1. - PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOW,Copy !req
2. THE MARTINS VISITED
MY OLD CHILDHOOD SUMMER CAMP.Copy !req
3. CONOR PRETENDED
TO BE A TOUGH GUYCopy !req
4. BUT WAS LATER EXPOSED.Copy !req
5. I HUNG OUT WITH
MY OLD COUNSELOR,Copy !req
6. WHO'S A REAL CUTUP.Copy !req
7. THE GIRLS FELL IN LOVE
WITH A GHOST,Copy !req
8. WHO TURNED OUT TO BE GUTLESS.Copy !req
9. AND JACKIE BANGED ON SPOONS.Copy !req
10. I'M SURE THERE WAS MORE
TO HER STORY,Copy !req
11. BUT I WASN'T LISTENING.Copy !req
12. CUE THE THEME SONG.Copy !req
13. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
14. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
15. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
16. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
17. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
18. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
19. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
20. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
21. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
22. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
23. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
24. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
25. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
26. - I'LL TAKE SOME.Copy !req
27. - YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING
TO LIKE SUMMER CAMP.Copy !req
28. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH
OF THIS MYSTERY MEAT.Copy !req
29. - MYSTERY SOLVED.
IT'S HORSE.Copy !req
30. - ROXIE, CAN I GET YOU
SOME MORE BUG JUICE?Copy !req
31. - SURE.Copy !req
32. - SO GIRL TALK,Copy !req
33. ANY INSIDE TIPS ABOUT
YOUR FATHER'S HEDGE FUND?Copy !req
34. - OH, YOU WANT ROXIE B.Copy !req
35. I'M ROXIE J.Copy !req
36. - CANCEL THE BUG JUICE.Copy !req
37. - HEY, YOU!Copy !req
38. JUST BECAUSE MY WIFE AND I
ARE WORKING HERE AS COUNSELORSCopy !req
39. DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN PUT
YOUR HANDS ALL OVER HER.Copy !req
40. - HUH?Copy !req
41. - HEY, SORRY, PAL.Copy !req
42. JACKIE'S MY WIFE NOW.Copy !req
43. GIVE ME A SMOOCH, SUGAR.Copy !req
44. EW!
IS THIS YOUR GUM?Copy !req
45. - WELL, I WILL NOT GIVE UP
WITHOUT A FIGHT,Copy !req
46. OR SHOULD I SAY...Copy !req
47. COLOR WAR!Copy !req
48. - AH!Copy !req
49. - BAM!
YOU'RE ON THE YELLOW TEAM!Copy !req
50. - OH!Copy !req
51. - BOOM!
YOU'RE ON THE BLUE TEAM!Copy !req
52. - YOU BETTER GET RIGHT WITH GOD,
PRINCESS.Copy !req
53. - WENDY?Copy !req
54. - THIS IS WHAT I TRAINED FOR!Copy !req
55. - JOB WELL DONE.Copy !req
56. SAME TEAM!Copy !req
57. - WHAT ARE THE ODDS?Copy !req
58. - WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT
A COLOR WAR?Copy !req
59. CAN'T YOU JUST LET GONZO
HAVE MOM?Copy !req
60. - OH, HONEY,
IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN.Copy !req
61. - SON, YOU REMIND ME OF ME
BEFORE MY FIRST COLOR WAR,Copy !req
62. NERVOUS, UNSURE OF MYSELF.Copy !req
63. AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,Copy !req
64. MY NEMESIS, JIMMY, WAS ALWAYS
MAKING ME THE BUTT OF HIS JOKES.Copy !req
65. BUT THAT CHANGED
WHEN OLD MARATHON MARTINCopy !req
66. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE
DURING THE TEN-MILE RACE.Copy !req
67. - DRAT!
MARTIN, YOU'RE THE BETTER MAN.Copy !req
68. I DID IT, GONZO.Copy !req
69. FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD,
MY LIFE CHANGES.Copy !req
70. OKAY, FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.Copy !req
71. THAT RACE GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE
TO BECOME A DENTISTCopy !req
72. AND TO MARRY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.Copy !req
73. - OH, I WOULDN'T SAY
OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.Copy !req
74. THAT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE
I MADE A GIANT MISTAKE.Copy !req
75. - WELL, I GUESS IF COLOR WAR
DID THAT FOR YOU,Copy !req
76. IT COULD DO THE SAME
FOR ME.Copy !req
77. - OF COURSE, IT CAN.Copy !req
78. - NOW GO OUT THERE
AND GET 'EM, KIDDO.Copy !req
79. OF COURSE, AS A BLUE TEAMER,Copy !req
80. I LOOK FORWARD
TO BURYING YOU.Copy !req
81. - JACKIE.Copy !req
82. - WHAT?Copy !req
83. A MOTHER CAN'T SAY SHE LOOKS
FORWARD TO BURYING HER SON?Copy !req
84. - UM, KRISTY,
THE DIGNITY POLICE CALLED.Copy !req
85. THEY SAY YOU'RE NO LONGER
A SUSPECT.Copy !req
86. A LITTLE GIRL GIVING ME TIPS
ON DIGNITY.Copy !req
87. LET'S TALK ONCE YOU'RE 40
AND SINGLECopy !req
88. AND BURNED THROUGH J-DATE.Copy !req
89. NOW, BEFORE COLOR WAR
STARTS TOMORROW,Copy !req
90. YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
IS TO CHOSE A TEAM CAPTAIN.Copy !req
91. - OKAY, ANY NOMINATIONS?Copy !req
92. - A TEAM CAPTAIN
SHOULD BE SMART,Copy !req
93. ABLE TO MAKE HARD DECISIONS,
AND GREAT WITH ACRONYMS.Copy !req
94. OF COURSE,
THAT'S JUST I.M.H.O.Copy !req
95. - GOOD POINT.
I NOMINATE WENDY.Copy !req
96. - I SECOND THAT NOMINATION.Copy !req
97. WE WANT WENDY!Copy !req
98. WHAT?Copy !req
99. - UH, I RESPECTFULLY DECLINE.Copy !req
100. COURTNEY SHOULD BE CAPTAINCopy !req
101. ON ACCOUNT OF HER
GENERAL AWESOMENESS.Copy !req
102. - OH, THANK YOU.Copy !req
103. AND FOR THE RECORD,Copy !req
104. WENDY IS MORE OF WHAT YOU CALL
A CLASSIC FOLLOWER.Copy !req
105. SHE'S NOT STRONG ENOUGH
TO DO WHAT'S NECESSARY.Copy !req
106. - WELL, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
107. - PUH-LEASE.Copy !req
108. YOU CAN'T EVEN DECIDE
WHAT CEREAL I'M IN THE MOOD FORCopy !req
109. WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU.Copy !req
110. - JUST A FOLLOWER?Copy !req
111. IS THAT ALL YOU THINK OF ME?Copy !req
112. - HA-HA.Copy !req
113. YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF
HER TURNING TO ME FOR ANSWERS.Copy !req
114. - YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
115. I RESPECTFULLY WITHDRAW
MY RESPECTFUL WITHDRAWAL.Copy !req
116. I WILL BE CAPTAIN.Copy !req
117. - ALL RIGHT, YELLOW TEAM.Copy !req
118. I GOT THE SCHEDULE
RIGHT HERE.Copy !req
119. FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS,Copy !req
120. YOU'LL BE TESTED BY FEATS
OF STRENGTH AND SKILL,Copy !req
121. BUT NO EVENT IS GREATER
THAN THE—Copy !req
122. - THE BEST PRANK!
- TEN-MILE RACE!Copy !req
123. KRISTY, I DON'T WANT
TO CORRECT YOUCopy !req
124. BECAUSE I KNOW
HOW CRAZY YOU ARE,Copy !req
125. BUT THERE IS NO
BEST PRANK EVENT,Copy !req
126. UNLESS THEY DID IT
WHILE I WAS OFFCopy !req
127. WINNING THE TEN-MILE RACE.Copy !req
128. OH, GLENN.Copy !req
129. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
YOU STILL DON'T KNOW?Copy !req
130. - KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
131. - YOU TOOK OFF INTO THE WOODSCopy !req
132. WHILE JIMMY AND THE REST OF US
LAUGHED AT YOU FOR HOURS.Copy !req
133. SOME OF US WENT TO SEE
THE BREAKFAST CLUB.Copy !req
134. I MEAN, I WASN'T INVITED.
OF COURSE,Copy !req
135. BUT I RENTED IT ON PROM NIGHT.Copy !req
136. - IT WAS A PRANK?Copy !req
137. - DAD, CAN THAT BE TRUE?Copy !req
138. - OH, JIMMY,
THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED.Copy !req
139. THAT WAS THE DAY
HE GAVE ME THIS HICKEY.Copy !req
140. I FRESHEN IT UP
EVERY NOW AND THENCopy !req
141. WITH A VACUUM CLEANER.Copy !req
142. I NEED TO TALK
TO MY SPIRITUAL GURU.Copy !req
143. - MAKE THE WAIST SMALLER
AND THE BOOBS BIGGER.Copy !req
144. - SO MY BIG VICTORY
WAS A PRANK, HUH?Copy !req
145. GONZO, HOW COULD YOU
LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME?Copy !req
146. YOU WERE MY MENTOR.Copy !req
147. - OH, YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE RACE.Copy !req
148. WELL, AT THE TIME,
IT WAS A WIN-WIN.Copy !req
149. JIMMY MADE EVERYONE LAUGH,Copy !req
150. AND YOU GOT
LIFE-CHANGING CONFIDENCE.Copy !req
151. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE WOULD BE
IF YOU FOUND OUT.Copy !req
152. - I JUST DID FOUND OUT!Copy !req
153. - SORRY.
WOULD THIS CHEER YOU UP?Copy !req
154. - PLEASE, THAT BIKINI
WAS TWO SEASONS AGO.Copy !req
155. - I DON'T UNDERSTANDCopy !req
156. HOW YOU NEVER LOOKED BACK
DURING THE RACE,Copy !req
157. I MEAN, NOT EVEN ONCE?Copy !req
158. - I DID.Copy !req
159. I JUST THOUGHT I WAS
THE FASTEST BOY ON EARTH.Copy !req
160. - AS YOUR WIFE,
I FEEL FOR YOU.Copy !req
161. BUT AS A BLUE TEAMER,
I AM SO LOVING THIS.Copy !req
162. - SO YOU WERE THE BUTT
OF A TEN-MILE JOKE.Copy !req
163. IT DOESN'T CHANGE
YOUR OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS.Copy !req
164. YOU'RE STILL A GREAT FATHER,Copy !req
165. AND LIKE YOU SAID,Copy !req
166. YOU STILL MARRIED
OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.Copy !req
167. - HOW WILL I EVER
LOOK MY SON IN THE EYE AGAIN?Copy !req
168. I MUST HAVE
TOLD HIM THE STORYCopy !req
169. OF ME WINNING
THE TEN-MILE RACE,Copy !req
170. WHAT,
TWO, THREE TIMES?Copy !req
171. - YEAH, WHATEVER IT WAS,Copy !req
172. LET'S JUST AGREE
IT WAS ONE TOO MANY.Copy !req
173. - IT WAS 25 YEARS AGO, GLENN.Copy !req
174. JUST LET IT GO.Copy !req
175. - WELL SAID, JACKIE.Copy !req
176. I SHOULD NOT LET IT GO.Copy !req
177. ALL RIGHT,
JIMMY KIMMELOPOLIS,Copy !req
178. IT'S GO TIME.Copy !req
179. I BECAME A SUCCESSFUL
TRAVELING DENTIST.Copy !req
180. LET'S SEE WHERE MAKING JOKES
GOT YOU, FUNNY MAN.Copy !req
181. - THIS BETTER BE
BEN AFFLECK.Copy !req
182. - CLOSE.
GLENN MARTIN.Copy !req
183. BUT I DO GET THAT A LOT.Copy !req
184. I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER ME
FROM CAMP OKWAHO.Copy !req
185. - MARATHON MARTIN!
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY?Copy !req
186. - DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BUDDY.Copy !req
187. "BUDDY" IS RESERVED
FOR CLOSE FRIENDSCopy !req
188. AND PEOPLE WHOSE NAMES
I CAN'T REMEMBER.Copy !req
189. - I'M SORRY?Copy !req
190. - APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED.Copy !req
191. I CHALLENGE YOU
TO COME BACK TO CAMPCopy !req
192. AND RACE ME FOR REAL TOMORROW.Copy !req
193. - COME BACK TO CAMP
AND RACE YOU FOR REAL?Copy !req
194. DUDE, WE'RE OLD,Copy !req
195. AND YOUR HEAD MUST BE THE SIZE
OF STONEHENGE BY NOW.Copy !req
196. - I'M A PROFESSIONAL.Copy !req
197. - I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE THE GUTS TO COME.Copy !req
198. DEEP DOWN, YOU'RE STILL
THAT CHUBBY, INSECURE KIDCopy !req
199. WHO HIDES BEHIND JOKES
BECAUSE YOU KNOWCopy !req
200. THAT NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU
FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE.Copy !req
201. - OKAY, MARTIN,
I'LL GIVE YOU A RACE,Copy !req
202. AND WHEN I GET AHOLD
OF YOUR WATERMELON-SIZED HEAD,Copy !req
203. I'M GONNA HOLLOW IT OUTCopy !req
204. AND USE IT TO SERVE
SWEDISH MEATBALLSCopy !req
205. AT MY NEXT CELEBRITY
HOT TUB PARTY.Copy !req
206. FIRE UP THE PRIVATE JET.Copy !req
207. I'M GOING BACK TO CAMP.Copy !req
208. - YOU DON'T HAVE
A PRIVATE JET.Copy !req
209. - THEN SEE IF YOU CAN GET ME
ON STANDBY ON SOUTHWEST.Copy !req
210. AND USE MY POINTS.Copy !req
211. - LET THE COLOR WAR BEGIN!Copy !req
212. - JUDGES, I CALL THIS
THE SHISH-KE-BULL'S-EYE.Copy !req
213. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.Copy !req
214. YOU MAY APPLAUD.Copy !req
215. YOUR TURN, SWEETIE.Copy !req
216. twang!Copy !req
217. - NO ANIMAL EMBARRASSES MY SON
LIKE THAT!Copy !req
218. - THE BLUE TEAM IS KILLING US.Copy !req
219. WENDY, YOU HAVE TO GET RID
OF THESE SCRUBS.Copy !req
220. - I'M CAPTAIN, AND I SAY
EVERYONE PLAYS.Copy !req
221. - EVEN DANIEL?Copy !req
222. THAT DWEEB IS WEARING NOSE PLUGS
OUTSIDE THE POOL.Copy !req
223. YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT LEADERS
HAVE TO MAKE HARD DECISIONS.Copy !req
224. - WHAT I'VE LEARNED IS THATCopy !req
225. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH ME BEING IN CHARGE,Copy !req
226. AND AS YOUR CAPTAIN,Copy !req
227. I SUGGEST YOU FIND A WAY
TO DEAL WITH IT.Copy !req
228. - OH, I KNOW HOW
TO DEAL WITH IT.Copy !req
229. - ARE YOU THE CAPTAIN
OF THE BLUE TEAM?Copy !req
230. - YEAH.Copy !req
231. - NOT ANYMORE.Copy !req
232. - SON, YOU ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUTCopy !req
233. WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.Copy !req
234. - I HOPE YOU WIN, DAD.Copy !req
235. - I'M PULLING FOR YOU TOO,
GLENN.Copy !req
236. I'VE DECIDED
TO PUT MY MARRIAGE VOWSCopy !req
237. AHEAD OF THE LOYALTY CHANTCopy !req
238. THE BLUE TEAM PERFORMED
IN THE BALL SHED.Copy !req
239. WHO'S THAT?Copy !req
240. - CAMP OKWAHO'S FAVORITE SON,Copy !req
241. JIMMY KIMMEL!Copy !req
242. - WHY IS EVERYBODY FAWNING
OVER JIMMY KIMMELOPOLIS?Copy !req
243. - DAD, THAT'S JIMMY KIMMEL,Copy !req
244. THE LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST.Copy !req
245. - HUH, BUT WHY WOULD
SOMEONE IN HOLLYWOODCopy !req
246. CHANGE THEIR INCREDIBLY
ETHNIC-SOUNDING LAST NAME?Copy !req
247. HE SHOULD HAVE INTEGRITY
LIKE WOODY ALLEN,Copy !req
248. MARTIN SHEEN,
OR SUPER DAVE OSBORNE.Copy !req
249. - AH, CAMP OKWAHO, WHERE
I FIRST HONED MY COMEDY SKILLSCopy !req
250. AT THE EXPENSE OF THIS GUY.Copy !req
251. - IT'S ME, JIMMY,Copy !req
252. THE GIRL YOU SAID
YOU'D NEVER LEAVE,Copy !req
253. AND THEN YOU LEFT.Copy !req
254. LOOK, IT'S A TATTOO OF US.Copy !req
255. - HEY, ADAM CAROLLA
HAS THE SAME ONE ON HIS BUTT.Copy !req
256. MARTIN,
I'M HERE TO DESTROY YOU,Copy !req
257. AND THIS TIME,
IT'S NOT A JOKE.Copy !req
258. - EASY.Copy !req
259. YOU MIGHT BE RICH, FAMOUS,Copy !req
260. AND SMELL LIKE
OLD SPICE RED ZONE,Copy !req
261. BUT I'M FAR BETTER SHAPE THAN—Copy !req
262. WHAT THE—Copy !req
263. - NETWORK RESEARCH SAYS
FAT GUYS GET 12% MORE LAUGHS.Copy !req
264. - COME ON, DANIEL,
DO IT FOR THE YELLOW TEAM.Copy !req
265. clang!Copy !req
266. - OW!Copy !req
267. - SORRY, CONOR!Copy !req
268. THE IMPORTANT THING IS,
WE'RE HAVING FUN.Copy !req
269. RIGHT, CAPTAIN?Copy !req
270. - RIGHT.
HAVING FUN.Copy !req
271. BUT CAN WE AT LEAST
AIM FOR THE STAKE?Copy !req
272. - HUH?
- WHAT THE—Copy !req
273. - COMPANY, HALT!Copy !req
274. PRESENT CAPTAIN!Copy !req
275. - HELLO, WENDY.Copy !req
276. - BLUE?
YOU TRAITOR!Copy !req
277. - TRAITOR OR PATRIOT?Copy !req
278. ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU
HOW A REAL LEADER WINS.Copy !req
279. - BY KICKING OFF YOUR SCRUBSCopy !req
280. AND LOADING YOUR TEAM
WITH RINGERS?Copy !req
281. - WHO ARE YOU CALLING
A RINGER?Copy !req
282. - UH, LEBRON JAMES.Copy !req
283. - I LOVE CAMP.Copy !req
284. I MAKE EXCELLENT LANYARDS.Copy !req
285. - WE'LL SEE WHO WINS:Copy !req
286. THE TEAM WITH LEBRONS
OR THE TEAM WITH LE BRAINS.Copy !req
287. - OH, NO,
NOT IN MY HOUSE, DANIEL.Copy !req
288. clang!Copy !req
289. - OH, OW!Copy !req
290. - ALL RIGHT, DR. MARTIN.Copy !req
291. THE TEN-MILE RACE
IS WORTH 30 POINTS,Copy !req
292. AND WE NEED THEM.Copy !req
293. LEBRON IS KILLING US.Copy !req
294. - POT HOLDER, DONE.Copy !req
295. - THANKS, KID.Copy !req
296. - NO PROBLEM, JIMMY.Copy !req
297. IT'S JUST BEEN SITTING AROUNDCopy !req
298. SINCE MY HAMSTER
DIED OF RABIES.Copy !req
299. - HI, JIMMY.
IT'S ME, KRISTY KIMMEL.Copy !req
300. I'M JUST KIDDING.Copy !req
301. I PLAN ON HYPHENATING
MY NAMES.Copy !req
302. - LOOK, KRISTY,
I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU,Copy !req
303. SO I FEEL LIKE I CAN
TELL YOU THE TRUTH.Copy !req
304. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.Copy !req
305. - I KNOW WHY YOU PRANKED ME,
KIMMELOPOLIS.Copy !req
306. YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T BEAT ME.Copy !req
307. - YOU SHUT UP!
YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.Copy !req
308. PEOPLE WHO CRAVE FAME
DON'T HAVE INSECURITIES.Copy !req
309. SO JUST SHUT UP!Copy !req
310. - I WILL NOT SHUT UP.Copy !req
311. I NEVER SHUT UP,
JUST ASK MY WIFE.Copy !req
312. - THAT'S TRUE.Copy !req
313. I MOSTLY TUNE HIM OUT.Copy !req
314. - ON YOUR MARKY MARK.Copy !req
315. GET SIZZET.Copy !req
316. GA-ZO-ZO-ZO!Copy !req
317. - I'M NOT FALLING FOR THIS
AGAIN.Copy !req
318. - RUN, DR. MARTIN!
- GO!Copy !req
319. - OH, IT'S NOT A PRANK
THIS TIME.Copy !req
320. AH!Copy !req
321. - PULL!
COME ON, PULL!Copy !req
322. - NOT REPRESENTING.Copy !req
323. - ALL RIGHT, LEBRON,
I'M GETTING BORED.Copy !req
324. - YOU GOT IT, COACH.Copy !req
325. - WHOA!
- OH!Copy !req
326. - WHAT'S UP NEXT, CAPTAIN?Copy !req
327. - GUYS, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES.Copy !req
328. I DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS
ANYBODY BY NAME, SO...Copy !req
329. HOPELESS, USELESS, AND CONOR,
YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM.Copy !req
330. - OH, MAN.Copy !req
331. - I KNEW IT.Copy !req
332. - GOD SAVE ME.
I'VE BECOME WHAT I MOST HATE...Copy !req
333. AND LOVE.Copy !req
334. HA-HA.
I CAUGHT UP TO YOU.Copy !req
335. - WAY TO GO, GLENN.Copy !req
336. BUT IN FAIRNESS TO ME,
I DID STOP TO PAINT THIS.Copy !req
337. DON'T WORRY.Copy !req
338. IT'S HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO DRY.Copy !req
339. LATER.Copy !req
340. - I PLANTED A SAPLING
IN YOUR HONOR.Copy !req
341. MY, LOOK HOW BIG
IT'S GROWN.Copy !req
342. HA.Copy !req
343. I KNEW YOU COULDN'T
KEEP UP THAT PACE.Copy !req
344. I JUST DELIVERED
A BABY DEER.Copy !req
345. I NAMED HIM AFTER YOUCopy !req
346. BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH
FOUR HOURS LATE.Copy !req
347. - AW.Copy !req
348. HEY!Copy !req
349. - WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?Copy !req
350. - WE GOT KICKED OFF
OUR TEAM.Copy !req
351. COURTNEY FOUND OUT
I COULDN'T TIE A KNOT.Copy !req
352. DARN VELCRO.
IT'S SO ENABLING.Copy !req
353. - WE GOT KICKED OFF TOO.Copy !req
354. I HAVE NO UPPER BODY STRENGTH.Copy !req
355. - AND I CAN'T THROW
A HORSESHOE.Copy !req
356. - YOU THINK WE'LL BE SCRUBS
ALL OUR LIVES?Copy !req
357. - HA.
IF WE LIVE THAT LONG.Copy !req
358. - STUPID COLOR WAR!Copy !req
359. STUPID UNIFORM!Copy !req
360. UNTIE IT!
UNTIE IT!Copy !req
361. - I CAN'T!
I DON'T KNOW KNOTS!Copy !req
362. - IT'S FUNNY HOW LIFE WORKS.Copy !req
363. I DATE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
AND BEN AFFLECK,Copy !req
364. AND YOU SLEEP IN A VAN.Copy !req
365. - I'LL HAVE YOU KNOWCopy !req
366. I'M RAISING A FAMILY
IN THAT VAN.Copy !req
367. - YOU GO AHEAD.Copy !req
368. I GOT TO THINK
OF MORE COMEDY ROUTINESCopy !req
369. TO TAUNT YOU WITH.Copy !req
370. - I CAN DO THIS.
I CAN DO THIS.Copy !req
371. - TRY NOT TO RUB YOUR THIGHS
TOGETHER.Copy !req
372. YOU'LL START A FOREST FIRE.Copy !req
373. WHOA!
WHAT THE—Copy !req
374. - HI, JIMMY!Copy !req
375. REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU
I HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL PLANNED?Copy !req
376. YOU AND I
ARE GOING TO REENACTCopy !req
377. THE LEGEND OF
THE LAD IN THE LAKE.Copy !req
378. - THE STORY ABOUT
THE LOVESICK CHUMPCopy !req
379. WHO GOT SHOT
BY A CANNONBALL,Copy !req
380. AND THEN HIS CRAZY GIRLFRIEND
DROWNED HERSELF?Copy !req
381. - DID YOU JUST CALL ME
YOUR GIRLFRIEND?Copy !req
382. ETERNITY IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!Copy !req
383. OKAY, OKAY, HALFWAY POINT.Copy !req
384. WHAT'S WRONG, JIMMY?Copy !req
385. WORE YOURSELF OUT
WITH ALL YOUR LITTLE JOKES?Copy !req
386. GUESS THE LAUGH'S ON YOU
THIS TIME.Copy !req
387. UNLESS YOU PRANKED ME AGAIN
LIKE YOU DID 25 YEARS AGO.Copy !req
388. KIMMELOPOLIS!Copy !req
389. - GIVE UP.
I'VE GOT THE SUPERIOR POWER.Copy !req
390. - OH, REALLY?Copy !req
391. WELL, I'M SITTING ON THREE-TIME
SUPER BOWL CHAMPION TOM BRADY.Copy !req
392. - AND I THOUGHT CARRYING THE
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WAS HARD.Copy !req
393. - WELL, MY GUY WON THE OLYMPICS.Copy !req
394. - AMATEUR EVENT.Copy !req
395. - YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
396. - LADIES, PLEASE.Copy !req
397. OH, I JUST DROPPED MY EGG.Copy !req
398. - HEY, IT'S JIMMY.Copy !req
399. JIMMY, IF YOU'RE HERE—Copy !req
400. OH, NO.
DID YOU PRANK GLENN AGAIN?Copy !req
401. - NO, JUST BEING HELD HOSTAGE
BY THIS CRAZY LADYCopy !req
402. WHO'S GONNA SHOOT ME
WITH A CANNONBALLCopy !req
403. AND THEN DROWN HERSELFCopy !req
404. NEXT TO WHAT'S LEFT
OF MY CORPSE.Copy !req
405. - OH, THAT'S A RELIEF.Copy !req
406. WAIT.
WHAT?Copy !req
407. - JUST LIKE THE LAD
IN THE LAKE.Copy !req
408. ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?Copy !req
409. - BOY, IS SHE IN
FOR A SURPRISE.Copy !req
410. - WHY, I OUGHTA...Copy !req
411. clang!Copy !req
412. - YOU KNOW, KRISTY,
IF YOU LET ME LIVE,Copy !req
413. WE COULD GET A NICE HOUSE
IN CUCKOO TOWN,Copy !req
414. PLENTY OF ROOM
FOR YOUR MANY, MANY CATS.Copy !req
415. WE COULD EVEN DIG UP
YOUR DEAD MOMCopy !req
416. AND KEEP HER
IN THE BROOM CLOSET.Copy !req
417. IN A MINUTE, MY LOVE.Copy !req
418. - DON'T WORRY, KIDS.Copy !req
419. WE'RE NOT IN ANY DANGER.Copy !req
420. AS FOR JIMMY, WELL,Copy !req
421. THE LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW MARKET
IS PRETTY OVERSATURATED.Copy !req
422. - YOU PULLED SOME PRETTY DIRTY
TRICKS OUT THERE, BON WA.Copy !req
423. - I WON'T APOLOGIZE
FOR MY METHODS.Copy !req
424. - APOLOGIZE?
I'M IMPRESSED.Copy !req
425. YOU REALLY CAN
MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS.Copy !req
426. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
A GREAT LEADER ONE DAY.Copy !req
427. - THANKS, BOSS.Copy !req
428. - OF COURSE,
YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST.Copy !req
429. - WHEN THE TIME COMES,
IT'LL BE AN HONOR.Copy !req
430. - I ENVY YOU, KIDS.Copy !req
431. YOU'RE WITNESSING
A NEW CAMP LEGEND IN THE MAKING.Copy !req
432. - OKAY, 10,000
FREQUENT-FLIER MILESCopy !req
433. TO WHOEVER RESCUES ME.Copy !req
434. THAT'S ALMOST HALF
MY FREQUENT-FLIER MILES.Copy !req
435. - STUPID JIMMY.Copy !req
436. STUPID PRANK.Copy !req
437. STUPID VEST.Copy !req
438. AH!Copy !req
439. - DAD?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?Copy !req
440. - KIMMEL BURNED ME AGAIN.Copy !req
441. I'M SUCH A LOSER.Copy !req
442. - SO ARE WE.Copy !req
443. - HEY, I DON'T THINK I'M A—Copy !req
444. - YOU'RE A LOSER, BRAD,
LOSER!Copy !req
445. - COME ON.Copy !req
446. I'LL BUY YOU LOSERS
AN ICE CREAM.Copy !req
447. - LOOK.
WHAT'S GOING ON?Copy !req
448. - HELP!
- GET US OUT OF HERE!Copy !req
449. - GREAT.Copy !req
450. ANOTHER COOL THING
WE'RE EXCLUDED FROM.Copy !req
451. I BET IT'S A SQUARE DANCE.Copy !req
452. - LOSER!Copy !req
453. - WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
454. THE DOOR IS CHAINED.Copy !req
455. AND IT LOOKS LIKE KRISTYCopy !req
456. IS ABOUT TO SHOOT A CANNON
AT JIMMY KIMMEL.Copy !req
457. OH, IT IS SOMETHING COOL.Copy !req
458. - DAD, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?Copy !req
459. - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS,
JIMMY'S LIFE IS IN DANGER,Copy !req
460. SO I WASN'T BEING PRANKED.Copy !req
461. - EVERYONE ELSE IS LOCKED UP.Copy !req
462. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.Copy !req
463. - BUT HOW?Copy !req
464. WE'RE JUST SCRUBS.Copy !req
465. - WE'RE NOT SCRUBS, DANIEL.Copy !req
466. NERDS, YES.
DWEEBS, ABSOLUTELY.Copy !req
467. AND SOME OF US HAVE
LIFE-THREATENING SWEAT ISSUES.Copy !req
468. BUT CAMP IS THE—Copy !req
469. - THE PLACE WHERE YOU GROW
INTO WHO YOU WANT TO BE.Copy !req
470. - MEN, IT'S UP TO USCopy !req
471. TO SAVE AMERICA'S
FAVORITE LATE NIGHT HOST.Copy !req
472. ALL RIGHT, ONE OF AMERICA'S
FAVORITE LATE NIGHT HOSTS.Copy !req
473. ALL RIGHT, JIMMY KIMMEL.Copy !req
474. - LET'S DO THIS.Copy !req
475. OH, DON'T FAIL ME,
LUCKY HORSESHOE.Copy !req
476. - AH, I'LL FOLD IT LATER.Copy !req
477. OWAKU!Copy !req
478. - OKAWAHU!
- OKWAHO!Copy !req
479. - AQUA HO!Copy !req
480. CAMP!Copy !req
481. - BEFORE WE CARRY ON
WITH THE CEREMONY,Copy !req
482. I WOULD LIKE TO SING TO YOU
THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG I KNOW.Copy !req
483. - BRING ON
THE SWEET RELIEF OF DEATH!Copy !req
484. - OH, JIMMY.Copy !req
485. IT'S THOSE KIND OF JOKESCopy !req
486. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING
IN THE AFTERLIFE.Copy !req
487. - THIS IS PROBABLYCopy !req
488. THE MOST TOUCHING
DEATH COMMITMENT CEREMONYCopy !req
489. I HAVE EVER ATTENDED.Copy !req
490. - CA-CAW!Copy !req
491. - CA-CAW!Copy !req
492. - I DID IT!Copy !req
493. I TIED A KNOT!Copy !req
494. NOW IF I CAN ONLY APPLY
THIS TECHNOLOGYCopy !req
495. TO MY SHOELACES.Copy !req
496. YEAH!Copy !req
497. - IT'S HAPPENING!Copy !req
498. - NOW!Copy !req
499. OH-HO-HO!
I DID IT!Copy !req
500. - GOOD JOB, SCRUB!Copy !req
501. - THANKS, SCRUB.Copy !req
502. - COME ON, UPPER BODY STRENGTH.Copy !req
503. - HERE IT GOES.Copy !req
504. - AHH!Copy !req
505. - OHH!Copy !req
506. boom!Copy !req
507. - AHH!Copy !req
508. - I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE,
KIMMELOPOLIS.Copy !req
509. - YOU'RE WELCOME.Copy !req
510. - WHAT'S GOING ON?Copy !req
511. - AH, SO MUCH FOR ROMANCE.Copy !req
512. - AHH!Copy !req
513. crash!Copy !req
514. - WELL, HELLO, HANDSOME.Copy !req
515. DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?
- YES.Copy !req
516. - YOU'RE GOING AWAY
FOR A LONG TIME, SWEETHEART.Copy !req
517. - SWEETHEART?Copy !req
518. - UH, JUST GET IN THE CAR.Copy !req
519. - ALL RIGHT, CAMPERS.Copy !req
520. IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS,Copy !req
521. WE'VE DECIDED
TO CALL COLOR WAR A TIE.Copy !req
522. EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY!Copy !req
523. - FINALLY, A TROPHY
I CAN BE PROUD OF.Copy !req
524. - TROPHIES FOR EVERYONE?Copy !req
525. THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.Copy !req
526. - HOW WILL THE LOSERS KNOW
WHO THEY ARE?Copy !req
527. YOU PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC.Copy !req
528. - YOU WANNA TRY THAT AGAIN,
GIRLS?Copy !req
529. - THE IMPORTANT THING IS,
WE ALL HAD FUN.Copy !req
530. - SO TRUE.
VERY TRUE.Copy !req
531. - AS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON
HERE,Copy !req
532. I'M ENTITLED TO SAY
A FEW WORDS.Copy !req
533. MARATHON MARTIN,
YOU SAVED MY LIFE.Copy !req
534. AMERICA OWES YOU
A DEBT OF GRATITUDE.Copy !req
535. - YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA.Copy !req
536. - AND TO THE REST OF YOU—Copy !req
537. CONOR, DANIEL, SANJAY,
SWEAT RINGS—Copy !req
538. YOU'RE ALL HEROES.Copy !req
539. AND I'M DEFINITELY GONNA
HAVE YOU GUYS ON MY SHOW.Copy !req
540. - AWESOME!
WHEN?Copy !req
541. TAKE CARE.Copy !req
542. - BYE, JIMMY.
- THANKS FOR COMING!Copy !req
543. - I'M PROUD OF YOU, CONOR.Copy !req
544. - I'M PROUD OF YOU TOO.Copy !req
545. - I'M PROUD OF ME THREE.Copy !req
546. I BECAME THE MAN
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.Copy !req
547. - WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
I WAS THE BIGGEST STAR ON TV?Copy !req
548. - I'D SAY I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TV IS.Copy !req
549. - YOU AND I ARE GONNA GET ALONG
JUST FINE.Copy !req
550. - LET'S HIT THE ROAD!Copy !req