1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN,
FATHER, DENTIST, LOVER,Copy !req
2. BUT MOSTLY FATHER
AND DENTIST.Copy !req
3. I TOOK MY FAMILY ON A ROAD TRIP
SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.Copy !req
4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED
THE HOUSE DOWN.Copy !req
5. SO IT'S ME,
MY WIFE, JACKIE—Copy !req
6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST—
OH!Copy !req
7. OUR SON, CONOR,
THE LADIES' MAN,Copy !req
8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—Copy !req
9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING
FOR HER ONE DAY.Copy !req
10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY
ALREADY IS.Copy !req
11. OOH, CAN'T FORGET CANINE.Copy !req
12. HE'S GOT A GIANT... HEART.Copy !req
13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?Copy !req
14. - GARCON, BOTTLE OF KETCHUP
FOR MY COQ AU VIN.Copy !req
15. - YOU WOULD PUT KETCHUP
ON SUCH A DELICACY?Copy !req
16. YOU POMPOUS AMERICAN TURD.Copy !req
17. - EXCELLENT.Copy !req
18. - WELL DONE, SIR.Copy !req
19. SO AUTHENTIC.Copy !req
20. - WHO NEEDS THE REAL FRANCE
WHEN YOU GOT LAS VEGAS?Copy !req
21. - EXACTLY.Copy !req
22. AND JUST LIKE THE REAL FRANCE,Copy !req
23. THE AMERICAN DOLLAR
IS ALMOST WORTHLESS HERE.Copy !req
24. - IS IT OKAY IF WENDY AND I
CHECK OUT THE GIFT SHOP?Copy !req
25. - OKAY, BUT DON'T GO FAR.Copy !req
26. WE ARE IN A SIMULATED
FOREIGN COUNTRY.Copy !req
27. AND WE'RE MEETING GANGA
AND NEM-NEM IN A FEW MINUTES.Copy !req
28. - GANGA AND NEM-NEM.Copy !req
29. YOUR PARENTS AREN'T PANDAS.
THEY'RE JACKALS.Copy !req
30. - LOOK, I KNOW THEY'VE NEVER
GIVEN YOU A FAIR SHAKE.Copy !req
31. BUT PROMISE YOU'LL KEEP IT
IN CHECK, FOR ME?Copy !req
32. - WELL, WE ARE
IN THE CITY OF LOVECopy !req
33. INSIDE THE CITY OF SIN.Copy !req
34. - HERE IS YOUR KETCHUP,
YOU CHILD.Copy !req
35. - WONDERFUL.
OH, HE'S GETTING A BIG TIP.Copy !req
36. - EW.Copy !req
37. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE
SMOKE IN THIS TOWN.Copy !req
38. - NO KIDDING.Copy !req
39. IN THIS DAY AND AGE,Copy !req
40. YOU'D HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT
TO LIGHT UP.Copy !req
41. IDIOT. IDIOT.
CONOR. IDIOT.Copy !req
42. - CONOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
43. - INHALING SOME SWEET
SECONDHAND SMOKECopy !req
44. FROM MY BUDDY ARCHIE.Copy !req
45. - HELLO, LADIES.Copy !req
46. - ADMIT IT, I LOOK COOL.Copy !req
47. - OH, PLEASE.Copy !req
48. - THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A SMOKER WHO'S COOL.Copy !req
49. - COOL.Copy !req
50. - I WOULD SAY
THOSE ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH,Copy !req
51. BUT SO IS LEAD POISONING.Copy !req
52. GOOD-BYE,
SUPERAGENT DRAKE STONE.Copy !req
53. - CONGRATULATIONS, PETRENKO.Copy !req
54. YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF
TO BE THE MASTER,Copy !req
55. WHILE I AM JUST THE PUPIL.Copy !req
56. - HMM.Copy !req
57. THAT PUN'S
GOT TO MEAN SOMETHING,Copy !req
58. BUT WHAT?Copy !req
59. AHH!Copy !req
60. OH-HO.
PUPIL!Copy !req
61. NOW I GET IT.Copy !req
62. - HI-YA!Copy !req
63. WELL, IT'S BEEN A BLAST.Copy !req
64. thud! smack!
OOF!Copy !req
65. UH-OH.Copy !req
66. OH!Copy !req
67. - I HATE
VISITING WITH YOUR PARENTS.Copy !req
68. YOUR FATHER'S
ALWAYS FLAUNTING HIS MONEY,Copy !req
69. TRYING TO EMASCULATE ME.Copy !req
70. CURIOUS BEHAVIOR FROM A GUY
WHO'S AGAINST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.Copy !req
71. - IT'S NOT
THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.Copy !req
72. IT'S JUST THAT HE REALLY
HAD HIGH HOPES FOR ME.Copy !req
73. - HEY, THERE'S GANGA.Copy !req
74. - COME ON.Copy !req
75. DON'T BE SHY.Copy !req
76. - IF YOU INSIST.Copy !req
77. smash!
- OOH.Copy !req
78. YEAH!
THAT'S THE STUFF!Copy !req
79. - GANGA!Copy !req
80. - HEY, THERE, SQUIRT.Copy !req
81. - OH, LOOK AT YOU.Copy !req
82. - HEY, NEM-NEM.Copy !req
83. - AND YOU MUST BE WENDY.Copy !req
84. I CAN TELL
BY THE KOREAN APPEARANCE.Copy !req
85. - IN FULL DISCLOSURE, DEAR,Copy !req
86. WHITEY KILLED
MANY OF YOUR PEOPLE IN THE WAR.Copy !req
87. - OH.Copy !req
88. WELL, I'M SURE
HE DIDN'T WANT TO.Copy !req
89. - OKAY.
LET'S SAY THAT.Copy !req
90. THERE SHE IS.Copy !req
91. DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL.Copy !req
92. - WHEE!Copy !req
93. - IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU,
SWEETHEART.Copy !req
94. AND WE PROMISE
NOT TO MAKE ANY JUDGMENTSCopy !req
95. ABOUT YOU LIVING IN A VAN.Copy !req
96. - YEAH, WE KNOW
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.Copy !req
97. IT'S GLENDA'S.Copy !req
98. - DADDY, HIS NAME'S GLENN.Copy !req
99. - OH, LIKE GLENN CLOSE.Copy !req
100. - I'D TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT
IF THE LADYCopy !req
101. HADN'T BEEN NOMINATED
FOR FIVE ACADEMY AWARDS.Copy !req
102. THAT'S RIGHT,
FIVE.Copy !req
103. - WELL, THIS IS IT.Copy !req
104. - IT'S LOVELY.Copy !req
105. AND WHO CARES
WHAT THE NEIGHBORS THINKCopy !req
106. WHEN YOU CAN JUST
DRIVE AWAY FROM THEM?Copy !req
107. - IT'S A DELIVERY GUY.Copy !req
108. - OH, YEAH, WE GOT YOU
A LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT.Copy !req
109. - WHOA.
WHOA.Copy !req
110. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS STUFF?Copy !req
111. - NOW, DON'T THINK OF IT
AS CHARITYCopy !req
112. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I CAN'T
WRITE IT OFF.Copy !req
113. - WHITEY, WE'RE DOING FINE.
WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.Copy !req
114. - THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY.
GLENN'S AN EXCELLENT PROVIDER.Copy !req
115. - PUMPKIN, LOOK AT YOUR FRIDGE.Copy !req
116. THERE'S NO TV IN IT.Copy !req
117. WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WATCH
WHEN YOU'RE GETTING ICE CUBES?Copy !req
118. - WOW!Copy !req
119. KIDS,
GATHER ROUND THE ICE DISPENSER.Copy !req
120. RACHAEL RAY IS ON.Copy !req
121. - ALL THIS STUFF IS GOING BACK.Copy !req
122. - WHAT? NO!
- NO!Copy !req
123. - I GET IT, GLENN.Copy !req
124. YOU'RE PROUD.
OF WHAT, I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
125. BUT AT LEAST LET ME
BUY THE FAMILY DINNER.Copy !req
126. - OKAY.
I GUESS I CAN—Copy !req
127. - FOR A YEAR.Copy !req
128. - WHITEY, WE'RE DOING FINE.Copy !req
129. IN FACT,
I'M GONNA BUY YOU DINNER.Copy !req
130. - FOR A YEAR!Copy !req
131. - FOR A NIGHT.Copy !req
132. ONE WHOLE NIGHT.Copy !req
133. - ARE YOU SURE
WE CAN AFFORD THIS PLACE?Copy !req
134. - JACKIE, I'M NOT JUST
BUYING YOUR DAD LOBSTER.Copy !req
135. I'M BUYING VINDICATION.Copy !req
136. AND HOPEFULLY CLOGGED ARTERIES.Copy !req
137. LOOK AT THE SIZE
OF THAT BEAST I BOUGHT YOU,Copy !req
138. HUH, WHITEY?Copy !req
139. - AH, I'VE HAD BIGGER.Copy !req
140. - NOW, WHITEY.Copy !req
141. - WAITER, BRING HIM BIGGER.Copy !req
142. thud!Copy !req
143. AH, NOW,
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, HUH?Copy !req
144. - SURE.Copy !req
145. WOULDN'T KILL ME
TO GO TO BED HUNGRY.Copy !req
146. - DADDY.Copy !req
147. - NOT A PROBLEM, DEAR.Copy !req
148. WAITER, IS THAT THE BIGGEST
LOBSTER YOU HAVE?Copy !req
149. - YES, SIR.
WELL, ASIDE FROM OLD SHELLEY.Copy !req
150. BUT HE'S BEEN HERE 70 YEARS.Copy !req
151. KIND OF A MASCOT AROUND HERE.Copy !req
152. - BOIL HIM.Copy !req
153. - HUH, SIR,
SURELY YOU CAN'T MEAN—Copy !req
154. - I WANT THAT WATERLOGGED RAT'S
ASS ON A PLATE NOW.Copy !req
155. - HEAVENLY FATHER,Copy !req
156. PLEASE PARDON THE SINS
OF OUR BELOVED CRUSTACEAN.Copy !req
157. - WHEN YOU'RE DONE, FATHER,Copy !req
158. WE'RE GONNA NEED
SOME EXTRA BUTTER.Copy !req
159. - THAT WAS THE LAST
ORIGINAL THING IN VEGAS.Copy !req
160. HE HAD SO MUCH MORE TO TEACH US.Copy !req
161. WELL, I'M STUFFED.Copy !req
162. - STUFFED?
YOU BARELY TOUCHED IT.Copy !req
163. - YEAH, I THINK THAT FIRST
LOBSTER WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.Copy !req
164. FILE THAT UNDER LESSONS LEARNED.Copy !req
165. DAMN, I'M HUNGRY.
LET'S GO TO SOMEPLACE FANCY.Copy !req
166. YAY!Copy !req
167. - WAIT.
WHAT?Copy !req
168. - GLENN, LET IT GO.Copy !req
169. MY FATHER
WILL NEVER LET YOU WIN.Copy !req
170. - THE BILL, SIR.Copy !req
171. - HOLY SMOKES.
I CAN'T PAY THIS.Copy !req
172. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BREAK MY LEGS,
ARE YOU?Copy !req
173. SIR, THAT'S THE OLD VEGAS, OKAY?Copy !req
174. WE DON'T DO THAT NO MORE.Copy !req
175. NOW WE JUST HARVEST YOUR ORGANS.Copy !req
176. WE EVEN HAVE SOMEONE
INTERESTED IN YOUR APPENDIX.Copy !req
177. - PLEASE, I WAS JUST TRYING
TO IMPRESS MY FATHER-IN-LAW.Copy !req
178. - FATHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS.Copy !req
179. I CAN RELATE.Copy !req
180. MINE'S A REAL MONSTER.Copy !req
181. - OH, YEAH?Copy !req
182. - HE'S THE ONE
WHO'S GONNA EAT YOUR APPENDIX.Copy !req
183. - BUT I NEED MY APPENDIX.Copy !req
184. IT'S HOW MY BODY
KEEPS TRACK OF FOOTNOTES.Copy !req
185. - TELL YOU WHAT.Copy !req
186. YOU CAN PAY OFF YOUR DEBT
BY WORKING IN THE CASINO.Copy !req
187. - GREAT.Copy !req
188. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?Copy !req
189. BUS TABLES?
PARK CARS?Copy !req
190. - I'M THINKING SHOWBIZ.Copy !req
191. - AND NOW,
LADIES AND AGING HOMOSEXUALS,Copy !req
192. PLEASE WELCOME HONCHO!Copy !req
193. - IS IT TOO LATE
FOR THE APPENDIX THING?Copy !req
194. - I LIKE HIM BECAUSE HIS
PEAR-SHAPED BODY'S A NOVELTY.Copy !req
195. - I LIKE HIM
BECAUSE IT'S JUST PLAIN SAD.Copy !req
196. - MAMA LIKES YOU, BABY.Copy !req
197. - OH.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.Copy !req
198. YEE-HAW!Copy !req
199. MAKE IT RAIN, LADIES.Copy !req
200. OOH, YEAH.Copy !req
201. - COME ON.
STOP IT.Copy !req
202. - I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM.Copy !req
203. I CAN STOP SECONDHAND SMOKING
WHENEVER I WANT.Copy !req
204. OOH!Copy !req
205. THERE WAS GUM IN THERE.Copy !req
206. - HERE'S 10 BUCKS.Copy !req
207. IF HE TRIES TO LEAVE,
PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT.Copy !req
208. - YOU'RE WONDERING,
"WHY ARE PENN AND TELLERCopy !req
209. CONDUCTING A STOP SMOKING
SEMINAR?"Copy !req
210. BECAUSE MAGIC DOES NOT GET YOU
AS MANY CHICKS AS YOU'D THINK.Copy !req
211. - I'M AT THE COORDINATES.Copy !req
212. WHAT NEXT?Copy !req
213. - GOOD WORK, STONE.Copy !req
214. YOUR MISSION,
SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT—Copy !req
215. - OF COURSE I ACCEPT IT.
I'M DRAKE STONE.Copy !req
216. WOULD I HAVE GIVEN MYSELF
SUCH A MACHO ALIASCopy !req
217. IF I WERE A WUSSY?Copy !req
218. - MY APOLOGIES.Copy !req
219. YOUR MISSION IS TO QUIT SMOKING.Copy !req
220. - WHAT?Copy !req
221. - SORRY, DRAKE,
YOU'RE JUST TOO HARD TO INSURE.Copy !req
222. JUMPING OUT OF PLANES
WITHOUT PARACHUTES IS ONE THING,Copy !req
223. BUT SMOKING, THAT'S HIGH-RISK.Copy !req
224. - WHOA!Copy !req
225. crash!Copy !req
226. - OH, WHOA!Copy !req
227. - I GUESS DRINKS ARE ON ME.Copy !req
228. - THESE ARE THE LUNGS
OF A SMOKER.Copy !req
229. - OH, GROSS.Copy !req
230. - QUITTING SMOKING BY YOURSELF
IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.Copy !req
231. IT'S ALMOST AS IMPOSSIBLE
AS THIS.Copy !req
232. OOH!Copy !req
233. - NERD!
squish!Copy !req
234. thud!Copy !req
235. - THAT'S WHY, AT BUTTKICKERS,Copy !req
236. EVERYONE WILL BE HANDCUFFED
TO THEIR SMOKING BUDDYCopy !req
237. FOR THE NEXT 72 HOURS.Copy !req
238. - I SHOULD WARN YOU,
I LIKE TO SHOWER IN THE NUDE.Copy !req
239. WHAT?
NO!Copy !req
240. - HELLO.
CONOR MARTIN.Copy !req
241. - OH, GOD.Copy !req
242. - OH, HONCHO.Copy !req
243. HOW DID YOU KNOW
TO TOUCH ME THERE?Copy !req
244. - MILDRED, IN MY EXPERIENCE,
WOMEN NEVER WANT SEX.Copy !req
245. THEY JUST WANT A MAN
TO RUB THEIR FEETCopy !req
246. AND LISTEN
TO THEIR BORING DREAMS.Copy !req
247. YOU KNOW, IN FACT,
MY WIFE SAYS TO ME—Copy !req
248. - SHH!
YOU'RE RUINING THE FANTASY.Copy !req
249. - WHERE ARE WE GOING?Copy !req
250. - MY APARTMENT.Copy !req
251. THE LOCATION IS SECRET,Copy !req
252. SO I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO GIVE YOU SOMETHINGCopy !req
253. TO KNOCK YOU OUT.Copy !req
254. - OKAY.
IF YOU HAVE TO.Copy !req
255. smack!Copy !req
256. beep!Copy !req
257. - WAKEY, WAKEY.Copy !req
258. smack!
- OOF!Copy !req
259. OW!Copy !req
260. - STOP WHINING.Copy !req
261. THINK I'M HAPPY
ABOUT THIS SITUATION?Copy !req
262. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE
MAKING ME GIVE UP SMOKING.Copy !req
263. WHAT NEXT,
GIVE UP GRATUITOUS TORTURE?Copy !req
264. - COOL PLACE!Copy !req
265. WHAT'S YOUR JOB, ANYWAY?Copy !req
266. - I WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT,Copy !req
267. AND I CAN'T TELL YOU
MORE THAN THAT.Copy !req
268. - GOTCHA.Copy !req
269. YOU'RE EMBARRASSED.Copy !req
270. GARBAGEMAN.Copy !req
271. - WHAT? NO—Copy !req
272. MY JOB'S WAY COOLER
THAN GARBAGEMAN.Copy !req
273. - OH, STREET SWEEPER.Copy !req
274. - NO, I AM—
FINE.Copy !req
275. I'M AN INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPY.Copy !req
276. - SO WHAT ARE YOU
SO EMBARRASSED ABOUT?Copy !req
277. - I DIDN'T SAY I—Copy !req
278. I NEED A CIGARETTE.Copy !req
279. - NO, NO,
SMOKING IS DANGEROUS.Copy !req
280. DON'T YOU REMEMBER
WHAT PENN SAIDCopy !req
281. AND TELLER NODDED TO?Copy !req
282. - NO!Copy !req
283. THESE MISSIONS
ARE GETTING HARDER AND HARDER.Copy !req
284. - HEY, WON'T MY FAMILY
NOTICE I'M GONE?Copy !req
285. - I'M SURE THAT'S ALREADY
BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.Copy !req
286. - HUH.Copy !req
287. - GOOD MORNING, ALL.Copy !req
288. COURTNEY, WENDY,Copy !req
289. THOSE ENSEMBLES
COULD NOT LOOK MORE FETCHING.Copy !req
290. - WHAT'S WITH CONOR?Copy !req
291. - YEAH.Copy !req
292. HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN UP
SECONDHAND SMOKING YEARS AGO.Copy !req
293. - GOOD MORNING, LOVED ONES,Copy !req
294. AND OTHERS.Copy !req
295. - AND YOU MUST BE FATHER.
- HUH?Copy !req
296. - GLENN,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT?Copy !req
297. - HEY, SNUGGLE BUNS.Copy !req
298. MWAH!Copy !req
299. I WAS JUST PLAYING
FIVE-CARD STUD,Copy !req
300. GIVE OR TAKE FIVE CARDS.Copy !req
301. - HUH.Copy !req
302. I DON'T APPROVE OF GAMBLING,Copy !req
303. BUT I DO ENJOY
UNDECLARED INCOME.Copy !req
304. GIVE ME.Copy !req
305. - SOME FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU.Copy !req
306. - GOOD FOR YOU, GLENDA.Copy !req
307. BUT DO YOU KNOW
HOW REAL MEN GAMBLE?Copy !req
308. ONE BULLET
AND FIVE EMPTY CHAMBERS.Copy !req
309. THANKS TO YOUR GRANDPA,Copy !req
310. I CAN'T REMEMBER
WHEN MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY IS.Copy !req
311. - I THINK IT'S ON THE 3RD
OF JACKASS.Copy !req
312. - WELL, WHITEY,Copy !req
313. APPARENTLY MY GAMBLING WAS
MANLY ENOUGH TO BUY YOU THIS.Copy !req
314. OOH!
- DADDY, LOOK.Copy !req
315. - WHITEY, YOU COULD NEVER AFFORD
A WATCH THIS EXPENSIVE.Copy !req
316. - COURTESY OF HONCHO.Copy !req
317. WHOO, YEAH.Copy !req
318. - OH!Copy !req
319. UGH.Copy !req
320. MMM!Copy !req
321. WOW!
CAESARS MALL.Copy !req
322. HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT JUST 2,000 YEARS AGO,Copy !req
323. THE EMPEROR HIMSELF
SHOPPED AT THIS VERY GAP.Copy !req
324. - THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL.Copy !req
325. - THAT'S WHY I SAID
"IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE," WHITEY.Copy !req
326. JUST ENJOY YOUR IPOD, OKAY?Copy !req
327. - HONEY, I'M GLAD YOU'VE MADE
SO MUCH FROM GAMBLING,Copy !req
328. BUT YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF.Copy !req
329. OUT ALL NIGHT, YOU INSIST
ON WEARING THAT MUSTACHE,Copy !req
330. AND THESE JEANS LOOK LIKE
THEY'RE PAINTED ON.Copy !req
331. - THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE.Copy !req
332. REMIND ME NOT TO SIT
UNTIL THEY DRY.Copy !req
333. - DRAKE,
THAT WAS PRACTICALLY ORGASMIC.Copy !req
334. - MAY I?Copy !req
335. - NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY.Copy !req
336. - DAMN YOU,
HANDCUFF SMOKE PARTNER.Copy !req
337. - ISN'T IT A LITTLE WEIRDCopy !req
338. TO HAVE YOUR SON
IN THE ROOM WITH US?Copy !req
339. - HE'S NOT MY SON.Copy !req
340. HE'S JUST SOME STRANGE
13-YEAR-OLD BOYCopy !req
341. I MET IN THE CASINO.Copy !req
342. EXCUSE US, WON'T YOU?Copy !req
343. - OW!Copy !req
344. - BISHOP TAKES ROOK.Copy !req
345. WOULD YOU MIND
MOVING THAT PIECE FOR ME, WENDY?Copy !req
346. - SURE, BUT WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
NEED ME TO MOVE YOUR PIECES?Copy !req
347. - UH, I JUST LIKE THE WAYCopy !req
348. YOUR SLENDER
ALABASTER HANDS LOOKCopy !req
349. AGAINST THE BRUSHED IVORY.Copy !req
350. - AND I BELIEVE, DEAR SISTER,
THAT IS CHECKMATE.Copy !req
351. WELL, THE HOUR IS NIGH,Copy !req
352. SO I SHALL RETIRE TO THE COMPANY
OF KEATS AND WORDSWORTH.Copy !req
353. ADIEU.Copy !req
354. - THIS IS BAD.Copy !req
355. I THINK I'M FALLING
FOR YOUR BROTHER.Copy !req
356. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?Copy !req
357. I THINK I'M FALLING
FOR MY BROTHER.Copy !req
358. - I DON'T KNOW, GLENN.
I FEEL SILLY.Copy !req
359. - OH, COME ON, GIRL,
WE BOTH DESERVE TO FEEL PRETTY.Copy !req
360. WHOA.Copy !req
361. - WELL, IT DEFINITELY
FEELS DIFFERENT THAN FLANNEL.Copy !req
362. - OH, YOU KNOW THE RULE.Copy !req
363. START WITH THE FEET.Copy !req
364. - OOH, IT TURNS ME ON WHEN YOU
MAKE ME ACT SUBSERVIENT.Copy !req
365. - OH, YEAH, THAT LITTLE PIGGY
WANTS ROAST BEEF.Copy !req
366. - AHH!
WHOA.Copy !req
367. - YOU OKAY, GLENN?
- YEAH.Copy !req
368. MUST BE THE FUMES
FROM YOUR FEET.Copy !req
369. IT'S NO BIG—Copy !req
370. MAMA LUCIA!Copy !req
371. I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
372. - WHAT, MORE GAMBLING?Copy !req
373. YOU'VE WON ENOUGH MONEY.Copy !req
374. - BUT I STILL HAVEN'T WON
YOUR DAD'S RESPECT.Copy !req
375. FOR A MAN,
THERE'S NO GREATER TURN-ONCopy !req
376. THAN WINNING THE LOVE
OF A WOMAN'S FATHER.Copy !req
377. - GLENN, YOU'RE ACTING CRAZY.Copy !req
378. - FOR THE SAKE OF OUR MARRIAGE,Copy !req
379. GET BACK HERE
AND HAVE SEX WITH ME.Copy !req
380. - UGH!
I HAVE TO GO STRIP—Copy !req
381. I MEAN, GAMBLE ON THE STRIP.Copy !req
382. - WHAT?Copy !req
383. - I AM BEGGING YOU,
FOR THE SAKE OF MY FAMILY,Copy !req
384. SET ME FREE.Copy !req
385. - AW, GRIPES.Copy !req
386. MY HEART SAYS YES,Copy !req
387. BUT CELINE DION SAYS, "NON."Copy !req
388. - CELINE DION?Copy !req
389. - HE'S GOT TO BE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.Copy !req
390. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CELINE.Copy !req
391. - RENEE, YOU GOT ME
THAT WHAT I WANTED?Copy !req
392. splat!Copy !req
393. - YEE-HAW!Copy !req
394. - IT'S HONCHO!Copy !req
395. GLENN?Copy !req
396. - UH-OH.Copy !req
397. - OH, MY FREAKING—Copy !req
398. - ALL THIS TIME,
I THOUGHT THIS MONEYCopy !req
399. WAS COMING FROM A WHOLESOME
ACTIVITY, LIKE GAMBLING.Copy !req
400. - STRIPPING
IN FRONT OF STRANGE WOMEN.Copy !req
401. THE ONLY TIME
I GET NAKED IN PUBLICCopy !req
402. IN THE STEAM BATH
IN FRONT OF OTHER MEN.Copy !req
403. - JUST PROMISE
YOU'LL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN.Copy !req
404. - I PROMISE.
I QUIT...Copy !req
405. AS SOON AS I BUY MY FREEDOM.Copy !req
406. IT'S KIND OF
A WHITE SLAVERY THING.Copy !req
407. I WON'T BORE YOU
WITH THE DETAILS.Copy !req
408. - I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE NOW,
GLENDA.Copy !req
409. - JACKIE,
YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME.Copy !req
410. I WAS JUST TRYING TO—Copy !req
411. MAYBE YOUR DAD'S RIGHT.Copy !req
412. MAYBE I'M NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.Copy !req
413. - LISTEN, YOU TWERP.Copy !req
414. I AM TIRED OF YOUCopy !req
415. STICKING YOUR FINGER IN YOUR EAR
AND SMELLING IT.Copy !req
416. I'M TIRED OF YOU
DRINKING OUT OF MY BIDET.Copy !req
417. I AM TIRED OF YOU—Copy !req
418. - BOY, YOU'RE QUITE
A CLEAN FREAK FOR A GARBAGEMAN.Copy !req
419. - I'M NOT A GARBAGEMAN.Copy !req
420. - PIZZA'S HERE.Copy !req
421. - YOU CAN'T HAVE PIZZA
DELIVERED HERE.Copy !req
422. THIS PLACE IS SECRET.Copy !req
423. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE
WANT TO KILL ME?Copy !req
424. AND NOT JUST NARCO-TERRORISTS—
EX-GIRLFRIENDS TOO.Copy !req
425. IT'S GONNA GET COLD.Copy !req
426. thud!Copy !req
427. - SPECIAL DELIVERY.Copy !req
428. LIGHT CHEESE, EXTRA DEATH.Copy !req
429. thud!Copy !req
430. - YOU FORGOT...Copy !req
431. SODA.Copy !req
432. - SO AFTER THIS, I'M FREE.
RIGHT?Copy !req
433. - IF YOU SURVIVE.Copy !req
434. TONIGHT'S A BACHELOR AUCTIONCopy !req
435. FOR THE SUSAN B. ANTHONY
SOCIETY.Copy !req
436. - BRING OUT THE SAUSAGE!Copy !req
437. - THESE WOMEN ARE LITTLE MORE
ROWDY, AREN'T THEY?Copy !req
438. - YEAH,
THEY'RE HERE TO PUNISH MENCopy !req
439. FOR THINGS THAT HAPPENED
100 YEARS AGO.Copy !req
440. - THIS ISN'T PERMANENT.Copy !req
441. YOU'RE ONLY DOING THIS
UNTIL YOU BECOME A DENTIST.Copy !req
442. - WAKE-UP CALL, SWEET CHEEKS,Copy !req
443. I AM A DENTIST.Copy !req
444. - I HATE YOU.Copy !req
445. - JUST ONE QUESTION
BEFORE YOU KILL US, PETRENKO.Copy !req
446. HOW DID YOU FIND ME
WITHOUT YOUR EYEBALLS?Copy !req
447. - ACTUALLY, YOU'VE DONE ME
A GREAT SERVICE, STONE,Copy !req
448. FOR NOW
I HAVE MUCH BETTER EYES—Copy !req
449. ONES OF A JAGUAR.Copy !req
450. - GROSS!Copy !req
451. - ALL THESE YEARS,
I WAS TORMENTEDCopy !req
452. ABOUT HOW I WANTED
TO KILL YOU.Copy !req
453. BUT THEN MY PSYCHIATRIST
SUGGESTED THE WHEEL OF DEATH.Copy !req
454. - RELAX, CONOR.Copy !req
455. THERE'S A 1-IN-12 CHANCECopy !req
456. WE'LL GET PAINLESS DEATH
BY CARBON MONOXIDE.Copy !req
457. - ROUND AND ROUND
THE DEATH WHEEL GOES.Copy !req
458. WHERE IT STOPS, NOBODY—Copy !req
459. OOH!
DEATH BY LIONS!Copy !req
460. I WAS HOPING FOR THAT.Copy !req
461. - HMM.
HMM.Copy !req
462. AH, STUCK AGAIN.Copy !req
463. - WHY COULDN'T HE
JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH?Copy !req
464. - BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT.Copy !req
465. WHAT KIND OF STRIPPER
RUBS FEET?Copy !req
466. - WELL, IT IS KIND OF
A WOMAN'S FANTASY.Copy !req
467. I HAVEN'T HAD A FOOT RUB
IN 40 YEARS.Copy !req
468. - WELL, MAYBE
IF THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FEETCopy !req
469. DIDN'T FEEL LIKE ICE SKATES.Copy !req
470. - WAIT. HOLD ON.Copy !req
471. DAD NEVER RUBS YOUR FEET?Copy !req
472. - IT'S OKAY, DEAR.Copy !req
473. WHAT YOUR FATHER LACKS
IN EMOTIONAL INTIMACY,Copy !req
474. HE MAKES UP FOR
IN CONSUMER GOODS.Copy !req
475. - THERE'S NOTHING
GLENN WOULDN'T DO FOR ME.Copy !req
476. HE RUBS MY FEET
ALL THE TIME.Copy !req
477. - WELL, I'M SURE YOUR FEET
AREN'T AS—Copy !req
478. OH, GOD, THEY'RE THE SAME
AS YOUR MOTHER'S.Copy !req
479. THE TWO OF YOU,
WITH YOUR CLOVEN HOOVES.Copy !req
480. - I LOVE YOU, DADDY,Copy !req
481. BUT I SHOULD HAVE
STOOD UP FOR GLENNCopy !req
482. A LONG TIME AGO.Copy !req
483. - HONEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?Copy !req
484. - I'M GOING AFTER
MY SO-CALLED MAN.Copy !req
485. - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
486. I'M NOT TOUCHING THOSE CLEATS.Copy !req
487. - LISTEN, KID, BEFORE WE DIE,
THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.Copy !req
488. THANKS FOR TRYING TO GET ME
TO QUIT SMOKING.Copy !req
489. IN MY LINE OF WORK,
I DON'T MAKE MANY FRIENDS.Copy !req
490. AND, WELL,
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSONCopy !req
491. WHO'S EVER REALLY CARED.Copy !req
492. - WOW.Copy !req
493. I USED TO THINK
SMOKING WAS COOL.Copy !req
494. BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY COOL?Copy !req
495. SHARING EMOTIONS.Copy !req
496. - YEAH, BUDDY,
IT IS PRETTY COOL.Copy !req
497. - SORRY.
I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS TO DIE.Copy !req
498. SO ANY LAST REQUESTS?Copy !req
499. - YES.Copy !req
500. A CIGARETTE.Copy !req
501. - FAIR ENOUGH,
MY WORTHY ADVERSARY.Copy !req
502. HERE YOU ARE.Copy !req
503. NO!Copy !req
504. I'LL REGRET IT
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.Copy !req
505. - YEAH, KID,
THAT'S, LIKE, FIVE MORE SECONDS.Copy !req
506. - CONOR, I REALLY THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEACopy !req
507. IF YOU LET ME
HAVE THIS CIGARETTE.Copy !req
508. - DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
509. - OH, COME ON!Copy !req
510. - DA, CUT HIM SOME SLACK.Copy !req
511. YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN
A VERY STRESSFUL LINE OF WORK.Copy !req
512. - NO!Copy !req
513. thud!Copy !req
514. - SEE, IT WAS A TONGUE-ACTIVATED
MICRO PISTOL.Copy !req
515. - OH, RIGHTEOUS!Copy !req
516. HEY, DRAKE,
NOW THAT WE'RE FRIENDS,Copy !req
517. IS IT OKAY
IF I MAKE IN MY PANTS?Copy !req
518. - NO.Copy !req
519. - SORRY.Copy !req
520. THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY YES.Copy !req
521. - I THINK MY LOVE AS RARECopy !req
522. AS ANY SHE BELIED
WITH FALSE COMPARE.Copy !req
523. DRAKE, OLD BOY,
GLAD TO SEE YOU IN GOOD HEALTH.Copy !req
524. TA-TA.Copy !req
525. thud!Copy !req
526. - I GUESS IT PAYS
TO KNOW THE ROPES.Copy !req
527. - GO ON, DELIGHT US.Copy !req
528. - WELL, LET ME SEE
WHAT I CAN CONJURE UP.Copy !req
529. - OH, GROSS!Copy !req
530. - I KNEW IT WOULDN'T LAST.Copy !req
531. - AND NOW,
HE'S THE FOOT-RUBBING DUDECopy !req
532. WITH A COWBOY ATTITUDE,Copy !req
533. HONCHO!Copy !req
534. - $1,000.Copy !req
535. - $1,500.Copy !req
536. - $1,500.
DO I HEAR $1,600?Copy !req
537. $1,600.Copy !req
538. - $1,700.Copy !req
539. - JACKIE!Copy !req
540. - $1,800!Copy !req
541. - $1,900!Copy !req
542. - $4,000 AMERICAN.Copy !req
543. I BET THOSE SELDOM-USED MUSCLES
ARE AS TENDER AS VEAL.Copy !req
544. - $4,000 TO THE CREEPY CANNIBAL
IN THE THIRD ROW.Copy !req
545. GOING ONCE.Copy !req
546. - JACKIE, PLEASE!Copy !req
547. - GLENN, THE KIDS
HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE.Copy !req
548. BESIDES, WHO KNOWS
IF HE'S A REAL CANNIBAL?Copy !req
549. crunch!
- THESE EARS ARE DELICIOUS.Copy !req
550. - GOING TWICE.Copy !req
551. - $5,000.Copy !req
552. - WHOA!Copy !req
553. SOLD TO THE BIG GAY BEAR
IN THE BACK!Copy !req
554. - DAD?Copy !req
555. - WHITEY?
OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
556. THE NUMBER OF TIMES
I'VE HAD THIS NIGHTMARE.Copy !req
557. - PUMPKIN, I'VE ALWAYS
BOUGHT YOU WHAT YOU WANTED.Copy !req
558. AND IF GLENN IS WHAT YOU WANT,
THEN SO BE IT.Copy !req
559. - OH, DADDY!Copy !req
560. MWAH!Copy !req
561. - COME ON, SON.Copy !req
562. - SON?Copy !req
563. HUH, THAT'S GONNA TAKE
SOME GETTING USED TO.Copy !req
564. - NO, IT WON'T.Copy !req
565. I'M NEVER GONNA SAY IT AGAIN.Copy !req
566. - FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req