Glee 1x9

1. So here's what you missed last week

2. Quinn's pregnant You're off the cheerios

3. .. and everyone thinks that Finn's the father...

4. but really its Puck

5. but Quinn thinks he's a lime-a-loser and doesn't want anything to do with him.

6. Somethin' else..

7. Also, Kurt told everybody he's gay including his dad..

8. Who's actually kinda cool about it..

9. Thanks for telling me, Kurt

10. .. and that's what you missed on...

11. GLEE!

12. You shouldn't do this to yourself.

13. Do what?

14. I know how much it hurts to be off the team.

15. You're just torturing yourself watching them.

16. I needed a good distraction.

17. From what?

18. $685?

19. That's how much a sonogram costs.

20. This is just the beginning.

21. There's going to be more doctor's visits,

22. Vitamins, new clothes for when I explode.

23. What are we going to do?

24. What are you going to do?

25. I'm looking for a job.

26. I mean, no one's hiring.

27. I almost got in at olive garden,

28. But they said I was too tall to be a busboy.

29. Somewhere in that pea brain of yours is a man.

30. Access him and tell him to prove to me

31. That I chose the right guy to have a baby with.

32. I will.

33. I-I'll find a job.

34. You can count on me, I swear.

35. Where you going?

36. You were right.

37. This does hurt too much.

38. My blog has lit up with comments

39. Suggesting you don't have a shot at nationals

40. Since you lost Quinn Fabray.

41. No, the cheerios are stronger than ever.

42. We're gonna take nationals with this routine.

43. Mediocre.

44. Hit the showers.

45. I have several sources reporting

46. Quinn didn't want to leave,

47. But you kicked her out because of the pregnancy scandal.

48. Well, jacob, this is ohio.

49. And in order to win, my cheerios need

50. To appeal to that panel of judges.

51. So if I have a pregnant girl doing a handspring into a double layout,

52. The judges aren't going to be admiring her impeccable form,

53. They're going to be wondering if the centrifugal force

54. Is going to make the baby's head start crowning.

55. Oh, and by the way, all this— off the record.

56. Probably should have told you that earlier.

57. This isn't fair.

58. Is it fair that I had to stop providing the baseball team

59. With protective cups?

60. I only get a certain amount of dollars a year

61. To spend, Wiliam.

62. Yeah, but Artie is...

63. Is used to overcoming challenges.

64. He'll just have to find his own ride to sectionals.

65. That handi-capable bus costs $600 a week to rent.

66. We can't afford it.

67. Oh, but there's enough money in the budget

68. To fly the cheerios all over the country for their competitions?

69. Sue Sylvester has boosters that write fat checks.

70. None of her travel expenses come out of the school budget.

71. Look, when I was in the glee club,

72. The best part of the competitions

73. Was the bus ride to the event.

74. It was about camaraderie and supporting each other.

75. You think I feel good about this?

76. Well, my students won't stand for it.

77. That's very moving, but my hands are tied, Shue.

78. If you want that bus, you're going to have to find a way

79. To pay for it yourself.

80. What about Target?

81. Tried. Not hiring.

82. Another doctor bill came to my parents' house last night, Finn.

83. We're lucky that I'm clever and intercepted it.

84. But we have to start paying these doctor's bills

85. Or they're going to go to a collection agency

86. And then my parents are going to find out that I'm with child.

87. Your child.

88. All right, guys.

89. We're doing a new number for sectionals.

90. I know that pop songs

91. Have sort of been our signature pieces,

92. But I did a little research on past winners,

93. And it turns out that the judges like songs

94. That are more accessible.

95. Stuff they know.

96. Uh, standards,

97. Broadway.

98. "defying gravity"?

99. I have an ipod shuffle dedicated exclusively

100. To selections from Wicked.

101. This is amazing.

102. Think you can handle it, Rachel?

103. It's my go-to shower song.

104. It's also my ringtone.

105. Why do we have to go all vanilla on this song?

106. See, what we need

107. Is my chocolate thunder.

108. Okay, we don't have time to rearrange a song

109. For you, mercedes. Rachel is singing it.

110. Don't worry, we'll find something for you

111. To dip in chocolate.

112. On to item two.

113. The school won't pay for the special bus we need

114. To take Artie and his wheelchair with us to sectionals.

115. W-w-what?

116. That's completely unfair.

117. So we're going to have to raise money to pay for it ourselves.

118. See, when I was in glee club,

119. And we needed new silk cummerbunds for regionals,

120. We held a bake sale.

121. You're joking, right?

122. I mean, bake sales are kind of bougie.

123. So hip people stopped eating delicious sugary treats?

124. It's not that.

125. It's most of us don't know how to bake.

126. I find recipes confusing.

127. My family is fully committed to takeout.

128. Yeah, Mr. Shue, kids are busier than when you went here.

129. We've got homework and football and teen pregnancy, lunch.

130. Can't Artie's dad just take him?

131. I can't believe how insensitive you're all being.

132. Are you a team?

133. Of course.

134. But Artie understands, don't you, Artie?

135. Oh... Of course.

136. It's cool.

137. Anything that takes away our time from rehearsing

138. Doesn't serve the team.

139. Let me help you out, buddy. Thank you.

140. Hey, I'm really sorry about how they all reacted, Artie.

141. Oh, it's okay. I'm used to it.

142. They just don't get it.

143. Can I use the auditorium this afternoon

144. To rehearse, Mr. Shue?

145. Some of the band equipment's in there.

146. Sure.

147. ~~ on the floor of Tokyo-o ~~

148. ~~ or down in London town to go-o ~~

149. ~~ with the record selection with the mirror reflection ~~

150. ~~ I'm dancing with myself ~~

151. ~~ when there's no one else in sight ~~

152. ~~ in a crowded lonely ni-ight ~~

153. ~~ well, I wait so long for my love vibration ~~

154. ~~ and I'm dancing with myself ~~

155. ~~ I'm dancing with myself ~~

156. ~~ I'm dancing with myself ~~

157. ~~ well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove ~~

158. ~~ and I'll be dancing with myself ~~

159. ~~ if I looked all over the world ~~

160. ~~ and there's every type of gi-irl ~~

161. ~~ but your empty eyes seem to pass me by ~~

162. ~~ and leave me dancing with myself ~~

163. ~~ so let's sink another drink ~~

164. ~~ 'cause it'll give me time to thi-ink ~~

165. ~~ if I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance ~~

166. ~~ and I'll be dancing with myself ~~

167. ~~ oh, dancing with myself ~~

168. ~~ oh, dancing with myself ~~

169. ~~ oh, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove ~~

170. ~~ I'll be dancing with myself ~~

171. ~~ oh, dancing with myself ~~

172. ~~ oh, dancing with myself ~~ (music fades out)

173. ~~ oh, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove ~~

174. ~~ and I'll be dancing with myself. ~~

175. I have something I'd like to say.

176. I want to audition for the Wicked solo.

177. Kurt, there's a high "F" in it.

178. That's well within my range.

179. Well, I think Rachel's going to be fine

180. For the female lead, but I'm happy to have you

181. Try out something else, Kurt.

182. And we'll make sure it's got a killer high note.

183. You tried. Anyway,

184. I wanted to say something to you guys.

185. I was a little disappointed at how you were all so willing

186. To take the bus to get to sectionals

187. And make Artie drive by himself with his dad.

188. We're a team, guys.

189. We're in this glee club together.

190. Artie doesn't care.

191. His dad drives him everywhere.

192. I do care.

193. It kind of hurt my feelings.

194. We didn't think you would take it personally.

195. Well, you're irritating most of the time,

196. But don't take that personally.

197. I don't know if you guys really understand

198. How much harder Artie has to work just to keep up.

199. Preach.

200. We're riding to sectionals together

201. Or we're not going at all.

202. And to pay for the bus, we're having a bake sale.

203. Bake sale... St. Ignatius nursing home

204. Was having a tag sale,

205. And my av club friends here agreed to help out.

206. For the next week,

207. Each of you is going to spend three hours a day

208. In a wheelchair.

209. Oh, oh, oh.

210. And we're doing a wheelchair number.

211. Billy Idol: ~~ on the floors of Tokyo-o ~~

212. ~~ or down in London town to go-go ~~

213. ~~ with the record selection and the mirror's reflection ~~

214. ~~ I'm dancing with myself ~~

215. ~~ well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove ~~

216. ~~ well, I'm dancing with myself ~~

217. ~~ oh, oh, oh. ~~

218. I didn't even know we had a home rec room.

219. What's all this?

220. Ingredients for cupcakes

221. For the stupid bake sale.

222. What's this?

223. It's what I have left over from my pool cleaning money.

224. After I bought dip and nunchakus.

225. I was getting that you kinda need money.

226. For our kid.

227. For my kid.

228. 18 dollars.

229. How much has Finn given you?

230. Just stop.

231. I told you before,

232. I don't care if that baby comes out with a mohawk,

233. I will go to my grave swearing it's Finn's.

234. It would be pretty awesome if it came out with a mohawk.

235. You are such an egghead.

236. I'm not.

237. (squealing) ah!

238. That was perfectly measured!

239. There you go!

240. What the hell?

241. We're baking.

242. I can see that.

243. I'm gonna go change.

244. Where's my jelly creme center?

245. Sorry, dad, I must've forgotten.

246. What's up with your brain today?

247. You know, I think it's going soft

248. From all that crap you put in your hair.

249. It's organic and I'm fine.

250. I'm sorry, it's a glee club thing.

251. It's not about a guy, is it?

252. 'cause I'm not ready to have that conversation.

253. Oh, at least you don't have to worry about me

254. Getting someone pregnant. (chuckling)

255. It's not a guy.

256. We're doing this amazing song for sectionals,

257. A personal favorite of mine,

258. And Mr. Schuester won't give me a chance to sing it.

259. Why?

260. It's traditionally sung by a girl.

261. Well, you sing like a girl.

262. You know, in a good way.

263. Look, Kurt, I don't know

264. How this music stuff works.

265. I'm pretty exclusively committed to my mellencamp collection

266. But isn't there more crossover nowadays?

267. You know, chicks doing construction,

268. Guys wearing dress shoes with no socks?

269. Didn't that girl from your high school

270. Just join the boy's wrestling team?

271. (whistle blowing) yes!

272. Whoo!

273. Yes, but her parents had to Sue the school.

274. This is really getting you down, isn't it?

275. I'm full of ennui.

276. So, it's really getting you down?

277. Yes.

278. You can't discriminate against my kid because of his sex,

279. Religion, political affiliation

280. Or the fact that he's queer as a three dollar bill.

281. And I won't accept it.

282. This isn't academics

283. Or athletics, Mr. Hummel.

284. It's an arts program and Mr. Schuester's

285. Judgments are subjective.

286. You put on a blindfold and listen to my kid sing,

287. And you will swear you're hearing Ronnie Spector.

288. Wait. Don't try to backpedal on this, Schuester.

289. I was just going to agree with you.

290. I know this is going to be hard on you, Rachel,

291. But I can't, in good conscience,

292. Preach about the importance of helping Artie

293. And then reject Kurt's request out of hand.

294. So, you're giving him my part?

295. Now, I can't just give him the part.

296. That would be just as wrong, but I can let him audition.

297. What do you mean, like a tryout?

298. All right, that seems fair.

299. This is totally unfair. You gave me the part.

300. And I will give it to you again

301. If you can sing the song better than Kurt.

302. Okay, this seems like a reasonable deal.

303. But how do I know this isn't just some show

304. To stop me from taking a flamethrower

305. To this place?

306. Who's going to judge?

307. Now, all of you are going to judge,

308. And in the spirit of full access,

309. Each of you is going to get a vote.

310. Whatever singer has the most votes,

311. Gets the part.

312. This isn't going to be about talent, Mr. Schuester.

313. It's going to be a popularity contest.

314. Stop right there. Mr. Shue, if I may.

315. We all know I'm more popular than Rachel.

316. And I dress better than her.

317. But I want you all to promise me that you're

318. Going to vote for whoever sings the song better.

319. Raise your right hand.

320. Your right hand, brittany.

321. It's this one. Sorry.

322. Repeat after me.

323. I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better.

324. I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better.

325. It's on.

326. All right, guys.

327. Maybe one of these days you'll find a way to create

328. Teaching moments without ruining my life.

329. Shue, I saw all your kids in wheelchairs

330. And I was very impressed.

331. Well, thank you, principal Figgins,

332. But actually, it's made me realize that there's only

333. One wheelchair entrance in this school

334. And it's all the way on the far end of campus.

335. Mckinley needs ramps.

336. No way. Those are what I call

337. "lazy makers."

338. They discourage our able-bodied students

339. From getting their proper exercise by using the stairs.

340. What is she doing here?

341. Yes, what am I doing here?

342. I have a cheerios routine to polish

343. That's gonna clinch us nationals.

344. I brought you two in here

345. Because both of you have a point.

346. Handicapped ramps are expensive,

347. But inspiration is free.

348. Will, I'm so inspired by your stunt that I'm insisting

349. That Ms. Sylvester do the same with the cheerios.

350. I beg your pardon?

351. Cheerios is not accessible, Sue.

352. It's by invitation only.

353. I want to see a squad

354. That reflects our community's diversity.

355. Now, glee club held open auditions.

356. And everyone got in.

357. Now that Quinn Fabray

358. Is off the squad, you will hold open auditions

359. To fill her slot

360. And Mr. Schuester

361. Will monitor them to make sure

362. That they are fair to all.

363. Okay, let me break this down for you here.

364. There comes a point

365. When you've got to stop seeing people for what they look like,

366. And ask them to show you what they can do.

367. And as soon as a cheerleader

368. Rolls herself out onto the field in a wheelchair,

369. She becomes decidedly less effective at cheering people up.

370. It's just a fact.

371. No, Sue, the fact is you've never given other students

372. The fair shake that they deserve.

373. I'm asking you to try it.

374. What do you have to lose?

375. Maybe somebody at this school will surprise you.

376. Cupcake?

377. These cupcakes suck. That's why we're not selling any.

378. It's not about the cupcakes. It's about us.

379. Nobody wants to buy from losers.

380. We're in glee club and in wheelchairs.

381. She has a point.

382. Six months ago I could've sold

383. 50 of these things on fear alone.

384. Oh, my god. What is she doing?

385. I actually think they're kind of friends.

386. Brittany is always cheating off her test papers in math class.

387. See, so many?

388. And look how pretty they are, Becky.

389. Wow.

390. Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair.

391. I lost it.

392. Are you a cheerleader?

393. It's so cool.

394. So is buying a cupcake.

395. That's really cool.

396. But I don't have any money.

397. That's okay, I have some.

398. Thanks.

399. So, how much do we have now?

400. Well, with this one dollar, we have... One dollar.

401. This is ridiculous.

402. Well, maybe if we put a jelly bean or something

403. On top we'd sell more. Are you an idiot?

404. How am I supposed to trust you to take care of our baby

405. When you can't even figure out how to sell a damn cupcake?

406. Stop attacking me. I'm sick of it.

407. Get a job.

408. I'm trying!

409. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here.

410. You just call a name, they come in and try out.

411. Just give them a chance to express themselves.

412. I'm about to projectile express myself

413. All over your hush puppies.

414. Mckinley, hey, hey.

415. Mckinley, hey, hey.

416. No.

417. No.

418. You're not serious, are you?

419. Tell me you're not serious.

420. No.

421. No friggin' way, jacob.

422. Freak!

423. Okay, I've been at this for an hour, that's all I promised.

424. Sue, there's just one more person on the list.

425. Give her a shot.

426. Becky Johnson!

427. Jackson. Jackson.

428. (sotto voce): Be nice, Sue.

429. I heard that you're doing a routine with jump ropes.

430. I wanted to show you what I can do.

431. Becky, I'm going to stop you right there.

432. You're in.

433. Be at practice tomorrow at 4:00 p.M.

434. Congratulations.

435. What are you up to, sue?

436. I'm just following orders, Will.

437. I'm doing what I was told.

438. And I found myself a brand-new cheerio.

439. You're up to something.

440. I don't like this, sue!

441. (bell ringing) I'm just saying, she has a point.

442. You are kind of an idiot.

443. Nice support, dude.

444. Whatever happened to bros before hos?

445. You've got a baby on the way, bro.

446. And you haven't done spit to take care of it.

447. Like you'd do any different?

448. Damn straight. How?

449. Nobody's hiring.

450. Sell your Xbox, rob a bank,

451. Go all Robin Hood on this joint, whatever it takes.

452. (wheelchairs cLanging) all I ever hear is you

453. Whining and crying about how hard this is on you.

454. What about her?

455. Dude, you are so out of line!

456. You don't know what I'm dealing with!

457. All I know is that you're a punk

458. Who doesn't deserve to have Quinn as his girlfriend.

459. You're a punk!

460. Hey, hey, break it up!

461. Break it up!

462. Come on!

463. Hey! He started it.

464. I don't care!

465. Now...

466. You-you guys are best friends.

467. What the hell is going on?

468. I'm just really stressed about the bake sale.

469. I really like Artie, okay?

470. You okay?

471. The key to a double turn is to just go for it.

472. You push with the right wheel and pull as hard as you can

473. With the left, and find a spot on the wall to spot you,

474. So you don't get dizzy.

475. Okay, guys, take five, all right?

476. Oh, remember to show up early on Thursday.

477. It's Rachel versus Kurt

478. For the big solo.

479. Careful.

480. Respect the chair.

481. I really admire you, Artie.

482. I had no idea how difficult this was.

483. It's just like you with your stutter.

484. You don't really notice it after awhile.

485. Ho-ho-how did it happen?

486. You don't talk about it.

487. My mom and I got in a really bad car accident

488. When I was eight.

489. And she was fine, but I've been in the chair ever since.

490. But I want to be very clear—

491. I still have the use of my penis.

492. (phone ringing) excuse me a second.

493. Hummel tire and lube.

494. Yeah. Who is this?

495. Your son's a fag.

496. Hey, dad.

497. What the hell is wrong with this machine?

498. I hit it, the high "f."

499. The magical note I need for "Defying Gravity."

500. I hit it.

501. It means I'm going to win.

502. That's great. Good for you.

503. Just how long till the damn coffee's ready?

504. What's going on?

505. I got a phone call this morning.

506. The anonymous kind.

507. It was some dude telling me my son was a fag.

508. Oh.

509. Well, that's not a big deal.

510. I get that all the time.

511. Yeah, but I don't.

512. Now look, Kurt, I...

513. I try to do right by you— you know, open some doors.

514. What father wouldn't do that for his kid?

515. And I know it's good for you

516. To be out there with all this glee club stuff.

517. I just... I don't want you to get hurt.

518. So you don't want me to audition for the solo?

519. No, no, let me be clear, all right?

520. No one pushes the Hummels around.

521. Especially cowards on the phone.

522. Sometimes I just... I wish your mom was still around, you know?

523. She was better

524. At handling this kind of thing, you know, handling me.

525. Well, congrats on, uh...

526. You know, the cool "A" or the high "C"

527. Or whatever. High "F".

528. Yeah.

529. There's your problem. You just had a bad push rim.

530. Good as new.

531. Thanks, Finn.

532. You're the only one who's willing to help me.

533. I'm really nervous about the diva-off tomorrow.

534. Don't be.

535. I don't want to win out of charity.

536. I want to win the solo because it's right for the club.

537. I really think that the judges at sectionals

538. Will find a female version of "Defying Gravity"

539. Much more accessible.

540. But I don't think that's going to happen.

541. People just don't like me.

542. Yeah, you might want to work on that.

543. But I like you.

544. We need to talk.

545. I'll get out of your way.

546. No, you stay. I need a witness.

547. Do you know what this is?

548. Oh, it's just a past due notice.

549. My mom gets them all the time.

550. Right, but if this sonogram bill doesn't get paid,

551. It's not your phone that's going to get cut off.

552. You will get cut off.

553. You need to help me with this, Finn.

554. Or else we're going to go our separate ways.

555. I'm screwed.

556. Not necessarily.

557. I know, I know, I know, I know.

558. Hey. Hey, guys. Hey, guys, this is amazing.

559. Hi.

560. Puck found his nana connie's old recipe.

561. They're addictive. Do you want one?

562. No, no, thanks.

563. Don't want to take one away from a paying customer.

564. Yeah, no, sure.

565. Hey, nice work, buddy.

566. These are so good.

567. This isn't Nana Connie's old recipe.

568. She couldn't cook at all.

569. She was a diabetic, so the only sweets she had in her house

570. Was dried fruit.

571. I knew I had to do something

572. To help Quinn out with our baby.

573. I don't know what kind of stuff you need

574. For a baby that's still in your stomach—

575. Bottles, diapers, that kind of thing, I guess.

576. But my baby mama was going to get it all.

577. To make sure that happened,

578. I used the two things I know the most about—

579. Lying and crime.

580. Is there a lot of pain, Noah?

581. (sobbing): The doctor said the shark fractured my spinal cord.

582. This is why I don't go to the aquarium.

583. I'm going to give you as much as you want,

584. 20 cents on the dollar.

585. I don't put in enough to get you hallucinating,

586. Just enough to give you a wicked case of the munchies.

587. That's why they keep coming back for more.

588. See, I told you I'd make a great dad.

589. Faster.

590. Harder.

591. Those better be

592. Tears of joy, Becky.

593. Faster! Harder!

594. Okay, stop.

595. Becky, this is terrible.

596. I tried, coach.

597. This is really hard.

598. You think this is hard?

599. Try auditioning for Baywatch

600. And being told that they're going in another direction.

601. That was hard.

602. Hit the showers.

603. Thanks, coach.

604. Hi.

605. Sue, you are unbelievable.

606. And you are a terrible spy.

607. You might try breathing through your nose sometime.

608. If you were a sniper,

609. I would have already radioed in your coordinates.

610. Just like in the Falklands.

611. I'm not going to let you bully that girl, Sue.

612. Oh, I bully everybody, will.

613. It's the way I roll.

614. Yeah, but this is different.

615. She's not like everybody else.

616. I want you to listen to what you just said, William.

617. You're asking me to treat this girl differently

618. Because she has a disability.

619. When actually, it seems to me,

620. She just wants to be treated like everybody else.

621. Why are you doing this?

622. Because I know you.

623. And you're up to something.

624. You don't know the first thing about me.

625. Good luck.

626. (quietly): I'm rooting for you.

627. All right, welcome to the glee club's

628. First official diva-off.

629. Let's get this party started.

630. ~~ something has changed within me ~~

631. ~~ something is not the same ~~

632. ~~ I'm through with playing by the rules ~~

633. ~~ of someone else's game ~~

634. ~~ too late for second-guessing ~~

635. ~~ too late to go back to sleep ~~

636. ~~ it's time to trust my instincts ~~

637. ~~ close my eyes and leap... ~~

638. ~~ it's time to try defying gravity ~~

639. ~~ I think I'll try defying gravity... ~~

640. ~~ kiss me good-bye, I'm defying gravity ~~

641. ~~ and you won't bring me down ~~

642. ~~ I'm through accepting limits ~~

643. ~~ 'cause someone says they're so... ~~

644. ~~ some things I cannot change ~~

645. ~~ but till I try I'll never know... ~~

646. ~~ too long I've been afraid of ~~

647. ~~ losing love I guess I'd lost... ~~

648. ~~ well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost... ~~

649. ~~ I'd sooner buy defying gravity... ~~

650. ~~ kiss me good-bye, I'm defying gravity... ~~

651. ~~ I think I'll try defying gravity ~~

652. ~~ and you won't bring me down ~~

653. ~~ I'd sooner buy defying gravity... ~~

654. ~~ kiss me good-buy, I'm defying gravity... ~~

655. ~~ I think I'll try defying gravity ~~

656. (voice cracking): ~~ and you won't bring me down... ~~

657. (singing perfectly): ~~ bring me down ~~

658. ~~ oh, oh, oh, oh... ~~

659. ~~ oh. ~~

660. Good job, Kurt. Good job.

661. Hey, wait up.

662. I cracked open the piggy bank.

663. It's for you.

664. Well, it's for it.

665. It is a she.

666. Cool.

667. I told you I wasn't a deadbeat.

668. Look, Puck, this is really sweet, but...

669. I can get more.

670. People call me a screw-up because...

671. I think school's for suckers, but I got ambition.

672. I can get us a house.

673. Some stuff.

674. Furniture.

675. We could be a family.

676. Finn is your best friend.

677. He'd be pissed for a while.

678. But then he'd realize he doesn't have to deal with all this.

679. He'd bake me a damn cake.

680. You stole from the cupcake fund.

681. No, I didn't.

682. Fine, I did.

683. I made all those cupcakes.

684. I'm all about being a team player,

685. But my family comes first.

686. I get it.

687. And I'm sorry.

688. I should have never called you a lima loser.

689. You're not.

690. You're special and a romantic

691. And a good enough person

692. To realize that we are not going to take money

693. From a friend in a wheelchair.

694. Hey.

695. Here.

696. What's this?

697. I got a job.

698. Excuse me.

699. Are you the manager? Yes.

700. You need to hire my friend Finn.

701. He is clearly handi-capable and refusing to hire him

702. Could be seen as discrimination.

703. My dads are gay and unless you want the full force

704. Of the American Civil Liberties Union coming down on you,

705. I'd work something out.

706. I'm going to need to stay in my wheelchair

707. As long as I'm working there,

708. But screw it, it's worth it.

709. Can I give you a lift to rehearsal?

710. 1200$. That's enough for the show bus

711. And two cases of Natty Light for the ride home.

712. Oh, dream on, buddy.

713. I'm very proud of you guys.

714. Artie...

715. Why don't you bring this to principal Figgins yourself?

716. All right, Artie! Artie!

717. What's wrong, dude?

718. I really appreciate what you guys did for me,

719. But I'm not the only kid in a wheelchair at this school.

720. And I'm sure there will be others after I graduate.

721. And I know how important it is for all of us to go

722. To sectionals together,

723. But I think I'd rather just get a ride from my dad

724. And use this for a handicapped ramp in the auditorium.

725. Any objections?

726. Well, sure beats having to carry him in every day.

727. You think she has a brain tumor?

728. That can cause erratic behavior.

729. All I know is that she walked in unannounced

730. And she wrote me a check for three new handicapped ramps.

731. I just don't get it.

732. I mean, first putting Becky in cheerios, now this.

733. What is her angle?

734. Why ask why?

735. Just enjoy the fact that you're getting your bus after all.

736. How's she doing? Great.

737. She asks about you.

738. She's been watching you on tv.

739. I need to get here more often.

740. Oh, you get here plenty.

741. Jean?

742. Your little sister's here to see you.

743. Hey, sue! Hi. Hi, honey!

744. My sister is famous.

745. You got that right.

746. I got something for you.

747. What's this?

748. Wow! A pom-pom! Thank you.

749. That's for you.

750. What do you feel like doing today?

751. Can we read today?

752. Look what I have!

753. Little Red Riding Hood!

754. Right. Your favorite book.

755. Want to start at the beginning?

756. Yes. All right.

757. You ready?

758. Ready.

759. "once upon a time,

760. "there was a little girl who lived in the forest.

761. "whenever she went out, the little girl

762. "wore a red riding cloak,

763. "so everyone in the village

764. Called her little red riding hood."

765. Right? Right.

766. Oh, no!

767. Oh, you're so much faster!

768. You can't keep up?

769. I can't. This is so hard. No.

770. (groans) no f-f-fair!

771. You have eight years of practice!

772. Excelling at wheelchair races is about my only advantage.

773. It's like your stutter.

774. It's mostly just a big hassle.

775. This has been a really fun date.

776. But I want to get out of this chair.

777. Why?

778. So I can do this.

779. I have to tell you something.

780. I've been faking it.

781. Faking what?

782. I don't have a stutter.

783. I pretended to have one in sixth grade

784. Because I didn't want to give a speech

785. On the Missouri compromise.

786. I was really shy,

787. And it made people think I was weird,

788. So they left me alone.

789. And it wasn't until I joined glee club that I realized

790. How much I was missing.

791. And I don't want to push people away anymore.

792. You understand what that's like, don't you?

793. No, I don't.

794. I would never try to push people away

795. 'cause being in a chair kind of does that for you.

796. I thought we had something really important in common.

797. Wait, Artie. I'm sorry.

798. I am, too.

799. I'm sorry now you get to be normal

800. And I'm going to be stuck in this chair the rest of my life.

801. And that's not something I can fake.

802. Hey, dad.

803. What are you doing?

804. I'm making biscuits. What does it look like I'm doing?

805. How did the tryout go?

806. They gave the part to Rachel.

807. I knew they were going to rig it.

808. I'm going down to that school and I'm talking to Schuester.

809. I blew the note.

810. I wanted to lose.

811. Kurt, I stuck my neck out for you,

812. And you go and you throw the game?

813. Dad, I've known who I was since I was five.

814. I adapted.

815. Being different made me stronger.

816. And at the end of the day,

817. It's what's going to get me out of this cow town.

818. You never had to do that.

819. I can handle myself just fine.

820. No, you can't.

821. Not about this.

822. That phone call yesterday was just the beginning.

823. Especially if I get up in front of a thousand people

824. To sing a girl's song.

825. When I saw you right after you got the call,

826. And you were so hurt

827. And so upset...

828. It just killed me.

829. I'm not saying I'm going to hide in the closet.

830. I'm-I'm proud of who I am.

831. I'm just saying that I love you more than I love being a star.

832. You are your mother.

833. You know, she was always the strong one.

834. Look, uh,

835. You want to help me put a 195 on this bad boy, huh?

836. Let me change into my coveralls.

837. This sweater's an Alexander McQueen.

838. ~~ rollin' ~~

839. ~~ rollin' ~~

840. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

841. This one's for you, Artie!

842. ~~ left a good job in the city ~~ ~~ down in the city ~~

843. ~~ working for the man every night and day ~~

844. ~~ and I never lost ~~

845. ~~ one minute of sleeping ~~

846. ~~ I was worrying about the way that things might have been ~~

847. ~~ big wheel keep on turning ~~

848. ~~ ooh, the proud Mary keep on burning ~~

849. ~~ and we're rolling ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

850. ~~ rollin', yeah ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

851. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

852. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

853. ~~ so I left a good job in the city ~~

854. ~~ working for the man every night and day ~~

855. ~~ and I never lost one minute of sleeping ~~

856. ~~ worried about the way things might have been ~~

857. ~~ big wheel keep on turnin' ~~

858. ~~ turnin' ~~

859. ~~ proud Mary keep on burnin' ~~

860. ~~ burnin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

861. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

862. ~~ yeah ~~ ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

863. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

864. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

865. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ yeah ~~

866. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

867. ~~ da, do-do-do ~~

868. ~~ da, do-do-do ~~

869. ~~ da, do-do-do ~~

870. ~~ ba-da, da-ba, yeah ~~

871. ~~ ba-da, da-ba, yeah ~~

872. ~~ ba-da, da-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ~~

873. ~~ yeah ~~

874. ~~ if you come down to the river ~~

875. ~~ bet you gonna find some people who live ~~

876. ~~ you don't have to worry if you have no money ~~

877. ~~ people on the river are happy to give ~~

878. ~~ big wheel keep on turnin' ~~ ~~ yeah ~~

879. ~~ proud Mary keep on burnin' ~~ ~~ burnin' ~~

880. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

881. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

882. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

883. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ rollin' ~~

884. ~~ rollin' ~~ ~~ yeah ~~

885. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

886. ~~ rollin' on the river ~~

887. ~~ ba-da, da-ba, yeah, ba-da, da-ba, yeah ~~

888. ~~ ba-da, da-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ~~

889. ~~ hey! ~~ ~~ yeah! ~~