1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - NOT BAD, HUH, JACKIE?Copy !req
15. THIS SHIRT HAS GONE
IN AND OUT OF STYLE SIX TIMES,Copy !req
16. AND IN ALL THOSE YEARS,
I'VE NEVER STOPPED TRUCKIN'.Copy !req
17. - SIR, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU
TO LEAVE THE STORECopy !req
18. 'CAUSE YOU'RE HURTING OUR IMAGECopy !req
19. 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO OLD.Copy !req
20. - WHAT?Copy !req
21. - I SAID,
"'CAUSE YOU'RE SO OLD."Copy !req
22. - OFFICER, I ASSURE YOU,
HE'S THE SAME AGE AS I AM.Copy !req
23. I JUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF,Copy !req
24. AND I'M BLESSED
WITH BETTER GENES.Copy !req
25. - THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.Copy !req
26. I DEMAND TO SPEAK
TO MR. ABERFITCH IMMEDIATELY.Copy !req
27. ALTHOUGH I'LL SETTLE
FOR DR. CROMBIE.Copy !req
28. - GLENN,
THEY CAN'T TREAT YOU LIKE THIS.Copy !req
29. KIDS, WE ARE LEAVING THIS STORE.Copy !req
30. RIGHT AFTER I MAX OUT
ON OUR CREDIT CARD.Copy !req
31. - AWW.Copy !req
32. - CHECK IT.Copy !req
33. I GOT A SHIRT FROM
A MIDDLE SCHOOL DODGE BALL TEAMCopy !req
34. THAT DOESN'T EXIST.Copy !req
35. - AND I GOT A SKIRT
THAT SHOWS BUTT CLEAVAGECopy !req
36. ON TOP AND BOTTOM.Copy !req
37. - AND YOU JUST LOST IT.Copy !req
38. WENDY'S SKIRT
IS SO INAPPROPRIATE.Copy !req
39. I'M GONNA LOOK SO HOT IN IT.Copy !req
40. - DON'T BE SAD, HONEY.Copy !req
41. SO YOUR NEW OUTFIT
IS FROM RITE AID.Copy !req
42. IT LOOKS GOOD.Copy !req
43. BUT MAYBE WE COULD
PULL THE BELT DOWN A LITTLE.Copy !req
44. - NO, I'M GIVING IN.Copy !req
45. I'M OLD.Copy !req
46. I SHOULD DRESS ACCORDINGLY.Copy !req
47. - OH, STOP FEELING BAD
FOR YOURSELF.Copy !req
48. WE ALL GET OLDER,Copy !req
49. SOME OF US
MORE GRACEFULLY THAN OTHERS.Copy !req
50. - DID YOU
GET YOUR BELLY BUTTON PIERCED?Copy !req
51. - CAME FREE
WITH THIS TRAMP STAMP.Copy !req
52. - MAYBE YOU'D
FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELFCopy !req
53. IF YOU DID SOMETHING ACTIVE
LIKE TAKE A WALK EVERY DAY.Copy !req
54. - WHOA!Copy !req
55. I ALREADY HAVE TO WALK
TO THE BATHROOM AND KITCHEN.Copy !req
56. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
KILL ME?Copy !req
57. - WELL, WAS THERE EVER
A SPORT THAT YOU USED TO ENJOY?Copy !req
58. - YOU KNOW, THERE WAS ONE SPORT
I WAS GREAT AT.Copy !req
59. BACK THEN, I WAS A TOTAL STUD,Copy !req
60. KNEE-DEEP IN TAIL.Copy !req
61. I WAS THE BEST JUNIOR HANDLER
IN THE TRI-STATE AREACopy !req
62. WITH FRECKLES, MY WEIMARANER.Copy !req
63. SHE WAS LIKE A SISTER TO ME.Copy !req
64. THE KIND OF SISTER
WHO KISSES YOU ON THE MOUTHCopy !req
65. AND IT'S NOT WEIRD.Copy !req
66. - AND BEHIND EVERY
IMPRESSIONABLE BOY DREAMERCopy !req
67. IS A GRIZZLED OLDER MAN,Copy !req
68. POKING AND PRODDING HIMCopy !req
69. ACROSS THE THRESHOLD
TO ADULTHOOD.Copy !req
70. MINE WAS SMITTY,
AND HE MENTORED ME SENSELESS.Copy !req
71. WE LOST IN THE FINALS
TO THE MOST FEROCIOUS COMPETITORCopy !req
72. IN THE HISTORYCopy !req
73. ISABELLA, COUNTESS OF CORDOBA.Copy !req
74. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.Copy !req
75. BUT SMITTY,Copy !req
76. HE TOOK THE LOSS
A LITTLE HARDER THAN I DID.Copy !req
77. - I NEVER KNEW THAT.Copy !req
78. WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER
SHOWN CANINE?Copy !req
79. - OH, THAT WAS YEARS AGO.Copy !req
80. IT'S OVER NOW,
LIKE NICK AND JESSICA OVER.Copy !req
81. UGH!
EVEN MY REFERENCES ARE OLD.Copy !req
82. - MAYBE IT'S TIME
YOU TWO TEAMED UP.Copy !req
83. - HUH.Copy !req
84. YOU THINK WE SHOULD GO FOR IT?Copy !req
85. - WELL, IT WOULDN'T BECopy !req
86. THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING
YOU'VE DONE.Copy !req
87. - CANINE, YOU AND I
ARE GONNA BE UNBEATABLE.Copy !req
88. - MAYBE WE'LL JUST
TAPE THAT TAIL DOWN A LITTLE.Copy !req
89. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
90. - NO PRESSURE, PAL,
BUT WE ONLY HAVE A FEW DAYSCopy !req
91. UNTIL THE NORTHWESTMINSTER
DOG SHOW.Copy !req
92. THAT'S THE SECOND MOST
PRESTIGIOUS MINSTER, MISTER.Copy !req
93. - OH, MISTER!Copy !req
94. - WHOA.Copy !req
95. - DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE A SHOT
AT WINNING?Copy !req
96. - OH, I THINK YOUR FATHER
HAS ALREADY WON.Copy !req
97. - I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.Copy !req
98. WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?Copy !req
99. - $12.72.Copy !req
100. AND ONE CANADIAN NICKEL?Copy !req
101. - COURTNEY,
I HAVE SOME TERRIBLE NEWS.Copy !req
102. LAST NIGHT,
I SAW YOU SUCKING YOUR THUMB.Copy !req
103. smack!Copy !req
104. - GOD HATES LIARS, WENDY.Copy !req
105. - I HAVE PICTURES.Copy !req
106. smash!Copy !req
107. YOU KNOW,
THERE WAS A DELETE BUTTON.Copy !req
108. - THIS IS BAD.Copy !req
109. CEOs DO NOT SUCK THEIR THUMBS.Copy !req
110. PLUS, IF MOM AND DAD FOUND OUT,
THEY'D BE CRUSHED.Copy !req
111. THEY PUT ALL THEIR EGGS
IN MY BASKET.Copy !req
112. - WAIT.Copy !req
113. NOW MY SHOES ARE ON FINE.Copy !req
114. HEY!
NOW THEY'RE ALL MIXED UP AGAIN.Copy !req
115. - THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO QUIT.Copy !req
116. - DON'T DO IT!Copy !req
117. - GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON.Copy !req
118. - BECAUSE IT'S MY THUMB!Copy !req
119. LOOK.
YOU CAN BEAT THIS.Copy !req
120. WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.Copy !req
121. JUST LET ME KEEP MY THUMB!Copy !req
122. - OH, I WAS ALWAYS
GONNA LET YOU KEEP IT.Copy !req
123. I WAS JUST GONNA CUT IT OFF.Copy !req
124. - COME ON, CANINE.Copy !req
125. WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THIS?Copy !req
126. YOU CLIMB THE LADDER,
WALK THE TIGHTROPE,Copy !req
127. JUMP ONTO THE PYLON,
WAVE THE FLAG,Copy !req
128. THEN OPEN THE FRESCA.Copy !req
129. - OH, GLENN.
- WHAT?Copy !req
130. HE DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE TO DRINK IT.Copy !req
131. HE JUST HAS TO SELL
THAT HE'S DRINKING IT.Copy !req
132. - IT'S A DOG SHOW.Copy !req
133. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN.Copy !req
134. - YOU DON'T DO A DOG SHOW
FOR FUN, JACKIE.Copy !req
135. YOU DO IT FOR MONEY OR FAME.Copy !req
136. OR THE APPROVAL OF A MOTHER
WHO RAISED YOU AS A GIRLCopy !req
137. ONE SUMMER WHEN YOU WERE NINE.Copy !req
138. UGH, THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN
WHO CAN HELP ME NOW.Copy !req
139. - SIGMUND FREUD?Copy !req
140. - NO, SILLY.Copy !req
141. SMITTY!Copy !req
142. - ACE MARTIN!
AS I LIVE AND WHEEZE.Copy !req
143. - I WAS SURE
I'D FIND YOU HERE...Copy !req
144. AFTER I CHECKED EVERY PAUPER
CEMETERY IN THE TRI-STATE AREA.Copy !req
145. - HA!Copy !req
146. I TOLD YOU
ACE WOULD COME BACK FOR ME.Copy !req
147. - YOU ALSO SAID
GIULIANI BE PRESIDENT.Copy !req
148. - NOW, FRECKLES,
THERE WAS A DOG.Copy !req
149. IF YOU HAD ANY PRIDE,
YOU'D JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.Copy !req
150. - AH, THERE'S THAT WARMTHCopy !req
151. DISGUISED AS MEAN-SPIRITED
DERISIVENESSCopy !req
152. THAT I'VE LONGED FOR.Copy !req
153. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN
WHIP MY NEW DOG INTO SHAPE.Copy !req
154. - NEW DOG, HUH?Copy !req
155. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.Copy !req
156. NOPE!Copy !req
157. SPHINCTER'S TOO BIG.Copy !req
158. - HE MIGHT MAKE A GOOD THROW RUG
AT SOME POINT.Copy !req
159. - THAT'S IT?Copy !req
160. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
HOW LOVING AND CHARMING HE IS?Copy !req
161. - YOU MUST BE THE OLD LADY.Copy !req
162. NICE GUMS.Copy !req
163. - SOLID HINDQUARTERS.Copy !req
164. - EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
165. - NOT SURE
ABOUT THE TEMPERAMENT.Copy !req
166. REMINDS ME OF JEZEBEL,Copy !req
167. THAT GOLDEN RETRIEVER
I NEVER LIKED.Copy !req
168. - YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.Copy !req
169. I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE.Copy !req
170. - UGH.
I WILL BE IN THE R.V.Copy !req
171. - THAT IS SO JEZEBEL.Copy !req
172. COME ON, SMITTY,
I NEED TO GET BACK IN THE GAME.Copy !req
173. IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.Copy !req
174. - WELL, WOULD YOU CONSIDER
SHOWING A DIFFERENT DOG?Copy !req
175. YOU KNOW, ONE THAT DIDN'T
MAKE YOU WANT TO GO TO CHURCHCopy !req
176. EVERY TIME IT TURNED AROUND.Copy !req
177. - I COULDN'T DO THAT.Copy !req
178. CANINE IS MY DOG.Copy !req
179. IT'D BE WRONG.Copy !req
180. BUT IT WOULD ALSO BE WRONG
NOT TO HEAR YOU OUT.Copy !req
181. - HEARD ABOUT THIS PLACE
ON 60 MINUTES.Copy !req
182. IT'S AN ANIMAL CLONING FACILITY.Copy !req
183. AND BECAUSE IT'S ON INDIAN LAND,
IT'S ALL KIND OF LEGAL.Copy !req
184. OF COURSE, THEY'RE STILL
WORKING OUT THE KINKS.Copy !req
185. - IS THAT A CAT OR A PARROT?Copy !req
186. - MEOW!
POLLY-WANNA-DIE.Copy !req
187. - THIS IS ALL
VERY NICE AND CREEPY,Copy !req
188. BUT WHY EXACTLY
DID YOU BRING US HERE?Copy !req
189. - A FEW MONTHS BACK, I SOLD
MY LIVER TO A CHINESE GANGSTER,Copy !req
190. TOOK SOME DNA OFF AN OLD
SLOBBER-CRUSTED TENNIS BALL,Copy !req
191. AND VOILA!Copy !req
192. IT CAN'T BE.Copy !req
193. - IT'S FRECKLES!Copy !req
194. - THAT'S RIGHT, ACE.Copy !req
195. NOW WE CAN WIN!Copy !req
196. - YEAH, THAT'S IT, BUDDY.Copy !req
197. THERE YOU GO.
YEAH, WORK IT.Copy !req
198. GET A NICE—OH!Copy !req
199. GET OFF THE REBOUND AND—Copy !req
200. smash!
YES!Copy !req
201. - THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN.Copy !req
202. - AW, WHO'S THE ONLY DOG I LOVE?Copy !req
203. - IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.Copy !req
204. - I KNOW, CANINE.
I'M STRESSED OUT TOO.Copy !req
205. I JUST NEED TO SELF-SOOTHE
WITH A LITTLE THUMB SUCKING.Copy !req
206. smack!Copy !req
207. OW!Copy !req
208. COME ON.
TAKE THIS OFF.Copy !req
209. I NEED ONE LAST TASTE.Copy !req
210. - NO.Copy !req
211. EVERY TIME YOU TAKE
A VICIOUS BLOW TO THE HEAD,Copy !req
212. YOU'LL KNOW I CARE.Copy !req
213. - CONOR, FOR THE TENTH TIME,Copy !req
214. WOULD YOU PLEASE
TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT?Copy !req
215. rip!Copy !req
216. OH!
IT WASN'T EVEN FULL.Copy !req
217. - SO HOW'S FRECKLES
SO EASY TO TRAIN?Copy !req
218. - SINCE SHE'S A CLONE,
HER MIND IS COMPLETELY BLANK.Copy !req
219. MAKES THEM A SNAP TO CONTROL.Copy !req
220. SIT!Copy !req
221. ROLL OVER!Copy !req
222. - GOOD.
NOW BEG!Copy !req
223. THE SECRET IS TO KEEP IT SIMPLE
AND SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY.Copy !req
224. - HMM.Copy !req
225. - HEY, BUDDY.Copy !req
226. - OH, ISN'T THAT CUTE?Copy !req
227. SOMEONE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND.Copy !req
228. - OH, LOOKS LIKE
YOU NEED A COLD SHOWER.Copy !req
229. COME ON, GIRL.Copy !req
230. YOU COULD
PLAY A LITTLE HARD TO GET.Copy !req
231. - SMITTY, I DON'T MEAN TO
START A CONVERSATION WITH YOU,Copy !req
232. BUT IS THERE SOMETHING
A LITTLE OFF ABOUT FRECKLES?Copy !req
233. LOOKS LIKE
SHE'S GOT A MEAN STREAK.Copy !req
234. - VERY OBSERVANT, JEZEBEL.Copy !req
235. UNCONTROLLABLE VIOLENCE IS ONE
OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF CLONING.Copy !req
236. - VIOLENCE?Copy !req
237. - IT'S ALL
IN THE 60 MINUTES PIECE.Copy !req
238. LESLEY STAHL DID A BANG-UP JOB.Copy !req
239. COME ON, ACE, TIME TO CHECK OUT
THE COMPETITION.Copy !req
240. ARE YOU READY?
smack!Copy !req
241. - I AM READY.
smack!Copy !req
242. - YOU AIN'T READY.
smack!Copy !req
243. - I'M SO READY!Copy !req
244. smack!
- OOH!Copy !req
245. YES!
LET'S DO THIS.Copy !req
246. - I'M SORRY, BUDDY.Copy !req
247. - CONOR, COULD YOU PLEASE
PICK UP THAT SODA?Copy !req
248. - I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE.Copy !req
249. - CONOR, SODA!
NOW!Copy !req
250. WHO'S MY GOOD BOY?Copy !req
251. - THE COMPETITION LOOKS FIERCE
THIS YEAR.Copy !req
252. KING HENRY OF PENNSYLTUCKY.Copy !req
253. HE'S BEEN ON THE COVERCopy !req
254. DOG FANCY AND DOG WORLD.Copy !req
255. BO JANGLES, THE SAD CLOWN,Copy !req
256. ALWAYS PLAYING
THE SYMPATHY CARD.Copy !req
257. BUT THERE'S OUR REAL CHALLENGE.Copy !req
258. IT CAN'T BE.Copy !req
259. - YET IT IS.Copy !req
260. ISABELLA'S GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTER.Copy !req
261. THEY CALL HER ISABELLA.Copy !req
262. - GET OUT OF TOWN.Copy !req
263. - I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.Copy !req
264. IN TWO DAYS,
YOU'RE GOING DOWN, GRANDMA.Copy !req
265. - NO ONE CALLS ME GRANDMA,Copy !req
266. NOT EVEN MY GRANDKIDS.Copy !req
267. THEY NEVER CALL.Copy !req
268. - WOW, GLENN,
THIS DOG SHOW STUFFCopy !req
269. HAS REALLY REJUVENATED YOU.Copy !req
270. - HOW DOES IT FEEL TO MAKE ITCopy !req
271. WITH A MUCH YOUNGER MAN,
MRS. ROBINSON?Copy !req
272. - OKAY, I'M DONE.Copy !req
273. LOOK, I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY,
BUT WE ALREADY HAVE A GREAT DOG,Copy !req
274. AND YOU'VE BEEN COMPLETELY
IGNORING HIM SINCE—Copy !req
275. JACKIE.Copy !req
276. - GLENN, THAT'S FRECKLES.Copy !req
277. - I KNOW, SHE DOES IT PERFECT.Copy !req
278. PAY ATTENTION.
I WANT YOU TO LEARN THIS.Copy !req
279. - WOW.
OKAY.Copy !req
280. YOU'RE BUNKING WITH SMITTY.Copy !req
281. - SAY GOOD NIGHT TO YOUR DOG,
GLENN.Copy !req
282. - I'M SORRY, JEZEBEL.
I MEAN, JACKIE.Copy !req
283. I SHOULD PROBABLY
GET HER A DOG TAG.Copy !req
284. - I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.Copy !req
285. SOAKING YOUR THUMB IN VINEGAR,Copy !req
286. SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES
WHILE YOU SLEPT.Copy !req
287. - HOW DID THAT GO,
BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE?Copy !req
288. - IT WASN'T A TOTAL FAILURE.Copy !req
289. - HI, I'M RON H.,
RECOVERING FACEBOOK ADDICT.Copy !req
290. I HAVEN'T UPDATED MY STATUS
IN 23 HOURS.Copy !req
291. OH, MY GOD!Copy !req
292. I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE.Copy !req
293. PEOPLE I BARELY KNOW NEED TO SEE
WHICH SEINFELD CHARACTER I AM.Copy !req
294. - MY NAME IS GAIL G.Copy !req
295. I'M ADDICTED TO
PICKING UP STRANGE MEN IN BARS.Copy !req
296. IT'S BEEN HELL ON ME.Copy !req
297. - HI, I'M ELLEN D.,
AND I'M ADDICTED TO DANCING.Copy !req
298. I USE IT AS A CRUTCH
WHEN A JOKE BOMBS.Copy !req
299. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE.Copy !req
300. GOD, I WISH I COULD
DANCE MY WAY OUT OF THIS.Copy !req
301. - OH, WE ARE SO
GOING HOME WITH HIM TONIGHT.Copy !req
302. - THIS IS COURTNEY M.,Copy !req
303. AND SHE IS ADDICTED
TO SUCKING HER THUMB.Copy !req
304. BUT SHE WANTS TO QUIT.Copy !req
305. - I WISH I COULD,
BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD.Copy !req
306. DON'T YOU FREAKS AND LOSERSCopy !req
307. WANT TO INDULGE YOUR ADDICTIONS
EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY?Copy !req
308. DOESN'T IT FEEL LIKE
THE ONLY MEANINGFUL PIECECopy !req
309. OF YOUR PATHETIC LIVES
IS MISSING?Copy !req
310. I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU DENY YOURSELVESCopy !req
311. THE ONE BRIGHT SPOTCopy !req
312. IN YOUR OTHERWISE
EMPTY EXISTENCE.Copy !req
313. smack!Copy !req
314. GOD, I'M NO BETTER
THAN THEY ARE.Copy !req
315. I BEG YOU, WENDY, JUST
FILL MY MOUTH WITH CONCRETE.Copy !req
316. - COURTNEY, NO.Copy !req
317. NO!Copy !req
318. - COME HERE OFTEN?Copy !req
319. SHE'S NOT WITH ME.Copy !req
320. - OH.Copy !req
321. - LEAVE IT.Copy !req
322. HEY!Copy !req
323. - WHO'S A GOOD CONOR?Copy !req
324. YOU ARE.Copy !req
325. - JACKIE, TRAGIC NEWS.Copy !req
326. THERE'S BEEN A TRAGEDY.Copy !req
327. - OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED?Copy !req
328. - KING HENRY OF PENNSYLTUCKY
WAS VICIOUSLY MAULED LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
329. IF HE WASN'T FIXED BEFORE,
HE IS NOW.Copy !req
330. - OH, NO.Copy !req
331. - THANK GOD FRECKLES IS OKAY.Copy !req
332. - AND CANINE.Copy !req
333. - WHY WOULD I THANK CANINE?Copy !req
334. - WE'RE WARNING EVERYONE
TO STAY VIGILANT.Copy !req
335. THERE'S A COLD-BLOODED,
WET-NOSED KILLER ON THE LOOSE.Copy !req
336. - ACE, WE GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.Copy !req
337. WE CAN'T LET THIS TRAGEDY
DERAIL US.Copy !req
338. - YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
339. TOMORROW, WE'LL WIN THIS THINGCopy !req
340. FOR THE GOOD PEOPLE
OF PENNSYLTUCKY.Copy !req
341. - ANYWAY, I JUST HOPE
I CAN KEEP THIS OUT OF THE NEWS.Copy !req
342. YOU KNOW, REUTERS,
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS,Copy !req
343. RON H.'S FACEBOOK PAGE.Copy !req
344. - SMITTY, DID YOU
LET FRECKLES OUT LAST NIGHT?Copy !req
345. AND WHEN YOU ANSWER,
TRY NOT TO BREATHE ON ME.Copy !req
346. - I DIDN'T LET HER OUT.Copy !req
347. WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT
TALKING ABOUT OUR DREAMS.Copy !req
348. WE BOTH HAVE RECURRING ONES
ABOUT CHASING SQUIRRELS.Copy !req
349. - REALLY?Copy !req
350. THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN
THAT HOLE IN YOUR TRAILER?Copy !req
351. - DAMN ALUMINUM-EATING TERMITES.Copy !req
352. - GLENN,
I DON'T WANT TO SCARE YOU, BUT—Copy !req
353. - WAY AHEAD OF YOU, JACKIE.Copy !req
354. FIRST THING TOMORROW,Copy !req
355. WE'LL SPRAY THE R.V.
FOR ALUMINUM-EATING TERMITES.Copy !req
356. - I'M BEGGING YOU.
YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS.Copy !req
357. - IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.Copy !req
358. AND PLEASE DON'T THINKCopy !req
359. THIS IS SOME KIND
OF EMPLOYEE REVENGE FANTASY.Copy !req
360. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER
FROM THE TRUTH.Copy !req
361. - HOW ABOUT THIS PAINTING, HUH?Copy !req
362. BEST $1,500 I EVER SPENT.Copy !req
363. - $1,500?Copy !req
364. - I MISSPOKE.
I MEANT $1,500.Copy !req
365. - YEAH, ABOUT FRECKLES.Copy !req
366. I HAVE A HORRIBLE FEELINGCopy !req
367. THAT SHE KILLED
KING HENRY OF PENNSYLTUCKY.Copy !req
368. - FRECKLES?
KILLING A KING?Copy !req
369. REGICIDE IS A VERY SERIOUS
CHARGE, JACKIE.Copy !req
370. I COULD HAVE YOU
THROWN IN THE TOWER FOR THAT.Copy !req
371. - BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,
FRECKLES IS A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE.Copy !req
372. AND THAT'S A SIDE EFFECT
OF CLONING.Copy !req
373. - PLEASE, JACKIE,Copy !req
374. GOD WOULDN'T HAVE
INVENTED CLONINGCopy !req
375. AND THEN DEFEATED CONGRESSIONAL
EFFORTS TO BAN THE TECHNOLOGYCopy !req
376. IF IT WASN'T SAFE.Copy !req
377. - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
COVERING OUR WEDDING PORTRAIT.Copy !req
378. - OH, NO.Copy !req
379. - BARK ONE WORD OF THIS,
AND YOU'RE NEXT.Copy !req
380. - HUH?Copy !req
381. WHY AM I UNSTRAPPED?Copy !req
382. - I UNDID THEM AN HOUR AGO.Copy !req
383. YOU DID IT, COURTNEY.Copy !req
384. YOU KICKED IT!Copy !req
385. - HOW ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
386. I'M NOT EVEN TEMPTED.Copy !req
387. MY THUMB PRINTS
ARE GROWING BACK.Copy !req
388. - AND YOUR NAIL'S HARDENING.Copy !req
389. - THANK YOU, WENDY.Copy !req
390. - OH.Copy !req
391. - NOW, WHERE'S MY PDA?Copy !req
392. WITH MY THUMBS FREED UP,Copy !req
393. THEY CAN DEVOTE THEMSELVESCopy !req
394. OFFSHORE INTERNET GAMBLING.Copy !req
395. FASTER, THUMBS, FASTER!Copy !req
396. - SO, FRECKLES, I UNDERSTANDCopy !req
397. YOU RAN INTO LADY GAGA
LAST NIGHT WITHOUT HER MAKEUP.Copy !req
398. HOW DID SHE LOOK?Copy !req
399. - RUFF!Copy !req
400. - OH, ROUGH, INDEED.Copy !req
401. - I KNOW, BOY.Copy !req
402. I FEEL JUST AS BAD AS YOU DO.Copy !req
403. - UH, HI, ACE.Copy !req
404. - HEY, FELLAS,
YOU'LL NEVER GUESSCopy !req
405. WHO FRECKLES
RAN INTO LAST NIGHT.Copy !req
406. LINDSEY LOHAN.Copy !req
407. TELL THEM HOW SHE LOOKED, GIRL.Copy !req
408. - DR. MARTIN,Copy !req
409. I'M AFRAID
WE HAVE SOME ROUGH NEWS.Copy !req
410. - OH,
YOU STEPPED ON HER PUNCH LINE.Copy !req
411. - ANOTHER DOG
WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT, ACE.Copy !req
412. BO JANGLES, THE SAD CLOWN.Copy !req
413. DON'T MEAN TO BE GRUESOME,Copy !req
414. BUT IT'S GONNA BE
A CLOSED CASKET.Copy !req
415. AND BY CASKET,
I MEAN A HEFTY BAG.Copy !req
416. - RUFF!Copy !req
417. - TOO SOON TO JOKE ABOUT THAT,
FRECKLES.Copy !req
418. BUT TOMORROW AT THE WINNER'S
BANQUET, IT'LL BE HILARIOUS.Copy !req
419. - HEY, THAT DOG OF A DOG
OF YOURS IS ACTING SUSPICIOUS.Copy !req
420. I WONDER IF IT HAS ANYTHING
TO DO WITH THIS.Copy !req
421. - THAT'S CANINE'S.Copy !req
422. - INTERESTING.Copy !req
423. BECAUSE WE FOUND IT
AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.Copy !req
424. HOLD ON.Copy !req
425. YOU'RE NOT ACCUSING CANINE
OF ANYTHING.Copy !req
426. - YEAH, HE WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.Copy !req
427. THAT'S WHY THE R.V. IS INFESTED.Copy !req
428. - YEAH, ACE,
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT—Copy !req
429. crunch!Copy !req
430. - OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
431. NO!
- HOLY COW.Copy !req
432. - HE BIT ME!Copy !req
433. - CANINE,
WHY WOULD YOU DAMN YOURSELFCopy !req
434. IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?Copy !req
435. OFFICER, I'M CONFIDENT
THAT THESE TEETH MARKSCopy !req
436. WILL MATCH THE TEETH MARKS
ON THE OTHER VICTIMS.Copy !req
437. - WELL, IF YOU'RE CONFIDENT,
I'M CONFIDENT.Copy !req
438. - YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR DOG AWAY.Copy !req
439. - DAD, DO SOMETHING.Copy !req
440. - WAIT JUST A SECOND, OFFICER.Copy !req
441. - ACE, IF HE DID THIS
TO AN ANIMAL LOVER LIKE ME,Copy !req
442. IMAGINE WHAT HE COULD DO
TO YOUR FAMILY.Copy !req
443. - I'M SORRY, KIDS,
BUT MAYBE SMITTY IS RIGHT.Copy !req
444. WE JUST CAN'T RISK—Copy !req
445. - YOU CAN CRY LIKE A BABY
ON YOUR OWN TIME.Copy !req
446. WE GOT A SHOW TO WIN.Copy !req
447. - AND NOW, JULIA DESMONDCopy !req
448. AND HER STANDARD POODLE,
ISABELLA.Copy !req
449. - DO YOU THINK CANINE
WILL BE OKAY IN DOGGIE JAIL?Copy !req
450. - HONEY,
CANINE'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.Copy !req
451. HE JUST MIGHT HAVE TO DO THINGS
IN JAILCopy !req
452. THAT HE'S NOT PROUD OF.Copy !req
453. - FOCUS, ACE.Copy !req
454. snap!Copy !req
455. - OW!
MY HIP.Copy !req
456. - HA!
A BLUNDER!Copy !req
457. JUST THE OPENING WE NEEDED.Copy !req
458. - NEXT UP,
GLENN MARTIN AND HIS WEIMARANER,Copy !req
459. PRINCESS DIANA'S
DELIGHTFUL FRECKLES.Copy !req
460. - THIS IS OUR CHANCE
TO FINALLY WIN THE BIG ONE.Copy !req
461. - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A DOG
RUN THE COURSE SO BEAUTIFULLY?Copy !req
462. - HO-HO, NO, BOY.Copy !req
463. OKAY.Copy !req
464. NO.Copy !req
465. SMITTY, WOULD YOU BE MAD AT MECopy !req
466. IF I SAID I WAS DROPPING OUT
OF THE COMPETITION?Copy !req
467. - I'D BE FURIOUS.Copy !req
468. - WELL, THEN I'LL JUST LEAVE
WITHOUT TELLING YOU.Copy !req
469. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING, BOY?Copy !req
470. - TO SAVE MY DOG.Copy !req
471. HE MAY BE FLAWED,
HE MAY BE A DOUBLE MURDERER,Copy !req
472. AND DARNED IF HE ALWAYS PEES
ON THE SAME SPOT ON THE CARPET,Copy !req
473. BUT AT LEAST HE'S LOYAL,Copy !req
474. MORE LOYAL THAN I AM.Copy !req
475. - BUT YOU NEED THIS.Copy !req
476. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.Copy !req
477. THIS DOG MAKES YOU FEEL YOUNG.Copy !req
478. - I SAY A LOT OF STUPID THINGS,
SMITTY.Copy !req
479. crash!Copy !req
480. PERSEVERANCE, CANINE!
PAPA'S COMING!Copy !req
481. SEE?Copy !req
482. - GO, DAD.Copy !req
483. - YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.Copy !req
484. SIC 'EM!Copy !req
485. rip!Copy !req
486. - OH, CONOR,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
487. - I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
488. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT TONE.Copy !req
489. - WHOA!Copy !req
490. WHOA!Copy !req
491. - GET BACK IN THERE
AND FINISH THIS THING, ACE.Copy !req
492. THIS IS WHAT I KILLED FOR!Copy !req
493. - KILLED?Copy !req
494. LIKE HOW I WAS GONNA KILL
WITH MY VENTRILOQUIST ACT?Copy !req
495. - I GOT RID OF THE COMPETITION
SO WE COULD TAKE DOWN ISABELLA.Copy !req
496. I DID IT FOR US.Copy !req
497. ME, YOU, AND FRECKLES.Copy !req
498. WE'LL TAKE OUR WINNINGSCopy !req
499. AND LIVE
IN ADJOINING HORSE TRAILERS,Copy !req
500. HAVE A PORTA POTTY
THAT WE OWN AND NOT RENT.Copy !req
501. - SMITTY, I HAD NO IDEA
YOU WERE SO VIOLENT.Copy !req
502. clang!Copy !req
503. - THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S A CLONE.Copy !req
504. - SMITTY?
BUT YOU'RE OVER—Copy !req
505. - I CLONED MYSELF SO I COULDCopy !req
506. HAVE AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS
AROUND THE HOUSE.Copy !req
507. BUT WHAT I DIDN'T COUNT ONCopy !req
508. WAS FALLING IN LOVE
WITH THIS PALOOKA.Copy !req
509. - AW.Copy !req
510. EW.Copy !req
511. - WE CLONED THE THIRD SMITTYCopy !req
512. TO WATER THE PLANTS
WHILE WE HONEYMOONED IN MYKONOS.Copy !req
513. UNFORTUNATELY, SMITTY III
CAME OUT A LITTLE VIOLENT.Copy !req
514. - I TOLD YOU
WE SHOULDN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE.Copy !req
515. - I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMPLAINING
DURING OUR COUPLES' MASSAGE.Copy !req
516. - I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS,Copy !req
517. BUT FIRST
WE HAVE TO GET OUR DOG.Copy !req
518. OKAY, I CAN'T RESIST.Copy !req
519. CAN YOU FLY TO MYKONOS DIRECT,Copy !req
520. OR IS THERE A LAYOVER?Copy !req
521. WAIT.Copy !req
522. WAIT.Copy !req
523. OKAY.
crunch!Copy !req
524. - I'M SORRY
I TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED, BOY.Copy !req
525. - THANKS FOR GIVING US FRECKLES,
GLENN.Copy !req
526. - ESPECIALLY SINCE
WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADOPTCopy !req
527. ON ACCOUNT OF US BEING,
YOU KNOW, CLONES.Copy !req
528. - YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO PART WITH HER, ACE?Copy !req
529. - YEAH, IT'S BEEN FUN, FRECKLES,
BUT IT WAS JUST A FLING.Copy !req
530. I DON'T NEED TO BE 16
AND HAPPY AGAIN.Copy !req
531. I'M OKAY WITH BEING 40
AND FULL OF REGRETS.Copy !req
532. - COURTNEY, I AM SO PROUD OF YOUCopy !req
533. FOR KICKING
YOUR THUMB-SUCKING HABIT.Copy !req
534. - THANKS.Copy !req
535. JUST ONE PROBLEM.Copy !req
536. I LOST $2,000 ON TEXAS HOLD 'EM.Copy !req
537. - ISN'T YOUR DAD GONNA KILL YOU?Copy !req
538. - ME?
NO.Copy !req
539. I'M PLAYING UNDER YOUR NAME.Copy !req
540. - OH.Copy !req