1.  - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, LOVER, 
			  
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2.  BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST. 
			  
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3.  I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER. 
			  
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4.  WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN. 
			  
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5.  SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE— 
			  
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6.  SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH! 
			  
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7.  OUR SON, CONOR,
THE LADIES' MAN, 
			  
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8.  HIS SISTER, COURTNEY— 
			  
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9.  WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY. 
			  
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10.  IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS. 
			  
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11.  OOH, CAN'T FORGET CANINE. 
			  
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12.  HE'S GOT A GIANT... HEART. 
			  
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13.  WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE? 
			  
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14.  - HA!
EN GARDE! 
			  
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15.  - SO WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT
ABOUT THIS NEANDERTHAL? 
			  
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16.  - A FREAK FIRECRACKER INCIDENT 
			  
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17.  LEFT HIM WITH NO
PERIPHERAL VISION. 
			  
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18.  ATTACK HIM LOW AND OUTSIDE,
AND HE WON'T SEE YOU COMING, 
			  
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19.  LITERALLY. 
			  
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20.  - GO SWEETIE! 
			  
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21.  - STAB HIM IN THE HEART! 
			  
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22.  - OH, HOW CUTE. 
			  
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23.  A LITTLE GIRL WITH A— 
			  
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24.  - MY NAME IS COURTNEY MARTIN. 
			  
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25.  YOU MOCKED ME ONCE. 
			  
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26.  PREPARE TO DIE! 
			  
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27.  - PLEASE, NOT THE FACE. 
			  
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28.  I HAVE PICTURE DAY ON THURSDAY. 
			  
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29.  - THANK YOU.
- GREAT JOB, KIDDO! 
			  
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30.  - AND THE WINNER IS
COURTNEY MARTIN. 
			  
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31.  - THIS WOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE 
			  
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32.  WITHOUT THE HELP 
			  
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33.  MY MOM AND DAD...
- AW. 
			  
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34.  - THE MAN UPSTAIRS... 
			  
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35.  - WHAT'S UP? 
			  
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36.  - BUT MOST OF ALL,
I NEED TO THANK THE PERSON 
			  
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37.  WHOSE CUTTHROAT
TENACITY INSPIRES ME EVERY DAY, 
			  
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38.  MARTHA STEWART. 
			  
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39.  - MARTHA STEWART? 
			  
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40.  - WOW. 
			  
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41.  ARE THERE ANY MORE
LIKE YOU AT HOME? 
			  
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42.  - DEFINITELY NOT. 
			  
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43.  "PARTICIPANT." 
			  
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44.  THEY DON'T GIVE THESE OUT
TO JUST ANYONE. 
			  
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45.  - WHERE SHOULD I PUT THIS? 
			  
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46.  NEXT TO MY SPELLING BEE TROPHY, 
			  
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47.  OR THAT PLAQUE I WON
AT SNIPER SCHOOL? 
			  
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48.  - UGH, THERE'S NO ROOM
ON MY SIDE. 
			  
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49.  CAN'T WE JUST GET RID
OF CONOR'S CRAP? 
			  
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50.  - HEY, I WON THOSE, 
			  
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51.  EXCEPT FOR THE TWO
I BOUGHT AT GARAGE SALES. 
			  
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52.  - HEY, HOLD ON THERE. 
			  
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53.  CONOR'S TROPHIES ARE
JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOURS. 
			  
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54.  - ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SHOW UP
AND PAY THE REGISTRATION FEE. 
			  
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55.  - ACTUALLY, I PAID THAT. 
			  
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56.  - WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING I NEVER
ACTUALLY WON ANYTHING? 
			  
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57.  - OH, SURE YOU'VE WON THINGS, 
			  
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58.  MAYBE NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL 
			  
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59.  FASTEST, STRONGEST,
SMARTEST WAY, 
			  
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60.  BUT WE CONSIDER IT A VICTORY
THAT YOU EVEN TIED YOUR SHOES. 
			  
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61.  - OH, MY GOD. 
			  
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62.  I NEVER WON ANYTHING. 
			  
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63.  I'M A TOTAL LOSER. 
			  
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64.  - OH, CONOR. 
			  
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65.  I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU
THAT FOR YEARS. 
			  
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66.  - SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD WIN NEXT, 
			  
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67.  AN EQUESTRIAN EVENT
OR A BOURBON-MAKING TOURNAMENT? 
			  
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68.  - WHY DON'T YOU ASK
MARTHA STEWART? 
			  
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69.  - EXCELLENT SUGGESTION, 
			  
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70.  BUT WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED
TO MEAN? 
			  
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71.  - YOU COULDN'T THANK ME
IN YOUR SPEECH? 
			  
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72.  - I KNOW YOU HAVE
A THANKLESS JOB. 
			  
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73.  THAT'S WHY I NEVER THANK YOU. 
			  
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74.  - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I COULD USE A BREAK. 
			  
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75.  I'M TAKING A FEW PERSONAL DAYS. 
			  
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76.  - WHAT? 
			  
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77.  WHO'S GOING TO KEEP MY BOOKS,
SCHEDULE MY MEETINGS, 
			  
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78.  TICKLE ME WHEN I GET STRESSED? 
			  
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79.  - NOT MY PROBLEM. 
			  
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80.  I'M ON VACATION. 
			  
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81.  - "THE AWARD FOR SHOWING UP
GOES TO CONOR MARTINEZ." 
			  
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82.  "IT'S CONOR MARTIN." 
			  
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83.  "SHUT UP. 
			  
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84.  YOU'RE JUST A PARTICIPANT." 
			  
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85.  - OH, POOR CONOR. 
			  
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86.  YOU THINK WE CAUSED THIS? 
			  
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87.  ALWAYS CELEBRATING COURTNEY'S
ACHIEVEMENTS, 
			  
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88.  SAYING THINGS LIKE, "YOU'RE SO
MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR BROTHER." 
			  
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89.  - YOU REALLY SAID THAT? 
			  
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90.  - I WAS TRYING TO MAKE
COURTNEY FEEL BETTER. 
			  
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91.  PARENTING IS SUCH
A JUGGLING ACT. 
			  
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92.  - I WISH THERE WAS SOMEWHERE 
			  
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93.  WE COULD TAKE CONOR
TO CHEER HIM UP. 
			  
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94.  SOMETHING THAT COMBINES HIS LOVE
OF PHYSICAL DEFORMITIES 
			  
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95.  AND VIOLENT MISHAPS. 
			  
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96.  NOPE, STILL DRAWING A BLANK. 
			  
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97.  CANINE, WE GET IT.
YOU HAVE TO GO. 
			  
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98.  WE'LL PULL OVER AS SOON
AS THIS COMICALLY LONG LINE 
			  
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99.  OF CIRCUS TRUCKS PASSES BY. 
			  
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100.  HEY. 
			  
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101.  - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 
			  
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102.  WELCOME TO A NIGHT
OF DANGEROUS STUNTS 
			  
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103.  WITH LOW SAFETY STANDARDS! 
			  
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104.  - YES! 
			  
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105.  - WHOO! 
			  
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106.  - OH, AWESOME. 
			  
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107.  - I TOLD YOU THIS WAS
RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY. 
			  
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108.  THEY SAY THIS IS THE ONLY CIRCUS 
			  
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109.  THAT'S EVER BEEN KICKED OUT
OF MEXICO. 
			  
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110.  crunch! 
			  
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111.  thud! 
			  
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112.  OH! 
			  
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113.  - HEH, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,
PEOPLE. 
			  
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114.  ALL PART OF THE SHOW. 
			  
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115.  IS THERE A CORONER IN THE HOUSE? 
			  
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116.  - AH. 
			  
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117.  - IS THERE A DENTIST
IN THE HOUSE? 
			  
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118.  - OH, IT'S GO TIME. 
			  
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119.  WELL, HERE WE GO. 
			  
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120.  EXCELLENT. 
			  
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121.  - GLENN, WE ARE SO BLESSED
TO HAVE YOU HERE TONIGHT. 
			  
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122.  YOU DON'T FILE A REPORT WITH
ANY OFFICIAL AGENCIES, DO YOU? 
			  
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123.  - NOT UNLESS YOU
COUNT THE FUN POLICE. 
			  
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124.  - HEH, YOU'RE A HOOT. 
			  
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125.  WHY DON'T YOU STICK AROUND
AND WORK FOR US A FEW WEEKS? 
			  
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126.  - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL DO IT. 
			  
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127.  I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
IN SHOW BUSINESS. 
			  
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128.  - GOOD CHOICE. 
			  
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129.  I WAS GONNA BREAK YOUR LEGS
IF YOU SAID NO. 
			  
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130.  JUST KIDDING. 
			  
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131.  - BUT I DO HAVE ONE REQUEST. 
			  
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132.  ACTUALLY, I WAS HOPING
MY SON COULD HANG OUT 
			  
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133.  WITH YOUR CIRCUS PEOPLE,
LEARN A SKILL. 
			  
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134.  HE COULD USE A BOOST
TO HIS SELF-ESTEEM. 
			  
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135.  - THAT KID? 
			  
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136.  - OH!
AW. 
			  
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137.  - UH, YEAH, HE'LL FIT RIGHT IN. 
			  
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138.  CONOR, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET THE GANG. 
			  
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139.  NOT AN ACTUAL GANG, 
			  
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140.  ALTHOUGH MOST ARE
FORMER GANG MEMBERS. 
			  
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141.  - HELLO, GANG. 
			  
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142.  - DELIGHTED TO HAVE YOU ABOARD! 
			  
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143.  - SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. 
			  
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144.  HE'S A FREAK. 
			  
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145.  - FOLKS, I WANT YOU
TO TREAT CONOR 
			  
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146.  LIKE A REAL MEMBER
OF THE CIRCUS FAMILY. 
			  
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147.  - YOU MEAN, KIDNAP HIM
FROM HIS PARENTS, 
			  
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148.  STEAL HIS PAYCHECK,
AND BLOW IT ON STRAWBERRY WINE? 
			  
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149.  - HEH, HEH, HE'S JOKING. 
			  
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150.  - WHOA! 
			  
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151.  - CONOR, LET'S SEE
WHAT YOU'VE GOT. 
			  
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152.  - OKAY. 
			  
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153.  OKAY. 
			  
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154.  SORRY. 
			  
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155.  - OH. 
			  
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156.  - OH. 
			  
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157.  - I THINK I HAVE A JOB
MORE SUITED TO YOUR SKILLS. 
			  
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158.  - GROSS. 
			  
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159.  - WHOA! 
			  
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160.  - HEY, STRING BEAN,
MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL. 
			  
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161.  - MM? 
			  
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162.  WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 
			  
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163.  WHOA, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. 
			  
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164.  A LITTLE INAPPROPRIATE,
BUT IMPRESSIVE. 
			  
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165.  - I AM OLGA, CIRCUS STRONG LADY. 
			  
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166.  - NICE BICEPS. 
			  
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167.  I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM SO LARGE 
			  
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168.  ON SOMEONE
WHO APPEARS TO BE A WOMAN. 
			  
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169.  - STICK WITH ME;
THIS COULD BE YOU IN A WEEK. 
			  
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170.  SECRET TO SUCCESS. 
			  
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171.  SPECIAL ENERGY SHAKE. 
			  
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172.  IT IS LOADED WITH "T." 
			  
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173.  - MM, I THOUGHT I DETECTED
A HINT OF CHAMOMILE. 
			  
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174.  MMM, INVIGORATING. 
			  
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175.  - GOOD LORD. 
			  
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176.  - PAPA, IS THAT DOG'S BUTT
PART OF THE FREAK SHOW? 
			  
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177.  - SON, NOT EVEN AN UNLICENSED
CIRCUS WOULD STOOP THAT LOW. 
			  
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178.  HOO, HOW DISGUSTING! 
			  
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179.  - NO DISRESPECT, 
			  
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180.  BUT YOU HAVE GOT THE MOST
PRONOUNCED OVERBITE 
			  
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181.  I'VE EVER SEEN. 
			  
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182.  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY? 
			  
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183.  - I PULL A TRAIN WITH MY TEETH. 
			  
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184.  - UH-HUH. 
			  
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185.  ANYTHING AT HOME
I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? 
			  
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186.  DO YOU SUCK YOUR THUMB? 
			  
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187.  - UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING? 
			  
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188.  - I'M YOUR DAD'S
TEMPORARY ASSISTANT. 
			  
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189.  - NO, YOU'RE NOT. 
			  
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190.  YOU'RE MY ASSISTANT. 
			  
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191.  - HOW I WORK
WHEN I'M NOT WORKING 
			  
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192.  IS ENTIRELY UP TO ME. 
			  
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193.  - THANK YOU, WENDY.
GREAT JOB. 
			  
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194.  - PRAISE? 
			  
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195.  UNBELIEVABLE. 
			  
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196.  - HOO, CONOR!
WHOA! 
			  
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197.  WHAT'D THEY HAVE YOU DO,
SWEEP UP AFTER THE ELEPHANTS? 
			  
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198.  - YES. 
			  
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199.  - UM, FANTASTIC! 
			  
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200.  IT'S THE BEST JOB IN THE CIRCUS. 
			  
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201.  - I SUCK AT EVERY JOB HERE. 
			  
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202.  I COULDN'T EVEN SWEEP UP
A SPOTLIGHT. 
			  
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203.  I KEPT TRIPPING OVER IT. 
			  
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204.  - HEY, THESE ARE TOUGH JOBS
TO MASTER. 
			  
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205.  IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME 
			  
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206.  BEFORE YOU FIND THAT ONE THING
THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN DO. 
			  
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207.  - YOU SWEAR? 
			  
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208.  - ONLY WHEN I'M STUCK
IN TRAFFIC. 
			  
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209.  - I SUCK. 
			  
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210.  I'M PROBABLY THE BIGGEST LOSER
ON THE PLANET. 
			  
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211.  I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER— 
			  
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212.  POOP ME OUT! 
			  
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213.  - WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? 
			  
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214.  - I'M SORRY. 
			  
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215.  I DIDN'T MEAN TO—
- IT'S BRILLIANT! 
			  
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216.  - WHAT IS? 
			  
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217.  - YOUR ACT! 
			  
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218.  I'VE BEEN AROUND THE CIRCUS
MY WHOLE LIFE, 
			  
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219.  AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
SO VILE AND DEGRADING. 
			  
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220.  KID, YOU'RE GONNA BE A STAR! 
			  
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221.  - OOPS. 
			  
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222.  OKAY, I THINK I SEE
THE PROBLEM HERE. 
			  
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223.  AND I GOT IT. 
			  
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224.  - SO, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
TO MITCH. 
			  
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225.  NOW I FEEL BAD ABOUT THROWING
HIS CAPES IN THE STREET. 
			  
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226.  - DAD, I FOUND
MY SPECIAL TALENT. 
			  
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227.  - THAT'S GREAT! 
			  
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228.  - I'M COMING, MITCH! 
			  
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229.  I'M COMING TO BE WITH YOU! 
			  
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230.  - DAD, YOU WERE RIGHT. 
			  
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231.  I FOUND SOMETHING
THAT ONLY I'M GOOD AT. 
			  
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232.  THEY EVEN GAVE ME MY OWN ACT
IN THE SHOW. 
			  
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233.  - THAT'S FANTASTIC, SON. 
			  
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234.  I KNEW YOUR TENACITY
WOULD PAY OFF. 
			  
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235.  - JUST WANTED
TO TELL YOU THE NEWS. 
			  
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236.  GOT TO REHEARSE. 
			  
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237.  - LANCE, HAVE YOU SEEN
MEINBELT BUCKLE? 
			  
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238.  OH, JAN-SHIENTZEN-VIETEL! 
			  
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239.  - I'LL HAVE THE COTTON CANDY 
			  
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240.  AND, I GUESS,
THE CIRCUS PEANUTS. 
			  
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241.  - YOU GUYS SEEN
THE DENTIST KID'S NEW ACT? 
			  
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242.  - YEAH, IT'S A BREATH
OF FRESH AIR. 
			  
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243.  - I THINK IT PANDERS TO
THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR. 
			  
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244.  - HEY, EVERYONE. 
			  
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245.  - THERE HE IS! 
			  
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246.  ALL HAIL THE NEW STAR! 
			  
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247.  - WHY, YOU TWO-FACED BITCH! 
			  
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248.  - MY SISTER'S GREAT
AT EVERYTHING. 
			  
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249.  UNTIL I CAME HERE,
I FELT LIKE A LOSER. 
			  
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250.  - UH-HUH. 
			  
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251.  YEAH, WE ALL FELT LIKE FREAKS
UNTIL WE FOUND EACH OTHER. 
			  
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252.  THEN WE REALIZED, 
			  
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253.  THE JOHNNY NINE TO FIVES
WITH THEIR MORNING COMMUTES 
			  
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254.  AND THEIR TEN FINGERS
AND TEN TOES. 
			  
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255.  - I'D TAKE YOU MORE SERIOUSLY 
			  
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256.  IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A RAILROAD
SPIKE THROUGH YOUR HEAD. 
			  
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257.  - DO YOU EVER SHUT UP? 
			  
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258.  - COME ON, KID, TIME TO GET
READY FOR THE BIG TOP. 
			  
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259.  - DON'T I JUST SIT ON A STOOL
AND HOLD MY BREATH? 
			  
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260.  - KID, WE'RE GONNA TAKE
YOUR BASIC IDEA 
			  
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261.  OF STICKING YOUR HEAD UP
AN ELEPHANT'S BUTT 
			  
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262.  AND CLASS IT UP. 
			  
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263.  - TWO MORE. 
			  
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264.  ONE MORE. 
			  
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265.  GOOD. 
			  
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266.  - OH, YEAH! 
			  
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267.  - YOU ARE GOOD STUDENT,
AMERICAN JACKIE. 
			  
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268.  SHOW ME YOUR TEST SCORES. 
			  
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269.  - LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME. 
			  
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270.  I AM SEXY! 
			  
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271.  SEXY! 
			  
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272.  A SPECIAL PREVIEW
OF CONOR'S ACT? 
			  
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273.  OH, I'M SO PROUD,
I COULD JUST RIP HIS ARMS OFF! 
			  
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274.  - SO, DAD, NOT WENDY,
WHAT'S HIS ACT ALL ABOUT? 
			  
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275.  - "THE WORLD'S
FANCIEST GENTLEMAN." 
			  
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276.  I'M GUESSING IT'S SOMETHING
PRETTY FANCY. 
			  
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277.  - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 
			  
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278.  WE PRESENT
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER 
			  
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279.  THE WORLD'S FANCIEST GENTLEMAN! 
			  
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280.  - CONOR, YOU THE MAN! 
			  
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281.  - REPRESENT! 
			  
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282.  AH. 
			  
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283.  I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR SOMETHING FANCY. 
			  
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284.  - OH! 
			  
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285.  - HOLY CRAP. 
			  
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286.  - ALL RIGHT! 
			  
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287.  LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE WORLD'S
FANCIEST GENTLEMAN! 
			  
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288.  I'M FAMOUS. 
			  
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289.  - GLENN, YOUR SON'S GETTING PAID
TO STICK HIS HEAD 
			  
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290.  IN AN ELEPHANT'S RECTUM. 
			  
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291.  - THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE. 
			  
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292.  HE SAID NOTHING
ABOUT BEING PAID. 
			  
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293.  - IF HE DOES THIS
EVEN ONCE IN PUBLIC, 
			  
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294.  IT'LL LAND ON THE INTERNET. 
			  
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295.  HIS LIFE WILL TURN OUT WORSE
THAN WE EVEN THOUGHT IT WOULD. 
			  
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296.  - OH, YOU'RE OVERREACTING. 
			  
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297.  - REALLY, GLENN? 
			  
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298.  DO YOU REMEMBER
"MAN SOILS SELF IN CHURCH"? 
			  
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299.  - I'M SO EMBARRASSED! 
			  
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300.  - OH, REVEREND, 
			  
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301.  KEEP HIM AWAY
FROM THE COLLECTION BASKET. 
			  
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302.  - OH, SATAN.
- THIS IS SO WRONG. 
			  
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303.  I'LL POST A FUNNY COMMENT,
BUT IT IS WRONG. 
			  
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304.  OH, THAT GUY. 
			  
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305.  NOW THAT WAS
A STAINED GLASS WINDOW! 
			  
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306.  FANCY GENTLEMAN. 
			  
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307.  - SO, CONOR, 
			  
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308.  ABOUT THIS ACT... 
			  
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309.  - WASN'T IT AWESOME? 
			  
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310.  - IT SURE WAS. 
			  
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311.  AND I FORBID YOU
FROM EVER DOING IT AGAIN. 
			  
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312.  - BUT YOU TOLD ME
TO FIND A TALENT. 
			  
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313.  - CONOR, IF YOU DO THIS ACT
IN PUBLIC, 
			  
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314.  YOU'LL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS
THE GUY IN THE ELEPHANT'S BUTT, 
			  
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315.  AND THAT'S A STINK
THAT'LL NEVER WASH OFF. 
			  
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316.  - BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY
EVERY JOB HAS A VALUE. 
			  
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317.  - NAH, THAT DOESN'T REALLY
SOUND LIKE ME. 
			  
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318.  SORRY, VINCE, I JUST DON'T THINK 
			  
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319.  THE CIRCUS LIFESTYLE
IS RIGHT FOR CONOR. 
			  
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320.  NO DISRESPECT TO YOU
AND YOUR SHADY BRETHREN. 
			  
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321.  - I ADMIRE YOU, GLENN. 
			  
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322.  A LOT OF PARENTS WOULD JUMP
AT THIS OPPORTUNITY, 
			  
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323.  KNOWING THEIR SON
COULD BE SUPER RICH, 
			  
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324.  BE ON klMMEL... 
			  
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325.  - KIMMEL? 
			  
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326.  - CONOR, I WISH YOU COULD STAY. 
			  
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327.  YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL TALENT. 
			  
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328.  BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? 
			  
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329.  I'M JUST A SELF-MADE MILLIONAIRE 
			  
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330.  WHO GETS TO WEAR A RED SUIT
AND A TOP HAT EVERY DAY. 
			  
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331.  ANYWAY, I WOULD HAVE SAID,
"FOLLOW YOUR HEART," 
			  
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332.  BUT FATHER KNOWS BEST, RIGHT? 
			  
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333.  - DID YOU JUST WINK AT MY SON? 
			  
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334.  - I CERTAINLY DID NOT. 
			  
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335.  - SON, I KNOW
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED. 
			  
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336.  YOU PROBABLY WANT TO CALL ME
EVERY DIRTY WORD IN THE BOOK. 
			  
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337.  SCALAWAG, NE'ER-DO-WELL,
MISANTHROPE... 
			  
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338.  - GLENN, UPSTAIRS, NOW! 
			  
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339.  - IN A SECOND, JACKIE.
I'M JUST— 
			  
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340.  - I SAID NOW! 
			  
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341.  - WHOOPS, GOT TO GO. 
			  
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342.  JACKIE? 
			  
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343.  JACKIE? 
			  
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344.  WHOA! 
			  
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345.  JACKIE, ARE YOU INITIATING SEX? 
			  
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346.  - SHUT UP
AND GRAB THE HEADBOARD. 
			  
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347.  - HUH. 
			  
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348.  - WHOA! 
			  
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349.  - THERE'S SOMEONE
LIVING THE DREAM. 
			  
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350.  - YOU'VE GOT A SPECIAL TALENT. 
			  
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351.  YOU COULD HAVE BEEN
ON KIMMEL... 
			  
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352.  KIMMEL... 
			  
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353.  KIMMEL... 
			  
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354.  - WOW, THAT GUY REALLY GOT
IN MY HEAD. 
			  
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355.  - NO, I'M RIGHT HERE. 
			  
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356.  - OH. 
			  
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357.  - FIVE MINUTES TO SHOW TIME. 
			  
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358.  IT'S NOT TOO LATE. 
			  
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359.  - OH, BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO. 
			  
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360.  - YEAH, AND I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO DRIVE LOADED 
			  
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361.  ON GOOFBALLS AND GIN,
BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME. 
			  
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362.  HOP IN. 
			  
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363.  - OKAY. 
			  
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364.  WHOA, LOOK OUT! 
			  
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365.  COMING THROUGH! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
366.  - OH, VINCE, I HAVE A FEW
QUESTIONS ABOUT MY CHARACTER. 
			  
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367.  - WHAT'S THERE TO KNOW? 
			  
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368.  JUST FLAIL YOUR ARMS AROUND
LIKE A REAL SPAS. 
			  
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369.  I WANT PEOPLE TO THINK
YOU'RE DYING IN THERE. 
			  
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370.  - YEAH, BUT VINCE—
- WHAT? 
			  
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371.  - WELL, WELL DOES
THE FANCY GENTLEMAN NOTICE 
			  
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372.  THERE'S AN ELEPHANT
IN THE RESTAURANT, 
			  
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373.  AND IF SO, IS HE SURPRISED? 
			  
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374.  AND IF NOT, WHY NOT? 
			  
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375.  - WHO CARES? 
			  
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376.  DOES IT STINK LESS
IF YOU KNOW THESE THINGS? 
			  
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377.  - I'M JUST TRYING
TO FIND MY MOTIVATION. 
			  
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378.  - YOUR MOTIVATION IS, 
			  
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379.  I DON'T HIT YOU
WITH A SOCK FULL OF DIMES. 
			  
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380.  KID, YOU REALIZE YOU'RE NOT
AN ACTUAL FANCY MAN, DON'T YOU? 
			  
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381.  YOU'RE A SCHLUB
WHO GETS PAID 
			  
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382.  FOR STICKING YOUR HEAD
UP AN ELEPHANT'S TUCHUS. 
			  
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383.  - YEAH, BUT I'M ONLY TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT— 
			  
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384.  - LOOK, NEXT TIME
I HEAR YOUR VOICE, 
			  
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385.  IT BETTER BE COMING
FROM INSIDE AN ANIMAL, 
			  
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386.  BEGGING FOR AIR. 
			  
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387.  - OH. 
			  
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388.  - OH, BOY. 
			  
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389.  WHOO. 
			  
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390.  - GLENN, I'M NOT THROUGH
WITH YOU! 
			  
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391.  - I NEED 20 MINUTES
AND AN ICE PACK. 
			  
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392.  HEY, CONOR,
WE NEVER GOT TO FINISH OUR CHAT. 
			  
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393.  CONOR? 
			  
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394.  CONOR! 
			  
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395.  JACKIE, CONOR'S GONE! 
			  
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396.  - BARF BAGS! 
			  
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397.  BARF BAGS! 
			  
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398.  GET YOUR FANCY MAN BARF BAGS! 
			  
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399.  - I DON'T THINK I NEED
ONE OF THESE. 
			  
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400.  - TRUST ME, YOU DO. 
			  
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401.  - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 
			  
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402.  STRAIGHT FROM
FANCYTOWN, ENGLAND, 
			  
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403.  I INTRODUCE YOU TO... 
			  
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404.  THE WORLD'S FANCIEST GENTLEMAN! 
			  
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405.  - NO, NOT YET. 
			  
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406.  - OH, SNAP! 
			  
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407.  SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! 
			  
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408.  SHE IS ALL UP
IN THAT CHICLET'S KOOL AID! 
			  
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409.  - UGH, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP
TALKING LIKE THAT? 
			  
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410.  - I CAN TALK ANY WAY I WANT. 
			  
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411.  I'M ON MY VAY-CAY. 
			  
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412.  SO UNTIL 8:00,
YOU CAN KISS MY— 
			  
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413.  bong! 
			  
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414.  WOULD YOU LIKE A LATTE? 
			  
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415.  - OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK. 
			  
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416.  I MISSED YOUR SUBSERVIENCE. 
			  
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417.  - I MISSED IT TOO. 
			  
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418.  - FASTER!
WE HAVE TO STOP CONOR! 
			  
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419.  I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT. 
			  
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420.  - OH, WHY CAN'T YOU BE A MAN? 
			  
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421.  - FANCY MAN BARF BAG, SIR? 
			  
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422.  - SIR? 
			  
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423.  - CONOR! 
			  
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424.  - WHOA, WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING? 
			  
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425.  - I'M DOING WHAT
ANY FATHER WOULD DO. 
			  
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426.  I'M GETTING MY SON'S HEAD
OUT OF AN ELEPHANT'S ANUS. 
			  
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427.  - LIKE HELL YOU ARE. 
			  
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428.  YOU THINK I'M JUST GOING TO—
OOF! 
			  
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429.  OKAY.
ENJOY THE SHOW. 
			  
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430.  - CONOR! 
			  
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431.  CONOR, COME TOWARDS THE LIGHT! 
			  
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432.  - DAMN YOU, MARTIN FAMILY CURSE. 
			  
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433.  WHY MUST WE ALL HAVE
SUCH GIANT HEADS? 
			  
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434.  - SAC UP, GLENN. 
			  
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435.  - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 
			  
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436.  I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY ACT! 
			  
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437.  - OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE. 
			  
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438.  IT SMELLED WORSE THAN
CLEVELAND ON LABOR DAY. 
			  
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439.  - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 
			  
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440.  CONOR, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE? 
			  
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441.  I'M COMING, BOY! 
			  
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442.  - MOM, DAD, OVER HERE! 
			  
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443.  - MY BABY! 
			  
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444.  COME HERE, YOU! 
			  
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445.  - OW. 
			  
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446.  OW!
OW! 
			  
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447.  - BUT, BUT YOU RAN OFF. 
			  
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448.  WE THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU
DOING THE PACHYDERM PLUNGE. 
			  
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449.  - I WAS GONNA DO IT, 
			  
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450.  BUT THEN I DECIDED TO SELL
MY ACT TO THE HE-SHE. 
			  
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451.  - WHO? 
			  
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452.  - HIM-HER. 
			  
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453.  I TOOK A FLAT UP-FRONT FEE 
			  
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454.  PLUS 5% OF ALL MERCHANDISING. 
			  
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455.  - CREATION OF CONCEPT,
SALES AND LICENSING. 
			  
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456.  OH, YOU'VE GOT SOME
REAL BUSINESS ACUMEN. 
			  
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457.  I KNEW YOU'D FIND YOUR TALENT. 
			  
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458.  SO HOW MUCH DID YOU SELL IT FOR? 
			  
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459.  - $10. 
			  
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460.  - OH. 
			  
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461.  DID YOU AT LEAST GET IT
IN WRITING? 
			  
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462.  - EVEN BETTER. 
			  
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463.  WE SPIT IN OUR HANDS
AND SHOOK. 
			  
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464.  NOW, THAT WAS DISGUSTING. 
			  
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465.  - WENDY, WAKE UP. 
			  
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466.  - WHAT? 
			  
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467.  OH, MY GOD, I OVERSLEPT! 
			  
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468.  SHALL I ASSIGN MYSELF
A PUNISHMENT, 
			  
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469.  OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPIN
THE WHEEL OF RETRIBUTION? 
			  
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470.  - NO, I LET YOU SLEEP IN. 
			  
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471.  YOUR VACATION SHOWED ME
IT'S POSSIBLE 
			  
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472.  FOR AN 11-YEAR-OLD TO GET BY
WITHOUT A FULL-TIME ASSISTANT. 
			  
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473.  HERE, I GOT YOU A PRESENT. 
			  
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474.  - A HELLO KITTY COFFEE MAKER! 
			  
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475.  I LOVE IT! 
			  
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476.  - YOU'RE WELCOME. 
			  
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477.  I TAKE MINE BLACK. 
			  
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478.  - HERE YOU GO, GLENN. 
			  
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479.  PAID IN FULL. 
			  
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480.  - HEY, THIS IS AN ENVELOPE
FULL OF ROCKS. 
			  
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481.  - IS IT? 
			  
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482.  I WASN'T TRYING TO SWINDLE YOU. 
			  
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483.  THAT WOULD BE UNETHICAL. 
			  
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484.  - IN LIEU OF PAYMENT, 
			  
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485.  HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO HELP YOU REMEMBER 
			  
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486.  YOUR FAMILY HERE AT THE CIRCUS. 
			  
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487.  I HAD IT BRONZED. 
			  
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488.  - A FANCIEST GENTLEMAN
BARF BAG. 
			  
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489.  OH, I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING
TO PUT ON MY TROPHY SHELF. 
			  
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490.  EW, IT'S FULL. 
			  
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491.  - YEAH, TOO MANY GOOFBALLS
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. 
			  
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492.  - I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT GEEK THOUGHT I WAS A MAN. 
			  
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493.  COME ON. 
			  
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494.  JUST 'CAUSE I LIKE TO STAY FIT
DOESN'T MEAN I— 
			  
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495.  MAYBE I HAVE GONE TOO FAR. 
			  
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