1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, HOMBRE,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR;
HE'S UNIQUE,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. AND THERE'S CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'LL BE STICKIN' AROUND.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - TAKE THIS IN, KIDS,Copy !req
15. OUR GREATESTCopy !req
16. WARREN HARDING, CHESTER ARTHUR,
GERALD FORD.Copy !req
17. REMEMBER THESE NAMES.Copy !req
18. SOME OF THEM DON'T EVEN
HAVE WIKIPEDIA ENTRIES YET.Copy !req
19. - WELL, THIS IS GREAT AND ALL,Copy !req
20. BUT WE HAVE A LOT OF "NOT THIS"
TO GET TO.Copy !req
21. - DID YOU SAY "NACHOS"?Copy !req
22. I'M HUNGRY.Copy !req
23. LET'S GRAB SOME LUNCH.Copy !req
24. - OH, I'M SORRY, TAKEN.Copy !req
25. TAKEN.Copy !req
26. - JEEZ.Copy !req
27. - GOOD LORD,
I SAID "TAKEN."Copy !req
28. - I COULDN'T DECIDE WHICH FLOWER
MOST REMINDED ME OF YOU,Copy !req
29. SO I GOT THEM ALL.Copy !req
30. - OHHH.Copy !req
31. - AWWW.Copy !req
32. - MMM-MMM.Copy !req
33. - YEAH, I REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE NEWLYWEDS,Copy !req
34. COULDN'T KEEP OUR HANDS
OFF EACH OTHER.Copy !req
35. - ACTUALLY,
WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 15 YEARS.Copy !req
36. - RIGHT, BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
SOMETHING ELSE IS GOING ON HERE.Copy !req
37. ONE OF YOU MUST BE
TERMINALLY ILL.Copy !req
38. - NOPE,
JUST TERMINALLY IN LOVE.Copy !req
39. - OH, US TOO.Copy !req
40. THERE'S THE MOST HANDSOME MAN
IN THE WORLD.Copy !req
41. - WOW,
HE IS PRETTY CUTE.Copy !req
42. - NO, SILLY, YOU.Copy !req
43. SWEETHEART, YOU REMEMBERED
MY SALAD, DIDN'T YOU?Copy !req
44. I REMINDED YOU TWICE.Copy !req
45. - OH, RIGHT, SALAD.Copy !req
46. I'M SORRY.
WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU WANT?Copy !req
47. - SALAD!Copy !req
48. COULD YOU JUST PUT ON
A LITTLE SHOWCopy !req
49. FOR THE OTHER COUPLE?Copy !req
50. - MESSAGE RECEIVED.Copy !req
51. GARCON, YOUR FINEST SALAD
FOR MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER.Copy !req
52. - UGH.Copy !req
53. WHAT?
I SAID SALAD.Copy !req
54. - YOUR SISTER.Copy !req
55. REALLY, YOUR SISTER?Copy !req
56. - FREUDIAN SLIP.Copy !req
57. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, MOM...
AUNT, GRANDMA.Copy !req
58. - SO IT'S OFFICIAL.Copy !req
59. THE ROMANCE IS DEAD.Copy !req
60. WE'RE ROOMMATES,Copy !req
61. ONLY I CAN'T STEAL YOUR
BOYFRIENDS AND EAT YOUR YOGURTS.Copy !req
62. - WHY WOULD YOU SAY
THE ROMANCE IS DEAD?Copy !req
63. - WELL,
JUST THE OTHER DAY...Copy !req
64. THERE'S ROOM FOR TWO IN HERE.Copy !req
65. - YOWZA.Copy !req
66. JUST ONE QUICK STOP.Copy !req
67. - OHH.Copy !req
68. - TO ME, THAT'S INTIMACY.Copy !req
69. - CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE
A LITTLE EFFORT?Copy !req
70. - I MAKE AN EFFORT.Copy !req
71. - GLENN,
YOU'RE WEARING A JUMPSUIT,Copy !req
72. BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO LAZY
TO UNBUCKLE YOUR PANTSCopy !req
73. AFTER DINNER.Copy !req
74. - IT'S NOT A JUMPSUIT.Copy !req
75. IT'S AN ADULT ONESIE.Copy !req
76. OKAY, MAYBE I HAVEN'T MADE
SUCH AN EFFORT LATELY,Copy !req
77. BUT THAT CHANGES RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
78. LET'S SPEND A WEEKEND
AT A ROMANTIC SPOT,Copy !req
79. JUST THE TWO OF US.Copy !req
80. - GLENN,
THAT SOUNDS PERFECT.Copy !req
81. YOU'D PLAN ALL THAT FOR ME?Copy !req
82. - UH,
I THREW OUT THE VAGUE IDEA.Copy !req
83. ISN'T THAT EFFORT ENOUGH?Copy !req
84. - UGH.Copy !req
85. - I'M PICKING UP A "NO" VIBE.Copy !req
86. HI, I'M LOOKING
AT YOUR SPA ONLINE.Copy !req
87. IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE.Copy !req
88. YOU CAN EVEN LEAVE THE SHEETS
FROM THE PREVIOUS COUPLECopy !req
89. IF THAT WILL KNOCK OFF
A FEW BUCKS.Copy !req
90. - OKAY,
I'M GOING TO HANG UP NOW.Copy !req
91. - PLEASE, NO, NO.Copy !req
92. DO YOU KNOW
HOW MANY PLACES I'VE CALLED?Copy !req
93. ONE.Copy !req
94. I STILL HAVE TO DOUBLE
MY OUTPUT.Copy !req
95. UGH, MY WIFE HAS GIVEN ME
THIS IMPOSSIBLE TASK—Copy !req
96. - OH,
YOU'RE HAVING MARITAL PROBLEMS.Copy !req
97. - HOWIE MANDEL HERE.Copy !req
98. I THINK WE'VE GOT
JUST THE PACKAGE YOU NEED.Copy !req
99. - THAT'S WHAT I TELL MY WIFE,
BUT SHE NEVER FINDS IT FUNNY.Copy !req
100. - THIS GUY SOUNDS PERFECT.Copy !req
101. - IT'S SO COOL WE'RE ALL GOING
TO A SPA TOGETHER.Copy !req
102. I'M GONNA GET A $200 SALT SCRUB.Copy !req
103. - AND I'M GONNA WATCH
A $200 SALT SCRUB.Copy !req
104. - AND I'M GONNA GET
A ONE-HOUR SWEDISH MESS-AGE.Copy !req
105. OOH,
I HOPE IT'S ABOUT MEATBALLS.Copy !req
106. - ALL RIGHT, KIDS, PIT STOP.Copy !req
107. - WHY ARE WE PULLING OVER?Copy !req
108. - SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.Copy !req
109. ABORT! ABORT!Copy !req
110. - KIDS,
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.Copy !req
111. YOU TOO, HONK KONG PHOOEY.Copy !req
112. - I'M KOREAN, WHITEY.Copy !req
113. - WHO ARE YOU CALLIN'...
OH, THAT'S MY NAME.Copy !req
114. - GRANDPA?Copy !req
115. IT'S A SETUP.Copy !req
116. RUN!Copy !req
117. OW! OOH! AUGH!Copy !req
118. WHY?Copy !req
119. - I'M SORRY, KIDS,Copy !req
120. BUT THIS WAS
THE KINDEST WAY TO DO IT.Copy !req
121. - MOMMY AND DADDY NEED THIS.Copy !req
122. WE LOVE YOU!Copy !req
123. I NEVER GOT TO READ
MY SWEDISH MESSAGE.Copy !req
124. - THAT WHINY ATTITUDE
STOPS TODAY, CONOR,Copy !req
125. BECAUSE WE'RE GOIN' HUNTIN'.Copy !req
126. WHILE YOUR DADDY'S GETTIN'
HIS NAILS DONE AT THE SPA,Copy !req
127. I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A MAN.Copy !req
128. - HUNTING?Copy !req
129. BECOME A MAN?Copy !req
130. I DON'T WANT TO DO EITHER
OF THOSE THINGS.Copy !req
131. - WE'LL BE THINKING OF YOU
WHILE WE'RE AT GRANDMA'SCopy !req
132. WATCHING FOX NEWS KIDS.Copy !req
133. - NO SUCH LUCKY, GIRLIES.Copy !req
134. GRANDMA'S AT THE CLINIC
UPGRADING HER BOOB JOB.Copy !req
135. MEANTIME,
WE'RE GONNA LIVE OFF THE LAND.Copy !req
136. WELCOME TO CAMP GRANDPA.Copy !req
137. - OH, GLENN,
THIS PLACE IS AMAZING.Copy !req
138. - "WELCOME, LOVERS MARTIN."Copy !req
139. OOH, BRUNCH.Copy !req
140. I CAN DRINK CHAMPAGNE
IN THE MORNINGCopy !req
141. AND NOT BE JUDGED.Copy !req
142. DON'T SAY IT, GLENN.Copy !req
143. - FINE, I WON'T SAY IT,
EVEN THOUGH WE JUST GOT LEIED.Copy !req
144. - GLENN AND JACKIE,
WELCOME TO YOUR FREE VACATION.Copy !req
145. - FREE?Copy !req
146. DID YOU SET US UP
FOR A TIME-SHARECopy !req
147. PIMPED BY HOWIE MANDEL?Copy !req
148. - COME ON, I WOULD NEVER PUT YOU
THROUGH THAT HUMILIATION.Copy !req
149. - MEET THE MARTINS.Copy !req
150. SHE CLAIMS THE FLAME IS GONE,Copy !req
151. BUT DOES HE HAVE THE FIREPOWER
TO RELIGHT IT?Copy !req
152. - I GOT US ON A REALITY SHOW.Copy !req
153. YOU'RE WELCOME.Copy !req
154. - THIS IS NOT
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.Copy !req
155. WHERE'S THE ROMANCE
ON SOME CHEESY GAME SHOW?Copy !req
156. - IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.Copy !req
157. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE
UPLIFTING SHOWS,Copy !req
158. WHERE THEY HELP COUPLES
RECONNECT.Copy !req
159. THEY'VE GOT ACTIVITIES,Copy !req
160. COUNSELING WITH
A PROMINENT MARRIAGE THERAPIST.Copy !req
161. WE CAN INSPIRE MILLIONS
OF VIEWERSCopy !req
162. TO REKINDLE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS,
JACKIE.Copy !req
163. - WELL, I—
I DO ENJOY INSPIRING MILLIONS.Copy !req
164. I'M GONNA TRUST YOU ON THIS.Copy !req
165. - WHAT THE MARTINS
DON'T KNOW IS,Copy !req
166. EVERYONE ELSE AT THIS RESORT ISCopy !req
167. TO BREAK UP THEIR MARRIAGE,
OR AS WE LIKE TO SAY...Copy !req
168. - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PLACE
THIS ROMANTIC?Copy !req
169. ROARING FIRE, BLIND-AND-DEAF MAN
PLAYING PIANO.Copy !req
170. - THE NAME'S "KEYS."Copy !req
171. CAN'T HEAR OR SEE NOTHIN'.Copy !req
172. YOU'VE GOT COMPLETE PRIVACY,Copy !req
173. SO RIP IT UP, LOVERS.Copy !req
174. - MORE FRESHLY SQUEEZED CAVIAR,
MY DEAR?Copy !req
175. - OH, THAT IS FRESH.Copy !req
176. - METHINKS THERE IS
ONE THING FRESHER.Copy !req
177. MMM.Copy !req
178. - OH, GLENN.Copy !req
179. - THAT'S HOW WE DO IT.
- AHH!Copy !req
180. - HEY, HOWIE, PUT 'ER THERE.Copy !req
181. - SORRY, GERMAPHOBIC.Copy !req
182. HONESTLY,
I'M NOT EVEN COMFORTABLECopy !req
183. BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS YOU.Copy !req
184. NOW, LET'S GET YOU HORN DOGS
OUT OF BEDCopy !req
185. AND INTO MARRIAGE COUNSELING.Copy !req
186. - OH, YEAH.Copy !req
187. - OHH.Copy !req
188. KEYS IS STILL BLIND AND DEAF
FOR YOUR PRIVACY AND ENJOYMENT,Copy !req
189. AND KEYS IS PRETTY SURE THERE'S
SOME BABY MAKING GOING ONCopy !req
190. RIGHT ABOUT NOW.Copy !req
191. - THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.Copy !req
192. I'D RATHER BE BACK IN THE ROOM
SQUEEZING THE STURGEON.Copy !req
193. - HERE TO COUNSEL YOU TODAYCopy !req
194. IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S
FOREMOST RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS.Copy !req
195. - OOH, I WONDER IF IT'S DR. PHIL
OR DR. RUTH OR DR. DREW.Copy !req
196. - PLEASE WELCOME
LEGENDARY ROCKER BRET MICHAELS.Copy !req
197. - WHASS-A GOIN' ON?Copy !req
198. - BRET MICHAELS.Copy !req
199. I USED TO HAVE
SUCH A CRUSH ON HIM.Copy !req
200. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
WHO HE IS.Copy !req
201. I LOVE WHAM!Copy !req
202. DO NOT BRING UP
THE MEN'S ROOM THING.Copy !req
203. - BUT HOW'S BRET MICHAELS
A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT?Copy !req
204. - LADY, I GO THROUGH WOMEN
FASTER THAN HAZELNUT COFFEE.Copy !req
205. - COOL.
- EWW.Copy !req
206. - SO, GLENN AND JACKIE,Copy !req
207. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE FOUND
A THORN IN YOUR ROSE.Copy !req
208. - WELL, DR. BRET MICHAELS,Copy !req
209. I JUST WISH GLENN
WOULD BE MORE ROMANTIC.Copy !req
210. - OH, PLEASE.Copy !req
211. HER IDEA OF ROMANCE
IS TOO UNREALISTIC.Copy !req
212. - HEY,
WITH HEAVY ISSUES LIKE THESE,Copy !req
213. YOU GUYS NEED
SOME GROUP THERAPYCopy !req
214. IN A LITTLE SEGMENT WE CALL...Copy !req
215. - OH, THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
REAL THERAPY.Copy !req
216. - OH, IT'S WAY BETTER.Copy !req
217. WE GET A BUZZER.Copy !req
218. buzz!Copy !req
219. HUSBANDS, WHAT'S YOUR IDEA
OF A PERFECT ROMANTIC EVENINGCopy !req
220. WITH YOUR WIFE?Copy !req
221. buzz!Copy !req
222. - PASS.
- OHH.Copy !req
223. buzz!Copy !req
224. - I WOULD DO EVERYTHING MYSELF.Copy !req
225. FIRST,
I WOULD PREPARE A DINNER,Copy !req
226. EACH COURSE INSPIRED
BY A DIFFERENT PHASECopy !req
227. OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.Copy !req
228. - OHHH.Copy !req
229. - TO REPRESENT OUR COURTSHIP,
I'D PREPARE...Copy !req
230. buzz!Copy !req
231. - WHAT IS SOMETHING FLAMING?Copy !req
232. - ROCK ON, ESTEBAN, 400 POINTS.Copy !req
233. GLENN, MINUS 200 FOR HARSHIN'
EVERYONE'S LOVE BUZZ.Copy !req
234. - OH, YOU'RE THE BEST, SWEETIE.Copy !req
235. YOU KNOW, I'D BE JUST AS HAPPY
SITTING IN A TUBCopy !req
236. WATCHING MY HUSBAND DO
THE WORD JUMBLE ON THE TOILET.Copy !req
237. - SEE, JACKIE, INTIMACY.Copy !req
238. - NEXT QUESTION IS FOR GLENN.Copy !req
239. DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR WEDDING?Copy !req
240. buzz!Copy !req
241. YES!
ON THE BOARD, BABY.Copy !req
242. - NOT THE QUESTION,
POINDEXTER.Copy !req
243. WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THE THIRD SONG YOU DANCED TO?Copy !req
244. - OH, COME ON.Copy !req
245. WHO WOULD KNOW THE ANSWER
TO THAT?Copy !req
246. buzz!Copy !req
247. - A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON.Copy !req
248. - MINE WAS AS TIME GOES BY.Copy !req
249. - BITCHIN',
400 POINTS TO THOSE COUPLES.Copy !req
250. - UGH.
- OHH.Copy !req
251. - OHHH.Copy !req
252. - NOW,
YOU'RE AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE.Copy !req
253. - YEAH,
I HAD AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE...Copy !req
254. IN MY DRESSING ROOM
JUST BEFORE THE SHOW.Copy !req
255. KARATE KICK.Copy !req
256. - OH!Copy !req
257. I AM THIS CLOSE
TO CALLING DAVID LEE ROTH.Copy !req
258. - LET'S SEE,
I PUT THIS IN HERE...Copy !req
259. - COME ON, BOY.Copy !req
260. THIS IS EASY.Copy !req
261. THE INSTRUCTIONS
ARE ALSO IN FRENCH.Copy !req
262. IF THE BAGUETTES CAN DO IT,
THEN SO CAN YOU.Copy !req
263. - AND THEN THIS GOES OVER
IN HERE,Copy !req
264. BECAUSE "A" IS...Copy !req
265. AUGH! AHH!Copy !req
266. - I'M MORE OF A MAN THAN HE IS.Copy !req
267. - ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME,
PANTSUIT.Copy !req
268. - SO, GANGA, WHEN I GET THIS
TENT SET UP IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,Copy !req
269. I'LL BE A MAN?Copy !req
270. - NO, YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME KILL
THE MOST VICIOUS BEASTCopy !req
271. THAT EVER ROAMED THESE PARTS.Copy !req
272. - I FIRST LAID EYES ON HIM
TEN YEARS AGO.Copy !req
273. I HEARD TALES
OF A TERRIBLE CREATURECopy !req
274. THAT ROAMED THESE WOODS,Copy !req
275. BUT THEY WERE JUST TALES,
UNTIL...Copy !req
276. DID HE DO THIS TO YOU?Copy !req
277. GOOD NIGHT, SWEET PRINCE.Copy !req
278. OUR LIVES BECAME INTERTWINED
THAT DAY.Copy !req
279. HE DID THIS TO ME,
AND I DID THIS TO HIM.Copy !req
280. FROM THEN ON, HE WAS KNOWN
TWO TOE.Copy !req
281. - UGH, I USED TO SUCK ON THAT
AS A KID.Copy !req
282. - THAT IS THE SCARIEST STORY
EVER TOLD.Copy !req
283. - TWO TOE IS NATURAL-BORN,
FREE-RANGE KILLER.Copy !req
284. - OHH.
- GOBBLE GOBBLE!Copy !req
285. - AHH!
OHHH.Copy !req
286. - STALKING DUMB ANIMALS
IS MORE FUNCopy !req
287. THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.Copy !req
288. - I KNOW IT WAS JUST
A STUPID GAME SHOW,Copy !req
289. BUT THOSE GUYS KNEW EVERYTHING
ABOUT THEIR WIVES.Copy !req
290. HOW COULD YOU THINK
MY FAVORITE FOOD IS SHRIMP?Copy !req
291. I'M DEATHLY ALLERGIC.Copy !req
292. - MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE EVERY TIME
YOU ORDER AT A RESTAURANT,Copy !req
293. YOU ASK, "IS THERE SHRIMP
IN THIS?"Copy !req
294. - I ASK,
BECAUSE IT WOULD KILL ME.Copy !req
295. - AH, WELL, I KNEW IT HAD
SOME SPECIAL IMPORTANCE TO YA.Copy !req
296. - OH, LOOK,
LET'S JUST CUDDLE ON THE BEDCopy !req
297. AND WATCH A ROMANTIC MOVIE,Copy !req
298. SOMETHING WHERE KATHERINE HEIGL
LEARNS TO RELAX.Copy !req
299. - DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE.Copy !req
300. AS LAST-PLACE CONTESTANTS,
YOU LOSE A FEW PRIVILEGES.Copy !req
301. WHOOOA!Copy !req
302. - HAY?Copy !req
303. HEY!Copy !req
304. - SAY GOOD-BYE TO KEYS.Copy !req
305. - WHOA!Copy !req
306. - TIME FOR OUR NEXT CHALLENGE.Copy !req
307. - AS THE MAN
WHO SOLD 25 MILLION RECORDSCopy !req
308. AND WRECKED
JUST AS MANY MARRIAGES,Copy !req
309. I KNOW THAT MUSIC
IS THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.Copy !req
310. HUSBANDS,Copy !req
311. WRITE A ROMANTIC SONG
FOR YOUR WIVES.Copy !req
312. - OKAY, THAT MIGHT BE ASKING
A LITTLE MUCH.Copy !req
313. - OHHH.Copy !req
314. BEAT BOX.Copy !req
315. - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE LOSING.Copy !req
316. - AHH!Copy !req
317. - WELL, WE DID COME HERE
TO GET CLOSER.Copy !req
318. LOOK, JACKIE,Copy !req
319. THAT SONG CHALLENGE
WAS TOTALLY UNREASONABLE.Copy !req
320. - THE OTHER HUSBANDS
HAD NO PROBLEM WITH IT,Copy !req
321. AND BRET MICHAELS SAYS—Copy !req
322. - BRET MICHAELS.Copy !req
323. YOU TALK ABOUT HIM
LIKE HE'S GUNNAR NELSON.Copy !req
324. - I USED TO THINK
THAT ALL HUSBANDSCopy !req
325. TOOK THEIR WIVES FOR GRANTED.Copy !req
326. TURNS OUT IT'S JUST YOU.Copy !req
327. - WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ME
FOR WHO I AM?Copy !req
328. CARLA SEEMS TO LIKE ME.Copy !req
329. - SO I SHOULD BE
MORE LIKE THE GIRLCopy !req
330. WHO WEARS A COWBOY HAT
AND A BIKINI?Copy !req
331. - I DID NOT NOTICE A COWBOY HAT.Copy !req
332. - I'M TAKING A WALK.Copy !req
333. DO YOU UNDERSTAND,Copy !req
334. OR DO I HAVE TO MAKE
THOSE STUPID NOISES?Copy !req
335. WIKKI-WIKKI-WIKKI.Copy !req
336. - PLEASE DO NOT BEAT BOX.Copy !req
337. YOU DON'T HAVE THE STREET CRED.Copy !req
338. OH, HI, HOWIE MANDEL
AND GEORGE MICHAELS.Copy !req
339. - WHAT'S WRONG, GLENN,
TROUBLE IN PARADISE?Copy !req
340. - I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING JACKIE.Copy !req
341. I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
THAT'S REALLY GONNACopy !req
342. SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET,
LIKE COOK A WORLD-CLASS DINNERCopy !req
343. OR WRITE A POEM FROM THE HEART.Copy !req
344. - DUDE, THAT WILL TOTALLY GET
YOU SOME SUCK-FACE TIME.Copy !req
345. - YEAH, ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS GO TO THE GROCERY STORE,Copy !req
346. THE FLORIST,
GOT TO FIND A RECIPE,Copy !req
347. TAKE A COOKING CLASS.Copy !req
348. AWW, WHO AM I KIDDING?Copy !req
349. I'M NEVER GONNA DO ANY OF THAT.Copy !req
350. - HEY,
A PLAYER LIKE YOURSELFCopy !req
351. SHOULDN'T BE SWEATING
ALL THE DETAILS.Copy !req
352. MY CREW COULD DO IT ALL FOR YOU,Copy !req
353. AND YOU COULD TAKE
ALL THE CREDIT.Copy !req
354. - HOWIE MANDEL,
I WILL TAKE THAT DEAL.Copy !req
355. - GLENN,
THAT WASN'T A BUTTON.Copy !req
356. THAT WAS MY DINNER ROLL.Copy !req
357. - WE'LL TAKE CARE
OF ALL THE DETAILS.Copy !req
358. JUST BE AT THE FANTASY SUITE
BY 10:00.Copy !req
359. - I'LL BE THERE.Copy !req
360. - I'VE GOT TO SAY, HOWIE,Copy !req
361. PUTTING GLENN'S HAPPINESS
ABOVE THE SHOW,Copy !req
362. THAT WAS VERY BRET MICHAELS
OF YOU.Copy !req
363. - WHAT IS THIS, YOUR FIRST
REALITY SHOW, GOLDILOCKS?Copy !req
364. WE DON'T SAVE MARRIAGES.Copy !req
365. WE BUST 'EM UP!Copy !req
366. - HMM, TWO TOE SCAT.Copy !req
367. FRESH.Copy !req
368. HE'S CLOSE.Copy !req
369. - HE'S CLOSE?Copy !req
370. - AND HE'S LACKING IRON
IN HIS DIET.Copy !req
371. YOU CAMOUFLAGED YOUR SCENT
WITH TURKEY URINE, SMART.Copy !req
372. - YEAH, TURKEY URINE.Copy !req
373. LET'S GO WITH THAT.Copy !req
374. WHAT THE?Copy !req
375. - OUR CAMPSITE.Copy !req
376. - IT'S TWO TOE.Copy !req
377. HE'S SENDING US A MESSAGE.Copy !req
378. OHH, BABY CAME TO PLAY.Copy !req
379. - CARLA, I HAVE A SECRET MESSAGE
FROM GLENN.Copy !req
380. HE WANTS TO RENDEZVOUS
IN THE FANTASY SUITE,Copy !req
381. BUT DON'T TELL HIS NAGGY WIFE.Copy !req
382. - I'M NOT CARLA.Copy !req
383. I'M HIS NAGGY WIFE.Copy !req
384. - RIGHT,
CARLA'S THE HOT ONE.Copy !req
385. FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT GLENN GETTING SLEAZYCopy !req
386. WITH A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE
IN A COWBOY HAT,Copy !req
387. AND I DON'T MEAN BRET MICHAELS.Copy !req
388. - CARLA?Copy !req
389. NOPE, GLENN IS A LOT OF THINGS,
BUT HE IS NOT A CHEATER.Copy !req
390. - JACKIE, PLEASE DO NOT STORM
INTO THIS ROOMCopy !req
391. IN A JEALOUS RAGE.Copy !req
392. I BEG YOU, WOMAN.Copy !req
393. BE RATIONAL.Copy !req
394. - HEY, JACKIE.Copy !req
395. - GLENN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?Copy !req
396. - JUST WAITING FOR YOU.Copy !req
397. I WENT THROUGH
A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORTCopy !req
398. TO PUT TOGETHERCopy !req
399. CANDLES, ROMANTIC MUSIC.Copy !req
400. HOW ABOUT THIS?Copy !req
401. - I'M ALLERGIC TO SHRIMP.Copy !req
402. - I KNOW THAT.Copy !req
403. THAT'S WHY I MADECopy !req
404. SHRIMP, SHRIMP,
JUMBO SHRIMP.Copy !req
405. - GLENN, THIS IS MORE PATHETICCopy !req
406. THAN THE FINALE
OF ST. ELSEWHERE.Copy !req
407. COME ON,
WHERE'S THE GIRL?Copy !req
408. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
409. - CUE THE GIRL.Copy !req
410. - WHOOA!Copy !req
411. - WHAT THE?Copy !req
412. - SORRY, GLENNIE.Copy !req
413. I COULDN'T HOLD MY BREATH
ANY LONGER.Copy !req
414. MORE SHRIMPS, PLEASE.Copy !req
415. - GLENN... OHH.Copy !req
416. - JACKIE, WAIT.Copy !req
417. - NOW,
THAT'S WHAT I CALL HOT WATER.Copy !req
418. - OHH, YEAH.Copy !req
419. - AHH!
- HEY.Copy !req
420. - YEAH, I GET IT.Copy !req
421. YOU'RE IN LOVE.Copy !req
422. - LOOK OUT.Copy !req
423. - HEY, JACKIE,
I HEARD WHAT GLENN DID.Copy !req
424. - HOW CAN HE GET IN A HOT TUB
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?Copy !req
425. DID I DRIVE HIM TO THIS?Copy !req
426. - YEAH, PROBABLY.Copy !req
427. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
428. I WAS JUST DREAMING
ABOUT THOSE KNOCKERS.Copy !req
429. - BRET,
I KNOW MOST GIRLS MUST SWOONCopy !req
430. OVER THIS KIND OF SWEET TALK,
BUT...Copy !req
431. WHOA.Copy !req
432. - JACKIE, OUTSIDE,
I MAY LOOK HEAVY METAL,Copy !req
433. BUT INSIDE, BABY,
I AM LITE FM.Copy !req
434. WHEN I'M INTO
A SMOKIN'-HOT CHICK LIKE YOU,Copy !req
435. NO EFFORT'S TOO GREAT.Copy !req
436. - KEYS IS BACK,Copy !req
437. AND I CAN TELL SOMEONE'S NAKED
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
438. - LET ME SLIP INTO SOMETHING
MORE COMFORTABLE.Copy !req
439. - OHH.Copy !req
440. - SO EXPLAIN HOW
THIS WORKS AGAIN.Copy !req
441. - IT'S SIMPLE.Copy !req
442. WHEN TWO TOES SEE YOU,
YOU'LL ACTIVE THIS TRIP WIRE,Copy !req
443. WHICH RINGS THIS BELL.Copy !req
444. THEN I RUN AWAY
WHILE TWO TOE EATS YOUR EYES.Copy !req
445. - I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAN.Copy !req
446. - WELL, IF YOU WANT,
HE CAN PULL OUT YOUR TONGUE,Copy !req
447. BUT THAT'S REALLY
BETWEEN YOU AND TWO TOE.Copy !req
448. - TWO TOE?Copy !req
449. - AUUGH.Copy !req
450. I GOT NO QUARREL WITH YOU,
STRANGER.Copy !req
451. AUUGH!Copy !req
452. AUUGH!Copy !req
453. I GUESS THIS IS THE END.Copy !req
454. TWO TOE, IF WE HAD MET
IN ANOTHER LIFE,Copy !req
455. I MIGHT HAVE
CALLED YOU "FRIEND."Copy !req
456. - GOBBLE-GOBBLE.Copy !req
457. - AHHH!Copy !req
458. - I GOT HIM.Copy !req
459. I DID IT, GANGY.Copy !req
460. I'M FINALLY A MAN.Copy !req
461. - GO-BBBLLE.Copy !req
462. - A HOT TUB WITH A TRAP DOOR?Copy !req
463. HOWIE MANDEL,
I AM BEGINNING TO THINKCopy !req
464. YOU DON'T HAVE MY BEST INTERESTS
AT HEART,Copy !req
465. UNLESS THIS IS ALL
A MASSIVE COINCIDENCE,Copy !req
466. IN WHICH CASE,
I APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
467. - GLENN,
I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THIS.Copy !req
468. - HEY, IS THIS LIVE,
OR WAS JACKIE IN A POISON VIDEO?Copy !req
469. - I'M AFRAID YOUR WIFE
IS ABOUT TO TRADE GERMSCopy !req
470. WITH ONE OF ROCK AND ROLL'S
MOST NOTORIOUS LOTHARIOS.Copy !req
471. LOOKS LIKE YOUR MARRIAGE
HAS BEEN... BUSTED UP.Copy !req
472. - HOWIE MANDEL, YOU MIGHT BE
A STAND-UP COMEDIAN,Copy !req
473. BUT YOU'RE NOT A STAND-UP GUY.Copy !req
474. JACKIE, STOP.Copy !req
475. I'M COMING FOR YOU.Copy !req
476. - WILL GLENN FIND JACKIE
IN TIME,Copy !req
477. OR WILL HE BE DEFEATED BY...
MARITAL MAYHEM,Copy !req
478. THE FIRST OBSTACLE
IN ANY MARRIAGECopy !req
479. DEALING WITH THE BATTLE-AX.Copy !req
480. - GO, GLENN.
- GO, GO.Copy !req
481. - WHOA, WHOA.Copy !req
482. HOLY COW.Copy !req
483. WHOA.Copy !req
484. - HE MADE IT THROUGH,
BUT NOW HE'S IN... THE DOGHOUSE.Copy !req
485. - DOWN, BOY.
DOWN, BOY.Copy !req
486. DOWN, BOY.
BAD DOG. BAD DOG.Copy !req
487. AH, STOP IT.
AHH!Copy !req
488. - YOU WANT ME TO JUMP AGAIN,
KICK OVER A SAND CASTLE?Copy !req
489. ANYTHING FOR YOU, BABY.Copy !req
490. - OH, BRET,
THIS IS ALL VERY HOT,Copy !req
491. BUT I AM STILL IN LOVE
WITH MY HUSBAND.Copy !req
492. - GLENN?Copy !req
493. HE'S JUST A BLUE-SWEATERED
WHAM! LOVERCopy !req
494. WHO TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED.Copy !req
495. COME ON, JUST ONE LITTLE KISS
FOR THIS FAMOUS ROCK STAR, BABY.Copy !req
496. - WHOOOA.Copy !req
497. OOH, OOH, OH, OH, OH.Copy !req
498. - WHY SO GLUM, CHUM?Copy !req
499. IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FACINGCopy !req
500. BLUE BALLS.Copy !req
501. - AHH!Copy !req
502. YI!
OHH-OHH-OHHH!Copy !req
503. - COME ON BABY, ONE KISS.Copy !req
504. - BRET, I CAN'T.Copy !req
505. - JACKIE, GLENN CHEATED
WITH A SKANK.Copy !req
506. THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU
TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGECopy !req
507. IS FOR YOU TO CHEAT
WITH A SKANK.Copy !req
508. NOW, LET'S SWAP SPIT UNTIL
WE'RE EQUAL PARTS BRET MICHAELS.Copy !req
509. - EW.Copy !req
510. - COME ON, I GET
A 10 GRAND BONUS IF YOU KISS ME.Copy !req
511. - WHAT?
- FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.Copy !req
512. LET'S TONGUE.Copy !req
513. EW!
ARGH!Copy !req
514. - NO, NO, NO, NO,
NOT THE HAIR EXTENSION.Copy !req
515. - OUT WITH IT.Copy !req
516. - OKAY, OKAY, IT'S ALL FAKE.Copy !req
517. THE COUPLES ARE ACTORS.Copy !req
518. GLENN DIDN'T CHEAT,Copy !req
519. BUT I STILL THINK
YOU'RE TOTALLY DOABLE.Copy !req
520. THAT'S NO LIE.Copy !req
521. - WHOA, WHOA-OH!Copy !req
522. OHH!
AUGH!Copy !req
523. - GLENN.Copy !req
524. - JACKIE,
BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING,Copy !req
525. I KNOW THERE'S NO REASON
TO BE WITH MECopy !req
526. WHEN YOU COULD BE
WITH A GUY SO COOL,Copy !req
527. HE MAKES ASSLESS CHAPS,
SKINTIGHT JEANS,Copy !req
528. AND EYELINER SEEM STRAIGHT,Copy !req
529. BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU FIRST...Copy !req
530. - REALLY, HONEY,
THERE'S NO NEED—Copy !req
531. - IN SONG.Copy !req
532. - WHOA!Copy !req
533. - OHHH.Copy !req
534. - GUYS, SERIOUSLY,Copy !req
535. I GET 30 GRAND
IF YOU LET ME IN ON THIS.Copy !req
536. GLENN, WE DON'T EVEN GOT
TO MAKE EYE CONTACT.Copy !req
537. MMM.Copy !req
538. - ONE MORE TIME, SON.Copy !req
539. TELL ME HOW
YOU SAVED GRANDPA'S LIFECopy !req
540. AND MADE HIM MISERABLE.Copy !req
541. - I KNEW I ONLY HAD ONE SHOT.Copy !req
542. IT WAS KILL
OR POSSIBLY BE SCRATCHED.Copy !req
543. IT SHOULD BE ME YOU'RE EATING.Copy !req
544. - YI!
OHH-OHH-OHHH!Copy !req
545. - WOW,
THAT'S SOME OBSTACLE COURSE.Copy !req
546. - I HAVE TO SAY, YOU DID PUT IN
A LOT OF EFFORT TO GET ME BACK.Copy !req
547. - YES, I DID, AND THE EFFORT
DOESN'T STOP THERE.Copy !req
548. SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE JUMPSUIT.Copy !req
549. - UH, GLENN, YOU DID TAKE
YOUR WALLET OUT, RIGHT?Copy !req
550. - NO, SIR.Copy !req
551. I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT.Copy !req