Glenn Martin, DDS 1x15

1. - THAT'S ME, GLENN MARTIN, FATHER, DENTIST, LOVER,

2. AND DENTIST.

3. SO WE CAN GROW CLOSER.

4. WELL, THAT, AND I BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

5. SO IT'S ME, MY WIFE, JACKIE—

6. SHE'S THE SWEETEST— OH!

7. OUR SON, CONOR, THE LADIES' MAN,

8. HIS SISTER, COURTNEY—

9. WE'LL ALL BE WORKING FOR HER ONE DAY.

10. IN FACT, HER ASSISTANT WENDY ALREADY IS.

11. OOH, CAN'T FORGET CANINE.

12. HE'S GOT A GIANT... HEART.

13. WANT TO HEAR US WHISTLE?

14. crunch! - OOH!

15. - GOT IT.

16. - GOT IT.

17. - GOT IT.

18. - GOT IT.

19. - I LOVE TIMES LIKE THIS,

20. - PAPER CUT?

21. - YEAH.

22. JACKIE, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

23. - PAPER CUT? - YEAH.

24. KIDS, YOUR FATHER AND I NEED TO TALK PRIVATELY.

25. - RUSS NERO'S BEEN PAROLED.

26. HE'S GONNA COME AFTER US.

27. - LET'S THINK RATIONALLY.

28. SURE, HE'S A SERIAL KILLER,

29. BUT THERE'S PROBABLY

30. BEFORE YOU.

31. - YEAH, YEAH. YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

32. DEAR GOD, HE'S HERE ALREADY!

33. - COMING THROUGH.

34. IN THE COURTNEY CO. BREAK ROOM?

35. - IT'S NOT YOUR BREAK ROOM; IT'S MY WORKOUT ROOM.

36. - NO, IT'S MY X-RAY ROOM.

37. - HEY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEDROOM!

38. - SPEAKING OF WHICH,

39. FOR A SEXUAL HARASSMENT SUIT.

40. DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

41. - AND NOT WHAT YOU USUALLY DO.

42. - UGH. I NEED MY OWN PLACE.

43. I'M A TEENAGE MAN.

44. - RUSS NERO? WHO'S HE?

45. TREATED LONG AGO.

46. CERTAINLY NOT A SERIAL KILLER.

47. THAT'S FOR DARN TOOTIN'.

48. I EVER CUT CORNERS ON,

49. BUT I HAD TO.

50. IT WAS THE DAY CONOR WAS BORN.

51. UH-HUH.

52. THERE'S A TEENY CRACK IN YOUR MOLAR.

53. - OH, THAT'S FROM CHEWING ON A BABY'S BONE.

54. FIX THEM PRETTY.

55. FOR WHEN I MEET JESUS IN HEAVEN.

56. - THE HEAVEN?

57. OKAY, I'LL PUT IN A CAP.

58. DEATH CHAMBER; THIS IS GLENN.

59. REALLY?

60. RUSS, GREAT NEWS!

61. ISSUE ME A REPRIEVE?

62. - EVEN BETTER.

63. MY WIFE'S HAVING A BABY!

64. I'LL BE AT THE HOSPITAL AS SOON AS I CAN, HONEY.

65. click!

66. NORMALLY, I'D SEAL THE TOOTH TO PREVENT INFECTION,

67. BUT SINCE HEAVEN'S MOSTLY DENTISTS ANYWAY,

68. A LITTLE CHEWING GUM.

69. THERE YOU GO.

70. GOOD AS NEW.

71. NOTHING STICKY.

72. IF HE ASKS FOR TAFFY, GIVE HIM BROTH.

73. AND I GOT THERE JUST IN TIME.

74. squish!

75. - OH, MY GOD, HE'S BEAUTIFUL.

76. - THAT'S THE PLACENTA.

77. - EW.

78. squish!

79. - EW! ANOTHER PLACENTA.

80. - NO, GLENN, THAT'S YOUR SON.

81. - AW.

82. - SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM—

83. I MEAN, ASIDE FROM THE PART WHERE CONOR WAS BORN?

84. - WELL...

85. - OKAY. click!

86. JUST GAVE YOU A REPRIEVE.

87. I HATE HER!

88. - THANKS TO MY SHODDY DENTISTRY, INFECTION SET IN,

89. LOST ALL HIS TEETH.

90. - NO!

91. - AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

92. - BORING.

93. SOME SIMPLE PRECAUTIONS.

94. I AM NOW...

95. ANTONIO.

96. I MAKE-A THE PIZZA PIE.

97. - LET'S JUST THINK THIS THROUGH.

98. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG THAT DAY.

99. THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD.

100. - YEP, NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT.

101. WANT ME TO TAKE A POLYGRAPH?

102. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD,

103. BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ADMISSIBLE IN COURT.

104. - ARE YOU SWEATING? - NOT OUT OF GUILT.

105. IT'S BECAUSE OF NERO.

106. ONCE A KILLER, ALWAYS A KILLER.

107. - HEY, NERO,

108. BEFORE YOU GO,

109. WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO REMEMBER US BY.

110. whack! smack! smack!

111. crunch!

112. IS THE SWEETEST PARTY.

113. I'M SURE GONNA MISS YOU SO-AND-SOs.

114. - OH, RUSS, YOU SPENT 13 YEARS IN THE HOUSE OF CORRECTION.

115. NOW LOOK AT YOU.

116. YOU'RE CORRECTED.

117. - HERE COME THE WATERWORKS.

118. WARDEN, VERNE, LOCO,

119. GROUP HUG.

120. OH. - OH, NERO.

121. COULD BE GINGIVITIS.

122. OR MAYBE THE PROBLEM IS...

123. YOU'RE RUSS NERO!

124. TAKE OFF THIS HIDEOUS MASK, NERO.

125. - GLENN!

126. TO BE GROPED AND INSULTED.

127. TO MY INSURANCE COMPANY,

128. THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS.

129. - THAT'S THE FIFTH PERSON TODAY

130. YOU'VE ACCUSED OF BEING RUSS NERO.

131. WE CAN'T KEEP LIVING IN FEAR.

132. I'VE BEEN THINKING.

133. FACE-TO-FACE.

134. AND A RENDERING PLANT.

135. - MAKE PEACE? THAT MAKES SENSE.

136. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE RUSS NERO!

137. NEXT TIME, DO YOUR HOMEWORK, NERO!

138. DOESN'T HAVE CROW'S-FEET.

139. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

140. WE SHOULD TAKE I-95?

141. TAKE SERVICE STREETS?

142. - WHAT'S WITH THE FECES-SMEARED HORSE TRAILER?

143. HORSE TRAILER;

144. BACHELOR PAD.

145. - CONOR, BUYING REAL ESTATE IS NOT FOR THE NAIVE.

146. THERE'S INSPECTIONS—

147. THE DOWN PAYMENT.

148. THIS SOCK FULL OF CHANGE.

149. - SOLD.

150. I'LL EVEN THROW IN THIS DEAD HORSE.

151. - A TRAILER AND A DEAD HORSE?

152. PINCH ME!

153. - PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME, RUSS.

154. I'M SORRY ABOUT NOT FIXING YOUR TEETH.

155. I'M SORRY ABOUT NEVER GOING BACK TO CHECK ON YOU.

156. I'M SORRY ABOUT SAYING

157. WAS JUST DYNASTYSET IN PRISON.

158. - OH, IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE, DR. MARTIN.

159. - REALLY?

160. YOU DON'T WANT TO HOLLOW ME OUT AND USE ME AS A CANOE?

161. - NOW, GRANTED,

162. MUCH EMBARRASSMENTSHIP,

163. 'CAUSE YOU WANTED

164. YOUR CHILD BEING BIRTHIFICATED.

165. - WOW.

166. PRISON'S TURNED YOU INTO A SOFTIE.

167. - OH, I GIVE MOST OF THE CREDIT TO THE GOOD BOOK HERE.

168. - THE BIBLE?

169. OF JUDY BLUME.

170. HAD A VERY SMALL SELECTION.

171. THAT A GIRL'S FIRST MENSES

172. FOR HER?

173. - WOW, JUDY BLUME.

174. I HAVEN'T READ THOSE BOOKS SINCE COLLEGE.

175. QUITE AN IMPRESSION ON ME.

176. BLUBBER, SHEILA THE GREAT,

177. AND, OF COURSE, FUDGE

178. SUPERFUDGE, DOUBLE FUDGE, ET AL.

179. - WOW, YOU REALLY ARE A CHANGED MAN.

180. - THE MIRACLE OF CONFESSION.

181. OF A FOURTH GRADE NOTHING,

182. AND I PARAPHRASETH,

183. "THE ONLY WAY FUDGE

184. PETER'S TURTLE."

185. - CONFESSION REALLY HELPED YOU, HUH?

186. WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE

187. I'VE BEEN TOO ASHAMED TO TELL ANYONE,

188. AND IT'S BEEN GNAWING AT ME FOR YEARS.

189. OH, I HATE YOU.

190. I HATE YOU. smack!

191. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

192. - HEY, DOC, HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE IN FOR?

193. - COUPLE MORE HOURS.

194. THE BABY'S GOT YOUR HEAD.

195. - OH, YOU'RE OUT OF ICE CHIPS.

196. I'LL GET MORE.

197. THAT'S WHEN I VERY EASILY

198. TO FIX YOUR TEETH.

199. FOR A LITTLE LIGHTER FARE.

200. - YEAH, WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 2.

201. WHAT A CRAP FEST.

202. YOU'D HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT TO THINK A DEAD GUY WAS ALIVE.

203. IN THE BOOK.

204. - WAIT.

205. SOME LOUSY BRATPACK MOVIE?

206. - ANDREW MCCARTHY WAS BRATPACK,

207. WAS OUTER CIRCLE, AT BEST.

208. WHOO, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH BETTER I FEEL NOW.

209. WELL, GOT TO GO.

210. WE DON'T NEED THESE SECURITY BARS ANYMORE.

211. I'M TELLING YOU,

212. RUSS IS A CHANGED MAN.

213. HE COULD NOT HAVE BEEN NICER.

214. clang!

215. - WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 2?

216. - ARE YOU THERE, RUSS?

217. IT'S ME, MARGARET.

218. YOU NEED TO LET IT GO.

219. - YEAH, RUSS, LET IT GO.

220. - SHUT UP, FATTY!

221. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, RUSS.

222. - DENTIST!

223. I'M MAKING AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE YOU!

224. - HERE'S YOUR LAUNDRY.

225. SINCE YOU MOVED OUT, I—

226. I DON'T SEE YOU ANYMORE.

227. - MA, I'LL BE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

228. AND I STILL USE THE BATHROOM.

229. TO HAVE A NICE MOBILE HOME,

230. HORSE TRAILER TRASH.

231. - WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

232. THE HIDDEN POTENTIAL?

233. PRICED TO SELL,

234. FROM UNDER OUR NOSES.

235. - LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

236. smack!

237. - JACKIE, LOOK WHO IT IS, OUR FRIEND RUSS.

238. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

239. - I'VE COME TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

240. YOU'RE TOO LATE.

241. MY MOTHER-IN-LAW BEAT YOU TO IT.

242. - I'VE HAD TIME TO PONDER YOUR MALFEASANCE.

243. YOU DESTRUCTIFIED MY TEETH, FOOL.

244. - BIRTH OF CONOR, YEAH.

245. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S TELLING US WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW.

246. - DENTIST, YOU TOOK AWAY WHAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME.

247. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU.

248. WE'D DIE TOGETHER, JACKIE.

249. WITH ME BEHIND THE WHEEL.

250. - OH, I'M NOT GONNA TAKE AWAY YOUR LIFE.

251. I'M GONNA TAKE AWAY YOUR DENTAL PRACTICE.

252. - YOU CAN'T DO THAT. THAT'S MY DREAM.

253. - AND JUST AS FUDGE'S DREAM

254. WAS CRUSHED IN SUPERFUDGE,

255. SO SHALL YOURS.

256. OH, YAY! OH, YAY!

257. ROT!

258. SOUNDS THE SAME;

259. TWO DIFFERENT MEANINGS.

260. THAT'S CALLED A HOMONIACAL.

261. - GLENN, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

262. - WE'RE GONNA FIGHT BACK, MARTIN-STYLE,

263. AS FAST AS WE CAN.

264. COME ON, KIDS.

265. - LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

266. - BOSTON. PHEW.

267. WE'RE SAFE NOW.

268. - BOSTON BEANTONIANS, BEWOE!

269. THANKS TO GLENN MARTIN,

270. TO MASTICATE.

271. - HEY, I'M JUST RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR TEETH, BUDDY.

272. GOES TO BED IS UP TO YOU.

273. AMERICA'S CANADA.

274. PEARLY-TOOTHED KILLER.

275. NOW?

276. FROM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED.

277. YOU WERE SO HANDSOME.

278. SHAME ON YOU, DR. MARTIN.

279. CANCEL MY APPOINTMENT.

280. - YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

281. - HOW ABOUT FRIDAY AT 4:30?

282. - GREAT. - CANCEL IT.

283. - DUMPERVILLE, U.S.A.

284. THE NAME OR THE SMELL?

285. - WHAT'S WRONG?

286. YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING?

287. - NO, JUST PUTTING IN A CHARMING ROOFTOP ZEN GARDEN.

288. THANK YOU, DESIGN ON A DIME.

289. BY 20%.

290. THAT PROPERTY.

291. WE'LL PAINT IT, PARK IT NEAR A TRENDY SMOOTHIE SHOP,

292. TO A YOUNG GAY COUPLE.

293. IN REAL ESTATE,

294. THAT'S CALLED SPRUCE, JUICE, BRUCE.

295. - HEY, CONOR, I'LL GIVE YOU 200 BUCKS FOR THE TRAILER.

296. - DONE.

297. pop! hiss!

298. - UGH. - UGH.

299. - FLOSSING, ONLY 10¢.

300. - THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

301. PLEASE, LET ME FIX YOUR TEETH.

302. I WON'T EVEN CHARGE YOU.

303. I'LL JUST DOUBLE-BILL YOUR INSURANCE.

304. - DENTIST,

305. IS YOUR RUINATION.

306. - I BEG YOU, RUSS, PLEASE, BE REASONABLE.

307. - HEAVENS! I'VE BEEN ASSAULTED!

308. crack! thud!

309. - I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS THAT STRONG.

310. GOOD THING I DON'T WORK OUT.

311. - ORDER.

312. MR. NERO

313. CRACKED CRANIUM, RUPTURED SPLEEN,

314. - I LOOKED THAT UP. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.

315. - DR. MARTIN,

316. FOR THIS POOR FELLA'S SUFFERING.

317. AND MY R.V.

318. bang! - SOLD.

319. - MY GOOD NAME?

320. - NOPE. - CRAP.

321. WHERE WILL WE LIVE?

322. UGH.

323. OF YOUR LAST TWO RESIDENCES,

324. WAS SEIZED BY THE COURTS.

325. - AS YOUR NEW LANDLADY, THIS IS NOT LOOKING GOOD.

326. - YOUNG LADY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR ALLOWANCE,

327. FOR LIFE.

328. - WELCOME TO THE BUILDING.

329. DON'T USE THE ZEN GARDEN AFTER 6:00.

330. I MEAN, BESIDES BETRAY A DYING MAN'S LAST WISH?

331. - HONEY, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.

332. YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DID.

333. - YEAH, RIGHT.

334. - YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT PETS.

335. TO LIVE IN.

336. - DR. BERNARD?

337. - HOWDY, MARTINS.

338. ANY OF YOU NEED ANY TOOTHIN'?

339. - TOOTHIN'? YOU'RE NOT A LICENSED TOOTHER.

340. - THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT ON A SILENT PARTNER.

341. SAY, "HI," DR. BERNARD.

342. D-D-D-DON'T SAY "HI." YOU'RE SILENT.

343. - TAKE THE R.V.

344. YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE HOW PROUD I AM OF MY HUSBAND.

345. WHOA! thud!

346. SO HE COULD RUSH TO MY SIDE.

347. - WAIT. SHE DOESN'T KNOW?

348. - KNOW WHAT? - NOTHING.

349. HAVE A GREAT CAREER. OFF YOU GO.

350. - OH, THIS IS RICH.

351. LADY MARTIN, HE CHEATED ON BOTH OF US.

352. SHOOTING MUCUS PLUGS,

353. OF WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 2.

354. - WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S? - TWO.

355. - I KNOW. I KNOW.

356. IMPLAUSIBLE PREMISE, EXECUTED POORLY.

357. - WAIT;

358. THE WORST PAIN OF MY LIFE,

359. WITHOUT ANESTHETIC, PER YOUR REQUEST,

360. YOU WERE NOT GETTING ICE CHIPS?

361. - I GOT YOU ICE CHIPS.

362. PLUS HALF A BOX OF MILK DUDS.

363. - I NEVER GOT ANY MILK DUDS.

364. - OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I THREW THOSE AT THE SCREEN.

365. - FOR 13 YEARS, YOU'VE LED ME TO BELIEVE

366. OF WHEN I WENT INTO LABOR.

367. WHEN THE TRUTH IS,

368. TO SEE WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S?

369. - TWO.

370. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

371. WE'RE A TEAM. REMEMBER?

372. 12 NURSING STUDENTS,

373. FIVE NURSES, AND A NURSE SHARK,

374. BUT YOU KILLED MY TRUST.

375. - DENTIST,

376. YOU LOST YOUR PRACTICE, YOUR R.V.,

377. AND NOW YOUR WIFE.

378. IN THE WORDS OF JUDY BLUME,

379. "IT SEEMS I NOW HOLD

380. FOR FRECKLE JUICE!"

381. - SEE? THIS ISN'T SO BAD.

382. REMOTE, WATER, POOP BUCKET.

383. INTO A HORSE TRAILER YEARS AGO.

384. - I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EVER TRUST YOU AGAIN.

385. - TRUST ME. YOU CAN TRUST ME.

386. UGH. THIS IS ALL RUSS'S FAULT.

387. IF HE'D DONE A BETTER JOB ALLUDING THE AUTHORITIES.

388. I NEED TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

389. - JACKIE, PLEASE.

390. - HERE YOU GO.

391. - "DENTISTRY BY DR. BERNARD.

392. AT DUMPERVILLE."

393. THIS MEANS WAR.

394. - DAD, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING?

395. - 13 YEARS AGO,

396. AND A MAN WHO IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER,

397. AND I LOST EVERYTHING.

398. BUT THAT ENDS TODAY.

399. LIKE SHEILA THE GREAT,

400. OF BEING A FOURTH GRADE NOTHING.

401. IS TO WIN A DANCE CONTEST?

402. - JUST GIVE THIS TO YOUR MOTHER.

403. - IF THIS IS RENT, IT FEELS LIGHT.

404. - WHO IS THIS DR. BERNARD?

405. WORKING WITH RUSS?

406. YOU NEED A TRIPLE ROOT CANAL.

407. IT'LL COST YOU 50 BUCKS.

408. - DR. BERNARD, ARE YOU ASLEEP?

409. - NO, NO, NO.

410. HE'S JUST VISUALIZING THE SURGERIZATION.

411. pop! pop!

412. - JACQUELINE, FROM 1B, RIGHT?

413. YOUR ROOMMATE LEFT THIS FOR YOU.

414. - "GONE TO FIX RUSS NERO'S TEETH.

415. "IF HE KILLS ME, FEEL FREE TO DELETE ALL MY PROJECT RUNWAYS.

416. LOVE GLENN." OH, MY GOD!

417. KIDS, YOUR POOR FATHER. CONOR, FULL SPEED.

418. - YOU KNOW, THIS REALLY OPENS THE PLACE UP.

419. I THINK WE CAN RAISE THE RENT.

420. - OH, THE PAIN.

421. SAID HE WAS MARRYING A SHIKSA.

422. - PAIN? YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN.

423. YOUR TEETH COULD LOOK LIKE THIS.

424. - RUSS NERO, PREPARE TO GET MARTINIZED.

425. WHOA!

426. - WELL, LOOK AT WHO DROPPED IN.

427. - ALL RIGHT, NERO,

428. IT'S TIME WE SETTLED THIS FACE-TO-FACE.

429. - I'VE HAD IT WITH MOBILE DENTISTS!

430. - WHOA!

431. NERO, I'M HERE TO FIX YOUR TEETH

432. AND GET MY FAMILY'S HOME BACK,

433. EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.

434. DR. BERNARD, AS A PROFESSIONAL COURTESY,

435. I'LL ALLOW YOU TO LEAD.

436. I'VE CREATED TO TORMENT YOU.

437. WILL BE OF A MOVIE YOU DESPISE.

438. - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

439. IS THIS MAKING ANY SENSE TO YOU, BERNARD?

440. - YOU FOOL!

441. - OH, DR. BERNARD! RIGHT IN THE SPINAL CORD.

442. FOR A FEW MINUTES.

443. MIGHT BE HARD AS WELL.

444. - DR. BERNARD IS DEAD!

445. DON'T YOU GET IT?

446. I'M TORMENTING YOU.

447. ALL YOU WANT.

448. I DESERVE IT.

449. BUT LEAVE BERNARD OUT OF THIS.

450. I LOOKED HIM IN THE EYE,

451. HE'S A GOOD MAN.

452. - CAPITULATE, DENTIST.

453. - NOT IF IT'S THE LAST WORD I LEARN.

454. crash!

455. smash!

456. BERNARD! I KNEW YOU'D COME AROUND.

457. THERE'S NO STRONGER BOND

458. WHO'VE NEVER MET.

459. NOW THIS MIGHT HURT,

460. YOU HAVE 28 EXPOSED NERVES.

461. GOOD THINKING, BERNARD.

462. DRIVE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

463. THE COPS. GOOD JOB!

464. YOU CAN PULL OVER NOW.

465. BERNARD?

466. - OH, NO.

467. IN DUMPERVILLE TOWNSHIP,

468. BUT NOT IN UNINCORPORATED DUMPERVILLE.

469. - HELLO, 911?

470. I'D LIKE TO REPORT— OH, MY GOD!

471. HEY!

472. smash!

473. - DON'T BE EMBARRASSED, BERNARD.

474. I JUST DID THE SAME THING.

475. splash!

476. OH, GLENN.

477. splash!

478. GLENN!

479. - JACKIE, I'M SORRY.

480. TO WIN YOUR TRUST BACK.

481. WHERE'S BERNARD?

482. splash!

483. OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE.

484. - THERE'S THE S.O.B. WHO MOONED US.

485. HE'S TRYING TO GET AWAY!

486. - NO!

487. DON'T YOU QUIT ON ME, BERNARD.

488. WE'RE GONNA

489. LIKE WE ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT.

490. zoom! smash!

491. slap!

492. OKAY, I'M CALLING IT.

493. TIME OF DEATH: 4:31.

494. THERE.

495. PERFECT TEETH,

496. 13 YEARS AGO.

497. - BUT I'M NOT GUILTY THIS TIME.

498. - ACCORDING TO THE LAW, YOU ARE.

499. OF DR. WEEKEND A. BERNARD II.

500. - IT'S NOT EVEN A REAL NAME.

501. AND HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME.

502. - DON'T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE.

503. IT DIDN'T WORK IN THE MOVIE,

504. AND THERE'S NO WAY IT COULD WORK IN REAL LIFE.

505. HONEY, I'M SORRY MY SECRET PUT US THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE.

506. - OH, ALL HUSBANDS AND WIVES KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.

507. - LIKE WHAT?

508. - LIKE AFTER YOU FALL ASLEEP, I STEAL YOUR PILLOW.

509. YOUR ORANGE JUICE,

510. AND ONE OF THE KIDS ISN'T YOURS.

511. - IS IT WENDY? - YES.

512. I WASN'T POSITIVE YOU KNEW THAT.

513. - WELL, IT'S NO SECRET THAT I LOVE YOU.

514. smooch!

515. HONEY, IN THIS LIGHT, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

516. - WE GOT A BURNER!

517. - NOW THAT'S AN ENDING WORTHY OF JUDY BLUME.