1. Here's what you missed
Regionals is coming upCopy !req
2. and Jessie's left the glee
club, and though it seems likeCopy !req
3. which is confusing.Copy !req
4. I think I kind of like her.
I don't want her to get hurt.Copy !req
5. Quinn's preggo and feels like
she's totally alone.Copy !req
6. And Sue won't leave Will alone
as the poor guy's tryingCopy !req
7. to get over divorcing
his terrible wife, Terri.Copy !req
8. I mean, she's not terrible.Copy !req
9. She's just kind of...
you know, terrible.Copy !req
10. Sorry.
And that's what you missed on Glee.Copy !req
11. Is it just me,
or does it feel likeCopy !req
12. we have a real shot at
Regionals next month?Copy !req
13. The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms
have all been buzzingCopy !req
14. about how Vocal Adrenaline
has lost a step.Copy !req
15. I agree— the judges know
all of their tricksCopy !req
16. and now that we have Jessie,Copy !req
17. they've lost
their best performer.Copy !req
18. You guys have to come to the
auditorium— it's an emergency!Copy !req
19. Jessie?Copy !req
20. What are you doing
up there with them?Copy !req
21. I've transferred back
to Carmel High, Rachel.Copy !req
22. I'm sorry that
it's come to this,Copy !req
23. but you guys were awful to me.Copy !req
24. You never accepted me,Copy !req
25. you never listened
to my clearly superior ideas.Copy !req
26. Why are you here
in our auditorium?Copy !req
27. The blogs and the chat rooms
say that we're finished,Copy !req
28. and that you guys are ripe
to topple us.Copy !req
29. We just wanted to show youCopy !req
30. a something we came up with
a few days agoCopy !req
31. to see if you agree
with that assessment.Copy !req
32. Ooh, let's go.Copy !req
33. Thanks for letting us
borrow your auditorium, guys.Copy !req
34. It's quaint.Copy !req
35. It's a Carmel High tradition.Copy !req
36. They psych out the competition
a few weeks before the big show.Copy !req
37. They call it a funkification.Copy !req
38. Meaning they show us
what they've got,Copy !req
39. and we spiral
into a deep black funk.Copy !req
40. Yeah. Yeah, we used to do
the same thingCopy !req
41. to other football teams.Copy !req
42. You know, try and get inside
their head before a big game,Copy !req
43. pull little pranks
to intimidate them.Copy !req
44. Yeah, well, the difference was
our football team sucked.Copy !req
45. Those guys are golden.Copy !req
46. Come on, keep
your heads up, guys.Copy !req
47. It's going to take
more than thatCopy !req
48. to get us into a funk.Copy !req
49. I feel so violated.Copy !req
50. It's like someone
broke into our home.Copy !req
51. Look, it was just
a lame little prank.Copy !req
52. And the fact that they're
trying to get to usCopy !req
53. means maybe we
got them spooked.Copy !req
54. Uh-uh, Mr. Shue.
They aren't afraid of anything.Copy !req
55. That number they did
was fantastic.Copy !req
56. You know, which doesn't
make any sense.Copy !req
57. They had all that equipment.Copy !req
58. How did they even get in?Copy !req
59. I gave 'em all keys.Copy !req
60. Helped them do a sound checkCopy !req
61. over the weekend.Copy !req
62. Hey, this way, fellas.Copy !req
63. Let's punch out this wall here.Copy !req
64. That'll open up the space a little bit.
Sue, what are you doing?Copy !req
65. I can't talk to you now,
William.Copy !req
66. Drafting class is helping me
redecorate around here.Copy !req
67. You see, I have Nationals
over the weekend,Copy !req
68. and I expect to return
with a comically largeCopy !req
69. first place trophy for whichCopy !req
70. I have absolutely no room
in my trophy case.Copy !req
71. As soon as you hurry up
and lose at Regionals,Copy !req
72. this choir room will become
my official trophy annex.Copy !req
73. You know what it
has to look like?Copy !req
74. Elvis' gold record
room at Graceland.Copy !req
75. Except I'll be wanting
far fewer morbidly obeseCopy !req
76. white women waddling
around and crying.Copy !req
77. Sue, get out of my room.Copy !req
78. Glee Clubbers, for you those
of you whose hearingCopy !req
79. has not been damaged by massive
doses of Acutane, listen up.Copy !req
80. In a few weeks,
Glee Club will be finished.Copy !req
81. Now how do I know that?Copy !req
82. Well, I recently checked
the odds with my Vegas bookie,Copy !req
83. who told me that you're 40-1
underdogs at Regionals.Copy !req
84. You are going to lose,
and your dreamsCopy !req
85. will be crushed.Copy !req
86. Sue, can I see your trophy?Copy !req
87. Sure, Will.Copy !req
88. Hope and dream.Copy !req
89. You dropped your trophy, Sue.Copy !req
90. You know, for me,
trophies are like herpes.Copy !req
91. You can try to get rid of them,
but they just keep coming.Copy !req
92. You know why?Copy !req
93. Sue Sylvester has hourly
flare-ups of burning, itchy,Copy !req
94. highly contagious talent.Copy !req
95. Enjoy your last few days here.Copy !req
96. This room is mine.Copy !req
97. So you sign here,Copy !req
98. and here.Copy !req
99. And you sign here and here.Copy !req
100. Well...Copy !req
101. By the power vested in me
by the bar associationCopy !req
102. of the great State of Ohio,Copy !req
103. I know pronounce you
no longer husband and wife.Copy !req
104. Mazel tov.Copy !req
105. You're still that
16-year-old boy to me.Copy !req
106. You always will be.Copy !req
107. All right, guys, today I want
to talk to you about regrets.Copy !req
108. Who has some?Copy !req
109. Giving my heart to Jessie,
just to have it crushedCopy !req
110. like the stage floor
at a performance of Stomp.Copy !req
111. Thinking "trust me" was
a sensible birth control option.Copy !req
112. We all have them.Copy !req
113. I just finalized my divorce.Copy !req
114. I regret
living in a relationshipCopy !req
115. that wasn't working.Copy !req
116. Letting her put me
in these deep funksCopy !req
117. and not fighting back.Copy !req
118. Besides creeping us out,
why are you telling us this?Copy !req
119. Because if we lose to
Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals,Copy !req
120. none of us are
going to regret it.Copy !req
121. We will have given
it our best shotCopy !req
122. and we won't look back.Copy !req
123. But we will regret letting them
get the best of usCopy !req
124. before the competition.Copy !req
125. Which is why we need to hit them
back just like they hit us.Copy !req
126. So you want us
to TP their choir room?Copy !req
127. Whatever the better,
cooler version of that is.Copy !req
128. Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should
steal their school statue.Copy !req
129. Their school statueCopy !req
130. is a giant bronze of a great
white shark eating a seal pup.Copy !req
131. It weighs three tons.Copy !req
132. Okay, how about this one.Copy !req
133. All right, we get like...Copy !req
134. Everyone knows this
is going to come down to me.Copy !req
135. Revenge, fear, the merciless
infliction of pain.Copy !req
136. These are my kingdoms.Copy !req
137. First time I gave a wedgie
to a kid, I was four years old.Copy !req
138. Finn and I may still hate
each other for some reason,Copy !req
139. but we both know that defending
the honor of New DirectionsCopy !req
140. is going to be our dirty job.Copy !req
141. Yeah, I did it.Copy !req
142. And I'm proud. All I did
was step up and be a man.Copy !req
143. They got what was coming
to them.Copy !req
144. A few of my students
TP'd your choir room.Copy !req
145. You slashed the tires
on the Range RoversCopy !req
146. of all 26 of my performers.Copy !req
147. Those were gifts for
our win at Sectionals.Copy !req
148. That's 200 times 26Copy !req
149. times four equals...Copy !req
150. I don't have a calculator.Copy !req
151. I'm sorry, you bought
all your kids Range Rovers?Copy !req
152. We have a very active
booster club.Copy !req
153. Look, nobody got hurt.Copy !req
154. It was a harmless prank.Copy !req
155. That's what they said
about a young man in ChicagoCopy !req
156. in 1871, who thought he'd
play a harmless prankCopy !req
157. on the dairy cow of
one Mrs. O'Leary.Copy !req
158. He successfully
ignited its flatulenceCopy !req
159. and a city burned, William.Copy !req
160. That young terrorist
went on to becomeCopy !req
161. the first gay president
of the United States,Copy !req
162. Abraham Lincoln.
Enough.Copy !req
163. These students
have committed a felony.Copy !req
164. They are hereby expelled.Copy !req
165. Look, I don't want anyone
to get expelled.Copy !req
166. I'm not going
to press charges...Copy !req
167. as long as you pay
for the damage.Copy !req
168. You can take it out
of the glee club budget.Copy !req
169. That'll bankrupt the glee club.Copy !req
170. We don't have that kind
of money.Copy !req
171. We'll get jobs.Copy !req
172. Give us a month.Copy !req
173. We'll pay you back,Copy !req
174. Ms. Corcoran, I promise.Copy !req
175. Fine.Copy !req
176. Ms. Corcoran, you are
as wise and magnanimousCopy !req
177. as you are beautiful.Copy !req
178. Thank you.Copy !req
179. Well, you just can't
win, can you, William?Copy !req
180. You never have,
and you never will.Copy !req
181. Are you want to take a trip down that
rabbit hole, William?Copy !req
182. I'm willing to try
anything, Sandy.Copy !req
183. I'm just really depressed.Copy !req
184. I don't sell to the
clinically depressed.Copy !req
185. You'll throw yourself
off a parking garageCopy !req
186. and I can't have that
on my conscience.Copy !req
187. I used to coach that glee club.Copy !req
188. I know what you're up against.Copy !req
189. You think Carmel High didn't
put the fear of God in me?Copy !req
190. I don't know how we
can possibly beat them.Copy !req
191. Glee is hanging by a thread.Copy !req
192. William, the answer is
right in front of your face,Copy !req
193. but you can't see it
because you're inCopy !req
194. too big of a funk.Copy !req
195. Vocal Adrenaline
has a weakness.Copy !req
196. Funk.Copy !req
197. Use it in a sentence.Copy !req
198. Come on.Copy !req
199. Rachel.Copy !req
200. This cheese smells funky.Copy !req
201. That's because
it's "from-unda" cheese.Copy !req
202. Shut it, Puckerman!Copy !req
203. Okay, okay.Copy !req
204. I was thinking more
along the lines of...Copy !req
205. Vocal Adrenaline has sure
put us all in a funk.Copy !req
206. I'm so depressed, I've worn
the same outfit twice this week.Copy !req
207. What if I told youCopy !req
208. I knew how we could shove it
right back down their throats?Copy !req
209. New Directions is aboutCopy !req
210. to make their funk the P-Funk.Copy !req
211. We are going to get funked up.Copy !req
212. The only way to do that
is to beat them at Regionals.Copy !req
213. Vocal Adrenaline has never once
done a funk number.Copy !req
214. They're a machine,
a collective, synthesized,Copy !req
215. soulless beat.Copy !req
216. Funk is soul meets anger.Copy !req
217. Its passion is in its emotion.Copy !req
218. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't
perform with any.Copy !req
219. So you have your assignment.Copy !req
220. I want you guys
to turn McKinley High into...Copy !req
221. You guys can relax,
I got this one covered.Copy !req
222. Cool.Copy !req
223. Hold on a second.Copy !req
224. I-I want a chance
to get funky, too.Copy !req
225. Good one, Quinn.Copy !req
226. It even sounds funny
when you say it.Copy !req
227. You said funk
was about soul and anger.Copy !req
228. I have plenty of both.Copy !req
229. Look at me. Look at my life.Copy !req
230. I'm furious!Copy !req
231. Let's be honest.Copy !req
232. When white people try
to be funky,Copy !req
233. you end up with KC
and the Sunshine Band.Copy !req
234. I love "Boogie Shoes."Copy !req
235. Mercedes' racism aside,Copy !req
236. I will have something prepared
tomorrow.Copy !req
237. All right, Quinn goes first.Copy !req
238. Rachel, can I see you
in my office?Copy !req
239. You seem to be taking
this Jessie thing pretty hard.Copy !req
240. I want him to be eaten
by a lion.Copy !req
241. Jessie, cared about you.Copy !req
242. No, he didn't.Copy !req
243. Our entire relationship
was just some diabolical plan.Copy !req
244. They knew if they broke my heartCopy !req
245. close enough
to the competition,Copy !req
246. that I'd lose my will to live,Copy !req
247. and then New Directions
would have no chanceCopy !req
248. at winning Regionals.Copy !req
249. It's textbook;
You destroy the heartCopy !req
250. of the team's heart
and you destroy the team.Copy !req
251. Sandy told me how to
beat Vocal Adrenaline,Copy !req
252. and now Rachel was
inadvertently telling meCopy !req
253. how to beat my other nemesis.Copy !req
254. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling
nearly as depressed.Copy !req
255. William, I'm gonna have
to ask you to clear out.Copy !req
256. I received an anonymous
tip from someoneCopy !req
257. who wants to meet me hereCopy !req
258. to discuss
an illegal Hot Cheetos ring.Copy !req
259. Hot Cheetos have been provenCopy !req
260. to raise endorphins,
which makes for happy kids,Copy !req
261. and I can't have that.Copy !req
262. Yeah, no worries, Sue.Copy !req
263. I'll just find
someplace else to...Copy !req
264. Oh, wow.Copy !req
265. What?Copy !req
266. It-it's nothing.Copy !req
267. It's just... it's just the way
the light hit youCopy !req
268. just now, you looked stunning.Copy !req
269. No, you're radiant.Copy !req
270. Well, the week before Nationals
every year,Copy !req
271. I have a placenta maskCopy !req
272. right after a rigorous session
of microdermabrasion.Copy !req
273. Well, whatever you're doing,
keep it upCopy !req
274. because you have
never looked better.Copy !req
275. Well, if you'll excuse me,
I should...Copy !req
276. I got stuff to do, so...
Yeah, um...Copy !req
277. Look, Sue, I gotta ask
your advice about something.Copy !req
278. I know I make it seem
like I-I know what I'm doing,Copy !req
279. but everyone knowsCopy !req
280. you're the kingmaker
around here.Copy !req
281. I mean, you're this school'sCopy !req
282. arbiter of taste.
Continue.Copy !req
283. We're doing this funk number
for Regionals,Copy !req
284. and I wanted
to pick your brain about it.Copy !req
285. I-I just wanted to know
if it's too suggestive.Copy !req
286. And I only need
two minutes of your time.Copy !req
287. Okay.Copy !req
288. So...Copy !req
289. you feel anything there?Copy !req
290. No.Copy !req
291. Was I...Copy !req
292. too dirty?Copy !req
293. I didn't notice. I was bored.Copy !req
294. Okay.Copy !req
295. Right, left, and flip, okay?Copy !req
296. Can I go shirtless
under this apron?Copy !req
297. Look, I only hired
you two losersCopy !req
298. because I'm desperate
to increase my quarterly salesCopy !req
299. and you'll work for less
than immigrants.Copy !req
300. As I'm you know,Copy !req
301. Mr. Schuester and I
are now officially divorced.Copy !req
302. I mean, I'm sure he talks
about it all the time.Copy !req
303. Anyway, I'm on my own now.Copy !req
304. And I need to make manager
by the end of the yearCopy !req
305. so that I can maintain
my lifestyle.Copy !req
306. Terri, that guy who gave
me Bell's palsy isCopy !req
307. back again today.Copy !req
308. So...Copy !req
309. help him.Copy !req
310. He's our best customer.Copy !req
311. You need to go help him.Copy !req
312. But she just told you to do it.Copy !req
313. I have got seniority
over you two losers,Copy !req
314. which means you have to do
what I say.Copy !req
315. Well, then I need
to kick your ass.Copy !req
316. Bamboo...!Copy !req
317. You two... apron boys.Copy !req
318. You're not gonna fondle us,
are you, Mr. Ryerson?Copy !req
319. I've recently
redone my bathroomCopy !req
320. as an homage
to Miss Jayne Mansfield.Copy !req
321. Pink! It's all pink!Copy !req
322. This is amaranth pink.Copy !req
323. I need rose pink.Copy !req
324. But this is all the pink
that we have.Copy !req
325. Wrong answer.Copy !req
326. Did they change the name of this
place to Losers N' Things?Copy !req
327. Did everyone inCopy !req
328. the whole world die so they hadCopy !req
329. to give these jobs
to you two morons?Copy !req
330. And where's my Muzak?Copy !req
331. How am I supposed to shop
without my Kenny G?Copy !req
332. Let's go!Copy !req
333. Crank it!Copy !req
334. Yo.Copy !req
335. Cut it.Copy !req
336. I thought Jews were
supposed to be smart.Copy !req
337. Go restack the space heaters.Copy !req
338. Mrs. Schuester,Copy !req
339. can you show me
how to fold this sham again?Copy !req
340. Mrs. Schuester?Copy !req
341. Oh. I'm sorry.Copy !req
342. Yes, sure. Of course.Copy !req
343. How old are you?Copy !req
344. Sixteen.Copy !req
345. Oh.Copy !req
346. Dear Journal,Copy !req
347. Something strange happened
yesterday.Copy !req
348. I felt something
below the neck.Copy !req
349. Dare I admit it?Copy !req
350. I have feelings
for one Will Schuester.Copy !req
351. Sexy, non-murdering feelings.Copy !req
352. Oh, it all makes sense now,
Journal.Copy !req
353. True love always springs
from true hate.Copy !req
354. I'll admit, in the past,
I've fantasized about waking upCopy !req
355. with Will's head on the pillow
next to me,Copy !req
356. except now I picture itCopy !req
357. attached to the rest
of his body.Copy !req
358. Sue, you got a sec?Copy !req
359. Yes, William.
How can I help you?Copy !req
360. I, uh, I wanted
to bring you these.Copy !req
361. I snuck a peek
at your tracksuit this morning,Copy !req
362. and I got these to match.Copy !req
363. Those are cheap
gas station flowers.Copy !req
364. I-I have no interest.Copy !req
365. Okay.Copy !req
366. But I also got you these.Copy !req
367. A tub of Extreme Challenge
Lifestyle CarboGels.Copy !req
368. I had to drive to Dayton
to get your favorite flavor.Copy !req
369. Appletini.
Appletini.Copy !req
370. I don't get it either, Sue,Copy !req
371. but you can't deny
that we have chemistry.Copy !req
372. My divorce opened my eyes
to a world of possibilities.Copy !req
373. I thought I'd finally
have the chanceCopy !req
374. to have all the things
I'd ever wanted.Copy !req
375. And then I realized,Copy !req
376. the only thing I want...Copy !req
377. is Sue.Copy !req
378. You have NationalsCopy !req
379. this Saturday, right?
Why do you ask?Copy !req
380. Because I'd like to take you
to dinner this week.Copy !req
381. How's Wednesday night?Copy !req
382. Breadstix?Copy !req
383. Yeah.Copy !req
384. Good.Copy !req
385. Oh...Copy !req
386. You know what Wednesday is,
right?Copy !req
387. Hump day.Copy !req
388. I'm sorry,
Mrs. Schuester,Copy !req
389. my heart's not in this.Copy !req
390. This whole Vocal Adrenaline
thing's really getting me down,Copy !req
391. and we have to come up
with this funk number for Glee,Copy !req
392. and I have like,
less-than-zero ideas, and I...Copy !req
393. Glee?Copy !req
394. God!Copy !req
395. This club is like toxic mold
on my life.Copy !req
396. I'm sorry.Copy !req
397. What am I doing?Copy !req
398. This is exactly how
I destroyed my marriage.Copy !req
399. I have this compulsive need to
crush other people's dreams.Copy !req
400. Yeah, that's what Mr. Shue said.Copy !req
401. I mean,
I think you're awesome, though.Copy !req
402. I mean, look how hard
you've been workingCopy !req
403. to try and help me fold a sham.
Well...Copy !req
404. And you'd be a total MILFCopy !req
405. if it weren't for the whole
faking-the-mother thing.Copy !req
406. You're very sweet.Copy !req
407. You could be my second chance.Copy !req
408. I'm gonna change.Copy !req
409. I don't have to stay inCopy !req
410. this post-divorce funk
forever, right?Copy !req
411. Yeah. Yeah, right, I guess.Copy !req
412. Well, then I am
going to help youCopy !req
413. with your Glee assignment.Copy !req
414. Okay, you said you needed
a funk song, right?Copy !req
415. Yeah.
Okay, so,Copy !req
416. we'll type "funk"
into the iTunes,Copy !req
417. and we'll see what comes up.Copy !req
418. I never thought of that.Copy !req
419. Oh, Howard, I'm promoting FinnCopy !req
420. to assistant assistant manager.Copy !req
421. You'll report to
him from now on.Copy !req
422. Do you have a problem
with that?Copy !req
423. Wow, thanks.Copy !req
424. I believe in you, Finn.Copy !req
425. Okay, Quinn,Copy !req
426. it's your day to show us
your funky side.Copy !req
427. So, take it away.Copy !req
428. For some of us...Copy !req
429. just simply getting to classCopy !req
430. takes a little bit longer.Copy !req
431. When you're pregnant,Copy !req
432. you're responsible
for two lives.Copy !req
433. And you're walking
down the hallwayCopy !req
434. oppressed by the man.Copy !req
435. Oh, my goodness, she is
not about to go there.Copy !req
436. Hearing people call you fat.Copy !req
437. Sometimes it hurts.Copy !req
438. Sometimes you have to stopCopy !req
439. and hold that precious life
and say no.Copy !req
440. This is offensive.Copy !req
441. Who are these girls?Copy !req
442. We're the "Unwed
Mothership Connection."Copy !req
443. And that's what we're
here to sing about.Copy !req
444. He-he-he-hoo-hoo-hoo.Copy !req
445. You're going to have
to order something.Copy !req
446. My date will be here any minute.Copy !req
447. Your date's not coming.Copy !req
448. You got stood up.Copy !req
449. Right on time.Copy !req
450. How dare you?Copy !req
451. You led me on.Copy !req
452. You told me you had
feelings for me,Copy !req
453. then you ask me out,
you don't show up,Copy !req
454. humiliating me.
In public.Copy !req
455. Gosh, Sue, I wonder where
I learned how to do all that.Copy !req
456. You meddled around
in my marriage,Copy !req
457. you terrorize the glee club,Copy !req
458. you continue to sabotage
my relationship with Emma.Copy !req
459. I tried playing nice, but
nothing seems to work with you.Copy !req
460. Cruelty was the only wayCopy !req
461. to get your attention.Copy !req
462. I have no interest
in dating you, Sue.Copy !req
463. You're a bully
and you're mean to kids.Copy !req
464. I'm mean to everyone.Copy !req
465. Yeah, well, fine.Copy !req
466. Consider this a little taste
of what you love dishing out.Copy !req
467. Now, if you'll excuse me.Copy !req
468. This is uncalled for, William.Copy !req
469. Good night, Sue.Copy !req
470. Santana, are you all right?Copy !req
471. What...?Copy !req
472. Kurt, what is going on
around here?Copy !req
473. Coach Sylvester
won't get out of bed.Copy !req
474. We haven't had
practice in days.Copy !req
475. I'm fine because I have Glee,Copy !req
476. but these girls have
sort of lost it.Copy !req
477. No Nationals means
that four of the girlsCopy !req
478. will lose their
college scholarships.Copy !req
479. And the rest are just
depressed and confused.Copy !req
480. Please, please,
love me, please.Copy !req
481. It's really hard to feel
bad for Sue Sylvester—Copy !req
482. she doesn't need
another trophy—Copy !req
483. but some of these
girls, they really do.Copy !req
484. Mr. Shue,Copy !req
485. Puck and I would like
to show the classCopy !req
486. the true meaning of funk.Copy !req
487. With a little helpCopy !req
488. from our special guest
Mercedes.Copy !req
489. Whoo.
Yeah.Copy !req
490. Fasten your seat belts, people.Copy !req
491. It's going to be a funky ride.Copy !req
492. Finnie D, break it down.Copy !req
493. All right.Copy !req
494. Great job, guys,
but that's not funk.Copy !req
495. I mean, the group is calledCopy !req
496. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch,Copy !req
497. but that is a rap song.Copy !req
498. A kick-butt old school rap song.Copy !req
499. Does it really matter, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
500. We're so clinically depressed,
we're doing the wrong songs.Copy !req
501. We're in a deeper
funk than ever.Copy !req
502. Mercedes,Copy !req
503. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
504. You may not be a minority,Copy !req
505. but you certainly get
how it feels sometimes.Copy !req
506. For nine months.Copy !req
507. You've had to deal with thisCopy !req
508. your whole life.Copy !req
509. People making assumptions,
calling you names.Copy !req
510. I seriously can't understand
why don't feel likeCopy !req
511. yelling at people all the time.Copy !req
512. What's the point
in getting angry?Copy !req
513. Because it's infuriating.Copy !req
514. I hate all the looks at school.Copy !req
515. Don't even get me started
on Puck's mom.Copy !req
516. You're not angry.Copy !req
517. You're hurt.Copy !req
518. You just need someplace safeCopy !req
519. where you can dig through
all that rage.Copy !req
520. Get to the pain beneath it.Copy !req
521. So it's decided.Copy !req
522. Saturday you move out
of Puck's houseCopy !req
523. and you move in with me.Copy !req
524. I already talked
to my mom about it.Copy !req
525. My brother went off to college
and we have an extra room.Copy !req
526. Mercedes...Copy !req
527. It's cool.Copy !req
528. Us sisters got to stick
together, right?Copy !req
529. Mr. Schuester?
Yes.Copy !req
530. Come in.
Thank you.Copy !req
531. Um, is she doing okay?Copy !req
532. Never seen her like this.Copy !req
533. She won't leave her room,
and refuses her protein shakes.Copy !req
534. Bad.Copy !req
535. Very bad. Well, please, tell her
I'd love to speak with her.Copy !req
536. Let me ask.Copy !req
537. Thank you.Copy !req
538. Careful.Copy !req
539. That Regionals '85.Copy !req
540. Very precious to Ms. Sue.Copy !req
541. Sorry.Copy !req
542. Mija, Mr. Schuester
is here.Copy !req
543. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
544. She agreed to see you.Copy !req
545. Oh, gracias por tu ayuda.Copy !req
546. De Nada.Copy !req
547. So have you come to gloat?Copy !req
548. I, uh...Copy !req
549. I hear you're pulling out
of Nationals, Sue.Copy !req
550. You know, for some
of your girlsCopy !req
551. that's going to have
some really big consequences.Copy !req
552. I'm tired of those kids.Copy !req
553. I devoted my life to them.Copy !req
554. And what have I got
to show for it?Copy !req
555. Five consecutive
National championships.Copy !req
556. Oh, big deal.Copy !req
557. I'm alone, William.Copy !req
558. I don't even like you
and I was willingCopy !req
559. to jump at the chance
to be with you.Copy !req
560. And, you know, for a second,Copy !req
561. I saw a flash of something.Copy !req
562. I pictured myselfCopy !req
563. living a normal life.Copy !req
564. Having someone to come home to
every night.Copy !req
565. And though
I completely loathe you,Copy !req
566. you'd make
a great trophy husband.Copy !req
567. And as you can seeCopy !req
568. by my decor,
I love me some trophies.Copy !req
569. Sue, I did what I did to you
out of anger.Copy !req
570. I thought destroying youCopy !req
571. would pull me out of my funk.Copy !req
572. But... just made things worse.Copy !req
573. So is that an apology?Copy !req
574. Yes, it is.Copy !req
575. And you're not alone, Sue.Copy !req
576. Your kids need you,Copy !req
577. so you do have love
in your life.Copy !req
578. My kids don't love me;
They fear me.Copy !req
579. But you love them, Sue.Copy !req
580. Hand me my bullhorn, will you?Copy !req
581. Amelda!Copy !req
582. Make me a shake!Copy !req
583. To go!Copy !req
584. Hooray.Copy !req
585. Make it two.Copy !req
586. Hello.Copy !req
587. Meet me out in the parking lot.Copy !req
588. I hear you're a vegan, Berry.Copy !req
589. The souls of those
poor egg fetusesCopy !req
590. are all on your conscience now.Copy !req
591. Do it, Jessie.Copy !req
592. Are you with us or not?Copy !req
593. Do it.Copy !req
594. Break it
like you broke my heart.Copy !req
595. I loved you.Copy !req
596. Now...
nightmares of all of the mothersCopy !req
597. of the little baby chicks
coming after me for revenge.Copy !req
598. Oh, this is bull!Copy !req
599. Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.Copy !req
600. Right on. It's time for less
talking and more punching.Copy !req
601. Hey, what's going on?Copy !req
602. We're on our way to go all
Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
603. Guys, violence is never
the answer.Copy !req
604. It is when the question is
"What's the best way to mess upCopy !req
605. that Jessie kid's face?"Copy !req
606. Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us.Copy !req
607. We're the only ones
who get to humiliate her.Copy !req
608. Stop!Copy !req
609. Get back here and sit down!Copy !req
610. Look, I know from experienceCopy !req
611. that making someone else suffer
doesn't make your pain go away.Copy !req
612. You're all amazing, no matterCopy !req
613. what Vocal Adrenaline
says or does.Copy !req
614. We just need to find a way
to remind ourselves of that.Copy !req
615. We can't just let
Vocal Adrenaline get awayCopy !req
616. with turning Rachel
into an omelet.Copy !req
617. We're not.Copy !req
618. Rachel, dial Jessie's
number on your phone.Copy !req
619. You haven't
deleted his number yet?Copy !req
620. Jessie St. James?Copy !req
621. Will Schuester here.
You and Vocal Adrenaline needCopy !req
622. to meet at our auditorium
Friday, 3:00 sharp.Copy !req
623. Let's hear it
from the internationally rankedCopy !req
624. Cheerios coach Sue Sylvester.Copy !req
625. Coach, six consecutive
National titles.Copy !req
626. You're the Michael Jordan
of cheerleading.Copy !req
627. Thanks, Brett, I am.Copy !req
628. Sue, let us know about
the decision you madeCopy !req
629. to have Kurt Hummel hereCopy !req
630. do a 14-and-a-half minute
Celine Dion medley,Copy !req
631. entirely in French.Copy !req
632. Well, I'll tell you what, Brett,Copy !req
633. I'm all about finding
a freakish, depressed kidCopy !req
634. and showing him
what winning is all about.Copy !req
635. Vive Le difference!Copy !req
636. Whoo! Well... well, Sue, congratulations,Copy !req
637. but I have to ask you,
where are you going to putCopy !req
638. that mammoth
skyscraping trophy?Copy !req
639. I know just the place.Copy !req
640. Get out.Copy !req
641. I'm sorry, Mr. Shue.Copy !req
642. Wow. You did it, Sue...Copy !req
643. I'll do the talking,
thank you very much.Copy !req
644. Let me break it down
for you, William.Copy !req
645. You're standing at a crossroads.Copy !req
646. This trophy will be installed
in the choir roomCopy !req
647. in a custom-built
bulletproof caseCopy !req
648. as a daily reminder
of your failureCopy !req
649. as a man and an educator.Copy !req
650. And what's choice number two?Copy !req
651. You can kiss me...Copy !req
652. right here on the lips...Copy !req
653. with tongue.Copy !req
654. This is payback, isn't it?Copy !req
655. No one will know?Copy !req
656. Fine.Copy !req
657. You know what?Copy !req
658. I'm not gonna do this.Copy !req
659. Even your breath stinks
of mediocrity.Copy !req
660. It's making me sick.Copy !req
661. Thanks for coming.Copy !req
662. After your brazen escalation
of our growing dispute,Copy !req
663. which we were willing
to put to rest, we decidedCopy !req
664. the only way to truly funkify
you is to show youCopy !req
665. the one thing
we know you can't do.Copy !req
666. So enjoy.Copy !req
667. See you punks at Regionals.Copy !req
668. They did a funk number.Copy !req
669. We've never been able
to pull off a funk number.Copy !req
670. Well, that's because we're
soulless automatons.Copy !req
671. I'm so depressed.Copy !req