1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - IT'S A LONG FLY BALL,Copy !req
15. AND IT FOULS.Copy !req
16. SOME LUCKY FAN'S
TAKING THAT ONE HOME.Copy !req
17. - AH, FENWAY PARK.Copy !req
18. WHAT BETTER WAY
TO SPEND AN AFTERNOONCopy !req
19. THAN WATCHING
TWO WORTHY OPPONENTSCopy !req
20. BATTLE FOR DOMINANCE?Copy !req
21. - YO, THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
22. thwack!Copy !req
23. - NO, THAT'S
HOW WE DO IT IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
24. - OKAY,
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH BASEBALLCopy !req
25. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.Copy !req
26. WE REALLY NEED TO GET THE GIRLS
TO YOUR OLD SUMMER CAMPCopy !req
27. AND THE "DOG" TO THE "VET."Copy !req
28. - TRUST ME; THE "DOG" IS GONNA
HAVE THE TIME OF HIS LIFECopy !req
29. AT THE "VET,"Copy !req
30. JUST LIKE I DID
WHEN I WAS A DOG.Copy !req
31. WOW, THAT WAS SO MUCH PRESSURE,Copy !req
32. REMEMBERING TO SUBSTITUTE
THE WORD "VET" FOR "CAMP."Copy !req
33. - CAMP?Copy !req
34. I'M TOO DELICATE.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO.Copy !req
35. - UGH!
- AGH!Copy !req
36. - WHOA, THERE'S A FAN
CLIMBING OVER THE WALL.Copy !req
37. HE'S ON THE FIELD.Copy !req
38. YEAH, GIVE HIM THE T-BONE,
O'REILLY.Copy !req
39. THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT
IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
40. - OH, HE GOT THAT RIGHT.Copy !req
41. - I'M SO EXCITED.Copy !req
42. TWO WEEKS WITH NO PARENTS.Copy !req
43. THINK HOW MUCH FUN
WE'RE GONNA HAVE.Copy !req
44. - ARCHERY.
- BOYS IN SPORT.Copy !req
45. - CANOEING.
- BOYS IN NATURE.Copy !req
46. - BERRY PICKING.
- BOYS IN BERRIES!Copy !req
47. - BOYS ARE JUST A DISTRACTIONCopy !req
48. FROM ACCOMPLISHING
OUR CAREER GOALS.Copy !req
49. - AND NEED I REMIND YOU
THAT HE IS A BOY?Copy !req
50. - I DON'T WANT TO HAVE FUN.Copy !req
51. clink!Copy !req
52. HA! TRY MAKING ME
GO TO CAMP NOW.Copy !req
53. - OH...Copy !req
54. - CONOR, YOU'VE ALWAYS
HAD SEPARATION ANXIETY.Copy !req
55. EVEN AS THEY WERE STITCHING UP
MY EPISIOTOMY,Copy !req
56. YOU TRIED TO CRAWL BACK IN.Copy !req
57. OH, IT'S MY FAULT
FOR BEING TOO GOOD A MOTHER.Copy !req
58. - WELL, SEND THE BOY UP HERE.Copy !req
59. NO ONE'S EVER ACCUSED ME
OF BEING TOO GOOD OF A FATHER.Copy !req
60. - WENDY, DID YOU SEE WHERE I PUT
MY GLOW STICKS?Copy !req
61. - I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
62. I CAN'T FIND MY BUBBLE GUM
EITHER.Copy !req
63. - RELAX, SON.Copy !req
64. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE
CAMP OKWAHO.Copy !req
65. IT'S A MAGICAL PLACECopy !req
66. WHERE I BECAME
THE MAN I AM TODAY.Copy !req
67. HARD TO BELIEVE,
BUT I WAS ONCE AN AWKWARD KIDCopy !req
68. WHO HAD TROUBLE
MAKING FRIENDS.Copy !req
69. - EAT IT.
- TAKE THAT, LOSER.Copy !req
70. - HE'S SUCH A DORK.Copy !req
71. - FORTUNATELY,
I WAS TAKEN UNDER THE WINGCopy !req
72. OF A WILD AND CRAZY COUNSELOR,
GARY "GONZO" GONZALES.Copy !req
73. - I'M GONZO GONZALES,
AND YOU'RE NOT.Copy !req
74. - HE TRAINED ME FOR THE BIGGESTCopy !req
75. THE TEN-MILE RACE.Copy !req
76. THAT SUMMER, I BECAME SOMETHINGCopy !req
77. A WINNER.Copy !req
78. - GLENN!
GLENN!Copy !req
79. - IN A MINUTE, HONEY.Copy !req
80. CAMP IS THE TIME IN YOUR LIFE
WHEN YOU CAN GROWCopy !req
81. INTO THE PERSON
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.Copy !req
82. - YOU'RE ABOUT TO HIT A DEER!Copy !req
83. - YOU JUST NEED
TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.Copy !req
84. - HUH.Copy !req
85. splat!Copy !req
86. - WHAT DID I HIT?Copy !req
87. - THAT DEER
I JUST WARNED YOU ABOUT.Copy !req
88. - HOW CAN YOU TELL?
IT DOESN'T HAVE A HEAD.Copy !req
89. splat!Copy !req
90. HEY, YOU WERE RIGHT.
IT WAS A DEER.Copy !req
91. CAMP OKWAHO.Copy !req
92. THAT'S INDIAN
FOR "SNAPPING TURTLES,"Copy !req
93. WHICH INFEST THE LAKE
YOU'LL BE SWIMMING IN.Copy !req
94. - SO THIS CAMP?Copy !req
95. INANE CHEERS,
FORCED ENTHUSIASM?Copy !req
96. - IT SEEMS FASCIST,Copy !req
97. BUT FOR SOME REASON,
I DON'T LIKE IT.Copy !req
98. - NONSENSE, GIRLS.Copy !req
99. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.Copy !req
100. I THINK THEY BOUGHT IT.Copy !req
101. LET'S RUN.
- NOT YET.Copy !req
102. WE GOT TO WALK DOWN
MEMORY LANE.Copy !req
103. HERE'S MEMORY LANE AND—Copy !req
104. OOH, THERE'S THE KINDLY OWNER,
MR. VERNON.Copy !req
105. - NO REFUNDS.Copy !req
106. - DON'T LEAVE ME.Copy !req
107. I CAN'T MAKE WATER
IN PUBLIC TOILETS.Copy !req
108. - OH, SON,
THERE'S NO TOILETS HERE.Copy !req
109. YOU SQUAT OVER A RANCID HOLE
IN THE GROUND.Copy !req
110. I BET THAT'S
HOW THEY DO IT IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
111. - HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU CAN MAKE WATER.Copy !req
112. SEE YA, SQUIRT.Copy !req
113. - GOOD-BYE, GIRLS.
I'LL MISS YOU.Copy !req
114. BUT I WON'T MISS
GETTING UP AT DAWN,Copy !req
115. COOKING 100 MEALS A DAY,Copy !req
116. AND CONSTANTLY CLEANING
UP AFTER YOUCopy !req
117. LIKE I'M A FREAKING SLAVE.Copy !req
118. GLENN!
WE JUST GOT OUR LIVES BACK.Copy !req
119. - I'M GONZO GONZALES,
AND YOU'RE NOT.Copy !req
120. - HOLY GUACAMOLE.
CAN IT BE?Copy !req
121. - WHAT DO YOU SAYCopy !req
122. WE DO A LITTLE BOOM-CHICK-A-BOOM
BACK IN MY ROOM?Copy !req
123. - OH, GONZO,
YOU COULD BE MY FATHER.Copy !req
124. - WHATEVER MAKES IT
WORK FOR YOU, BABY.Copy !req
125. - GONZO!
THE MAN WHO CHANGED MY LIFE.Copy !req
126. IT'S ME, MARATHON MARTIN.Copy !req
127. - MARATHON!Copy !req
128. GIVE ME SOME SKIN.Copy !req
129. CHEESEBURGER,
CHEESEBURGER.Copy !req
130. - WOW, YOU'RE
THE SAME IRREVERENT WILD MANCopy !req
131. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN.Copy !req
132. HE'S SO COOL.Copy !req
133. 25 YEARS
IN THE SAME SEASONAL JOBCopy !req
134. WHILE HIS CAMPERS GREW UP
TO HAVE CAREERS AND FAMILIES.Copy !req
135. MEANWHILE, THIS RASCAL
REMAINS PARALYZEDCopy !req
136. IN A STATE
OF STUNTED ADOLESCENCE.Copy !req
137. - YEAH.
WELL, I'D HARDLY SAY—Copy !req
138. - SERIOUSLY, THAT'S THE KIND
OF STUFF YOU ONLY READ ABOUTCopy !req
139. IN PSYCHIATRIC TEXTBOOKS.Copy !req
140. - WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT,Copy !req
141. IT SOUNDS LIKE
I WASTED MY ENTIRE LIFE.Copy !req
142. I'M A MIDDLE-AGED MAN,Copy !req
143. AND TEN MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR,Copy !req
144. I'M FORCED TO LIVE
IN THE BALL SHED.Copy !req
145. - WOW, YOU'RE A COMPLETE WRECK.Copy !req
146. A MINUTE AGO, YOU WERE FINE.Copy !req
147. WHAT CHANGED?Copy !req
148. - SO BEGINS YOUR CAMP OKWAHO
EXPERIENCE.Copy !req
149. - FRESH MEAT'S HERE.Copy !req
150. - I'LL JUST TAKE THE WORST BUNK.Copy !req
151. - WHAT YOU IN FOR?Copy !req
152. - MY PARENTS WANT ME
TO FIND MYSELF.Copy !req
153. - MY PARENTS WANTED
TO REKINDLE THEIR LOVE.Copy !req
154. I WOULDN'T SIT ON THAT
IF I WERE YOU.Copy !req
155. - WHOA.
THANKS.Copy !req
156. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME
EXPLODING WITH FEATHERS.Copy !req
157. - AND OVER HERE IS LAKE OKWAHO.Copy !req
158. LEGEND HAS IT, IT'S HAUNTED
BY THE LAD IN THE LAKE.Copy !req
159. 100 YEARS AGO, A HANDSOME BOY
WAS TO MEET HIS TRUE LOVE HERECopy !req
160. AND RUN AWAY TOGETHER,Copy !req
161. BUT ALAS, HE WAS STRUCK
BY A STRAY CANNONBALL.Copy !req
162. SOME SAY THE LAD STILL ROWS
THE LAKE IN SEARCH OF TRUE LOVE.Copy !req
163. ROMANTIC, ISN'T IT?Copy !req
164. WHEN I WAS A CAMPER HERE,
I MET MY TRUE LOVE.Copy !req
165. HE'LL RETURN FOR ME ONE DAY,
DON'T YOU THINK?Copy !req
166. - DO WE REALLY NEED
TO GO THROUGH ORIENTATION?Copy !req
167. - NO, WE'RE COVERED.Copy !req
168. I'M FROM THE ORIENT.Copy !req
169. - LAD IN THE LAKE.Copy !req
170. HOKEY GHOST STORIES
ARE SO PATRONIZING.Copy !req
171. - BEG YOUR PARDON.Copy !req
172. HAVE EITHER OF YOU FINE LADIES
SEEN MY TRUE LOVE?Copy !req
173. - WOW, HE'S HANDSOME.Copy !req
174. - UH-HUH.Copy !req
175. - OH, HELLO, FRIEND.Copy !req
176. - OH, LOOK AT THAT.Copy !req
177. I HAVE BUTTERFLIES
IN MY STOMACH TOO.Copy !req
178. - 25 YEARS I WASTED.
thwack!Copy !req
179. - WE ARE NOT STAYING HERE
FOR TWO WEEKSCopy !req
180. JUST SO YOU CAN CHEER UP
YOUR OLD COUNSELOR.Copy !req
181. - THAT'S 9,125 DAYS.
thwack!Copy !req
182. - BUT, JACKIE,
HE'S A COMPLETE MESS.Copy !req
183. - THAT'S 219,000 HOURS.
OH, NO!Copy !req
184. I'M GREAT AT MATH,Copy !req
185. AND I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
MAKING LANYARDS.Copy !req
186. thwack!Copy !req
187. - BUT THIS WAS OUR VACATION.Copy !req
188. THINK OF ALL THE ACTION
YOU WERE GONNA GET.Copy !req
189. - REALLY, JACKIE?
- ALL RIGHT, NO ACTION.Copy !req
190. BUT THE OWNER'S
NOT GONNA LET US STAY HERE.Copy !req
191. - ACTUALLY, MR. VERNON HAS BEEN
KIND ENOUGH TO LET US PAY HIMCopy !req
192. SO WE CAN WORK HERE
AS COUNSELORS.Copy !req
193. - THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.Copy !req
194. - SO INSTEAD OF STAYING
AT A FIVE-STAR HOTEL,Copy !req
195. WE'RE STAYING IN THIS DUMP.Copy !req
196. - THAT ALSO SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.Copy !req
197. - GREAT NEWS.Copy !req
198. YOUR MOTHER AND I
ARE STAYING HERE AT CAMP.Copy !req
199. - HA HA!
I'M SAVED.Copy !req
200. THANK YOU, DAD.Copy !req
201. - OH, I'M NOT YOUR DAD ANYMORE.Copy !req
202. I'M JUST AN ORDINARY COUNSELOR.Copy !req
203. I WOULDN'T DREAM OF ROBBING YOU
OF THE EXPERIENCECopy !req
204. OF BEING ON YOUR OWN.Copy !req
205. - WHAT?Copy !req
206. - BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T
GIVE YOU FATHERLY ADVICE.Copy !req
207. SO, CONOR, RIGHT?Copy !req
208. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?Copy !req
209. - THE KIDS ARE MEAN,
I HATE IT HERE,Copy !req
210. AND I WANT TO GO HOME.Copy !req
211. - HMM, WELL, THAT'S REALLY
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PARENTS.Copy !req
212. BUT IF YOUR FATHER WERE HERE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK HE'D SAY?Copy !req
213. HE'D SAY CAMP
IS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITYCopy !req
214. TO REINVENT YOURSELF.Copy !req
215. - THAT DOES SOUND LIKE
SOMETHING HE WOULD SAY.Copy !req
216. BE THE PERSON I WANT TO BE.Copy !req
217. - NOW COME HERE
AND GIVE A STRANGE MAN A HUG.Copy !req
218. - YOO-HOO,
NEW FRIEND.Copy !req
219. COME OVER HERE.Copy !req
220. - WHERE YOU GOING,
FRESH MEAT?Copy !req
221. - ARE YOU TALKING TO ME
OR THE SALISBURY STEAK?Copy !req
222. - SMART GUY, HUH?Copy !req
223. - OH...
- FRESH MEAT'S NOW DEAD MEAT.Copy !req
224. - WHOA!Copy !req
225. thwack!Copy !req
226. - WOW.Copy !req
227. - WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?Copy !req
228. - UH...Copy !req
229. - DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT.Copy !req
230. - BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
231. - OW!Copy !req
232. GO AWAY!
GOT IT!Copy !req
233. - WHY, MRS. MARTIN,Copy !req
234. THANK YOU FOR VOLUNTEERING
FOR THE CAMP'S TALENT SHOW.Copy !req
235. - NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M NOT VOLUNTEERING.Copy !req
236. - REC HALL IS FOR
TALENT SHOW STAFF ONLY.Copy !req
237. YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE.Copy !req
238. - SORRY, BOY.Copy !req
239. YOU KIDS WANT FAME?Copy !req
240. WELL, FAME COSTS.Copy !req
241. AND RIGHT HERE
IS WHERE YOU START PAYING...Copy !req
242. IN SWEAT.Copy !req
243. - HEY,
WHERE'S MY ANKLE CUSHION?Copy !req
244. - THERE YOU GO, SOUTHIE.Copy !req
245. IT'D BE AN HONOR TO HAVE MY HEAD
WHERE YOU JUST PUT YOUR FEED.Copy !req
246. - THANKS.Copy !req
247. I MEAN, WHATEVER.Copy !req
248. - ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
FREE SWIM.Copy !req
249. BUT DON'T LET THE NAME
FOOL YOU.Copy !req
250. EVERYTHING IN LIFE
COMES WITH A COST.Copy !req
251. - HAVE A NICE TRIP.Copy !req
252. clang!Copy !req
253. - HEY!
WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM LIKE THAT.Copy !req
254. - DON'T!
YOU'LL BLOW YOUR COVER.Copy !req
255. JUST LEAVE ME HERE.Copy !req
256. ONE OF US SHOULD LIVE
LONG ENOUGH TO NOT GO TO PROM.Copy !req
257. - YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.Copy !req
258. - NOW TAKE THAT DIRTY SOCKCopy !req
259. AND SHOVE IT IN MY MOUTH.Copy !req
260. - YO, THAT'S HOW
WE WASH OUR SOCKS IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
261. - HEY, LOSER.Copy !req
262. YOU HACKING UP THAT WOOD
LIKE YOU HACKED UP YOUR LIFE?Copy !req
263. WHO'S THAT?Copy !req
264. IT'S ME, YOU WASTEOID.Copy !req
265. LOOK AT WHAT
YOU'VE DONE TO US.Copy !req
266. WE HAD A DEGREE
FROM DARTMOUTH.Copy !req
267. BUT IT WAS IN PARTYING.Copy !req
268. YOU HAD AN ALUMNI CONNECTION
AT ENTERPRISE RENT-A-CAR.Copy !req
269. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DRIVING
A NEW DODGE EVERY MONTH,Copy !req
270. BUT YOU THREW IT AWAYCopy !req
271. TO PLAY FRISBEE
WITH UNGRATEFUL KIDS.Copy !req
272. SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!Copy !req
273. STOP IT!
SHUT UP!Copy !req
274. - HA HA!
CLASSIC GONZO.Copy !req
275. CRAZY AS EVER.Copy !req
276. - I'M NOT CRAZY!Copy !req
277. I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.Copy !req
278. - HO-HO!
REQUEST DENIED.Copy !req
279. I'M GONNA DO FOR YOUCopy !req
280. EVICT YOU FROM BLUESVILLE.Copy !req
281. NOW, IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF DOINGCopy !req
282. BUT WERE TOO SCARED
TO ACT ON?Copy !req
283. - WELL, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
I WOULD MAKE MY MARKCopy !req
284. WITH THIS CHAINSAW.Copy !req
285. BUT NO.
IT WOULD BE WRONG.Copy !req
286. - THERE IS NOTHING WRONGCopy !req
287. WITH YOU ACTING OUT
YOUR PRIMAL DESIRESCopy !req
288. WITH A CHAINSAW.Copy !req
289. - I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
290. I'M AFRAID ONCE I FINISHED,
I'D BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF.Copy !req
291. - YEAH, MAYBE YOU
SHOULDN'T DO IT.Copy !req
292. WAIT.Copy !req
293. YOU COULD HIDE BEHIND
THIS HOCKEY MASK.Copy !req
294. THEN NO ONE WOULD KNOW
IT WAS YOU.Copy !req
295. YES!Copy !req
296. THE THINGS I COULD DO
FROM BEHIND THIS MASK.Copy !req
297. - OH, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
298. IS THIS NOISE
GONNA DRIVE YOU CRAZY?Copy !req
299. - COME LIVE WITH ME
AND BE MY LOVE,Copy !req
300. AND WE WILL
ALL THE PLEASURES PROVE.Copy !req
301. THAT VALLEYS GROW...Copy !req
302. - WOW.Copy !req
303. I FEEL LIKE I'VE DIED
AND GONE TO DEAD GUY HEAVEN.Copy !req
304. - OH, CHESTER.Copy !req
305. - YOU BEING EVISCERATED
BY A CANNONBALLCopy !req
306. WAS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.Copy !req
307. YOU SAID
BOYS WERE A DISTRACTION!Copy !req
308. I LIKED HIM FIRST,Copy !req
309. AND I WILL NOT GO DOWN
WITHOUT A FIGHT.Copy !req
310. YOO-HOO, CHESTER.Copy !req
311. - HUZZAH.Copy !req
312. I'D NARY TURN DOWN
A SERVING OF THAT POTTED BEEF.Copy !req
313. - OH, YOU.Copy !req
314. - DO NOT FLIRT-SNORT WITH HIM.Copy !req
315. - AH!
- OOH!Copy !req
316. - LADIES, PLEASE.Copy !req
317. THE THOUGHT OF CAUSING
TWO FRIENDS TO FIGHTCopy !req
318. WOULD BREAK MY HEART,Copy !req
319. HAD NOT A PELICAN EATEN IT
A CENTURY AGO.Copy !req
320. THE GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO
IS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU.Copy !req
321. I'LL DO SO ON THE MORROWCopy !req
322. IN A GAME SHOW FORMAT.Copy !req
323. - I'M GAME.
- I'LL SHOW.Copy !req
324. - AND THAT'S WHY THE WARDEN
NAMED ME SOUTHIE.Copy !req
325. - HEY, SOUTHIE,
I MADE YOU A WALLET,Copy !req
326. AND I FILLED IT WITH
THE EMERGENCY MONEYCopy !req
327. MY NANA GAVE ME.Copy !req
328. - THROW IT ON THE PILE.Copy !req
329. - THE GREAT CAMP SPIRITCopy !req
330. HAS BESTOWED UPON US
THIS YOUNG BRAVE,Copy !req
331. WHO JUST FLUNKED OUT
OF SUMMER SCHOOL.Copy !req
332. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE...Copy !req
333. - BRONX, 'CAUSE THAT'S
WHERE I'M FROM,Copy !req
334. THE BRONX.Copy !req
335. REPRESENT!Copy !req
336. - REPRESENTING'S COOL.Copy !req
337. - SO WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?Copy !req
338. - SOUTHIE.Copy !req
339. - UH-OH.Copy !req
340. - OOH!Copy !req
341. - WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?Copy !req
342. - I'M ASSERTING MY DOMINANCE.Copy !req
343. THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN THE BRONX.Copy !req
344. - OH, YEAH?Copy !req
345. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.Copy !req
346. AH—OHH.Copy !req
347. THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
348. - NOT BAD.Copy !req
349. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, CAMPER?Copy !req
350. - AH, JOHN—Copy !req
351. - SO CLOSE.Copy !req
352. KEEP THE BROOM.
YOU'LL NEED IT ON THE CREW.Copy !req
353. OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?Copy !req
354. - NOBODY'S NEXT.Copy !req
355. YOU DEMOTED EVERYONE
TO THE CREW.Copy !req
356. - OH!Copy !req
357. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT ON
AN AMATEUR HOURCopy !req
358. WITH ALL THESE AMATEURS?Copy !req
359. - SOMEWHERE IN THAT
CACOPHONY OF PUBERTY,Copy !req
360. THERE'S AN ANGEL
ABOUT TO BE DISCOVERED,Copy !req
361. BY ME,
JACKIE MARTIN, ANGEL DISCOVERER.Copy !req
362. - OH, LORD, INDEED.Copy !req
363. KID, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BE A STAR?Copy !req
364. - ARE YOU SERIOUS?Copy !req
365. SHUT UP!
YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!Copy !req
366. - WHAT A DIVA.Copy !req
367. YOU'RE A NATURAL.Copy !req
368. - YEAH, I DO A LOT OF FISHING
DOWN IN SOUTHIE.Copy !req
369. PIRANHAS, GREAT WHITES.Copy !req
370. - WHOA.
AWESOME.Copy !req
371. - I'M STARTING TO THINK
YOU'RE NOT REALLY FROM SOUTHIE.Copy !req
372. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH
AFTER ALL.Copy !req
373. - YOU WANT A LITTLE MORE
OF THIS?Copy !req
374. I'LL DO IT.Copy !req
375. - HA, THAT AIN'T TOUGH.Copy !req
376. I'LL SHOW YOU TOUGH.Copy !req
377. - I HAVEN'T WASTED MY LIFE.Copy !req
378. THE KIDS LOVE ME.Copy !req
379. THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS.Copy !req
380. - HEY, GONZO!Copy !req
381. GO LONG!Copy !req
382. - SURE THING, BUD!Copy !req
383. - THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN THE BRONX.Copy !req
384. - DARN YOU KIDS!Copy !req
385. YOU'LL RUE THE DAY!Copy !req
386. - LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT,
SOUTHIE.Copy !req
387. - UH, I WAS GONNA PLAY
A NASTY TRICK ON THOSE BEES,Copy !req
388. BUT YOU KIND OF RUINED THAT.Copy !req
389. - THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
YOU COULD TOP ME,Copy !req
390. BUT YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH
TO DO IT.Copy !req
391. - OH, WELL.
THAT'S TOO BAD.Copy !req
392. - HE'S BACKING DOWN.Copy !req
393. - HE'S A SCAREDY-CAT.Copy !req
394. - NO WAY.Copy !req
395. I CAN DO
WHATEVER YOU THROW AT ME.Copy !req
396. - WHEN LITTLE
ADAM LAMBERT THERECopy !req
397. IS OUT ONSTAGE
SINGING HIS HEART OUT,Copy !req
398. YOU ARE GONNA PULL DOWN
HIS PANTSCopy !req
399. IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CAMP.Copy !req
400. - BUT THAT'LL LEAVE
AN EMOTIONAL SCARCopy !req
401. HE'LL WEAR FOR
THE REST OF HIS LIFE.Copy !req
402. - COOL!Copy !req
403. - I MEAN, I'LL DO IT?Copy !req
404. - THEY LAUGH NOW,Copy !req
405. BUT SOON THEY'LL SEE
WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF.Copy !req
406. - WHOO-HOO!
WAH!Copy !req
407. thud!
UGH...Copy !req
408. OH, I REMEMBER
SLAMMING INTO THAT SAME ROCK,Copy !req
409. OL' CRUNCHY.Copy !req
410. - HEY, COUNSELOR GLENN,Copy !req
411. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN PUSHED INTO
SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO?Copy !req
412. - YEAH, IT'S CALLED MARRIAGE.Copy !req
413. PLEASE DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER
I SAID THAT.Copy !req
414. SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?Copy !req
415. YOU SEEM TO BE DOING GREAT.Copy !req
416. - YEAH, BUT MY FRIENDS
ARE KIND OF PUSHING MECopy !req
417. TO DO SOMETHING
I'M NOT SURE I CAN DO.Copy !req
418. - YOU KNOW, PUSHING YOURSELF
CAN BE A GOOD THING,Copy !req
419. LIKE WHEN I RAN
THE TEN-MILE RACE FOR COLOR WAR.Copy !req
420. IN THE BEGINNING,
I WAS CRYING LIKE A BABY,Copy !req
421. BUT BY THE TIME I CROSSED
THAT FINISH LINE,Copy !req
422. I WAS CRYING LIKE A MAN.Copy !req
423. - OH, BUT, DAD—Copy !req
424. - CONOR, I COULD
FIGURE THIS OUT FOR YOU,Copy !req
425. BUT THIS IS YOUR TIME
TO BE INDEPENDENT.Copy !req
426. - YOU'RE RIGHT, DAD.Copy !req
427. I'M GONNA GO THROUGH WITH IT.Copy !req
428. - I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOY.Copy !req
429. - WHOA!Copy !req
430. crunch!Copy !req
431. - OOH!
RIGHT INTO OL' SMACKY.Copy !req
432. - TIEBREAKER QUESTION.Copy !req
433. THE WINNER RECEIVES
MY ETERNAL DEVOTION.Copy !req
434. LADIES, WHO DO YOU SUPPORT
IN THE UPCOMING ELECTION,Copy !req
435. WILLIAM HOWARD TAFTCopy !req
436. OR THE ANARCHIST
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN?Copy !req
437. - NEITHER!Copy !req
438. WOMEN DON'T DESERVE
THE RIGHT TO VOTE!Copy !req
439. WE'RE TOO SILLY!Copy !req
440. - DING!Copy !req
441. SCORE ONE FOR MY DELICATE
LITTLE RAILROAD WORKER.Copy !req
442. - YOU ARE SUCH A SELLOUT.Copy !req
443. - AT LEAST I DIDN'T GIVECopy !req
444. A FIVE-MINUTE RANT
ABOUT THE IRISH.Copy !req
445. - THEY'RE TAKING OUR JOBS.Copy !req
446. - MY DEARS, I HAVE REACHED
MY CONCLUSION.Copy !req
447. I HEREBY PLEDGE MY LOVE—
AH!Copy !req
448. - CHESTER MCCALL CHISLEHURST,Copy !req
449. YOU'RE COURTING
THE LIVING AGAIN!Copy !req
450. - WHO ARE YOU?Copy !req
451. - OY, IT'S THE OLD
ANCHOR AND CHAIN.Copy !req
452. - AFTER MY DADDY
DESANGUINATED CHESTER,Copy !req
453. I WAS FOOL ENOUGH
TO THROW MYSELF IN THE LAKECopy !req
454. TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH THIS
NE'ER-DO-WELL SCALLYWAG.Copy !req
455. THIS ETERNITY'S
BEEN DRAGGING ON FOREVER.Copy !req
456. clang!Copy !req
457. OHH!Copy !req
458. - WHAT A JERK.Copy !req
459. IT'S GHOSTS LIKE HIMCopy !req
460. THAT GIVE THE LIVING DEAD
A CREEPY REPUTATION.Copy !req
461. - NO KIDDING.Copy !req
462. THAT WAS PROBABLY
THE CREEPIEST THINGCopy !req
463. WE'LL EVER EXPERIENCE
IN OUR LIVES.Copy !req
464. - GROSS!Copy !req
465. - TONIGHT, I'LL SHOW THEM.Copy !req
466. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL.Copy !req
467. AGH!Copy !req
468. OH.Copy !req
469. - INTRODUCING JACKIE MARTIN.Copy !req
470. NO REFUNDS.Copy !req
471. - HANG ONTO YOUR HATS, BOYS.Copy !req
472. - OH!Copy !req
473. I BET SEEING ALL THOSE PEOPLE
IN THE AUDIENCECopy !req
474. GIVES YOU STAGE FRIGHT.Copy !req
475. NO ONE WILL THINK
ANY LESS OF YOUCopy !req
476. IF YOU BACK OUT.Copy !req
477. - BACK OUT?Copy !req
478. NO, THIS IS MY CHANCE
TO FIT IN.Copy !req
479. I NEED THIS, SOUTHIE.Copy !req
480. - MY WIFE BETTER
APPRECIATE THIS.Copy !req
481. I'M TAPING OVER GLEE.Copy !req
482. - HEY, KEEP THAT THING RUNNING.Copy !req
483. SOMETHING AWESOME
IS GONNA GO DOWN.Copy !req
484. - YES, INDEED,
DANIEL'S TROUSERS.Copy !req
485. - DUDE!
NOT IN FRONT OF THE COUNSELOR.Copy !req
486. - WHY?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
487. YOU COULD TELL ME.Copy !req
488. I'M THE COOL COUNSELOR,
RIGHT?Copy !req
489. I'M BORAT, VERY NICE.Copy !req
490. HIGH FIVE.Copy !req
491. - THAT KID
IS GONNA PANTS THAT KID.Copy !req
492. - WHAT?Copy !req
493. - WE GOT SOME CARVING TO DO!Copy !req
494. - YEAH!Copy !req
495. LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BAND.Copy !req
496. OH, THANK YOU!Copy !req
497. YOU KNOW, OF THE MANY TALENTS
I'VE PUT ON DISPLAY TONIGHT,Copy !req
498. AND THERE ARE MANY,Copy !req
499. THERE'S ONE
I'VE YET TO SHOW YOU:Copy !req
500. MY TALENT FOR FINDING TALENT.Copy !req
501. CAMP OKWAHO, I PRESENT YOU
DANIEL MCGUFFIN-SCHWARTZ.Copy !req
502. - HI.Copy !req
503. UH, I'M GONNA SING
AMAZING GRACE.Copy !req
504. - OH, CONOR,
WHAT HAVE I STEERED YOU TO?Copy !req
505. - GO FOR IT!Copy !req
506. - OH.
WHAT AM I DOING?Copy !req
507. THIS IS NOT THE PERSON
I WANT TO BE.Copy !req
508. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
509. - I'M BEING YOUR FRIEND.Copy !req
510. - NO, YOU'RE NOT!Copy !req
511. YOU'RE STEALING MY SPOTLIGHT,
JERK!Copy !req
512. - YEAH!Copy !req
513. - UGH!
- WHOA!Copy !req
514. - THAT'S HOW WE DO IT
IN WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT.Copy !req
515. - HE DIDN'T DO IT.Copy !req
516. HE DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.Copy !req
517. - OH, NO.
POOR CONOR.Copy !req
518. THESE KIDS ARE GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT THISCopy !req
519. FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.Copy !req
520. - NO, THIS IS CAMP.Copy !req
521. I GUARANTEE SOMETHING
EVEN CRAZIER IS GONNA HAPPEN.Copy !req
522. - SEE, NEGATIVE NELLY?Copy !req
523. - ALL RIGHT, YOU KIDS.Copy !req
524. TIME FOR THE FINALE
OF YOUR LIVES!Copy !req
525. - I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET YOU
OUT OF YOUR FUNK,Copy !req
526. YOU NUT JOB.Copy !req
527. - I LOVE YOU, MAN!Copy !req
528. - BACK AT YOU, BRO.Copy !req
529. crunch!Copy !req
530. - WHOA!
- OH, NO!Copy !req
531. - HA, VOLLEY.Copy !req
532. - AH, THERE'S MY BOY,
WHACKING THE OLD SHUTTLECOCK,Copy !req
533. JUST LIKE HIS POPS.Copy !req
534. - SORRY, CONOR.Copy !req
535. - THIS PLACE IS MAGIC, GLENN.Copy !req
536. THREE DAYS AGO,
THOSE KIDS WERE ENEMIES.Copy !req
537. NOW THEY'RE
THE BEST OF FRIENDS.Copy !req
538. IF YOU WANT BOYS TO CONNECT,Copy !req
539. GET THEM TO PULL DOWN
THEIR PANTS.Copy !req