1. "Madonna."Copy !req
2. Simply saying the word aloud
makes me feel powerful.Copy !req
3. Even in voice-over,
how I have worshipped herCopy !req
4. ever since I was a little girl.Copy !req
5. Sorry, Angie Jolie,
Catherine the Great...Copy !req
6. Madonna is the most powerful womanCopy !req
7. to ever walk the face
of the Earth.Copy !req
8. I'm instating a new policy wherebyCopy !req
9. quite loudly, throughout
the entire school day.Copy !req
10. But blasting her delicious
hooks would make it impossibleCopy !req
11. for the students to concentrate.Copy !req
12. Ah, who cares? Madonna
never finished college.Copy !req
13. She hopped a cab for
the bright lightsCopy !req
14. of New York City with
35 bucks in her pocket.Copy !req
15. And I think we should encourage
our pupils to do the same.Copy !req
16. You say the word,
and I will provide youCopy !req
17. a list of the students
I believe should beCopy !req
18. rounded up and shipped
off immediately.Copy !req
19. I am sorry, Sue.
This is insanity!Copy !req
20. What you call insanity,
I call inspiration.Copy !req
21. Let me break it down for you.Copy !req
22. It's been the biggest
dream of my careerCopy !req
23. to pay homage to Madonna...Copy !req
24. the woman most responsible
for my take-no-prisonersCopy !req
25. demeanor, and my subconscious
tendency to always beCopy !req
26. desperately looking for
someone named Susan.Copy !req
27. And now, my Cheerio Squad this yearCopy !req
28. finally has the talent to
make that dream come true.Copy !req
29. You will not take
that dream from me.Copy !req
30. Do you not understandCopy !req
31. the blackmail process
and how it works?Copy !req
32. Smile.Copy !req
33. I have your wife's phone
number on speed dial.Copy !req
34. To recap, you will be
playing those Madonna hitsCopy !req
35. throughout the day at
an earsplitting volume.Copy !req
36. Understood?
Santana.Copy !req
37. What does your bracelet say?Copy !req
38. "W.W.M.D."
"What would Madonna do?"Copy !req
39. Well, the answer to
that question is usuallyCopy !req
40. date a younger man.Copy !req
41. So, let's see some
arm candy, girls.Copy !req
42. Sorry, freshmen.Copy !req
43. You're going to have to start
trolling the middle schools.Copy !req
44. And you know why?
'Cause if you want to beCopy !req
45. as riveting a performer
as Madonna...Copy !req
46. a skill that will nab us NationalsCopy !req
47. this year... you're
going to have to startCopy !req
48. thinking like her, acting like her.
Also...Copy !req
49. àla Madonna,
I will no longer acknowledgeCopy !req
50. that any of you have last names.Copy !req
51. Becky Jackson.
From now on,Copy !req
52. you're just Becky... You know,
it's like Madonna once said,Copy !req
53. "I'm tough, I'm ambitious,
and I know what I want.Copy !req
54. If that makes me a bitch, okay."Copy !req
55. I'm pretty sure she stole that line
from one Sue Sylvester.Copy !req
56. No, really, she stole it from me.Copy !req
57. I said it first. Palladium. '87.Copy !req
58. - Can I ask you guys something private?
- Yes, you should move to Israel.Copy !req
59. It's about dating.
Not that I'm dating anyone.Copy !req
60. We all know that Finn and
I are no longer an item,Copy !req
61. and for the sake of the team,
I broke up with Jessie.Copy !req
62. But let's just say I
was dating someone.Copy !req
63. Let's just say, hypothetically,
we went to a Wiggles concertCopy !req
64. last Friday night,
and then because my dadsCopy !req
65. weren't home, we went up to my roomCopy !req
66. and started making out.
It was erotic and romantic.Copy !req
67. And then he said...
We should do it.Copy !req
68. - "It"? Totally.
- Haven't you done it before?Copy !req
69. - No. - Have you?Copy !req
70. - What do you think?
- It's no big deal.Copy !req
71. For a girl, it is.Copy !req
72. What if then he got really
crabby and left, and didn't evenCopy !req
73. take home the Care Bear I
won him playing Skee Ball?Copy !req
74. Would you please stop talking?
You're grossing out my baby.Copy !req
75. I just want to be ready...
I know I'm getting older,Copy !req
76. and these things are going
to happen someday, butCopy !req
77. how do I stop a guy from getting
mad at me for saying "no"?Copy !req
78. Just do what I do.
Never say "no."Copy !req
79. Oh, totally. I mean,
what's the worst that can happen?Copy !req
80. - Sorry, Quinn.
- Look, girl, don't ask me.Copy !req
81. The last guy I liked was
the mayor of gaytown.Copy !req
82. And I can't wait to get a guyCopy !req
83. - ... Mad at me for saying "no."
- We just have to acceptCopy !req
84. that guys don't care
about our feelings.Copy !req
85. Like, the other day,
I was walking with Artie...Copy !req
86. I've thought a lot about it,
and I forgive youCopy !req
87. for lying about your stutter.Copy !req
88. However, if you're planning
on getting all up on this,Copy !req
89. I'm going to need you
to make some changes.Copy !req
90. The goth thing was two years ago,
so maybe loseCopy !req
91. the vampire makeup and consider
some tighter-fitting clothing.Copy !req
92. You've got the pow, and I
believe you should work it moreCopy !req
93. if we're going to be an item.
That's got to sting.Copy !req
94. Hey, guys. I'm sorry
to interrupt your little sorority,Copy !req
95. but I couldn't help but overhearing.Copy !req
96. Are you really having
that much boy trouble?Copy !req
97. You wouldn't understand,
Mr. Shue. You're a guy.Copy !req
98. Well, then maybe you should
talk to someone else about it.Copy !req
99. - Like Ms. Pillsbury.
- I tried that.Copy !req
100. Oh, um, that's a
hot-button topic, isn't it?Copy !req
101. I mean, when to do that.Copy !req
102. This is the perfect chat
to have with your mom.Copy !req
103. - I have two gay dads.
- Right, right... you...Copy !req
104. How about your rabbi?Copy !req
105. I really don't feel
comfortable talking about thisCopy !req
106. with Rabbi Greenberg.
Aren't you a guidance counselor?Copy !req
107. The fact is is that women
still earn 70 cents,Copy !req
108. to every dollar that a man
does for doing the same job.Copy !req
109. That attitude starts
in high school.Copy !req
110. I don't know what to say. I mean,Copy !req
111. I can't do this job if I don't
have the kids' confidence.Copy !req
112. Now, I get that this
area of interest is, uh,Copy !req
113. your blind spot, but I want to
help you so that the next timeCopy !req
114. a girl comes in here asking thoseCopy !req
115. kinds of questions, you'll be prepared.
I'm not saying you need to have sex.Copy !req
116. No! No, no, no. No,
that's not what you were offering.Copy !req
117. - Just...
- Why would you offer that?Copy !req
118. - It wasn't what I was thinking.
- Wishful thinking is all that was.Copy !req
119. I mean, what this is
all really about isCopy !req
120. teenage girls feeling
like they have no power.Copy !req
121. Right, and it makes sense, too.
I mean, look at theirCopy !req
122. role models, you know? You've got
Britney Spears and her shaved head.Copy !req
123. Lindsay Lohan looks like something
out of Lord of the Rings.Copy !req
124. Ann Coulter.Copy !req
125. Let's work together
to try to find a wayCopy !req
126. to make them feel more
confident about themselves.Copy !req
127. Yeah, I like that.Copy !req
128. Yes, we will change the
world one girl at a time.Copy !req
129. We'll be like a girl-saving team.Copy !req
130. And maybe along the way,
we can findCopy !req
131. a way to help you, too.Copy !req
132. "Zephyr in the sky
"at night I wonderCopy !req
133. "do my tears of mourning
"sink beneath the sun?Copy !req
134. "She's got herself a
universe gone quicklyCopy !req
135. "for the call of thunderCopy !req
136. "threatens everyone...Copy !req
137. "And I feel like I just got home,
and I feelCopy !req
138. "And I feel like I just got homeCopy !req
139. "and I feel...Copy !req
140. Sloppy freak show babies!Copy !req
141. Somewhere in the
English countryside,Copy !req
142. in a stately manor home,
Madonna is weeping!Copy !req
143. Hit the showers!Copy !req
144. Oh, hey, William.Copy !req
145. I thought I smelled cookies waftingCopy !req
146. from the ovens of the little
elves who live in your hair.Copy !req
147. - Wow, Sue. I'm really impressed.
- Yeah, well, Madonna is legend.Copy !req
148. And I want my girls to learn
all the lessons she has to offer:Copy !req
149. Strength, independence...Copy !req
150. Nobody quite like the Material Girl
to empower my Cheerios.Copy !req
151. Just like your hairdresser
has empowered youCopy !req
152. to look absolutely ridiculous.Copy !req
153. - I'll see you later, Sue.
- You think this is hard?Copy !req
154. I'm passing a gallstone
as we speak! That's hard!Copy !req
155. What comes to mind
when you see that name?Copy !req
156. - Genius. Icon.
- Hall of Fame MILF.Copy !req
157. So, we're all aware of Madonna's
musical and cultural significance,Copy !req
158. which is why this week,
your assignmentCopy !req
159. is to come up with
a Madonna number.Copy !req
160. - Yes! Yes!
- Uh, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
161. As a dude, Madonna makes
me kind of uncomfortable.Copy !req
162. Yeah, she's smokin' and everything,Copy !req
163. but can't some of us
do something else?Copy !req
164. Like the guy version of Madonna?
Like, you know, Pantera?Copy !req
165. Guys! You know,
it's come to my attentionCopy !req
166. that many of you
haven't been treatingCopy !req
167. the young ladies of our
group very nicely lately.Copy !req
168. You're disrespectful, bullying,Copy !req
169. sexist, and I hate to say it,
misogynistic.Copy !req
170. I have no idea what that means.Copy !req
171. When I pulled my hamstring,
I went to a misogynist.Copy !req
172. What it means is, put yourself
in their shoes for a change.Copy !req
173. Culturally, Madonna's
legacy transcends her music,Copy !req
174. because by and large,
the subtext of her songs are aboutCopy !req
175. being strong, independentCopy !req
176. and-and confident,
no matter what your sex.Copy !req
177. But more than anything,
Madonna's musical messageCopy !req
178. is about equality.Copy !req
179. And that is something I think
you guys need to work on.Copy !req
180. Mr. Shue, I don't think we can
have an honest conversationCopy !req
181. about Ms. Ciccone
without acknowledgingCopy !req
182. that her images are as
indelible as her songs.Copy !req
183. I would like to honor her
contributions by tacklingCopy !req
184. a multi-media projectCopy !req
185. - with Mercedes.
- Great.Copy !req
186. - Go for it, Kurt.
- I'm still not down.Copy !req
187. And no chick intimidates Puckzilla.Copy !req
188. I just don't think her music
translates to show choir.Copy !req
189. Really? Well I, for one,
couldn't disagree more.Copy !req
190. "Express Yourself,"go.Copy !req
191. "Do you believe in love?Copy !req
192. "'Cause I got something
to say about it,Copy !req
193. "and it goes something like this.Copy !req
194. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
195. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
196. "You know, you know,
you've got toCopy !req
197. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
198. "and maybe then you
know your love is real.Copy !req
199. "You don't need diamond ringsCopy !req
200. "or 18-karat gold,Copy !req
201. "fancy cars that go very fast,
you know,Copy !req
202. "they never last, no, no.Copy !req
203. "What you need is a big,
strong handCopy !req
204. "to lift you to
your higher ground.Copy !req
205. "Make you feel like
a queen on a throneCopy !req
206. "make him love you till
you can't come down.Copy !req
207. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
208. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
209. "You know, you know,
you've got toCopy !req
210. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
211. "and maybe then you'll
know your love is real.Copy !req
212. "And when you're gone,
he might regret it.Copy !req
213. "Think about the
love you once had,Copy !req
214. "Try to carry on,Copy !req
215. "But he just won't get it.Copy !req
216. "Hey... "He'll be back
on his knees, so pleaseCopy !req
217. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
218. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
219. "You know,
you know you've got toCopy !req
220. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
221. "and maybe then you'll
know your love is real.Copy !req
222. "Let him know your love is real.Copy !req
223. "You've got to make
him express himself.Copy !req
224. "Hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
225. "Put your love to the test.,
"So if you want it right now,Copy !req
226. "make him show you how.
"Make him show how he feels.Copy !req
227. "Express what he's got.Copy !req
228. "Oh, baby, ready or not.Copy !req
229. "Express yourself.Copy !req
230. That's what I'm talking about.
All right.Copy !req
231. - I look smokin' hot.
- Guess who I'm dating.Copy !req
232. - Who? - Wes Brody.
He's super cute.Copy !req
233. He plays soccer with my sister.Copy !req
234. - He's seven. - Oh! Crap.Copy !req
235. I need a younger, inferior man.
If I don't find one,Copy !req
236. Coach Sylvester will kick me
off the Cheerios, for sure.Copy !req
237. Hello? Finn!Copy !req
238. His birthday's like
three days before yours,Copy !req
239. and he's super dumb.Copy !req
240. We already tried with Finn,
and he hates us.Copy !req
241. Trust me, the way to get a
man to follow you forever...Copy !req
242. take his virginity.Copy !req
243. Madonna, like,
wrote a song about it.Copy !req
244. "You're not convinced that
that is enough...Copy !req
245. Hey, Finnocence.Copy !req
246. You know, I've been thinking,
and I think we should go out.Copy !req
247. Just you and me this time,
no third wheel.Copy !req
248. - Will you talk to me this time?
- I don't really talk during.Copy !req
249. Look, Finn, It's high
time you lost the big V.Copy !req
250. Everything about
you screams virgin.Copy !req
251. You're about as sexy
as a Cabbage Patch Kid.Copy !req
252. - It's exhausting to look at you.
- Well, look, I appreciate the offer,Copy !req
253. but I have feelings
for someone else,Copy !req
254. and I'm trying to work
things out with them. So...Copy !req
255. Who, Rachel?Copy !req
256. She's dating that Jessie
kid from Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
257. No, she's not.
Please, you can smell it on her.Copy !req
258. She's like a cat in heat.Copy !req
259. She talked about him
yesterday and practicallyCopy !req
260. - Sprayed the choir room.
- So come on, let's do the deed.Copy !req
261. It'll be great for my image,Copy !req
262. and Sue will promote
me to head cheerleader.Copy !req
263. It's win-win.Copy !req
264. Wait, what...
what do I get out of it?Copy !req
265. I don't know.Copy !req
266. You get to have sex and
make Rachel jealous.Copy !req
267. - I meant for me, okay?
- It's win-win for me.Copy !req
268. - You wanted to see me? - Sue!Copy !req
269. Um... Yeah. Thank you for coming.
Please sit down.Copy !req
270. No. Okay.
Um, I was just wonderingCopy !req
271. why Madonna's playing
everywhere except my office.Copy !req
272. Well, it's simple, Arlene.Copy !req
273. You don't deserve the
power of Madonna.Copy !req
274. You have none of her
self-confidence,Copy !req
275. her power over her body
or her sexual magnetism.Copy !req
276. Simply put, you have
all the sensualityCopy !req
277. of one of those
pandas down at the zooCopy !req
278. who refuse to mate.Copy !req
279. I had your, uh,
intercom disconnected.Copy !req
280. There you go.Copy !req
281. Finn, I was just
coming to find you.Copy !req
282. Look, I know that the boys
were a little uncomfortableCopy !req
283. about this Madonna assignment,Copy !req
284. so I figured you and
I as co-captainsCopy !req
285. could do a little mash-up
of a bunch of her songsCopy !req
286. just to show everyone
how cool it can be.Copy !req
287. Yeah, sure, whatever.Copy !req
288. Look, are you still
dating that Jessie kid?Copy !req
289. - No, no. - Who told you that?Copy !req
290. Look, I know things have
been weird between us,Copy !req
291. but I never thought
you'd lie to me.Copy !req
292. Look, please just
don't tell anyone.Copy !req
293. Unbelievable.Copy !req
294. We may not be together
the way that Jessie and I are,Copy !req
295. but we can still be friends.Copy !req
296. I-I'm asking you
as my friend to trust me.Copy !req
297. Fine... but if this leads to
something bad for all of us,Copy !req
298. don't expect any more
friendship from me.Copy !req
299. - Noted.
- All right, let's rehearse, then.Copy !req
300. "Something in the way you
love me won't let me be.Copy !req
301. "I don't wanna be your prisonerCopy !req
302. "so baby, won't you set me free?Copy !req
303. "Stop playing with my heart,Copy !req
304. "finish what you start,Copy !req
305. "when you make my
love come down.Copy !req
306. "If you want me, let me know.Copy !req
307. "Baby, let it show.Copy !req
308. "Honey, don't you fool around.Copy !req
309. "Don't try to resist me,Copy !req
310. "open your heart to me, baby.Copy !req
311. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
312. "Open your heart to me, darling.Copy !req
313. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
314. "Something in your eyes is
making such a fool of me.Copy !req
315. "You're making me,
you're making such a fool of me.Copy !req
316. "I see you on the street
and you walk on by.Copy !req
317. "You're on the street,
I see you when you're walking by.Copy !req
318. "When you hold me in your armsCopy !req
319. "you love me till
I just can't see.Copy !req
320. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
321. "So you choose to
look the other way.Copy !req
322. "Well, I've got
something to say.Copy !req
323. "Open your heart to me, baby.Copy !req
324. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
325. "Open your heart to me, darling.Copy !req
326. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
327. "Open your heart,
I'll make you love me.Copy !req
328. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
329. "Open your heart to me, darlingCopy !req
330. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
331. "Open your heart with the key.Copy !req
332. - That was good. - Totally.Copy !req
333. - Hey guys, how's the assignment
coming along? - Oh, amazing.Copy !req
334. You know how Madonna kind of
reinvented the video, right?Copy !req
335. Well, we got Artie and
the A/V Club to help out.Copy !req
336. We're gonna make a
Madonna video of our own.Copy !req
337. It's going to be "Madge-ical."Copy !req
338. Madge... you know,
Madonna's nickname?Copy !req
339. Okay, you really got to
get up to speed here.Copy !req
340. Hey... Schuester!Copy !req
341. I heard a juicy little rumor
that your Up With People rejectsCopy !req
342. were doing some Madonna songs.
Is that true?Copy !req
343. Yeah, well, to be honest, Sue,Copy !req
344. I got inspired
watching your Cheerios.Copy !req
345. Well, I have been waiting
years to pay tribute to her,Copy !req
346. and you are not swooping
in at the last minuteCopy !req
347. to snatch her from my talons.Copy !req
348. Madonna belongs to me,
and I will not be copied.Copy !req
349. - It's in my contract.
I want you to listen very closely.Copy !req
350. You can have your
Barbras and your ChersCopy !req
351. and your Christinas...Copy !req
352. and wow, I just lost
my train of thought.Copy !req
353. You have so much
margarine in your hair.Copy !req
354. Okay, first of all,
my kids are doing Madonna.Copy !req
355. She's public domain, and there's
nothing you can do about it.Copy !req
356. Secondly, enough
with the hair jokes.Copy !req
357. Oh, by the way, how's the Florence
Henderson look working out for you?Copy !req
358. Oh... "And you should know I
suffer the same...Copy !req
359. Oh, maybe you should try a
new setting on your Flowbee.Copy !req
360. Oh, snap!Copy !req
361. "Love is a bird,
"she needs to fly.Copy !req
362. "Let all the hurt inside
of you die.Copy !req
363. "You're frozen
"when your heart's not open...Copy !req
364. Who else wants a
piece of this, huh?Copy !req
365. "Give yourself to me.Copy !req
366. Hey, uh, so, that offer of yours
to lose... the big V...Copy !req
367. I'm in.Copy !req
368. "If I could melt your heart...Copy !req
369. - Ms. Sylvester, we'd like a word.
- We saw how upset you got today.Copy !req
370. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
371. We saw your faceCopy !req
372. after Mr. Schuester
insulted your hair.Copy !req
373. Close the door. Sit down.Copy !req
374. You know, kids, I grew up
with a handi-capable sister.Copy !req
375. My parents were
famous Nazi hunters,Copy !req
376. - So they weren't around a lot.
- I had to bring her up on my own.Copy !req
377. I didn't have a lot
of time or moneyCopy !req
378. to keep up with all
the latest looks.Copy !req
379. But on my sixth birthday,
True Blue was released.Copy !req
380. An album that would later sell
over 30 million copies.Copy !req
381. My sister and I took it upon
ourselves to bleach my hairCopy !req
382. with whatever chemicals we
could find around the house.Copy !req
383. Ammonia, napalm.Copy !req
384. My hair was so damaged,
I've been forced to wear it shortCopy !req
385. ever since.Copy !req
386. It's been a daily, ongoing pain.
Wait, that would make you, like, 30.Copy !req
387. 29.Copy !req
388. And here's the truth:
I mercilessly pick onCopy !req
389. Will Schuester's lustrous,
wavy hairCopy !req
390. because I'm jealous.
There, I said it.Copy !req
391. - I think we can help.
- Mercedes is black. I'm gay.Copy !req
392. We make culture. Go on.Copy !req
393. We're working
on an exciting new projectCopy !req
394. and would like to use the Cheerios.Copy !req
395. And we can help you
find a new look.Copy !req
396. Interesting.Copy !req
397. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do...
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... "Copy !req
398. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do...Copy !req
399. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do!Copy !req
400. - Sondheim on Music.
- Jessie, is that you?Copy !req
401. I'm so glad you came.Copy !req
402. I picked the Stephen
Sondheim biography sectionCopy !req
403. for our clandestine meeting place,Copy !req
404. because only he would be able
to express my melancholia.Copy !req
405. I feel bad about what
happened at your house.Copy !req
406. Do you still have my Care Bear?Copy !req
407. - Yes. - Since we're
meeting in the shadows,Copy !req
408. there's something I wanted
to talk to you about.Copy !req
409. Me first.Copy !req
410. I was out of line the other night.
You deserve more than that.Copy !req
411. You deserve romance...
no, you deserve epic romance.Copy !req
412. I feel badly that I pressured
you into... you know,Copy !req
413. going all the way.
I'm willing to wait.Copy !req
414. You tell me when you're ready.Copy !req
415. And I'll make sure that
I'm fastidiously groomed.Copy !req
416. - What did you want to tell me?
- I'm ready.Copy !req
417. Hey, that catch was
amazing Tuesday.Copy !req
418. - Will! Hey. Hey, wait up.
- All right. How's it going?Copy !req
419. Good. Um... okay,
I've realized something,Copy !req
420. something really important.Copy !req
421. You know when we were talking
about Madonna the other dayCopy !req
422. and how her music was being blasted
like an intimidating cluster bombCopy !req
423. into everybody's
office except for mineCopy !req
424. because, apparently,
I lack a shred of sex appeal?Copy !req
425. Well, it struck me that the Big Mo
is always in control of everything.Copy !req
426. Her life is her own.
Okay.Copy !req
427. So I need to take control
of myself and my body,Copy !req
428. just like Madonna. Which is why...Copy !req
429. I'm planning on doing
the nasty with youCopy !req
430. tonight at your place.Copy !req
431. Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.Copy !req
432. - So, what do you think?
- Not that it matters.Copy !req
433. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
434. - Great. - Great.
- 7:30. - Cool.Copy !req
435. "Vogue,"take one. Sound speed...Copy !req
436. and action. And playback.Copy !req
437. Strike a pose.Copy !req
438. "Look around, everywhere
you turn is heartache,Copy !req
439. "it's everywhere that you go.
"Go, go, go, go...Copy !req
440. "You try everything
you can to escapeCopy !req
441. "the pain of life that you know.
"The life that you know...Copy !req
442. "When all else fails
and you long to beCopy !req
443. "something better
than you are today,Copy !req
444. "I know a place where
you can get away,Copy !req
445. "it's called a dance floor,
and here's what it's for.Copy !req
446. "So come on, vogue.Copy !req
447. "Let your body
move to the music.
"Move to the music.,
"Hey, hey, heyCopy !req
448. "Come on, vogue.Copy !req
449. "Let your body go with the flow.Copy !req
450. "Go with the flow
"You know you can do itCopy !req
451. "Beauty's where you find it,Copy !req
452. "not just where you
bump and grind it.Copy !req
453. "Soul is in the musical,Copy !req
454. "that's where I
feel so beautiful.Copy !req
455. "Magical.
"Life's a ball.Copy !req
456. "So get up on the dance floor.Copy !req
457. "Come on, vogue.
"Vogue.Copy !req
458. "Let your body
move to the music.Copy !req
459. "Move to the music.
"Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
460. "Come on, vogue.
"Vogue.Copy !req
461. "Let your body go with the flow.Copy !req
462. "Go with the flow.
"You know you can do it.Copy !req
463. "Vogue, vogue.
"Beauty's where you find it.Copy !req
464. "Move to the music.
"Vogue.Copy !req
465. "Vogue.
"Beauty's where you find it.Copy !req
466. "Go with the flow.
"Greta Garbo and MonroeCopy !req
467. "Dietrich and DiMaggio
"Marlon Brando, Jimmy DeanCopy !req
468. "on the cover of a magazine.
"Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean,Copy !req
469. "Picture of a beauty queen.
"Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire,Copy !req
470. "Sue Sylvester dance on air.
"They had style, they had grace.Copy !req
471. "Rita Hayworth gave good face.
"Lauren, Katherine, Lana, too.Copy !req
472. "Will Schuester, I hate you.
"Ladies with an attitude.Copy !req
473. "Strike a pose,
there's nothing to it.Copy !req
474. "Vogue, vogue.
"Vogue, vogue.Copy !req
475. "You've got to let your
body move to the music.Copy !req
476. "You've got to just...
"Vogue...Copy !req
477. - Are you ready?
- In a minute.Copy !req
478. "I made it through the wilderness.Copy !req
479. "Somehow I made it through.Copy !req
480. "I didn't know how lost I was
"until I found you.Copy !req
481. "I was beat, incomplete.Copy !req
482. "I'd been had.
"I was sad and blue.Copy !req
483. "But you made me feel,Copy !req
484. "yeah, you made me
feel shiny and new.Copy !req
485. "Like a virgin,Copy !req
486. "touched for the
very first time.Copy !req
487. "Like a virgin.Copy !req
488. "When your heart
beats next to mine.Copy !req
489. "Gonna give you
all my love, boy.Copy !req
490. "My fear is fading fast.Copy !req
491. "I'd been saving it all for you,
"'cause only love can last.Copy !req
492. "You're so fine
"and you're mine.Copy !req
493. "Make me strong,
"yeah, you make me bold.Copy !req
494. "Oh, your love thawed out,Copy !req
495. "yeah, your love thawed out
"what was getting cold.Copy !req
496. "Like a virgin.Copy !req
497. "You make me feel like a virgin.Copy !req
498. "Touched for the
very first time.Copy !req
499. "Oh, baby.Copy !req
500. "Like a vir-ir-irgin.Copy !req
501. "When your heart
beats next to mine.Copy !req
502. "Like a virgin.
"Oh-oh-oh, like a virgin.Copy !req
503. "Yeah, it feels so good inside.Copy !req
504. "When you hold me.Copy !req
505. "When you hold me.
When your heart beats.Copy !req
506. "When your heart beats.
"When you love me.Copy !req
507. "When you love me, baby.
"Oh-oh.Copy !req
508. "Whoa.Copy !req
509. "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah.
"Oh-oh... yeah.Copy !req
510. "Oh, like a virgin.Copy !req
511. - Rachel?
- I'm ready.Copy !req
512. I wonder which look
she's gonna rock.Copy !req
513. Doesn't matter.
They were all fantastic.Copy !req
514. - Oh, dear.
- Miss Sylvester.Copy !req
515. Oh, hey, there,
Whoopi, Don Knotts.Copy !req
516. - What happened?
- Well, I'll tell you what.Copy !req
517. All those costumes
and the hairstyles,Copy !req
518. I'm gonna leave constant
reinvention to Madonna.Copy !req
519. Know why?
Had a revelation.Copy !req
520. Here's a list of the kids
I want shipped off to New YorkCopy !req
521. with 35 bucks in their pocket.
Operation Madonna is now complete.Copy !req
522. - Sue, these are all Glee kids.
- Yep.Copy !req
523. Um... I'm sorry, Sue.Copy !req
524. I'm having trouble concentrating.
Your new look is...Copy !req
525. - Fantastic. Yeah, I agree.
- Unnecessary.Copy !req
526. Sue, you're a powerful woman.
You don't need to copy anyone else.Copy !req
527. You're an original,
just like Madonna.Copy !req
528. Don't lose that quality.Copy !req
529. Do you mean that,
or are you just saying thatCopy !req
530. because I poked a
couple of kids' eyes outCopy !req
531. before second period today?Copy !req
532. See, kids, Sue Sylvester realized
she didn't need to reinvent herself.Copy !req
533. She needs to reinvent everybody
else, starting with you two.Copy !req
534. - Hey. - Hi.Copy !req
535. So how'd your date with
Jessie go Friday night?Copy !req
536. It went wonderfully.Copy !req
537. Honestly, it wasn't
that big of a deal.Copy !req
538. I mean, you know, it-it was great.Copy !req
539. But when it was over, I just, uh,Copy !req
540. you know, didn't know whyCopy !req
541. I was so nervous
in the first place.Copy !req
542. Just come out so we can talk...
or sing about it.Copy !req
543. Look, Jessie,
I really like you, but...Copy !req
544. I can't do it.Copy !req
545. It wouldn't be right for...
the team.Copy !req
546. What does the team
have to do with this?Copy !req
547. If I give myself to youCopy !req
548. knowing that my teammates
wouldn't approve,Copy !req
549. it would be like I was
sleeping with the enemy.Copy !req
550. I'd be betraying them.Copy !req
551. And because I'm truly
not ready to do this,Copy !req
552. - I'd be betraying myself.
- I'm happy for you.Copy !req
553. And, uh, what about you?Copy !req
554. I heard that you had a date
with Santana on Friday night.Copy !req
555. Yeah. I-I couldn't
go through with it.Copy !req
556. Why?Copy !req
557. I guess I'm just waiting
for the right person.Copy !req
558. Do you think they have
room service in this place?Copy !req
559. - 'Cause I want a burger.
- I thought I'd feel different after.Copy !req
560. Yeah, well, I've noticed that
it takes about 20 or so timesCopy !req
561. before the feeling of
accomplishment really kicks in.Copy !req
562. There's no menu,Copy !req
563. so you're gonna have to
take me to a burger joint.Copy !req
564. - How do you feel?
- I don't feel anything...Copy !req
565. 'cause it didn't mean anything.Copy !req
566. Where have you been?
I've been calling you all weekend.Copy !req
567. I was kind of embarrassed.Copy !req
568. I really wanted to go
through with it, Will.Copy !req
569. You were so gracious
and gentle and...Copy !req
570. handsome, and it felt so good
to be close to you in that way.Copy !req
571. I just, I don't know why I
always freak out like that.Copy !req
572. Stop, stop-stop-stop.Copy !req
573. You don't need to sleep
with me to prove anything.Copy !req
574. You took ownership of
your body on FridayCopy !req
575. when you told yourself
you weren't ready...Copy !req
576. and then ran out of my
apartment with no shoes on.Copy !req
577. They're my favorites.
Did you bring them?Copy !req
578. I feel bad, Emma.Copy !req
579. I've been working so hard
trying to get the guysCopy !req
580. to start treating the
girls with more respect,Copy !req
581. and I haven't been
walking the walk.Copy !req
582. I never should have agreed to
have you come over that night.Copy !req
583. - I did kind of throw myself at you.
- That is the point.Copy !req
584. We're falling into a pattern here.
We need to instate an officialCopy !req
585. no-dating policy until
my divorce is final.Copy !req
586. Well, when will that be?Copy !req
587. I filed today.
So that's a start.Copy !req
588. But while we're waiting,
I want you to get some helpCopy !req
589. for your problems;
we need to take action here.Copy !req
590. They're not gonna go
away unless we do.Copy !req
591. Now, our health union
covers counseling.Copy !req
592. They'll come to the school,Copy !req
593. meet you in your office,
whatever you need.Copy !req
594. And... I polished them myself.Copy !req
595. Thank you.Copy !req
596. - Mr. Schuester? - Yes?Copy !req
597. I'm Jessie St. James.
Can I talk to you about something?Copy !req
598. What the hell? It seems like
now everybody's doing thingsCopy !req
599. just to hurt my feelings.Copy !req
600. I thought you all
would take this newsCopy !req
601. a little better. I'm a star.
You can learn from me.Copy !req
602. We were already fighting
for second leads.Copy !req
603. And now that you've shown up,Copy !req
604. I've lost all hope at
ever getting a solo.Copy !req
605. Yeah, that's right.
And y'all just trot me outCopy !req
606. at the end of every number so
I can wail on the last note.Copy !req
607. - How is that okay?
- He's a spy, Mr. Shue. I would know.Copy !req
608. Whoa, Whoa... guys.Copy !req
609. I saw all the paperwork,
I spoke with his parents...Copy !req
610. They winter in Bali.
It's a very expensive phone call.Copy !req
611. Jessie just moved
in with his uncle,Copy !req
612. which is in our school district.Copy !req
613. It's all above board, guys.
He goes to this school now.Copy !req
614. - But this isn't fair.
- Guys!Copy !req
615. Everyone who's ever auditioned
for this group has gotten in.Copy !req
616. That's how we do things here.Copy !req
617. Okay, to suddenly
change the rules now,Copy !req
618. - that would be unfair.
- Brittany.Copy !req
619. Mr. Shue, is he your son?Copy !req
620. I don't understand why
you're doing this.Copy !req
621. Because when you love something,
you got to go for it.Copy !req
622. You would never be
with me completelyCopy !req
623. if I were on the opposing team.Copy !req
624. And I care about you more than
winning another national title.Copy !req
625. So I left Vocal Adrenaline.
For you.Copy !req
626. All right, guys,
we have got a lot of work to do.Copy !req
627. Jessie, great to have you here.Copy !req
628. - Welcome aboard. Okay, from the top.
- Five, six, seven, eight!Copy !req
629. "Hey. "Unh, come on.Copy !req
630. "- Kurt Hummel, take it.
"- Come on, girl.Copy !req
631. "I've been waiting for
somebody to pick up my stroll.Copy !req
632. "Well, don't waste time,
give me the sign"Copy !req
633. "tell me how you want to roll.Copy !req
634. "I want somebody to
speed it up for meCopy !req
635. "then take it down slow.
"There's enough room for both.Copy !req
636. "Well, I can handle that,Copy !req
637. "You just got to show
me where it's at.Copy !req
638. "Are you ready to go?
Are you ready to go...?Copy !req
639. "If you want it,
"you already got it.Copy !req
640. "If you've thought it,
it better be what you want.Copy !req
641. "Time is waiting.Copy !req
642. "We only got four minutes
to save the world.Copy !req
643. "- No hesitating.
"- Yeah.Copy !req
644. "Grab a boy and grab a girl.
"Time is waiting.Copy !req
645. "We only got four minutes
to save the world.Copy !req
646. "No hesitating.Copy !req
647. "We only got four minutes,
four minutes.Copy !req
648. "Don't be afraid,
hey, Madonna, unh.Copy !req
649. "You got to get 'em up, hop.
"Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.Copy !req
650. "That's right, keep it up,
keep it up.Copy !req
651. "Don't be afraid,
hey, Madonna, unh.Copy !req
652. "You got to get 'em up, hop.Copy !req
653. "Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock.Copy !req
654. Sue, what the hell
is going on here?Copy !req
655. Oh, what's the matter, buddy?
Did you miss the show?Copy !req
656. You probably had to run
to the powder room.Copy !req
657. Let me fill you in.Copy !req
658. Future center square
Kurt Hummel thereCopy !req
659. and his brassy hag Mercedes
just tore that Madonna songCopy !req
660. - a new one.
- Wait, you two are Cheerios now?Copy !req
661. Yeah, I've decided to add vocalsCopy !req
662. to my already wildly
overproduced Cheerios numbers.Copy !req
663. It'll give us the
edge at Nationals.Copy !req
664. You guys could've at least
given me the heads-up.Copy !req
665. You mean, the same way
you gave us a heads-upCopy !req
666. before not giving us a
solo almost every week?Copy !req
667. Mr. Shue, Mercedes and ICopy !req
668. talked it over,
and we love being in Glee,Copy !req
669. but being in the
Cheerios will give usCopy !req
670. - more opportunities to shine.
- So we're doing both.Copy !req
671. Ah, chipper up, Tiger.Copy !req
672. You know, I was down
at the pharmacy today,Copy !req
673. and they're having a
monster sale on Dep.Copy !req
674. Dep is a hair gel.Copy !req
675. And once again, I am making fun of
your incredibly stupid hairdo.Copy !req
676. Girls can wear jeans and
cut their hair short,Copy !req
677. wear shirts and boots,
'cause it's okay to be a boy.Copy !req
678. But for a boy to look
like a girl is degrading,Copy !req
679. 'cause you think that
being a girl is degrading.Copy !req
680. But secretly you'd love to know
what it's like, wouldn't you?Copy !req
681. What it feels like for a girl.Copy !req
682. "Silky smooth
"lips as sweet as candy,Copy !req
683. "baby.Copy !req
684. "Strong inside,
but you don't know it.Copy !req
685. "Good little girls,
they never show it.Copy !req
686. "When you open up
your mouth to speakCopy !req
687. "could you be a little weak?Copy !req
688. "Do you know
"Do you knowCopy !req
689. "what it feels
like in this worldCopy !req
690. "for a girl?
"For a girl?Copy !req
691. "Oh.Copy !req
692. "For a girl...Copy !req
693. "In this world...Copy !req
694. "Do you knowCopy !req
695. "what it feels like
in this world?Copy !req
696. I am not down with this.
I like being a dude.Copy !req
697. That's because it's easy
to be a dude.Copy !req
698. Uh, Mr. Shue, I think we're
gonna need a new baritone,Copy !req
699. 'cause Finn would like
to become Finnessa.Copy !req
700. Wait, h-hold on, Puck.
Finn has a point.Copy !req
701. I mean, haven't you noticedCopy !req
702. how low morale has been
around here lately?Copy !req
703. I have.Copy !req
704. I think the way I was objectifying Tina
may have sent her over the edge.Copy !req
705. - Hey, girl.
- My eyes are up here!Copy !req
706. I am a person with feelings!
Get out of my grill!Copy !req
707. I am a powerful woman,Copy !req
708. and my growing feminism
will cut you in halfCopy !req
709. like a righteous blade of equality!Copy !req
710. We've been treating
the girls like crap...Copy !req
711. not caring about their feelings,
not listening, objectifying.Copy !req
712. That's the right word,
right, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
713. - That's right.
- Objectifying.Copy !req
714. As an honorary girl,
I have to agree.Copy !req
715. This team shouldn't work,
but it doesCopy !req
716. because we respect
each other's talent.Copy !req
717. And if we want to take it toCopy !req
718. the next level, we have to startCopy !req
719. respecting each other
as individuals.Copy !req
720. Really see each other.Copy !req
721. Why were you
singing with us, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
722. Because apparently...
I need to learn that lesson.Copy !req
723. Fine, but I'm not
singing this song.Copy !req
724. We don't have to.Copy !req
725. We just have to make it
right with the girls,Copy !req
726. show them we get how it feels.Copy !req
727. I would get down on
one knee if I could.Copy !req
728. Why would you propose to me?Copy !req
729. - You don't even like me.
- Stop.Copy !req
730. That's where you're wrong.
I was really rude to you.Copy !req
731. You're awesome.Copy !req
732. And you shouldn't change,
unless you want to.Copy !req
733. And if you want to get up on this,
just let me know.Copy !req
734. Yep. That's more like it.Copy !req
735. Hey.Copy !req
736. If you're gonna criticize
and mock me againCopy !req
737. - about Jessie, you can can it.
- I wanted to apologize.Copy !req
738. The only reason you were evenCopy !req
739. open to dating Jessie was
because I was such an ass.Copy !req
740. Mr. Tough Guy and all that.
I really liked you.Copy !req
741. And I could have had you,
but I blew it.Copy !req
742. - You really liked me?
- Okay, Finn. I know we haveCopy !req
743. a big showdown coming,
so let's just decide on the arena.Copy !req
744. Sing-off, the parking lot,
5:00... be there.Copy !req
745. - No.
- Welcome to New Directions.Copy !req
746. Frankly, I need you.
I'm tired ofCopy !req
747. carrying the male
vocals all by myself.Copy !req
748. I'll do my best to stay
away from your girl.Copy !req
749. I appreciate that.
She's a keeper.Copy !req
750. Walk with me to the auditorium.Copy !req
751. I put together a
new Madonna number;Copy !req
752. - I'll talk you through it on the way.
- Sweet.Copy !req
753. Like A Payer# MadonnaCopy !req
754. "Glee".Copy !req