Glenn Martin, DDS 1x7

1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN, FATHER, DENTIST, LOVER,

2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER AND DENTIST.

3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.

4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

5. SO IT'S ME, MY WIFE, JACKIE—

6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST— OH!

7. OUR SON, CONOR, THE LADIES' MAN,

8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—

9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING FOR HER ONE DAY.

10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY ALREADY IS.

11. OOH, CAN'T FORGET CANINE.

12. HE'S GOT A GIANT... HEART.

13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?

14. - WOW.

15. WHEN YOU DON'T PICK UP YOUR MAIL FOR SIX MONTHS,

16. IT REALLY PILES UP.

17. - MORTGAGE BILL. LATE NOTICE ON MORTGAGE BILL.

18. FINAL NOTICE ON MORTGAGE BILL.

19. OH. EVICTION NOTICE.

20. - GOOD THING THE HOUSE BURNED DOWN.

21. THE JOKE'S ON THEM, EH, PUMPKIN?

22. YEAH, I GOT IT— STILL NOT FUNNY.

23. - WHO ORDERED THE LAME FANNY PACK?

24. - LAME? THIS IS MY NEW BUTT BUDDY.

25. IT'S SO COMFORTABLE, I CAN'T EVEN TELL IT'S ON.

26. I MEAN, IS IT ON? I DON'T KNOW.

27. - 'SUP? - 'SUP?

28. - 'SME? - 'SME.

29. 'SNICE.

30. WE COULD USE A KID LIKE YOU.

31. - CHECK IT OUT, CONOR.

32. THIS THING'S GOT ROOM FOR MY CHAPSTICK,

33. MY MINTS, ALL MY LOTIONS.

34. - WOW, DAD, THAT'S PRETTY— - LOSER.

35. - NASTY COUGH YOU GOT THERE.

36. LOZENGE?

37. - 'SLATER? - 'SNOT GONNA HAPPEN.

38. - HOLD ON. THAT COOL GUY THINKS YOU'RE UNCOOL.

39. THAT MUST MEAN THAT YOU'RE... UNCOOL.

40. - UNCOOL? HOW AM I UNCOOL?

41. AND HOW IS THERE NOT A WET WIPE IN HERE?

42. - AH! OUR CHEESE OF THE MONTH CLUB FROM LAST FEBRUARY.

43. AH! IT MIGHT BE TIME TO CANCEL THAT.

44. - YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN CONOR LOOKED AT ME

45. LIKE I WAS A SUPERHERO.

46. I MEAN, BATMAN HAS A UTILITY BELT.

47. THAT IS NO DIFFERENT FROM A BUTT BUDDY.

48. - IT'S A PHASE.

49. EVERY KID GETS EMBARRASSED BY THEIR PARENTS SOONER OR LATER.

50. - YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?

51. HE ONLY SEES ME AS THE OLD MAN, THE ESTABLISHMENT, WHITEY.

52. MAYBE I SHOULD GET DRUNK WITH HIM.

53. I MEAN, DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD HELP?

54. - I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO IGNORE THAT.

55. - AH, I JUST WISH I COULD SHOW HIM

56. WHAT I WAS LIKE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,

57. WHEN EVERYBODY KNEW HOW COOL I WAS,

58. YOU KNOW, LIKE IN COLLEGE.

59. - HEY, IT'S OUR COLLEGE HOMECOMING THIS WEEKEND.

60. MAYBE WE SHOULD GO.

61. - IF YOU COULD JUST FOCUS ON MY PROBLEM

62. AND NOT THE MAIL FOR ONE SECOND.

63. WAIT, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

64. OH, I JUST LOST IT.

65. NO, WAIT, WAIT. IT JUST CAME BACK TO ME.

66. - UCK, I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO GO TO YOUR OLD COLLEGE.

67. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WENT TO YOUR OLD COLLEGE.

68. - I WENT HERE, YOUNG LADY, BECAUSE MY MOTHER WENT HERE

69. AND BECAUSE I DON'T TEST WELL.

70. BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE KAPPA HOUSE.

71. THOSE WERE THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.

72. OH, ASIDE FROM GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS,

73. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

74. - YEAH, THE OLD STOMPING GROUNDS.

75. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS,

76. BUT I USED TO BE ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM.

77. - REALLY? - YEP.

78. YOUR FATHER WAS THE BEST MASCOT THE SCHOOL EVER HAD.

79. - JUST THE MASCOT?

80. - I WASN'T JUST THE MASCOT.

81. I WAS THE ROOTIN' TOOTIN' COWBOY.

82. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN ME IN ACTION.

83. I'D RIDE MY TRUSTY STEED NAMED LIGHTNING

84. AND FIRE MY SIX-SHOOTER.

85. OH, HOMECOMING WAS THE BEST.

86. AH, THAT'S WHEN WE PLAYED OUR RIVALS,

87. THE RAGIN' RED INDIANS.

88. SOMETIMES I'D EVEN THROW A BLANKET LABELED "SMALL POX"

89. ON HIM.

90. HA! THAT WAS ENTERTAINMENT.

91. - THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVE.

92. - AHH, IT WAS JUST HARMLESS FUN,

93. JUST OUR WAY OF HONORING THE NOBLE SAVAGE MAN.

94. BUT PRETTY COOL, EH, CONOR?

95. - I DON'T KNOW, BUT THAT PLACE LOOKS COOL.

96. DID YOU EVER PARTY THERE?

97. NO, THAT'S THE GAMMA HOUSE.

98. THEY WERE TOO HARDCORE FOR US.

99. - HA! HARDCORE?

100. I HAD FRIENDS WAY MORE HARDCORE THAN THOSE GUYS.

101. YEAH, JUST WAIT TILL YOU MET MY OLD CREW.

102. crash!

103. IN FACT, LET'S DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

104. - AH, THE KAPPA HOUSE.

105. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BRING YOU GIRLS HERE FOR YEARS.

106. - REALLY? - WELL, NOT YOU. YOU I JUST MET.

107. YOU ARE GOING TO SEE EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LIKE BACK IN THE DAY.

108. - WHICH ONE WERE YOU, MOM?

109. THE ONE WHO SMELLS LIKE MOTHBALLS?

110. - OR THE ONE WHO SMELLS LIKE DIRTY DIAPERS?

111. - HI, I HAVE A COMMENT AND A QUESTION.

112. FIRST, I LOVE THE NEW CURTAINS.

113. SECOND, WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE OLD PEOPLE

114. DOING IN MY BELOVED SORORITY HOUSE?

115. - NO, MISSUS.

116. THIS PLACE BEEN TURNED INTO A CONVALESCENT HOME YEARS AGO.

117. - THE KAPPAS ARE GONE? THE WISH FOUNTAIN?

118. THE WISH WALL? THE WISH GARDEN? ALL GONE?

119. - WELL, YOU CAN LOOK AROUND IF YOU LIKE.

120. JUST DON'T GO UNPLUGGING ANYTHING,

121. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE RELATED TO IT.

122. - WHAT DO YOU THINK, CONOR?

123. "MAN TREBLE."

124. WE WERE THE SECOND-BEST A CAPPELLA GROUP ON CAMPUS.

125. - I GUESS IT'S BETTER THAN BEING THE FIRST-BEST.

126. - WELL, YOU HAVE TO PICTURE US BACK IN THE DAY,

127. WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER AND THINNER

128. AND WHEN PETER WASN'T OUT OF THE CLOSET YET.

129. - UH, STILL NOT, GLENN. THANKS A LOT.

130. HERE, HAVE A BUSINESS CAN.

131. - WHOA-OH, WHO IS THAT?

132. - TUCKER WADE.

133. - HE'S A BIG NASTY JERK WHO WAS ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM.

134. - JUST ONCE, I'D LIKE TO MEET HIM ON MY TURF:

135. ONLINE, PLAYING JESTER'S REALM.

136. I'D BEAT HIM SENSELESS WITH MY SCEPTER.

137. - HEY, DAD, YOU KNEW THE FOOTBALL GUYS, RIGHT?

138. CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME?

139. - UM, SURE, IF THAT WOULD IMPRESS YOU.

140. - YEA-AH.

141. - HEY, TUCKER, REMEMBER ME?

142. - LOOK, BUDDY, I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE,

143. THE CAR THAT HIT YOU WAS DRIVEN BY A PRIEST.

144. THAT'S AN ACT OF GOD, AND WE DON'T COVER THAT.

145. - NO, IT'S YOUR OLD PAL, GLENN MARTIN.

146. REMEMBER? GLENN MARTIN.

147. - OH, HEY, BEN.

148. - SON, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY GOOD FRIEND TUCKER WADE.

149. TUCKER, HERE, PLAYED PROFESSIONALLY.

150. - OH-HO. YOU PLAYED IN THE NFL?

151. - NFL EUROPE, SURE.

152. DOESN'T GET ANY BIGGER THAN THAT.

153. BEN, HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT INSURANCE?

154. I'VE BEEN SUED SIX TIMES, AND I STILL DRIVE AN '89 CAMARO.

155. - OH-HO-HO, MAN, IT'S GREAT REMINISCING LIKE THIS.

156. HEY, THE THREE OF US SHOULD GRAB SOME PIZZA TONIGHT.

157. MAYBE YOU COULD SELL ME SOME OVERPRICED INSURANCE.

158. - DAMN RIGHT, I CAN.

159. AND SPEAKING OF CANS...

160. THE SECRET IS THE STEEL PLATE IN MY HEAD,

161. COMPLIMENTS OF MY OLD XFL DAYS.

162. - YOU'RE REALLY COOL.

163. - "HAIROSOL.

164. MAY CAUSE ABDOMINAL CRAMPS AND LIVER DAMAGE."

165. HUH. THEY FORGOT TO MENTION "CONFIDENCE."

166. - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE EXPOSING CONOR TO THAT JERK.

167. DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HE DID TO YOU?

168. - LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS MY SON.

169. - BY PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT.

170. - EXACTLY.

171. LET'S JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

172. - WELL, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KAPPA HOUSE.

173. THE WHOLE SORORITY JUST— - DAD! TUCKER'S HERE.

174. - GOT TO GO.

175. - WHOO-HOO! EVERYBODY CHUG.

176. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

177. - WHOO!

178. - SO YOU PLAYED ARENA FOOTBALL TOO?

179. YEAH, HE'S A REAL WINNER,

180. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT REFLECTS WELL ON ME.

181. - I TELL YA, WHEN YOU GOT A THOUSAND FANS

182. PACKED INTO A CONVERTED HOCKEY ARENA,

183. CHEERING AS YOU CATCH AN INTERCEPTION

184. OFF THE PACKED WALL,

185. WELL, THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL'S ALL ABOUT.

186. - WHOA.

187. - YOU KNOW, GLENN,

188. NOW THAT I GOT YOUR NONREFUNDABLE DEPOSIT CHECK,

189. I GOT TO SAY, I KIND OF DON'T REMEMBER YOU.

190. - YOU DON'T REMEMBER HIM?

191. - SURE, HE DOES, SON. WE WERE TEAMMATES.

192. - WHAT?

193. - WHEN THE TEAM WAS DOWN ON POINTS,

194. I GOT THE CROWD UP ON SPIRIT.

195. I WAS THE ROOTIN' TOOTIN' COWBOY.

196. - OH, YEAH.

197. THE FRUITY TOOTY COWBOY.

198. - UH, HELLO. ROOTIN' TOOTIN' COWBOY.

199. - OH, MAN, I GOT TO SHOW YOU WHAT I USED TO DO TO THIS GUY.

200. PORTA-LUGE!

201. - OH, YEAH, TH-TH-THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

202. DON'T BE NERVOUS, CONOR. I-I-I'M NOT TERRIFIED AT ALL.

203. crash!

204. - PORTA-LUGE! - GOOD TIMES.

205. DOES MY INSURANCE COVER HEPATITIS?

206. - WASN'T THAT FUN, CONOR?

207. OH-HO-HO-HO-HO, THE LAUGHS WE HAD, EH?

208. - BUT WEREN'T THEY KIND OF LAUGHING AT YOU?

209. - OF COURSE THEY WERE,

210. BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE A JOKE WITHOUT THE BUTT OF A JOKE.

211. TODAY IT WAS ME; TOMORROW, IT'LL BE TUCKER'S TURN,

212. IF THERE'S A GOD IN HEAVEN.

213. - SO YOU DIDN'T MIND SWALLOWING THAT URINAL CAKE?

214. - IT'S A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED COMMITTING TO THE JOKE, SON.

215. SEE, THE DOG KNOWS FUNNY.

216. DON'T LET HIM IN THE R.V. TONIGHT.

217. - ALL RIGHT, CONOR, TIME FOR BED.

218. - I'M GONNA GO DREAM OF TUCKER.

219. - GLENN, WHY ARE YOU HIDING THE TRUTH?

220. JUST TELL HIM TUCKER'S A JERK.

221. - JACKIE, MY SON JUST WATCHED ME TUMBLED DOWN A HILL IN A TOILET.

222. I'M LOSING HIS RESPECT,

223. SO FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PROVE I'M—

224. - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING.

225. YOU'RE HIS FATHER, AND HE LOVES YOU NO MATTER—

226. I DIDN'T EVEN PULL IT YET.

227. - NO, I THINK I HAVE AN INFECTION IN MY URETHRA.

228. - TUCKER IS A CREEP.

229. HE USED TO CLIMB A LADDER AND PEEP INTO OUR SORORITY.

230. IS THAT THE KIND OF COOL BEHAVIOR

231. YOU WANT TO EXPOSE YOUR SON TO?

232. - WAIT, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

233. OH, I JUST LOST IT.

234. NO, WAIT, WAIT. IT JUST CAME BACK TO ME.

235. - WHOA, THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME.

236. - YEAH, CAN YOU BELIEVE YOUR OLD MAN USED TO DO THIS?

237. CAN YOU?

238. A LITTLE MORE MATURE

239. THAN THOSE HIGH SCHOOL CHICKS YOU'RE USED TO, HUH?

240. - OH! WHOA!

241. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

242. - NOW I'M BLUE ON THE INSIDE.

243. - I JUST DON'T GET IT.

244. OF ALL THE SORORITIES TO DIE OFF, WHY THE KAPPAS?

245. WE WERE SO EXCLUSIVE, WE NEVER LET ANYONE IN.

246. OH.

247. - WELL, AT LEAST THE KAPPAS WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART.

248. - NO, I'VE ALREADY LOST ONE HOUSE THIS YEAR.

249. I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M LOSING ANOTHER.

250. - WHO PASSED GAS IN HERE?

251. - EVERYONE, MAY I PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

252. ATTENTION!

253. YOU ARE ALL OFFICIALLY PLEDGES OF THE KAPPA SORORITY.

254. HAIL, KAPPA!

255. - UH, MOM— - I SAID, "HAIL, KAPPA"!

256. HAIL, KAPPA!

257. - I AM YOUR NEW PLEDGE MASTER, SISTER JACKIE MARTIN.

258. WHEN I AM DONE WITH YOU,

259. YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO THROW THEMED SLEEPOVER PARTIES,

260. BAKE COOKIES THAT YOU DARE NOT EAT,

261. AND SET FUNNY LYRICS TO POPULAR SONGS.

262. MOST IMPORTANTLY,

263. YOU WILL BE THE ENVY OF EVERY GIRL ON SORORITY ROW.

264. DO YOU HEAR ME?

265. - OH, I'M SORRY, MISSUS.

266. I WAS JUST REPLACING THE BATTERIES

267. IN THEIR HEARING AIDS.

268. I'LL JUST PASS THEM OUT, AND YOU CAN START AGAIN.

269. - OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE I'D LIKE ANOTHER WHACK AT THAT SPEECH.

270. - ALL RIGHT, GO DEEP.

271. - YEAH! TOUCHDOWN!

272. - NO, NO, NO, NO, SON.

273. WE DON'T CATCH THE BALL; WE'RE DEFENSE.

274. WE KNOCK IT OUT OF THE RECEIVER'S HANDS.

275. WATCH.

276. thwack!

277. HA! IN YOUR FACE!

278. I TELL YOU, THERE'S NOTHING MORE REWARDING IN LIFE

279. THAN SPOILING SOMEONE ELSE'S VICTORY.

280. - YOU'RE SO WISE.

281. AND STRONG AND HANDSOME.

282. - I WAS SKEPTICAL,

283. BUT THIS PLACE IS REALLY COMING TOGETHER.

284. - YOU GIRLS AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET.

285. DORA, CUE THE MUSIC.

286. - WHAT? - CUE THE MUSIC.

287. - WHO IS A JEW? - AH, I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

288. - OH, YOU'RE SO CRAZY.

289. PARTY OVER FOR THIS ONE.

290. - WHO'S UP FOR THE BIKINI CAR WASH?

291. - HOW DO I COMPETE WITH A REAL-LIFE CFL PLAYER?

292. THE MAN PLAYED FOR THE MONTREAL ALOUETTES,

293. FOR GOD'S SAKE.

294. - WELL, IF THIS WAS JESTER'S REALM,

295. I'D LEVERAGE ALL MY HEALTH POINTS

296. FOR THE SHINIEST AMULET IN THE ROOM; THEN I WOULD—

297. - AH, SHUT UP, NERD. I'M TRYING TO THINK.

298. - YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN CONOR BACK PLAYING TUCKER'S GAME.

299. YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY YOURS.

300. THE GLENN MARTIN I KNOW IS FUNNY,

301. OPTIMISTIC, FULL OF SPIRIT.

302. THAT'S THE MAN YOUR SON NEEDS TO SEE.

303. - BUT HOW DO I—

304. THAT'S IT!

305. PLEASE, I WAS AT MY GREATEST IN THAT SUIT.

306. I JUST NEED TO WEAR IT ONE MORE TIME.

307. - HOW COULD ANYONE SAY NO?

308. THAT'LL BE 100 BUCKS. - WHAT?

309. FINE.

310. IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT

311. WHEN MY SON SEES ME OPENING A CAN OF MANIFEST DESTINY

312. ON THAT RAGIN' RED INDIAN.

313. - YOU KNOW, THEY HAVEN'T BEEN THE INDIANS FOR YEARS, DUDE.

314. NOW THEIR MASCOT'S "THE RED," A CUTE, FURRY THING.

315. - PLEASE, TELL ME I STILL GET TO RIDE

316. MY TRUSTY STEED, LIGHTNING.

317. - ACTUALLY, HE'S MORE RUSTY THAN TRUSTY,

318. AND AT TIMES, A LITTLE GUSTY.

319. - CHECK IT OUT, CONOR. MARSHMALLOWS.

320. - I'M SO GLAD I GAVE UP THE TUBA.

321. - ISN'T THIS GREAT? WE'RE GOING TO A HOMECOMING.

322. - HUH? I'M GOING HOME?

323. - NO, SUGAR. YOU'LL BE HOME WITH JESUS SOON, THOUGH.

324. - AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR MASCOT,

325. THE ROOTIN' TOOTIN' COWBOY!

326. - HEY, WHO'S READY FOR SOME ROOTIN' TOOTIN' FUN?

327. - DAD?

328. ROOT, ROOT! TOOT, TOOT! COWBOY!

329. - TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.

330. pow!

331. - COOL. A BOYS' MEDIUM.

332. - NOW, WHERE'S MY ARCHENEMY?

333. OH, I SMELL ME A STINKING RED—

334. GOOGLY BALL?

335. YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

336. ROOT, ROOT! TOOT, TOOT! COWBOY!

337. ROOT, ROOT! TOOT, TOOT! COWBOY!

338. - GOOD WORK. THEY'RE EATING THIS UP.

339. OOH, SOMEONE'S SCARED?

340. ROOT, ROOT! TOOT, TOOT! COWBOY!

341. ROOT, ROOT! TOOT, TOOT!

342. - YEAH! THAT'S MY DAD!

343. - HOW 'BOUT SOME OF THIS?

344. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

345. - YOU HIT A GIRL? WHAT A JERK!

346. - I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS A—

347. pow!

348. I'M GONNA STOP HURTING YOU NOW.

349. - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

350. - I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS A GIRL. I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

351. - SHE'S THE ONE THAT GOT CARRIED AWAY...

352. ON A STRETCHER!

353. - I HEARD SHE'S A DELTA, SO SHE'S PROBABLY PREGNANT.

354. - THEY ARE SLUTS.

355. OKAY, I DESERVED THAT.

356. - CONOR, GIVE YOUR DAD A HUG.

357. - UH, I THINK I'M GONNA GO PLAY "NOT CATCH" WITH TUCKER.

358. - THAT WAS A REAL KICK IN THE GUT.

359. OOH! - YOU SUCK!

360. - I'M GLAD I DIDN'T SAY "NUTS."

361. THAT SHOULD BE ME OUT THERE WITH CONOR,

362. NOT SOMEONE HE ADMIRES.

363. - OH, HONEY, CONOR'S GONNA FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM

364. IN A FEW DAYS.

365. HE'S "C" STUDENT; HE'S GOT NO LONG-TERM MEMORY.

366. - LET'S JUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.

367. - OH, I WISH WE COULD DO THAT,

368. BUT IT'S INITIATION NIGHT AT THE SORORITY.

369. TONIGHT, THE KAPPAS RISE FROM THE ASHES,

370. EXCEPT FOR GLADYS.

371. SHE WAS CREMATED THIS MORNING.

372. PLEDGES, WE WILL NOW REVEAL THE RESULTS

373. OF THE SECRET BALLOT.

374. AFTER WHICH, THOSE VOTED IN

375. WILL RECEIVE THEIR KAPPA LETTERS.

376. - HUH? I GOT A LETTER?

377. - NAH, SUGAR. FORGET IT.

378. EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS DEAD.

379. - NOW, REMEMBER, IF YOU'RE NOT VOTED IN,

380. IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOOD.

381. - IT JUST MEANS YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

382. - WHOO-HOO! PANTIE RAID!

383. HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

384. crash!

385. SWEET FREEDOM!

386. HA-HA!

387. crash!

388. - HOO-HOO-HOO! PARTY!

389. - COME ON, LET'S GO INSIDE.

390. - I DON'T KNOW.

391. MY DAD SAID THIS PLACE IS PRETTY HARDCORE.

392. - YOU KNOW, KID, THERE COMES A POINT

393. DO YOU WANT TO GROW UP TO BE SOME LAME DENTIST

394. OR A AWESOME DUDE TO LIVES IN THE PAST

395. AND SELLS LIFE INSURANCE?

396. - I DO LIKE THAT TIED-ON SWEATER.

397. - JEEZ, HOW MANY TOILETS DOES THIS PLACE HAVE?

398. - DORA. 22 VOTES.

399. CONGRATULATIONS.

400. - GRAB YOUR KNEES AND SAY PLEASE.

401. - OOH!

402. HERE, YOU CAN PUT THIS ON THE MANTLE NEXT TO GLADYS.

403. - AND FINALLY, JACKIE MARTIN.

404. ZERO VOTES? - WHAT?

405. THIS WHOLE THING WAS MY IDEA. HOW COULD THAT BE?

406. - YEAH, IT'S JUST THE GIRLS AND I

407. JUST DON'T THINK YOU'RE KAPPA MATERIAL.

408. OF ALL THE SNOBBY, ELITIST, BACKSTABBING...

409. YOU GIRLS REALLY ARE KAPPAS NOW. I'M SO PROUD.

410. GIVE ME A HUG!

411. - YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO.

412. - WONDERFUL!

413. GAUNTLET! GAUNTLET! GAUNTLET! GAUNTLET!

414. - ANYTHING FOR ACCEPTANCE!

415. - WHAT'S THE GAUNTLET? - CHECK IT.

416. HE HEADS DOWN THE STAIR.

417. HE GRABS THE ROPE OVER THE BURNING SOFA.

418. ONTO THE SILLY SLIDE.

419. ALL HE'S GOT TO DO NOW, FOLKS, IS LAND SAFELY

420. IN THE KIDDIE POOL FILLED WITH GOOSE-DOWN PILLOWS.

421. YOU'LL BE FINE! RUB SOME DIRT ON IT!

422. YOUR TURN, CHAMP. - ME?

423. HEY, PUT ME DOWN.

424. NO. YOU GUYS— - DUDE, IT'S FUN.

425. - THANKS, GUYS, BUT NOT EVEN THE SOOTHING SOUNDS

426. OF MAN TREBLE CAN CHEER ME UP TONIGHT.

427. CONOR?

428. - DAD, I THINK I'M IN TROUBLE. - WHERE ARE YOU?

429. - I'M AT THE GAMMA HOUSE, AND THERE'S THIS BIG PARTY,

430. AND TUCKER'S GONNA MAKE ME RUN THE GAUNTLET.

431. - THE GAUNTLET!

432. SON, LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY.

433. YOU HAVE TO HIT THE PILLOW JUST RIGHT.

434. CONOR? CONOR!

435. I HAVE TO SAVE HIM.

436. - THAT PLACE IS DANGEROUS, MARTIN.

437. CALL THE COPS. DON'T BE A HERO.

438. - MAYBE A HERO IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO BE.

439. - GUYS, PLEASE.

440. - AH, YOU WANT TO GO HOME TO YOUR MOMMY

441. AND YOUR OTHER MOMMY?

442. THREE, TWO—

443. crash!

444. - TUCKER WADE, HAND OVER THE BOY.

445. - YOU'RE THE GUY WHO BEATS UP GIRLS.

446. - THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY.

447. FARTIN' MARTIN, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A NERD.

448. - MAYBE I AM A NERD, TUCKER, BUT SINCE COLLEGE,

449. I'VE ALSO BECOME SO MUCH MORE: A HUSBAND, A FATHER, DDS,

450. AND FRIEND TO THE GAY AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY.

451. BUT YOU'RE STILL PLAYING CORNERBACK,

452. KNOCKING DOWN OTHER PEOPLE'S DREAMS,

453. BECAUSE IN YOUR POSITION, YOU DON'T SCORE ANY TOUCHDOWNS.

454. - REALLY? I'M ABOUT TO SCORE AN ASS WHOOPIN'.

455. - NOT IF I SET UP THE BLOCK.

456. - FREE T-SHIRTS!

457. - COME ON, SON!

458. pow!

459. - GREAT SHOOTING, DAD!

460. - WAIT! ROOTIN' TOOTIN' COWBOY!

461. - MUCH APPRECIATED, MA'AM.

462. - I GOT TO SAY, DAD, YOU'RE REALLY COOL.

463. - I GOT TO SAY, SON, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

464. YOU OKAY? - I GUESS.

465. I THINK I GOT A SPLINTER FROM THE RAILING.

466. I'VE GOT JUST THE THING FOR THAT.

467. - WHOA.

468. THAT'S JUST LIKE SOMETHING A SUPERHERO WOULD HAVE.

469. - THAT'S RIGHT, SON. JUST LIKE BATMAN.

470. - HA-HA!

471. THAT'S HOW YOU RIDE THE GAUNTLET!

472. WHOOOA!

473. - LOOK OUT!

474. - I'M OKAY.

475. kaboom!