !req
143. - DEPENDS.
ARE YOU THINKING OF PUKING?Copy !req
144. - NO!Copy !req
145. WE'RE BOTH EXTREME EATERS.Copy !req
146. - OH, AWESOME!Copy !req
147. - COME HERE, YOU.Copy !req
148. - HEY, YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO
BREAST-FEED ME AGAIN, ARE YOU?Copy !req
149. - AH, JUST LIKE SARGECopy !req
150. TO DELIVER A PIZZA
TO HIS OWN FUNERAL.Copy !req
151. - IS A PIZZA SUPPOSED
TO HAVE HAIR AND TEETH?Copy !req
152. - GUYS, THIS ISN'T A PIZZA.Copy !req
153. IT'S SARGE.
HE HIT THE GROUND PRETTY HARD.Copy !req
154. - YEAH, WELL,
IT HIT ME PRETTY HARDCopy !req
155. WHEN I REALIZED HOW MUCH MONEY
YOU GUYS ARE MAKING WITHOUT ME.Copy !req
156. - GLENN, ARE YOU UPSET?Copy !req
157. TELL THE TOOTH, THE WHOLE TOOTH,
AND NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH.Copy !req
158. - NO, NO.
NOT THIS TIME EYE-HAWK.Copy !req
159. YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO DISTRACT MECopy !req
160. WITH THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE.Copy !req
161. COME ON, MARTIN FAMILY,
WE'RE LEAVING.Copy !req
162. A LITTLE RESPECT FOR THE DEAD.Copy !req
163. IRONICALLY, SARGE WAS SICILIAN.Copy !req
164. - GREAT NEWS—CONOR AND ICopy !req
165. BOTTOMLESS STOMACHS.Copy !req
166. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER
I'M BURSTING WITH HAPPINESSCopy !req
167. OR FRIED CHICKEN.Copy !req
168. - ALL THESE YEARS,
MY SO-CALLED FRIENDSCopy !req
169. HAVE BEEN LIVING IT UP
GETTING RICHCopy !req
170. AND HERE I AM
COMPLETELY LEFT OUT.Copy !req
171. I'VE NEVER HAVE FELT
LESS LIKE A D.U.S.H.Copy !req
172. - YEAH, I KNOW IT HURTS, HONEY,Copy !req
173. BUT YOU HAVE US—
ISN'T THAT WHAT'S IMPORTANT?Copy !req
174. - NO!
THEY HAVE CARS!Copy !req
175. I WANT CARS.Copy !req
176. I'M GOING TO HAVE A WORD
WITH THE GUYS.Copy !req
177. - OH, MARTIN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
178. CAN I INTEREST YOU
IN A WHITE RUSSIAN?Copy !req
179. SEX ON THE BEACH?
SLIPPERY NIPPLE?Copy !req
180. OR HOW ABOUT A DRINK?Copy !req
181. - VERY FUNNY, EYE-HAWK.Copy !req
182. HONESTLY, I FOUND THAT
VERY, VERY FUNNY.Copy !req
183. BUT I'M FURIOUS AT ALL OF YOU.Copy !req
184. WE WENT THROUGH WAR TOGETHER.Copy !req
185. WE WERE THE FIVE
THREE MUSKETEERS.Copy !req
186. THEN YOU ALL STARTED A PRACTICE
TOGETHER AND LEAVE ME OUT.Copy !req
187. - GLENN, YOU NEED
A SPECIAL KIND OF MAN HUGCopy !req
188. THAT CAN ONLY BE SHARED BETWEEN
A MAN AND A MAN IN A DRESS.Copy !req
189. - WHAT I NEED IS
TO BE INCLUDED IN YOUR GROUP.Copy !req
190. I WANT IN.Copy !req
191. - DON'T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY,
MATE.Copy !req
192. WE DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS YOUR SPEED.Copy !req
193. - NO, GLENN'S RIGHT.Copy !req
194. A BROTHER NEVER LEAVES
ANOTHER BROTHER BEHIND.Copy !req
195. - DID SOMEONE SAY,
"BROTHER'S BEHIND?"Copy !req
196. - BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,
ONCE WE TAKE YOU IN,Copy !req
197. THERE'S NO GOING BACK.Copy !req
198. - HEY, YOU BACKED OUT ON ME,Copy !req
199. BUT I WOULD NEVER BACK OUT
ON YOU.Copy !req
200. - OKAY, GLENN, YOU'RE IN,Copy !req
201. AND I'M SURE YOU'VE ALREADYCopy !req
202. WE DIDN'T GET RICH
PRACTICING DENTISTRY—Copy !req
203. WE ROB CASINOS.Copy !req
204. - THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR.Copy !req
205. WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART
AGAIN?Copy !req
206. - REMEMBER THE THREE RULESCopy !req
207. LIE, LIE,
AND GET PAID UPFRONT.Copy !req
208. - I DON'T KNOW, COURTNEY.Copy !req
209. HOW CAN WE BE SURE
THAT PEOPLE WHO GET THEIR NEWSCopy !req
210. FROM AMMO MAGAZINES ARE GOING TO
BE SUSCEPTIBLE TO FLIMFLAMMERY?Copy !req
211. - SERIOUSLY?Copy !req
212. - OKAY, BUT IT STILL SEEMS
UNETHICAL.Copy !req
213. - ALL RIGHT, OUR FIRST CUSTOMER.Copy !req
214. WELCOME, MILKY-EYED STRANGER.Copy !req
215. - THE NAME'S ERASMUS.Copy !req
216. I WANT YOU TO CONTACT
MY DEAD POODLE CALPURNIA.Copy !req
217. I'LL PAY YOU $200 IN DIMES.Copy !req
218. - WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?Copy !req
219. - ERASMUS.
- NO, AFTER THAT.Copy !req
220. - DIMES.
- BETWEEN THOSE.Copy !req
221. - $200?Copy !req
222. - HAVE A SEAT, MR. ERASMUS.Copy !req
223. - WELCOME TO THE HEIST, GLENN.Copy !req
224. I'M IN CHARGE OF ELECTRONICS,
GIN AND TONICS,Copy !req
225. AND DEALING WITH HISTRIONICS.Copy !req
226. - WHY, YOU.Copy !req
227. IF I WEREN'T PRETENDING
TO BE A LADY...Copy !req
228. - GLENN, SINCE YOU'RE GOOD
WITH A DRILL,Copy !req
229. YOU'LL TAKE OVER SARGE'S ROLE
OF SAFECRACKER.Copy !req
230. ANY QUESTIONS?Copy !req
231. - YEAH, WOULDN'T IT BE
MORE THRILLINGCopy !req
232. IF WE DIDN'T STEAL?Copy !req
233. WHAT IF WE INVESTED OUR MONEY
IN THE AUTO INDUSTRY?Copy !req
234. HUH?
THAT'D BE JUST AS RISKY.Copy !req
235. - GLENN, I CAN TELL
YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS,Copy !req
236. BUT I ASSURE YOU,
WE'RE DOING NOTHING WRONG.Copy !req
237. WE'RE JUST TAKING BACK
THE MONEYCopy !req
238. THAT THE EVIL CASINO HAS STOLEN
FROM GOOD, HARDWORKING PEOPLE.Copy !req
239. - SO WE'RE GIVING THE MONEY
BACK.Copy !req
240. - WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR SHARE
IS UP TO YOU.Copy !req
241. I SHALL PURCHASE A GOLD HAT
TO MATCH ME GOLD SHOES.Copy !req
242. - DON'T WORRY,
NO ONE'S GOING TO GET HURT,Copy !req
243. UNLESS SOMEONE WANDERS BY AND I
HAVE TO STAB HIM IN THE LUNGS.Copy !req
244. THERE GOES EYE-HAWK
BEING FUNNY AGAIN.Copy !req
245. - GLENN, HE'S NEVER BEEN FUNNY
IN HIS LIFE.Copy !req
246. - MMM, THESE PIG KNUCKLES
ARE JUST AS GOOD AS THEY LOOK.Copy !req
247. - MMM.
PALLET CLEANSER!Copy !req
248. - WOW!
WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.Copy !req
249. IF ONLY THERE WAS PLATFORM
WHERE WE COULD SHOW THE WORLDCopy !req
250. JUST HOW SIMILAR WE ARE.Copy !req
251. - YOU MEAN, BESIDES THAT
PARENT/CHILD EATING CONTEST?Copy !req
252. - OH, WE ARE SO
GOING TO WIN THAT.Copy !req
253. - MADAME WENDY...Copy !req
254. TELL US WHAT YOU SEE.Copy !req
255. - THERE'S A FIGURE EMERGINGCopy !req
256. FROM THE FOG.Copy !req
257. A POODLE.Copy !req
258. - MY POODLE CALPURNIA
WAS A POODLE.Copy !req
259. - SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING.Copy !req
260. "WOOF! WOOF!"Copy !req
261. - THAT'S WHAT CALPURNIA
USED TO SAY.Copy !req
262. THAT WAS HER CATCHPHRASE.Copy !req
263. - YOU KNOW,
FOR AN EXTRA 20 BUCKSCopy !req
264. WE MAKE SURE THAT CALPURNIA
GETS TO EAT JESUS' TABLE SCRAPSCopy !req
265. IN HEAVEN.Copy !req
266. - OOH!
I BET JESUS HAS A FINE SPREAD.Copy !req
267. - woof! woof!Copy !req
268. - CALPURNIA'S ALIVE?Copy !req
269. BUT YOU SAID SHE WAS DEAD.Copy !req
270. - NO, YOU SAID SHE WAS DEAD.Copy !req
271. I GUESS SHE HAS ARISEN.
IT'S A MIRACLE.Copy !req
272. - YOU PULLED THE WOOL
OVER THE WRONG MILKY EYE.Copy !req
273. - I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
274. - ERASMUS CURSES YOUCopy !req
275. WITH THIS DUST GROUND
FROM LUCIFER'S HEART.Copy !req
276. - AH!Copy !req
277. - I JUST PUT THE DEVIL IN YOU.Copy !req
278. - COURTNEY, I'M SCARED.
I FEEL SICK.Copy !req
279. - DON'T BE SILLY.Copy !req
280. YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE
HE PUT THE DEVIL IN YOU.Copy !req
281. - YEE-HA!Copy !req
282. TAKE THAT, STOMACH!Copy !req
283. - YEAH, IT'S PROBABLY JUST
ALL IN MY HEAD.Copy !req
284. - CONOR AND I HAVE GOT
THIS EVENT WRAPPED UP.Copy !req
285. HE IS AN EATING MACHINE.Copy !req
286. - SO, PATCH THINGS UP
WITH THE GUYS?Copy !req
287. - YEP, BACK TO BEING
THICK AS THIEVES.Copy !req
288. WHY DID I SAY,
"THICK AS THIEVES?"Copy !req
289. WE'RE NOT ROBBING A CASINO.Copy !req
290. WHY DID I SAY,
"ROBBING A CASINO?"Copy !req
291. THAT'S NOT EVEN AN EXPRESSION.Copy !req
292. - GLENN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
293. YOU SEEM DISTRACTED.Copy !req
294. - NO, NO, I'M NOT.Copy !req
295. I'M JUST DISTRACTED.Copy !req
296. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?Copy !req
297. SARGE?
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.Copy !req
298. YOU SHOWED UP IN MY DREAM
RIGHT WHEN I'M FEELING GUILTY.Copy !req
299. - WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, SON?Copy !req
300. - I LOVE THE GUYS,
BUT FOR SOME REASON,Copy !req
301. COMMITTING A SERIOUS CRIME
DOESN'T SEEM LEGAL TO ME.Copy !req
302. - SON, IF YOUR GUT
IS TELLING YOU THIS IS WRONG,Copy !req
303. YOU SHOULD BACK OUT.Copy !req
304. IF THEY'RE TRULY YOUR FRIENDS,
THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.Copy !req
305. - OH, SARGE, YOU ALWAYS KNEW
WHICH WAY THE WIND WAS BLOWING.Copy !req
306. I GUESS THAT'S WHY
IT'S SO APPROPRIATECopy !req
307. THAT YOU WERE IMPALED
BY A WEATHER VANE.Copy !req
308. - STILL TOO SOON, GLENN.Copy !req
309. - MOMMY?Copy !req
310. WHY ARE YOU SITTING ON
AN ELEPHANT'S TRUNK?Copy !req
311. AND WHY CAN'T I LOOK AWAY?Copy !req
312. WOW, I'M SUPPRESSING
A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF.Copy !req
313. - PICK IT UP, GUYS.Copy !req
314. FIVE MORE SECONDS.Copy !req
315. - DAMN THIS HOOP DRESS.Copy !req
316. I SHOULD HAVE WORN
MY YOGA PANTS.Copy !req
317. - GENTLEMEN.Copy !req
318. KIPLINGER, I SEE YOU'RE WEARING
MY FAVORITE HOOP SKIRT.Copy !req
319. - DRILL MAN, YOU'RE LATE.Copy !req
320. I'M ALREADY ON MY SECOND MARTINI
AND THIRD HAWAIIAN SHIRT.Copy !req
321. - WHAT IF I BROUGHT DONUTS?Copy !req
322. - THEN YOU'RE FIVE MINUTES
EARLY.Copy !req
323. - COFFEE AND DONUTS
FOR EVERYONE.Copy !req
324. MONJA!Copy !req
325. OH, AND I'M QUITTING THE HEIST.Copy !req
326. SEE YOU LATER!Copy !req
327. - GLENN, IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL
TO BE A LITTLE NERVOUSCopy !req
328. THE FIRST TIME.Copy !req
329. - I WAS NERVOUS
BOTH MY FIRST TIMES.Copy !req
330. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, JERSEY PETE?Copy !req
331. - BLIMEY.Copy !req
332. - HERE, YOU'LL FEEL
MORE CONFIDENTCopy !req
333. WEARING SARGE'S
LUCKY SAFECRACKING VEST.Copy !req
334. - GUYS, I JUST CAN'T DO IT.Copy !req
335. I GOT A FAMILY TO THINK ABOUT.Copy !req
336. - WE FIGURED YOU MIGHT
FEEL THAT WAY.Copy !req
337. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
A BACKUP PLAN.Copy !req
338. - OH, GREAT.
BACKUP PLAN.Copy !req
339. - THE VEST YOU'RE WEARING
IS LOADED WITH EXPLOSIVES.Copy !req
340. - WHAT?Copy !req
341. - YOU TAKE THAT OFF,
AND YOU'LL BE IN MORE PIECESCopy !req
342. THAN THE BRITISH EMPIRE.Copy !req
343. - I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY
"PIECES" OR "PLACES?"Copy !req
344. - DOES IT MATTER?Copy !req
345. - UM, I GUESS IT WORKS
BOTH WAYS.Copy !req
346. - BEHOLD, CONOR.Copy !req
347. BEFORE YOU STANDS THE GREATEST
COLLECTION OF PIGS, GLUTTONS,Copy !req
348. AND FATSOS
OUTSIDE OF AN ETHNIC WEDDING.Copy !req
349. - WHO ARE THEY?Copy !req
350. - AH, THOSE ARE THE HAMACHIS.Copy !req
351. DON'T LET THEIR DIMINUTIVE SIZE
FOOL YOU.Copy !req
352. RUMOR HAS IT, THEY ONCE ATE
THEIR WAY OUT OF A WHALE.Copy !req
353. - YOU IN WRONG PLACE, RED.Copy !req
354. LOSERVILLE, NINE MILES THAT WAY.Copy !req
355. - DON'T TELL ME
WHERE LOSERVILLE IS.Copy !req
356. I LIVE IN A VAN;
I'M PRACTICALLY THE MAYOR.Copy !req
357. - HUH!
YOU TELL HER, MOM.Copy !req
358. - AH, STUPID!Copy !req
359. - SO WHAT ARE WE JAMMING DOWN
OUR THROATS, ANYWAY?Copy !req
360. - WHAT MAKES THIS RIVERBOAT
EATING CONTEST DIFFERENTCopy !req
361. IS THAT THE FEATURED FOOD
ISN'T REVEALEDCopy !req
362. UNTIL MINUTES BEFORE
THE CONTEST.Copy !req
363. ALSO, WE GET FAT SIMON HERE
TO ROCK THE BOAT.Copy !req
364. - blah!Copy !req
365. - HEY, HONEY.Copy !req
366. - HEY, DAD.
- WHOA, DON'T HUG ME!Copy !req
367. YOU HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET.Copy !req
368. - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,Copy !req
369. HERE IS THE ANNOUNCEMENT
YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.Copy !req
370. THE FOOD FOR THIS YEAR'S
EATING CONTEST IS...Copy !req
371. AVATAR!Copy !req
372. I'M KIDDING, IT'S SHRIMP.Copy !req
373. - OH, NO.
I'M DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO SHRIMP.Copy !req
374. WATCH THIS.Copy !req
375. OH, I'M SO SORRY, SWEETIE.Copy !req
376. - I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD
TO LAST.Copy !req
377. I'LL TELL THE JUDGE
WE'RE DROPPING OUT.Copy !req
378. - I THINK THAT WE SHOULD
CALL IT A DAY.Copy !req
379. I'M NOT FEELING WELL.Copy !req
380. smack!
OW!Copy !req
381. - GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.Copy !req
382. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS—Copy !req
383. AH!
OH, MY GOSH!Copy !req
384. I GOT GUM IN MY HAIR.Copy !req
385. THIS KIND OF THING
DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME.Copy !req
386. WENDY, I'M STARTING TO THINK
THIS CURSE MAY BE REAL.Copy !req
387. - THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU.Copy !req
388. - AND WHEN EVERYONE'S WATCHING
THE EATING CONTEST,Copy !req
389. WE'LL MAKE OUR MOVE.Copy !req
390. IN A FEW SHORT HOURS,
WE'LL BE SIPPING MARGARITASCopy !req
391. ON A RIVERBOAT.Copy !req
392. WELL, A DIFFERENT RIVERBOAT.Copy !req
393. - WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME, GLENN.Copy !req
394. WE THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING
COLD FEET,Copy !req
395. AND WE'D HAVE TO BLOW YOU UP.Copy !req
396. - HA, HA, NO.
NO COLD FEET.Copy !req
397. ACTUALLY I WAS BLOWING UP
THE BATHROOM ON THE LETO DECK.Copy !req
398. ORDINARILY,
I'D HAVE LIT A MATCH,Copy !req
399. BUT I DIDN'T THINK
IT'D BE A GOOD IDEACopy !req
400. ON ACCOUNT OF THE DYNAMITE.Copy !req
401. - WELL, GOT TO GO.
I'M THE LOOKOUT.Copy !req
402. SO... LOOK OUT!Copy !req
403. - I BETTER GET GOING
AND GET A HEAD START,Copy !req
404. ON ACCOUNT OF ME HAVING
GOLD SHOES.Copy !req
405. - GLENN, I KNOW I PUT YOU
IN A TOUGH POSITION,Copy !req
406. THREATENING TO BLOW YOU UP
AND ALL.Copy !req
407. AFTER THIS, I HOPE
WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS.Copy !req
408. - NOT A CHANCE.Copy !req
409. WELL, DINNER AND A MAGIC SHOW
COULD BE FUN.Copy !req
410. - JUST DRILL LIKE
THERE'S NO TOMORROW.Copy !req
411. 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
THERE IS NO TOMORROW.Copy !req
412. - OH...Copy !req
413. - GLENN, YOU HAVE TO TAKE
MY PLACE IN THE EATING CONTEST.Copy !req
414. - I CAN'T DO IT.
SEE, THE GUYS—Copy !req
415. - WHAT IS SO
LIFE AND DEATH IMPORTANTCopy !req
416. THAT YOU CAN'T SPARE
12 LOUSY MINUTESCopy !req
417. OVEREATING WITH YOUR SON?Copy !req
418. - YOU DON'T WANT TO SET ME OFF,
JACKIE.Copy !req
419. I AM THIS CLOSE TO EXPLODING.Copy !req
420. - I DON'T WANT TO LET CONOR
DOWN.Copy !req
421. I KNOW HOW BADLY
HE WANTS TO WIN THIS.Copy !req
422. - YEAH, BUT—Copy !req
423. - DID I MENTION
IT'S ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP?Copy !req
424. - OKAY, BUT I'M ONLY DOING THIS
FOR CONOR.Copy !req
425. THE SHRIMP IS JUST A REWARD
FOR DOING IT FOR CONOR.Copy !req
426. - CONTESTANTS, READY.Copy !req
427. AND GORGE YOURSELF!Copy !req
428. - YOO-HOO!Copy !req
429. AND PUNCH!Copy !req
430. ding!Copy !req
431. - YEAH!
GO, DAD, GO!Copy !req
432. - GLENN!
EAT THAT SHRIMP!Copy !req
433. - OKAY, GOTTA GO!
- YEAH, DAD.Copy !req
434. ding!Copy !req
435. - OOH, MY MISTAKE.Copy !req
436. YOU MIGHT WANT
TO WEAR A SIGN THAT READS,Copy !req
437. "NOT IN EATING CONTEST."Copy !req
438. - STUPID BUTTER.Copy !req
439. ding!Copy !req
440. - GO, DAD, GO.
YEAH.Copy !req
441. EAT THOSE SHRIMP.Copy !req
442. - OKAY.Copy !req
443. WHAT'S THAT?
- OH, GOTTA GO!Copy !req
444. GOOD LUCK, CONOR.Copy !req
445. MAYBE SOMETHING FOR THE ROAD.
- HUH?Copy !req
446. - GOTTA CRACK SHRIMP.
I MEAN, SAFE.Copy !req
447. - COME ON, CONOR,
YOU CAN DO IT.Copy !req
448. - I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BREATHE.Copy !req
449. THROAT CONSTRICTING...Copy !req
450. CAN'T MOVE JOINTS...Copy !req
451. - OH, MY GOD, MY BABY.Copy !req
452. YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO SHRIMP.Copy !req
453. NOW WE HAVE SOMETHING ELSE
IN COMMON!Copy !req
454. - UGH!Copy !req
455. - YOU KEEP EATING.
WE CAN WIN THIS.Copy !req
456. - WOW, I DID IT.Copy !req
457. - CHANGE OF PLANS, GLENN.Copy !req
458. I'M TAKING IT ALL FOR MYSELF.Copy !req
459. - AND I'M CHANGING
YOUR CHANGE OF PLANS.Copy !req
460. - OR ARE YOU, MATE?Copy !req
461. - HEY, WHOA, WHOA.Copy !req
462. GUYS, THERE'S ENOUGH
STOLEN MONEY FOR ALL OF YOU.Copy !req
463. YOU MIGHT BE
BACKSTABBING CRIMINALS,Copy !req
464. BUT YOU'RE STILL FRIENDS.Copy !req
465. SHRIMP?Copy !req
466. OH!Copy !req
467. BOY, EVEN FOR DENTISTS
YOU'RE TERRIBLE SHOTS.Copy !req
468. SEE, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU MIX BUSINESSCopy !req
469. WITH FRIENDSHIP
AND CRIME.Copy !req
470. YOU GUYS SHOULD DROP YOUR GUNS
TO THE FLOOR.Copy !req
471. THAT WOULD BE A REAL
D.U.S.H. MOVE.Copy !req
472. - MARTIN'S RIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?Copy !req
473. SARGE HAS ONLY BEEN GONE
FOR FIVE DAYS,Copy !req
474. AND LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE BECOME.Copy !req
475. - SARGE'S GHOST?Copy !req
476. WHEN DID YOU BECOME OPAQUE
AND GET YOUR WEATHER VANE OUT?Copy !req
477. - FOOLS, I FAKED MY OWN DEATH
SO I COULD DOUBLE-CROSS YOU.Copy !req
478. - SO THAT REALLY WAS A PIZZA
IN THE BOX.Copy !req
479. - NO, IT WAS A GUY
WHO ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS.Copy !req
480. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN A GUY,
"WHO ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS?"Copy !req
481. AND FOLLOW-UP,
HOW MANY QUESTIONS IS TOO MANY?Copy !req
482. - SHUT UP AND PUT THAT MONEY
IN MY OLD D.U.S.H. BAG.Copy !req
483. OH, AND GIVE ME BACK
MY LUCKY VEST.Copy !req
484. - SARGE, I WOULDN'T DO THAT.Copy !req
485. - I SAID NOW!Copy !req
486. - HASTA LA SAYONARA, SUCKERS.Copy !req
487. - STRIPPER FLYING A HELICOPTER.
NOW, THAT'S CLASS.Copy !req
488. - BUT, SARGE, THE VEST—Copy !req
489. boom!Copy !req
490. IT'S FILLED WITH DYNAMITE!Copy !req
491. - BA-NAY-NAYS.Copy !req
492. TUSCAN BRUSCHETTA.Copy !req
493. GNOCCHI ALLA FUNGHI.Copy !req
494. - MR. ERASMUS,
IT'S WENDY AND COURTNEY,Copy !req
495. YOU KNOW, THE GIRLS YOU PUT
THE DEVIL INTO.Copy !req
496. - YEAH.Copy !req
497. - WE ARE SO SORRY WE PRETENDED
WE COULD TALK TO YOUR DOG.Copy !req
498. - WE PROMISE WE'LL NEVER
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANYONE AGAIN.Copy !req
499. - OKAY, ERASMUS
WILL REMOVE THE CURSE,Copy !req
500. BUT ON ONE CONDITION.Copy !req
501. - ANYTHING, YOU NAME IT.
- NAME IT.Copy !req
502. - YOU CONTACT MY DEAD PARAKEET
ATTICUS.Copy !req
503. BUT THIS TIME,
NO FUNNY BUSINESS.Copy !req
504. - HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE.Copy !req
505. I'LL YOUR TONGUE
AS LONG AS YOU NEED ME TO.Copy !req
506. I LOVE YOU, MOM.Copy !req
507. - GLENN, WE JUST WANT
TO LET YOU KNOWCopy !req
508. WHY WE NEVER INCLUDED YOU
BEFORE—Copy !req
509. IT'S BECAUSE WE LIKE YOU
THE MOST.Copy !req
510. - REALLY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
511. WE WANTED TO PROTECT YOU
FROM THIS LIFE OF CRIME.Copy !req
512. - OH, GUYS, YOU JUST GAVE ME
THE BIGGEST D.U.S.H. CHILL.Copy !req
513. squeak!
WHOA!Copy !req
514. - START THE RV!
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!Copy !req
515. - ATTICUS IS ALIVE?Copy !req
516. I THOUGHT I SAID,
"NO FUNNY BUSINESS!"Copy !req