Glenn Martin, DDS 2x17

1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN, FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,

2. AND DENTIST.

3. SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.

4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

5. SO IT'S ME, MY WIFE, JACKIE—

6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST— OH!

7. OUR SON, CONOR; HE'S UNIQUE,

8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—

9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING FOR HER ONE DAY.

10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY ALREADY IS.

11. AND THERE'S CANINE.

12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.

13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?

14. - YEAH, NATURE'S GRAND.

15. IN MY WAY?

16. THE NERVE.

17. - ON IT, BOSS.

18. boom!

19. - YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T SO BAD

20. CONSIDERING RIVER'S ARE NATURE'S URINAL.

21. SHAME YOUR FATHER'S STUCK DOING HIS TAXES TODAY.

22. - DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT MISSING A THING.

23. JACKIE, HOW MUCH DID WE SPEND

24. ON POSTAGE FOR BUSINESS?

25. OH, AND HOW MUCH ON POSTAGE FOR PLEASURE?

26. - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S TAKEN YOU SO LONG TO DO YOUR TAXES.

27. - YEAH, TAXES ARE VERY TAXING.

28. THAT'S HOW THEY GOT THE NAME.

29. AH! MY RECEIPTS!

30. pop!

31. GROSS INCOME.

32. WELL, THERE WAS

33. THROUGH A GUY'S NOSE.

34. THAT AS PRETTY GROSS INCOME.

35. - GLENN, YOU NEED HELP.

36. MY FATHER'S A FINANCIAL WIZ.

37. BY TONIGHT.

38. - WHITEY? I DON'T KNOW.

39. DOESN'T LIKE ME.

40. - OH, GLENN, HE DOES NOT WISH YOU WERE DEAD.

41. - HMM?

42. - JUST ASK HIM TO HELP.

43. TO GROW CLOSER.

44. - OKAY, I GUESS.

45. YOU'RE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE.

46. WHILE I FETCH YOUR GRANDFATHER'S

47. FROM THE DISHWASHER.

48. REMIND ME, WENDY.

49. - MOTHER, WHAT IS IT?

50. - MY HOUSE, IT'S A SHAMBLES!

51. THIS ANIMAL BEHAVIOR?

52. CERTAINLY NOT FROM YOUR MOTHER.

53. - WHAT? MOM NEVER CARES WHERE WE PUT OUR FEET.

54. - NO, MY PERFECT ANGEL

55. OF COUTH AND MANNERS.

56. RIGHT, JACKIE?

57. - EH, UH...

58. - SET HER STRAIGHT, MRS. MARTIN.

59. - Y-YOUR ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, MOTHER.

60. FROM ME.

61. CHILDREN, NO TV FOR A WEEK.

62. - WHAT? - WHY?

63. - NO FAIR. WHAT DID I DO?

64. WHOA!

65. EH.

66. - I, UH, LIKE YOUR DEAD BEAR CUB.

67. HE LOOKS SCARED.

68. - IT SAYS HERE YOU GAVE $1,000 TO THE RED CROSS.

69. - NO, I RECEIVED $1,000 FROM THE RED CROSS,

70. MOSTLY IN RICE, BUT I'M CALLING IT A DONATION

71. AND THE BIRDS ATE IT.

72. - OH, IDIOT.

73. HOW COME YOU'RE NOT REPORTING ANY INCOME FROM INVESTMENTS?

74. - DEFINE INVESTMENTS.

75. - YOU KNOW, BONDS, CDs.

76. - OH, I THINK YOU MEAN BOND DVDs.

77. - NO, INVESTMENTS.

78. SILVER, GOLD.

79. - I HAVE GOLDFINGER.

80. HA-HA-HA.

81. INTO THAT ONE.

82. - OH, GOD.

83. NUMBER CRUNCHERS DOING?

84. - SOME FATHER HE IS.

85. HOW TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY.

86. - HEY, I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.

87. - I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN YOU'RE LIVING ON THE STREET.

88. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

89. YOU ALREADY ARE.

90. - OH, DON'T HIM.

91. SHE'S JUST MAD BECAUSE AMERICA'S BECOMING

92. MORE RACIALLY TOLERANT.

93. - NO, YOUR DAD'S RIGHT.

94. I AM A TERRIBLE PROVIDER.

95. I MEAN, HOW AM I GONNA SEND

96. TO THE BLACKJACK DEALER ACADEMY?

97. FOR THEIR FUTURE,

98. TO HELP ME.

99. - OH, PLEASE.

100. DON'T SAY THAT NIGERIAN PRINCE YOU KEEP EMAILING.

101. - BUT BADABUTE OWES ME.

102. - ALL RIGHT, DAD,

103. I'M SETTING YOU UP WITH A DIVERSIFIED INDEX FUND.

104. IT'S A SAFE, SMART INVESTMENT,

105. BUT YOU WON'T GET RICH OVERNIGHT.

106. PERFECT.

107. - BOSS, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO SEE NOW.

108. - I'M SORRY. SHE'S NEW.

109. NOW, ALL YOU NEED TO DO

110. TO COMPLETE THE TRANSACTION.

111. YOU CAN HANDLE THAT?

112. - DON'T CONDESCEND TO ME.

113. YOU'VE SEEN ME PLAY BRICK BREAKER ON MY PHONE.

114. I CAN CLICK A BUTTON.

115. - OKAY, GLENN, IT'S JUST LIKE BREAKING A BRICK.

116. GET RICH FAST?

117. A FAST WAY TO GET RICH.

118. IN YOUR MOM'S OLD ROOM.

119. - A COPY OF TREASURE ISLAND?

120. I KNOW WE CAN'T WATCH TV, BUT LET'S NOT LOSE OUR HEADS.

121. LOOK INSIDE.

122. SECRET PICTURES OF LITTLE MS. PERFECT DOING NAUGHTY THINGS.

123. - SMOKING A CIGARETTE.

124. DOING A JELL-O SHOT.

125. - HERE SHE IS AT A RAP CONCERT,

126. AROUND THAT GUY'S NECK.

127. IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING.

128. - MOM WASN'T AN ANGEL.

129. SHE WAS A HELL-RAISER.

130. IF SHE LEARNED THE TRUTH.

131. WHY, I BET THAT YOUR MOM

132. TO KEEP THIS A SECRET.

133. - WENDY, THIS IS OUR TREASURE ISLAND.

134. - AH, BEAUTIFUL OKLAHOMA.

135. INVEST IN, WRETCHED FAILURE?

136. CONGRATS. YOU'VE CORNED THE MARKET.

137. - YEAH, LAUGH NOW BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING

138. WHEN I'M SO RICH, I BUY

139. IN THE MOVIE.

140. - TCH-HA! ARNOLD CAN'T OPEN A MOVIE.

141. ANOTHER BAD INVESTMENT, YOU IDIOT.

142. - YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, RIGHT, GLENN?

143. WHAT I'M DOING.

144. LIKE THAT.

145. - I'M RICH! YEE-HAW!

146. WHOO-HOO-HOO!

147. - FOSSIL FUELS, DR. MARTIN?

148. THAT'S SO OVER.

149. THE FUTURE'S IN RENEWABLE ENERGIES,

150. SOLAR, HYDROELECTRIC, WIND.

151. - I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, WENDY,

152. NEVER ACTUALLY ARRIVES.

153. IF IT DID, THEY'D CALL IT THE PRESENT.

154. FROM OUR WELL?

155. - MAYBE IT'S EMPTY.

156. TO FILL IT BACK UP.

157. - SO, UH, WHO WANTS

158. TO TOM ARNOLD THAT HE'S NOT GONNA BE IN THE MOVIE?

159. VERY MUCH ALIVE, WHITEY.

160. HIS SHORT SWEATER SLEEVE.

161. HIT IT, PADRE.

162. - EH?

163. - GLENN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

164. - RELAX.

165. I WASN'T GONNA SACRIFICE MY FIRSTBORN.

166. TO FOOL THE GODS.

167. THANKS FOR RUINING IT.

168. NOW THEY KNOW EVERYTHING.

169. - WHAT YOU LOOKING AT, DADDY?

170. - GLENN.

171. HE'S CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF THE OIL WELL.

172. SAYS HE WANTS TO END IT ALL.

173. PULL UP A CHAIR,

174. THE SPLASH ZONE.

175. - OH, MY GOD!

176. GLENN, DON'T JUMP!

177. - I'M NOT JUMPING, I'M SELLING.

178. I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS STUPID OIL BUSINESS.

179. - HOLY COW, LOOK AT ALL THAT WIND ENERGY.

180. DR. MARTIN.

181. - WHAT?

182. - YOU'VE STRUCK SOMETHING BETTER THAN OIL.

183. YOU'VE STRUCK WIND.

184. - WE'RE GONNA BE RICH.

185. - YEE-HAW!

186. IT'S A GUSHER!

187. - LOOK AT HER GO. AIN'T SHE A BEAUT?

188. - ON THE PLUS SIDE, THAT CLOUD MAKES A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET.

189. WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE MAN WHO DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MY PLAN.

190. PANAMA.

191. - GLENN, I KNOW I MAY HAVE TAUNTED YOU,

192. EVEN OFFERED JACKIE MONEY, TO LEAVE YOU.

193. THE WIND BUSINESS TOGETHER?

194. WITH ME?

195. - GLENN, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.

196. MY DAD CAN BE RUTHLESS.

197. - NOW, LOOK, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HESITANT.

198. YES, YOU'RE MAKING A FEW BUCKS ON THIS WINDMILL,

199. TO THE NEXT LEVEL,

200. YOU NEED A PARTNER,

201. LIKE ME.

202. - LET'S DO IT.

203. MADAM, I'M ADAM.

204. THAT'S A PALINDROME, WHITEY.

205. - GOOD CHOICE, GLENDA.

206. I MEAN, GLENN.

207. I MEAN, SON.

208. EH, LET'S GO WITH GLENN.

209. - OOH, I HAVE A GREAT NAME FOR OUR COMPANY.

210. "GO HANG A SALAMI, I'M A LASAGNA HOG."

211. THAT'S ALSO A PALINDROME, WHITEY.

212. - YES, I KNOW.

213. I'M TRYING NOT TO STRANGLE YOU.

214. - TELEVISION?

215. JACKIE, I THOUGHT YOU TOOK THAT AWAY FROM THEM.

216. - OF COURSE I DID.

217. GIRLS, WAS I NOT CLEAR?

218. - NO, NO, YOU WERE VERY CLEAR.

219. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS CLEAR?

220. THIS.

221. - "WE KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE, LITTLE MISS PERFECT."

222. FOR A MOMENT, MOTHER?

223. WAS MY IDEA.

224. - AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

225. - HERE'S AS PICTURE OF YOU

226. MAKING OUT UNDER THE BLEACHERS.

227. INTO NEM-NEM'S PRAYER BOOK.

228. - WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?

229. AROUND HERE,

230. AND THE FIRST ONE IS,

231. OF '89 REALLY RULE,

232. WITH A CAN OF PAINT,

233. A BRICK WALL, AND AN ITCHY SPRAY FINGER?

234. DECADES AGO.

235. GO AHEAD AND TELL GRANDMA.

236. SEE IF I CARE.

237. - OH, NEM-NEM.

238. - I CARE! I CARE!

239. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

240. - NO MORE CURFEW.

241. UNLESS WE'RE BEING SARCASTIC.

242. - AND NO MORE CHORES.

243. FROM NOW ON, THEY ALL GO TO THE BOY.

244. - HA-HA, WRONG BEAT, SCISSORS.

245. OW.

246. - FINE.

247. ALL RIGHT, CONOR, YOU WIN.

248. FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN MAKE THE BEDS,

249. LOAD THE DISHWASHER, AND SCRUB THE TOILETS.

250. - OH-HO, SWEET.

251. I'M SO PUMPED, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ASKING FOR THAT STUFF.

252. - HELLO.

253. GLENN MARTIN, D.D.S.

254. I'M INTERESTED IN SELLING YOU SOME WIND ENERGY.

255. - YEAH, WELL,

256. TO YOU MOM AND POP UTILITIES, BUT THIS IS THE BIG TIME.

257. WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND.

258. - WHOA. THAT'S A LOT OF WIND, MISTER.

259. PURE.

260. I LIKE IT.

261. - AND THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

262. - I'LL PAY YOU 50 BUCKS A BARREL,

263. YOU CAN GUARANTEE SUPPLY.

264. HOW MANY WINDMILLS YOU GOT?

265. - EH, JUST THE ONE.

266. - HUNDRED. 100.

267. - 100?

268. IT'S A DEAL.

269. I'M GOANNA CELEBRATE

270. THEM ENERGY WASTERS.

271. - UH, WHITEY, I'VE COUNTED AND RECOUNTED OUR WINDMILLS,

272. AND IT KEEPS COMING OUT ONE.

273. LIKE DENTAL FLOSS, GLENN.

274. WHEN IT'S TWISTED.

275. - I'M THRILLED YOU'RE USING DENTAL ANALOGIES,

276. BUT THEY'RE STILL GONNA FIND OUT WE DON'T HAVE 100 WINDMILLS.

277. - WELL, THEN, WE'LL JUST FIND A WAY TO BUILD MORE.

278. NOW, WIDOW MATTHEWS,

279. WE ARE WIND MEND.

280. AND WE'RE HERE TO OFFER YOU THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME.

281. OUR COMPANY...

282. - "GO HANG A SALAMI, I'M A LASAGNA HOG."

283. OF YOUR PROPERTY FOR WIND,

284. AND SADLY, THERE IS NONE.

285. - NO WIND?

286. THEN WHAT'S THAT?

287. - WHOA!

288. WHOA!

289. - REMEMBER, GLENN, DENTAL FLOSS.

290. TWIST IT.

291. - MA'AM, LET ME EXPLAIN.

292. THAT'S FOOL'S WIND.

293. SOMETIMES THE AIR IS SO STILL,

294. IT CREATES THE ILLUSION OF WIND.

295. IT'S COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.

296. - BUT WE'RE WILLING TO PAY $1 AN ACRE

297. BECAUSE WE'RE SORRY YOU'RE A WIDOW.

298. - OH, THAT'S VERY KIND.

299. WHERE DO I SIGN?

300. - NICE TRY, FOOL'S WIND.

301. SHE'S ONTO YOU.

302. crash!

303. - AH!

304. - TA-DA.

305. - OH!

306. COMING AT YOU.

307. - OW!

308. - YEE-HAW!

309. - OW!

310. - GLENN, WE'VE BEEN POSING SILENTLY FOR FIVE HOURS.

311. WHAT'S THIS PAINTING FOR ANYWAY?

312. - IT'S A SURPRISE FOR WHITEY TO CELEBRATE YOUR PARTNERSHIP.

313. AND CANINE IS WHITEY'S BEER GUT.

314. - BUT WHY AM I HERE?

315. - YOU'RE STANDING IN FOR JENNIFER ANISTON.

316. WE THINK SHE'S CUTE.

317. - GLENN, EVER SINCE YOU GOT INTO THE WIND BUSINESS,

318. YOU'VE BECOME RUTHLESS,

319. LYING TO OLD LADIES, ONLY CARING ABOUT MONEY.

320. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE BECOMING MY FATHER.

321. - WHITEY DOES WHAT'S NECESSARY TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY.

322. THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

323. IF THAT MEANS WHEN I DIE, YOU HAVE NO HAPPY MEMORIES,

324. TO SUE EACH OTHER OVER,

325. THEN I'VE DONE MY JOB.

326. - JUST REMEMBER, GLENN, I MARRIED YOU.

327. I DIDN'T MARRY MY FATHER.

328. - MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE, JACKIE.

329. MAYBE WE BOTH SHOULD HAVE.

330. - VOILA.

331. - GREAT, YOU GOT ME BLINKING.

332. START OVER.

333. - GIRLS, YOU NEED TO FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK.

334. YOU NEED TO FINISH OUR HOMEWORK.

335. - AND DON'T FORGET TO SHOW OUR WORK.

336. - THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

337. IN LAKE HAVASU ATTEST,

338. ABOUT GOING TOO FAR.

339. CONOR, I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN.

340. INCRIMINATING PHOTOS OF ME,

341. AND I NEED YOU TO GET THEM.

342. - YOU MEAN LIKE A DETECTIVE?

343. THE ROOM FASTER, THEN YES.

344. - COOL.

345. CAN I PUT MY NAME ON THE DOOR?

346. CAN I GET A FEDORA?

347. CAN I WEAR GUMSHOES?

348. 'CAUSE I'M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE.

349. - JUST FIND THE PICTURES.

350. - JUST LIKE THAT, THE RED HEAD WAS GONE.

351. SOME PHOTOS,

352. WAS GONNA DEVELOP.

353. - CONOR, STOP TALKING

354. AND FIND MY PICTURES.

355. - SORRY, MOM.

356. - JUST LIKE THAT, THE RED HEAD WAS GONE,

357. WAS ALMOST MY BEDTIME,

358. WAS JUST GETTING STARTED.

359. OH!

360. crash!

361. - I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A MEETING.

362. ON THAT LAST PIGNOLI.

363. - GLENN, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

364. I'VE GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS.

365. TAKE A LOOK AT OUR WIND FIELD.

366. - ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, WHITEY?

367. AND I DID TOGETHER.

368. - HOLD THAT THOUGHT, GLENN.

369. MY SUPER MILL.

370. - YOU MEAN OUR SUPER MILL?

371. - NO, GLENN, I MEAN MINE.

372. OF THE MILLS WE OWN TOGETHER.

373. ALL THE WIND,

374. MAKING OURS WORTHLESS.

375. - NO, OF COURSE NOT.

376. WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY THE DEAL.

377. - YOU DRAGGED MY WIND SHAKE.

378. AND I TOOK IT.

379. NO HARD FEELINGS. IT'S JUST BUSINESS.

380. AND A LITTLE HARD FEELINGS.

381. - BUT THAT WAS MY NEST EGG.

382. FOR MY FAMILY?

383. ARE MY FAMILY TOO.

384. THEY'LL BE TAKEN CARE OF.

385. ARE GOING TO BE FINE TOO.

386. - BUT WHITEY, I TRUSTED YOU.

387. WHOA!

388. - TORNADO!

389. - WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

390. - I MESSED UP THE RAIN DANCE.

391. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE STEP, STEP, TURN,

392. NOT STEP, TURN, STEP.

393. THE WEATHER GOD'S A TOTAL STICKLER ABOUT TECHNIQUE.

394. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

395. UH-OH.

396. - HURRY UP, KIDS.

397. GET INTO THE SHELTER.

398. TO GO IN THERE?

399. thwap!

400. - TO THE SHELTER!

401. - I'M NOT COMING.

402. A TORNADO IS A WIND MAN'S ULTIMATE DREAM.

403. IF I CAN CAPTURE THIS TWISTER, I'LL MAKE A KILLING.

404. - THAT'S MY DREAM, AND YOU'RE STEALING IT.

405. I'M GOING TOO.

406. - GLENN, YOU CAN'T GO OUT THERE.

407. - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

408. MY HAIR DOESN'T

409. TO WITHSTAND THAT KIND OF WIND.

410. BUT I'VE GOT TO PROJECT OUR NEST EGG.

411. WHOA.

412. OKAY, MAYBE I NEED A RUNNING START.

413. - ONCE THIS BLADE IS UP, I'LL BE UNSTOPPABLE.

414. - NOT WITH MY WIND, YOU DON'T.

415. GIVE UP?

416. - NOT YET.

417. FOR MY DAUGHTER.

418. YOU'RE JUST A STUPID...

419. - STUPID WHAT?

420. I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE WIND.

421. OKAY, ONE WORD, TWO SYLLABLES.

422. FIRST SYLLABLE.

423. DRIVING. MAKE-OUT POINT.

424. FLAT TIRE.

425. TRIPLE A. A HELPFUL TRUCKER.

426. A JACK.

427. PANTS. JACK PANTS.

428. JACK PALANCE!

429. FIRM. BOUNCE A QUARTER OFF 'EM.

430. ASS. JACKASS!

431. YAY, I GOT IT!

432. WAIT, I'M THE JACKASS?

433. HEY.

434. - I KNOW WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATURAL DISASTER,

435. YOUR MOM OUT ON A CALAMARI RUN?

436. - MM, POST PROM '86.

437. - MM, AND HAVE HER THROW IN SOME ZUCCHINI CIRCLES.

438. - WELL PLAYED, LADIES.

439. THE PERFECT PLAN.

440. IN FRONT OF MY ASSOCIATE.

441. AND OVERESTIMATED MY ASSOCIATE.

442. - DON'T BE ALARMED.

443. IT'S JUST FOOL'S WIND.

444. OH!

445. - I DID IT.

446. I'M THE MAYOR OF AIR,

447. THE TYPHOON TYCOON,

448. THE DUKE OF WINDSOR.

449. AH!

450. EE-AH!

451. - OH, MY GOD, WHITEY'S BODY

452. CAN'T STAND UP

453. ALL THAT SPINNINESS.

454. - AH!

455. HERE COMES MY BREAKFAST SCOTCH.

456. - SERVES YOU RIGHT.

457. AND I'M KEEPING THIS CHANGE THAT FELL OUT OF YOUR POCKET.

458. - LOOK AT YOU,

459. A DYING MAN'S PENNIES.

460. I'VE TAUGHT YOU WELL.

461. - DAMN RIGHT, OLD MAN.

462. OH, MY GOD, I'VE BECOME WHITEY.

463. I HATE WHITEY.

464. AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT

465. TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY THIS TIME.

466. I'M COMING, WHITEY!

467. - GLENN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

468. - I'M DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULDN'T DO,

469. THE RIGHT THING.

470. - STILL NOT FOOLED.

471. crash!

472. OKAY, I'M A BELIEVER.

473. - YOU'RE GOING TO DIE TOO, GLENN.

474. - NO, I'M NOT, WHITEY.

475. IS GONNA STOP THIS THING.

476. THERE, YOU SEE?

477. UH-OH.

478. WHOA!

479. clang!

480. - GLENN, YOU SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE MY LIFE.

481. - YOU'RE WELCOME, WHITEY.

482. - YOU REALLY ARE AN IDIOT.

483. BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE THE IDIOT THAT SAVED MY LIFE.

484. splat!

485. YOU'RE DOING?

486. - OH, WE DECIDED TO TAKE OVER THE MASTER BEDROOM.

487. BECAUSE WE'RE YOUR MASTERS.

488. WITH THE ARMOIRE?

489. - AND BY GIVING US A HAND, WE MEAN, MOVE IT YOURSELF.

490. - OH, THAT'S IT.

491. I'M STOPPING THIS RIGHT NOW.

492. OH, MOTHER.

493. MOTHER, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU.

494. I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THE PERFECT IMAGE OF ME,

495. THE TRUTH.

496. - OH, DEAR.

497. OH, MY.

498. OH, GOODNESS.

499. OH, I'M GONNA GIVE THIS ONE AN "OH, HEAVENS."

500. - AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M NOT PERFECT.

501. GRANTED, I'M WELL ABOVE AVERAGE IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT,

502. SO YOU WOULDN'T THINK LESS OF ME.

503. THEY'RE DAMN GOOD KIDS,

504. BLACKMAIL ASIDE.

505. JUDGE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.

506. DON'T HOLD THEM TO THE STANDARD YOU THOUGHT I WAS.

507. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, EXCEPT,

508. YOU MAKE ME SICK.

509. YOUR GIRLS GET IT.

510. FOR SHAME.

511. DRINKING, SMOKING, MOONING?

512. - WAIT A SECOND.

513. OF A VW BUS.

514. AND I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE THAT BIRTHMARK.

515. IN FACT, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON I KNOW WHO DOES.

516. - WHAT CAN I SAY? IT WAS THE '60s.

517. I'D RATHER THIS NOT GET OUT TO WHITEY.

518. SOMETHING OUT.

519. - YEAH, LET'S START WITH THOSE EARRINGS, MOTHER.

520. - I'M SORRY I LIED AND CHEATED,

521. AND I'M SORRY I TRIED TO STEAL YOUR BUSINESS.

522. - WHAT ELSE, DADDY/

523. - AND I'M SORRY

524. IN THE FIRST PLACE.

525. - THANK YOU, WHITEY.

526. FOR YOU TO SAY.

527. IS TIME WITH MY FAMILY.

528. EXACT WORDS EARLIER THIS WEEK.

529. A STATE FARM COMMERCIAL.