Glenn Martin, DDS 2x11

1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN, FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,

2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER AND DENTIST.

3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.

4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

5. SO IT'S ME, MY WIFE, JACKIE—

6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST— OH!

7. OUR SON, CONOR; HE'S UNIQUE,

8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—

9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING FOR HER ONE DAY.

10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY ALREADY IS.

11. AND THERE'S CANINE.

12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.

13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?

14. - SEE, GIRLS, I TOLD YOU THE OPERA WOULD BE FUN.

15. - YOU WERE RIGHT, MRS. MARTIN.

16. YOUR MOM NEVER PLANS FAMILY NIGHT AGAIN.

17. - AGREED.

18. SUCK IT, MUSEUM OF TOLERANCE.

19. - HEY, DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TURN WENDY ON

20. IF SHE SAW ME CRY AT THE OPERA?

21. - SURE, GIRLS LOVE THAT.

22. - YUCK, BLOOD. GROSS.

23. - WHOO! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

24. - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

25. THE COUNTESS JUST FOUND OUT SHE HAS PEASANT LUNG.

26. - THE MOLARS ARE GOING TO THE MINI LEAGUE WORLD SERIES!

27. I HEARD IT ON THIS TRANSISTOR RADIO.

28. - DR. MARTIN, THAT'S AN IPOD.

29. - WE GOT THREE WEEKS TO GET TO DILLSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA.

30. - AND THAT PODCAST IS THREE WEEKS OLD.

31. - YIKES. WE GOT TO GET A MOVE ON.

32. HEY, FAT LADY, WRAP IT UP!

33. - OW! OOH!

34. I'M TURNING WENDY OFF AGAIN.

35. - WOW, THE MOLARS,

36. THE TEAM I SPONSORED FOR YEARS, MAKES IT TO THE BIG GAME

37. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER I STOPPED COACHING THEM.

38. TALK ABOUT YOUR COINKYDINKS.

39. AW.

40. - GLENN, WOULD YOU PLEASE—

41. I'M TRYING TO GET THIS PLACE PRESENTABLE.

42. ALL OUR OLD NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA BE THERE,

43. LOOKING DOWN ON US MORE THAN NORMAL.

44. DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO?

45. WHEN CONOR WAS ON THE MOLARS,

46. IT WASN'T EXACTLY GREAT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

47. - HEADS UP, CONOR.

48. - CONOR! CONOR!

49. - WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS YELLING AT ME?

50. - OW!

51. YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME!

52. - UGH.

53. - EVEN THE WORD "BASEBALL" FREAKS HIM OUT.

54. CONOR! BASEBALL!

55. - BUT IT'S SUCH A GREAT SPORT.

56. I WISH I COULD GET CONOR TO LOVE BASEBALL.

57. - IT'S MORE THAN JUST A GAME.

58. IT BUILDS CHARACTER,

59. EVEN IF HE DOESN'T PLAY.

60. AT LEAST I COULD SHOW HIM WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT IT,

61. JUST LIKE MY FATHER SHOWED ME.

62. - DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

63. YOU CAN'T FORCE HIM TO LOVE SOMETHING HE DOESN'T.

64. WHAT?

65. TOO MUCH?

66. - OW! THAT HURTS.

67. I THOUGHT YOU SAID ORIENTAL BAREFOOT SHIATSU

68. WAS YOUR SPECIALTY.

69. - NO, YOU ASSUMED THAT,

70. AND I CHOSE NOT TO BE HORRIBLY OFFENDED.

71. - JUST CHECK MY EMAIL

72. AND THEN ASK JEEVES HOW TO NOT SUCK AT MASSAGE.

73. - YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM—OH, KATIE.

74. - KATIE? MY OLD ASSISTANT?

75. WHAT DOES THAT LOSER WANT?

76. - SHE'S GONNA BE AT THE BASEBALL GAME.

77. - EH, SHE PROBABLY JUST WANTS HER INHALER BACK.

78. - OR MAYBE SHE WANTS HER OLD JOB BACK.

79. BUT YOU'RE HAPPY WITH THE WORK I'M DOING, RIGHT?

80. - LET'S JUST SAY MAYBE YOU SHOULD STAY ON YOUR TOES.

81. - NOT A JOKE.

82. - DAD, DO WE REALLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS?

83. THERE'S A WHOLE FIELD OF DANDELIONS

84. YEARNING TO BE PICKED.

85. - COME ON, CONOR.

86. GIVE BASEBALL A CHANCE.

87. AH, THE SMELL OF THE GRASS,

88. THE TWEENAGE PLAYERS ON THEIR CELL PHONES,

89. LEANING ON THEIR HIGH-END GERMAN SPORTS SEDANS—

90. WHAT?

91. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT BASEBALL'S ALL ABOUT.

92. IF I WAS DRINKING A SODA, I'D DO A SPIT TAKE.

93. - THAT'LL BE $6.

94. - $6?

95. - $6?

96. - JACKIE MARTIN.

97. - DON'T WORRY. IT'S ON US.

98. - OH, ARLENE STEIN AND PRISCILLA RIFKIN.

99. THANKS, BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE MONEY.

100. I WAS JUST— - YES, WE KNOW.

101. A SMALL CUP OF SODA IS VERY EXPENSIVE.

102. - CAN WE MAKE IT A MEDIUM?

103. SHE LIVES IN A VAN.

104. - IT'S NOT A VAN.

105. IT HAPPENS TO BE A VERY CLASSY R.V.

106. WITH A TOOTHBRUSH ON TOP.

107. - IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN HELP YOU WITH, DOLL?

108. BLANKETS, DIAPERS, VACCINATIONS FOR YOUR KIDS?

109. - YOU SHOULD REALLY SEE THIS R.V.

110. WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER TOMORROW FOR TEA?

111. EXPENSIVE TEA.

112. - SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

113. SHOULD WE BRING OUR OWN TEACUPS,

114. OR DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH JELLY JARS FOR EVERYONE?

115. - KATIE, BEFORE YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF,

116. I'M HAPPY WITH MY ASSISTANT.

117. SHE'S A WHIZ AT PORTFOLIO ALLOCATION.

118. - AND I KNOW THE RIGHT NUMBER OF MARSHMALLOWS

119. TO PUT IN HER COCOA BEFORE NAPPY-NAP.

120. - COURTNEY, I DIDN'T COME TO BEG FOR MY JOB BACK.

121. I JUST WANTED TO RUB MY SUCCESS IN YOUR FACE.

122. I'M C.E.O. OF KATER-ADE.

123. - YOU'RE THE KATIE FROM KATER-ADE?

124. - HOPE IT'S SWEET ENOUGH.

125. DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

126. - YOU'VE BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME?

127. - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

128. BUT I FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER.

129. - AIN'T THEY SOME-SIDDLY-SOMETHING?

130. - HOSS WILLICKER?

131. - ONE GAME AWAY FROM BEING WORLD CHAMPS.

132. REAL CINDERELLA SCENARIO.

133. JUST A YEAR AGO, THEY WERE IN LAST PLACE,

134. MANAGED BY SOME PUTZ DENTIST.

135. - DAD, THAT'S YOU! YOU'RE FAMOUS.

136. - THAT'S RIGHT, SON.

137. SO WHAT'S THE BEST BOOSTER IN TEXAS FOOTBALL DOING HERE?

138. - WELL, I'M A BOOSTER, MARTY.

139. NOTHING COULD KEEP ME AWAY FROM A BALL FIELD.

140. MARTY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR MORE SUCCESSFUL SUCCESSOR.

141. THIS HERE IS COACH VANCE VIVIAN.

142. COACH, TELL 'EM HOW THE TEAM IS DOING.

143. - GOOD. SLICK. PROFESSIONAL.

144. - WHERE'D THEY GET ALL THE FANCY STUFF?

145. - GIFTS. ENDORSEMENTS. CORPORATE.

146. - ENDORSEMENTS?

147. COOL!

148. WOW, DIAMOND ENCRUSTED.

149. - THIS STUFF DOESN'T BUILD CHARACTER.

150. YOU BUILD IT BY RUNNING LAPS, DOING SIT-UPS,

151. AND SHAGGING FLIES.

152. WATCH THIS, CONOR.

153. CENTER FIELD, LOOK ALIVE!

154. - OOF!

155. - OH, GOD. HE DOESN'T LOOK ALIVE.

156. NOW, KIDS, THERE'S NO NEED TO GET UPSET.

157. THE PARAMEDICS DIDN'T SAY COMA.

158. THEY SAID HE'S GONNA COMA OUT OF IT REAL SOON.

159. - OUT OF WHAT?

160. - HIS COMA.

161. - WHAT? - OH, NO.

162. - HOW'RE WE GONNA WIN WITHOUT COACH VANCE?

163. - ALL RIGHT, NO ONE PANIC.

164. OLD HOSS'LL GET YOU A FINE, UPSTANDING COACH.

165. LENNY DYKSTRA OWES ME A HUNK OF CHANGE.

166. - IF YOU COACH THEM, THEY WILL WIN.

167. - ANYONE ELSE JUST HEAR A MYSTICAL VOICE—

168. YOU KNOW, THE KIND FROM A BASEBALL FILM

169. OR A SLASHER MOVIE?

170. - ONLY YOU CAN HEAR ME.

171. HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A BASEBALL FILM OR A SLASHER MOVIE?

172. - HM.

173. LOOK NO FURTHER, MOLARS.

174. IF I COACH YOU, YOU WILL WIN.

175. - WELL, ALL RIGHT, MARTY!

176. FIND A NEW PLAYER TO REPLACE COACH VANCE'S SON.

177. THEY'LL BE SHARING AN ESOPHAGUS FOR A WHILE.

178. - IF YOU ASK CONOR, HE WILL PLAY.

179. - SNEE!

180. THIS AIN'T GONNA BE EASY.

181. - JINX. BUY ME A COKE.

182. - PRETTY GOOD COTTON CANDY, HUH?

183. OH, GO AHEAD.

184. NOW TRY IT WITH THE RASPBERRY SNOW CONE SYRUP.

185. - I APPRECIATE THE HARD SELL,

186. BUT I STILL WON'T PLAY.

187. I HATE BASEBALL.

188. - OKAY, I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THIS

189. BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MANIPULATIVE,

190. BUT I'M DYING.

191. - WHAT?

192. - TO GET YOU ON THE TEAM!

193. IF WE DON'T GET ANOTHER PLAYER FROM OUR HOMETOWN,

194. WE'LL HAVE TO FORFEIT.

195. - STILL NOT DOING IT.

196. - CONOR, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD EXPERIENCE

197. WITH BASEBALL IN THE PAST,

198. BUT I PROMISE THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT.

199. - BUT, DAD—

200. - SON, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME ON THIS.

201. PART OF MY JOB AS YOUR DAD IS TO PUSH YOU TO DO THINGS

202. THAT I KNOW YOU'LL ENJOY.

203. - OKAY, DAD.

204. I'LL PLAY.

205. YOU DON'T NEED TO GIVE ME MORE SUGAR.

206. - NO, NO. THIS ONE'S FOR ME.

207. BASEBALL IS ABOUT CAMARADERIE.

208. NO ONE OUT THERE IS COUNTING RUNS,

209. BUT EVERYONE IS COUNTING FUNS.

210. WHAT'S THAT INCREDIBLY INTIMIDATING NOISE?

211. - THAT'S THE SOUND

212. OF OUR HEAVILY FAVORED COMMIE COMPETITION,

213. NORTH KOREA.

214. - NORTH KOREA?

215. I WONDER IF—

216. - IF CHO HERE TO FINISH SENTENCE FOR YOU?

217. BECAUSE I IS.

218. HELLO, GLENN MARTIN.

219. AND LOOK HOW BIG BABY ARM HAS GROWN!

220. I JUST KIDDING.

221. THIS BABY ARM.

222. INTIMIDATING KOREANS, INTIMIDATE!

223. - YIKES!

224. MAGICAL VOICE OF BASEBALL,

225. WE'RE GONNA GET CREAMED OUT THERE.

226. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

227. - I TRUST YOU'LL FIND THE RIGHT PATH.

228. - I KNOW. PRAISE AND HUGS.

229. - NOT THAT ONE, GLENN,

230. AND NOT FUN-DEMENTALS.

231. - ALL RIGHT, MOVE IT, LOSERS.

232. MOVE IT!

233. - TOMORROW WE PLAY THE AXIS OF EVIL.

234. I HAVE ONLY 24 HOURS TO TURN THIS COLLECTION

235. OF PROFESSIONAL GRADE ATHLETES INTO A RAGTAG TEAM OF MISFITS.

236. FROM NOW ON, YOUR NAME IS PUDGE, WHEELS, MUSHROOM CLOUD.

237. YOU LOOK SICKLY, SO YOU'LL BE LUPUS.

238. AND YOU'RE TANNER

239. FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN IT'S YOUR LAST NAME.

240. - CAN WE CUT THIS SHORT?

241. I GOT A MEET AND GREET AT BABY GAP.

242. THEY'RE PAYING ME A GRAND TO SIGN ONESIES.

243. - OH, NO.

244. YOU GUYS ARE TOO DISTRACTED BY OUTSIDE PERKS,

245. SO ALL YOUR FREEBIES ARE GOING RIGHT INTO

246. THIS ADORABLE TRASH CAN WITH PUDGE'S FACE ON IT.

247. - NO FAIR. - COME ON, MAN.

248. - DO I REALLY HAVE LUPUS?

249. - TANNER, I HAVE NO REASON TO THINK YOU DIDN'T BUY THOSE.

250. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, MARTY.

251. IT'S TRADITION FOR AMATEUR ATHLETES TO GET PAID

252. WITH GIFTS AND MONEY.

253. LET'S NOT UPSET THE APPLECART,

254. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S HOLDING SO MANY APPLE PRODUCTS.

255. - ALL RIGHT!

256. - CONOR, I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU.

257. YOU KIDS WILL THANK ME ONE DAY.

258. - YOUR DAD SUCKS.

259. - YEAH, I DIDN'T SHAVE TEN YEARS OFF MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE

260. FOR THIS.

261. - UGH, "I HOPE IT'S SWEET ENOUGH."

262. SHE OWES ME!

263. SHE ONLY HAS THAT LISP BECAUSE I THREW A STAPLER AT HER.

264. - I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS,

265. BUT KATER-ADE MADE $12 MILLION LAST YEAR.

266. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

267. - YES.

268. IT WAS $112 MILLION.

269. - UGH.

270. beep! beep!

271. - SO, GIRLS, WANT TO SEE THE SECRET OF MY SUCCESS?

272. - THURE! SORRY.

273. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING WONDERFULLY CHARMING

274. ABOUT A LISP.

275. - GET IN.

276. GET OUT.

277. IT'S THE PATENT KATER-ADE DISTILLATION PROCESS.

278. I TAKE THE DISCARDED KATER-ADE, AND PRESTO!

279. ding!

280. - SO THAT CONTRAPTION FILTERS OUT THE BACKWASH,

281. CIGARETTE BUTTS, AND LOOGIES?

282. - NOT AT ALL.

283. I JUST LIKE THINGS THAT SPIN AROUND.

284. OOH, I GOT TO PUT A CUP UNDER THAT DOG.

285. - WOW, SHE'S A GENIUS.

286. - PLEASE, SHE TRASH DIVES FOR BACKWASH.

287. - WHY DID I EVER LET HER GO?

288. - WELL, IT'S NOT A TOTAL LOSS.

289. I MEAN, YOU DID GET ME.

290. - SO WE AGREE.

291. IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU,

292. I'D BE MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL.

293. - UGH.

294. - WHAT? I'M AGREEING WITH YOU.

295. - AH, COME ON, CONOR.

296. IT'S EASY.

297. BUTT UP. CHIN UP.

298. KNEES BENT. ELBOWS UP.

299. AND SWING.

300. - UNGH!

301. - UGH.

302. - IMPORTED TEA, LACE DOILIES, NON-GENERIC GIN.

303. I'LL SHOW THOSE SNOBS THAT I CAN BE JUST AS SNOBBY AS THEY ARE.

304. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE ON WHEELS?

305. - YOU GOT COACH.

306. - WHERE'S THE R.V.?

307. - AH, YOU NOTICED.

308. I TEMPORARILY TRADED IT FOR A PRISON BUS.

309. NEED TO KEEP THE TEAM UNDER ONE ROOF,

310. AND THE R.V. HAS TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS.

311. - GLENN!

312. COME ON!

313. - OH, JACQUELINE, YOU'VE REALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

314. - OH, THIS ISN'T MY R.V.

315. THIS PRISON BUS IS JUST SO MY HUSBAND

316. CAN WATCH TEENAGE BOYS SLEEP.

317. - OH, HONEY, WE'RE NOT SURPRISED.

318. - YOU POOR SOUL WHO'S POOR.

319. - I'M NOT POOR. - YOU NEED OUR HELP.

320. - I'M NOT POOR.

321. - YOU NEED TO BE TREATED TO A DAY OF PAMPERING

322. AT A FIVE-STAR HOTEL.

323. - I'M SO POOR!

324. WATCH THE LEFT FOOT, DEAR.

325. THERE'S WEBBING.

326. - BUT, GUYS, IT'S AFTER CURFEW.

327. MY DAD SAYS WE HAVE TO BE IN BED.

328. - WE'RE DONE LISTENING TO THAT JERK.

329. WE'RE GONNA GET BACK OUR PERKS.

330. - SHOOT.

331. I AM POWERLESS AGAINST THE LOGIC

332. OF SOMETHING THAT ALMOST RHYMES.

333. - WHAT'S THE PASSWORD?

334. - LUCKY LINDY LIKES LICORICE.

335. - WELCOME, Y'ALL, TO THE AFTER-CURFEW SPEAKEASY.

336. KEYS IS BLIND AND DEAF FOR YOUR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR CONVENIENCES.

337. - WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

338. - HERE'S THE THING, MUSHROOM CLOUD,

339. THERE'S SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO MAKE US A PRETTY SWEET OFFER.

340. - HELLO, MOLARS.

341. FUNNY MEETING YOU HERE

342. WHILE I HOLD STEREOTYPICAL BAG OF BRIBERY MONEY.

343. HOW YOU DISGRUNTLED KIDS FEEL ABOUT TAKING A DIVE

344. DURING CHAMPIONSHIP GAME?

345. - ABSOLUTELY. - I'M IN.

346. - WON'T I HAVE TO WEAR MY BATHING SUIT?

347. - OH, SOMEONE PLAYING DUMB TO GET MORE MONEY OUT OF CHO.

348. I UNDERESTIMATE YOUR INTELLIGENCE, CONOR MARTIN.

349. BABY ARM, SHOW HIM WHAT BEHIND SLEEVE NUMBER ONE.

350. - NICE WATCHES!

351. - PERHAPS YOU INTERESTED IN ROCK BAND 3?

352. - WOW!

353. - EH.

354. - GLENN.

355. THE INTEGRITY OF BASEBALL IS IN JEOPARDY.

356. - TO THE GREAT NORTH KOREA,

357. NUCLEAR SUPERPOWER AND HOME TO CHO'S MOMMY AND DADDY!

358. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

359. - WE CAN'T TAKE THIS STUFF.

360. WE HAVE A GAME TO PLAY.

361. - IT'S A RAID!

362. SKEDADDLE!

363. - WHOA! DAD?

364. - I HAD IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY SOMETHING WAS GOING ON HERE.

365. - DAMN GOOD AUTHORITY.

366. - MY OWN SON, OUT AFTER CURFEW

367. AND AT A JUICE JOINT, OF ALL PLACES!

368. - THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU.

369. - YOU REALLY LET ME DOWN.

370. I THOUGHT BASEBALL WOULD BUILD YOUR CHARACTER,

371. BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

372. - BUT, DAD!

373. EH.

374. HEY...

375. - HELLO AGAIN, EVERYBODY.

376. HARRY CARAY HERE,

377. BACK FROM THE DEAD TO BRING YOU A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

378. BETWEEN THE NUKES AND THE MOLARS.

379. ONCE AGAIN, THE CUBS DIDN'T MAKE THE CUT.

380. - CHO WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE IN OR OUT.

381. - I'M NOT TAKING A BRIBE.

382. I'M TRYING MY BEST.

383. - EH, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

384. YOU STINK ANYWAY.

385. A SOLID GOLD CATCHER'S MASK.

386. WHOA!

387. - YOU WELCOME!

388. - THE GUARDIANS OF BASEBALL ARE WATCHING, GLENN.

389. DON'T LET THEM DOWN.

390. - THE GUARDIANS OF BASEBALL?

391. - THE GREATEST PLAYER OF THE PRE-STEROID ERA,

392. PETE ROSE, AND THE MOST VAUNTED BASEBALL FIGURE OF ALL,

393. MORGANNA, THE KISSING BANDIT.

394. - OW.

395. - GLENN, LIGHTEN UP ON CONOR.

396. SO HE BROKE CURFEW.

397. THE WHOLE TEAM DID.

398. YOU'RE NOT PUNISHING THEM.

399. - I HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS FOR CONOR.

400. I'M TEACHING HIM CHARACTER,

401. AND HE HASN'T SHOWN ANY YET.

402. - WELL, WITH THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING,

403. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SHOWING CHARACTER.

404. - HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THE NEW FUR BOOTS?

405. - GOT TO GO!

406. - FIRST UP FOR THE NUKES, KIM JONG WU.

407. FOR YOU FOLKS THAT DON'T SPEAK KOREAN,

408. THAT NAME TRANSLATES TO KENNY JOHN WASSERSTEIN.

409. - OOPS.

410. - WHAT? WHEELS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

411. COME ON!

412. - WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND?

413. - WHY DID HE SWING AT THAT?

414. - HE DONE SWUNG, LITTLE LADY,

415. 'CAUSE THE NORTH KOREANS ARE ON THE TAKE.

416. - ON THE TAKE?

417. WHO WOULD DONE BRIBE THEM?

418. - AMERICAN VICTORY IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS.

419. SALES WILL SKYROCKET!

420. - AND SINCE THE AMERICAN TEAM IS ALREADY TAKING A DIVITY DIVE,

421. WE HAD TO DO SOMETHING TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD.

422. - WHOA. BOTH TEAMS ARE TRYING TO LOSE?

423. KATIE, SERVING PEOPLE SPIT IS ONE THING,

424. BUT THIS GAME IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO MY DAD.

425. WHAT IS IN THAT INHALER, ANYWAY?

426. - SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER HAVE...

427. KILLER INSTINCT.

428. - WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?

429. I HAVE TO MAKE A SISSY.

430. - BRING A FUNNEL! I'LL SPLIT THE PROFITS!

431. - YOU KNOW, IF YOU REALLY PITIED ME,

432. YOU'D BUY ME THAT FOAM FINGER.

433. - HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

434. NO ONE GETS ON THIS FIELD.

435. - SAFE!

436. OUT!

437. SAFE!

438. - OW!

439. - UGH.

440. - YEAH!

441. WhOO-HOO!

442. THAT'S THE WAY WE PLAY IT.

443. - I GOT TO GET TO DAD, AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

444. - ONLY IF YOU ADMIT YOU NEED MY HELP.

445. - NEVER! - GOOD ENOUGH.

446. I HAVE A PLAN, BUT IT'LL PUT ME IN HARM'S WAY.

447. THERE'S A CHANCE I COULD SUFFER PERMANENT—

448. - I'M SOLD. LET'S DO IT.

449. - HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

450. - ACH! - COME HERE!

451. - COURTNEY! NOW!

452. OOH!

453. - I, GLENN BILLY MARTIN, DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON.

454. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO LOSE OUT THERE.

455. - THEY ARE TRYING TO LOSE, DAD.

456. THEY'VE ALL TAKEN BRIBES.

457. - BRIBES?

458. OH, SAY IT AIN'T SO, PUDGE

459. AND WHEELS AND GUY WHOSE NAME JUST HAPPENS TO BE TANNER.

460. BASEBALL'S ABOUT LIFE LESSONS AND INTEGRITY—

461. - SAVE THE SPEECH, LOU GEHRIG.

462. BASEBALL'S ABOUT CASHING IN, MAKING COIN,

463. AND GETTING A DEAL ON A USED KARDASHIAN.

464. - YOU AND YOUR SON JUST DON'T GET IT.

465. - WHAT?

466. - CONOR'S THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T TAKE THE CASH.

467. HE'S ACTUALLY OUT THERE TRYING TO WIN.

468. - BUTT OUT, CHIN UP, KNEES BENT, ELBOWS UP.

469. - THAT'S MY BOY.

470. - HYAH!

471. - OW!

472. - THAT'S ALSO MY BOY.

473. - TWO DOWN, BOTTOM OF THE NINTH.

474. NOW BATTING, CONOR MARTIN.

475. - CONOR...

476. - ARE YOU GONNA YELL AT ME AGAIN?

477. - NO, SON.

478. I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T TAKE THE BRIBE.

479. HOW COME?

480. - DAD, THIS IS BASEBALL.

481. - WOW, HERE I AM, TRYING TO TEACH YOU ABOUT CHARACTER,

482. BUT YOU TAUGHT ME.

483. WHATEVER HAPPENS OUT THERE, YOU JUST KNOW I'M PROUD OF YOU.

484. - YOU DISGRACE TO COUNTRY

485. WHICH ALREADY MOST DISGRACED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD,

486. VOTED THREE YEARS RUNNING BY CONDE NAST TRAVELLER.

487. - WHOA, WHOA!

488. HOLD ON, CHO.

489. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO PITCH.

490. - GUESS AGAIN, GLENN MARTIN.

491. BABY ARM MEETS ALL AGE REQUIREMENTS.

492. YES, HE HAS A MEAN SPIT-UP BALL.

493. - UGH.

494. - BABY ARM CHECKS THE SIGN.

495. OH, YOU GOT TO LIKE HIS POISE OUT THERE.

496. - HI-YA!

497. - COME ON, CONOR.

498. - COME ON, CONOR!

499. - DON'T LET ME FALL ASLEEP.

500. - IT'S A HIGH BALL—

501. I'M SORRY— A HIGH FLY BALL.

502. IT COULD GO ALL THE WAY

503. TO SECOND BASE.

504. - RUN, CONOR. RUN!

505. - HOLY COW!

506. - IT'S UP TO US, BABY ARM.

507. - YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

508. - GO, CONOR! RUN!

509. - IT'S A RACE FOR HOME PLATE.

510. - OH, YEAH!

511. - HE IS...

512. SAFE!

513. HOLY COW!

514. MOLARS WIN!

515. MOLARS WIN!

516. - BABY ARM, YOU HAD HIM OUT!

517. WHAT HAPPEN?

518. OH, NO!

519. YOU ON TAKE TOO, BABY ARM?

520. YOU COME OUT OF GLOVE RIGHT NOW!

521. - YOU KNOW, IF KATIE WERE STILL MY ASSISTANT,

522. I MIGHT BE A RICHER PERSON AND A MORE SUCCESSFUL PERSON,

523. BUT WOULD I BE A BETTER PERSON?

524. - SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW.

525. IT'S GONNA DRIVE ME CRAZY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

526. - NOW, JACKIE, JUST BECAUSE WE'RE GIVING YOU

527. THESE HAND-OUTS DOESN'T MAKE US BETTER THAN YOU.

528. - OUR DEGREES FROM BUCKNELL DO THAT.

529. - I KNOW, LADIES.

530. HEY, MY LUXURY R.V.'S BACK.

531. AND MY HUSBAND HAD IT DETAILED.

532. - YOU TOLD US YOU WERE POOR.

533. - YEAH, I'M NOT.

534. THANKS FOR THE FREE JUNK, SUCKERS.

535. - OOH. - UGH.

536. - THERE, NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT.

537. - THANK YOU, MARTINS.

538. YOU HAVE RESTORED THE SANCTITY OF OUR NATIONAL PASTIME.

539. - LOOK, IT'S THE GUARDIAN OF BASEBALL.

540. - AND HIS LITTLE HELPERS.

541. - OUR JOB HERE IS DONE.

542. IT IS TIME FOR US TO GO NOW.

543. - DO YOU THINK WE'LL EVER SEE THEM AGAIN, DAD?

544. - OH, I'M CERTAIN WE WILL.