1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - THE MUSEUM OF APPALACHIA?Copy !req
15. DO WE REALLY NEED TO BE HERE?Copy !req
16. - YEAH, I DON'T EVEN
LIKE APPLES.Copy !req
17. - NO, YOU KIDS NEED TO SEE WHAT
ABJECT POVERTY LOOKS LIKE.Copy !req
18. THEN WE'LL HAVE
A NICE, BIG LUNCH.Copy !req
19. - THIS IS HOW PEOPLE HERE
LIVED 200 YEARS AGO.Copy !req
20. AND THIS IS HOW THEY LIVE TODAY.Copy !req
21. - WOW.Copy !req
22. PROGRESS, KIDS.Copy !req
23. IT'S WHAT MAKES
THE UNITED STATESCopy !req
24. ONE OF THE TOP COUNTRIES
IN NORTH AMERICA.Copy !req
25. LOOK AT ALL
THE FAMOUS TENNESSEANSCopy !req
26. WHO OVERCAME TERRIBLE HARDSHIPS.Copy !req
27. DOLLY PARDON GREW UP
WITH A DIRT FLOOR,Copy !req
28. AND TEEN HEARTTHROB DJ QUALLS
GREW UP IN A HOLLOW TREE.Copy !req
29. - JOHNNY KNOXVILLE GREW UP
SO POOR,Copy !req
30. HE HAD TO STRAP DYNAMITE
TO HIS TESTICLESCopy !req
31. JUST TO EARN ENOUGH MONEY
TO BUY MORE DYNAMITE.Copy !req
32. - OOH, RIGHT IN THE DING-DING.Copy !req
33. - REALLY MAKES YOU
APPRECIATE WHAT WE HAVE,Copy !req
34. DOESN'T IT, KIDS?Copy !req
35. - FASCINATING.
- INTERESTING.Copy !req
36. - TELL ME MORE.Copy !req
37. - HEY, YOU KIDS
ARE AGREEING WITH ME.Copy !req
38. SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE.Copy !req
39. - FASCINATING.
- INTERESTING.Copy !req
40. - TELL ME MORE.Copy !req
41. - OH.
- HEY.Copy !req
42. - HOW CAN YOU KIDS SLEEP THROUGHCopy !req
43. SUCH AN EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING
EXHIBIT?Copy !req
44. - I JUST TRY TO DREAM
ABOUT RUNNING NAKED,Copy !req
45. LATE FOR AN EXAM
WITH MY ALL MY TEETH CRUMBLING.Copy !req
46. - YOU CHILDREN HAVE NO IDEA
HOW EASY YOU HAVE IT.Copy !req
47. - YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
48. WHEN YOU WERE A KID,
THERE WERE ONLY 100 CHANNELS.Copy !req
49. - AND YOU HAD TO WATCH
GIANT DVDs CALLED LASERDISCS.Copy !req
50. - AND IF YOU TURNED ON
THE TV AT 8:10,Copy !req
51. YOU COULDN'T REWIND
TO THE BEGINNINGCopy !req
52. OF MORK AND MINDY,
WHATEVER THAT IS.Copy !req
53. - I SUPPOSE I'M TO BLAME
FOR SPOILING YOU,Copy !req
54. LAVISHING YOU WITH ALL THIS.Copy !req
55. crash!Copy !req
56. THE POINT IS, NOT EVERYONE
IN THIS WORLD IS LUCKY ENOUGHCopy !req
57. TO LIVE IN THEIR CAR.Copy !req
58. YOU KIDS COULD LEARN A LITTLE
BY GIVING BACK TO OUR COMMUNITY.Copy !req
59. - WE DON'T HAVE A COMMUNITY.Copy !req
60. - ALL RIGHT, ANY COMMUNITY.
HEY, WE'RE IN TENNESSEE.Copy !req
61. WHAT BETTER PLACE
TO DO VOLUNTEER WORKCopy !req
62. THAN RIGHT HERE
IN THE VOLUNTEER STATE?Copy !req
63. - HAWAII?
- TUSCANY?Copy !req
64. - IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?Copy !req
65. - HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?Copy !req
66. LOOKS LIKE IT WAS FIXED BY
A REAL, LIVE TENNESSEAN-ANAN.Copy !req
67. WHO SAYS THE ECONOMY'S
IN THE TOILET?Copy !req
68. THERE'S LOT'S
OF NON-PAYING JOBS OUT THERE.Copy !req
69. - HABITAT FOR HUMANITY.
GRAFFITI REMOVAL. TUTOR A BUM.Copy !req
70. - SORRY, MOM.
I DON'T WORK FOR FREE.Copy !req
71. - AND I ONLY WORK FOR FREE
FOR COURTNEY.Copy !req
72. - AH, CITIZENS FIELD BRIGADE.Copy !req
73. LOVE THE PICTURE,
AN EAGLE HOLDING A FLAGCopy !req
74. ON TOP OF A BEAR FIRING A RIFLE.Copy !req
75. ADD A CHIMP IN A SPACESUITCopy !req
76. AND YOU'RE LOOKING
AT THE PERFECT TATTOO.Copy !req
77. - WELL, PARDON ME, DR. MARTIN.Copy !req
78. THESE AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO BE OUT HERE.Copy !req
79. - SO DID YOU FIND ANY GOOD
VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES FOR US?Copy !req
80. - YES, MA'AM.
I THINK I HAVE.Copy !req
81. KIDS, Y'ALL WILL BE HELPING OUT
AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL.Copy !req
82. AND, DR. MARTIN,
HOW WOULD YOU FEELCopy !req
83. ABOUT BEING A VOLUNTEER FIREMAN?Copy !req
84. - OOH.Copy !req
85. OOH.Copy !req
86. - SO DO YOU LIKE IT?Copy !req
87. - LIKE IT?
HECK, I LIKE IT.Copy !req
88. - GLENN, THAT'S SO EXCITING.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME?Copy !req
89. - YOU'RE GONNA PREPARE
AND DELIVER MEALSCopy !req
90. TO OBESE SHUT-INS IN A PROGRAM
WE CALL "GRUB FOR TUBS."Copy !req
91. - YEAH, COOKING AND DRIVING
IS KIND OF WHAT I DO ALL DAY.Copy !req
92. I WOULDN'T MIND BEING
A FIREFIGHTER, THOUGH.Copy !req
93. - FIREFIGHTER?Copy !req
94. YOU'RE A REAL LADY COMEDIAN,Copy !req
95. LIKE A FEMALE JOY BAHAR.Copy !req
96. - WOW, THAT IS
INCREDIBLY CHAUVINISTIC.Copy !req
97. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I WOULD BE
A GREAT FIREFIGHTER.Copy !req
98. - OH, YOU MEAN ON HALLOWEEN?Copy !req
99. BECAUSE WE DON'T
CELEBRATE THAT HERE,Copy !req
100. ON A COUNT OF
IT SUMMONS THE DEVIL.Copy !req
101. - CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?Copy !req
102. - I DON'T KNOW, JACKIE.
SOME JOBS ARE ONLY FOR MEN.Copy !req
103. WE HAVE CERTAIN STRENGTHS,
LIKE STRENGTH.Copy !req
104. - WHAT?Copy !req
105. - UH-OH.
- DAD'S IN TROUBLE.Copy !req
106. - PINEAPPLE. PINEAPPLE.
PINEAPPLE.Copy !req
107. - MY OWN HUSBAND A SEXIST.
- SEXIST?Copy !req
108. IF I DIDN'T RESPECT WOMEN,
WOULD I RISK MY LIFE EVERY DAYCopy !req
109. TO SAVE THEM FROM FIRES
THEY SET BY LEAVING THE IRON ONCopy !req
110. OR CARRY THEM DOWN A LADDER
BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANTCopy !req
111. TO GET THEIR PRETTY
LITTLE DRESSES DIRTY?Copy !req
112. NO, I DO THINGS
BECAUSE I'M A HERO,Copy !req
113. AND I'LL CONTINUE TO DO THEM
UNTIL I FIND A CURE FOR FIRE.Copy !req
114. - SIR, YOU JUST MIGHT BE
THE WISEST MAN IN THIS TOWN.Copy !req
115. - NOW, THAT I DON'T DOUBT.Copy !req
116. - OKAY, GIRLS, YOU BE GOING
TO READ TO COMA PATIENTS.Copy !req
117. AND, BOY WITH THE BURNED
JIFFY POP HAIR,Copy !req
118. YOU BRING YOUR THERAPY DOG
AND COME FOLLOW ME.Copy !req
119. WAKEY, WAKEY, MISSUS.Copy !req
120. CANINE THE THERAPY DOG
IS HERE TO VISIT YOU.Copy !req
121. - OH, HOW NICE.
I GET SO LONELY.Copy !req
122. COULD SOMEONE PLEASE
PUT THE DOG ON THE BED?Copy !req
123. - COME ON, BOY.
MAKE A BLIND OLD LADY SMILE.Copy !req
124. - WHAT A CURLY COAT YOU HAVE,
CANINE.Copy !req
125. - GOOD DOG.Copy !req
126. OOH, YOU'RE GONNA DO NOTHING
ALL DAY BUT CURL UP,Copy !req
127. EAT BACON, AND WATCH TV.Copy !req
128. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?Copy !req
129. - WHOA.
RUFF. RUFF.Copy !req
130. RUFF.Copy !req
131. - WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE VOLUNTEERING.Copy !req
132. SHOULDN'T WE BE READING
TO MRS. PEPPINS OVER HERE?Copy !req
133. - WHY BOTHER?
SHE'S IN A COMA.Copy !req
134. OH, I CAN'T GET COMFORTABLE.Copy !req
135. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE
SLEEP FOREVER?Copy !req
136. beep!Copy !req
137. - HOW LONG WAS I OUT?Copy !req
138. - OH, MY GOD.
WE WOKE HER FROM HER COMA.Copy !req
139. - SORRY. WE DIDN'T MEAN TO.
WE'LL PUT YOU BACK.Copy !req
140. - IT'S A MIRACLE.Copy !req
141. YOU ROUSED ME
FROM MY ENDLESS SLUMBER.Copy !req
142. HOW CAN I REPAY YOU?Copy !req
143. - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
144. - YEAH, GIVE IT A NIGHT
AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING GOOD.Copy !req
145. beep!Copy !req
146. UGH.Copy !req
147. NOW I WISH I'D EMPTIED
THAT BEDPAN.Copy !req
148. - WELCOME TO
THE SWEETWATER VOLUNTEERCopy !req
149. FIRE DEPARTMENT TRYOUT.Copy !req
150. LOOK TO YOUR LEFT!
NOW LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT!Copy !req
151. BY THIS TIME TOMORROW, ONLY ONE
OF YOU WILL BE LEFT STANDING!Copy !req
152. - OH, I HOPE IT'S ME.Copy !req
153. - RECRUIT MARTIN, WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK YOU CAN BE A FIREMAN?Copy !req
154. - WELL, I BURNED DOWN MY HOUSE,
SO I DO HAVE EXPERIENCE.Copy !req
155. - THE QUESTION IS,
DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF?Copy !req
156. - I HAD IT ON DVD, BUT I LOST IT
IN THE HOUSE FIRE.Copy !req
157. DON'T TELL NETFLIX.
I TOLD 'EM IT NEVER CAME.Copy !req
158. - ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!Copy !req
159. W-W-WHOA!Copy !req
160. - GO!Copy !req
161. - SOMEONE CALL
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!Copy !req
162. SO WHEN DO I GET MY UNIFORM?Copy !req
163. OH, AND DOES IT COME WITH TIPS
ON HOW TO GROW A MOUSTACHE?Copy !req
164. - I'M SORRY, GLENN, BUT YOU
FAILED EVERY TEST WE HAVE.Copy !req
165. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU CAN'T HELP THE DEPARTMENT.Copy !req
166. YOU CAN BE ON OUR SUPPORT SQUAD.Copy !req
167. - SUPPORT SQUAD, HUH?
THAT SOUNDS MANLY.Copy !req
168. YOU KNOW, LIKE SUPPORT HOSE.Copy !req
169. - AGNES, WE GOT A NEW
HYDRANT HOTTIE.Copy !req
170. - HYDRANT HOTTIE?Copy !req
171. - WE ONLY HAVE THESE SHIRTS
IN WOMEN'S SIZES.Copy !req
172. - YOO-HOO.Copy !req
173. UP HERE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR.Copy !req
174. - OH, HI.Copy !req
175. - I'M AFRAID
I BROKE THE ELEVATORCopy !req
176. AND MOST OF THE STAIRS.Copy !req
177. YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE
THE FIRE ESCAPE.Copy !req
178. AND BRING UP MY LAUNDRY
AND MY OXYGEN TANK TOO.Copy !req
179. - YEAH, AND GRAB
THE GARDEN HOSE.Copy !req
180. I'MA WANTS TO
MAKE SOME KOOL-AID.Copy !req
181. - CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GLENN GUY
BURNED DOWN HIS OWN HOUSE?Copy !req
182. AND I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
HE DANCES ON THE POLE.Copy !req
183. - AND WOULD YOU MIND GETTING
MY KITTY BOOTS FROM THAT TREE?Copy !req
184. - COME ON. COME ON.Copy !req
185. COME ON.Copy !req
186. - WOW, DID YOU SEE THAT, BOYS?Copy !req
187. - SHE'S A BORN FIREFIGHTER.Copy !req
188. - YOU FORGOT THE BUTTER.Copy !req
189. - DO YOU REALLY
THINK YOU NEED IT?Copy !req
190. - IT'S TO HELP ME SLIDE OUT
OF THIS CHAIR.Copy !req
191. - SO IF YOU'RE NOT A FIREMAN,
WHAT ARE YOU?Copy !req
192. - I'M WHAT YOU CALL
A "HYDRANT HOTTIE."Copy !req
193. IT'S JUST BELOW FIREMAN.Copy !req
194. I DO THE LAUNDRY, CUT THE CRUST
OFF THEIR SANDWICHES,Copy !req
195. GIVE THE OCCASIONAL FOOT RUB.Copy !req
196. YOU KNOW, MAN STUFF.Copy !req
197. - SOUNDS HUMILIATING,
AND I WORK FOR AN 11-YEAR-OLD.Copy !req
198. - LISTEN, LADY,
NO ONE STARTS AT THE TOPCopy !req
199. OF THE FIRE DEPARTMENT LADDER.Copy !req
200. AND I MEAN NO ONE.Copy !req
201. - GUESS WHAT.
I'M A FIREFIGHTER.Copy !req
202. - EXCUSE A—
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?Copy !req
203. - OH, IT JUST KILLS YOUCopy !req
204. THAT I'M DOING A MAN'S JOB
AND YOU'RE NOT.Copy !req
205. - OH, I COULD CARE LESS
ABOUT IT.Copy !req
206. I ALWAYS GET NIGHT TERRORS AND
WAKE UP CRYING IN THE SHOWER,Copy !req
207. BUT IF YOU THINK I'M SEXIST,Copy !req
208. WAIT TILL YOU'RE AROUND
THESE FIREMEN.Copy !req
209. DON'T EXPECT TO BE EMBRACED
WITH OPEN ARMS.Copy !req
210. - HEY, THERE SHE IS!Copy !req
211. - HEY, JACKIE!Copy !req
212. - WELCOME TO
THE SWEETWATER F.D., JACKIE.Copy !req
213. - THANKS, GUYS.Copy !req
214. - THEY'RE JUST GOING SOFT ON YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL.Copy !req
215. IF THEY CONSIDERED YOU
A REAL EQUAL, THEY'D HAZE YOU.Copy !req
216. - CHILI BATH!Copy !req
217. - SQUIDOOSH!Copy !req
218. YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW, JACKIE.Copy !req
219. - YEAH, ONE OF US.Copy !req
220. - HYDRANT HOTTIE, LESS TALKING!
MORE MOPPING!Copy !req
221. - OH.Copy !req
222. - I HAVE A LITTLE TREAT FOR YOU,
CANINE.Copy !req
223. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.Copy !req
224. OH, GOOD BOY.Copy !req
225. YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE
MY DOG AT HOME.Copy !req
226. RUFFLES USED TO BE
SO AFFECTIONATE,Copy !req
227. BUT WE GREW APART.Copy !req
228. BUT YOU LOVE ME, BOY,
DON'T YOU?Copy !req
229. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.Copy !req
230. - RYE, RUFF RUE.Copy !req
231. - THAT ALMOST SOUNDED
LIKE YOU SAID YOU LOVE ME.Copy !req
232. OOH, YOU WARM AN OLD LADY'S
BATTERY-ASSISTED HEART.Copy !req
233. - ROW.Copy !req
234. - HEY, MRS. PEPPINS.
WE'RE BACK TO CHECK ON YOU.Copy !req
235. - I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
YOU'VE BEEN ON ICE,Copy !req
236. BUT IF THE REWARD IS CASH,Copy !req
237. THE DOLLAR DOESN'T BUY
WHAT IT USED TO.Copy !req
238. - NO, YOU'LL BE PAID
WITH SOMETHING MONEY CAN'T BUY.Copy !req
239. - IS THERE ANYTHING
MONEY CAN'T BUY?Copy !req
240. - WHILE I WAS IN MY COMA,
I HEARD THOSE THINGS YOU SAID.Copy !req
241. YOU TWO NEED TO DISCOVER
THE JOYS OF VOLUNTEERING.Copy !req
242. - I THINK SHE'S STROKING OUT.Copy !req
243. - YOU'RE INCREDIBLE,
MRS. PEPPINS.Copy !req
244. - PLEASE, CALL ME MARIA.Copy !req
245. MARIA PEPPINS?Copy !req
246. - LOOK WHO'S ON PAGE ONE
RESCUING A KITTEN.Copy !req
247. I DROPPED HER SISTER, BUT STILL,
I'M A HERO.Copy !req
248. - WOW, FIRST
FEMALE FIREFIGHTER IN TOWN.Copy !req
249. YOU'RE A REAL TRAILBLAZER.Copy !req
250. - WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY
"TRAILBLAZER."Copy !req
251. - NEITHER WOULD I.
WHAT? I'M AGREEING WITH YOU.Copy !req
252. - FUNNY I DON'T SEE YOU
ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE PAPER,Copy !req
253. HYDRANT HOTTIE.Copy !req
254. - WELL, I WOULD BE IF
THEY HAD THE COURAGECopy !req
255. TO PUBLISH
MY FIREHOUSE CORNBREAD RECIPE.Copy !req
256. BUT NO, IT'S ALL POLITICS.Copy !req
257. - OH, IT'S THE GUYS.
I INVITED THEM OVER FOR POKER.Copy !req
258. - HEY, JACKIE!
- HEY, JACKIE!Copy !req
259. - COMING AT YOU.
- YEAH, PUT HER THERE.Copy !req
260. - AH, SOME GOOD OLD COLLEGIAL,
NONSEXUAL ASS SLAPPING.Copy !req
261. COME ON.
DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING.Copy !req
262. OH, FINE.
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.Copy !req
263. - FINAL ROUND, THE HOT STUFF.
JALAPENOS! GO!Copy !req
264. YOU GOT THIS, JACKIE!
WINNER!Copy !req
265. - HEY, SUNSHINE, ROUND OF BEERS,
WILL YA?Copy !req
266. - SURE THING, DUKE,Copy !req
267. AS SOON AS I GET DONE WASHING
EVERYONE'S SOCKS.Copy !req
268. - OH, I'LL GET IT.
- NO, YOU SIT, JACKIE.Copy !req
269. I'LL GET IT.
- REALLY?Copy !req
270. - WHAT, YOU THINK MY EGO'S
SO FRAGILE I CAN'T FETCH BEERSCopy !req
271. FOR MY WIFE
AND HER MACHO COWORKERS?Copy !req
272. - THANKS.Copy !req
273. OH, AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
CAN YOU BRING SOME CHIPS?Copy !req
274. - CHIPS?
NOW YOU WANT CHIPS TOO?Copy !req
275. YOU THINK MY EGO'S SO STRONG,
I CAN FETCH YOU CHIPS?Copy !req
276. I QUIT.
- GLENN, I DIDN'T MEAN—Copy !req
277. - I'M GONNA FIND
A NEW VOLUNTEER JOB,Copy !req
278. ONE THAT APPRECIATES ME
FOR THE MAN I AM.Copy !req
279. AND I'M TAKING
MY CORNBREAD WITH ME.Copy !req
280. - LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.Copy !req
281. THIS LADY FIREFIGHTER
TAKES YOUR JOB,Copy !req
282. THEN HAS THE GUMPTION
TO ASK YOU TO GET HER BEER?Copy !req
283. - OH, IT'S WAY WORSE THAN THAT.Copy !req
284. BEER AND CHIPS.Copy !req
285. - THE WORLD'S GONE TOPSY-TURVY,
AMIGO MIO.Copy !req
286. YOU GOT THE GOVERNMENT
OUT OF CONTROL,Copy !req
287. MEN HAVING BABIES,Copy !req
288. SCHOOLS TRYING TO TEACH
THAT I USED TO BE A MONKEY.Copy !req
289. - THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A TAIL.Copy !req
290. ANYWAY, I WAS WONDERING
IF THERE WAS ANOTHER GROUPCopy !req
291. I COULD VOLUNTEER FOR.Copy !req
292. - I WASN'T SURE YOU WERE
READY FOR THIS EARLIER.Copy !req
293. NOW I'M CONVINCED
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF.Copy !req
294. - I NEVER GOT THE DVD.
I SWEAR.Copy !req
295. - PUT YOUR PEEPERS
ON THIS BAD BOY.Copy !req
296. - "CITIZENS FIELD BRIGADE."Copy !req
297. OH, I DO LOVE THAT LOGO.Copy !req
298. AH, THIS IS THE LIFE, HUH?Copy !req
299. PACKED IN A TRUCK WITH DJ QUALLSCopy !req
300. GOING GOD KNOWS WHERE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.Copy !req
301. SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO,
PLAY POKER,Copy !req
302. SLAP EACH OTHER'S BUTTS?Copy !req
303. - NEGATORY.Copy !req
304. WE'RE DOING SOMETHING WAY MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THAT.Copy !req
305. - YEAH?Copy !req
306. - WE'RE STARTING A WAR.Copy !req
307. - HUH.Copy !req
308. YOU KNOW, IN RETROSPECT,Copy !req
309. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY
DOING GIRLY THINGS.Copy !req
310. - GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE
TO FIRST THANK GENERAL ALVAREZCopy !req
311. FOR SECURING
OUR SECRET HEADQUARTERSCopy !req
312. BY STEALING THE KEYS
TO HIS UNCLE'S CORN SILO.Copy !req
313. - IT WAS EASY.Copy !req
314. HE ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP
AFTER I RUB HIS TOOTSIES.Copy !req
315. - SO YOU'RE SAYING
NO ONE KNOWS WHERE I AM?Copy !req
316. BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HEAR.Copy !req
317. - SWEETWATER'S BEEN INFILTRATED.Copy !req
318. ALIENS WALK AMONG US,
TAKING OUR SOCIAL SERVICESCopy !req
319. AND BRINGING DIVERSITY
TO OUR SUPERMARKET SHELVES.Copy !req
320. I AM OF COURSE TALKING ABOUT...
- UH-OH.Copy !req
321. - THE LIZARD PEOPLE
FROM THE PLANET ZERKZAL.Copy !req
322. - OH, GOOD. HE'S NOT RACIST.
HE'S JUST CRAZY.Copy !req
323. OH, GOD.
HE'S CRAZY.Copy !req
324. - ENSIGN DDS GLENN BECK MARTIN,Copy !req
325. ARE YOU GETTING COLD FEET?Copy !req
326. - VERY COLD.Copy !req
327. I BETTER HAVE THE WIFE
DRAW A WARM BATH WITH ROSEWATERCopy !req
328. AND CRANK UP SOME TAYLOR SWIFT.Copy !req
329. - GENTLEMEN,
I THINK WE GOT OURSELVESCopy !req
330. A REAL, LIVE LIZARD PEOPLE.Copy !req
331. - NO, GUYS.
I SWEAR.Copy !req
332. OKAY, I KNOW THAT LOOKS BAD.Copy !req
333. - MY OWN HUSBAND A SEXIST PIG.Copy !req
334. I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM.
- YEAH, ME NEITHER.Copy !req
335. YOU KNOW, TO GET A GOOD SHINE
ON THAT SIREN,Copy !req
336. YOU REALLY GOT TO LEAN INTO IT.Copy !req
337. - LIKE THIS?
- OH, YEAH.Copy !req
338. - WHAT WAS THAT?Copy !req
339. - I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
340. CERTAINLY NOT A SEXY SHOT
FOR A FIREMAN'S CALENDAR.Copy !req
341. - SEXY SHOT
FOR A FIREMAN'S CALENDAR?Copy !req
342. - HOW DID SHE FIGURE IT OUT?Copy !req
343. - DOESN'T MATTER.
THE JIG IS UP.Copy !req
344. SHE KNOWS THE CALENDARS
ARE IN THE CLOSET.Copy !req
345. - IN THE CLOSET?Copy !req
346. - HOW IS SHE ALWAYS
ONE STEP AHEAD OF US?Copy !req
347. - OKAY, THAT IS NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.Copy !req
348. - SO YOU ONLY MADE ME A FIREMAN
TO EXPLOIT ME FOR YOUR CALENDAR?Copy !req
349. - NO.
OF COURSE NOT.Copy !req
350. LANCE ENJOYS WATCHING YOU SLEEP.Copy !req
351. - OH.Copy !req
352. - MARIA, WE'RE BACK
FOR ANOTHER DOSECopy !req
353. OF YOUR PATENTED SUNNY-SIDE-UP,
SONG-FILLED WISDOM.Copy !req
354. - SHE'S GONE.Copy !req
355. - SHE'S PROBABLY JUST
ROUNDING UP WOODLAND CREATURESCopy !req
356. FOR OUR NEXT NUMBER.Copy !req
357. - EXCUSE ME, WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE PATIENTCopy !req
358. WHO WAS IN THIS BED YESTERDAY.Copy !req
359. - OH, NO, NO, NO.Copy !req
360. YOU'RE THINKING
OF ESTELLE THE JANITOR.Copy !req
361. THIS BE HER NAPPING BED.Copy !req
362. GREAT VOICE,
BUT A LAZY BAG OF BONES.Copy !req
363. - SHE FOOLED MY HEART WITH SONG.Copy !req
364. SHE CAN'T BE A JANITOR.Copy !req
365. WHAT?Copy !req
366. AH, NUTS.Copy !req
367. - SO YOU PLAYED
ON OUR BETTER INSTINCTSCopy !req
368. AND MANIPULATED US
INTO DOING YOUR WORK FOR YOU?Copy !req
369. THAT IS SO—
- IMPRESSIVE.Copy !req
370. I THINK I LIKE HER
EVER MORE NOW.Copy !req
371. - OUR HATS ARE OFF TO YOU,
YOU CRAFTY OLD BAG.Copy !req
372. - THANK YOU, GIRLS.Copy !req
373. OH, SNAP, IT'S THAT DAMN PROCESS
SERVER AGAIN.Copy !req
374. WAIT, THIS AIN'T MY UMBRELLA.Copy !req
375. - RUFF, RUFF.Copy !req
376. RUFF.Copy !req
377. - OH, CANINE, YOU PLEASE ME
IN A WAY RUFFLES NEVER COULD.Copy !req
378. - MISSUS,
GUESS WHO YOUR SON DROPPED OFFCopy !req
379. WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A HELLO,
YOUR DOG RUFFLES.Copy !req
380. HE'S COMING RIGHT UP.Copy !req
381. - QUICK, CANINE,
INTO THE CLOSET!Copy !req
382. IF RUFFLES SPOTS YOU HERE,
YOU'LL BE TORN TO PIECES.Copy !req
383. HE'S TERRIBLY JEALOUS.Copy !req
384. - EH, RUFFLES.Copy !req
385. - HOLY CRAP!Copy !req
386. - RUFFLES, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
387. HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.Copy !req
388. AND HE HAS HORRIBLE DOG BREATH.Copy !req
389. - HEY, I BEGGED YOU
FOR A MILK-BONE.Copy !req
390. OW!Copy !req
391. - RUFFLES, I KNEW YOU LOVED ME.Copy !req
392. I'M OKAY.Copy !req
393. I LANDED ON A MOP HANDLE.Copy !req
394. - I SAY WE TORTURE HIM.Copy !req
395. - I SAY WE SHOOT HIM.Copy !req
396. - I SAY WE WATCH ROAD TRIP.Copy !req
397. - OH, THAT'S ALWAYS
YOUR SUGGESTION, DJ QUALLS.Copy !req
398. - THEY'RE ALL EQUALLY CRUEL,Copy !req
399. BUT I GOT TO SIDE
WITH DJ QUALLS.Copy !req
400. - WELL, WHATEVER WE DO, WE'VE
GOT TO DO IT BEFORE MIDNIGHT.Copy !req
401. THAT'S WHEN MY UNCLE GETS UP
TO COUNT THE CORN KERNELS.Copy !req
402. - IT'S MY AGENT.Copy !req
403. I BET I BOOKED
CELEBRITY APPRENTICE.Copy !req
404. YEE-HAW!Copy !req
405. - OOH, MY UNCLE'S
GOING TO BE PISSED.Copy !req
406. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET.
THAT'S ENOUGH WARRIN' FOR TODAY.Copy !req
407. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?Copy !req
408. YOU CAN'T LEAVE AN INNOCENT MAN
IN A BURNING BUILDING.Copy !req
409. - CLEARLY, YOU DIDN'T READ
OUR MISSION STATEMENT.Copy !req
410. - I'M GONNA DIE.
THIS IS VERY BAD.Copy !req
411. AH, MAYBE NOT SO BAD.Copy !req
412. AH, STUPID PHONE.
RIGHT IN THE FACE.Copy !req
413. OF ALL THE LUCK.Copy !req
414. OH, A PHONE.Copy !req
415. AH, THIS IS THE WORST PHONE
I'VE EVER TASTED.Copy !req
416. - WORK IT, GIRL.
LOOKING GOOD, AGNES.Copy !req
417. - HEY, WHO'S THE JOKERCopy !req
418. THAT PUT THE BATTERY BACK
IN THE SMOKE DETECTOR?Copy !req
419. - NO, WAIT, I THINK THAT'S
THE NOISE WHEN WE HAVE A FIRE.Copy !req
420. LET'S GO!Copy !req
421. OH, YOU'RE NOT COMING, JACKIE.Copy !req
422. - I'M COMING
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.Copy !req
423. I GAVE UP A WHOLE AFTERNOON
TO TRAIN FOR THIS.Copy !req
424. - FAIR ENOUGH, BUT THIS MEANS
YOU'RE BACK IN THE CALENDAR.Copy !req
425. AGNES, YOU'RE OUT!Copy !req
426. - APPLESAUCE.Copy !req
427. CAN'T EAT ANY MORE
WITHOUT BUTTER AND SODA.Copy !req
428. - WOW, SO THAT'S WHAT
A REAL FIRE LOOKS LIKE.Copy !req
429. BIGGER THAN I EXPECTED.
HOT TOO.Copy !req
430. - COME ON.
WE HAVE TO GET IN THERE.Copy !req
431. - WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING,
JACK.Copy !req
432. WE'RE PROFESSIONAL AMATEURS.Copy !req
433. LET US MOURN OUR FAVORITE
HYDRANT HOTTIE, GLENN MARTIN.Copy !req
434. - WHAT?
GLENN'S IN THERE?Copy !req
435. - LET'S REMEMBER HIM AS HE WAS,Copy !req
436. NOT AS THE PILE OF ASH
WE'LL SOON BE SHOP-VACING.Copy !req
437. - HELP!Copy !req
438. I'M STARTING TO GET FULL!Copy !req
439. - ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
ANY VOLUNTEER FIREMENCopy !req
440. WANT TO VOLUNTEER
TO PUT OUT THIS FIRE?Copy !req
441. - DON'T LOOK AT ME.Copy !req
442. - SERIOUSLY?Copy !req
443. UNBELIEVABLE.Copy !req
444. GLENN!Copy !req
445. - JACKIE, YOU BROUGHT A HOSE.
THANK GOD.Copy !req
446. I'M SO THIRSTY.Copy !req
447. JACKIE,
I'M SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOU.Copy !req
448. - THAT'S OKAY, HONEY.Copy !req
449. HOW MUCH POPCORN DID YOU EAT?Copy !req
450. - IT'S GONNA BLOW!Copy !req
451. - THERE SHE IS!
SHE MADE IT!Copy !req
452. - I DID IT!Copy !req
453. - THIS PAINTING COMMEMORATESCopy !req
454. THE GREAT SWEETWATER
POPCORN FIRE,Copy !req
455. WHERE A FIREFIGHTER
SAVED THE LIFECopy !req
456. OF AN ACCUSED LIZARD MAN.Copy !req
457. THIS SELFLESS ACT
IS THE EMBODIMENTCopy !req
458. OF TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERISM.Copy !req
459. - IMPRESSIVE JOB, MARTIN.
- THANKS, DUKE, BUT I'M NO HERO.Copy !req
460. - COME, LIEUTENANT QUALLS.Copy !req
461. WE'VE GOT TO KEEP OUR EYES OPEN
FOR LIZARD MEN.Copy !req
462. QUALLS?
QUALLS, WHERE ARE YOU?Copy !req
463. - OH, MY GOD.
IT'S A LIZARD MAN! RUN!Copy !req
464. - OUT OF MY WAY, KIDS.Copy !req