1. Dad. You're home early.Copy !req
2. Deadliest Catch is on.Copy !req
3. - What are you wearing?
- It's a unitard.Copy !req
4. Guys wear them to, uh, work out nowadays.Copy !req
5. Do sports.
They wick sweat from the body.Copy !req
6. F-F-Football.Copy !req
7. Yeah, all the guys in football wear 'em.
They're jock-chic.Copy !req
8. Totally. Kurt's on the football team now.Copy !req
9. He's the kicker.
That's the smallest guy on the field, right?Copy !req
10. Yeah. Ye...Copy !req
11. Brit and Tina were just helping me
with some conditioning work.Copy !req
12. Hmm. Really?Copy !req
13. You know, I played in J.C.
before I busted up my knee...Copy !req
14. poppin' wheelies on my dirt bike.Copy !req
15. Cool. I guess we'll have something
to talk about then.Copy !req
16. So one of you two his girlfriend?Copy !req
17. But I'm not ready
to be exclusive just yet.Copy !req
18. Hmm.Copy !req
19. All right, just keep the music down.Copy !req
20. I can't hear myself think up there.Copy !req
21. Hey, Kurt.Copy !req
22. Be sure to get me a ticket
to your first game.Copy !req
23. You're doing great, baby.
Just keep breathing.Copy !req
24. No, no, no.Copy !req
25. Giving birth is not like
how it is in the movies.Copy !req
26. It is bloody and bestial...Copy !req
27. and you get poop
all over your cowboy boots.Copy !req
28. - Well, I'm just trying to be supportive.
- Well, this isn't about you.Copy !req
29. I'm sorry, Kendra.
When was I making it about me?Copy !req
30. You have to be liked, Will.Copy !req
31. You're nice and supportive
and you avoid conflict.Copy !req
32. Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon
out of her boy-howdy...Copy !req
33. in five months.Copy !req
34. She doesn't need nice. She needs Dolomite.Copy !req
35. - I can be tough.
- Of course you can, sweetie.Copy !req
36. Okay, why don't you come on down here.Copy !req
37. I'm gonna show you how to rub the gas bubbles
out of your wife's stomach.Copy !req
38. - Oh, no, wait.
- Oh, no, no. You'll like it. Phil still does it to me.Copy !req
39. - It feels great.
- I don't want him touching my stomach.Copy !req
40. - I mean, maybe he would bruise the baby.
- Oh.Copy !req
41. Yeah. Honey, would you make me a B.L. T?Copy !req
42. Sure. Uh... Um,
it's gonna take a few minutes though.Copy !req
43. - That's okay.
- Okay, be right back.Copy !req
44. Make me one too. But hold the tomato.Copy !req
45. - Okay.
- And the lettuce.Copy !req
46. - Okay.
- I can't do this.Copy !req
47. Don't worry about it.
You're gonna have an epidural.Copy !req
48. I'm just making it sound worse than it is
to make him feel guilty.Copy !req
49. And then you have him by the balls
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
50. Kendra, if I told you something, would you
promise not to tell anybody, not even Phil?Copy !req
51. Oh, my God. Is the baby black?Copy !req
52. No.Copy !req
53. - The doctor said it's a hysterical pregnancy.Copy !req
54. I can't tell Will. I can't.Copy !req
55. He already has one foot out the door.
This baby's the only reason he's still here.Copy !req
56. What do you think
he's gonna do when he finds out you lied?Copy !req
57. Oh, God, I don't know.
I gotta tell him the truth.Copy !req
58. I've gotta tell him,
and I've gotta deal with the consequences.Copy !req
59. - Are you insane?
- What?Copy !req
60. Dishonesty is food to a marriage.
It will die without it.Copy !req
61. - Oh, Kendra.
- Stop being so emotional.Copy !req
62. - Okay.
- The solution is clear.Copy !req
63. We're gonna have to get you a baby.Copy !req
64. Hey, guys.Copy !req
65. - I hope I'm not intruding.
- No. Not at all.Copy !req
66. Oh, um, so get this.Copy !req
67. You know how I'm kind of like
a local news junkie, right?Copy !req
68. - Isn't that kind of depressing?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
69. It's kind of like a horror film, you know.Copy !req
70. It's drug recalls and poison toys.
Africanized bees... that was terrible.Copy !req
71. That's because disasters freak you out
yet fascinate you at the same time, sweetie.Copy !req
72. So you like the local news
because this way you can experience them...Copy !req
73. from the safety of your condo.Copy !req
74. Anyway... Yeah, um, they just finished
this story on this zoo mauling...Copy !req
75. and, um, you'll never guess
who came on next.Copy !req
76. Well, let's see what's going on now...Copy !req
77. with the local champion cheerleading coach,
Sue Sylvester...Copy !req
78. in a brand-new segment
we call "Sue's Corner."Copy !req
79. - Take it away, Sue.Copy !req
80. Thanks, Rod, Andrea.Copy !req
81. You know, caning has fallen out of fashion
in the United States.Copy !req
82. But ask anyone who's safely walked
the immaculate sidewalks of Singapore...Copy !req
83. after winning an international
cheerleading competition...Copy !req
84. and they'll tell you one thing:Copy !req
85. caning works.Copy !req
86. And I think it's about time
we did a little more of it right here.Copy !req
87. And to all those naysayers out there
who say, "That's illegal.Copy !req
88. You can't strike children on their bare buttocks
with razor-sharp bamboo sticks."Copy !req
89. Well, to them I say, yes, we cane.Copy !req
90. And that's how Sue sees it.Copy !req
91. They gave her a segment on the local news?Copy !req
92. - Mm-hmm.
- Why?Copy !req
93. Because being a local celebrity
who's been written up twice...Copy !req
94. on the sports page of USA Today
has its perks, William.Copy !req
95. Hey, pal, you wanna pull
that chair out for me?Copy !req
96. My hand's still sore from signing autographs
down at the Donut Hole...Copy !req
97. this morning.Copy !req
98. Brought you some holes I couldn't finish.Copy !req
99. And, uh, F.Y. I...
the overnights were through the roof.Copy !req
100. You don't know what that means, do you?Copy !req
101. Overnights.
Well, that's lingo for overnight ratings...Copy !req
102. which shows us leading
among 18 to 49-year-olds...Copy !req
103. making WOHN western Ohio's
number one local newscast.Copy !req
104. - Wow.
- "Wow" is the word, Alma.Copy !req
105. You know, I wasn't always in the spotlight.Copy !req
106. But I didn't wanna end up
stuck at a lousy high school...Copy !req
107. wrestling with mental illness.Copy !req
108. Or 40 and single...Copy !req
109. coaching the worst football team
in the history of our state.Copy !req
110. Or having to go to the salon every week
to have my hair permed.Copy !req
111. I didn't wanna have to do that to myself.Copy !req
112. So I sent out my résumé,
and I am so happy to tell you...Copy !req
113. that I am busting out of my box.Copy !req
114. I'd love to stay and chat,
but I got a satellite interview.Copy !req
115. That's lingo, again, for an interview...Copy !req
116. via satellite.Copy !req
117. - E-Excuse me. This-This isn't the right key.
- It's actually the right key.Copy !req
118. - This is the alto part.
- Yep. Tina's doing the solo.Copy !req
119. I'm-I'm sorry.
There must be some sort of mix-up.Copy !req
120. I thought I made it very clear that anything
from West Side Story goes to me.Copy !req
121. Maria is my part.Copy !req
122. Natalie Wood was a Jew, you know.Copy !req
123. I've had a very deep, personal connection
to this role since the age of one.Copy !req
124. Well, I'm trying to shake things up a bit,
get us out of our boxes.Copy !req
125. - You're trying to punish me.
- I think you're being irrational.Copy !req
126. I think you're being unfair.Copy !req
127. I think you're being unfair to Tina...Copy !req
128. who might have been happy
about getting her first solo.Copy !req
129. Tina knows how much I respect her,
and I think she would agree with me...Copy !req
130. that she's not ready
for such an iconic role as Maria.Copy !req
131. Wait. I'm a Jet?Copy !req
132. The more times she storms out of rehearsal,
the less impact it has.Copy !req
133. Congratulations, Tina.Copy !req
134. This is going well.Copy !req
135. Finn? I needed to ask you something.Copy !req
136. Thanks, but I already have a date to the prom.
But I'm flattered.Copy !req
137. I know how important dances are to teen gays.Copy !req
138. - I'm not gay.
- Oh.Copy !req
139. I just... I needed a favor.Copy !req
140. This is not that difficult, gentlemen. Let's go.Copy !req
141. Come on! Let's go!Copy !req
142. Just relax, okay?Copy !req
143. Remember what I told you.
Keep your eye on the ball. Don't try to aim it.Copy !req
144. - Okay, put your helmet on.
- It'll mess up my hair.Copy !req
145. Put your... Put your helmet on, okay?Copy !req
146. - Oh! God, it's...
- Good. Red's your color.Copy !req
147. Thank you for helping me with this, Finn.
You're really cool.Copy !req
148. Well, I figure the more crossover
between Glee and football...Copy !req
149. the easier my life's gonna be.Copy !req
150. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going?Copy !req
151. - To get my music ready.
- What, are you nuts? You can't use that.Copy !req
152. - But we did when we were rehearsing.
- Practicing. No one was around.Copy !req
153. You know how much interference I had to run
with these guys just to get you this tryout?Copy !req
154. If you do it your way,
they're gonna kill you.Copy !req
155. My body is like a rum chocolate soufflé.Copy !req
156. If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise.Copy !req
157. I'm doing this. I'm doing it my way.Copy !req
158. So are you two an item now, or...Copy !req
159. - He doesn't belong here.
- You joined Acafellas. What's the difference?Copy !req
160. I'm a stud, dude. I can wear a dress to school,
and people think it's cool.Copy !req
161. - Everybody take a knee.Copy !req
162. Six games.Copy !req
163. Our kicker, Mr. Langanthal...Copy !req
164. is zero for 12 in field goal attempts.Copy !req
165. As most of you
statistically-minded people know...Copy !req
166. that sucks!Copy !req
167. So Mr. Langanthal...Copy !req
168. will thusly now be in charge
of hydration services.Copy !req
169. The next player that can get a football
between those uprights will get his job.Copy !req
170. Hi. I'm Kurt Hummel,
and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker.Copy !req
171. - That was good, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
172. - It's good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
173. Can you do that with the game on the line...Copy !req
174. and 10 gorillas bearing down on you...Copy !req
175. - who want nothing more than
to taste your sweet virgin blood?
- Sounds like fun.Copy !req
176. - Can I have my music?Copy !req
177. If you kick like that,
you can wear a tutu for all I care.Copy !req
178. Gentlemen, we have found ourselves a kicker!Copy !req
179. More mail for you, Sue. But I think there
might be some hate mail mixed in...Copy !req
180. from your editorial on littering.Copy !req
181. Well, Mr. McClung, your station
didn't hire me because I was yella.Copy !req
182. And not everyone's gonna have the walnuts
to take a pro-littering stance...Copy !req
183. but I will not rest until every inch
of our fair state is covered in garbage.Copy !req
184. That's why I pay taxes.Copy !req
185. It keeps garbage men earning a living...Copy !req
186. so they can afford tacos for their family.Copy !req
187. Fantastic.Copy !req
188. But I'm...Copy !req
189. concerned...Copy !req
190. about your future at WOHN.Copy !req
191. You see, my daughter goes to your school...Copy !req
192. and she says that a lot of the top cheerleaders
are defecting to the show choir.Copy !req
193. You know, it makes me wonder if you're...Copy !req
194. if you're losing all that talent
how you can expect to win nationals.Copy !req
195. See, your segment's all about being
a champion, Sue, a winner.Copy !req
196. So... we need you to win nationals.Copy !req
197. Okay. Uh, thanks a bunch.Copy !req
198. Great work.Copy !req
199. Quinn.Copy !req
200. Quinn.Copy !req
201. Hey, what's with the silent treatment?Copy !req
202. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.Copy !req
203. - I'm pregnant.Copy !req
204. I wasn't sure,
and I really didn't wanna go by myself.Copy !req
205. - I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.
- Mine?Copy !req
206. Yes, you. Who else's would it be?Copy !req
207. - But we... we never...
- Last month. Hot tub?Copy !req
208. Oh, no.Copy !req
209. Oh, no. Oh.Copy !req
210. Think of the mail.
Think of the mail. Think of the...Copy !req
211. - Oh, you killed him! What are you gonna do?
- Oh.Copy !req
212. - But we were wearing our swimsuits.
- Ask Jeeves said a hot tub...Copy !req
213. is the perfect temperature for sperm.Copy !req
214. It helps it swim faster.Copy !req
215. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
216. - Are... Are you gonna get a...
- No.Copy !req
217. I really thought I had a shot
of getting out of here.Copy !req
218. I've been collecting since 1961.Copy !req
219. Now, isn't this just lovely and normal?Copy !req
220. They're my everything.Copy !req
221. - Teatime!Copy !req
222. - Right.Copy !req
223. So, to what do I owe the honor
of your presence?Copy !req
224. Oh, I just thought I'd stop by
and say hello, buddy.Copy !req
225. Boy, the only thing missing from this place
is a couple dozen bodies...Copy !req
226. limed and rotting in shallow graves
under the floorboards.Copy !req
227. Please, have a seat on the casting couch.Copy !req
228. It is so wonderful
to finally have some Sandy time.Copy !req
229. I have my bridge game on Fridays.Copy !req
230. Saturdays, I am fully committed
at the local cat rescue.Copy !req
231. - Sandy. Let's cut the crap.Copy !req
232. I'm living in a cocoon of horror.Copy !req
233. Yesterday I ate nine cans
of aerosol whipped cream.Copy !req
234. - No...
- You...Copy !req
235. Sandy, Sandy. We have similar problems.Copy !req
236. You need to be back in the spotlight.Copy !req
237. I wanna offer you the school's
arts administrator position.Copy !req
238. You will have control
of all the arts programs...Copy !req
239. music, art, drama.Copy !req
240. Wait for it. Glee Club.Copy !req
241. That's impossible.
Figgins will never allow it.Copy !req
242. Oh, don't you worry about Figgins.Copy !req
243. I'm never letting Sandy Ryerson
back in this school.Copy !req
244. - Take a look at this.Copy !req
245. Well, I would hate to think of this video
circulating around the school.Copy !req
246. Better yet, YouTube.Copy !req
247. - Our first order of business is Glee Club.
- Oh!Copy !req
248. I couldn't agree with you more.Copy !req
249. William is running it into the ground.Copy !req
250. And there's one linchpin
holding that group together.Copy !req
251. Rachel Berry. How do we steal her away?Copy !req
252. Hold on to your Easter bonnet, Sandy.
I'm gonna fire four words at you.Copy !req
253. Liza Minnelli. Céline Dion.Copy !req
254. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
255. I am yours.Copy !req
256. - Wow.
- What's next?Copy !req
257. Congratulations, Miss Sally Bowles.
You have just landed the lead.Copy !req
258. - This is a joke.
- William.Copy !req
259. Sandy has never been
formally charged with anything.Copy !req
260. And the fact is, upon further reflection,
my firing of him was rash.Copy !req
261. This is a wonderful thing, Will.Copy !req
262. How many times have you sat in the chair...Copy !req
263. complaining how I don't care
about the arts program?Copy !req
264. This was you.
You have always been out to get me.Copy !req
265. Well, if I was out to get you, I'd have you
pickling in a mason jar on my shelf by now.Copy !req
266. William, take a chill pill.
I'm here to help you.Copy !req
267. Oh, really?
Is that why you stole my best singer?Copy !req
268. An opportunity arose for me
to showcase my talents, and I took it.Copy !req
269. How is that any different from when you
quit Glee to form your boy band?Copy !req
270. Because I didn't do it out of spite.Copy !req
271. I'm offended by that accusation.
I've always been a team player.Copy !req
272. - Just admit it, Mr. Schue.
You don't like me very much.
- That's not true.Copy !req
273. I am your biggest,
and sometimes your only fan.Copy !req
274. Look, I know who I am, okay?Copy !req
275. I know I can be a little abrasive,
bossy and conceited.Copy !req
276. I'm just hurt that you chose to judge me
on that rather than on my talent.Copy !req
277. I know it sounds awful,
but I'm the best one in there.Copy !req
278. I try the hardest, and I want it the most.Copy !req
279. Everyone knows that,
and they're scared of it.Copy !req
280. They all think that they can slack off
because you'll pick up their weight.Copy !req
281. We can't win regionals like that.Copy !req
282. We need everyone to think
that they're a star.Copy !req
283. We're giving everyone a chance
to think they're a star.Copy !req
284. We're providing opportunities.
We're opening doors.Copy !req
285. Find your voice.
Stomp that yard. All that crap.Copy !req
286. - What does she have on you?
- Enough.Copy !req
287. I tried to play nice with you, William.Copy !req
288. But clearly, you prefer to be adversaries.
So be it.Copy !req
289. I'm not quitting Glee.Copy !req
290. I'm just looking for a reason to stay.Copy !req
291. Oh, like me taking the solo away from Tina?Copy !req
292. Everyone on the team
is getting something out of being there.Copy !req
293. You're doing a great job
of getting them out of their shells.Copy !req
294. Except for me. I'm still getting
my lipstick flushed in the toilet.Copy !req
295. I still don't have a boyfriend.Copy !req
296. Tina's great, but...Copy !req
297. why do you have to hurt me
to make her feel good?Copy !req
298. Just come to rehearsal.Copy !req
299. That was great, Tina. Good job.Copy !req
300. You don't have to say that. I was sh-sharp.Copy !req
301. - I c-can't do this.
- Hey, look at me.Copy !req
302. Have you noticed the more confident you are,
the less you stutter?Copy !req
303. Hey. I need you to be great at regionals.Copy !req
304. To do that,
you've got to know that you can do this.Copy !req
305. You have to give this song to Rachel.Copy !req
306. She's better than me.Copy !req
307. And you know she'll quit if you don't.Copy !req
308. I'll just take one for the team.Copy !req
309. Hey, Finn, what's up?Copy !req
310. Hey.Copy !req
311. - It's okay.Copy !req
312. - It's okay.Copy !req
313. Thanks a lot for this, Mr. Schue.Copy !req
314. - I couldn't talk to my mom, you know.
- Yeah.Copy !req
315. So how far along is she?Copy !req
316. I don't know. A couple of weeks maybe.Copy !req
317. It's pretty recent, I guess.Copy !req
318. Well, what do you...
what do you need me to do? You want me to...Copy !req
319. You want me to set you up
with Planned Parenthood?Copy !req
320. No. No. It's not even a conversation.
She's keeping it.Copy !req
321. I've seen the guys around town
who had kids in high school.Copy !req
322. They work here or at the supermarket
or pumping gas or worse.Copy !req
323. They're caged. Got no future.Copy !req
324. I can't become one of those dudes.Copy !req
325. Mr. Schue, I got to go to college.Copy !req
326. But we don't have any money, and...Copy !req
327. I need a football scholarship.Copy !req
328. But the only way I'm gonna get one
is if we start winning.Copy !req
329. I'm not a football coach.Copy !req
330. Remember when we were working
on that Acafella stuff...Copy !req
331. and you helped me and Puck with the dancing?Copy !req
332. - Yeah.
- You loosened us up.Copy !req
333. That's the football team's problem.Copy !req
334. I figured it out
watching Kurt kick those field goals.Copy !req
335. Here. Check this out.Copy !req
336. I got this at the school library.Copy !req
337. Did you know you can just
borrow books from there?Copy !req
338. All of 'em.
Except for the encyclopedias, but...Copy !req
339. It says in here that Walter Payton
was a great dancer.Copy !req
340. In college, he won
dance competitions on Soul Train.Copy !req
341. And he took ballet lessons.Copy !req
342. And he even got the whole Bears team
to take them...Copy !req
343. the year they won the Super Bowl.Copy !req
344. - That's how they came up
with the Super Bowl Shuffle.
- Let me just get this straight.Copy !req
345. You want me to teach
the football team how to dance?Copy !req
346. Uh, I don't think Ken will go for that.Copy !req
347. We'll talk him into it.Copy !req
348. Look, you said you needed guys
for Glee Club, right?Copy !req
349. If you can help us win one game,
they'll start to trust you.Copy !req
350. Then I'm sure some of them will wanna join.Copy !req
351. It's a win-win for both of us.Copy !req
352. Eat up.Copy !req
353. - How far along is she?
- A few weeks.Copy !req
354. It breaks my heart.Copy !req
355. They're both so scared to death, Ter.Copy !req
356. They're just kids. They can't raise a baby.Copy !req
357. Here this poor girl is so ashamed...Copy !req
358. she feels like she can't tell anybody.Copy !req
359. I mean, can you imagine?Copy !req
360. Having to hide something like that.Copy !req
361. All that effort covering that up.Copy !req
362. What did you say her name was? Quinn?Copy !req
363. - Quinn Fabray.
- Oh.Copy !req
364. Oh, and here's the kicker.
She's president of the Celibacy Club.Copy !req
365. This is garbage. What the hell does Beyoncé
have to do with football?Copy !req
366. Why don't you ask Kurt? He seems to be
the only one who can score on this team.Copy !req
367. - Even in practice.
- So we're taking coaching advice
from Lance Bass now?Copy !req
368. - Guys. Guys.Copy !req
369. Athletes are performers
just like singers and dancers.Copy !req
370. And think about it. Jim Brown. Dick Butkus.Copy !req
371. - O.J.
- O.J. Right.Copy !req
372. All pretty tough guys.
All of them had big careers as performers.Copy !req
373. Now, I don't think you guys are losing
because you don't have the talent.Copy !req
374. You're losing
because you don't have the right attitude.Copy !req
375. Oh, I get it. We have to think
more like Amazonian black women.Copy !req
376. Think about it. If you can sing and dance
in front of people, everything else is easy.Copy !req
377. Coach. Please. Step in here.Copy !req
378. I'm down with it.
I mean, heck, what do we got to lose?Copy !req
379. We gave up our pride
when we lost to that school for the deaf.Copy !req
380. - That's true.Copy !req
381. Sun Tzu says in his Art of War
to never let the enemy know you.Copy !req
382. Our greatest weapon
could be the element of surprise.Copy !req
383. Don't tell me that you
wouldn't be on your heels...Copy !req
384. if the other team
started busting a move on the field.Copy !req
385. - Okay, too much talking, not enough stretching.Copy !req
386. In the choir room in full pads in five.
That's five minutes. Let's go.Copy !req
387. - That's good, guys.
Your hips are still a little tight, okay?Copy !req
388. It's just like you're playing football.Copy !req
389. It's all about the lateral movement.
Just stay low and...Copy !req
390. - May I?
- Watch Kurt.Copy !req
391. All right, boys. Five, six, seven.Copy !req
392. Point to the finger. Hip, head.Copy !req
393. Oh! Sneak attack. Back to the ring.Copy !req
394. Comb through the hair. Slap the butt.Copy !req
395. - Okay, that's enough for today, gentlemen.Copy !req
396. We'll... work on it. Just hit the showers.Copy !req
397. Bye, Coach.Copy !req
398. Um, Coach, I don't mean to interject...Copy !req
399. but I think we should end with a show circle.Copy !req
400. What's your problem?Copy !req
401. Nothing. I just got a lot on my mind.Copy !req
402. Seriously, dude, what's going on?Copy !req
403. I'm your best friend. Talk.Copy !req
404. It's personal.Copy !req
405. I knew it. You're in love with Kurt.Copy !req
406. Quinn's pregnant. She's keeping the baby.Copy !req
407. - What's up, MILF?
- Leave me alone.Copy !req
408. Who's the daddy?Copy !req
409. I just think it's kind of weird if it's Finn...Copy !req
410. since you told me
you were a virgin when we did it.Copy !req
411. And I know for a fact
that you didn't do it with him.Copy !req
412. How can you be so sure?Copy !req
413. Finn's my boy. He would've told me.Copy !req
414. You make a habit of sleeping
with your boy's girlfriends?Copy !req
415. Well, call the Vatican. We got ourselves
another Immaculate Conception.Copy !req
416. I'd take care of it, you know.
You too.Copy !req
417. My dad's a deadbeat,
but I don't roll that way.Copy !req
418. Weren't you fired for peeing
in the fast-food fryolator?Copy !req
419. - I've got my pool-cleaning business.
- We live in Ohio.Copy !req
420. I had sex with you
because you got me drunk on wine coolers...Copy !req
421. and I felt fat that day.Copy !req
422. But it was a mistake.Copy !req
423. You're a Lima loser,
and you're always gonna be a Lima loser.Copy !req
424. How many weeks are you?Copy !req
425. From the looks of you,
I'd say no more than five or six.Copy !req
426. I assume you haven't told your parents yet.
I mean, how could you?Copy !req
427. After Daddy bought you this car
so you could drive him to the Chastity Ball.Copy !req
428. - You can't raise this baby, Quinn.
- I'm sorry, but who are you?Copy !req
429. I'm just somebody who wants to help.Copy !req
430. I don't need your help.
Get the hell out of my car!Copy !req
431. Really? What kind of prenatal vitamins
are you taking?Copy !req
432. Yeah.Copy !req
433. Here. Three times a day,
or your baby will be ugly.Copy !req
434. I don't understand.Copy !req
435. What do you want from me?Copy !req
436. W-M-H-S!Copy !req
437. - Um, no. No, here.
- W-M-H-S!Copy !req
438. - Well, at least I know it's clean.
- Yeah.Copy !req
439. Well, I think we, uh,
really came together this week as a team.Copy !req
440. Yeah, a gay team.Copy !req
441. A big gay team of dancing gays.Copy !req
442. Seriously, Finn,
it was fun in practice and all...Copy !req
443. but we can't do that out here
in front of everybody.Copy !req
444. It'll make us even more of a joke.Copy !req
445. - Divert right, 87 on one. Break!
- Break!Copy !req
446. - Yo, Q. B!Copy !req
447. Your mama's so fat, the back of her neck
looks like a pack of hot dogs!Copy !req
448. - Give me some ketchup!
- Down, set, hike!Copy !req
449. - Whoo!
- Punch and Judy on one. Break!Copy !req
450. - Come on!Copy !req
451. - Come on!Copy !req
452. Dad! Dad!Copy !req
453. I told you! I told you!Copy !req
454. Jordan versus Bird on one!
Hut!Copy !req
455. - Run!Copy !req
456. - Aw!
- Cupid tips on one. Break!Copy !req
457. - Time-out!Copy !req
458. - Dude, we got to do it.
- We will be jokes
for the rest of our high school lives.Copy !req
459. We're already jokes.Copy !req
460. I don't wanna be a Lima loser
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
461. Yo, left tackle, your mama's so fat...Copy !req
462. her cereal bowl comes with its own lifeguard,
like Baywatch!Copy !req
463. Hey, ankle grabber,
I had sex with your mother.Copy !req
464. No, seriously. I cleaned your pool.Copy !req
465. And then I had sex with her in your bed.
Nice Star Wars sheets.Copy !req
466. Let's do it, captain.Copy !req
467. Come on. Huddle up. Huddle up.Copy !req
468. Okay, "Ring On It" on three.Copy !req
469. Yeah. All right?Copy !req
470. - Come on. On three. One, two, three, break!
- Break!Copy !req
471. Hut one, two!Copy !req
472. Three! Let's hit it!Copy !req
473. Hike!Copy !req
474. You're up, kid.Copy !req
475. You make this, and we win.Copy !req
476. You make this, and you die a legend.Copy !req
477. Can I pee first?Copy !req
478. He's so little.Copy !req
479. Yes!Copy !req
480. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
481. That is my boy!Copy !req
482. Nighttime skin care is a big part
of my post game ritual.Copy !req
483. I don't know what to say
about that, but, uh...Copy !req
484. I was really proud of you tonight, Kurt.Copy !req
485. I wish your mom would've been there...Copy !req
486. I mean, alive.Copy !req
487. Thanks.Copy !req
488. Dad?Copy !req
489. I... have something that I wanna say.Copy !req
490. I'm glad that you're proud of me.Copy !req
491. But I don't wanna lie anymore.Copy !req
492. Being a part of the Glee Club and football...Copy !req
493. has really showed me that I can be anything.Copy !req
494. And what I am...Copy !req
495. is...Copy !req
496. I'm gay.Copy !req
497. - I know.
- Really?Copy !req
498. I've known since you were three.Copy !req
499. All you wanted for your birthday
was a pair of sensible heels.Copy !req
500. I guess I'm not totally in love
with the idea, but...Copy !req
501. if that's who you are,
there's nothing I can do about it.Copy !req
502. And I love you just as much.Copy !req
503. Okay?Copy !req
504. Thanks for telling me, Kurt.Copy !req
505. You're sure, right?Copy !req
506. - Yeah, Dad. I'm sure.
- Just checking.Copy !req
507. Hey.Copy !req
508. Here. It's my gee-ge.Copy !req
509. This is the baby blanket
my dad got me the day I was born.Copy !req
510. It was the only thing
I had to remember him by.Copy !req
511. I used to cry without it.Copy !req
512. I took it everywhere with me,
so it's a little dirty.Copy !req
513. But I want our baby to have it.Copy !req
514. I'm gonna do everything I can
to be a good father.Copy !req
515. Thank you, Finn.Copy !req
516. Hey, guys. How you doing?Copy !req
517. - Lately I've been getting really sick in the morning.
- Must be a virus.Copy !req
518. Hey, you putting on a little weight?
You should watch your carbs.Copy !req
519. They're not gonna be able to hoist you
to the top of that cheerleading pyramid...Copy !req
520. much longer.Copy !req
521. Hey, don't talk to my girlfriend like that.Copy !req
522. You know what?
You're right. I was out of line.Copy !req
523. See you guys around.Copy !req
524. You know, there's a question
I get asked a lot.Copy !req
525. Whether I'm accepting an honorary doctorate
or performing a citizen's arrest...Copy !req
526. people ask me, "Sue, what's your secret?"Copy !req
527. Well, I'll tell you my secret,
western Ohio.Copy !req
528. Hey, guys, let's give a big Glee welcome
to our three new members...Copy !req
529. fresh off their big win on Friday night...Copy !req
530. Noah Puckerman,
Matt Rutherford and Mike Chang.Copy !req
531. Regionals, here we come.Copy !req
532. Sue Sylvester's not afraid
to shake things up.Copy !req
533. Let's start today with "Tonight"
from West Side Story.Copy !req
534. Tina. Show us what you got.Copy !req
535. You know, I'm tired
of hearing people complain...Copy !req
536. "I'm riddled with this disease"
or "I was in that tsunami."Copy !req
537. To them I say, shake it up a bit.
Get out of your box.Copy !req
538. Even if that box happens
to be where you're living.Copy !req
539. I thought you had Glee practice,
my little multitasking star.Copy !req
540. I quit. I'm yours exclusively.Copy !req
541. I'll often yell at homeless people...Copy !req
542. "Hey, how's that homelessness
working out for you?Copy !req
543. Give not being homeless a try, huh?"Copy !req
544. - Maybe this time in B-flat.
- You know something, Ohio?Copy !req
545. It's not easy to break out
of your comfort zone.Copy !req
546. People will tear you down, tell you you
shouldn't have bothered in the first place.Copy !req
547. But let me tell you something.Copy !req
548. There's not much of a difference
between a stadium full of cheering fans...Copy !req
549. and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you.Copy !req
550. They're both just making a lot of noise.Copy !req
551. How you take it is up to you.Copy !req
552. Convince yourself they're cheering for you.Copy !req
553. You do that, and someday, they will.Copy !req
554. And that's how Sue sees it.Copy !req